


A Sealed Fate

by SpazzticRevenge



Category: Final Fantasy XIII, Final Fantasy XIII Series, Final Fantasy XIII-2
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fantasy, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-15
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-14 18:18:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 293,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3420785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpazzticRevenge/pseuds/SpazzticRevenge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was his guardian and he was her charge. They had beaten their fate and she had kept him safe. But when she awakens from years of blissful sleep into the birth of a new war, can she still protect him? Can she still keep her promise? They found strength in each other before, can they find that strength again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reality

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on FF, and it still is, but I am slowly copying it over to here. If there is anyone I know from FF on here, heyz. This story is very much HopexLight, so if that's not your thing, please exit stage left. This story ignores Lightning Returns and most of XIII-2, excluding some elements and characters, and will be continuing on after the events of XIII. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or Square Enix. If I did, XIII-2 and LR would have been MUCH different.

 

She was lost in a dream world. A world so much like her own, that she had no way of knowing that it was a dream. Everyone was there. She was with her sister, who she had fought so desperately to get back. She was with Snow, who still got on her nerves frequently, but made Serah happy. She was with Sazh and Dajh, who had moved closer to them in Bodhum, unable to separate from them all. She was with Fang and Vanille, who decided to stay with their new family. She was with Hope and Bartholomew, who had also decided to stay in their town so Hope would remain close with them. She was even with the NORA gang, who she had admittedly grown attached to along with the rest of her family.

She hated to admit it, but she loved this new life she had with this dysfunctional new family. She loved who she had become. The Lightning that had steeled herself and her feelings, had melted away. Serah was all grown up and in good hands now. She didn't want or need that hard shell of a sister Lightning had become. The fighting was over and they lived in utter peace. Every day was beautiful, filled with laughter and joy. Nothing changed and everyone was happy.

Until one day, Lightning couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. It was as if the wool had been pulled from her eyes. This peace and happiness was out of place. They were together, yes. They were happy, yes. But they were on Cocoon. The last thing she had known was that Cocoon had fallen, or was falling. And Vanille and Fang... they had gotten separated from them in the fall. How were they here now? When did they reunite with Hope's father? How did they find Serah and Dajh? Something was wrong. It was as if all of the previous passing days had been fake and now she was realizing the mistakes. Nothing changed. They were all the same age, like time stood still.

Lightning curled her hands tightly into fists. Tightly enough that her nails began to draw blood from her palms.

"Claire?"

Lightning turned to see her sister with curious eyes looking at her with worry. "Something's wrong, Serah _." I feel like I'm not supposed to be here._ Blood started dripping from her palm as the pinkette became more and more agitated.

"Claire, stop. You're hurting yourself."

Lightning looked down at her hands and only then did she start to feel the stabbing pain of the cuts. She looked up at Serah, about to speak when the world blurred before her. Within moments, she became cold, freezing in fact. She fell to her knees as she grabbed her sides in an attempt to warm herself up, but it did no good. The cold seemed to seep into her bones. Her breathing quickened as her lungs struggled for air. It was like her body was freezing up.

She looked to her sister, wondering if she was experiencing the same, but she was gone. Serah was nowhere to be seen. Lightning felt a pang of sorrow hit her. As confused as she had been before, she wasn't ready to give this happiness up.

Focusing on her breathing, Lightning tried to steady it, but to no avail. Her lungs felt like they were shrinking and would soon disappear. Her limbs began to tense as she felt every part of her body stiffening. Heavy, she felt so very heavy.

With a thud, her body collapsed down into the sand. A cry died out in her throat as it too appeared to freeze over. And there Lightning laid as Bodhum began to melt out of existence. She couldn't move, couldn't speak, she couldn't even bat an eyelash. She had been rendered completely still as the world grew silent around her.

It was only one or two more agonizing moments until the blurry world around her disappeared in a flash.

* * *

The world came back into focus a few minutes later. The world she woke up in however, was not the bright seaside town she was expecting, but a dimly lit room. As Lightning stood, dizziness washed over her and she reached out to hold something to steady herself. She gripped something solid and cold until she felt the room stop spinning. She realized then that she had been grasping someone's hand, a crystallized person's hand at that. She looked up to see that it belonged to Snow. The burly man stood there encased in crystal. Lightning looked around the spacious room and saw others crystallized as well. A small, young boy, who she surmised was Dajh since he had an uncanny resemblance to Sazh, was about ten feet away. And Serah was in the center of the room.

"Serah", Lightning gasped as she ran toward her. She was just like the others and, as Lightning deduced, was just like she had been moments ago, crystallized and dreaming. _So that's what it was. I was in crystal stasis. Dreaming away as time passed by. So the hazy vision, frozen feeling, and loss of breath was just me reentering reality._ Lightning growled. She was tired of all the l'Cie business. She thought she had finally been rid of it, only to wake up and find that it was all in her head.

Lightning gasped at a thought. _My brand._ Pale hands pulled down the zipper of her shirt and saw that the brand was no longer there. The eyesore tattoo had vanished. The one thing that had plagued her existence and endangered herself and her friends, while at the same time connected her to a new family, had finally disappeared. To prove this, the young woman scratched at the brand's previous spot for good measure _. It's really gone. But how long have I..._ At that thought, Lightning surveyed the room.

 _Where is Hope, Sazh, Vanille, and Fang? Did they already wake up? Wait, where am I?_ Aqua orbs continued to look over the area. Further observation led her to notice a camera on the ceiling in the left corner. Other than that, it was a bare metal room.

There was one door in the right corner a few paces away. Seeing it as her way out, she stepped toward it, but stopped. She turned to look at Snow and Dajh. She then gave a longing look at Serah. _I don't want to leave you, but I have to figure out where we are._ She turned back to Serah and clasped her hands over her sister's. _I'll come back for you. All of you._

With that, she ran to the exit. Lightning looked through the small window in the door and saw nothing but an empty hallway. She grabbed the door handle, expecting it to be locked, and was surprised when it opened with ease. _Okay, well I guess we weren't imprisoned. But…_ It was dead quiet, but Lightning heard footsteps drawing near. By the sound of it, it was only a single person. Lightning went for her gunblade and was relieved to have it at her side. It felt like it been ages since she had last used her weapon, but at the same time, like it was only yesterday that it was slicing into Orphan.

The footsteps were approaching from around a corner. She needed a plan. _Do I quickly grab them and demand answers? No, what if it's a civilian and I only succeed in threatening an innocent person? Do I act like I'm lost and casually ask them where I am? Gage it from there? No, what if it is a soldier and I end up getting arrested? I could just go back into the room. No, that solves nothing, I'll come across someone sooner or later._ The person rounded the corner as they were wringing their hands, watching them intently. He was about thirty feet away to her estimation. _He hasn't noticed me yet. He has a gun so I assume it's a soldier, but I definitely don't recognize the uniform. Where am I? When am I?_

The soldier, who looked rather young, looked up and drew his gun from his side, causing Lightning to grip her gunblade tighter. "Identification please? What is your rank and business?" The man looked her up and down, assessing her. Lightning though, was still struggling with her decision. "I said Identifi-"

"Of course. Sorry I was just a little caught up in my thoughts", stated Lightning. She reached toward her pocket and watched as the soldier started to lower his weapon. In a flash, Lightning drew her gunblade and knocked the gun out of the soldier's hands. She pinned him to the wall with her gunblade at his throat. The soldier trembled slightly as the blade pressed deeper into his neck. "Where am I? What is this place", Lightning growled.

The soldier gave her a confused look, but stopped when the blade began to cut into skin. "I-it's t-the... Academy Base. R-Resear-Research and Operations-s.", stuttered the soldier.

"Academy base? Wha-" _Well I guess that answers where... sort of._ "What's the year?"

At that the young man gave her an incredulous look. "I-It's 6AF. How do you not know the year? Who are you?"

Lightning was far too lost in her thoughts to care about the soldier's questions. _6AF? What the hell does that... wait... it couldn't mean..._ Shoulders tensing at the thought, the previous l'Cie gave him a hard look. "What is AF?"

The soldier's eyebrows scrunched up immensely at that question. _Not knowing where you are, okay. Not knowing the year, weird. But not knowing AF?_ His thoughts were quickly interrupted by the blade pressing further, yet again into his throat. "It m-mean-ns after fall. As in, after the fall of Cocoon."

 _Then it is. It's really been six years since I-_ Blaring alarms began to sound throughout the building, cutting Lightning from her thoughts. "What is that?"

"I think it's about you", the soldier simply stated, a small smile appearing on his face. He tilted his head slightly, gesturing to the camera in the ceiling.

"Damn." Just as the word flew from her mouth, she heard running footsteps and shouting down both sides of the hallway.

"You should really just give up and surrender. You're not going to get out of here alive If you-"

She drew her gunblade back and slammed the hilt down on his head, knocking him unconscious. _Please, if the rest of the soldiers around here are like you, excuse me for not cowering at their feet._ Not a moment later did four soldiers come up in front of her, three rounding a corner to come up behind. _Hmph, not a problem._ Lightning smirked, ready for a fight. As she prepared to lunge for her first target, she felt a stinging sensation in her neck. She reached toward it with her left hand and pulled out a miniscule dart. _A tranquillizer? You've got to be kidding me._

It hit her like a truck. A giant wave of dizziness and nausea washed over her. Her body became exhausted. Lightning's gaze turned down to the floor as she fell to her knees. She then collapsed to the ground, her gunblade flopping to her side. Lightning's eyelids became far too heavy to keep open, leading her to close her eyes, reluctantly letting sleep take over her again. _Why can't it be over? Why can't it ever be over?_


	2. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You don't recognize me, do you?"

Lightning awoke with a start. With a slight headache, she went to get up, but felt dizziness hit her yet again. As she brought a hand to her forehead, she heard a familiar voice.

"Hey, take it easy, soldier girl." Lightning looked up to see none other than Sazh. He put a hand to her shoulder pressing her back down to the couch. The man looked almost exactly the same as she remembered him, his fro maybe a bit bushier.

"I can't believe someone else's finally awake. O'course, it would'a been nice if you'd woken up durin' the day so someone could'a seen ya. Avoidin' this 'ole mess." Sazh looked down at Lightning, remembering just how disoriented he had been after waking up. _But at least there was someone there to explain things to me._

"Where am I? What happened?" Lightning looked around the room, noting that she was on a couch in rather large office.

"No how ya do's? Right to business then", Sazh said, smiling. Lightning sat up, ready for an explanation. "All right, well I best be gettin' someone first. Might as well hear it from one of the more higher ups. And from someone you're a bit closer to." Sazh winked at this and Lightning shot him a glare. "Now calm down, I have some business to be finishin' anyway, but I'll be seein' ya soon. You can count on that." Sazh began to walk toward the door, seemingly in a hurried state.

The soldier jumped up from her seat a tad slower than she was used to, her world still a little distorted, and grabbed Sazh's shoulder. "How about you start explaining some things first, Sazh. Then you can go." He looked back at her with a crooked grin.

"Trust me, Lightning, it's better from him."

Lightning's grip slid form his shoulder as confusion fell upon her features. "It's better from who?" Azure eyes glared at Sazh until his smile disappeared. Before the elder could respond, a loud ringing sounded.

Sazh sighed and answered his communicator, giving the pinkette an apologetic look. "Hello... No who authorized that... I'm trying t-... I'll be over there in a flash." At that, Sazh shut off his comm and glanced at Lightning. She was standing with her arms crossed in front of her, looking like she was ready to shoot him if he didn't give her some answers. "Alright, I know patience ain't your strong suit, but I really gotta head out. Jus' wait here. I promise you'll get those answers." With that, Sazh took off out the door.

Lightning made to run after him, but stopped. "Tch, figures. I finally find someone and they run off." _It's good to see him though. But who the hell was he talking about anyway? One of the more higher ups... someone you're a bit closer to... And what was that wink about?_ "Whatever." Lightning went back to the couch, picked up her gunblade that had been previously leaned against it, and holstered the weapon. _Well, seeing as I wouldn't know my way around, I might as well stay. It's Sazh anyway. I trust him right? But I'm going to have to remind him of who he's dealing with next time. Ordering me around? Tch._

Lightning looked around the room. It was a pretty spacious office. There were three bookcases filled with books covering most of the right wall, many of them technical manuals and history books. Most were worn, the spines very much broken in. On the left side of the room, there was a table with many small gadgets and mechanical pieces that lay strewn across it. And at the far side of the room was a desk, kept up rather well. The young woman walked over to it. There was a computer in its center with a large stack of papers on the left and one framed picture on the right. Lightning picked up the picture, eyes roving over the photograph's subjects. It had three men all posed in front of a building. She recognized two of the men. The one in the middle was Bartholomew who looked exactly the same except he didn't have on his glasses. The man to his left was Rygdea. _I thought he had turned cieth. Well, so did we._ He also looked exactly the same. _But the man on the right...?_ Lightning was sure she didn't know him, but he looked extremely familiar. The soldier just couldn't place him.

She put the picture down and walked back over to the couch. She stood, crossing her arms and waiting, staring at the door. After about five minutes, Lightning sighed. _So I'm awake. It's not like I expected a parade or anything, but I would kind of like to know what the hell is going on._ Lightning closed her eyes and immediately remembered her dream world in crystal stasis. Although she knew now that it hadn't been real, she missed it. It had been the simple life with her family that she felt she had earned. She began to wonder if she wouldn't prefer that reality to this one.

Lightning was so caught up in her thoughts, she hadn't seen or heard anyone come up beside her. She felt a hand on her shoulder and was jerked from her thoughts. In the blink of an eye, Lightning grabbed the man's wrist and pulled it behind his back, sweeping her gunblade up and under his chin.

The man tried to speak, "Wait I-", but was cut off by the soldier.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" Lightning brought the gunblade closer to his neck, hoping to bypass any struggling and get the point of the stranger's approach.

"Well seeing as you're in my office, why wouldn't I be in here? I heard you wanted to talk, Light."

Lightning let the man go, but kept her weapon ready to strike. After stumbling forward, he composed himself and turned around. It was the man in the picture that had seemed familiar. _So it very well could be his office._ The man was a few inches taller than her with a lanky build and was wearing a white, blue, and yellow uniform. He had shining silver hair and deep emerald green eyes that made Lightning swear she knew him. His voice even sounded familiar.

"You don't recognize me, do you", he asked with a hurt expression.

It was that expression, with those puppy dog eyes, that seemed to hit Lightning in the face with the answer. _Hope? But your so... Well apparently it has been six years. But when did you wake up?_

A flash of recognition seemed to pass through Lightning's eyes, but she just stood there, mouth agape. Hope walked toward her hesitantly. "Light?" Just as Hope was about to place a hand on her shoulder, the soldier swept him into a hug. A hug that reminded him so much of the one in Palumpolum years ago. He wrapped his arms around her waist, returning the warm welcome. "It's good to see you too, Light." He missed her immensely.

The pink-haired woman pulled away, hands still resting on his shoulders, and looked him up and down. "It's you, but you're so..."

"Old", guessed Hope, chuckling softly. She was still looking him over, causing the young man to shift uncomfortably from the scrutiny.

She couldn't believe she hadn't recognized him. He was much taller, and had thinned out with some fairly toned muscle, having lost the last of his baby fat. His face was longer with a strong, angular jaw line. His hair was a bit longer and tamer, but still a glimmering silver. And those eyes. How could she not remember those eyes? After a few awkwardly silent moments, Lightning punched him in the arm.

"Ow, what was that for", asked Hope, rubbing the now slightly sore spot. _She didn't hold back, either._

She only glared at him in return. Though on the inside, she was greatly relieved to have Hope at her side once again. He was alive, safe, and healthy. "That was for making me wait. And..." Lightning punched him again in the same spot after his other arm left it. "That's for growing up."

Hope winced and rubbed the abused area again, but smiled at her statement. "Jeez, Light, I'm sorry. I was in a meeting. I came as soon as Sazh got a hold of me." He walked over to the couch and gestured for her to sit beside him. _As long as she's not going to hit me again._ Lightning walked over and sat down. "As for the growing up part... well, couldn't be helped, I guess." Hope rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as he gazed upon her form beside him. "It is really great to see you, Light, even if I get a bruised arm out of the deal." The silveret smiled at her, still not believing that she had finally awoken. _It feels like it's been forever and now... no. So not the time._ "So, I'm sure you have some questi-"

"When did you wake up?" Lightning looked at Hope tentatively. _He couldn't be more than twenty._

Hope looked down at the ground, pain registering in his grim expression. Taking a breath, he then looked back into Lightning's hard gaze. "About a year after the fall. I was the first to wake up."

"And Sazh?"

"He woke up four years after, three years after me." A tiny smile tugged at his lips as he thought about when the man had been found after waking up, the little chick flying wildly around his head. "The chocobo was still in his hair, so it got crystallized too." Hope chuckled briefly before continuing. "I can't believe how big it is now, after just a couple years." Lightning smiled at the thought of that little chick sprouting into full growth. Much like the Hope before her.

Hope's breath caught, seeing the soft fondness on Lightning. He never forgot her smile, since it was such a rare occasion to see it, and he relished in the one before him now.

"What about Vanille and Fang?" At that, his smile faded. He looked down at his hands, a conflicted expression crossing his features. "What", she asked, concern creeping into her voice. "They aren't..."

Hope looked up, blanching as he waved his hands before him. "They are crystallized too, but..."

"But what?"

"They stopped Cocoon from falling." The teen's eyes fell down to the floor and he stood at the thought. "They became Ragnarok and crystallized Cocoon. It created a crystal pillar that holds it up. They're inside that pillar." Hope sighed and looked at Lightning. She shared his obvious concern.

 _If Vanille and Fang woke up, would that mean the end of Cocoon and all still inside?_ Lightning looked at Hope's troubled expression and decided to move away from the topic. "So, this is your office? You must be pretty important."

Hope smiled again and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, you could say that."

"What is this place anyway? The Academy?"

"It's the new government around here. Pretty much replaced the Sanctum. This is the base. You woke up in the Research and Operations sector." Hope bit his lip, grimacing at the way the situation had been handled. "Sorry about the guards and the tranquillizer, by the way." He looked at her hesitantly while she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, that was fun." Lightning looked up at Hope's sheepish expression and smirked. _Looks like some things never change._

"Anyway, after the fall and after they built up much of the new settlement, they created the Academy. Many of the people that had been evacuated or purged before the fall live here in Academia."

"Many?" Lightning furrowed her brow at Hope's harsh expression.

 _She really doesn't miss a thing. Same old Light._ "There is another settlement run by what's left of the Sanctum." Lightning growled, causing Hope to smile. He really liked how well he knew her. "I know. It's filled with people who still don't trust us. L'Cie, I mean. They refused to have anything to do with us or any of the purge victims. Instead they created their own colony and I don't know how..." Hope sighed, "but they work with another Fal'Cie and-"

"What?" Lightning stood, rigid and furious in her stance. "How? Why would anyone want to-" She huffed and raked her hands through her hair. "After everything that's happened."

"And that is exactly why we don't trust it. But it provides them with power and they..." Hope trailed off, looking off to the corner. Sensing his discomfort, Lightning walked over to him and lifted his chin to make his gaze meet hers. A blush crept up over Hope's cheeks as their eyes locked. After a few moments of silence, Hope continued, "Anyway that's pretty much what all this is." The young man gestured to the room. "We are mostly rebuilding and after our first big step of crafting our own power, we jumped on other projects. We sent ships to find more purge settlements and brought them back. Even after so many years, we managed to find one just a few months ago." Hope looked back at Lightning, but she was staring off into the distance.

_All this time, I've been dreaming away while Hope and everyone else were having to deal with real problems. I should have been here. Why wouldn't I wake up?_

"Light?" Just as Hope stirred the girl from her thoughts, a knock sounded from the door. "Yes." Both Hope and Lightning looked back to the door as a woman pushed it open.

Lightning took the girl in as she stood there. Short, curly blonde hair fell about to her jawline, bangs falling just above blue eyes that seemed to be filled with adoration as she looked to the man before her. Her uniform matched Hope's, but was much more feminine and was a tad more revealing on her tan, petite frame. A perky smile pulled at her lips as she began to speak.

"Director, don't tell me you forgot about the meeting. About your proposal for the-"

"Right, sorry, Alyssa." Hope looked down to the floor solemnly, then back at Lightning with a small smile. "I got a little carried away. You probably want to clean up right? I know when I woke up, I really wanted a shower. And you're probably hungry. Well uh... this is Alyssa Zaidelle, my assistant." He gestured back to the woman standing in the doorway. "Alyssa, this is Lightning Farron."

Alyssa instantly perked up at that. "Really, I heard another woke up last night." She walked over and held her hand out. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Right." Lightning shook her hand, uninterested eyes catching the assistant's.

Hope started walking backwards toward the door while the women greeted each other. "So Alyssa, would you mind showing Light to her temporary room?"

"Of course, Director", Alyssa replied with a smile that didn't appear to be leaving anytime soon.

Hope looked to Lightning. "It's right by Sazh's so don't worry if you have any questions. I'll see you later, all right, Light?" With that he was out the door.

"So", started Alyssa. "That just leaves you and me." She giggled before an intrigued expression overtook her features. "I can't imagine how this must be for you. I mean, _six years_ … but with stasis it must seem like just yesterday you all took down Orphan."

 _Yay, she's chipper. Very, very chipper._ She looked at the young assistant and realized that the girl was waiting for a reply. "Yeah, pretty much." _Sort of._

They began to walk out of Hope's office and down the corridors. "Well, it is wonderful to meet you. I've heard so much about you and the l'Cie adventures."

_Adventures huh? Well, that's one word for it._

"The director says you pretty much saved his life. He said that if you hadn't toughened him up, he would have been eaten alive." Alyssa smiled at Lightning who just looked down at the ground.

_Really? I guess so-_

Alyssa didn't wait for a response. "Anyway, your room isn't too far away. We had them built for when you all woke up so you'd have a temporary place to stay. Until we could find you a more permanent residence that is."

"But I thought Sazh woke up a couple years ago?"

"That's right", answered Alyssa, bouncing on her heels.

Lightning tried to ignore her cheery demeanor, but felt her eye twitch just a little. "So then why is he still living here?"

The blonde's expression tensed, but she managed to keep a tight smile. "I don't have much interaction with Mr. Katzroy, but from what I've heard it's because of his son... staying close to him and all. You know?"

"Right." Lightning looked back down to the ground, sorrow and understanding within her. "So who runs this place anyway? Some old Primarch like Dysley? If that's the case, then I'd rather stay a crystal."

Alyssa giggled. "No, silly", the girl chirped. "He didn't tell you?" She looked over to Lightning with a furrowed brow.

"What?"

"Our fearless leader", said Alyssa erupting into another fit of giggles, "is Director Estheim of course."


	3. Possibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Our fearless leader", said Alyssa erupting into another fit of giggles, "is Director Estheim of course."

Lightning stopped dead in her tracks. "As in Hope?"

Alyssa abruptly spun on her heel as her smile grew. "I'm surprised he didn't tell you, but it would be hard to get out six years of information in just a few minutes." The blonde began bouncing on her heels again, oblivious to the obvious irritation it caused her companion.

_In six years, okay five, Hope changed from... well he did change a lot during those last weeks, but... to become a leader of a new society?_

Alyssa tapped her index finger against her chin, tilting her head slightly as she looked at Lightning. The soldier's face was impassive as she stared at the floor. "Something wrong", inquired a concerned Alyssa.

Lightning shook her head. The perky assistant turned and continued walking, the still stunned soldier following after. "Isn't he a bit young?"

The blonde fell back into step beside her, humming an affirmative. "Yes, he is exceptionally young for his position, but he really does deserve it. And he does a fine job of leading everyone. He's very popular and is admired by many." Alyssa brought a hand to her chin, a usual mannerism of hers apparently. "He's extremely intelligent and very sweet... but of course you know that." She then looked down bashfully and smiled nervously.

Lightning gave her a sidelong glance, detecting something.

"He joined the Academy right after it was founded by Bartholomew Estheim and Rygdea in 2AF", stated the assistant. "Much like me, he flew through the ranks, he was already practically leading it before he even took over. But he became the director last year due to... unfortunate and unforeseeable events." Alyssa's smile seemed to shrink as her thoughts drifted to dark memories.

"What happened?"

Alyssa's pace slowed until the two came to a stop. "Well, after the creation of the Academy, Bartholomew Estheim was the director. Rygdea didn't want any part in the government, so he works alongside General Amodar. They lead the Calvary and the Guardian Corps."

Ears perking up at the familiar name, Lightning put a hand on Alyssa's shoulder "Amodar? As in-"

Alyssa gave a toothy smile, "That's right. You were under his command back before the fall. He talks about you too. At least when I've been around him." The girl snickered. "The Calvary mainly surveys pulse, mapping it out, and also rescues surviving purge settlements. The Guardian Corps helps protect the citizens of Academia... Anyway…", a solemn expression captured Alyssa's face once again, "Bartholomew Estheim was a great leader, but when there was an assassination attempt on Hope's life-"

The pinkette tensed, heart nearly stopping at the new information. "What, by who?"

Alyssa looked around briefly, her eyes flitting from place to place. "By the Sanctum settlement", she whispered. "It was never proven but... that was where all of the breadcrumbs lead to. In the exchange though, three men were killed along with Bartholomew."

Lightning's eyes grew wide as her lips parted. _He lost his father too._

Alyssa continued walking, wanting to move away from the topic. She stopped a few feet forward and turned back around when she noticed Lightning hadn't moved. The soldier looked up, face devoid of emotions, betraying her inner confliction, and started walking again.

With a content hum, Alyssa continued. "After the incident, the position was left to Hope. Although, I know he was a bit reluctant to accept it."

_I bet._

"Here we are. I do hope you find the room accommodating to your needs. Mr. Katzroy's room is right here." Alyssa ran a hand on the front of the door across the hall, indicating the exact location of her previous l'Cie companion. "Here is your key", she continued, handing Lightning her key card and turning on her heel to leave. Before taking a step however, she spun around abruptly causing Lightning to raise a brow. "Oh and I almost forgot." Alyssa put a hand to her forehead. "There is a communicator for you by the phone. My number is already in it, along with the director's and Mr. Katzroy's. Be sure to give me a ring if you need anything." With that, the perky blonde waved and left.

Lightning stood there, letting all the information sink in. After a few moments, she entered her room. It was a cozy place with a small kitchen and dining area. A couch and TV signified the living room. And two rooms were off on the left as the bathroom and bedroom. It seemed like more of a small apartment rather than a temporary room. Walking over to the side table, she placed her key card next to the phone and communicator.

Lightning dropped onto the couch, sighing. _So much has happened while I was off in la la land. Why did it have to be Hope that woke up first? Why did he have to be saddled with so much responsibility while we all slept the time away? He'd already been forced to grow up so much after his mother died... and then to wake up with none of us there. Well at least he had his father but…_ Lightning let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose. _To lose him too? And like that is just... he can't catch a break._

The young woman found herself reflecting back to her encounter with Hope. _He seems to have changed so much. Of course puberty and running a city will do that. I can't get over how grown he is though._ Lightning sat up, lower lip soon being sucked behind her front teeth _. I'm glad Sazh is here too. I'm definitely grateful I wasn't the first to wake up although, I would have preferred it to Hope._ Realizing that she was only causing herself to become further agitated, she got up and looked out the window. Six years seemed like such a small time frame to build a city, but they did it. It was filled with buildings and people all hustling through everyday life.

Lightning's mind slipped into its days in crystal stasis. She had been surrounded by all of those loving and caring people, surrounded by such warmth, that she missed it terribly _. I finally had everyone back. I finally had her back. Only to wake up and find that she's still in that damned crystal._ Lightning huffed, fury flying through her, and picked up the lamp on the side table before hurling it towards the opposite wall. It had shattered on contact and she fell against the wall. _I can't... why?_ It was a question she felt had never truly been answered. Why they all had to deal with so much, time and time again. _And I refuse to accept that it's destiny, fate, or whatever._ After a few moments of deep breathing, Lightning got up and went to take a shower.

* * *

A good twenty minutes later, Lightning went to the closet which held a few Academy uniforms that looked awfully like Alyssa's. _Yay._ And a few Guardian Corps uniforms just like her own. Lightning smirked and slipped a uniform on. Just after, there was a knock on the door.

"One moment", Lightning yelled as she rushed to the door. She peeked out the peep hole to see Sazh waiting. "Hey, Sazh", she greeted as she opened the door.

"Lightning, it's great to see ya, when I'm not runnin' this way and that, o'course. Care to join me in the mess hall for lunch?"

As grateful as Lightning was to see Sazh and have him there, she really didn't feel up for much socializing. Especially around a bunch of other soldiers and workers in the mess. _And if they're all like Alyssa..._

The afro-haired man chuckled at Lightning's hard gaze. "Well, what'll it be, soldier? An old man could use some fresh company" prodded Sazh enthusiastically. "These worker bees are great and all, but I'd rather have lunch with an old friend."

Lightning rolled her eyes. "You're not that old, Sazh." She walked back into the room, snatched up her key card and communicator, ignored the shattered lamp on the floor, _I'm glad Sazh can't see that from the doorway_ , and walked out.

"Well all right, let's have ourselves a little welcome back party."

Knowing that to be the exact opposite of what she wanted, she glared at Sazh, "Let's not go that far. But it beats wandering around aimlessly. I definitely am not going to sleep. I've rested enough for a lifetime."

Sazh snickered, "Yeah I know exactly how ya feel. Only when I woke up, I had five soldiers on me in two minutes. All tellin' me to stay calm, that things were safe, and that I had nothin' to worry about." The man shook his head. "I wouldn'ta been worryin' if they hadn't been pointin' weapons in my face. I was ready for a fight... but the moment I saw all y'all, and Dajh, I surrendered. Found myself talking to a Director Estheim. Said he was Hope's father. Gotta say..." Sazh rubbed the back of his head. "They look nothin' alike."

Lightning chuckled, "Yeah, no kidding."

"I told him that too. He said the kid took after his mom really. And uh... well..." His smile faded, recalling the less pleasant parts of that conversation. "Well, then after a bit of explainin' about this new world, in strolls the kid himself and, dear Maker, even two years ago he didn't look like a kid anymore", Sazh said excitedly. "Kid's a man now."

Lightning snorted, "Yeah, it's hard to miss." _Couldn't even recognize him._

* * *

When they reached the mess, Sazh showed Lightning to a table, his usual spot he called it, and went to get them lunch. Lightning tried to tell him she could get it herself, but he insisted. Left to herself for a few minutes, the pink-haired soldier looked around the hall. It seemed that all eyes were on her. People were looking over their shoulders, staring across tables, and were most certainly saying things about her. _Great, how do I always manage to attract attention? It's like I'm a celebrity around here. Although to be fair, they probably don't meet many reawakened l'Cie. Especially not ones who brought down the government... and their home... and probably crystallized many of their loved ones... okay, just stop._

As if on cue, a man sat in front of her. He had shaggy blonde hair that fell into his light blue eyes, and was wearing blue coveralls, with silver and orange goggles on his head. Lightning vaguely remembered him to be a part of the NORA gang.

Even though they had all been in her crystal dreams, she really only interacted with Lebreau and Gadot, seeing as she knew them the most before.

He looked at her with an eager gaze, like he was waiting for her to speak up. Lightning sighed, resigning herself to a conversation. "It's Maqui, right?"

The blond grinned. "Sure is. I wasn't sure you'd remember me. It's so cool to see another one of you guys walking around."

_Why do I feel like a dog that just showed off a trick? Like I had been able to walk around and just opted not to?_

"So, you like the place? It's no Cocoon, but who needs it", said Maqui as he shoveled mashed potatoes in his mouth.

Lightning wasn't sure what to make of the man. He had a very boyish personality, though his enthusiasm was refreshing, if not a little over the top.

"Here ya go", stated Sazh as he slid the tray in front of his lunch mate. The elder sat beside her and nodded toward Maqui.

"Heya."

"How'd the proposal go", inquired Sazh as he absently scooped up some meatloaf on his spork.

"It went great, actually. Should have it up and running in a month or so", Maqui exclaimed. He gestured emphatically as he spoke, accidentally flinging mashed potatoes on the table. "Hope's plan really is terrific, and with some fine tuning from me of course, it'll be ready to go in no time."

The conversation peeked Lightning's interest at the mention of Hope. _Alyssa did say something about him having a proposal._ "Proposal for what", she asked, passing it off as a mild interest.

Sazh went to speak, but was curtly cut off by the boy across from them. "It's basically a shield. We've been having frequent monster attacks, and since we're basically in their territory, it's not like we could have expected anything different, but it's gotten worse. The Guardian Corps can only do so much you know?" Lightning raised a brow, causing Maqui to hesitate slightly. "Right, well... the monsters are making it further into the cities every day. There were two more civilian deaths just last week due to a pack of Lobos. Anyway, Hope came up with a shield invention that seems very promising. I'm excited to help out with it too. I mean..." Maqui looked at Sazh with amusement, "I love workin' on your ships and all, Sazh, and all the small gadgets I put together ain't nothing either, but... I don't know. This seems more purposeful, you know?" The young man finished before shoving the last of his food down his throat.

"Hey kid, why don't you slow down a bit there and use the teeth the Maker gave ya?"

Maqui rolled his eyes, used to Sazh's fatherly tendencies. "Yeah, Yeah, grandpa." He smirked at Sazh's pause. "Sorry, but I gotta get to work if I wanna get off early. I'm meeting up with Lebreau at the bar."

Sazh gave Maqui an all knowing look. "Lebreau, huh?"

Maqui didn't take the bait. "Whatever. I'll see ya later, Lightning. It was good to see you again." Lightning nodded toward him as he left.

After the brief lull in conversation, the soldier turned toward Sazh. "So, what do you do around here anyway?"

"I'm a pilot. I do what pilots do best." Sazh winked. "I fly", he replied with a chuckle. "I work with the Calvary on their many missions. I'm actually due to fly out on a mission tomorrow. It's highly classified and even I don't know where we're goin' 'til I report in in the mornin'."

She nodded absentmindedly. "What do you think I'm going to do?"

"Well, you're our soldier girl, right? You're gonna do what soldiers do best, right?" Sazh looked to Lightning.

"I guess."

The answer laced with uncertainty caused him to furrow his brow and put a hand on Lightning's shoulder. "What's up? You look a little down."

 _I feel so out of place here._ She yawned, feigning crystal stasis lag. "It's nothing, just feeling a bit off, I guess. I think I'll go back to the room."

Sazh wasn't convinced, but Lightning was never the type of person to open up much. "Well, all right. I got some last minute things I gotta get done before I head out in the mornin'. But hey, it was great seein' ya... and you should really find Hope. Kid's probably runnin' himself ragged, as always, but I'm sure he'll spare some time for a certain soldier." Sazh patted her on the back and took off before she could react.

Lightning glared after the pilot. She got up and put up her tray. Looking around, she felt unsure of where to go. Thanks to her training, she had memorized the way from Hope's office to her room, and from her room to the mess, but she really didn't feel like going back to her room and she wasn't sure she'd find Hope in his office. After a moment of thought, she pulled out her communicator and called Hope. When he didn't answer, she opted to calling Alyssa _. Man, I would love to punch someone right now. Never thought I'd actually miss having that big oaf around._

"Hey, Miss Farron, may I help you with something?"

"Call me Lightning. Um... I was wondering where Hope would be. I needed to speak with him about something and he isn't answering his communicator."

"Oh, just give me a sec", the girl replied cheerfully. "He's in room 402 in the Research and Operations Sector. There are maps by the stairwells and elevators, but if you'd like, I could send an officer to escort you."

Lightning glanced at a map a few paces away from her. "No, that won't be necessary. Thanks for the help."

"Oh anytime, Mi- Lightning. Let me know if I can help you with anything else."

Lightning hung up and went to the elevator. _Alright 'Director'. You better have a good excuse for not picking up._

* * *

Ten minutes later, Lightning managed to find Room 402. It's _the room we were stored in. The room I woke up in._ With a tentative step, she opened the door. She stepped inside and let the door fall shut behind her. Hope was standing in front of Snow, staring intently at the burly man, lost in thought. She had to admit even from this distance and angle, she could tell Hope had grown well. Lightning cleared her throat to make her presence known.

Hope, jolting from his thoughts, looked over to Lightning. He blinked rapidly and went to speak, but the soldier beat him to the punch.

"You know, if you keep staring at Snow like that, I'm going to have to assume you've got a thing for my sister's fiancé," Lightning stated dryly. She walked over to him as her lips twitched upwards.

The silveret laughed. "Well, he is ruggedly handsome." This caused her to raise a brow. "How long were you there, anyway?"

She shrugged. "Not long." Lightning, reaching up for once, poked Hope in the forehead. "You didn't answer your communicator, so I had to hunt for you." _It's going to take me some time to get used to your new height._

Hope blinked his eyes at the touch. _Well, that was unexpected. It's been awhile, Light. I've really missed you._ "Really? Aw, I'm sorry, Light. I've had it on silence since the meeting."

"Oh, really", Lightning deadpanned. "I heard it went well."

Hope turned to his previous mentor with a confused gaze.

"Sazh and I ran into Maqui in the mess", Lightning simply stated. An understanding expression washed over his face at that. _Glad I can still read you like a book._

"Yeah. He's very enthused about the whole deal. I mean, I am too, but... I have other projects to work on as well." Hope glanced back at the other crystallized forms. "Hey, Light?"

Lightning hummed in response, her eyes still glued upon his form. He was still Hope. There was no doubt about that. He may have looked like a new person, but shades of the old one were still there, even when ignoring his silver hair and captivating emerald eyes. Differences were apparent like how his emotions were much more reigned in and he seemed much more confident in himself. His idiosyncrasies were same as ever though. The kid still acted the same with her as well, showing her much respect while his eyes still shined with unrestrained admiration.

The young director gave her a docile smile. "What was your stasis like?"

Lightning walked over to Serah and placed a hand on her crystal. It brought her comfort to know Serah was there, crystallized or not. She could understand Sazh's sentiment about staying in the building. "Nothing fancy. It was just us. All of us together in Bodhum, as if the fall had never happened. It was peaceful." She looked back at Hope, meeting his intrigued eyes. "Why?"

"It's nothing." He looked back down to the floor in deep thought.

Lightning walked over to him and stood, waiting for him to meet her gaze. She hadn't realized before, but he had deep circles under his eyes, like he hadn't slept in days. _Maker, Hope, you need some serious rest._ Lightning felt extremely concerned for his current state, but could see that Hope had something to get off his chest. "Obviously it's not nothing if you're this lost in your thoughts."

Hope smiled halfheartedly. _Should I? I don't want to get her hopes up about her sister. But she's never been too optimistic before, so maybe it won't matter. Maybe she'll just laugh it off like Rygdea initially had._ "I've been researching crystal stasis and the Maker. For the past two months I've been spending my spare time in the Academy library combing through books until I found one that gave me an idea. An outrageous and unbelievable idea, but a slightly possible one at that." Hope looked up at Lightning. She was staring at him intently, making him a bit uneasy.

 _Those eyes, were they always this intense? Stop it. Stay focused._ "Yes", replied Lightning, trying to recover. She decided that maybe looking at Hope wasn't the best, so she turned back to Serah.

 _Here goes._ "There may be a way for us to wake those in crystal stasis." 


	4. Prophecy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There may be a way for us to wake those in crystal stasis."

Lightning walked around the perimeter just outside Academia, scanning the area. It was only her second day out of stasis, but she had needed something to do. So that morning she had gone to Amodar to go back to work.

He grinned at her as she walked into his office. He said he'd heard that she had woken up and knew it was only a matter of time before she would report in, ready for duty. He had told her that she should take a week, spend some time getting used to the new surroundings. Maybe she should train some, before going out in the field.

Lightning, respectfully, told him that she didn't need any extra training; she was just as sharp as she had been before the fall. Amodar was unconvinced. So her morning started with a few training exercises that went by rather quickly, and then a couple one-on-one matches with some of his 'best soldiers' available at the time. She had to admit, she had gotten a tad rusty. The first few minutes of her first battle had left her a bit panic stricken that she may lose. Her limbs and joints were sore, presumably from years of disuse. She quickly recovered however, regaining her usual speed and agility. The second battle went by with much more ease. At this, Amodar was satisfied. He gave her a new uniform, that was basically the same style but with a black and silver color scheme, and sent her out on guard duty, leaving her to walk the perimeter for the remainder of the day.

It had been hot and muggy with little monster activity for the most part, causing Lightning to retreat into her thoughts. She reflected on her conversation with Hope the previous day, seeing as that had been quite a bombshell of a conversation.

_"There may be a way for us to wake those in crystal stasis."_

* * *

_Those words hit Lightning hard. It had only been a day, so the true gravity of her sister's crystallization hadn't hit her yet. Before, they had thought that all they had to do was beat their focus and she would wake up. They really hadn't been thinking logically or they would have foreseen their impending crystallizations._ The reality is, it could be anywhere between tomorrow and centuries from now.

_After he had said it, he let the words sink in. He just stood there, green eyes carefully watching Lightning's movements._

_Lightning stared at Serah's face, most of her true emotions hidden deep within her. She turned toward him, face utterly impassive, and asked him how._

_"I haven't been able to prove it yet, but that's what Rygdea and Sazh are venturing to do tomorrow. I-", Hope stopped abruptly and looked at Lightning. She had put a hand on Serah's cheek. The serious amount of vulnerability in her eyes led him to stopping, thinking that if he should continue, that expression would only worsen. He hadn't seen that look since Serah had first turned crystal._

_Lightning looked back up at him, sensing his hesitation. She nodded for him to continue, but he just looked away._

_"Maybe this should wait for another time. When we're sure-"_

_"No." Hope looked back up as Lightning's eyes bored into him. Her icy stare was locked on him with determination and impatience. "You don't get to say something like that and just retreat. Spit it out."_

_Hope's hand shakily went to his shoulder, rubbing it slightly as he went to take a tentative step forward, though he thought better of it. "I really shouldn't have said anything. There's nothing concrete to back it up and I-I just... It's really just a theory based on a few months of research."_

_Lightning calmed her thoughts and steeled her expression before walking back toward Hope. "It was enough to send a team out, right?"_

_Hope heaved a heavy sigh and turned away. "It's only because we don't have anything else to go on. It's really this or the alternative of waiting for who knows how long."_

_Lightning wanted to hit him, force his explanation out. But it would definitely not turn out in her favor. Instead she gently grabbed his shoulders and turned him toward her. "I'd like to know", said Lightning calmly._

_Hope bit his lip._ Damn it. I knew I should have kept it to myself. _"I found a book in ancient Pulsian language", Hope began. "I had read through dozens of books before it and had come up with the same line, over and over again. I must have read it in at least six books. It seemed so familiar, but I just couldn't place it until I finally remembered. It was something that Orphan had said." Lightning's eyes darkened. "'From shattered shards, a new crystal legend will arise.' You remember, right, Light?"_

_Honestly, she didn't. Orphan had spouted off so much nonsense, that Lightning had blocked most of it out, hoping it would never be necessary to understand. Lightning just nodded so he would continue._

_"Anyway, this one book had it as an inscription on its cover. The book was titled 'Fabula Nova Crystallis', which translates to 'The Tale of the Crystal'. It spoke of a crystal created by the Maker of Pulse, the Maker of Cocoon, and the Maker of humanity. It was broken into three shards and left around Pulse. It said that with the formation of this crystal, if all three shards were brought together as one, it would give the beholder the power of all three, Pulse, Lindzei, and Etro", Hope drew in a deep breath after he realized he hadn't been breathing._

_Lightning took this opportunity to speak. "So, you think that with this crystal, this power, you could use it to... decrystallize everyone?" She gave him a look of disbelief._

_"Well, it tells of having the power to bring back the Maker of all or Bhunivelze. I'd say it's a fair assumption that it could free those from crystal stasis."_

_Lightning paced around him. "So the secret mission Sazh has is..."_

_Hope gave her a furtive glance, but conceded, wisely. "They're going out to see if they can find one piece of the crystal. We figured the best place to check first is Etro's shrine, since it's closest. And we figure things out from there."_

_"What makes you so sure you'd even be able to control this power?"_

_Hope swallowed and ran a hand roughly through his hair. "Well... the book alluded that it could only be controlled by those touched by the Maker. So, assuming it means l'Cie... that would be... us."_

_Lightning stopped and huffed. Before raging about being stuck with more l'Cie garbage, a question struck her. "But our brands are gone. We don't have our powers." Lightning sighed and put a hand to her forehead before dropping it. "I thought... we weren't... we aren't l'Cie anymore." She shifted her weight to her right leg, and put a hand on her hip._

_"I know." Hope rubbed his eyes, bringing back Lightning's initial worry. "That's why I was so hesitant to tell you. Even if the crystals exist, we would have to find all of them, find a way to put them all together, and find someone to wield it. I guess I'm hoping that maybe just because the brands are gone, and our powers as well, that it doesn't mean some part of it isn't still inside us. Maybe we don't have to currently be l'Cie. Maybe just having been 'touched by the Maker' in the first place is good enough." Hope peered back at Lightning. Her eyes were fixed on his._

_"Hope." Lightning knew it was a long shot. She knew he knew it was a long shot. But he was trying. Trying so desperately to free their friends and all in Cocoon. She couldn't bring herself to drag his thoughts down any further. "If there was anyone who could find a way to free them, it would be you."_

_Hope stared at Lightning in disbelief._ All this time and she still manages to surprise me.

_Lightning tweaked her brow. "Don't look at me like that." She looked back at Serah and the others and walked towards the door. She grabbed the handle, but turned to Hope who was staring at the wall. "Hope", Lightning called. He blinked and turned toward her. "You look exhausted. Go to bed."_

_Hope smirked, "I'm glad you're awake Light. You have no idea how much I've missed you."_

_Lightning was dumbfounded. She knew Hope had looked up to her, but she had no idea that within those few weeks as l'Cie, he'd become so attached. In truth, the feeling was completely mutual. After their rocky start together, they'd actually grown into a powerful team. When she had left him that first time back in the Vile Peaks, it had been because she hadn't wanted him involved. He was just a kid and she figured she would only succeed in getting him killed. But he insisted on following her and, to her immense shock and pleasure, he turned out to be an excellent battle partner._

_Lightning just nodded back and left, her thoughts still consumed by Hope. She continuously found herself thinking of him as that young, vulnerable boy she had known and almost destroyed by encouraging his plot of vengeance._ But he isn't fourteen anymore. He's nineteen, leader of the last of mankind. I can't believe how much I've missed. Not only of this world, but of Hope's life. _Lightning's stomach churned at the realization of just how much she had missed. But she found comfort in the fact that his personality seemed to uphold through his daunting transformation._ That sweet kid is still in there.

* * *

A loud snarl broke through Lightning's thoughts, starkly bringing her back into reality. Lightning bolted toward the sound as a yell was cut short. She rounded a corner to see a guard unconscious at the base of a large rock and faced against a small pack of Gargonopsids.

Lightning ran in front of the fallen soldier and drew her gunblade. The beast at the front snarled and sent a clawing strike at her. She jumped from the spot and shot off three rounds in it's direction. The bullets shot through its head, killing it off instantly. Lightning brought her gunblade up above her shoulder, waiting for the next to make its move. She didn't have to wait long as the last two bounded for her almost instantly. Lightning maneuvered quickly around them and sliced her gunblade deep into one's thick head, causing it to shriek. It fell to the ground as she back flipped away from the other's swipe, but wasn't quick enough. It managed to cut three gashes into her thigh as she landed.

Lightning switched her weapon into gun mode a second too late. The Gargonopsid used its virulent breath on her, sending the poison throughout her body. As it lunged for its final attack, Lightning saw a flash of yellow fly toward the snarling beast. A shock of lightning shot through it, causing it to stagger. Lightning watched the yellow thing, recognizing it to be a boomerang, as it flew towards its owner.

_Hope? What are you doing out here?_

Hope flew to her side and pulled out a gunblade of his own from a holster on his back. He quickly flicked out the blade and slashed the Gargonopsid across the throat. It let out on final yelp before landing on the ground.

The world became hazy before the pinkette. Lightning fell to her knees, feeling the full effect of the poison.

"Lightning", Hope cried. Her skin began paling quickly and she was unresponsive.

As she knelt there, she felt her skin flare up, sweat beaded on the back of her neck, and her heart was rapidly shutting down. Each beat passed slower than the last. She recognized the feeling, though she definitely did not welcome it.

Hope knew how swift the poison was. Death was almost instantaneous and always left only a few minutes of breathing room. Swiftly yanking out an antidote from his pouch, he handed it over to her. She drank it and waited as the calm washed over her, relieving the pain of the poison.

"Thanks", said Lightning as she stood. She hissed at the feeling of the gashes in her thigh. "Well this is embarrassing. Can't even take on a few Gargonopsids."

Hope winced at the look of her leg. "You should sit down, Light. That doesn't look good." He went to help her with her wound as she sat down on a boulder.

"You should check on him first." Lightning gestured to the soldier on the ground.

"Right." Hope reluctantly left her side and looked over the soldier.

_A gunblade Hope? I guess I didn't expect you to be using the boomerang forever, but..._

Hope checked the soldier's pulse. It and his breathing were steady. He seemed to only be unconscious, but with another look Hope noticed his arm at a bad angle. _It's probably broken, but it could have been a lot worse. Glad I came when I did._ He looked over at Lightning. She was staring at the Gargonopsid on the ground. Hope went for his comm and called for a medic team on the south side of Academia where they were located. He then went over to look at Lightning's wound.

"You okay, Light?" When she didn't respond, he knelt in front of her and cupped her face with his hands, gazing intently in her eyes.

This not only knocked Lightning out of her state, but made her heart flutter slightly. Her body went rigid before she shook his hands off. "Really it's fine. I'm fine." He continued looking her over for other injuries, ignoring her words. "Really, Hope, I'm fine." She stood to make her point and tried to deflect the conversation elsewhere. "When did you start using a gunblade anyway?" She pulled it out of his holster and looked it over. It was a few inches longer than hers, but mostly had the same build. She went to switch modes and was shocked at how effortless the transformation was. Lightning smirked. "I guess you did grow out of the toy, huh? Well, not completely", said Lightning, referencing its earlier use.

Hope chuckled, "I still use the _toy_ on occasion, obviously. It comes in handy for far enemies, but is definitely not meant for close combat. So I started training with this. I've made a lot of my own improvements on it though." He took the blade from her hand and holstered it. "I'm not nearly as proficient with it as you, but who is?" Hope smiled smugly. Lightning just rolled her eyes, ignoring the warmth that seemed to surge through her body at his compliment.

The medics arrived soon after and rushed the unconscious soldier off to the hospital. Lightning though, ignoring Hope's protests, refused to go anywhere, so the medics just bandaged her up and left. _Maker, she can be so stubborn._

Dusk was fast approaching and Hope felt the need to reiterate his concerns. "Light, you really should have gone with them. Wha-"

Lightning put a finger to his lips. "It's sweet that you care so much, but it's fine. Seriously. Don't you have some work to be getting to?"

He grinned at her before putting on a dejected expression. "Aw, you're in stasis for five years and I finally get to spend some time with you, and you want me to leave", Hope whined. "Fine." His shoulders slumped as he blew out a sigh. "I see how it is." He walked away a few steps, but Lightning grabbed his jacket.

"Why were you out here?"

Hope swallowed and turned around. "I came out to check on you. You know, it... was your first day back on the job..." Lightning crossed her arms "...and I..." He turned a dark shade of pink and coughed. Before he could say anything else, Alyssa came ambling up behind him.

"Director", exclaimed Alyssa, exasperated. "I just found out what happened." She put her hands on her hips. "How did you get away from the guards?"

Lightning glanced at Hope with confusion.

"Bodyguards", said Hope, rolling his eyes. "Honestly, Alyssa, they're unnecessary. Especially if I can slip passed them unnoticed."

Alyssa looked them over carefully and gasped at Lightning's bandaged leg. She arrested Hope's arm and started to drag him back to base. "It's not safe out here."

"Alright, alright", Hope yielded. He wrestled his arm free and looked back at Lightning. "You comin', Light?"

Lightning nodded. "In a bit."

Hope laughed as he turned and walked back towards base with Alyssa. "Just don't wait too long. Wouldn't wanna have to be rescued again", Hope yelled over his shoulder before taking off at a brisk pace, Alyssa trailing behind him.

Lightning went wide-eyed at the statement and scowled at his retreating form. _When did he get so damn cocky? And is it just me or is Alyssa a tad clingy? Oh, like it matters. He's not a kid anymore. That's for sure._ Lightning shook her head _. He can do what he wants. But when did he get the nerve to tease me?_ Lightning sighed and began walking back to the base when the soldier to replace her came.

* * *

The crystal Cocoon towered over Academia, the last of the sun reflecting off it just slightly. She stopped, staring at the world before her. Her heart felt heavy as a plethora of emotions struck her. "I'm sorry", Lightning whispered. She continued forward as memories of Vanille and Fang flooded her mind. Vanille, with her relentlessly sunny disposition. Fang, with her incredible fearlessness and strength that even she could not match. Although her time with the Oerban women was short, they had made a huge impact on her life, just as the others had.

Her reminiscing led her thoughts back to her stasis dreams where she had had so many simple days of laughter and love. _Now what is there? Hope's working himself to death, Fang and Vanille are trapped with the weight of the world on their shoulders, literally, And Serah is still-_ She couldn't finish that thought. All it did was cause all of her old guilt and regrets to emerge from the depths of her emotions. She felt so despicable for not believing her sister about being a l'Cie. The moment Serah had told her, Lightning had basically called her a target. _How could I have said such things? How could she ever forgive me?_ For the briefest of seconds, Lightning was grateful Serah was a crystal. She didn't want to know how her sister would feel towards her, if she would even want to speak with her. Lightning shuddered at the thought and cut herself off there. _No, I want my sister with me. I want her awake. Even if she hated me until the end of time... I miss her._ A small tear fell slowly down her cheek.

About a mile into the city, she heard a scream, and sped to its origin. She was alarmed, knowing that there would most likely be no one there to help her considering the scream came from a rather desolate part of the city.

Not five minutes later, just on the outskirts of town by a building currently under construction, Lightning came upon a young girl on the ground. Lightning quickly ran to her and knelt down, taking in her appearance. She couldn't have been older than a teenager. _She actually seems about Serah's age._ The girl had dulling, innocent green eyes that looked completely terrified. Long, dark, coral blue hair framed a pale heart-shaped face. Her tattered white and purple outfit was stained with blood and dirt. The most disturbing observation that Lightning made was the multiple cuts, bruises and burns on her body. The girl's breathing was labored and as Lightning held her hand, the soldier found that her pulse was extremely weak.

Not knowing the number for the hospital, she quickly called Hope. She told him her location and to call a med team. When she hung up, she turned back to the girl, gripping onto her with uncertainty. The blunette's breathing was slowing and her consciousness was slowly fading.

"Hold on, someone's coming to help you. Can you tell me your name?" Lightning brought her up into her arms, attempting to keep her awake.

The girl looked up to her, her eyelids fluttering before she focused on the woman holding her. She attempted to speak, but instead let out a number of harsh coughs into her hand. Blood slowly dripped from her paling lips and into her battered hand. "It's Yeul", she choked. After her reply, she gasped, her eyes flashing.

"Just hold on." Lightning was trying desperately to help, but felt utterly powerless. She looked around, eyes frantically searching for someone, anyone that could help. A part of her wished for her l'Cie powers, having the ability to cure being unbearably appealing. Right then, Lightning realized how vulnerable and alone she was. She had no powers and Odin's presence was no longer inside her. All she could do was comfort the dying girl in her arms and pray that the med team would reach them soon.

Yeul gave her one last look, trembling slightly before jerking forward and grabbing Lightning's face tightly with both of her calloused, yet gentle hands. Fiery green orbs looked directly into Lightning's eyes as the girl spoke in a hushed whisper, "Only through his suffering, can humanity prevail."

Lightning's brow furrowed in response. "What..." No more words were spoken before the young woman went limp. Yeul's arms fell to her sides as her breathing abruptly stopped. Lightning shook her lightly, hoping to rouse some sort of response. She couldn't just die. _Not like this._ "Who?" But Yeul was gone, her body laid lifeless in Lightning's arms.


	5. Unspoken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Only through his suffering, can humanity prevail."

Rain fell softly over the scene. Yeul's body laid still on the ground, rain slowly washing away the blood from her skin. Lightning brought her knees up under her chin, hugging them, trying to process the whole event while millions of questions blasted through her mind. _Where does... did she come from? Why was she out here? What could have attacked her? Those wounds... was it a person? Does she have a family?_ But the biggest questions that held her mind captive were, _What did she mean? Who's suffering? How would she..._ Lightning looked over Yeul once more. Her face was serene, innocent. It was a stark contrast to the wounds that marred her body. Lightning couldn't help but feel a sharp pain in her gut. _Her face... she looks so much like..._

* * *

The minute Hope had heard her voice, he felt his stomach in his throat. Lightning was quickly, breathily, telling him that she had found a girl horribly wounded. That she needed help. He turned to Alyssa immediately, telling her to call a med team and gave her Lightning's location. He then went to ask Lightning what happened. _What on Pulse could have happened in the past twenty minutes since I last saw her?_ But she had hung up. Suddenly, Hope bolted from his spot.

Alyssa, still dialing the number, yelled toward Hope. "What are you doing? It's not safe. You don't know what-"

Hope stopped and yelled back. "Just keep calling, Alyssa. I'll be fine." He continued running, knowing that if anything happened to Lightning, after he'd just gotten her back, he'd never forgive himself.

Rain began to mist over pulse. Ten minutes in, his lungs began burning, begging him to stop, but he kept going. He wasn't going to let anyone else close to him get hurt. _I can't lose anyone else._

Hope finally came upon the half built building, and as much as his body protested, he ran faster. As he rounded the building, he saw Lightning sitting curled up in front of a body on the ground. He stopped next to her, hunching over, and gulped in air. He struggled to speak, but his lungs were too starved. After a few moments Hope managed to let out a breathy, "What happened", and knelt beside Lightning.

Lightning didn't look at him and instead continued staring at the body before her. He leaned over the girl, intending to check her pulse, but Lightning grabbed his wrist.

"She's dead", stated Lightning plainly, before letting him go.

Hope looked over the young woman. It looked like she had been brutally tortured. His first thought, after he had been called, was that it had been another monster attack, but this... _This was done by a human. A different kind of monster entirely._ He turned from her to Lightning. She was still, her face blank, reminding him of the stoic soldier she always pretended to be. There was blood smeared on her front along with her hands and her face. He deduced it was the girl's since Lightning didn't appear to be hurt. He put a hand on her shoulder, feeling her shiver at his touch. "Light, are you alright?"

She had barely registered Hope's presence beside her. When he had reached over Yeul, she had grabbed him out of a sudden impulse. It just didn't seem right to disturb Yeul's body. Enough had been done to her. After telling him, she let him go, her mind registering the action. She curled back up, falling back into her mind and the short span of events leading to her present state.

Hope's question didn't quite find her until minutes after its utterance. She turned toward him. He kept silent, but his eyes pleaded with her to give him answers. "I couldn't help her." Lightning shuddered at the sound of her voice. She sounded so weak. _No. This isn't you. You don't sound like this. Not ever._

Hope couldn't believe it. Although her face was a dull mask, her voice held something different entirely. _What happened?_

Lightning collected herself and stood. Hope followed and locked his gaze with hers. "I heard a scream. She was laying on the ground when I found her. She died shortly after I called."

Hope swallowed. Her voice was devoid of emotion. Before he could reply, the med team arrived, followed by a Guardian Corps car and a few soldiers on cycles. Any more questions would have to wait.

* * *

Three hours had passed. Lightning, Hope, and Alyssa had given their statements. They now sat together in a small room in G.C. headquarters, encompassed in silence. Lightning sat in a chair and stared at the coffee in her hands that had long since turned cold. Hope sat across from her on an old, small couch, glancing at her every once in a while, hoping to catch her attention. His rain soaked clothes caused him to shiver, but he ignored it. Alyssa sat on the other end of the couch, fidgeting with nervous energy.

Hope tried to invade Lightning's mind as she sat there, but seeing as she was expressionless, reading her thoughts was proving to be difficult. Other than her brief overview of events before the other soldiers had arrived, she hadn't spoken another word to him. He knew nothing more of the situation other than what he saw, and it was driving him nuts. He wanted to talk with her about something-anything to make sure she was okay. The direct approach was out of the question. The minute he would ask, she'd shut him down with a curt reply of 'Everything's fine' or 'I'm alright' even though he knew she wasn't. He wasn't entirely sure why they were still there, but he knew they'd be speaking with more people and wished they would have been allowed to clean up a bit first. And that's when an idea struck him.

Lightning spaced out for most of the time they were in the room. She was grateful for the quiet and the end of the extensive questioning. Although she could see in her peripheral vision that Hope was attempting to catch her attention with his eyes. She wasn't quite ready to speak with him yet. He'd seen too much of her vulnerability. He'd come to help her before she'd had time to build up her shield and it irritated her.

Just when she thought that she might be able to get through the rest of the day without having to explain herself to him, he stood. Hope walked over in front of her, knelt down, and pulled something from his pocket. In his hand was his old green and black bandana from their l'Cie days. _He kept that old thing._ He looked up at her with uncertainty and offered it to her.

"You have some-some blood on your face." Slight shock set into her expression as she slid her fingertips across her cheek, feeling the slowly crusting blood that covered it. She smiled at him, knowing that it turned out as more of a grimace, and took the cloth from his hand.

Alyssa quickly bounced up. "Oh, here." She wrestled in her pouch for a brief moment, smiling at Lightning and walked toward her holding a compact. "You can use the mirror", Alyssa suggested.

Lightning gratefully took it from her palm, "Thanks", and began wiping off her face. After she had finished, she handed Alyssa back her compact and looked back down at Hope. "I'll get this cleaned up and return it to you. Okay?"

Hope stood and replied, "No problem, Light", before running a hand through his hair. He was about to speak when a soldier, one he knew personally, came in.

They all rose as she entered and the woman nodded at those in the room in front of her. "Director, Sergeant Farron, if you'll come with me, please." She turned toward Alyssa with a practiced smile, "You are free to go."

"Um... alright", Alyssa replied and turned to Hope, waiting for instruction.

He looked to the soldier in front of him. "La Salle, how long will this take?"

"I wasn't informed."

Hope's expression tensed. "Alyssa... just hold the fort 'til I get back." He gave her a small smile before turning his gaze back.

"Of course, Director." She smiled sweetly and left.

Hope turned back to La Salle once it was just them. "Okay, Nivien, what's this about? Why have we been waiting for-"

Lightning walked forward. "Are you two friends?"

Hope bit his lip and rubbed the back of his neck, mentally slapping himself for letting the soldier's first name slip from his mouth.

"Yes", replied Nivien, glancing at Hope. She held out her hand to Lightning. "Lieutenant Nivien La Salle."

Lightning shook her hand, feeling a firm grip. La Salle was a dark skinned woman with vivid, brown hair tied back in a small, professional ponytail. Her hazel eyes were intense while holding slight exhaustion. She was about an inch shy of her own height and looked to be in her early to mid-twenties.

Nivien folded her hands behind her back and looked to Hope. "It has to do with the young woman, but the general has been dealing with some other business. I was sent to collect you so you could speak with him." At that she turned and walked down the hall, Hope and Lightning trailing after.

Hope shook his head. He figured he should smooth some things over with light conversation. "All business today, La Salle? It's been what... a month since we've spoken?"

"Two... actually." Nivien glanced at him, a small scowl produced on her features as he came up beside her. "But we're busy people, right", Nivien muttered.

Hope clamped his teeth down on the side of his cheek, wary of saying anything wrong, or anything too personal in front of Lightning. _I didn't know she had felt this agitated. It was so long ago, I thought it was best to just let it lie._

Lightning watched the two's interaction from behind, slightly amused, yet unsettled by it. It was obvious they had history, what kind... she could only guess.

As they continued through the halls, Lightning thought about her first day back on the job and how utterly horrible it had turned out to be _. I got clawed by a beast, had to be rescued by Hope, and was completely unable to save that girl. Great job, Farron. What a perfect soldier you are._

They were led into a large conference room. There was a giant, oval-shaped, oak table that occupied most of the space, accompanied by several chairs around it. Lightning and Hope took their seats across from each other. Nivien walked over to a small table in the corner that held a coffee pot and some paper cups. She poured two cups of coffee and walked back to the table, handing Lightning her cup first.

"Um... thank you, Lieutenant." Lightning felt odd and uncomfortable at having a superior officer fetching her coffee.

Nivien flashed her a small, trained smile, "No problem, Sergeant". She walked over behind Hope and put the coffee down in front of him, jerking him forward into the table as she leaned over his chair.

Hope's jaw slackened. He quickly recovered and turned to Nivien, but she was already walking toward the door.

"I know it can't be easy to refrain from working for so long, but hopefully the general knows not to keep the busy _d_ _irector_ waiting." Lightning's eyebrows rose as Hope looked at the lieutenant's back in shock. But without so much as a glance back, Nivien left the room, satisfied.

Lightning's curiosity had officially been peeked. She turned back to see Hope still staring at the door with a mixture of awe and confusion. He looked back at the table biting his lip. In the course of the next few minutes, Hope's eyes danced all around the room, while never falling on Lightning.

Hope couldn't believe that Nivien would do something like that, at work, in front of a fellow soldier. She was always so professional on duty. It only caused him to worry even more about what he could have done.

Lightning, growing tired of the deafening quiet, decided to speak. "Okay, what was that all about?"

Hope cast his eyes warily over her, clenching his jaw. "Really, it's nothing." He rubbed his forehead while Lightning crossed her arms over her stomach.

"Hope, I'm not stupid."

Before Hope could answer, General Amodar came in. The two stood, Lightning saluting to the general. He smiled and shook her's and Hope's hands before motioning for them to sit down. "I'm terribly sorry for keeping you waiting", Amodar started, sitting at the head of the table across from the door. "It's well into the night, but we have some things to discuss before we can hit the hay."

Hope smiled meekly. "Of course, General, really it's no trouble."

Amodar turned to Lightning. "How are you, Farron? You had quite a tough day."

"I'm fine, sir. I'm very sorry for-"

"You have nothing to apologize for. You did your job", said Amodar, cutting her off. A knock on the door caught everyone's attention then. "Come in", he bellowed. A short slender man, with a receding hairline walked into the room. He had on bulky horn-rimmed glasses and a long white coat over his outfit. He held a brown file in his hand that he was clutching onto rather harshly. "Ah, thanks for coming, Torkin." The man took a seat at the other end of the table, across from Amodar. The General gestured over at the room's occupants, "This is Sergeant Lightning Farron and I'm sure you've heard of Director Hope Estheim." Torkin looked over at Hope in amazement. "And this is Viktor Torkin, Chief Medical Examiner."

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance", Hope greeted. "Although..." He turned toward Amodar with a questioning expression, "...I thought Carline Abernathy was the-"

"She was, but she retired a few weeks ago. Torkin was recently promoted to her position", replied Amodar gruffly.

"Well in that case, congratulations, Dr. Torkin." Hope stood to shake his hand.

Torkin quickly got up and excitedly accepted the gesture, shaking Hope's hand vigorously. "Please, call me Viktor. It's an honor, a true honor to meet you, Director."

Lightning looked at the elated man with amusement. _Apparently, Alyssa was right. He is admired by many. Even by those that operate on dead people._

Hope just laughed, "Call me Hope."

They both took their seats as Amodar cleared his throat, "Right, well..." He shifted in his chair. "We have started an investigation into the young woman, but seeing as it's only been roughly over three hours, we haven't yielded many results. Only time will tell. Hopefully someone missing the poor girl will be searching for her. Until then, we shall investigate what might have happened in the events leading to her death." He coughed once and continued. "I asked Dr. Torkin to examine her body as quickly as possible and meet with us." Amodar then gestured toward the balding man, signaling him to speak.

It took Torkin a few moments to realize this, but he soon set his file on the table and shakily opened it. "Yes... um..." Torkin looked up nervously and cleared his throat. "The young woman was most definitely tortured. She-she had multiple deep lacerations made by a seven and a quarter inch serrated blade along with several smaller cuts caused by a three inch knife. Many burns were also on her body. By the marks..." Torkin paused and quirked a brow"... they seemed to have been inflicted by a... a-hand." Torkin looked up to see many confused gazes. It had confused him as well, but it was also positively intriguing.

"She also had several electrical burns. There were about fourteen bruises from her torso to her ankles. Three fingernails were ripped from her right hand on her thumb, forefinger and pinky. I was also able to determine, by the severe dehydration and lack of vitamin D in her system, that she has been possibly held captive for weeks. The abrasions on her knees and feet were deep, but fresh, so she had most likely gotten those after she had escaped or after having been let go. The extent of the abrasions shows that she could have been running for miles." After his conclusion, the room was silent.

Lightning's lips had parted and her eyes were glued to the table. She was horrified. Although she had known that the girl must have endured some serious trauma, she hadn't known just how much agony she had been put through.

Hope's expression was pained. He couldn't bear to think of the terrors the young woman had suffered. The thoughts of that girl, that seemed to be just younger than him, being tortured, enraged him.

Torkin closed the file. "We aren't finished with the examination... not by a long shot, but I will have more results for you by tomorrow afternoon." With that he stood.

"Thank you", said Amodar, "for your quick report. I'm shocked you could find so much in such a short amount of time."

The man beamed, adjusting his glasses. "Well, the report is far from complete...", Torkin replied bashfully, "But I am a fast worker."

"May I have a copy of your current file", Amodar inquired.

Torkin jumped and quickly slid the file toward him. "Of course, brought that one just for you. Um... it was a sincere pleasure to meet you... Hope and-" He turned to Lightning, taking a few moments to contemplate her name. "Farron, was it?"

Lightning sighed inwardly. "Yes. It was nice to meet you too."

Hope smiled, "Don't work too hard. I hope to see you again sometime soon, just... under far better circumstances."

"Of course." He then nodded to Amodar. "General."

"Doctor", replied Amodar, nodding back as Torkin left the room. Amodar then opened the file and sifted through its thin contents, mostly pictures, and grimaced. "So, Farron, I know you already went through this, but if you wouldn't mind going over the events again..."

Lightning sat up straighter, which you wouldn't think was even possible by her already perfect posture, and spoke, "Of course."

Hope tensed. He was eager to know the full story, but he was also a bit reluctant. He knew that whatever had happened, had shaken Lightning. And that wasn't something to take lightly. Amodar was staring at her intently, so Hope cast his eyes toward his hands, feeling that she didn't really need two sets of eyes on her during her recollection.

"I was walking back to base after my shift ended and-"

Amodar cut in gently, "This was after the Gargonopsid incident with Estheim, correct?"

"Yes, sir. He had already headed back to base before me. Anyway, as I was walking back, I heard a scream. I ran toward it and I found the girl on the ground." Her words caught just slightly, but she quickly resumed, her voice wiped of emotion. "I didn't have the number for the hospital, so I called Hope, gave him my location, and told him to call a med team. She looked like she was in incredible pain so I told her that someone was coming... and I asked her for her name but-"

"Did you ask her what happened? How she got there?"

Lightning was irritated at being interrupted yet again, but remained calm. _He's my superior... and this is Amodar... he's just trying to be thorough._ "No, she could barely get out her name, so I didn't press for anything else."

Amodar glanced over at Hope, who seemed to be consumed by his hands, and nodded. "Continue."

"She said her name was Yeul."

Hope's eyes darted up to Lightning, feeling the name to be eerily familiar. He didn't say anything, but he delved into his mind trying to figure out where he'd heard the name before whilst listening to Lightning's words.

"She was quiet for a few seconds but it was like..." Lightning knitted her brow, trying to find the right words, "like something struck her. Her body stiffened as she gasped. The next thing I knew she had her hands on my face and she was... whispering... to me." Lightning had gotten quiet, but no one said a word. "She said 'Only through his suffering, can humanity prevail'. Then she was... gone." Lightning brought her eyes back up from the table to meet Amodar's tentative gaze.

Amodar rested his elbows on the table, folded his hands, and rested his chin on his steepled fingers. "Those... words were her very last?"

"Yes, sir. The way she had said it though... it was so... definite... like it was some sort of-"

Hope jumped up from his seat, startling Lightning and the general and blurted, "Prophecy". The realization had finally jostled the memory from the back of his mind, making Hope extremely happy, but also making him seem a tad too eager. He composed himself and sat down, awaiting Lightning's continuance.

She gave him a baffled look and nodded. The general turned to Hope. "Something you'd like to share?"

"Actually, yes. There was something else I read about when I was researching the crystals." Hope stopped, considering how to explain his revelation. "The... Yeul-she... her clothes didn't look customary for neither Academia nor Sanctum City. In fact they looked-"

"Pulsian", spoke Lightning.

"Yes. In several books I've come across, there were many references to one of the oldest known tribes on Pulse, the Farseers. They lived long before the War of Transgression and may possibly still be alive today since they became nomadic shortly before the war occurred." He stopped and heavily sighed before moving forward. "Throughout all of the generations in the Farseer tribe, their leader was always Yeul. She was a young woman - a seeress that had visions. These visions were prophecies of events to come. This foresight however, has a consequence." Hope swallowed. "The visions ultimately kill Yeul, but she is then reborn into the tribe, to rule again."

Amodar leaned back in his chair, pondering the information. "And you think that this girl is her? This... Yeul from the Farseer tribe?"

"It's quite possible. Although it begs the question of how someone would get a hold of her. Yeul always had a guardian..." He brought a hand to his chin. "I'm certain from what I remember of what I've read... her guardian was always a l'Cie with their focus solely set on the protection of her. Also why would someone even want to torture her... for her visions?"

"So, whoever took her had to have been powerful enough to battle a l'Cie", said Lightning. "Not to mention said l'Cie would give all they have into her protection, knowing their own life is on the line."

Amodar wasn't entirely convinced by it all, but if no future information contradicted their hypothesis, then it very well could have been just as Hope guessed. "So if it was her... then what she said very well could have been a prophecy. So someone's... suffering, other than this girl's of course, will provide our race with victory? In some unknown way?"

Lightning sighed. "And this is why I really dislike all this magic crap. Suffering people, cryptic prophecies, nothing good comes out of it."

Hope gave her a crooked grin knowing full well that Lightning was not fond of anything of the magic variety.

Amodar stood and looked to Hope. "How should we handle this", asked Amodar.

That question threw Lightning off. It was not the question per se, but the inquirer and the receiver. Lightning finally understood how high Hope's position was. He could not only command her, but Amodar, and pretty much anyone else in all of Academia. Hope really was their leader.

Hope bit his lip before answering, "I think that we should investigate what we can. Dr. Torkin can see if there is anything on his end that can identify her origin. We can put her picture up on the news in case she is from here and someone recognizes her. Also we should send Hildough to Sanctum City. Make sure she isn't from there either, and see if they know anything about this."

Amodar nodded. "And if they do but deny any involvement?"

Hope cocked his head to the left, considering his question. It was very likely, considering they rarely cooperated, even with a proven non l'Cie and a reasonable man such as Hildough. "Then at least we tried. As for the prophecy... well, I'll do some more digging on the Farseers and their leader. However, as much as I really dislike the thought of waiting until something happens, we are probably going to have to do just that."

Amodar walked over to the young Director and squeezed his shoulder in reassurance. "Well, alright. I'll see you sometime soon then." He shook Hope's hand. "And I'll see you in a few days, Farron." She went to protest, but was curtly interrupted. "I won't hear it, Farron. You had quite an eventful day. Rest up. You've got a four day leave as of now. Goodnight you two." With that, he was out the door.

Hope and Lightning stood just as Nivien walked into the room. "Your car is here, sir." She glanced at Lightning, "I can have a cab called for you if you'd like?"

Lightning shook her head. "It's alright. I'll just walk."

"Are you sure", asked Nivien. "It's quite a long walk back to the Academy base."

"It's fine."

As soon as they walked out of the building, Hope grabbed Lightning's shoulder gently. "You know I'm not going to let you walk all the way back to base?"

Lightning put a hand on her hip. "And how exactly are you going to stop me?"

Hope just smiled and put his hands up in surrender, shaking his head. "You got me there. Guess I'm just going to have to walk with you."

"Hope." She looked at his smug smile and knew he wasn't backing down. "Fine", Lightning acquiesced.

He walked over to the car and pulled open the door before bowing, "After you, milady."

Lightning rolled her eyes and walked towards him, ruffling his hair before getting in the car.

* * *

For the first ten minutes, the ride was silent. Lightning gazed out the window as the town passed by. Hope stared at the back of his driver's seat, thinking about everything on his agenda for the night, before he could even think about sleep. He glanced over at Lightning, his thoughts turning to the day's past events and Lightning's reaction to it all.

As Hope opened his mouth to speak, Lightning asked, "Who's Hildough".

Hope clamped his mouth shut. Lightning continued watching the world fly by out her window, awaiting an answer. "He's like our Ambassador. Reuben Hildough is the representative of Academia. We usually have him deal with any affairs involving the Sanctum City."

Lightning remained quiet. Hope clenched his jaw before moving on. "Light... I would like to know something." She didn't look at him or make any indication that she'd heard him. He pressed on. "What really happened today?"

She blew out a sigh before considering an answer. She had already told him and Amodar everything that had occurred, but she knew that wasn't really what he was referring to. "I already told you everything that happened."

"You know that's not what I-"

"It was nothing."

He rubbed his gloved hands on his thighs, fully aware that she wasn't going to want to continue, but something inside him compelled him to press the issue.

The car pulled to a stop in front of the Academy building. She reached for the door handle but was stopped by Hope as he grabbed her upper arm. "Please, Light? I just want to help."

She wrenched her arm out of his grip roughly. "Stop it, Hope", Lightning warned. "It's not your problem and it's nothing you can fix." Her voice was dripping with agitation, but nevertheless he ploughed on.

"I-"

"Just stop, okay?"

She turned toward him, and Hope was taken aback. Not only by her harsh tone, but her pained expression. Her eyes were pink and puffy, like she had been silently crying the whole ride back.

"Just leave it be." She threw the door open, jumped out of the car, and slammed the door shut. Lightning was fuming with anger, although she wasn't quite sure why. Yes, she was mad at Hope. But for what? He was only being a concerned friend, but he just wouldn't back off. _I didn't want to go through it all with him. It's not important. He most certainly doesn't need to hear me whine when he's got so much to handle. And I never wanted him to see that..._ She had tried so hard to hide her emotions from him. She didn't want him to know how affected she'd been by seeing Yeul's death, but some part of her thought that just maybe... she did.

Lightning huffed and got into the elevator. She went to press the button for the sixth floor where her small apartment was located, but quickly decided on going to the fourth to visit her sister.

She stepped into the quiet room and stopped, staring at the crystal forms. After shutting the door, she immediately went to her sister's side. Kneeling down, she clutched onto Serah's crystal, sharp nails scraping against it, as if doubting that she was really there. She felt the cool crystal under her fingertips and wished desperately that Serah would wake up. She wanted to hug her sister, feel her warmth instead of this icy, hard hand. A few tears slipped through her eyelids. She knew full well that someone could be watching the room through the camera on the ceiling, but she couldn't care less.

"I'm so sorry, Serah. I'm supposed to be strong, not this sappy mess." Lightning shook her head. "I'm a soldier god dammit! I've seen plenty of death. But... this..." She choked on her words, hating herself even more. "It was just too much. She looked so much like... I thought I'd lost you, Serah." She glanced up at Serah's glowing face. "For a moment there, I thought she was you. Just, please come back, Serah", Lightning pleaded. "I need my sister. I need you." She could no longer speak as she stifled her sobs in her hands. Serah had to wake up.

* * *

By the time Lightning left the stasis room, it was almost one o'clock in the morning. She rubbed her eyelids which now from the crying coupled with her fatigue, felt like lead weights. She made her way to her room, but stopped a few feet away. Sitting on the ground against the wall beside her door was Hope, asleep.

He looked so peaceful, his face tranquil. Her mind suddenly thrust her back to their first journey together alone. Him sleeping against a rock, trusting Lightning, who was basically a complete stranger, to watch out for him while he slept.

She hated having to wake him up, but she knew he'd been there to see her. He probably figured she just wouldn't let him inside and had ignored him. Lightning's stomach lurched, realizing just how concerned and worried she'd made him. She bent down, brushing her hand against his cheek. "Hope." His eyes fluttered open before bulging. He quickly jumped up from his position.

"S-sorry Light", Hope stammered. "I-I was-s just..."

Lightning leapt up and walked to her door, unlocking it while ignoring her stuttering companion. "Just come in already."

Hope nodded and walked in after her, closing the door behind himself. He looked over to the side, noticing the broken lamp on the floor, and looked at Lightning questioningly.

Lightning sighed. She hadn't remembered the lamp, when she'd let Hope in. She'd neglected picking it up the night before, not wanting to deal with the mess her anger had caused. And again this morning she let it remain in its state, wanting nothing more than to get back to work. "I got a little mad yesterday." Lightning flipped on the light switch and flopped onto the couch.

"Poor lamp", said Hope, trying to ease the tension.

Lightning was tired. Physically and emotionally drained was more like it. She was in no mood to dance around the issue. "How long were you out there?"

Hope sat beside her, his concerned gaze unwavering from the woman beside him. "Since we got back."

"I wasn't here." He looked at her half-expectantly. Lightning had wanted to just come home and forget the anguish she'd put herself through, but she figured she might as well tell him. She knew he would still want to know what had been wrong with her. He'd done nothing but help her, support her, and be kind to her since she'd woken up. _Hell, almost since we met._ He deserved an explanation for her bitterness toward him previously.

Hope rubbed his right eye. "Look, Light, I'm sorry. I-"

"Save it. I'm the one who should apologize. I treated you like dirt for doing absolutely nothing to me. I was just... trying to forget it all." She averted her gaze from him, wanting to just be done with the conversation already. Talking about feelings made her uncomfortable. _Slashing and hacking through monsters would be preferrable._

Hope put his hand over hers. "Forget what, Light?"

Lightning took his hand in hers, the quick action startling Hope. "You know it's not easy for me to... express myself. So when you kept insisting I just snapped." She looked back over to him, but still didn't meet his eyes. "I know you were just curious and worried, but I didn't want to talk about it."

He squeezed her hand, reassuring her that he was there to listen to whatever she had to say. "It's alright. I shouldn't have pressed you. Do you still not want to talk about it?" He shifted slightly, trying to meet her gaze.

Lightning rubbed the bridge of her nose with her free hand. "It was nothing, really. Just, that girl... Yeul, she... reminded me of..."

"Serah", Hope finished, wishing he would have realized it sooner.

"Yes. I thought that I'd failed her, again. I felt I couldn't protect her."

Hope grasped Lightning's chin and turned her to face him. He searched his mind for the right words to help reassure her. "You did protect her. Serah is safe, crystallized, but safe. Thanks to you, she will wake up to a new world that will welcome her instead of threaten her."

Lightning's lips curled into a small smile. "You mean, thanks to us."

He chuckled lightly, "Yeah." Hope moved his hand away from her chin and brushed a few of stray hairs behind her ear.

Lightning blinked in surprise, but quickly rid herself of the expression. She got up and stretched, her muscles losing some of the built up tension. "Well all this moping and arguing has been fun and all, but I think it's about time for some sleep. How about you?"

Hope slowly got up and rubbed some sleep from his eye, yawning. "Not me. I've got a lot I have to get done. Too much work, not enough time. Sleep can wait." He began walking to the door, but was stopped by Lightning's arm.

"Sorry, Director, but your duties can wait. You look like your eyes are going to roll out of their sockets." She stood in front of him, barring him from the door.

Hope let out a throaty laugh. "Well thanks for the compliment, Light. I really appreciate it. But seriously, I have to-" Lightning pushed him back down to the couch.

"If you're going to insist on being stubborn, then I guess you're sleeping here. Where I can keep my eye on you."

"But, Light..." Hope whined.

Lightning grabbed a spare blanket from the closet and threw it at his face. "Nope." Hope pushed the blanket off of himself and crossed his arms, sulking.

Lightning put her hands on her hips. "Don't be petulant. It's bedtime, young man."

He couldn't help but laugh. "Did this really work on Serah?"

She smirked and rolled her eyes. "Serah actually minded me. Well... most of the time." Lightning's expression softened as she remembered all of the times her baby sister had whined, pleaded, and begged her to let her stay up. Most times were futile efforts, but on some occasions, Serah would give her that sweet, innocent, pleading expression, that Hope had down to a tee, and she would have no other choice than to give in.

Hope laid down and wrapped the blanket around himself. "Fine, I concede. But you have to sleep too."

Lightning walked over to her room. "Well of course. Goodnight, Hope", she said as she switched off the light.

"Night", Hope mumbled, already drifting off to sleep.

It was comforting, his presence. She wasn't sure how, but Hope had carved himself a special place in her heart. Considering the small time frame that he had known her, it seemed almost unreal. Although, thinking back to all of the things they had gone through, the rough times they'd endured, it wasn't all that surprising. She knew she probably wouldn't be as close with any other person, besides her sister. She still had so much to learn about him. And she knew she would have to share much more about herself as well. There were many things she needed to say to him, but they would remain unspoken for now. She had confessed enough for one night. Taking one last glance at his sleeping form, she slipped into her room quietly.

She looked into the tall mirror that stood beside her desk, seeing her disheveled self. Blood and dirt marked her clothes, her skin was grimier than ever, but her face was much cleaner thanks to Hope's kindness. He'd helped her out once again. She took the bandana out of her pouch and began tracing the patterns with her fingertips absentmindedly. She set it down on the edge of the desk to make sure she would remember to get it washed and returned.

Taking one last look at herself, she decided that a shower was a necessity. She was exhausted, but she couldn't possibly sleep knowing that Yeul's blood was on her. So she crept back out of her room and headed for a shower.

* * *

"Castea!" called a gruff voice out into the night. A woman turned at the sound of her name, features twisted in disapproval. She was deathly pale, her domineering presence a stark contrast to her pallid complexion. Her features were soft, though her gray eyes were sharp and tinged to an intense silver in the moonlight. Her platinum blonde hair was cut short and slicked back, falling beneath the lobes of her ears. Her white cloak fell to her ankles and swayed gently with the air around her. She was standing at the front entrance of the Eighth Ark, watching over Pulse, and enjoying the chilly night air that graced her face.

She caught sight of her right hand walking up the stone steps. He was a tall man, his stature large and muscles bulky. Short auburn hair was accompanied by dark freckles that laid scattered along the length of his entire body, most hidden beneath a black cloak of his own. His sheer size and harsh expression inspired swift intimidation in most, despite the mellow green of his irises. She pursed her lips as he walked towards her. "Watch it, Sebastian", Castea snapped.

He lowered his head in a respectful, repentant bow. "My apologies, Lady Hidon." He raised his head just enough to meet her silvery eyes, hesitating with his words. "The Guardian, she's still struggling against us. We gave her the news, but she won't accept it. She's still-"

"I'm sure you can handle her." The blonde put her hands on the sides of his face and raised his head up, fixing him with a wicked grin. "How long has it been, my friend? Five years? Five long years and the many centuries before that. We're so close, Sebastian. Very close."

Her voice was filled with villainous pleasure. It both excited him and terrified him.

"Soon we will have fulfilled our goal. We will finally be free." She turned back, facing the eerie darkness of Pulse. "They've gotten the message and shall soon understand it." Glancing back toward her minion, she barked, "Go on", and waved him off. "Put that failed protector in her place. But don't be too harsh, love. We need her resigned, not dead."

"Yes, your majesty." He turned away and hurriedly rushed off into the stone entrance of the Ark.

Returning her gaze back over the beautiful landscape enshrouded in the darkness of the night, she felt the sensation of accomplishment and power rush through her. "Yes, we shall be free. Once the boy is in our hands, it will only be a matter of time."


	6. Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I promised you, I'd keep you safe. And I intend to keep that promise."

Lightning awoke to the warmth of the sun on her face as it drifted in through the blinds. She had slept extremely well and wasn't surprised to find that she'd slept in until ten thirty. Lazily sitting up, she winced at the dull pain in her right leg. As she slowly got out of bed, Lightning shivered at the morning coolness that still resided within her room. She pulled on some sweats over her night shorts and slipped on a long sleeve shirt over her tank top. Lightning was grateful for the clothes the Academy had left for her in her room - in preparation for her to awaken - but they were a tad too big. _Since I have some_ wonderful _time off I guess I should buy some clothes._

She walked out of her room and felt slightly melancholy at the sight of the empty couch. Hope's blanket was neatly folded up on the end cushion atop his pillow, the only evidence of his previous presence. She shuffled over to the blanket and grazed its edges with her fingertips. It's not like she'd expected him to still be there, especially so late in the morning, but she found herself feeling a tad lonely.

What she hadn't expected, was what she found when she looked over to the side table. A new lamp, of better quality, stood in the place of the previous one. The mess she had made by the wall was no longer there as if it had never occurred. Lightning allowed a small smile to grace her lips, wondering how she could have ever met such an altruistic person, let alone been his friend, when she knew she had to be one of the coldest people on Pulse. She knew she didn't deserve to even know him. Her smile widened when she smelled the heavenly aroma of fresh coffee in the air. _I didn't even know I had a coffee pot. That kid..._

Lightning spent her morning drinking three cups of coffee and watching the news. At around noon, she got dressed and readied herself to go out for some clothes. That is, until she remembered something. _Right, I have no money._

Making her way down to the lobby, she still wasn't sure what she should do and thought to ask Alyssa about her situation. While reaching for her comm, she was roughly bumped into.

"Oh hey, I'm terribly sorry, but-"

Lightning looked up to see none other than Lebreau with her expression turning from apologetic to excited.

"I know you. Long time, Lightning."

Lebreau quickly hugged her, throwing Lightning off. She didn't know Lebreau very well other than her encounters with her at her old cafe, during her run ins with NORA, and that short time when they were l'Cie. "Yeah. Hey." Lightning waved meagerly. Lebreau looked surprisingly different. Her hair was shorter, curlier, and her clothes were much less revealing while her face still looked almost exactly the same. Give or take a few laugh lines.

"I heard you woke up. I was just about to see if the guys wanted to come to lunch. Wanna join?"

Lightning didn't want to be rude but she knew it wouldn't be a very comfortable lunch with two people she barely knew. With or without Hope. "I don't-"

Lebreau walked past her and tugged on her shirt. "Oh, come on. You can at least help me get the boys to stop working. I swear, Maqui's getting to be about as bad as Hope these days." She walked over to the elevator and waved Lightning over. The soldier complied, knowing that someone should get them to take a break. _Hope should actually take a week._

Hope and Maqui's work area was in the basement of the building. It was a large workspace that took up the entire floor. Tools, pipes, cords, and pieces of metal laid everywhere. Lebreau's eyes were wide as she scanned over all of the misplaced junk. "Man, I told them to pick this place up", she huffed as she kicked away a piece of pipe.

It was empty of people except for a few that were diligently working on their projects. Hope and his platinum locks were easy enough to spot. Lightning, following Lebreau, walked over to him. He was stripped of his jacket and shirt, wearing a white tank top that was sticking to his body from the sweat. Lightning couldn't quite tell what he was working on. He had a long pipe cut in half on his desk and he was tweaking the wires inside.

"Heya, Hope", called Lebreau, though he didn't seem to notice her. "I said", she muttered as she scooted closer to his ear and yelled, "Heya, Hope!"

Hope jumped, causing one of the wires to send a small shock through his hand, and turned toward her. "Damn, Lebreau. Was that really necessary?" Hope shook his hand in the air, trying to relieve some of the lasting pain.

Lebreau only giggled. "Yes it was. If you didn't zone so much, I wouldn't have had to. Where's Maqui?"

"I'm over here", grumbled Maqui from around the corner. "Dear Maker, woman. I could hear you from across the shop." He glared at her as he came into view, then glanced at Lightning. "Hey."

"Good. I just came to get you two fools for lunch. I knew if someone didn't, you'd starve yourselves working all day." She crossed her arms, giving them both a small glare.

Hope raised a brow. "And you decided to get Light in on this charade?"

"She wouldn't come to lunch so I figured the least she could do was help me get you two goofballs."

Lightning knitted her brow. "The least I could do...?"

Lebreau shrugged. "Yes. Now are you two coming or not?" She folded her arms over her chest and tapped her foot, impatient and hungry.

"Yeah, sure." Maqui let out a resigned sigh and began walking toward the door, carelessly tossing his wrench to the floor.

Lebreau beamed. "One down. And you?"

Hope scratched his head and turned back to his work. It was tempting. He was hungry and he had been longing to hang out with his friends for quite some time now, but he had responsibilities. "I can't. I have to finish this wiring and then I have some papers to approve."

Lebreau tugged on his ear, not wanting to hear any of his excuses. "Hey, you're coming", she commanded.

Hope pulled her off with a grimace. "I can't", he insisted. "Maybe some other time."

She huffed, but otherwise relented. "Fine, but you're coming to dinner. We're all meeting at my cafe at six. No ifs, ands or buts." She turned and tugged on Lightning to follow her.

Maqui waited by the door, leaning against the wall. "Are we going or not?"

"One second, Maq", Lebreau yelled, pulling Lightning behind a corner. "Can you make sure he comes to dinner", whispered the brunette. "He'll listen to you."

Lightning crossed her arms. "I wasn't invited, but..."

"Of course you're coming too, soldier." Lebreau smiled invitingly. Lightning was a part of the gang too, whether she liked it or not.

"I'm not one for social... anything."

Lebreau grasped Lightning's shoulders roughly. "Oh, come on. All of us will be there. And Hope's sure to come if you're there to keep him company."

Lightning's mouth tightened as she quirked a brow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. It's just that Hope works _all the time_ ", said Lebreau, gesturing emphatically. "He needs a break and we wanna hang out with him. He may be a little more encouraged to go if one of his old pals is there, is all."

Lightning blew her bangs from her eyes and sighed. She supposed it wouldn't be too bad of an idea. "Fine."

"Yay! Hope knows where the cafe is so just come with him. It's going to be all of us team Nora people... minus Snow, of course." She stopped, looking a little forlorn, but picked right back up. "And Nivien and her younger brother. It's going to be great." She then bounced off toward Maqui, arresting his arm as she dragged him out. "I thought I told you knuckleheads to keep this place up", she said, shifting back into her motherly tone.

"It's not like we're the only ones that work in here."

"Yeah, yeah", replied Lebreau before waving back at Lightning and shoving the mechanic through the door. Leaving Lightning to deal with Hope.

She walked back around to Hope's workspace. "So... this isn't what I had in mind when I envisioned the director's job."

He stopped working and turned toward her biting his lip. "I like to be... more hands on with my projects than I should, but I balance it out."

"Yeah, by being a zombie", Lightning mumbled almost inaudibly, earning a small laugh from Hope. "Really, you-"

He waved her off, having already heard it all before. "Yeah, I know. You all thoroughly disapprove of my time management skills. Believe me, I know." Hope picked up his gloves from the table and shoved them on. He knew everyone was just trying to look out for him, but it really irked him sometimes. He knew his limits. "I just have a lot to get done."

Lightning contemplated what to say. She figured he'd have a lot on his plate, but that didn't mean he had to become such a workaholic. _Maker, he's turning into me._ She shook her head to rid herself of the thought. "Anything I can help with? I'm stuck off duty for a few days. I'm sure I could be of some use."

Hope considered the thought, but decided against it. "I'm sure you would, Light, but no. You should rest up. How's that leg doing anyway?"

 _Nice deflection, Hope._ Lightning leaned against his workbench beside him. "Its fine", she spoke curtly. "And you know I don't 'rest'. I was in that room for less than two hours and I was already bouncing off walls. I need something to do." _It's the whole reason I went back to work._ "I was going to go out and get some clothes, but I realized that I'm broke."

Hope jumped and went for his coat. "Why didn't you say something sooner, Light? Here, use my card. I'll call ahead and make sure you have clearance to use it." He took out his wallet and slid his card into her hand.

With a scoff, Lightning tried to shove it back at him. "I'm not a charity case. I'll just get clothes later, when _I_ can buy them."

He pushed her hand back. "And when will that be? C'mon, it's alright. You're my friend. And of course you're not a charity case. But it's not like you just opted to laze around for the last six years not making any gil. You couldn't. So please, I insist."

"No", Lightning growled.

"You had no qualms about living in the apartment we provided for you, or wearing the clothing left for you."

Lightning shot daggers at him and slammed the card down on the table. "Fine, you can have it all back." She turned to walk away, but Hope grabbed her arm and jerked her back. The force startled Lightning. She still didn't expect such strength from Hope.

"You know that's not what I meant, Light. Is it because it's from me and not through the Academy?" He let her go and put his hands in his pockets.

She sighed and relaxed her shoulders. "I just don't need to be taken care of."

"I know. But forgive me for wanting to." He turned away, set to go back to work.

Lightning watched his expression turn grim and his shoulders slump. She didn't want to mooch off of him, but he had a point. He looked back at her with his token puppy dog eyes and pleading expression in what seemed to be one last attempt at convincing her. It was effective, because she felt her heart melt. _Man, I swear, no one has immunity to that look. Maybe this can work to my advantage?_ She snatched up the card and punched him softly on the arm. "Alright, under two conditions."

Hope groaned and glanced over at her. "Why do I not like the sound of that?"

Lightning fixed him with a stern look until he turned back toward her, hands once again in his pockets. "Condition one - I get to work with you until I get back on duty."

Hope shook his head, but conceded, "Fine, but that seems a bit too fair on my end", he said with a smirk.

"Condition two - you come to dinner. I'm so not going alone with NORA, your little temperamental friend, and her brother, whom I've never even met." Lightning must have unknowingly said the most hilarious thing, because Hope was doubled over with laughter. "What?"

Hope took a few moments to stop and breathe before replying. "Actually, he was one of the first people you met." The pinkette looked at him with confusion, obviously not understanding him. "Olly. He's the unfortunate soldier you came across, and subsequently knocked out, when you came out of stasis."

"Oh, great." She crossed her arms. _That's just wonderful. Today keeps getting better._ "Then that settles it. You're definitely coming."

Hope bit his bottom lip. "Yeah, alright. Deal. But you better buy _a ton_ of clothes. I mean it. Don't make me pull rank on you, Farron", he mock commanded.

Lightning playfully jabbed him with her elbow. "You wouldn't dare."

"Alright", said Hope through his laughter. "Get out of here. I need to focus and you most certainly aren't helping."

"My apologies, Director." Lightning poked him in the forehead before turning to leave.

* * *

For the remainder of the day before dinner, Hope worked. He finished wiring one of the poles for the shield project, which, to his dismay, was incredibly difficult, but not impossible. After welding the pole back together, he had finished with just enough time to go over a few of the papers in the towering stack on his desk. At four thirty, he stopped the mind-numbing process - paperwork was never his thing - and decided he needed to clean himself up before hanging out with his friends. His driver took him to his house, where he hadn't set foot in within almost three weeks.

When his father died and he took over his position, Hope had become almost unbearably overwhelmed. He had always been a hard worker. He'd flown through school, having hardly been challenged at all. But it seemed, as director, there was never a break. Hope found he was almost always behind. That is, until he began working more and more. He used the shower in the workshop, kept extra uniforms in his office, and slept on his office couch. All to try and get his work done. He knew it wasn't healthy, far from it, but he had big shoes to fill.

After showering, he got dressed and was fully ready by four fifty-three. He had already called Lightning who told him she'd be by his house at five thirty to meet up since Lebreau's cafe was only fifteen minutes from there. This left him time to spare.

He wandered into his study, previously his father's, and sat in the desk chair. He knew he should be using this extra time wisely, but he was too exhausted to do so. Instead, he reclined back in the chair hoping to catch a brief nap before Lightning arrived.

* * *

_"It's your own son's birthday. You can't possibly be serious."_

_Hope was sitting in the hallway by the stairs, listening to his mom who was in the kitchen yelling at his father on the phone. His mom had made him a special dinner of his choice for his birthday. They had already eaten by themselves since his father had said he'd be late from work. They decided to wait to eat the cake and open presents until Bartholomew could make it home._

_It was ten at night and he still hadn't arrived._

_"I know, but this isn't fair to him. I-How could you not have known? I thought you said you cleared your schedule?"_

_Hope sighed. Although his mother had reassured him many times over the past week that his father would be there for his birthday, he knew he would be working. After all, his father always worked. Overtime on weekdays, on weekends, on holidays, even when he was home his father would be in his study or on his phone in a conference call. So Hope had been realistic about his expectations. But his father had promised him_ _the day before that_ _he'd be home in time for dinner and that he had a special surprise for his fourteenth birthday. Bartholomew had gotten his son's hopes up, just to crush them yet again._

_"Fine, but we're finishing this when you get home." He heard the beep of the phone signaling the end of their call. Hearing his mother's footsteps approaching the stairs, Hope rapidly got up, ran into his bedroom and flew into bed. He'd just made it under the covers when his mom knocked on the door. He kept his eyes closed as she opened it and stepped inside._

_"I know you're awake."_

_He didn't want to talk with his mom. She would only want to talk about his father and make excuses for him. He stayed still as she crept over to his bed._

_Hope burst into laughter as his mother began tickling his sides. "Okay, okay, I'm up." His mom smiled sweetly and brushed his bangs from his eyes as she sat on the bed beside him._

_Nora's smile faltered as she peered down at her disappointed son. "How much did you hear?"_

_Hope sat up, wondering how he never seemed to get anything passed her mom sense. "All of it." He cast his eyes down on the bed, fiddling with the sheets._

_She began to frown, but quickly replaced it with a smile. "I'm sorry. You know your father wanted to be here. He just has a lot of work."_

_Hope growled. "Bullshit."_

_Nora's mouth dropped open in shock. "Hope Monroe Estheim", his mother scolded. "That language is not tolerated in this household. And your father just got a little caught up with-"_

_His head shot up. "With work! Exactly, that's the problem. It's always work. He puts his job before everything." Hope stopped and huffed before continuing. "Dad doesn't care about us. He's always gone and never has time. Don't you care? I mean he even missed your anniversary. I saw you crying. But you just-just accepted it. You forgave him the moment he came home and-"_

_Nora pulled Hope into a hug, stopping the fuming teenager instantly. They sat there for a while until Hope calmed down. He sighed and gave a muffled apology into his mom's shirt before pulling away._

_She calmly smiled and ruffled his hair. "I know." Standing up she asked, "Do you want to have your cake?"_

_He considered it, there was really no point in waiting for his father anymore. "No, I'm not really hungry. Can I open my presents, though" asked Hope eagerly._

_Nora's smile grew. "Maybe just one. Give me a minute." She walked out of Hope's bedroom and returned a few moments later with a small wrapped gift. She flipped the lights on in his room before sitting back on the bed._

_Hope snatched the present out of her hand. It was square, light, and felt like clothing. He glared at his mom at the thought. "I get one present today and you give me clothes?"_

_Nora chuckled and replied, "You haven't even opened it yet"._

_He looked back at the gift skeptically before tearing it open. He had been right. It was clothing. It was a small green cloth with frayed edges. He unfolded it, revealing it to be a bandana with a black pattern._

_"It's a tribal scarf. I saw it at a market a few months ago. The pattern actually says something in Pulsian."_

_Hope's eyebrows rose. Although Pulse was ingrained into everyone's brains as hell, his mother spoke of it differently. She was constantly saying that people are always afraid of things they don't understand. "What does it mean?"_

_She put a hand on her son's shoulder. "The future lies with hope."_

_He snorted. Of course it was some inspirational quote with his namesake. Ever since he could remember, his mother repeatedly used his name against him when he was angry or upset. That along with the fact that Hope had always been teased about his name, led to his small resentment toward the annoying word. But he smiled nonetheless. "Thanks, mom. It's even in my favorite color."_

_Nora enveloped him in a bear hug. "I know, it's like it was made for you", she said excitedly. "You know how hard that blueish-green is to find in anything. Surprisingly, it was one of only three different colors."_

_His mother's enthusiasm just reinforced his will to keep his mouth shut about his dislike for everything pertaining to the word 'hope'. She gave him a light kiss on the cheek. Hope rolled his eyes before rubbing his cheek harshly. "Really, mom?"_

_"You're never too old for a kiss goodnight", whispered his mom as she turned out the light and walked out of the room._

_"Yes, I am",_ _Hope_ _muttered._

* * *

A loud pounding noise awoke Hope from his dream. He had been reclining at such an angle, that the shock of the sound waking him caused him to fall out of the chair. He groaned and rubbed his now sore shoulder. Getting up from the floor and grabbing the top of the desk to help leverage himself up, Hope saw a flash of something white on the belly of the center drawer. He bent down to look underneath the desk and saw an envelope taped to it. Pulling it off, he looked at the envelope suspiciously. Just when he was about to open it, the harsh pounding sounded once more. He stuffed the envelope into his pocket before rushing out to the front door.

As Hope reached for the doorknob, the door jerked open, slamming into his face. "Ow", Hope cried out and reached for his nose. "Damn it."

Lightning, realizing what she'd just done, cautiously made her way inside, trying to avoid hitting him again. He was slumped over, holding his nose as blood drained out. "Hope, I'm so sorry." She flew to his side and ushered him over to a chair. "Where's your bathroom?"

Hope pointed to a room diagonally across from them and she rushed into it. As she fumbled through cabinets looking for supplies, Hope sat, his eyes squeezed shut, holding his nose as he prayed for the throbbing pain to stop.

Hurriedly walking back to his side, Lightning knelt in front of him, clutching a towel in her hand. "Let me see it."

Hope shook his head rapidly. He soon regretted the action as the room began spinning in front of him.

"Don't be such a baby." She pried Hope's hand off of his nose, looking intently at it. "I don't think it's broken." She reached toward it with a towel. He jerked his head away from her, but the soldier just continued forward until she'd accomplished her goal.

Hope whined softly. "Are you sure? It sure feels broken." _Or shattered._

"It's not bruising so there's probably just a few broken blood vessels. Under your eye is swelling and bruising some, though." Lightning averted her gaze to the ground and sighed.

A few minutes and one short eternity later, Hope took the towel from her and stood up. "I think the bleeding stopped, so I'm gonna get changed." He sidestepped around the downcast soldier and left to his bedroom. As he changed in the next room, he hadn't heard any movement from Lightning. He then went to the bathroom, washed off the crusting blood from his face and took two painkillers to relieve the dull ache that resided not only in his nose, but in his temples now as well. Noticing it to be five forty-five, Hope quickly went to retrieve Lightning. She was still crouched in the same position in front of his chair, deep in thought. "It's alright, Light. I know you didn't mean to and I am a pretty big baby. Really, it doesn't hurt that bad."

She stood up and turned toward him. She was startled slightly by the sight of Hope in normal clothing, having been too worried about his injury to notice before. She realized she hadn't seen him in anything other than his Academy uniform since she woke up. He was wearing a faded brown hooded sweatshirt, black cargo pants, black work boots, and a slight blush as he found her to be staring at him. Shaking herself out of her small trance, she walked over to him and glared. "Why didn't you answer the door? I was waiting out there for five minutes until I decided to check if it was locked."

Hope put his hands in his pockets while mentally scolding himself for making Lightning wait. He knew that nap had been a terrible idea. "I was asleep", replied Hope sheepishly. "I'm sorry."

Lightning decided to tone down her harsh gaze, realizing that he thought she was truly angry with him. She was about to change the subject to ease the tension, when she remembered a question she'd had before the incident. "Where are your guards?' Hope rolled his eyes and was about to respond, but Lightning hadn't quite finished. "And why isn't your door locked?" _Hope's supposed to be protected._ Frowning at him and putting a hand on her hip, she waited for a reply.

He rubbed his forehead and raked his hand through his hair, knowing full well Lightning wasn't going to like his next words. "I sent them home." She furrowed her brow and opened her mouth to speak, but Hope simply continued. "I know, but I don't need to be protected... except maybe from you", spoke Hope, chuckling nervously. She looked furious. "I'm fine, Light. It's a waste of time and manpower. They could be doing much more productive things than guarding me." He tried to give her a smile, but the intense anger that emanated from the soldier stopped it from making its appearance. As much as Hope knew he should have stopped there, he trudged on regardless. "And I always forget to lock the door. It's no big deal."

Lightning was ready to punch him. She didn't think he could seriously be that naïve. "Hope", Lightning fumed. "You can't possibly be serious? You always forget to lock it? That's your excuse?" She took a step toward him as he retreated back a few steps, slight fear registering in his eyes. _Good._ "And you sent your guards home? What the hell, Hope? I can't believe you'd be so stupid."

Hope knew she wouldn't take it well, but he sorely underestimated how mad she would get. He thought only Snow could make her this angered.

"It's not a waste of time, Hope. This city needs a leader and what if something happens to you? It couldn't... I couldn't... Did you learn nothing from the assassination attempt?" Lightning snapped her mouth shut, regretting the last words she had uttered. She hadn't talked about it with him yet and she most certainly had not wanted to bring it up like that. As she looked in his eyes, she saw pain and sadness, which was far from what she'd wanted to cause. She only wanted to make him understand the danger he was putting himself in. "Hope. Hope, I'm sorry. I-"

Hope put his hand up in front of her, stopping her apologies. "No. You're right. I was careless." He was completely aware that Lightning hadn't meant to bring that up, but she had, and it dug up all of his buried grief and pain that he'd kept inside. Memories of that day took over his mind for a few tormenting seconds. "How did you find out", Hope asked, his voice quiet, yet surprisingly steady.

"Alyssa told me." Lightning hated herself for hurting him the way that she had. She couldn't believe her good intentions had become such a mess.

Hope looked off into the corner past her. "Right." Try as he might he couldn't get the images out of his mind. He hadn't allowed himself to think about that day in a long time.

Lightning didn't know what to do. Hope had gotten severely quiet and wouldn't look at her. There was nothing she could say. The only thing she could do was comfort, which was not her forte in the least. She remembered the first time she'd tried to comfort and help the grief stricken young man. All she had succeeded in doing, was set him on a path of revenge and give him the weapon to carry out his mission.

Lightning forced those memories away. Hope was in pain and she needed to help. Without much further thought, she put her arms around Hope's middle and hugged him.

Hope jolted out of his memories, never wanting to remember them again, and realized what was happening. Lightning was hugging him, tightly. He put his arms around her, accepting the comforting gesture.

She could feel Hope startle at her touch and wondered for a fleeting second if she'd made the wrong move. But as Hope relaxed and reciprocated the gesture, she nuzzled herself a bit into his chest. The pinkette could feel his erratic heartbeat begin to slow back to a normal pace. While being so close to him, she began making more observations about the new Hope. For one, his height seemed even more daunting than before. Through his shirt, she felt Hope's – new to her – muscles and silently praised him for them. As she took in Hope's fresh scent though, she felt slightly overwhelmed by a new emotion as an unknown warmth surged through her body. For the life of her, she couldn't understand what it was that she felt.

He felt her push herself farther into his chest and he wasn't quite sure what it meant. It seemed instead of comforting him, she was trying to find comfort in him. He brushed that thought away, instead focusing on the warmth of Lightning's embrace. She was so close to him. For the longest time while she was in stasis, Hope thought he would never be able to speak with her again. Let alone be able to be that close to her.

A few minutes had passed before the two parted, their faces a tad reddened. "We should get going", suggested Hope. "We're already going to be late." He turned to leave, but felt a tug on the back of his sleeve.

Lightning stopped him. She knew his emotions couldn't be faring too well. A hug could only do so much. "Are you sure? If your... um-nose is still hurting then I'm sure they'd understand."

Hope smiled as she walked in front of him. "Yeah, it's okay. Besides, I made a promise."

They got to his car and his driver was standing there waiting. "Running a little late, sir", asked Dornum, smiling while opening a door for Lightning. She thanked the old driver before sitting in the car.

"Aren't I always?"

* * *

As they exited the car, Lightning took in the appearance of Lebreau's place. It was a decent sized restaurant called the NORA cafe. It looked much like the one in Bodhum but was bigger and sturdier.

Hope noticed her examining the restaurant and spoke up. "Lebreau wanted it to seem as much like her old one in Bodhum as possible. She felt the familiarity would be good for everyone from there, as well as for Snow. Whenever he wakes up, that is." Lightning nodded to express that she'd heard him.

Although she was looking over the cafe, Lightning found herself still attempting to figure out the feeling that had come over her not twenty minutes before. It confused her to no end. She also felt a twinge of nervousness about dinner. Sitting around and chit chatting with friends was something she hadn't done since before her mother died.

The young director rubbed the back of his neck as he waited for some sort of response or movement from Lightning. She seemed to be deep in thought. "You look really nice, by the way." It was the first time Hope had seen her out of uniform as well. She was wearing a white short sleeve blouse with a black button-up jacket, jeans and brown boots. Lightning finally seemed to snap out of her head and looked at him.

"What?"

Hope chuckled and repeated, "You look nice."

Lightning looked herself over and back at Hope before replying. "Thanks."

Nostalgic green eyes looked out into the distance as Hope found himself staring at Cocoon. "You know, I think I'm gonna visit them soon."

Lightning turned to look at what he was talking about and immediately understood. She couldn't believe she hadn't even thought about visiting them.

"You should too. I mean, if you want. We built a small facility beneath to monitor it and keep it from being attacked, but we wanted to keep it at a safe distance from Academia. You know, in the event that it... falls." Hope stared down at his shoes, hating himself for even thinking of the possibility. He had to have faith. They'd be all right.

"Yeah, I should see them soon."

"We should probably get inside. We're already fifteen minutes late." With that, they went inside, greeted by the warm atmosphere. As Hope entered the cafe, he felt nervousness hit. Before, he had thought about the dinner as a good time with some friends. But now he remembered Nivien's actions at G.C. headquarters the day before. He hoped she wouldn't still act the same way around everyone. He felt lucky that he had slid his way out of Lightning's question about her before. _Hopefully everyone else can ease the tension. If they don't make it worse._

"Hey, guys! Over here", called Maqui. Everyone was already there. They sat around a large table with enough room to sit ten.

As they approached the table, Lebreau glowered at Hope. "What took you so long? I-" She immediately stopped, seeing Hope's partially swollen and bruised eye.

"Oh, c'mon, Lebreau. You know me, I'm always fashionably late" stated Hope with a laugh.

Yuj snorted. "Yeah. Oh so fashionable." Gadot elbowed him in the ribs. "Ow, jeez. He knows I'm only kidding.

Maqui grinned at Hope, mischief gleaming in his eyes. "Hey, how'd you get the shiner?" He snickered as Hope rolled his eyes and sat next to Lebreau. Lightning sat on Hope's left, in between him and Yuj.

"It's not a black eye. It's more under my eye than on it", Hope tried.

"Please. How'd you get it?" Hope rubbed the back of his head as Lightning averted her gaze, telling Maqui what he needed to know. "A girl? You got punched by a girl?"

Lebreau threw the lemon from her drink at Maqui's head, but he ducked just in time. "Hey, what's that supposed to mean, you sexist? Zip your trap."

Gadot took Maqui into a headlock and gave him a noogie. "Yeah, I'd keep your mouth shut, Maq. I wouldn't want to cross any of these women." The burly man released Maqui and turned to their newest arrivals. "So, Lightning, what did the dunce do to deserve that", asked Gadot with a wink.

She sighed, not wanting to go into the details about her klutzy move that could have landed Hope with a broken nose or a nasty concussion, but she didn't want to seem antisocial. She went to speak, but Lebreau cut her off.

"Oh, please. It couldn't have been that bad. Hope can be an idiot sometimes, but I don't think he could-"

Hope shoved Lebreau's shoulder. "Wow, thanks for the backhanded compliment."

Lebreau just shoved him back, almost knocking him off his chair. "You didn't even let me finish."

Lightning took in the boisterous group. She found it very weird, but surprisingly enjoyable. If she were to go back and tell her past self that this would be her future – relaxing and enjoying an evening meal with some friends – she would have told her that it was impossible for her to even have friends. Yet here she was. Granted she didn't know them all very well, but that would be the classification for them. Friends.

Yuj, Gadot and Maqui were playfully knocking each other around as they teased Hope about his eye. Lebreau and Hope were laughing. Nivien was intently listening to Hope and Lebreau while laughing herself. But the young man next to Nivien, who she supposed was Olly, seemed out of place. He was keenly trying to avoid eye contact with Lightning, and she could guess why. Although one jab to the ribs from Maqui a few seconds later had him joining in with a fit of giggles. He was a young man of about eighteen maybe nineteen and looked very clean cut.

"Really, guys", said Hope through his laughter. "It's no big deal. It was just an accident. Even if it was really good timing." Hope gave Lightning a playful glance and she decided to chime in on the conversation.

"You just better learn to not keep me waiting or my timing will have to be a little more precise next time." Lightning punched him in the arm as everyone erupted with laughter.

Yuj slapped his knee. "I'd watch it, Hope. If that's what an accident looks like, I wouldn't want to see you if it was on purpose."

"I would", said Maqui eagerly. "Go on, Lightning. Put him in his place." Lebreau threw another lemon slice toward Maqui, which he dodged just in time for it to fly into the waitress's face.

Lebreau's eyes widened. "Oh, I'm sorry, Meg." Maqui just burst into laughter along with Olly.

Nivien smacked her brother on the back of his head. "Terribly sorry for these two, as well."

Lightning took in Nivien's appearance. She looked so different from her soldier self. Her hair was down to her shoulders, curled with a bobby pin keeping her bangs to the side. She was wearing a low cut top and a few silver bangles. Her whole aura was completely different as well. Back at G.C. Headquarters, she seemed to be a very strong and confident woman, with the exception of her actions toward Hope. Her confidence showed now as well, just in a much more feminine way. Her harsh, business front was gone. She was like a normal woman now. Completely relaxed and enjoying herself.

The waitress just laughed as she wiped the juice from her cheek. "It's quite alright, Ms. Kinesh. Here are your menus, jus' lemme know when you're ready."

Yuj snorted as she walked away. "Really, _Ms. Kinesh_ , I don't think it's very polite to throw food at your employees."

Lebreau glared at him. "Watch it, Yuj, or it won't be a lemon hitting you." She balled her fist and shook it at him.

Nivien looked across the table at Lightning, observing her for a moment. She folded her arms and rested them on the table. "So, it's Lightning, right?" Everyone quieted down, waiting for her response.

"Yeah."

She smiled. "I hear you put my brother in his place a few days ago." Olly's jaw dropped and she chuckled at his expression. "I have to thank you for that. If I had to hear him one more time spouting off about how 'women can't possibly expect to take down men' again, I was gonna scream. But it seems all he needed was a little demonstration."

Olly put his hand to his forehead and covered his eyes. "That's no woman, she's a deadly weapon."

Gadot slammed his hand down on the table, cracking up. "And your sister isn't? I've seen her in action." He looked over to Nivien. "You'd think he'd learn first-hand, being your brother and all."

Nivien sighed. "I guess I just wasn't hard enough on him. That'll have to change though."

Lightning chuckled. "Yeah, it just might. He was a bit cockier than he should have been. What's your rank anyway, kid?"

Maqui grinned before smacking Olly on the back. "A private", shouted Maqui, attempting to control his laughter.

Olly sat up straight at that. "I am sorry, though. I was just trying to do my job."

"I can respect that, but I'd think twice about going against Lightning again", advised Lebreau with a wink.

Yuj rolled his eyes. "Who'd even think about it? It's a no brainer."

Hope gave Olly a crooked grin. "No one messes with Light."

Olly slumped in his chair, apparently not taking the jokes and gibes very well. "Don't sweat it, kid", said Lightning, staring at the menu. "You did fine under the circumstances." Olly beamed and sat up.

Meg came a few moments later and took everyone's order. Almost all of them knew immediately what they wanted, having eaten there many times before, but Lightning wasn't sure. She wasn't sure she even wanted to eat, but she took one of Hope's recommendations regardless.

"Alright, hope ya'll are havin' a good time. You sure do seem like ya are", said Meg, before collecting the menus and leaving.

Lebreau sighed and turned to Hope. "So, when is Sazh due back from his super-secret mission?"

"Not until tomorrow." Hope had kept himself so busy, he hadn't allowed himself to think about the mission for the crystals. If they didn't find anything today, it was likely that the whole plan was a bust and they would be back to square one. Waiting.

Maqui looked up from a gadget he was fiddling with under the table and grinned. "I can't wait to see what they find. I mean Snow could come out of st-"

"Maqui", Hope yelled sternly.

All of the group's eyes went to Hope. Lightning knew it'd been classified. Why she'd been able to know... she wasn't sure whether it was because of her sister, her closeness with Hope, or a mixture of the two. But if Sazh, the pilot of the mission, hadn't known until the day he reported in, then she didn't think Maqui would have been told.

Lebreau quirked a brow. "What about Snow's stasis?"

Hope looked at everyone around the table. The whole table looked at him expectantly, but he couldn't tell them. It was enough that he'd leaked the mission to Lightning. But then again, he was the director, and it all was his idea. If he wanted to tell his friends, he should be able to. Then he thought about when he told Lightning. Even though she'd been careful to keep most of her feelings hidden, he knew that if this mission didn't pull through, she'd be heartbroken. He most certainly didn't want to put them all through that.

"Maqui, were you hacking into the Academy's files again", Hope asked, trying to dodge the questions.

"I did help build the firewall. Don't tell me you didn't expect it?" Hope looked extremely angered and serious, causing Maqui's grin to promptly disappear.

Lebreau put a hand on Hope's wrist, bringing him back to her. "What is he talking about, Hope?"

Hope gave a resigned sigh and ducked his head. _Damn it._ "He's talking about the mission and some seriously classified stuff that he had no business looking into."

"Hey", yelled Maqui. "It has to do with all of us in NORA. This is Snow we're talking about."

The silveret groaned. "Yeah and Sazh's son. Sazh is the pilot of the mission and will be on the search team as well. He and almost every other person on that search team doesn't even know why they're looking for the crystal. It's classified."

Maqui stood and slammed his hands on the table. He didn't care about the politics or legalities of matters, they deserved to know. "That's insane. You're telling me that he's looking for something that could save his son, and doesn't even know it?"

Olly blinked in surprise at Maqui's outburst. "What is going on?" Nivien tapped him on the shoulder and waved a finger at him, telling him to keep quiet.

"That's exactly what I'm telling you." Hope folded his arms over his chest, wishing Maqui would just shut up.

Gadot pulled Maqui down by the collar of his vest, forcing the mechanic to his chair, but Maqui continued arguing with Hope regardless. "We should still get to know. Hell, even Light-" He looked at Lightning, noticing her disinterest. Maqui gritted his teeth upon realization. "Oh, hell no. You told her? You told Lightning and you can't tell us? Holy Etro, Hope."

The Academy leader tensed up immediately. _I knew I should have kept my mouth shut. I was just so excited..._ "Fine." He didn't want to look at any of their expressions. He didn't want to see the hope in their eyes that could easily be stamped out by one call the next morning. So the teen stared hard at the table, eyes observing every crack, dent and chip as he combed through his thoughts. "Sazh's mission is to find a piece of a crystal. If they find it and two other pieces, then we might, and I emphasize _might_ , be able to get Dajh, Serah and Snow out of stasis." Hope shook his head as he rubbed his temples. "Along with Cocoon." If that got out to the rest of the city, there would be major backlash. Especially if it got to the Sanctum settlement.

Everyone was quiet, unmoving. Yuj, Lebreau, and Gadot were taking it all in. The possibility of their leader coming back making them unbelievably excited. Maqui was still fuming about Hope telling Lightning and not him. Nivien and Olly just sat there, unsure of what to think. Hope knew that the both of them had given up on all possibilities of the planet coming back, along with their parents.

Lightning stared at Hope, spotting a slight tremble in his hands. She knew he hadn't wanted to tell them. It had been quite obvious. She understood why. He'd even hesitated in telling her. But Maqui had a point. It did concern all of them.

Before anyone could speak, Meg came with their food. After unloading it all and checking to make sure all was well, she left the quiet table and its occupants, a little uneasy about the sudden silence.

They ate quietly, almost mechanically, for a few minutes until Yuj cleared his throat. "Why didn't you tell us? Was it really just because it was classified?"

Hope put down his fork and finished chewing slowly, thinking over the question. "No. It's because it's a slim chance, guys. I didn't want you all to get your hopes up."

"But you told Lightning", responded Nivien, not looking away from her food.

Hope opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by Lightning. "I pretty much forced it out of him. Really, it's not his fault. "

The tension seemed to ebb away after the shock and anger had subsided. Much of the next twenty minutes of conversation was about progress on the shield project, Team NORA's current responsibilities in Academia, and Nivien's questions about Lightning's previous work in Bodhum. After that, Nivien excused herself from the table, wanting to step outside for some fresh air. Hope followed a minute after.

* * *

Hope walked out just as Nivien flipped her lighter shut, sticking it into her pocket. "I thought you quit", he inquired, startling her.

She blew out the smoke through her nose with a roll of the eyes. "I did. I missed them too much." Hope walked up beside her, looking intently at the surrounding city. "What are you doing out here?"

Hope swallowed at the bite in her question. There was no doubt that she was pissed at him. He turned toward her deciding to bite the bullet. "What's up with you?"

"What do you mean?"

Hope gave her a look telling her to cut the crap. "You know full well what I mean. Yesterday, that was just rude and unprofessional. I thought we were friends."

Nivien scoffed and flicked the ashes from her cigarette, but still didn't face him. It had been a long time since they had talked, even in a hostile manner such as this. Nivien had to calm the storm of emotions building inside of her. She cared for him too much. "We were."

Now he was even more confused. He stepped in front of her so she'd be forced to look at him. "Nivien, what's going on? I don't even know what I-"

She ignored the small shiver that came with her name crossing his lips. _It's too much._ "Whatever." Nivien glanced off to the side, attempting to ignore his presence.

Hope was getting frustrated now. She could make rude comments and push him around, but actually telling him what was up was out of the question? He hadn't known Nivien to be so childish. "I-"

"Don't act so innocent, Hope. It's making me sick." She threw her cigarette down and stomped it out before turning to leave.

Hope attempted to pull her back, but instead when he'd grabbed her arm, she'd turned and pushed him back. "Stop it, Nivien. I want to talk about this. Like adults."

She huffed and spun back toward him, hurt sparking in her hazel irises. "I'm angry, okay?" Her eyes widened and her face reddened when she realized how close their faces were. _I can't take this anymore._ Taking a step back, she continued, "I just-"

"Is this still about... what happened between us?"

The lieutenant put her hand to her forehead, rubbing it to try and relieve the tension headache that was surfacing. "Really? Of course it is. I know you're not that dense, Hope."

He looked at his shoes, unsure of how to continue. He didn't even want to keep on with the conversation, but he knew Nivien's recent behavior had to be solved and stopped. "I'm sorry."

"I loved you, you know that?"

Hope's head snapped up and their eyes locked. He did know, but that hadn't changed anything. "I-"

"And I still do... but it doesn't matter." She shook her head and put her hands in her skirt pockets. "You don't care about me."

Hope grabbed her wrist out of her pocket and took her hand. "Of course I care about you. I just... I don't know."

She relished the small contact. It had been entirely too long. Nivien held onto his hand tightly for a few moments before sliding out of his fingertips. "Not the way that I care about you."

"Nivien I... I can't really see anyone anyway. I work too much to even stay in contact with my friends, let alone stay in a relationship and..." Hope faltered with how to finish. He had known that Nivien still carried feelings for him, he just hadn't known that they'd remained so strong. After all, it had been almost eight months since they broke up.

"You know that if you really cared... if you loved me too... then you'd make time for me. And you wouldn't have hesitated in taking the next step."

Hope turned away from her, knowing she was right.

* * *

After Nivien and Hope had walked out of the restaurant, everyone either stared at their empty plates, or were silently eating their remaining food. Everyone but Maqui, of course.

He stared at the doors, trying to see what was going on between his friends outside. "I thought they broke up?"

Lightning choked a little on the last of her salad going down her throat and Gadot smacked him upside the head.

"Like it's any of your business", snapped Lebreau.

Maqui raised his hands up in defense. "Hey, he's my best friend, of course I wanna know."

"Yes, they're broken up", Olly grumbled.

Yuj laughed while saying, "I can't believe they were ever even together in the first place."

"Shut it, Yuj. I thought they were a cute couple." Lebreau huffed and crossed her arms.

 _A couple?_ Lightning had mixed feelings at that thought, though she wasn't quite sure why. It made sense with how Nivien had acted toward him before. Especially if it had ended badly. Although she didn't know why, she wanted to know more. She deduced that it was just due to the fact that he was one of her closest friends, if not the closest friend that she had. Lightning cleared her throat. "They were... together?" Everyone looked to Lightning, making her feel incredibly awkward.

Lebreau smiled. "Yeah. They started dating about a month after he turned eighteen until around... what?" She turned to her fellow NORA members, who all shrugged. She rolled her eyes and put a hand to her chin.

"It's been eight months", replied Olly bitterly, staring off into the distance with a hardened expression.

Lebreau nodded in agreement. "Right. They seemed happy, but I guess with Hope's job and his new responsibilities after... well, you know, they started seeing less of each other. Well, everyone started seeing less of Hope." She frowned. "Anyway, I guess that's why they broke up." Lebreau turned back to her plate before looking at the bill. "Don't worry you guys, dinner is on me."

Maqui and Yuj hollered and clapped, ecstatic that they didn't have to pay, but were shut down by simultaneous smacks on their heads by Gadot. "As childish as ever."

* * *

They stood in silence for a while, avoiding eye contact and just taking in the night enshrouded city. "It's tomorrow, isn't it", asked Nivien as she glanced at Hope.

His jaw tightened before he spoke. "Yeah."

Nivien put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently. Despite their bitter end, she still felt so much for him. _And with the anniversary tomorrow..._ She internally reprimanded herself for wanting to comfort him. "I'm sorry." The elder then turned and went back inside.

Hope stayed, taking in the slight breeze. He felt overwhelmed. Things really hadn't ended the way he'd wanted them to with her, but he didn't know how he could fix it now. She'd been right, after all. He didn't feel the same way. He cared for her a lot, but he knew he didn't love her. Maybe he'd been lying to himself the whole time. Their breakup was just another thing he'd blamed on his position, but in all actuality, it was his feelings, or lack of feelings, that had caused the split. He felt truly terrible about the hurt he had caused.

Deciding not to rejoin the group, he went to call his driver, but realized he didn't have his comm on him. Mentally slapping himself for being so stupid, he used a payphone. He told Dornum that he was walking to the Academy base. Hope asked him to swing by the cafe anyway and take Lightning home. When asked why, he said he just needed some air.

* * *

The gang was all done and ready to leave. Hope still hadn't come inside, but Nivien had told them that he had needed some time to think. While walking toward the exit though, Lightning got a call from Alyssa.

"Hello?"

"Hey", spoke Alyssa, bubbly as ever. "Is the director with you?"

Lightning stopped and furrowed her brow, wondering why she wouldn't know where he was. Alyssa could always easily track his comm. "Yeah. Why?"

"Ugh, I've been trying to get a hold of him, but he wasn't answering. I tracked his comm which led to his house, so I went and looked for him. I guess he left it in his pants when he changed? Anyway, can you put him on? It's kind of urgent."

"Yeah, one moment." She walked outside, azure eyes scanning for him, but he wasn't there. She turned back to the group as they walked out behind her. "Have you guys seen Hope?"

All besides Olly glanced around the front area. "I'll go check and see if he snuck back inside", said Gadot, turning to run off into the building.

Lebreau grabbed his arm. "Wait. There's Mr. Dornum, Hope's driver." Lebreau scurried over to the aged man. "Have you seen Hope?"

"He said he needed some air and was going to walk to the base. I was asked to pick up Ms. Farron and take her home."

Lebreau crossed her arms, peeved. "He would do something like that. Well that solves it. I'll see you later, soldier."

Lightning waved a halfhearted goodbye to everyone and turned back to her comm. "Alyssa, he already headed back to base. If you find him before I do, will you tell him that I want to speak with him." _Or knock his lights out, more like it._

"Oh, sure."

* * *

As Lightning got out of the car at the base, her comm rang again. She stood half in and half out of the car and answered it. _Alyssa_ "Yeah?"

"He hasn't checked in yet and I'm kind of worried. Are you sure he said he was coming here?"

Lightning felt slight panic settle into her stomach. _God damn it, Hope. Where are you?_ "Yeah, I'm-" Lightning caught a glimpse of Cocoon in the corner of her eye. "I have an idea of where he might be. I'll call you back if I find him." She hung up before receiving a response and got back in the car. "Can you take me to the Cocoon facility instead, please", she asked Dornum.

He smiled back at her. "Most certainly, ma'am."

"Please, call me Lightning."

* * *

Hope stood at the base of the pillar, staring into the crystalline structure. He put his hand on it, feeling its cold and smooth exterior. "I'm so sorry. It's not fair that we get to carry on with our lives while you're stuck in there, supporting all of the people who abhorred you." Hope's hand dropped to his side as he pressed his forehead against the crystal. "It seems... I can't save anyone. Not my family. Not my friends." A small tear wormed its way out of his eyes as he squeezed them shut. "But I'm trying. I want you to know that. Even if they find nothing, I'll keep trying and never stop. We will get you out of there. You hear me, Fang and Vanille?" He backed away a few inches, eyes searching the pillar for the place that they laid.

The Oerban women's fates always lied heavily within him. He couldn't stand that were stuck in that crystal pillar. Fang and Vanille had sacrificed their lives for Cocoon, even after having lost everything to it and the war before. There was no way that their destiny was to keep a dying planet alive in place of their own lives. Hope wasn't about to accept that. He couldn't.

Lightning ran into the hallway, bolting toward the enclosure that secured Cocoon's safety. As she rounded the corner, she spotted Hope staring at Cocoon, his back toward her. She sighed and walked toward him, trying to temper her boiling anger. "Hope", Lightning yelled.

Startled, he quickly turned toward her. "Oh, hey, Light. What's..." He stopped, noticing Lightning to be seething with rage. She walked toward him, balling her fists. "What's wrong?" Sincerely, he didn't know what he could have done this time. He was really getting tired of people yelling at him.

Lightning stopped mere inches from him. If she hadn't still felt so guilty for hitting him earlier, she would have decked him right in the jaw. "You just left", spoke Lightning through clenched teeth. She tried to calm herself, but was far too frustrated with him.

Hope cocked his head to the side. "That's what this is about? I told Dornum I was leaving and where I was going. Yes, I did end up changing my mind, but I had to check into the facility, so someone would have found out where I was."

"Alyssa's been trying to reach you. You apparently left your comm in your other pants pocket after the door incident. You should have called her the moment you realized it wasn't on you."

Hope's shoulders slumped as he looked off to the side. "But she should have been notified when-"

Lightning sighed and paced around him. "She was. She called me a few minutes before I got here and told me you'd signed in. But that's not the point, Hope." How could she get it through to him? She only wanted him safe, but he seemed hell-bent on ignoring the safety precautions and her earlier pleas. "You didn't tell us where you were going nor that you had even left." She stopped again in front of him, staring deep into his green eyes, hoping that this time she'd get through to him. "No one knew where you were, you don't have your communicator, and you have no one by your side to protect you." A fire seemed to rise behind Hope's emerald gaze and Lightning figured she'd struck a nerve.

"I'm not the weak child I was, Lightning. I don't need help. I don't need protection. I don't need you or anyone else throwing themselves on the line for me." He turned away from her and walked back toward the pillar, staring deep into its intricate structure.

Lightning clenched her jaw and fisted her hands as she stalked over to him. "Let's get one thing straight, Hope", bit Lightning as she grabbed his shoulder, pulling him around to face her. "I will always protect you. Whether you need it or not. You were never weak... and no, you are not a child, but you are the Director of the Academy. You are the leader of Academia. If they are targeted-" Hope went to look away, but Lightning grabbed his chin. "Hey, look at me." Bristling even more at the touch, he wrestled his chin from her grip, but locked his eyes back on hers. "If they are targeted, you're first. You're the one they'll come after. Do you really want to leave this place, your citizens, without a leader?"

Hope sighed harshly before crying out in frustration. He walked past her, brushing into her shoulder, but stopped a few paces away. "I never asked for this. Not any of it." His shoulders tensed with the weight of his thoughts. "I'm just-just tired. I'm tired of losing everyone and being so powerless to stop it. I hate it. I hate... myself." He blew out another sigh before turning back to face her. "My home... my friends are all stuck in that... crystal sphere for Maker knows how long." He squeezed his eyes shut. The thoughts were unbearable. "My mother died, right in front of me. And my father... he didn't have to... And for me", Hope stammered, distraught. "He did it for... I'm just... I can't handle losing another person. Especially if it's for my sake."

All of Lightning's previous fury had been extinguished by Hope's words and sorrowful expression. She had nothing left to say. "Hope."

He winced at his name. "No. You don't get it, Lightning. You don't have people throwing their lives away to save you. You... are strong, unstoppable. You protect and help others." Hope stared at her, wondering if he'd ever be half as strong as her. "You're not the weak invalid who constantly needs saved."

Unsure of what else to try, she hugged him again. His pulsing heartbeat raced in his chest and she could only hope that this would calm him. "It's okay, Hope. It's okay to need help, or even to have help when you don't." She released him and cupped his cheek with her hand as she stared into his eyes that were now filled with uncertainty. "It doesn't mean that you're a child or that you're weak. It means you're human. And a pretty important one." He sighed as she stepped back from him. "I promised you, I'd keep you safe. And I intend to keep that promise."

* * *

Her screams could be heard throughout much of the Ark. She sobbed and yelled at the top of her lungs until she could no longer speak. Yeul was dead. There was no denying it anymore. She had felt her death the moment it had occurred, she just hadn't wanted to believe it. She had failed her in the worst and most horrifying way possible.

What she didn't understand now was why she was still alive. They'd gotten the information they wanted. Yeul was now gone. But they kept her alive. She thought the only reason they'd taken her and tortured her in the first place was to use her against Yeul. But why now?

The woman laid strapped to a stone table, now silent and resigned. Her body, smeared and caked with blood and grime, was covered only by the mere tatters of her green outfit. Her long, green hair lay a mess, curled with sweat and half covering her despondent emerald eyes.

She couldn't take much more. She couldn't fight back. The one person she'd always fought for was gone. There was no point anymore.

She was encompassed by darkness. One small, flickering flame of a torch on the wall was the only thing that kept her from being swallowed by the shadows. In an attempt to preoccupy her mind from her crippling despair, she watched the flame's light dance along the walls with deadened eyes.

"How are we today", called a husky voice as a tall, muscular man came into the room. Sebastian stood over her, examining her expression. "You've been quiet for some time. Given up already?"

The woman paid no attention to him, intently watching the flame, as if clinging to its light.

He brought his hand up over her, a thundara spell sparking at his fingertips. He sent a large surge of electricity through her body, smiling as she cried out in pain, her voice hoarse.

She jolted, but refused to turn her gaze away from the torch. She wouldn't give in to him. He'd taken her precious Yeul from her. And he'd pay for that.

"Zalera", Sebastian sang. He twirled a strand of her long, ratty, green hair around his finger while sliding his other hand down her torso. His calloused hand slowly began heating up as he brought a small flame beneath it, burning her skin at the touch. Her jaw tightened and she let out a small whimper. "Zalera, look at me." When she refused, he pushed his hand deeper into the exposed skin of her stomach, scorching her flesh. "Look at me", he growled.

When she finally complied, he let go. She stared deeply into his being with ferocious rage, uncaring towards the searing, blistering pain in her abdomen.

Smiling, Sebastian cupped her cheek and brought his face over hers. "That's a good girl. You'll be having company soon enough and we want you on your best behavior." With that he turned and left the room, whistling on his way out.

Zalera laid there, knowing exactly who he was talking about. It was the man that Yeul had seen many times in her visions. The man that could either save or destroy the last of mankind _. If they get a hold of him, humanity won't survive. Nothing will._  


	7. Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If they get a hold of him, humanity won't survive. Nothing will.

An annoying beeping sound woke Lightning from her deep, dreamless sleep. She reached over and slammed her hand down on the alarm clock beside her. Rolling onto her back, Lightning stared at the ceiling, contemplating going back to sleep. She was still stuck off duty for a few more days, no one would miss her. She was doomed to spend her day lazing around her apartment, completely and utterly bored out of her mind.

Then she remembered her deal with Hope. She did have work to do. Quickly climbing out of bed and shaking the sleepiness from her limbs, she sped into the shower.

At six-twenty Lightning was showered and dressed. As she went to holster her gunblade, her communicator rang, echoing throughout the silent apartment. Although it was a number Lightning didn't recognize, she answered anyway. "Farron, here."

A women with a soft and smooth, yet confident tone answered on the other end. "Hello, this is Nivien La Salle. Is this Sergeant Farron?"

Lightning was stunned. Out of everyone in the world, she would have never guessed it to be La Salle. "Um... yeah."

"Sorry to call you out of the blue, but... are you seeing H-Director Estheim today?"

 _Why is she calling_ me _about Hope?_ "Yeah. I'm working with him today, actually."

There was a short pause on the other end of the line. "Oh... Well, I... I wanted to make sure that you knew what today was... in case no one told you."

Lightning furrowed her brow and put a hand on her hip. She had no idea that there was a significance to the day, but since it had only been four days since her awakening, she wasn't surprised in the least. Though she didn't understand why Nivien would be concerned about her knowing - concerned enough to get her number and call her herself. "I didn't know today was anything special, but... why are you telling me about it?"

There were a few muffled shouts on the other end of the line causing Lightning to wince at the sound. "Sorry about that. Um... well, it's not a special day, it's just... it's the anniversary. Hope's father... Bartholomew, he... he died a year ago today."

Lightning had been standing in front of the couch, but immediately sat down upon its edge. It hadn't even occurred to Lightning to ask about when the assassination attempt had happened. She just figured Hope would tell her about it when he was ready. "I... didn't know."

She could hear the lieutenant sigh over the phone, it causing a crinkling static to sound in her ear. "I figured. Hope doesn't talk about it much... or at all, really." Moments of silence crept by before Nivien continued. "I wanted to make sure you knew so you could... I don't know... look out for him? Make sure he's alright and try to be careful about the subject today. Hope really shouldn't be working, but", the lieutenant chuckled hollowly, "he never stops."

Rubbing her temple with her free hand, Lightning studied the floor. It seemed that Nivien cared deeply for Hope - enough to call an almost complete stranger to look out for him. "Thanks for the call. Of course I'll watch out for him."

"Alright, thank you. Have a good day... Lightning."

"Yeah, you too." Lightning sighed as she hung up and put her comm back in her pouch. Slouching and falling back into the couch, she pinched the bridge of her nose. She laughed bitterly as she thought about hers and Hope's arguments the day before. _'Did you learn nothing from the assassination attempt?' Maker, I'm such an idiot. I brought it up in one of the worst ways possible the day before the anniversary. I practically threw it in his face._ Lightning groaned. Now Hope's frustration the night before made perfect sense. _All of the stuff he said about his parents dying in front of him... for him. The pain is still fresh._

She hadn't wanted to dwell on Bartholomew's death and Hope's misery, so the fact that his death had been so recent, hadn't struck Lightning. A year can be a long time, but when it comes to the death of a loved one, it might as well have been the week before. Add in the fact that the event had been so traumatic, and that he hadn't had real emotional support - with his family dead and most of his friends gone - she wondered how Hope could even function.

* * *

Lightning knocked lightly on Hope's office door, her fist rasping against it gently yet firmly. When she heard nothing, she tried again. After the third try, she slowly opened the door, cautious to make sure another door-to-nose incident wouldn't ensue. Walking in, she closed the door behind her.

Looking around the office, she found Hope sprawled out on the sofa with a book open on his chest. He was still in his same clothes from dinner the day before and had some slight discoloration under his eyes from lack of sleep, so Lightning deduced that he hadn't gone home the night before. _He promised me he wouldn't work too late. I shouldn't have even let him work at all._

Cerulean orbs roved over his desk, noticing just how much work Hope had to do. The thick stack of paperwork that Lightning had noticed two days before had grown into a tower with a slightly smaller stack beside it keeping it company. She winced at the thought of how much work there was to be done - on one of the worst days to have to work - and walked over to him.

She picked up the worn-out, leather-bound book, slipping it out of his weak grasp. ' _Fabula Nova Crystallis', huh? I guess he decided to continue his research._ She looked at his sleeping form, concern and sadness washing over her. She knew how Hope would be when she woke him up and how he would act the rest of the day. He'd be a wreck on the inside, while putting on a smile and acting as if everything was fine.

She knew he'd be miserable for the remainder of the day, but for right now, he was serene. As long as he was asleep, the troubles of the real world couldn't touch him and neither could his pain from the year before.

Watching his chest slowly rise and fall, she sat beside him on the small space left on the couch. She brushed his bangs from his eyes and rested her hand on his face, cupping his cheek. The pinkette stayed like that for a few moments before her hand gently slid down to his chin, then to his collar, until it stopped on his chest. Her hand crept into his that sat there, previously clutching the book. It was the gentlest touch as she tried to not wake the peacefully sleeping man. She couldn't bear to bring him back to the reality that only sleep could steal him away from. Feeling his warm touch and his calm heartbeat under her hand, Lightning felt that indescribable emotion arrest her once again. It seemed it only occurred when she was around Hope.

Upon realization of what she was doing, her hand shot back to her side. _What is happening to me? This is Hope. I'm supposed to protect him, not..._ The soldier clumsily stood and took a few steps back from the sofa, grateful that she hadn't woken Hope up. Replaying the small span of events that had just taken place, she shook her head. "What am I doing", Lightning asked, whispering to herself.

Hope stirred, barely moving, but it was enough that it caused Lightning to jump out of her skin. She looked to the floor - calming herself for it was only Hope - before glancing back at him. Staring at his face, she couldn't rid herself of the new emotion that had wormed its way into her body. The woman wasn't sure she even wanted to. Walking back over to him, she knelt down in front of his face and traced a finger below his eye over the swollen bump she had caused. Then she brushed it along his bottom lip. Her heart beat wildly as her body registered her desire before her mind could. _This is ridiculous._ Before she could do anything else to the completely unaware Hope before her, she grasped his shoulder and shook him awake.

The young director groggily opened his eyes and slowly sat up. A slender hand came up, fingers rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he registered Lightning with him in the room. "Oh, hey, Light. What time is it?" Hope's wary gaze looked over his mentor's tense form. _She looks mad. I knew I should have stopped and gone home last night._ He looked around the couch for the book he'd been reading, but stopped when Lightning held it out for him.

Lightning fixed him with a stern eye, trying to cover her still reeling emotions. A part of Hope's hair was standing up, messily out of place from sleeping. It was unfortunately adorable and Lightning had to force her emerging smile back. "It's a quarter to seven. When did you fall asleep?" She tried to look deep into his eyes, hoping to convey her concern through her own, but felt herself drowning in his emerald gaze.

"I-I don't know, actually. I started reading around four, so sometime after that, I guess." Lightning crossed her arms and cocked her hip to the side, voicing her displeasure through her rigid stance. Hope sighed heavily through his nose as he stood up before putting a hand on her shoulder. "I know. You don't have to yell at me. I meant to go home... I just got caught up reading and crashed." He gave her his sweet look of innocence, pleading for her to let it lie.

The teen's grasp on her shoulder was gentle and warm. It made her crave his touch even more. After giving her his reasons for disobeying her orders, his eyes locked back on hers and she felt that feeling that she now knew only Hope could make her feel.

As he waited for her to respond, Hope saw an emotion pass over Lightning's face that he hadn't ever seen on the usually hardened soldier. And it scared him a little.

Confusion and concern crept into his expression and Lightning took a step back from him. _Today is about Hope's father. He shouldn't be concerned about me._ "Hope." She trembled as his name passed through her lips. _Willpower, Farron. Use it. This is just... you are a soldier._ "You should go home. Get some rest." Hope stared at her, obviously still concerned about her odd behavior.

"Is something wrong? Did I-" Hope stepped toward her, but she sidestepped around him and stood in front of the couch.

"No, you didn't do anything, but... you need your rest and-"

"You know. Don't you?" Hope cast his eyes down to the floor, biting his lip as he turned toward her.

Lightning knew what he was talking about and she was extremely grateful for his misinterpretation of her behavior. She shifted back into her commanding tone, attempting to slip into her usual self. "Really, you look like hell. You should go to bed. I can have Alyssa help me with the stuff I don't understand and do some of your work for you."

Hope brought his gaze back up to meet hers and smiled meekly. "No, Light, I'm fine." He stretched and went over to the table covered in odd metal parts. Opening the lone center drawer, he took out a stack of clothes. He always kept a couple spare uniforms in his office for these times. "I'll just take a shower in the shop, get changed and meet you back here in a half hour. Sound good?" He shut the drawer and quietly awaited a reply, keeping his gaze pointedly out of view.

The pinkette arched a brow. _So that's how you never leave the office._ "I can handle this. It's not like you're opting out of work entirely, you're covered."

"No", Hope answered sternly. Lightning was visibly taken aback by his harsh tone. "I need to work. I'm okay... really." Lightning reached out to give him a reassuring squeeze on the arm, but he jerked away from her. "Please don't do this, Light."

Hope's request thoroughly confused her. "Do what?"

He rubbed his eyes with the thumb and forefinger of his free hand before looking at her. His eyes were filled with unrestrained emotion and he knew it. "It's enough that I'll have to face everyone else today. See their sad and concerned faces, hear their apologies. They'll do their best to comfort me, but I don't want their pity. I just want to get through today, okay?" He stared at the clothes in his hand and absentmindedly rubbed his shirt between his fingertips, trying to keep his mind off of the traumatic events that would not leave him be. "I thought that maybe I would catch a break since you didn't know, but I guess... you found out."

Lightning took in his words. It took all of her to not give him that pitiful expression that he despised. Instead she walked over to him and gave him a small hug, patting him gently on the back. Immediately she switched into soldier mode as she backed off, giving him exactly what he wanted. Detachment from emotion. "Alright, Director. Get your ass in gear then." She waved toward the door, urging him off.

Hope smiled, thanking the heavens for whatever it was that awoke Lightning. He knew she was what would make this day bearable. He smiled and walked toward the door, stopping just before he passed through. "Thanks, Light", said Hope with sincere gratitude. With that, he left.

* * *

The workshop was empty. No one was due for another two hours so Hope had the floor to himself. There were three showers in the back of the shop. He undressed and threw his clothes to the ground carelessly. Stepping into the first shower, he pulled the curtain closed and turned the water on. For the first few moments, he just stood there, letting the hot water run down his body, attempting to wash away his growing sorrow. He leaned heavily against the wall as the memories ran through his mind.

He remembered everything. Every single detail. The whole incident had only taken a few minutes, but it had felt like an eternity as he had watched his father fall to the floor, clutching his chest in pain. As his father hit the ground, the man aimed his gun at a frozen Hope and was seconds from firing. Hope could have died right there, but the gunman had been shot dead from behind. Immediately snapping out of his shock, Hope knelt by his father and grabbed onto his shirt, shaking him. His eyes were closed... he wasn't breathing... he was gone. When it had been over, his father and three men had lost their lives in exchange for his own. And just like with his mother, he hadn't gotten to say goodbye.

Hope shook his head _. I can't do this. I'll never get through today if I keep letting my mind fall back there._

* * *

After Hope left, Lightning walked over to his desk and dropped into his chair. Shifting into work mode, she grabbed a handful of papers from the immensely intimidating stack on his desk, hoping to get something done before her stubborn friend returned. The papers' subjects varied widely. Some were construction plans for future cities. Some were mission requests. Some were proposals and plans for future projects and inventions. Some were letters from businesses hoping to work with the Academy. And some were papers Lightning could hardly understand as they seemed to be written in some form of code. She sighed and laid the papers on the keyboard of Hope's open laptop. "I can't do anything." Realizing that she hated Hope's job even more than she had before, she closed her eyes and raked her hand through her hair. She wanted to help him and she was going to, he deserved the help, but she wasn't sure how. _I guess I should just wait until he gets back._

Her arm fell back to her side, sitting on the arm rest as she kept her eyes closed. Her thoughts turned back to where they seemed to always land when she let her mind wander. To Hope. The way she had begun to think about him, the way she had felt near him, and the way her hands had seemed magnetized to him while he was asleep, baffled her. Those things had never happened to her around anyone else. It's not something pre-l'Cie Lightning had ever experienced. She began to realize that she was becoming a bit too familiar with Hope, but she wasn't sure if that was a bad thing. They were becoming close. It was bound to happen sometime, with someone. But Hope? Serah had been the only one Lightning had ever allowed inside her heart. Although it was hard to imagine letting Hope in, she couldn't imagine it being anyone else. _But what does this mean? What is it that I feel for you Hope?_

A soft knock on the door freed Lightning from her thoughts. Before she could answer, the door opened as Alyssa popped her head inside.

"Hello? I-" Alyssa's smile shrunk seeing Lightning in Hope's chair, obviously startled by the unexpected difference in her morning routine. "Oh, hi, Lightning. I didn't expect to find you in here. Do you need something?" She walked over to the desk, staring at the papers strewn across it.

Lightning crossed her arms, uncaring towards the girl's prying gaze. "No", the soldier simply stated.

Alyssa raised a brow at Lightning's curt reply. "Oh, well... Where is the Director, anyway?"

"He went to take a shower." Lightning figured it was best to keep her replies short and to-the-point in order to stave off any unwanted conversation with the perky assistant. She may not come off as the nicest person in the world, but it's not like she ever cared about that much before.

"Well, if there is anything that you wanted to speak with him about, I'm sure I could help you with it. The Director is a very busy per-"

"There isn't."

Alyssa frowned, unsure as to why Lightning was being so standoffish. She reached over Lightning to rearrange and clear some of the papers on Hope's desk, but the soldier grabbed her wrist.

"That's not necessary. I'm looking over these."

Miffed, Alyssa took a step back and put her hands on her hips, fixing Lightning with a look she had never seen on the usually cheery girl before. "No offense, Lightning, but much of the Director's work is very complicated... not to mention classified. I'm sorry, but I think I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Icy eyes darted up to Alyssa's. She sighed and rolled her eyes. _Looks like she's not going away anytime soon._ "Hope already knows I'm here." Alyssa's expression softened, her posture still rigid with apparent agitation. "I'm helping him today. He said that I could."

At that, Alyssa backed off. "Oh... I... guess that's fine. I wasn't sure he would be working today though, because of... well... plus he worked so late last night. But it's not like that's unusual."

Hearing that, Lightning felt herself click into protective mode. "And you just let him?" Lightning stood and walked towards her, backing her into a corner. The intimidating aura surrounding the soldier caused Alyssa's eyes to widen as she hit the wall behind her. "You just let Hope work himself to death and say absolutely nothing to him? You knew he was here last night when he should have been asleep? What's the matter with you? Do you just smile and do whatever he asks? Some friend you are."

Although Alyssa was afraid of the Lightning before her, she spoke, justifying herself and her actions. "With all do respect, he isn't my friend."

"What", spat Lightning, having not expected that reply.

"As much as I wish we were, we aren't friends", responded Alyssa shakily, her voice slowly gaining strength. "Hope has made it quite clear that we have a working relationship. He is simply my boss. I have no real say in his actions. I have expressed my concern about his over dedication to his job before, but really, it's not my place."

* * *

Hope walked towards his office, but stopped as he grabbed the handle, remembering the reason he had stayed up all night. The urgent message Alyssa had tried to get to Hope the day before was about the crystal mission. After Hope had finally managed to get a hold of Alyssa, and after hearing what she had to say, he wished he hadn't heard any of it at all.

They had found nothing. Thirty men, including Sazh and Rygdea, had searched throughout all of Etro's shrine and found nothing. Now they were coming back and were going to have to reevaluate the whole plan to see if it was worth the manpower and resources to continue their search. As much as he hated the thought, Hope knew the likeliness of the mission's continuance and it wasn't very likely. If the crystals truly existed, they could be anywhere throughout all of Gran Pulse. They couldn't search everywhere and they really needed to focus most of their time on rebuilding their civilization as well as protecting it.

It had been a long shot in the first place, but Hope had believed that this plan would work. While he was searching for possible locations of the crystals, Etro's shrine seemed like one of the most logical places. It's the reason why the mission's success and future continuance hindered on what they found there. He truly thought they would find a piece there. It was not only the logic behind the location, but the feeling Hope had gotten at the idea. He felt drawn to it. Like something inside him had told him that a crystal shard was there.

But despite the logic and Hope's strong vibe, it wasn't. And now he was going to have to tell Lightning. He let out a shaky breath and eased himself into his office. He shut the door behind him and turned to find a very pissed Lightning standing in front of a cowering Alyssa in the corner. _What in the world?_ "Um... Light? Alyssa? What's-"

Alyssa smiled, stepping around Lightning. "Director, we were just..." Alyssa stopped momentarily, glancing at Lightning, who was now staring at the wall. "...just having a chat about some paperwork. How are you today? You look a little tired."

Hope, furrowing his brow at Lightning, replied, "I'm alright." He walked over to his desk and shuffled around some papers, hoping to move off the topic of his health. "I have a lot of paperwork to get through today and Lightning will be assisting me with them. If you could take notes for me at the one o'clock meeting and meet with the... Smith Tech company for me at three, I would greatly appreciate it."

Alyssa shifted, crinkling her nose minutely. It was her job to be at Hope's side. Wasn't Lightning supposed to be off protecting the city, or something? "Of course, Director, but you know I could help you with some of your paperwork as well?" She bounced a bit uneasily on her heels and folded her hands behind her back.

Not looking up from a page he was staring intently at, he waved her off. "That would be unnecessary, but thank you."

The blonde frowned a bit before putting on her usual smile and turning toward the door. "Alright then."

As Alyssa closed the door, Hope turned toward Lightning. She was still staring at the previously occupied corner, arms crossed, looking extremely displeased. "What was that really about?"

The pinkette turned to face him, her expression remaining intact. "I'm not fond of your assistant", was all she said as she walked over to help Hope with his work.

For the next five hours, Hope and Lightning buckled down on the pages on his desk. Through this, Lightning learned much more about Hope's job as well as the numerous functions of the Academy.

Many previous and new companies and businesses wanted assistance from them. Most wanted sponsorships, partnerships and construction approvals. In order to consider their proposals, Hope and Lightning looked them over and investigated the companies and businesses to make sure they were legitimate and would be prospectively successful, before ultimately approving or denying their requests.

After conquering all of those proposals, they moved on to the plans for future and current inventions and projects. They ranged from small plans like upgrades on weapons to much larger plans like the shield project that Hope and Maqui were intimately involved with. Looking over the blueprints, Lightning found she didn't understand much of the specifications, but with Hope's extensive background in mechanics, he handled most of them while giving her simple explanations and descriptions.

The work was tedious and boring, but with each other's company, it was bearable. Almost arguably fun. Even with the dull topics and work, Hope's kind and funny personality shone through, as well as Lightning's. No matter how much she tried to keep her soldier, business front up, Hope managed to pull out pieces of her true self with little effort.

At one point, as Lightning was reading over a page and laughing at one of Hope's grumblings about needing an assistant for his assistant, he couldn't help but stare at her smile. He loved how it made him feel, especially since he was one of the few that could coax it into appearing. It showed her soft side that she rarely let others see. He knew, even if she would never say it, that she cared about him a lot. Although he'd initially been reluctant to receive her help, he cherished her presence and assistance.

At around twelve thirty, the duo moved on to mission requests. This made Hope a bit hesitant to continue. He had yet to tell her about the status of the crystal mission. Knowing that he should tell her before it inevitably came up along the way, he halted their progress.

"Light?" Hope stood and walked around to the front of the desk, leaning on it with his hands grasping it at his sides. Since they had started working, they'd moved the couch much closer to the desk so Lightning would have a place to sit while she worked. It was only a few feet away from the front of the desk, and now, only a few feet from Hope. Lightning was sitting sideways, back against the armrest, legs extended in front of her, with a fresh handful of documents in her lap.

Eyes still scanning the paper before her, she hummed in response. When Hope didn't continue, she turned her head to face him. His expression was full of conflicting emotions, making her uneasy. He was staring directly at her and she knew that it had to be serious. Shoving the papers off of her, she slid her legs off the couch, sat up, and gave her full attention to the man before her. "Yeah, Hope?"

"I really should have said something earlier, but... I wasn't sure what to say. I still don't really know what to say." He rubbed the back of his head, a reflexive action he usually made when things were tense. Staring at the floor, he tried to find the right words that would make things go smoother, but in truth, Hope wasn't sure how she would react to his next words no matter how he spun it. She could be pissed and angry at the mission's failure and for him not telling her sooner. She could get sad and depressed because of her sister. Or she could stay stoic, only revealing her true emotions to herself later.

Swallowing harshly, he brought his eyes back up to meet her blue orbs. Even though Lightning was exceptional at hiding her emotions, he couldn't help but notice the hint of nervousness in her eyes. He felt a tad prideful knowing that not many people could decipher her emotions at all. "They didn't find anything, Light..." He waited a few moments until understanding crept into her expression. "It's the reason I was reading the book so late last night. I was trying to find more clues."

Lightning wasn't sure how to take the news. She had known that there was a large chance that the crystal wouldn't be there. But a faint glimmer of hope had toyed with her and her emotions. That hope, as well as the one before her, had left her wanting the piece of crystal to be there more than she should have ever allowed herself. "So what does that mean? Where do we go from here?" Hope's face seemed to fall even more, and she knew that the news couldn't get better from there.

He cleared his throat, attempting to dislodge the apprehension clogging it. "We... or I go over the plans again with the general and Rygdea. We decide if it's worth searching more possible locations."

As much as Lightning tried to hold back her optimistic expression, Hope noticed it all the same. "They might continue with the plan?"

It crushed him to have to tell her, but he had to. "The whole mission really depended on this one, and without its success, I highly doubt that they'll move forward... with the plan." Hope watched as the smallest amount of pain seemed to cross her face.

"But-" Lightning tried to stay calm. She didn't want to let her emotions flow freely, even if it was only Hope, but she found it incredibly hard to keep them reined in. All of her fear, guilt and love for her sister came to the forefront of her mind and her heart at that moment. She hadn't realized before how much stock she'd really put into the mission. The news made her heart hurt. She clutched her chest, trying desperately to keep herself in check.

Noticing how badly Lightning was taking it, Hope pushed his papers off the couch and sat beside her. Without a second thought, he pulled her into an embrace. Although the contact was relatively new between the two, it had become a reflex that neither could deny.

Feeling Hope around her, she felt her will break. Her control over her emotions cracking quickly until it was nothing but dust. A few tears slipped through her eyes as she sat there in his arms. Suddenly she felt a rush of frustration fly through her. Like with the lamp the other day, she just had to throw or hit something. With only Hope in her nearest proximity, she began to hit and punch his chest, letting out all of her anger. She wasn't mad at Hope, not in the least. In fact she was actually grateful for his comfort and honesty. But as she had lost her struggle for dominance over her emotions, she couldn't control her need to destroy.

Hope never let her go. Even as her blows began to hurt him, he continued to hold her, knowing it was what she needed. If being her punching bag allowed her to let out her grief, then that's what he'd be. He felt honored to be allowed to see her raw emotion.

As minutes ticked by, Lightning calmed considerably until she was still, remaining quiet. She let out one last sniffle before pulling away from him. She felt embarrassment strike her as her mind finally began to temper her storm of feelings. Mentally scolding herself, Lightning wiped away the last remnants of tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Hope smiled before getting up to pick up her papers. After setting them back on the couch, the young director returned to his desk. He was fully aware of how she felt about exposing herself. Even though they were close, to Lightning, there was no excuse. She always wanted everyone to think that vulnerability was something she didn't have. And he'd just seen an immense portion of it. "For what", he asked coolly. Grabbing a page from the pile of mission briefs, he was careful to try and seem as if nothing had happened, falling back into his work.

Lightning looked at him, confused until she understood his gesture. He was attempting to spare her the shame she would no doubt put on herself. "Thank you", was all she said before picking up her papers from the couch and assuming her previous position.

Although Hope had been unbelievably kind in pretending that she hadn't made a total fool of herself, Lightning still beat herself up on the inside. _I can't believe I did that. I have no right. Not when it's his father's... Serah is still alive. It's me that should be helping him with his grief not the other way around._

The mission briefs and requests were a bit more interesting than the rest of his paperwork, but still left her bored out of her mind. They were mostly about missions on mapping out Pulse. They still had a lot more of the world to discover, and who knew how much they were going to continue to explore. The rest were about surveying possible city locations. With those, all Hope had to do was consider them, look over the location, the time and money that was proposed, and approve or deny them before sending them back to the Calvary to go over with construction crews.

Finishing up around three, Hope and Lightning's brains were spent. As Hope readied himself to shift into mechanic gear and go to work on his shield project, Lightning stopped him. She wanted him to relax some and decided that they should take a late lunch. He reluctantly agreed, realizing that it would be good for a brief reprieve from work.

* * *

It was a gorgeous day as the sun shone brightly through the clouds. With the beautiful weather in mind, Hope had suggested that they eat their lunch outside. He even knew of a great street vendor in a kiosk called Academia's Finest. The woman who served the pair, as well as owned the small business, was an elderly woman of sixty five named Jun. It seemed that she and Hope knew each other rather well and that the woman adored him. After talking with her for a few minutes while waiting for their food, Hope and Lightning made their way over to the stone steps in front of the Academy base.

Sitting, they ate in silence for a while until Lightning sighed. "So, Jun seems nice."

Hope nodded, turning slightly to look at her. "She is. She's really nice."

"You guys seem pretty chummy. Do you just eat there a lot or..."

"I used to, but... I guess I got too caught up with work and started working through lunch, so it's been a while."

Lightning sensed Hope was holding something back so she pressed further. "And..."

Hope raised a brow in return. "And what?"

"Nothing", Lightning replied, conveying through her tone that she knew of his half-truth.

When he had finished eating, Hope leaned back on the stone steps, relaxing. He couldn't even remember the last time he had eaten lunch, let alone enjoyed it. It was amazing how something so simple could make him feel so elated and at ease. The food, atmosphere, company was all perfect. Yet he felt he was about to ruin it all with one question that threatened to tumble from his lips. It had been nagging at him for the better part of a half an hour, and in not wanting to upset his beautiful temporary coworker, he'd kept his trap shut. But seeing as their lunch was drawing to a close, Hope felt the need to ask arise.

"Light, I have a question for you, but you don't have to answer if you don't want to", started Hope, staring into the sky.

The question broke Lightning from her thoughts and caught her off guard. "Shoot." The soldier looked at Hope to find him staring off into the clouds, his eyes glazed over like he was worlds away. She was about to jostle him when he spoke.

"Does the pain ever lessen?" He never took his eyes away from the sky as his tone remained even, words clear, despite the heaviness of them. "Of a loved one's death, I mean."

"What?" Lightning blinked in surprise at the question that seemed to come from nowhere. Then again, the whole day was one constant reminder for Hope about one of the worst days of his life. Struggling to find a suitable answer, Lightning mulled over her response in her head.

Hope ran his hand down his tie, awaiting an answer that seemed would never come. "It's alright, Light. Like I said, you don't have to answer."

"No", she replied quickly. "I want to, just..." Hope was trying to talk out his problems. He had been there for her, why couldn't she muster up the courage to be there for him? She just never allowed herself to remember her parents' deaths or the emotional toll they had put on her and Serah. "I don't think I'm the right person to ask."

"Why not?"

"I'd like to say yes, that with time the pain lessens and slowly fades, but... I think that... I forced it to fade. By not letting myself dwell on my past, I cut off most of my emotions with them." She searched Hope's face for a sign of understanding, but his expression hadn't changed. Looking up into the sky, she hoped to find the same peace he seemed to hold. "I do think of them every once in a while, it's hard to push them out completely, so I do feel the pain sometimes. Like I said, I'm not the person to ask." A pregnant pause followed her answer.

"Thank you."

Lightning's brows furrowed as she looked at Hope, scanning his face for any hint of sarcasm or insincerity. She was stunned, figuring her answer to have been no help at all. "But I-"

Hope, finally breaking his eyes away from the glowing sky, looked into the young woman's confused gaze. "You told me how you honestly felt. You didn't give me some cheap answer in an attempt to make me feel better. Thank you, Light."

She felt an odd mixture of pride and courage soar into her chest as he smiled at her. Maybe sharing her thoughts and feelings wasn't so bad. "Hope, do you want to… never mind." It was a stupid idea. _He already has to think about his father's death, bringing up that would just be wrong and painful._

Sitting up, he gave her his full attention. "What?"

 _Too late._ She had already brought it up. Might as well finish what she started. "I was just wondering if you... wanted to know how my parents died." She averted her gaze from him, but Hope gently pressed his hand to her cheek opposite him, and turned her face to look at him.

"Yes, but only if you want to tell me." His eyes were full of such certainty, such confidence that it reminded her of the boy he once was. Back when he had given them his speech before their journey into Pulse.

Straightening herself up and focusing mainly on fact and memory, not emotion, she prepped her mind. "My father died when I was six. It was a head on collision and my mother had been in the car with him. They said it was a miracle she survived, but it was as if a piece of her died in there with him... My sister was too young to notice, being three and all. Hell, I hadn't really noticed until almost two years later." Lightning sighed. "She never looked at another car the same way again. And the way she hugged us, there was such desperation in her eyes, like she thought that every time she embraced us, it would be the last." Her hair had fallen into her eyes covering Hope's expression from her view, but she preferred it that way. That way she couldn't talk herself out of finishing. "Although Serah had always said that she was jealous of me because she couldn't remember our father, I always wished that I didn't. I know now that the thought is unbelievably childish, but... By the time I was fifteen, my mother had gotten deathly ill. My sister and I had to watch our mother slowly die for months before her heart finally gave out."

When she had finished, Hope didn't know what to say. When Lightning had told him about her parents before, he thought that they had died together, not that it had been two separate incidents. It seemed they were more alike than he thought. But he couldn't believe she had told him something so personal. It was so unlike her. Throughout the whole day she had actually been really sloppy with hiding her feelings. It should have made him feel excited and ecstatic about their friendship finding more depth with them becoming closer. Instead, he felt slightly anxious that something may be wrong.

He had been known to worry too much. His mind often slipped into paranoia, but with the many terrible and tragic events in his past, how could it not? It often seemed as though he would have a few blessed moments, just to have it all stripped away in a cataclysmic event that would leave him with nothing.

Quickly, he brushed off the feelings and thoughts threatening his new happiness. Lightning was letting him in. Although her story had left him deeply saddened by her previous, and most likely still very current pain, he couldn't stop the small feeling of joy from rising within him. He had never dreamed the soldier, his mentor, great friend, and secret love of his life would ever open up to him this much. Especially so soon after her awakening. It meant he was doing something right. Before too much time had passed, he gently clasped her hand in his, and squeezed it.

The words had come much easier then she thought they would. She hadn't told anyone about her parents' deaths, but it was so easy when she told Hope. She wasn't completely sure why she told him. It was wrong of her and she knew it. It was his day to grieve. A part of her though, knew exactly why she had. She thought that maybe by telling him, he would tell her. About what happened with his father. About how he felt. Maybe it would elicit him to deal with the pain and not bury it like she had for so long. He was becoming so much like her already, she really didn't think he needed to learn anything else from her.

When he took her hand, she was startled, but after he squeezed it, she felt that warm feeling overtake her once more. So, she squeezed back. Staring at his face, slight concern about his previous injury crept over her. "How's the eye?"

The corner of Hope's lip twitched upwards. "How's the leg?" They chuckled softly, both aware that neither of them cared much for their injuries at the moment.

As he went to speak, his comm went off, breaking the fragile serenity. Lightning quickly broke the contact, turning her attention back to the slowly drifting clouds. Groaning inwardly, Hope reached for it and answered. "Director Estheim... Right...No...I'll be right there, Alyssa...Thanks." Hope hung up and put his hand on Lightning's shoulder. "Time to get back to work. Care to join me in a meeting?"

Lightning rolled her eyes. "Oh joy." She smiled at him and stood, holding out her hand to help him up.

* * *

Managing to get to a meeting early for once, even if it was only by a few minutes, Hope was proud of himself. He sat beside Lightning in a companionable silence, awaiting their third party member.

At exactly four o'clock on the dot, a knock sounded from the door. Alyssa then came in, followed by a man. Lightning considered him for a moment. He was tall, a little over six feet, with a lean build, well dressed in a suit and tie, with shoulder length black hair. His profile spoke business and his smug smirk spoke of a heightened upper-class arrogance, but the look in his eyes as he spotted Hope spoke of a trustworthy ally.

"Here we are, Mr. Hildough. Director... Lightning." Alyssa nodded toward the two and left.

Hope stood and went to shake his hand. "It's been a while, Reuben."

The man grinned and accepted the gesture, taking Hope's hand in a vice-like grip, nearly crushing it. "Too long, kid Director." He let out a throaty laugh as Hope rolled his eyes and they took their seats. His voice was deep and had a rough edge to it, but the ambassador had a very sharp and crisp way of speaking. "And who is our lovely company today?"

Hope turned to Lightning with a gentle smile. "This is Sergeant Lightning Farron. She's a good friend of mine and is helping me out with some things today. And, Light, this is Reuben Hildough, Representative of Academia."

Reuben went to shake her hand and was taken aback by her strong hold. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Lightning gave him a small smile in return. "Likewise."

Moving on topic, Hope clapped his hands together. "So, I assume you've spoken with the General?"

Reuben turned his gaze away from Lightning, seeming a bit reluctant, and looked back at Hope. "I have. He has explained to me the Yeul situation. That poor girl. I understand you think she was some sort of psychic?"

"We have reason to believe so. We aren't sure, but we do need to know if the Sanctum has had any involvement in her death, or if they know anything about her at all. It will lead to how we continue to treat the situation."

Reuben shifted slightly in his seat. "I am flattered at how confident you are in my skills, but you do know this is the Sanctum right? Most likely anything I say or do will be a futile attempt. I mean, yes, they are willing to negotiate and work on some things with me, but this..."

Hope nodded. "Yes, we are well aware. But it is mainly a precaution. We want to cover all of our bases just in case. To them, it won't be the real reason you're there anyway. Just a side discussion you will bring up while informing them of our expansion and discussing more about our current trade negotiations."

A soft knock caught everyone's attention as they turned to look at the door. "Yes", called Hope.

Alyssa stepped partially inside the door. "May I speak with you, Director? It's a bit urgent."

"Of course. If you'll excuse me for a moment."

After they stepped out, the room was overcome with silence before Reuben spoke. "So, you would not happen to be the previous l'Cie, Lightning, would you?"

"That I am."

"Ah, I see. I have heard stories of your great feats of strength and your constant challenging of the impossible. I must say I am quite impressed." He smoothed out the front of his jacket with his hand as he sat up straighter. "Although I thought our good Director had been overstating your unbelievable beauty, I was mistaken."

Lightning shifted uncomfortably in her seat at the flattery. She wasn't sure how to handle the situation. In most other cases, Lightning had always told anyone who dared to approach the hardened soldier to buzz off, usually not even in that nice of a way. But this was a powerful man that Hope worked very closely with and seemed to be friends with. Even though Hope seemed to be friends with everyone, she had to be courteous and gracious. It wasn't that the man wasn't attractive, or that he didn't seem very kind, it was simply that she wasn't interested. She went to speak, but stopped when the door opened.

"Terribly sorry about that", apologized Hope as he stepped into the room. Reuben stood as he entered.

"No, it is quite alright. I best be off now anyway. I have another meeting to attend and arrangements to make before I head off to the city of the ignorant, pig-headed, Sanctum."

Hope chuckled and Lightning couldn't help but smile. "Already? Well, alright, we must meet up sometime soon. It's been far too long."

"Yes, well, Miss Harleen will be having her annual soiree in due time."

Hope rubbed the back of his neck. "Right, wouldn't want to miss that."

Reuben chuckled and clapped Hope on the shoulder. "I am sure she will not be so forward this time." He turned to Lightning as she made her way over to the two. "And I do hope you come along too. It would be a blessing to have such an astonishing young women in our midst." Hope averted his gaze to the floor as Reuben and Lightning shook hands, the representative slipping a card into her grasp. "Well, I am off." He left the room to Hope and Lightning.

Hope shook his head and smiled as he glanced at Lightning. "Get his card?"

Lightning was quite intrigued as to how he knew. She opened her palm to see, and there was Hildough's business card. "How'd you know?"

Hope shrugged his shoulders. "I had a hunch." Lightning raised a brow at him. "It was obvious enough he was interested, and I'm usually pretty dense when it comes to flirtation. Plus, who wouldn't take the chance to hit on you?" Hope grinned as Lightning scoffed and elbowed him in the ribs.

Over the next few hours, Hope worked on more poles and wiring for the shield project, all the while explaining the basics of the construction and having Lightning help with minor things. The wiring was the most intricate and time-consuming thing which took a lot of concentration, so there wasn't much conversation to be had between the two. By the time he had finished with a second pole, Lightning cut him off.

"Light, I-"

Lightning shook her head before taking his gloves off his hands. "No, you need rest. And you owe me for yesterday."

Hope sighed and resigned himself to her will. "Why do I get the feeling I'm going to be working a lot less with you around?"

"Yeah, yeah. And you are going home. I will drag you back to that house if I have to."

Hope walked over to the corner where his jacket hung on a hook and snatched it up. He put it back on, buttoning it up as he walked back over to Lightning. "That won't be necessary, but I do have to stop back in my office."

Lightning turned and began walking back towards the door. "Then I'll accompany you", she called over her shoulder.

Hope smirked as he followed.

* * *

They entered Hope's office and he immediately went over to his bookshelf, grabbing a few books. Lightning frowned at the sight of the new pile of papers on his desk. It wasn't near the size of the old one, but it was well on its way, being a third of the previous stack in only a few hours. "That's depressing."

Hope looked over his shoulder and smiled. "Yeah, it kinda is, isn't it?" He stepped away from the shelves and brought four books over to his desk.

"Those aren't going home with you. You're going home to rest, not to continue working under the guise of reading", Lightning scolded, putting a hand on her hip.

Hope gave her a crooked grin. "Compromise? Come on, Light, I gotta do something."

"Yeah, relax. That's all you need to do."

Hope blew out a sigh. "Fine." He walked over and fell onto the couch. Lightning, still as tense as ever, remained in her stance. "Light?"

She joined his side. "What?"

"Why did you tell me about your parents?" Her shoulders tensed as her eyes darted away from him. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you did, but... why?"

Sighing, Lightning thought hard about what to say. She was completely unprepared for the question and wasn't sure how to answer it. Deciding to go with the one reason she knew, she turned to face him. "I didn't want you to keep your pain bottled up... like I do." Hope looked down at his hands as they played with his sleeve. "I thought that maybe if I told you... showed you that I could, you would too." She tried to look into his eyes, but he kept them focused on his sleeve. "I'm sorry. It was wrong and... manipulative-"

"Don't." Hope looked back up into her eyes. "Don't apologize. I'm grateful for your concern, really, Light, I am, but..." He stopped. He didn't want to talk about it. He knew once he did, there would be no turning back. Truth was, he wasn't sure he could handle it and he didn't need to break down in front of her. But she was right. She had told him something equally painful. It was only fair that he shared as well. "I-I guess I could, but..." A slow smile came to his face as he hoped to lighten the mood some before undoubtedly darkening it soon enough. "...only if I get to take my books home."

Lightning rolled her eyes at his childishness. "Fine."

His victory was short lived and his smile faded as he swallowed. "We were on the fifth floor of the building. My... dad had called me in to discuss some things about Sanctum city. W-we had been receiving threats from them for a while, but the number of them had grown significantly within the past few weeks. Because of that, he wanted to keep me... safe. He was going to put me on lock down in our house guarded by G.C. Soldiers."

Hope stood and walked over to the table on the left side of the room. Pressing on took immense strength and keeping his words even took a hardy amount of control. It was as if he was slipping back into that day. As if he was still that naive and stubborn idiot that had frozen up like a coward. "Of course, I refused. I didn't want to be cowering in my house while others had to deal with the threat. So we began arguing and... I was so stupid. I should have just..." He began fiddling with some of the mechanical parts on the table, keeping his hands busy.

"Anyway, next thing I knew, we we hearing gunshots. Two guards went down in front of us." Hope's breath hitched. "It all happened so fast. The shooting... the shouts. I couldn't even see who was shooting until my father had been hit. I-just... and I froze. When my father fell to the ground, it was like I couldn't move."

"Then I saw the man. He had been disguised in a G.C. uniform. I heard shouts from... Nivien behind me telling me to move and to get down, but I couldn't move my legs. I thought for sure that I was going to die, but then... he was shot in the back of the head. He was dead and so was my father. I-"

He stopped abruptly. Lightning felt her heart ache. His back was to her but she could see his shoulders tense and heard him sniffle. Walking over to him she put her arms around him and rested her head on his back. She could feel his ragged breathing as he attempted to keep calm.

They stood there for a while before he continued. "I didn't even get to say goodbye. He was just gone."

Lightning let go of him and tugged on his sleeve so he would turn around. He easily complied. Wiping away some of the tears from his eyes, she then rested her hand on his cheek. He brought his hand up, covering hers. A tingling feeling coursed through her body at the contact. "We should get going", Lightning suggested before stepping away.

Hope collected himself along with his things for the next few minutes and was almost ready to head out when his door opened to reveal Maqui.

Hope went to speak, but Lightning talked over him. "Don't you knock?" She was sitting on the couch, arms crossed.

The mechanic grinned. "Perks to being the Director's best friend."

"Whatever, Maqui. You make those perks up yourself", Hope mused.

Walking over, he clapped Hope on the back. "What, it's not like I interrupted anything, right?"

Shaking his head, Hope pushed him back a few steps. "What did you want?"

His face turned serious as he rubbed his arm, feeling uncomfortable. He knew he should have just run away from Lebreau. The woman never asked him for any good favors. "I just didn't get a chance to see you today and I, uh..."

Hope smirked. "Lebreau sent you here didn't she?"

"Hey, it's not like I don't care about you. I just don't have the need to fuss over you like she does." Maqui huffed and crossed his arms.

Chuckling, Hope turned toward him. "You can tell her that I'm fine."

"Good." The blond watched as Hope grabbed the last of his things. Lightning stood and walked over, making Maqui visibly cringe a bit, causing her to smile. She insisted on taking a few of Hope's books off his hands before they all stepped out of Hope's office and waited as he locked it. Maqui decided to take the chance to voice his own concern for his friend before he lost it. "I am sorry, Hope."

The young Estheim turned and put a hand on Maqui's shoulder. "Thanks."

* * *

Hope stood alone in his empty house. Lightning had walked him home, and left only after threatening him that if he left before a decent time in the morning, his eye would be the least of his worries.

He walked into his study and set the books down on his desk. As he was ready to sit and read through them all, one in particular, exhaustion began to settle into his body. He rubbed his eyes and stretched out, attempting to liven his tired body, but it was no use. Hope was beat.

Going back to his bedroom, he stumbled over his clothing from the day before. When he picked them up, an envelope fell from his pocket and floated to the floor. The memory of the previous day and the envelope made its way into his mind at the sight of it. Throwing his clothes over to the bed, Hope picked up the envelope. He turned on his bedside lamp and sat on the edge of the bed. With the situation the day before, Hope hadn't had the time to ponder about his discovery, its contents, or its curious location. With a bit of trepidation, he opened the envelope. Hope's breath hitched in his throat. It was a letter.

And it was written in his father's handwriting.

_Dear Hope,_

_First of all, I want to say that I'm sorry. You reading this means that I am gone. No matter the reason for my death, I am sorry._

_I decided to write this in dedication to your mother. She had always tried to get me to write one and seeing how much you cherish her letter, I figured it was about time to write my own. I always told Nora that the reason I never wanted to write one of these was because it was bad luck. That once you wrote out your goodbyes, it was only a matter of time before you'd die. Truth was, I never really knew what to say. But for the past month, I have thought and thought about what the contents of this letter would read. I found it turned out to be more of an apology than a goodbye._

_I really am sorry, Hope. I'm sorry for never being there for you and your mother. I paid the price when I heard the news about the events in Bodhum. I wasn't there to protect you. I should have been and I regret it every day._

_Although I lost Nora, I felt unbelievably lucky when I saw you in the doorway that day. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost both of you._

_I know I wasn't a very good father, but I hope that you know that I love you. I always have, even if I was never very good at showing it. You were always a terrific boy and you have grown into an incredible young man. You have made me so proud. I know you will be the perfect leader for Academia and do exceptional work in my previous position._

_Your mother always said that there was a bittersweet happiness in writing these letters. It was in the thought that even though we were no longer alive, you were, and we would always be in your heart. Well I also found a bit more happiness in it. Hope, if you're reading this, then that means that not only are you alive, but I managed to keep my promise. I made a promise to myself the day you came out of crystal stasis. That as long as I was alive, I wouldn't allow anything to harm you again._

_I'm so sorry that I'm not there to protect you anymore, but know that I am proud of who you are and who you've become, and that I love you deeply._

_-Love always, Dad_

After reading it over for what must have been a dozen more times, Hope's hands, still tightly clutching the letter, fell to his lap. A sharp pain seemed to pierce his chest as silent tears fell down his cheeks. He couldn't believe his father had written him a letter, and he couldn't believe it had taken him so long to find it.

Hope had loved his father, there was never any question of it. And he knew his father loved him as well. They'd had their differences and had butted heads on many occasions, but that didn't mean they didn't love each other. But still Hope was left rather shocked at the letter's words. It was uncharacteristic of his father to express his feelings so openly. In that moment, Hope allowed himself to remember his father, and to grieve completely.

Forty-five minutes passed by until Hope finally picked himself up from his bed and walked over to his dresser. He opened the top drawer and slid over a few old garments before unveiling what he was looking for. There sat his mother's letter. The one she had written for him, just like his father had. Folding the letter back up, he placed it back in the envelope and set it beside his mother's. As he stared at their letters side by side, he felt he had to visit his father.

Swiftly shutting the drawer, he rushed to the front door, but stopped just as his fingertips grazed the door handle. _I'm sorry, Light, but I have to do this._ Continuing forward, he left his house, heading toward the cemetery.

* * *

After leaving Hope's house, Lightning decided to not go back home. The cool night air invited Lightning for a walk and she accepted. It'd been an hour and the soldier was walking along the sidewalks of the city. The hustle of society had died down considerably. Few cars were in the streets and there were even fewer civilians out.

Lightning's mind drifted off into thoughts of Hope's story. Images of it flashed through her head as she visualized the event. Hope and his father arguing... the guards falling to the ground... then his father... the assassin aiming his gun at Hope... Hope huddled over his father's dead body... Lightning stopped, pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. _I should have been there for him... protected him. Hell, Nivien was there for him._ It seemed Hope and Nivien had been much closer than she had wanted to think about and now she could see how. The thought of the lieutenant comforting him, sent an emotion through Lightning that she wasn't willing to recognize.

Stumbling across a park, Lightning walked over to a swing-set. She grabbed onto the chain of a swing, swaying it back and forth. She remembered the last time she'd swung on a swing-set.

It was just her and Serah. It had only been about a week since their mother died and Serah had begged Lightning to go to the park. Having been eleven o'clock at night, the elder sister had said no. But when Serah batted her eyelashes and the tears had threatened to spill from her eyes, she caved. Although Lightning was fifteen and swinging wasn't her idea of a good time, swinging with her sister that night was the first time she had enjoyed herself since her mother had passed.

As Lightning reminisced, she suddenly felt another presence around her. Slowly, she moved her hand to the hilt of her gunblade. Just as she brushed its edge with her fingers, she was struck by a flying icicle that grazed her bicep. Wincing, she spun in the direction it had flown from. There was no one. No visual or sound that gave away her assailant's position. Drawing her gunblade, Lightning cleared her mind, thoughts solely on her surroundings.

A branch cracked behind her, but before she could turn to face whoever was there, a burst of fire shot up in front of her, setting the grass aflame. Soon the flames grew to encircle Lightning. Then her attackers crept out from the shadowed brush. There were six of them, all in black cloaks. Their faces were covered by their hoods, but by their figures, they all seemed male. All stayed at a distance from the hostile soldier, but one stepped forward, obviously their leader. He was the biggest of them, tall and very muscular.

"There's no need to be alarmed, my friend", announced the man. His voice was gruff and husky. His tone, however, was soothing, accommodating, but Lightning didn't care.

"My bleeding arm and the flames at my feet suggest otherwise." The flames began to die down gradually at the start of their conversation. The leader walked closer. Lightning raised her gunblade above her shoulder, ready for a fight.

He shook his head and bowed before her. "If we'd really wanted to hurt you, then you wouldn't be able to threaten us with that blade now, would you?" Her lack of response urged him to continue. "You're obviously aware of our powers. We have magic on our side." As if to prove this, he brought a flame to his fingertips and held it in front of him. "We just want to talk, but we aren't afraid of a fight if one is forced upon us." He dropped the fire from his hand. "It would be a shame to mark that pretty face of yours."

Lightning tensed, deciding that she didn't care for what they had to say. They'd already attacked her and she wasn't going to give them a chance to finish what they started. "Not interested." The flames licking at her feet had dissipated and with that, she leapt at the leader in front of her. She swiped at him as he jumped back and sent a burst of air at her, blowing her back off her feet. Flipping back through the air, she shot at one of the unsuspecting men approaching at her side. As she landed, he fell dead.

Two men came up behind her, attempting to grab her. She slid easily under their feet, slicing their ankles as she went. They fell to the ground and Lightning sprang up. Dodging a shot of electricity at her side, she stabbed the two in their chests.

This left the leader in front of her with two of his friends at his sides. Confidence shooting through her, she stepped forward and resumed her previous battle stance. "Now it's obvious that I want to hurt you and you should be alarmed. Leave now, or you won't live to regret it."

The ground began to quake under her feet, throwing her off balance. The two men at the leader's sides took the advantage of the distracted soldier, launching themselves toward her. One grabbed her, his hand hot as lava, and burnt Lightning's forearm. Ignoring the flaring pain, she quickly stabbed the man in the arm before switching into gun mode and shooting him in the face. The other one sent a surge of electricity through her, sending her to her knees. As he advanced on her, Lightning tried to focus her mind away from her screaming body. He grabbed her around the neck, only to let go when she stabbed him in the foot. He hollered out in pain until she sliced her blade across his neck as she stood. His body collided with the ground as he clutched his throat, leaving her to face off against the unmoving leader.

He seemed to be a challenge, but since he hadn't made a move on her, she had nothing to gauge his strength on. He already had the upper hand. Standing there, he was unscathed. Whereas she had a severely burnt arm to go with her cut one and shaky limbs as her body tried to fight off the effects of the electricity.

"This has become quite a mess. Why couldn't this have been a friendly conversation?"

Lightning growled at his mock sorrow. "You attacked first."

The man chuckled briefly as he clasped his hands together. "True and we may have underestimated you. You may be a very capable guardian after all."

Lightning blinked rapidly at his last words. _Guardian?_ She went to ask, but before she could utter a word, he threw a flurry of ice at her. Focusing on dodging the icicles and swiping them away with her blade, she wasn't able to see him advance toward her. As she went to slash away the last one, it melted before her, distracting her further. The leader then grabbed her by the throat and lifted her off of her feet. The gunblade began to slip from her grasp as her arm jolted out of reflex, begging her to grab his hands away. But she ignored her reflex, steeling her hold on her weapon. Fast as her namesake, she brought it up and thrust it down on his hands, cutting them clean off.

He screamed in pain as he fell backwards, his hood falling down. Disgusted, Lightning shook his hands off of her before going over to the now hand-less man. She brought her blade up below his chin and waited for his screams to stop. With his face now exposed, she could see his sharp and cruel facial features, partially hidden by auburn bangs. As he calmed down, she spoke. "Now, what did you want from me?"

Anger seemed to replace the horror in his eyes, but was soon followed by a sick sort of joy. "You lose, Guardian", he spat.

Digging her blade a bit deeper into him, she also put her boot on his wrist, watching him writhe and wiggle in pain. "Why are you calling me that? What is it that you want?"

At her questions, there was a sense of satisfaction written on his face. "We have what we want... what we need. Do you?"

At that answer, Lightning knew. "Hope." He laughed harshly. Rage flowing through her, she swiped her blade across his throat, spraying more blood over her and killing him instantly.

As her mind began to race in her worry for Hope, she calmed it. She wouldn't allow her fears to distract her, only fuel her. Sprinting towards Hope's house, she dialed his number. Naturally, he didn't pick up. _Please just be asleep._ She dialed Alyssa quickly, hoping she would still be working. Lightning didn't imagine Hope was the only workaholic there.

"Lightning, how may I-" Sounding slightly out of breath, she cut the upbeat woman off.

"Hope... is he still at his house?" _For his sake, he better be._

"Is everything alright, Lightning? You sound-"

"There's no time", she yelled, sending off alarms in Alyssa's mind.

"Let me check."

Still running as fast as her feet could carry her, she prayed that she could reach him in time. She had to protect him. "Hurry."

"Um... no, he's not."

_Dammit Hope._

"He's at Harleen Cemetery. Do you need me to give you the location?"

"Yes, and send a squad of G.C. Soldiers. Someone's coming for him, Alyssa _." Maker, please be okay, Hope._

* * *

As he knelt in front of his father's grave, his head hung low and his hands grasped his thighs tightly. He couldn't tear his mind away from the memories of his father and his family in his pre-l'Cie life. But he didn't want to. He welcomed those memories as the dark ones turned to fond ones. He no longer wept, for the tears couldn't form. He'd cried himself out. His eyes closed as he put his hand on the front of his father's grave _. I'm sorry, dad. Everything I put you through, all the arguments, all the yelling, it wasn't worth it. I would give anything to change that day. I know it's impossible... I've wished so many times over the years to have mom back... and as you can see, it never happened. I just miss you both so much. Thank you for the letter. I know how hard it must have been for you to write it._ Hope drew in a deep breath. _I love you too, dad._

"It's Hope..." Hope's head snapped up at the sound of a voice. "...right?" There was a woman in front of him and his father's gravestone. She was covered in white, her eyes a wolfish gray. Her voice was smooth, confident and strong. "Oh, I'm sorry... it's _Director_ now." Her words held a threatening tone in her last sentence, malevolence apparent.

Hope steadily stood. Anxiety and fear began to rise inside him as his pulse beat harshly. "What do you want", asked Hope hesitantly, forcing himself to remain calm. He couldn't believe how close she was. How could he have allowed her to sneak up on him like that?

"Isn't it obvious?" The woman raised her hand up in front of her chest, signaling many others to come out of the shadows. All of the rest of them, seven, possibly more, were dressed in black cloaks, hoods drawn. "We want you."

* * *

She approached the cemetery. It was grand, taking up many acres. Her mind was racing a hundred miles per hour, thinking of the many possibilities and outcomes of what she may find. Letting the eeriness of the dark cemetery slip past her mind, she plunged in. Her gunblade was drawn in her right hand, as she grasped a flashlight in the other. She fought desperately against the urge to cry out for him, wary of alerting any enemies. Remaining quick and stealthy, her footsteps were light and silent. Alyssa had not only given Lightning the location of the cemetery, but Bartholomew's grave. It wasn't too far from the entrance, but with Lightning's current state of mind, it seemed to be a world away.

After ten minutes of hunting for the grave site, she finally found it, and fought the sudden need to fall to her knees. At the foot of Bartholomew's headstone, laid Hope's communicator. She ran toward it and picked it up. It was still moderately warm from his pocket. Breathing a sigh of relief, she lifted her flashlight up to search the surrounding area. She stopped, seeing a flash of red in its light. Her heart skipped a beat. On the top left corner of Hope's father's headstone, was a large splotch of blood. It had dripped down the gravestone, but stopped halfway down, having dried in it's place. Hope's name tore from her lips.

Swearing, she searched to find any other sign of Hope or his attackers. She couldn't believe she'd let this happen. _Where is he? Where is my back-up? I can't let this-_ Her thoughts halted as she spotted another sign of the attack on Hope. There, stuck in a tree, not far from Bartholomew's grave, was Hope's boomerang. Shining the flashlight on it, she saw it had struck something. A small piece of black fabric hung from it. It looked exactly like the fabric of the cloaks on the men that had attacked her. Rage, terror and sorrow threatened to cripple her as she screamed out for Hope, but there was no reply. There was no other sign of him or his assailants.

As she heard the sound of the incoming G.C. Soldiers, she fell to her knees, unsure of how to continue. She swore she'd protect him. She swore she'd keep him safe. _Hope is gone. He's alone... again.  
_


	8. Captive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You didn't think it would be that easy to escape your fate, now did you?"

Hope woke up with a throbbing headache. It felt like his skull was being drilled into whilst being bashed repeatedly with a hammer. He didn't want to open his eyes in fear that light would make it worse. His instant reflex was to grab his head and hold it, but as he raised his hand, something prevented it from moving towards him. In fact, he couldn't move either of his hands nor his feet. Eyes shooting open, Hope searched for the reason.

His chest and feet were bare. His wrists and ankles were strapped down tightly with leather cuffs, tying him to a stone table. He struggled to pull himself free, but they wouldn't budge. And the more he fought, the more the bindings began cutting into his skin.

Trying to recover from the shock of his situation, he attempted to figure out where he was. The room was moderately dark, lit by a few torches along the walls. The whole place was stone, bare, with no personalization, so it most likely wasn't someone's home. The air held a bitter coldness that stung his exposed skin. Hope scrunched up his nose, smelling a very distasteful aroma. The room smelled of dirt and must, but most noticeably, it stank of blood and vomit.

Now breathing through his mouth, Hope continued to survey the room. His heart stopped at the sight of what was beside him on his left. Less than ten feet away, strapped to a stone table much like his own, was a woman. _I'm not alone._ She seemed young, maybe some years older than him, but it was hard to tell with the grime that covered her skin. She had very disheveled, long green hair with beads of various colors threaded throughout it. He couldn't see her face for it was covered by her messy hair. Her skin was ghostly white, having a paleness that rivaled his own. Left only in a bra and a mid-thigh length skirt, her torn and tattered clothes matched the green of her hair. Blood stained her skin and clothes, as well as the table beneath her. Yet there wasn't a scratch on her. Not that he could see anyway. Despite the look of her body, she seemed to only be sleeping for her chest moved steadily up and down.

Although he was thankful that he wasn't alone, Hope scolded himself for finding any sort of joy in her captivity. It looked like the woman had been there for quite some time. _But why? Who is she? And why does she deserve this? No... no one deserves this, but... does she have something to do with Yeul?_ Hope gasped at his thought, remembering the prophecy. _'Only through his suffering, can humanity prevail.' Did she mean... me? But... why would I be so important? I mean, yeah, I'm the director, but only Lightning... Oh, Maker, Light! She's never going to forgive me. Once she finds out I left... If she finds out. What if no one... No, I'm the director, they'll notice me missing, but... what if they..._

Hope groaned and found his throat to be painfully dry. Instead of drowning in his rampaging sea of thoughts, he thought to try and wake his unfortunate companion. "Hey. Hey, can you hear me?" Hope's voice was hoarse and raspy. He tried to swallow, but it only made the pain worse. _How long was I unconscious?_

Closing his eyes, he tried to remember what last happened to him. He remembered working with Lightning and her accompanying him home, then finding the letter... then leaving... Hope's memories went fuzzy from there. He couldn't recall why he'd left his house or where he'd headed toward. He furrowed his brow in confusion, but winced and squeezed his eyes shut at the pain the movement caused. _Okay, focus, Hope. What happened? Why would you leave? Did it have to do with work? No, Light made you go home. Was it something to do with Light? No, she'd just left and threatened to hurt you if you stepped a foot outside. So why would you leave? What was worth pain by Light?_

Searching deep into his mind, he found it. _The letter! But what was written... It was from my father... but..._ Hope's grief threatened to surface within him, but he pushed it back _. No, focus. You read the letter. You put it away and... went to see him. You went to the cemetery, but... something happened... That woman... with the robe and the voice... and those eyes. That's right... I tried to fight back, but was blown forward from behind... I hit my head on a grave stone._

"Anyone awake down there", called a voice as they came down the stairwell.

_It's her!_

As she entered, her eyes went straight to Hope. "Ah, so we are. How are we?"

Tensing as the woman approached, Hope knew there was no use fighting her or his restraints. He was stuck. The only thing he could do right then, was get all of the information from the woman he could. "What do you want with me?"

She smiled as her slate colored irises ran over the length of his body. She slowly put her hand on his chest. Hope jolted at the touch, which only caused her devilish smile to grow. "As much as I love kidnapping pretty-boy egg-heads, I want nothing to do with you. You are a very well known, important person in your world. Taking you caused us a lot of trouble and keeping you will only cause us more. Hopefully...", she stopped, smiling and shaking her head for the obvious reason, "... it will be worth it."

"So why take me? Worth what? Wha-"

"Calm down." The woman brought her hand up to his forehead, pressing gently. Hope clenched his teeth and jerked his head away from her. A flicker of agitation passed through her eyes as she grabbed his chin harshly and forced him to face her. Her fingers then brushed lightly over his slightly swollen eye before running down over the small bruises on his chest, undoubtedly caused by Lightning's fit of frustration.

Hope wanted desperately to escape the woman's touch. The minute her cold bony fingers had found his skin, he felt angry and undeniably trapped.

A thin white eyebrow arched as she continued brushing over his bruises, as if she were inspecting them. "It would seem that your Guardian finds more pleasure in harming you, than protecting you." Her eyes flickered up to his at her statement.

_Guardian? Does she mean Light?_

"Oh, quiet now, are we? You have no more questions for me?" She stood up straight, walking a few steps away from his table. After waiting for a few moments for him to respond, she continued. "Too bad. And I was actually entertaining the idea of answering some." Turning back toward him, she fixed him with another wicked grin.

There were hundreds of questions shooting through his mind and Hope wasn't sure where to start. He was confused, really. She had kidnapped him, but didn't really want him. She had him strapped to a table, but seemed concerned about his injuries. And she was holding him captive, but she was willing to answer the questions he asked. "Who are you?" Naturally any sane attacker and kidnapper wouldn't give their name, but it was worth a shot and maybe he'd still get some sort of answer.

At his question, she walked over to the corner and grabbed a wooden chair. Bringing it back and setting it a few feet away on his right, she sat and answered. "My name is Castea Hidon." She crossed her legs and sat back in the chair, folding her hands in her lap. Her face became neutral, finally ridding itself of the creepy smile.

 _What? She told me her... Does that mean she's not planning on letting me go? Or she could be lying._ "Are you the... Who's in charge here?"

Her smile returned, albeit smaller and gentler. "I am, of course. Well, over these weaklings, anyway. I call the shots around here, that's all you need to know."

"What did you take me for? What do you plan to do with me?"

Her eyebrows rose and her smile seemed to reach a whole new level of creepy. "Finally, the good part." Her eyes searched his for a moment as her hand preoccupied itself with her sleeve. "I imagine you received our present?"

Hope's eyebrows furrowed as he frowned. "What-"

"Yeul." She deepened her gaze into his confused eyes. "You had to have figured it out by now that we were the ones…" her voice became mockingly sad as she finished her sentence, "who had done all those horrible and monstrous things to her. Same as with that one", she added, pointing to the women beside him. "And you know what? We're going to do all of those _nasty_ things to you as well."

He visibly tensed as his heart froze inside his chest. "Why", Hope croaked.

"Because we have to. We were called upon to use the great power inside of us to help you fulfill your destiny."

The young man's eyes danced around the room, processing her words. "You're l'Cie?" She nodded her head in reply. "And your focus is to capture and torture me, this woman, and that poor girl?" Hope shot her a look of disgust and Castea's smile shrunk slightly. "Why? What does a focus like that accomplish?" Slowly she sat up and uncrossed her legs, but remained silent. Hope clenched his jaw and his fists tightly. "Just let me go. Please, I won't-"

"Won't what?" By Castea's expression, she was clearly amused. "Is this about the time where you start begging... bargaining for your life? Don't worry, we won't kill you." She walked back over to Hope and brought her face above his. Running her hands through his hair, she looked into his eyes. The deep green orbs were filled with such fear and confusion that it excited her. The silveret tried to shrink back farther into the table, attempting to get away from her dark stare, but she was too close. "But soon enough, you'll wish that we had."

His eyes snapped up to hers, and through her gray gaze, he could see her brutal honesty. He wasn't sure about everything else she had said, but in this, there was no lie. No matter how much he wanted her to be lying, between that demonic look in her eyes and what he knew of Yeul's torture, there was no chance. He was going to be in immense pain very soon.

Hope felt an emotion creep into him, deep into him, that he hadn't felt in a long while. He felt fear. A deep, bone-chilling fear set into his veins. And there was nothing he could do to stop it. He had nothing to protect himself, even if he could move to use it. There were no guards... no one was there to shield him from any of his ensuing hurt. And he had no one to blame but himself.

Castea, looking thoroughly pleased with herself for causing the scared puppy look on his face, stood up. With a flick of her wrist, a soothing warmth washed over him. She was healing all of his wounds. The horrible ache in his head was gone as well as the dull pain of the bruises, and he imagined any trace of the door incident had vanished with them. _Why is she healing me?_

A loud stomping sound could be heard from the corner as someone descended down the stairs. Hope's gaze turned from the horrid woman to the approaching person. It was a rather large, muscular man, with sharp facial features. "Lady Hidon? Barsilisk wishes to speak with you." He had a gruff and harsh voice, but was quiet. He bowed before Castea. Between that and the way he had addressed her, it told Hope that he worked under her.

She rolled her eyes before walking to the steps. "Honestly, that man can't manage a thing by himself." Turning back to her underling briefly, she spoke, "Deal with them, Sebastian. Especially the girl", and then continued leaving the room. The man, obviously named Sebastian, watched the entryway until he could no longer hear Castea's retreating footsteps.

As he turned to face Hope, he spoke. "Do not fret, you're safe." His expression didn't change from the stern look he'd entered with, but his voice held traces of amusement. "I was ordered to leave you alone, for now."

The teen felt a bit of trepidation at speaking with the large man, but he decided to anyway. "So you work for...", Hope's voice trembled a bit, so he cleared his throat, attempting to find a relative calm, "...Castea? Are you a l'Cie too?"

"I think you've asked enough questions for one day, little Director." Sebastian went to give his full attention to the woman beside him. He pushed her hair out of her face, revealing it to Hope. Even through the dirt and blood on her face, she seemed fairly attractive with smooth facial features and high cheekbones. Grabbing her cheeks harshly with his hand, he picked her head up and looked into her face. "This one's a stubborn little whore. She should mind her manners." He let go of her head and it collided back with the table with a thump.

As Sebastian walked over to him, Hope noticed there was what seemed to be a scar across the man's throat. "Just let me go, please. I didn't do anything to you. I don't even understand why I'm here."

"You will… in due time."

Hope bit down softly on his cheek, pushing back his threatening tears. "Fine, but let her go. You have me... what you wanted. Why do you have to torture her?"

The large l'Cie stood over Hope, an alarming smirk appearing on his face. "Compassion for a woman you don't even know. And you want me to let her go when you haven't even spoken with her. Too priceless." He laughed bitterly, the sound echoing around the room, mocking Hope's compassion further. "She has a purpose here, same as you." Sebastian leaned on Hope's table, hands gripping the edge of the rough stone. Hope looked at the man's hands, noticing similar scars on his wrists as to the one on his neck. Sebastian took note of the young man's interest. "Courtesy of your Guardian. She put up quite a fight. One I didn't expect."

Hope grew concerned. Castea had mentioned a Guardian before, when tending to his wounds inflicted by Lightning, so Hope had assumed that's who she had been referring to. But if that was who Sebastian was speaking of, then how was he still alive? "You mean Lightning", Hope asked. His heart beat rapidly in his chest as worry about her well-being grew inside him.

The bulky man stood back up, his right hand cuffing his left wrist as he rubbed it. "Yes, the beauty with the soft pink hair and rose colored lips. I didn't expect someone so gorgeous to be so deadly."

Hope bared his teeth. "I swear if you hurt her-"

The man only laughed. "She fought well. It was fun until... well, anyway I achieved my goal. The threat of the Guardian was eliminated so we were able to collect you without too much of a fuss."

 _Eliminated?_ "No, Maker, no", Hope whispered to himself as despair began to take over him.

"Don't listen to this fool." The woman beside him spoke as she stirred. "He's just a lackey trying to break you for his boss." She tilted her head up to give the burly man a look of defiance.

"What did you say, bitch?" Sebastian stomped over to her and smacked her across the face, the hit so strong that it resounded off of the chamber walls. "I am no lackey." She breathed roughly for a moment before turning her head back toward him and spitting out blood into his face.

He landed a heavy punch on her jaw, causing her head to hit the stone harshly, knocking her back out. As he lifted his hand for another punch, Hope tried to stop him. "Don't. She's already out and-" Hope's words abruptly stopped as the man fixed him with a withering stare.

Turning back to the woman while calming considerably, Sebastian undid her bindings and tossed her over his shoulder, silently leaving the room.

Hope's head fell back to the table, his mind falling back to his worry about Lightning. _No, she's strong. Too strong. She couldn't have been... eliminated. That woman is right. He was just lying. But those marks did look like they'd come from a gunblade. If he'd faced off against Light, there's no way she would have left him alive... unless..._

Hope's thoughts were interrupted by a returning Sebastian, obviously not through with his earlier conversation. "As I was saying, that Guardian of yours was a real beaut. And a damn fine warrior. Shame really. I would have loved to have spent more time with her."

Hope looked toward Sebastian, enraged as he struggled against his binds. This only caused the man to laugh. "She would have been much more fun than that little seeress." He stopped, pulling out a long serrated blade from his belt, causing Hope to swallow. "I'm sure you saw my masterpiece. Sadly, you only got to see half of it. We had to heal many of her serious injuries so she could make it to ya." He ran his finger along the edge of the blade, staring sadistically at it as blood began to drip from his finger.

"You're sick", Hope spat, feeling hatred and disgust surface. _It sounds like he was... is taken with Light. And he's the one that did all those monstrous things to that poor girl. Maker... why?_

The man's smile dropped as he looked at Hope with fury in his eyes. The last thing Hope saw was the large man's hand reaching up in the air with electricity flitting through his fingertips before an unbearable shock was sent through him, causing blackness to overtake his vision.

* * *

Bright lights greeted Lightning as she awoke from her slumber. She groaned as her eyes lazily opened to find that she was in a hospital room. _What the hell happened?_ In a flash, it all came back to her. She'd let Hope get taken. Her right hand balled into a fist and she hit it against the side of her head _. But why am I here? I should be out looking for Hope._ She couldn't recall what had happened after she'd found Hope's boomerang. It was all a blank. Looking over herself, she took note of her injuries.

There was a large bandage on her left forearm from the burn, a slightly smaller bandage covered her right bicep from the cut, and her neck felt painful when she swallowed, obviously from being strangled. But there was a bandage wrapped around the palm of her left hand. She didn't remember getting injured there.

Her thoughts went back to Hope as she laid there. His smile, his warm embrace, his heartbeat under her hand, it all came rushing to her mind. Sorrow hit her briefly before being replaced by anger. She was unbelievably furious. She was furious at Hope for sneaking away. She was furious at him for disregarding everything she had said to him not a day before. She was furious at him for leaving her alone. But mostly, she was furious at herself for letting him slip from her grasp.

She couldn't stay there anymore. All she was doing was wallowing in her own misery. As she went to get up, her door opened to reveal a familiar face.

"Lightning, you're awake. How's our favorite soldier?" Sazh had a smile on his face, but there was a sadness within his eyes that couldn't be missed.

Lightning growled. "Yeah, and I want out. How did I get here?" She moved her leg over and off the side of the bed, but Sazh stopped her.

"Stop, Lightning. I just got back from my flight, I've had zero sleep, I'm old, and in no mood to be chasin' after your rampagin' ass." His tone was stern, but Lightning would have none of it.

She fixed her elder with an ice cold glare. "Hope is gone and we need to find him. If you want to sleep while he's Maker knows where, go ahead." Lightning was steadily yelling at him now, which she really didn't want to do, but she couldn't stop. She had to find Hope. She couldn't lose anyone else. "I'm not going to sit here and wait until he turns up-"

Sazh stopped her, covering her mouth with his hand before pushing her back down. "Stop. There is a search team covering all of Academia and three teams covering Pulse. Hildough and some guards are headed to Sanctum City to check there, as well."

The soldier, completely pissed by Sazh's forceful action, pushed his hand away. "It's not enough. I have to-"

"Calm down, that's all ya gotta do", said a semi-familiar voice from the doorway. In stepped Rygdea, looking almost exactly the same as she remembered him. The only differences were a few more wrinkles, worry lines, and his hair was tied back in a ponytail. "We need you calm, Lightning, so you can tell us what happened."

Lightning huffed as she settled back into her bedding. She hated it, but they were right. The only good she could do now was explain to them what she knew so they could come up with a course of action. "I take it you didn't find any of his attackers?"

Rygdea stepped closer to the bed. "No, the G.C. found nothing other than Hope's boomerang with the cloth and the blood on Bartholomew's headstone."

Lightning tensed, her feeling of despair coming back at her hard. She held the back of her hand to her mouth, trying to keep her breathing even.

Rygdea began to wring his hands. "Look, Lightning. I know your hurtin', but-"

"Please, if you cared half as much as I do, we wouldn't still be sitting here."

The man's eyes filled with frustration. He stalked towards her with half a mind to hit the woman telling him that he didn't care. But he stopped himself. "Hey, missy, I love that kid like a son." Rygdea breathed heavily as he tried to calm his rage. "I was very close with Hope and his father. Bartholomew told me himself to watch over him in the event that-" A flicker of immense pain registered in the man's eyes as he spoke of Bartholomew. "So I feel as much pain and worry as you. If not more."

Lightning looked away. She actually hadn't given Hope and Rygdea's relationship any thought at all. Sorely regretting her words, she blew out a sigh. She then went over the events that had occurred at the park and the graveyard. After she had finished, Sazh and Rygdea exchanged worried glances. "What?" She knew they knew something.

Sazh was the first to speak up. "After they... the Guardian Corps soldiers found ya, well... through what happened, you told 'em about bein' attacked in the park, but..." Sazh stopped as he ran his hand over his face.

"They found nothing." Rygdea had finished for him. Good thing too, because Lightning was about to sock Sazh out of impatience. "There was no trace of anything there. No bodies, no blood... not even a scorch mark."

Lightning balled her fists. "But that's impossible. I took out six of them. They were wearing the same fabric as the piece Hope's boomerang caught." Her voice caught in her throat a little at her mention of Hope, but no one said anything about it. Feeling unbelievable frustration yet again, she figured it was time to get answers of her own. "Why am I here? I don't remember anything passed the graveyard and somebody better tell me why."

Rygdea's comm went off then, cutting into their discussion. He gave Sazh a look of sympathy as he exited the room to answer it. Sazh bit his tongue and stepped back from Lightning before answering her. "You had to be... sedated."

The eldest Farron's jaw dropped. She definitely didn't remember that. "Why?"

Sazh 's eyes remained on the floor. "The soldiers who found ya said you were screamin' for Hope and you wouldn't settle down. You had serious injuries that needed looked at, but you wouldn't let anyone touch ya. You tried to leave to find him..." Sazh stopped. He looked at Lightning. Her expression was a mixture of pain and confusion. When the soldiers had told him what happened, he couldn't believe it. He hadn't known how much she cared about the kid. Of course, Hope made a great impact on many he met and he seemed to have a way with people, but this was Lightning. The soldier that was always guarded. She'd taken good care to make sure he was safe when they were l'Cie, yes. But this was different. "...but they needed to help you and speak with you... You were also holdin' Hope's comm so tight that it broke in your hand... glass cut into your skin, but you wouldn't let go of it and you wouldn't stop...so they-"

"Drugged me." Lightning's head dropped back down to the pillow as her hands rubbed her eyes.

The pilot stood and walked over to her. "We'll find him, Lightning. He couldn't have gotten far without his soldier girl." The old man winced, ready for a strike, a spiteful comment, but nothing came. Lightning just stared into the distance.

A knock sounded from the door, followed by Rygdea entering her room. "That was the Academy lab. They ran a test on the blood from... Bartholomew's headstone."

A minute passed as Sazh and Lightning waited for him to speak. "And", implored the impatient pinkette.

Rygdea looked down to the floor for a moment before sighing. "It was Hope's."

* * *

Hope sat in the corner of a dark stone cell, his knees to his chest, arms around his legs, with his forehead resting on his knees. He'd woken up just twenty minutes earlier to the screams of, who he could only assume, was the woman he'd seen beside him before. He had no idea how long he'd been out. The pain of the electrocution was gone, so he must have been healed. All that remained now was the slight shakiness in his limbs from the after effects.

The cell was small – about eight by six feet. There was no light except the small amount that filtered in through the bottom of the door and the small slot that they slipped trays of food into. In the back left hand corner was a bare mattress on the floor and on the right side was a bucket. Other than that, it was empty and cold.

A tray of food sat on the ground in front of him. It held a sandwich, an apple and a cup of water. Although he didn't trust it in the least, he drank the water, finding it too hard to resist with how unbearably dry his throat was. Everything else, he let sit.

In an attempt to escape the poor woman's cries and screams, Hope delved into his thoughts. He still couldn't believe what was happening to him. It felt so unreal. He wished desperately to be back home. To be with Lightning, Sazh, Rygdea, Nivien, Maqui, and the rest of the NORA gang. Although he tried to focus on all of the happy and good things in his life, he couldn't get what Sebastian had said out of his head. _Lightning has to be okay. They were only there for me. She wasn't even with me. They had no reason to go after her, or to kill her._ Getting those thoughts out of his head, Hope began processing everything that had happened and everything he'd been told. _Okay, so they're l'Cie. They are the one's responsible for torturing Yeul, and they sent her to us for a reason. They wanted us to see her. Did they also plan on us hearing the prophecy? It's very likely, although by how Light had put it, it seemed that it had been sudden. Like it had been a new vision._

_So these people work for Castea Hidon. How many of them are there? I know there are at least seven others from what I saw when they attacked me. Which doesn't include Sebastian because none of them were that big. Why would they be doing this? Does Castea work for someone? Well, obviously a Fal'Cie if they're l'Cie. But... the Sanctum! Could they be working for the Sanctum's Fal'Cie? It's possible, but there are many Fal'Cie. Well, I have a right to be suspicious of them though considering... Anyway... their focus... Castea said that it had something to do with my destiny. What is my destiny? And why does it have to involve so much kidnapping and torture? And what does that woman have to do with all of this?_

Hope's thoughts turned to the woman currently being tortured. He couldn't believe how she'd spoken to Sebastian. The way she showed no fear or restraint when speaking to him so sharply amazed him. Even though she had only been awake for a short minute, she had also calmed Hope's thoughts about Lightning. And he was grateful for that. He hadn't been in the right frame of mind to rationalize that the man could have just been trying to get a rise out of him.

 _Maker, why didn't I listen to Light? I wouldn't be in this mess if I'd just been more careful instead of so stubborn._ Regret filled Hope to the core. He knew he'd been stupid, but what could he do now? He just wished, now more than ever, that he could be with his family. New and old.

Hope's train of thoughts abruptly halted as he heard his door slam open. He stayed in his same position, thinking of ways to escape, but nothing came. A man approached him and gripped Hope's hair tightly, pulling him up. He had expected it to be Sebastian, but it wasn't. It was a new bulky man that he hadn't seen before. He was smaller than Sebastian, but still fairly intimidating.

Throwing Hope against the opposite wall, he laughed. "Try anything and I won't be afraid to break a few of your bones."

Hope grunted as his shoulder met roughly with the wall. He listened to the man, unsure of what to do. The man was chuckling as he spoke, but was dead serious. Hope wanted to escape. Every bone in his body fought against the urge to just book it and run. But he wasn't a moron. He knew he wasn't fast enough to escape him. Even if he managed to flee from the l'Cie in front of him, he didn't know how many more awaited him outside. Plus, he had no idea where he was, or how to get through the place. And taking Castea's henchmen on would just be suicidal. The teen nodded to the man, assuring him that he wouldn't try anything stupid.

The big guy grinned. "Good. A scrawny kid like you wouldn't last very long against me." Grabbing a black bag from his pocket, he pulled it over Hope's head before gripping his arm and pulling him into the hall. As they walked through the place, Hope tried to memorize his way in the case a miracle happened and he found a chance to escape. It didn't take very long to reach their destination. Two right turns, a left, down a flight of stairs and they were there.

As they approached, Hope could hear the woman's screams getting louder as well as her ragged breaths. He could see nothing through the bag on his head, but by the sound and smell, he knew where he was. The man pushed him into a stone table before slamming his head down onto it. Feeling pain and dizziness take over his functions, Hope fell to the floor, stunned that the blow hadn't knocked him out entirely. Hearing Sebastian laugh made him angry, but there was nothing he could do.

Through raspy breaths, the woman spoke. "Stop it. You… wou-wouldn't want to-to kill him now, would you? T-That would… kind of…fuck up you…your focus, wouldn't it?" She let out a light yelp as she was smacked.

"Keep your whore mouth shut", shouted Sebastian.

Hope grimaced as he felt the other man pick him up and set him on the table. His head rolled to the side as the man strapped him back into the familiar restraints. The bag was lifted off of his head, giving Hope his sight back. His relief was short lived as he turned his head and saw the state of the woman beside him. She had numerous bruises and shallow cuts littered along her body. Her right eye was horribly swollen, her lip was split, tears stained her cheeks, and three fingers were bent in painfully odd angles. And as if that wasn't enough, there were horrid bruises and burns along her jawline and neck. Blood dribbled from her lips as her desperate gaze met his.

Sebastian left her side and went to speak with the other man quietly in the corner. The woman tilted her head to look fully at Hope. He couldn't see her right eye, for it was swollen shut, but her left eye held despair and terror in her green gaze. Giving him a small smile, she went to speak, but nothing came. Hope shook his head. "Don't talk", he whispered.

Sebastian slapped the other man on the back jovially before waving toward the woman and sending a powerful cure spell over her. Then both the bulky men left them alone. Hope watched as her cuts and bruises healed. Her eye returned to normal size. Her fingers snapped back into place as she gasped at the pain. Her breathing was heavy, but calmed with time.

"You would be Hope, right?" She gave him a strained smile, though the immense pain kept it from reaching her eyes.

Hope laughed lightly. "Seems everyone knows my name."

The woman looked up at the ceiling before closing her eyes and sighing. "I'm Zalera. I'd say it's nice to meet you, but I was really hoping they wouldn't get a hold of you."

"You knew they were after me?"

"Yes, almost since they first caught me or… us." A solemn look overtook her expression as her fists tightened. It was her fault. It would always be her fault...

Taking in her body language, he got who she was talking about and wondered if they'd been close before captivity. "Yeul? You knew her?"

A small cry escaped her throat. She attempted to restrain the grief, but it was damn near impossible. "Yes." She sniffed and fought her tears back. "I was supposed to protect her… and I… failed her instead."

Hope's eyebrows shot up in discovery. "You're her Guardian."

She laughed bitterly. That title should have never belonged to her. "Was. I _was_ her Guardian."

 _That doesn't make sense?_ "But you're a l'Cie. How come you can't-"

"Nope." She turned and gave Hope a grim look of defeat, a stark contrast to her defiance she'd shown before. "I am not and never was a l'Cie."

Hope took a second and thought back to all of the scripture he'd read about the Farseer tribe. He could have sworn that it all had said that Yeul's Guardian was a l'Cie. A person that lived a timeless existence, watching over every Yeul to come. _Which would make sense with what it could take to guard such a powerful being._ Glancing at her, Hope noticed her body subtly shaking. He wanted to ask her to elaborate about Yeul and her guardianship of her, but he felt concern for her state. "Are you okay?"

Zalera glanced over at him, a hint of shock and annoyance in her expression. Of course she wasn't okay, not in the least. But he was expressing concern for her, a complete stranger, over the many things he could have said or asked. "I'm sorry."

Hope gave her an incredulous look in return. _An apology? For what?_

"How are my guests today", asked Castea as she entered the room.

Zalera gave her a death glare that could easily match Lightning's own. "Why don't you untie me and I'll let you know _exactly_ how I am."

Castea merely glanced in her direction before Zalera's back arched. She screamed out in pain and her breaths became short and erratic until she wasn't breathing at all. It wasn't until her face began changing color that Castea's everlasting smile widened and Zalera was finally allowed air.

Hope was stunned. Castea didn't even have to lift a finger to almost take Zalera's life. She was a devastatingly powerful l'Cie.

"It's a shame. I thought all this time down here would have taught you how to be a lady. I guess Yeul's death wasn't enough of a lesson."

Zalera's nostril's flared as her eyes filled with hatred. She began fighting against her binds with all of her strength. "Don't you dare say her name, you murderous wench."

The blonde merely waved her off. "And how are you, my pet", Castea inquired as she turned to Hope.

Swallowing harshly, Hope glanced at the ceiling before turning his attention to the black-hearted woman. "I've been better."

She hummed as her eyes swept over his body, taking in his condition. "Well, I thought you might have some last questions that you may want answers to. Considering you might not be in the best state of mind for the rest of your stay. I've found that it's very hard to process and absorb things when your mind is being clouded by pain." Her smile widened at Hope's small change in expression.

He didn't speak. His mind was far beyond his control as he began to imagine his torture.

She walked over to his hair and began fiddling with it. "No, well I'll just talk then."

"Maybe we don't want to listen", snapped Zalera, practically foaming at the mouth.

As Castea lifted her hand from Hope's head, he spoke to stop the wicked woman's next actions. "No, I-I want to hear what she has to say."

The green-haired woman stopped her futile struggle and laid still, her face scrunched up in frustration.

Castea's hand rejoined its partner in Hope's hair. He hated her touch, but he wanted more information. Why she was so forthcoming was beyond him, but he thought to take advantage of it. For all he knew, in the end, he could use the information. If there was an ending to this that was something more ideal than his death, that is. "First of all", Hope was mildly surprised at how strong his voice was, and by Castea's expression, so was she, "I want to know, why me? Why am I so important to you?"

"You know we've been protecting you, right?" Hope's eyes shot up to the woman standing before his head. He found it extremely hard to believe that she nor any of her goons had protected him. His eyes asked her to elaborate and she complied. "That assassination attempt, I'm sure you remember it." His body stiffened and her hands finally unfurled themselves from his hair. She walked over to the unoccupied stone table at his right and sat on it. "It must have been... so painful for you. I'm truly sorry we couldn't have been there in time to save your poor father." Hope bit his tongue, trying not to bark and scream at the witch of a woman before him. "We were almost too late to save you. But the other times..."

The young man's eyebrows rose at that. No one had known of any other attempt. _Well, besides the one at school..._

"We managed to eliminate the other threats. There were four other attempts, just so you know." She raised four of her fingers to emphasize the number. "You're not very popular over at the Sanctum. You should show us some gratitude."

Zalera scoffed at that. "Whoopee, you kept him alive so he could end up in your basement while you get off on his torture."

Castea rolled her eyes. "We do what's necessary for the future. Keeping you safe was a top priority."

Hope fought to keep himself from visibly shaking, fear and anger bubbling inside of him. "Why? What does this have to do with the future?"

The woman, now sitting in a very casual position as if not having a care in the world, shook her head slowly. "You have no idea how important you are. You are potentially the most powerful human on this planet. I would kill for that power."

Scrunching up his nose at her statement, Hope fidgeted. He didn't want that kind of power. "You're a l'Cie, and a very strong one at that. Why can't-"

"As much as I despise it and loathe you for it, I am not powerful enough. None of us are."

"Powerful enough for what?" Hope had always loved how easy he'd taken to his powers. Magic just seemed like a part of him that he'd been missing. But he knew his great skills with it would get him into trouble one day.

A dreamy look of wonder and happiness washed over Castea's face as she answered him. "To change the world." She stopped and clapped her hands together, prepping her speech. She'd been waiting far too long. "We've had people watching over you, you know?"

No, Hope hadn't known and he found it to be particularly creepy. He had spies watching him and his goings on for who knows how long, sent from his future tormentors, and he was supposed to take that how?

"You got through that mess of research rather quickly. I was impressed. You figured out so much about the crystal so fast that I no longer wondered why you were talked about as this brilliant leader." At the mention of the crystal, his ears perked. "You even got the location right." Castea paused, waiting for a reaction, which Hope, being the open book that he is, gave easily. His astonishment and confusion was easily viewed by her and she went on. "It was the reason we had to fetch Yeul and why we had to wait to take you. We wanted to know, for sure, the location of the crystals, and Yeul was the only one who knew. A shame we had to torture the girl to get it out of her. Her cries and screams were heartbreaking. Especially when she cried out for her Guardian who could no longer save her. Right, Zalera?"

The woman in question gave her a scornful look. "Just you wait, bitch."

"Please, you won't live long enough." Smiling back at Hope, she moved back on topic. "The crystal shards are in Etro's shrine, and the places where Pulse and Lindzei departed from the world."

Hope raised a brow. "But we already-"

She waved him off. "It can only be found by you with your powers. Your silly little underlings couldn't find it if they searched for decades."

"And you torturing me helps me accomplish my _destiny_ how exactly?"

Castea pursed her lips as she looked to his left wrist. "If you hadn't noticed, your brand is gone. Without your brand, your powers lay dormant inside you." Her smile grew as she spaced off into a corner. "It's ironic really. Etro took pity on you and your friends by releasing you from your fate as l'Cie, and this in turn left you with another terrible fate - having to reawaken your brand. Not easily done, mind you. Your freedom from the l'Cie curse is also why you all awaken at different and unknown times. A l'Cie with no further purpose can only awaken when and if they are willing to. You all could go on in a stasis paradise forever if you wished to."

Hope's head was spinning with all of Castea's information, but he tried to soak it all up and store it for when it was useful.

Zalera continued to lay there, listening to the woman speak, wanting all the while to rip her head off.

"So torturing me will help bring my brand back? But... Why do you care? What's your purpose with the crystal?" He had his reasons for its use, bringing back his friends and all that remained trapped in Cocoon's crystal shell. But what were their intentions?

She laughed. "Ah, you want to know the root of it all, huh? Well, we know you want to awake those in stasis, saving all of your little cuddle buddies and your previous home. It's sweet and touching and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside." She rolled her eyes to accompany her sarcastic comment. "It's a smart plan, by the way. Who knows when they'll all wake up. Tomorrow... centuries from now... and undoubtedly Cocoon's fate as well as that of its citizens rests in your Oerban friends' stasis'. Should they awaken... Cocoon may just continue it's plunge toward Pulse."

Zalera sighed. "Just get on with it before you bore the kid to death."

Castea smoothed her hair back with her hand as she glared at Zalera. It was obvious she was thoroughly enjoying Hope's reactions. "That crystal is the most powerful object in this world. Only you have the power to find it and wield it. I have no doubt that it could wake your friends. But what we want brings us back to the whole reason you six were made l'Cie in the first place."

Emerald eyes bulged and he struggled against the leather cuffs, ignoring the sharp pain in his wrists. "No." He knew what she meant. He knew exactly what she meant.

"Yes", she replied, her voice dripping with desire. "You shall use it to bring the Maker back to this world. It shall be rebuilt as a new world, made only for those who deserve it and those powerful enough to rule it." She laughed harshly. "You didn't think it would be that easy to escape your fate, now did you?"

 _Easy?_ She thought him fighting for his life and that of his friends as well as the rest of the world was easy? After everything he'd lost and sacrificed, he was going to have to face that horror of an unbreakable fate again? "No", Hope cried. "I won't do it and you can't make me. I fought my focus before. I'll do it again. No matter how or if you bring my brand back, I won't."

Castea stood and waltzed over to him. "Oh, you will... and that's the fun part. The only way to bring back a brand is through the l'Cie's sheer pain and broken will. It's never been done before, but we all know you love challenges. Or is that just your Guardian?"

Hope glared at the woman as he clenched his jaw. _How dare you talk about Light._

"I know it's not easy to accept, and really you probably shouldn't. It'll just make it that much harder to reawaken your brand." She brushed her hand against his cheek and only smiled as he pulled away from her. "It's funny. 'Salvation is born of sacrifice – miracles, of misery.' I'm sure this phrase isn't new to you. You probably just never knew how much it would mean for you in the future."

Hope jolted and fought even harder to get free. Hearing Orphan's words made him want to scream. He couldn't believe it had all been for nothing. They had saved the world just for it to be in jeopardy again. His plans for the bright and happy future he had tried to create for his people would be ruined by beings once again trying to bring back their lost deity.

Castea sneered as she walked over to the staircase. "Sebastian", she called.

Quickly running down the steps, the man returned in the doorway before Castea. "Lady Hidon", Sebastian addressed, bowing.

"It's time, my friend." Sebastian looked over to Hope with a crooked smile.

Hope stiffened. "Don't give in, Hope." He looked over to Zalera. She was glancing worriedly between him and Sebastian as she spoke. "You can't give in. Please, just stay strong."

Castea left. Hearing Zalera's words, Sebastian came over to her, rage written on his face. "What did I say about talking?" He delivered a devastating blow to her stomach, knocking the air out of her. As she struggled to breathe, the man waved his hand in her direction, sending the girl a fog spell. In turn, all sound slipped from Zalera. He then pulled his long knife that seemed to be his favorite, from his belt. "This should be fun."

As he walked over towards him, Hope swallowed. His heart was beating at a rampant pace as he imagined the knife's first plunge into his skin. Sebastian stood over the young man, smile widening as Hope's terror grew. He touched the blade gently to Hope's chest, before slicing down his abdomen slowly.

* * *

The air in the airship was hot and stifling. Lightning was now a part of a search team covering Pulse alongside Sazh, Nivien and twenty other soldiers. They were to check the abandoned castle on the northern side of Pulse. It had already been eighteen hours since Hope's abduction and the teams were sent to check every location they knew of.

Lightning sat in the back of the ship away from the rest of the soldiers. She was still pissed at how long it had taken to be allowed on the search team. She still couldn't believe all of the tests she had been made to go through to be eliminated as a suspect. The fact that she had been a suspect in the first place, was infuriating. How they could think that she could ever hurt Hope was beyond her. But considering that there had been no evidence, other than her wounds, of her story and the attack in the park, she had to admit, she would have made herself a suspect to.

Even after all of the times of going over her story, it still took major convincing to allow her out on the team. She had been hurt badly, and then there was the question of her mental state, but she wasn't going to let anything get in her way of searching for Hope. Besides, it was the best option. If they did come across any of Hope's attackers, Lightning was the only person that had experience in fighting them. But even so, she had to agree to take it easy and remain in Sazh and Nivien's sight at all times.

Nivien's continuous glances were getting on her nerves. Lightning tried to ignore them, but she wouldn't let up. It was insulting enough that she had to be babysat, but by Hope's ex? Lightning looked over at Nivien. Thankfully it was one of the few times the lieutenant hadn't been looking at her. Her posture was off by just a bit, but her face was sullen and her eyes held a lot of worry. Her gaze came up to meet Lightning's. She smiled slightly, before gazing back down at her feet.

Sazh yelled to everyone from the pilot seat. "Alright, y'all better strap yourselves in. We're landin' this thing." The aircraft shook slightly as it began its gradual descent to the ground. It jerked a few times as the wheels tried to find purchase on the terrain. About a minute passed before the airship slowed to a stop.

All the soldiers stood and grabbed their gear before heading out of the ship. They were split into two teams. One would cover the outside and perimeter of the castle as well as guard the ship, and the other would search the interior of the large structure. Naturally, she was on Sazh and Nivien's half of the team and they were the ones to check inside the castle.

The building was grand, but very old. Many walls had crumbled over the centuries that it had survived through, so they had to be extremely careful about watching for falling stones.

Lightning made sure to stay seen by her babysitters, but searched thoroughly where she could, all the while feeling that it was a futile effort. She knew Hope wasn't there. They had no leads on where he could have been taken, so they were looking everywhere. As much as she wanted him to be there, there was a very little chance that he was.

After spending so much time with Hope since she'd woken from her stasis, Lightning found that she hated Hope's job. He had too much on his shoulders. He worked all the time on project after project while never having time to relax or enjoy himself. Although he'd tried so hard to stay upbeat when he was around her, there was always an air of sadness and exhaustion around him. She blamed his job for it seeing as no matter how smart or mature Hope was, he was still too young for such a burden. But now, she appreciated his position a little more. For if he wasn't the director, there definitely wouldn't have been such a fuss in finding him. Most certainly not teams of soldiers scouring Pulse. Of course, if he wasn't director, he probably wouldn't have been taken in the first place. For why else would they take him?

Sighing, Lightning felt like attacking something. She needed a release for her rage and unbearable grief. She tried to come up with any other reason for his being a target at all. _Other than his position, the only thing he could be taken for was his previous status as a l'Cie, but why now? Why would that be a problem now? It's been a year since the only attack on Hope ever, right? Of course is it just a coincidence that the attack happened exactly a year after that incident?_ The only people she could think that could be responsible was that city of Sanctum scum. But again, it didn't make sense. The people that attacked them were using magic and were most likely l'Cie as well. The Sanctum wouldn't work with l'Cie to abduct a l'Cie. So what else? _Hope is a sweet, smart, innocent kid. There are no other reasons for his abduction. He's harmless. They probably couldn't have taken a nicer person if they tried. He's the last person on Pulse to deserve any pain or attack._ Lightning was only making herself more upset, but she couldn't stop. There had to be a reason and she was going to find out. Hope was out there somewhere and she was going to find him.

After a few hours of searching every inch of the castle, they decided it was time to move on. As they were walking down to the first floor, static came over Nivien's radio before horrified shouts. "Lieutenant! Lieutenant! Come in!"

Quickly answering her radio, Nivien replied. "Yes, what's your status?"

Erratic breathing came back at her. "Oh, Maker. It's bad. We have three down, two wounded. It was an Adamantoise attack. It came out of nowhere. It's not far from the castle and is approaching."

Nivien's eyes bulged and her face turned grim. "Get everyone you can back on the aircraft", she yelled. She then turned to the rest of her team. "Everyone, to the ship."

As they all started running, the soldier came back on her radio. "What about the others? There are soldiers still by it. They could still be alive."

Lightning's eyes shot over to Nivien. They were nearing the entrance of the castle and could hear the scrambling soldiers outside. "We have to leave them."

Lightning stopped and yanked on Nivien's jacket. "They'll die."

Nivien gave the younger woman an impatient glance. "We don't know how hostile that thing is. It could come after all of us or even our ship. I'm not risking it."

Lightning growled as they ran outside and toward the ship. The Adamantoise was about a mile away from them and it roared as it was coming in their direction.

"Damn, its close", said Sazh.

As they all began entering the aircraft, they heard a shrill scream of a soldier from the Adamantoise's direction. Lightning stopped. Just as she was about to enter the ship she spun on her heal and barreled off toward the beast and fallen soldiers.

Sazh caught sight of this and yelled after her. She ignored him and continued her path. He turned to Nivien who looked extremely pissed, but unsure of what to do. "Ah hell." The pilot ran off the ship after her.

Nivien cried out in frustration before telling her soldiers to stay put and guard the ship. Speeding off after the two, she cursed the sergeant's idiotic behavior. She knew this had nothing to do with the soldiers and had everything to do with Hope.

After a few short minutes, Lightning was within striking distance when the giant swung its head down, swiping at her with its tusks. Leaping out of the way, she hit the ground and rolled off of her shoulder, then stood up in her usual battle stance. Shots rang out from a few feet behind her. She glanced, seeing Sazh and Nivien joining the party.

No one spoke as they looked at the beast in front of them, gaping at their challenge.

Lightning knew she must have lost her mind. The few times they'd gone up against these things, they'd barely made it out alive. And that was with magic on their side.

Focusing on the battle, the sergeant rushed at the Adamantoise, striking its left foreleg. Nivien began slashing at its right as Sazh fired off a few distracting shots in its face. It lifted its right leg and Nivien leapt away from its coming step, sighing when it just missed her. Lightning slashed and scraped at the feral creature's leg relentlessly until giving it one final stab. Its left leg began to buckle, but it didn't topple over until a few well-placed shots from Nivien and Sazh hit its right foreleg.

It then crumpled to the ground. Nivien took this opportunity to check the soldiers around the fallen beast. As she suspected, they were all dead. Lightning and Sazh continued their attacks as they shot at the Adamantoise's face. Nivien joined in as she began slashing into the monster. Using one of her most powerful manadrives, Nivien sent a shock into the beast that didn't seem to even tickle the monster.

It slowly stood, leading the party to quickly jump back from the giant. When it gained its stance, the three went back to swiping at its legs and dodging its attacks until it fell back to the ground.

Nivien took the opportunity to yell toward her two battle mates. "We have to leave. They're all dead and we will be too if we don't get out of here."

Lightning wanted nothing but to destroy the monster in front of her, but Nivien was right. They were all already tired, sweaty and sore. The monster was nowhere near death and they couldn't finish it off with just them alone.

The group turned tail and ran. Nivien went to speak into her radio, hoping to get the co-pilot to start up the ship. "Come in, this is Lieutenant La Salle. I need Pockelle to get the ship going. We're on our way back."

"Roger that", came a soldier's reply.

The group continued speeding off toward the ship and they could hear the beast stomping behind them. Their only advantage was that the creature was slow, but even so, its steps were long and covered far distances.

After a few nerve wracking minutes, they finally came upon the ship and jumped inside of it. The beast wasn't far so Nivien yelled toward Pockelle to get them into the air fast.

When it was over and they were safely away from the castle, Sazh took over piloting. Nivien, still completely shocked and infuriated by her soldier's rash actions, walked over to Lightning. She was standing against the wall of the back of the ship, arms crossed. "What the hell was that, Farron? I gave an order and-"

"I didn't agree with it." Lightning came off of the wall and stood before Nivien, her face stoic.

Nivien's eyes flared with anger. "I would have left you back there if Katzroy hadn't run after you, you know that?" She put her hands on her hips as she continued yelling. "You're done. I'm not allowing you off this ship for the rest of the trip." Lightning went to speak, but Nivien turned away from her and began walking back toward the front of the aircraft. "And when we get back to Academia, I'm recommending that you get taken off of the search." She had only made it a few steps when she stopped, hearing a gunblade switch modes. She turned to see that Lightning had drawn her weapon. "Think this through, Farron."

Lightning couldn't believe what she was doing. It was as if her arm had acted of its own accord. She was extremely pissed at the lieutenant for her plans, but she would never draw on a superior officer. Especially when Nivien was right. Lightning had gone rogue back there and endangered everyone. But she wasn't listening to reason anymore. It was as if her body had shut off her brain and was listening only to her emotions. "I have to do this. I'm the one responsible for his abduction. I should have been there to protect him."

Seeing Lightning raise her gunblade, Nivien whipped hers out of its holster. "Don't do it. You know you aren't capable of making the right decisions right now. I know you want to find Hope and so do I-"

"Then how are you so calm", Lightning asked, practically in a yell. The other soldiers stayed away from the two's bickering, trusting their commanding officer to handle it, but it didn't stop them from watching the scene intently.

Hearing the conversation that would no doubt turn into a fight, Sazh gave his copilot the controls. He stood up and walked back to the two women.

"I'm calm because I have to be. You don't think I care, is that it? I know what that was about. You weren't concerned about those soldiers. If you had been thinking, you would have made the same call as me and you know it. That was about you looking for a fight." Lightning's eyes grew wide, her lip curling at the accusation. "You were reckless. Hope needs us to be level-headed or he'll never be found."

Lightning huffed, still not lowering her weapon. "'Cause you know what Hope needs."

Nivien's jaw dropped and it was the lieutenant's turn to lose herself in her emotions. She went to strike Lightning with her weapon, but was easily parried. Lightning sent a kick in her direction, but Nivien blocked it, and in turn almost dropped her weapon. Noticing this, Lightning moved to knock it out of her hand completely, but was stopped by Sazh grabbing her around her waist.

"Now that's enough", he yelled.

Lightning elbowed him in the chest until he let her go. She looked back at Nivien, who now stood with an expression of contempt on her face, and holstered her gunblade. Sighing, she went to walk back to her previous spot. She knew what she had done was stupid and she'd only made it worse. There could be serious consequences for her behavior and actions. _Taking on my superior? What the hell is wrong with me?_

Nivien watched Lightning walk away, but she wasn't finished. She'd allowed herself to be baited into a battle and she couldn't stand it. Worse, she'd been baited with her feelings about Hope. Lightning had questioned hers and Hope's relationship and she wouldn't let that go. "Don't make the mistake of thinking that you are the only one who cares for him."

Lightning froze. Sazh slapped his forehead as he sighed. "Come now. We don't need this. La Salle, don't you think you oughta go over what happened with your soldiers and call base about the incident?" Nivien shot a hard glance at Sazh before nodding and leaving to find out what had happened. He then went over to Lightning who was still frozen in place. "What were ya thinkin', girl? Are you even thinkin'?"

Lightning brushed him off. "Get away from me, Sazh."

"Oh, no. You could have gotten me killed. I think I deserve an explanation." The soldier sat in one of the seats on the wall of the back of the ship. Sazh followed, standing in front of her. When she didn't respond, he continued. "I've seen you pull a lotta crazy shit, Lightning, but that was just dumb."

"I know, alright", Lightning relented, aggravation evident in her voice. "I just... I deserve to be taken off the team and I know it. I shouldn't have been allowed on it in the first place, obviously, but... I was supposed to protect him. I promised him that."

Sazh, deciding it was best to leave her alone, went to return to his job. They still had a few more places to check before returning home, after all. As he went to take back over controls, Nivien grabbed his shoulder. She was on her comm. Her previous pissed expression was now replaced by worry. "We have to go back to base. There's been an emergency. Everyone's being called back in."

* * *

Castea sat at an old desk, listening to Hope's cries of pain. She smirked as she reveled in the continual success of the plan. She had no idea how long it would take for them to bring the boy's brand back, but they would at any cost.

A harsh knock pulled Castea out of her happiness and a look of unpleasantness shot across her face. "Yes", called the woman grumpily.

The door opened and in stepped a man also adorned in a white robe much like Castea's. His eyes were dark, black as earth-ridden coal. His hair was of the same shade and pulled back into a small ponytail. A jagged scar trailed along the left side of his face, marring his otherwise princely features.

"We have a problem."

Rolling her eyes, she stood. "I knew this was all going too smoothly. What is it, Barsilisk?"

"I already have a plan and... have kind of already put it in motion, but I-"

"And you didn't come to me first?" she snarled, eyes filling with rage.

The man gave a constrained smile, unaffected by her small fury. "Please, remain calm, my dear. There was no time." She huffed as he drew closer. "They're headed in our direction."

Castea's gaze darkened. "I thought they didn't know this ark's location?"

"Apparently our intel was wrong. But it doesn't matter, my plan's going fine. I just require some assistance."

* * *

After they had landed back in Academia. All of the soldiers were told to report to G.C. and Calvary headquarters immediately. All except for Nivien, Sazh and Lightning. They were told to stay put in the hangar.

They waited quietly. Nivien and Lightning wanted nothing to do with each other and Sazh was too afraid to say anything to the very pissed and dangerous women. Amodar and Rygdea appeared about ten minutes after their arrival. Nivien and Lightning saluted to the General as he approached. However, he went straight over to Nivien. "We need to talk", he said sternly with sympathy in his eyes. Amodar grasped her shoulder and pulled her away to the other end of the hangar.

Sazh and Lightning turned their attention to Rygdea. His eyes were filled with a mixture of emotions. "What's going on, Rygdea", asked Lightning as she crossed her arms.

He grimaced before raking a hand through his hair. "We've lost a search team."

"What", asked Lightning and Sazh simultaneously. They glanced at each other before Sazh continued. "A whole team? So soon? Which-"

Sazh was cut off by a sharp cry from the other side of the hangar. "No", Nivien shouted. "No, they can't..." They watched her fall to her knees, clutching her sides. The pilot knew the answer to his question immediately.

Rygdea shook his head before speaking. "One of our ships was attacked. When we sent a team to find it, all they found was our crashed ship and Maqui all beaten to hell inside. The rest of the team was nowhere to be found."

Now Lightning understood Nivien's cries. If it was the team that Maqui had been on, then Olly La Salle had been on it as well. They had been put on the team checking the eastern side of Pulse. That was all Lightning knew of their mission. But if only Maqui remained, then that meant Nivien's brother was now missing too.

They watched the woman cry for her brother as Amodar knelt down and put a hand on her shoulder. "Wha-what do we do", asked Sazh

Rygdea sighed. "Maqui woke up in the rescue ship on their way back. He told the medics that it was a bunch of men in black cloaks that had attacked." Lightning looked up from the ground to find Rygdea staring at her as he spoke. "He said that there was one man, a leader in a white robe that told him to tell us something." Rygdea swallowed and clenched his fists tightly. "He said to call off the search or there would be a body a day delivered to us."


	9. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's obvious that the kid means somethin' to ya. This is about more than just a promise... Don't ya think?"

Lightning took a deep cleansing breath. It had been an hour since they'd been given the news and they were now at the hospital on their way to see Maqui. It was just her, Rygdea and Sazh. Amodar and Nivien had left, to the lieutenant's immense displeasure and disapproval, to deal with their remaining soldiers until they could figure out their next move.

The hospital was the last place Lightning wanted to be. She hadn't been inside one since the passing of her mother. The familiarity of the luminescent lighting, the unpleasant fragrance of ammonia and bodily fluids, and the air of the sick and dying all hit her, strangling her with the repressed memories of the countless days and nights of lying beside her ailing parent. For months the young Farron sisters had spent every bit of their spare time in the hospital. On most days, they would just be a presence in their mother's quiet room. Lightning would usually sit in a chair doing her homework while listening to the machines helping their mother live and the muffled crying of Serah. It was a rare occasion when their mother would be awake and an even rarer occasion for her to be lucid enough to recognize her daughters.

One night, while Serah slept in a corner of the dark room, their mom awoke to find her hand held tightly by the elder Farron sister. For a moment, Lightning smiled, thinking that maybe her mother would be herself again and give her that long awaited hug. Only to have that thought shattered as her mother quickly drew her hand back in fear of the young girl beside her, the woman completely unaware of who she was. Within the last few months before her death, the teenager grew to despise and revile her mother. She'd even gone so far as to wish for her mom's death, wanting to end all of the pain and sorrow of that terrible year. Almost immediately she'd taken it back, completely shocked at her own horrible thoughts.

She never forgot that wish. As her sister was clutching desperately onto her side, their mother drawing her last breath and the doctors failing to revive her, it was at the forefront of her thoughts. As she stood in front of the grave, the mahogany casket slowly sinking into the ground, it was the only thing she could think about. And as she sat outside of child services, holding her sister's hand tightly in hers, the wish consumed her.

For Lightning, the hospital was not only a reminder of the fragility of life, but a place that reverted her back into her fifteen-year-old self that so selfishly wanted her mother's demise. It brought back the guilt that she shut off long ago when she chose to become a soldier and forget her past. In fact, it was that guilt that had led the young Claire Farron to become Lightning.

The hurricane of emotions about her mother swirled with those of Hope and threatened to drown the soldier. The grief, guilt, fear and anger all bombarded her, leaving a heavy weight on her heart. She couldn't let it continue. If she wished to go forward, she needed to steel away those thoughts and feelings. It took a few minutes, but by the time they neared the young mechanic's room, she was her usual stoic soldier self.

As they approached the hospital room, they saw Yuj and Lebreau sitting on the ground beside the door. Yuj's face was covered by his hands as he sat with his knees to his chest. Lebreau sat beside him, cross legged with a grim and sympathetic look on her face as her hand rubbed Yuj's shoulder. At the sight of the three approaching, Lebreau stood, hope filling her eyes.

"Have you guys-", Lebreau and Rygdea started simultaneously. Looking away for a brief moment with tears filling the brims of her eyelids, Lebreau continued. "Have you guys found anything?"

Yuj's head popped up at the question, his hands sliding off of his face. There was a serious dullness to the man's expression that didn't belong there. Sazh and Lightning stood with their eyes to the ground as Rygdea stepped forward.

The calvary leader shook his head slowly. "Not yet." Lebreau whimpered as she bit her lip. She tried to calm herself while Rygdea put a hand on her shoulder. "How's Maqui?"

"It's..." The brunet sighed before clearing her throat and giving him a look of determination. "He'll be alright. He's... unconscious right now. He has some nasty bruises and cuts and his shoulder was dislocated. The worst is a few of his ribs are bruised, but-"

"Other than that he's just peachy", yelled Yuj. He stood and looked to those in front of him. He couldn't take it anymore. He didn't know what was happening. He didn't know why it was happening and why it had to involve his friends. He was tired of losing people. The NORA gang had always been his only family. He couldn't stand it if he lost any more of them. "So, Lightning gets attacked and Hope goes missing. Then Olly, Gadot and some soldiers get taken. And now Maqui gets beaten to-to... What next? What do these people want?"

Lightning's eyebrows rose. She had known that Olly had been on Maqui's search team, but Gadot as well? Now she understood the serious gloom that had overtaken the usually peppy two.

Lebreau walked over to Yuj. She tried to pull on his arm, but he shrugged her off. "I mean is this all really just about Hope? They already have him. What does this have to do with-" Yuj stopped short, slamming his back into the wall as he slid down into a squat.

Rygdea stepped toward Yuj, but Lebreau held up a hand, signaling him to stop. He put his hands on his hips instead. "I know this isn't easy, but we need to stay calm and rational." He gave a subtle glance in Lightning's direction. Over the course of the past hour, Rygdea had been briefed on a summary of their mission, along with Lightning's actions and outburst. It thoroughly stunned him. He had been ready to send her home, but decided it was better to keep her close. Who knew what she could do when left on her own? "Yes, this is about Hope. I guess we mighta spooked 'em on our search because the purpose of their attack was to get us to stop looking for him."

Lebreau leaned against the wall on the other side of Yuj, closest to Maqui's door. "Why did they have to take them? And w-why beat up Maqui?"

"They took them as leverage against us and beat up Maqui to show us they mean business." Rygdea sighed, running a frustrated hand through his hair. "If we don't stop the search... Gadot and Olly... as well as the rest of the soldiers... will be killed."

Lebreau gasped, her hand instantly covering her mouth as her light brown eyes widened in horror.

Yuj tensed as his hands turned into fists. "But why all this for Hope? Why do they want him anyway? And why are they willing to go through all this trouble to keep him?"

Just hearing his name was making Lightning's heart hurt. She backed away a few steps until Sazh rested his hand on her shoulder. Steeling her expression before turning back to the group, she nodded to the pilot that she was alright.

Rygdea was about to speak when a nurse came out of Maqui's room. "He's awake." That was all she said before leaving and walking down the hall.

Yuj jumped up and ran inside, quickly followed by Lebreau. The rest of them followed soon after. Maqui laid in the hospital bed, many wires and tubes stuck into his arms, looking like he'd been dragged out of hell. The young man's eyes widened with joy and a hint of guilt at the sight of his friends. Lebreau and Yuj jumped on him, hugging him the first chance they got, both on opposite sides of the bed.

"Okay, guys", spoke Maqui, muffled by Lebreau's shoulder. "I'm okay. Jeez, it's not like I died or anything." He laughed a bit before wincing. The two quickly let him go in fear that they may have harmed their best friend.

"We're just glad you're okay, Maq." Lebreau smiled as she hugged him again and Yuj punched him ever-so-gently on the arm.

"Yeah, don't worry us like that, dude." The blue-haired man's smile was strained, but gentle. He wasn't going to take his frustration out on Maqui.

"Alright", the mechanic replied, chuckling. Glancing up at the others in the room, Maqui's face turned serious. "Are they really gone? I didn't just imagine it, right? If I could only be so lucky."

Sazh sat down in a nearby chair, knowing that he had nothing to really contribute in this conversation. He was just glad that the kid was alright. These attacks were getting messy enough.

Lightning smiled inwardly at the sight before her. She didn't want anyone else getting caught up in this mess. She knew this was about Hope. She knew that the moment the man had called her Guardian and asked her if she had what she needed. If this was all truly about Hope, then Maqui, Gadot, Olly and those soldiers all didn't need to be hurt as well. She was glad that the young mechanic was alright, but she was anxious to get answers from him. Wanting nothing more than to find Hope, she listened intently to the conversation while leaning on a wall beside Sazh.

"No, sorry to say ya didn't imagine it. What do you remember", Rygdea calmly asked.

Lebreau stepped forward hesitantly before the blond could speak. "Can't this wait? I mean, Maqui just woke up."

"Unfortunately, no. We need all the information we can get. If we can't find all of the search team soon... we'll have no choice but to stop the search all together and give in to their demands."

Those words cut into Lightning like a knife. She put her whole being into the search for Hope, and it only just started. Her only goal now in life was to save him. They couldn't give up. _I'll die first._ Despite the storm inside of her, she kept quiet, praying to the goddess that it wouldn't be the case.

Sazh noticed the slight shift in the soldier's stance. Knowing he was going to have to keep an eye on her until they found Hope, he let his head fall back to the wall behind him.

"It's okay, guys, really." Maqui sat up some as he tried to reassure his friends. "I want to do what I can to help find everyone."

Lebreau and Yuj reluctantly backed off and took the seats beside Sazh as Rygdea came over to Maqui's side. The elder man sat on the edge of the bed by his feet. "Okay, why don't you just tell us what you remember."

The young man brought his hand up to his head, digging his nails into his scalp as he focused. "Everything was going fine. We'd just finished searching the abandoned village of Nalquif when there was a large charge of electricity that seemed to surge throughout the ship. It fried all of the circuits and we could no longer control anything. We started to fall and fall and fall. I swear my stomach found a new home in my throat." Maqui's eyes widened at the memory and he felt queasy just thinking about it. He had trouble with normal turbulence when flying. _That_ had been god awful. "Just as we were about to hit the ground, it was like an invisible hand caught us. The sudden stop jerked us all forward and most of us tumbled to the front."

"A few moments passed and just as we all thought it was safe to stand again, the ship smashed down into the ground. I fell forward against the wall and ended up getting knocked out. I came to not long after, though. Next thing I knew there was some gunshots and yelling before everyone seemed to freeze. My vision was incredibly blurry, mind you, so I rubbed my eyes, but... I was correct. Everyone was frozen like-like time had stopped."

Sazh furrowed his brow and sat forward. "Were you?"

He shook his head quickly before carrying on. "No, and I thought it was weird too. But I had fallen half into the weapon storage closet, so whoever... did it couldn't see me, I guess. Anyway, I heard the ship open up while everyone was frozen in place. It was like those guys were controlling the ship from the outside. Buttons and controls were moving by themselves." Maqui stopped to catch his breath, his words having been rushed out in his haste to explain. "Three big, and I mean _big,_ guys came on the ship in these black cloaks. I didn't know what to do so I..." He drew in a deep breath. He didn't want to say it. "...I'm not proud of myself, guys. Not at all." Glancing at all of the eyes in the room, he clasped his hands together and rested them back on the bed. "I pushed myself back in the closet."

Hanging his head in shame, Maqui didn't wish to see all of their expressions. They now knew how he survived. He was a coward. "I couldn't see anything else from there, but I heard a man giving orders. Then there were a few loud thumps and grunts. Another guy called him something like Master Hidden or Hi... Hi... something. I couldn't get all of it. Then there was silence. It went on for minutes that felt like centuries. I thought it was over, but then a shadow came over the light on me and... there was a hooded man. He picked me up by my collar and dragged me out." Maqui was visibly shaking now and his eyes were shut.

Lebreau came up beside him and put an arm around his shoulders, gently so as to not touch any of his injuries. She hated having Maqui recall the events, but she understood the importance of his information and his determination to get it all out.

The blond took a shuddering breath before continuing. "He threw me onto the floor in the middle of the ship. Then a man came up before me. He had black hair tied up in a bun. There was... a scar on his face, under his left eye. I figured he was the leader since his cloak or hooded robe or whatever-it-was had been different. It was white. One of the giants went to... do something to me, but the guy stopped him. He said I could be of use. He knelt in front of me and smirked... he smirked!" Maqui was yelling furiously now. "He was the guy that had probably orchestrated everything... this whole mess and he was smirking. I was quaking in fear then, but..." He calmed a bit with another shaky exhalation. "Now I just wish I'd fought back. But that's not important", he spat. "He told me to remember what he was going to say to me. He said that he was taking my friends, but he swore he wouldn't harm them unless it came to it. That he just wanted us to stop looking because Hope was fine."

Lightning came off the wall and stood, tense as ever. Her ears perked as she impatiently waited for further information.

"...And everyone else will be as well, as long as we stop the search. If we don't, they'll deliver a body a day to us. If we continue even after they've... gone through what they have..." Maqui swallowed. "...Then they'll just get more. And he said that after that, he wouldn't be able to ensure H-Hope's safe return. That they... Maker, they..." Sniffing, he was unable to finish.

Lightning's eyes narrowed. She wanted to smack the little runt holding information, but she held herself back, unsure of how many more incidents she could get away with. So, she calmly, well, as calmly as she could manage, asked him, "They'll what?" All eyes went to her, but she didn't care. She wanted answers. Rygdea, in response, gave her a warning look.

Maqui, looking straight into her cerulean stare, responded. "They may have to keep a few pieces." He then squeezed his eyes shut and covered them. "Maker, how could this happen?"

Lightning felt her stomach plummet inside her. She then felt bile rise in her throat, but she tried to remain calm and hold it back. _No. They can't do that to him. They can't. I'll kill them. I'll kill them all._

Sazh bent forward in his chair, his head in his hands. "That kid... Maker knows what they want with him if their willing to..."

Lebreau and Yuj exchanged worried glances, both having parallel thoughts. They couldn't believe it. In order to save Olly and Gadot, they'd have to give up looking for Hope, leaving him to be subjected to whatever horrors his captors were going to put him through.

Rygdea was shocked. He was speechless for one of the first times in his life. He was now completely unsure if this whole thing could have a good outcome or not. _Please, Etro, let him be safe._ Truly, Hope had become like a son in the man's eyes. Which to Rygdea was quite shocking considering he had sworn off having kids his whole life. But Hope had filled a void that he hadn't known even existed. A void that longed for a family. Even before the kid's father had passed, they had been close. Hope would always come to him or Sazh with the questions or concerns he was too embarrassed to talk about with his father. They would also talk and spar when his dad was too busy with all of the jobs his position bestowed upon him. Hell, he was the person who taught Hope how to use a gunblade. And after Bartholomew's death, they'd only gotten closer. He'd never want to replace Hope's father, not by any means, but it meant the world to him that he could be there for Hope when the kid needed it.

Maqui dropped his hands to his lap. "Then the man signaled the guys around me and they started hitting me. After the first couple of blows... I was out." He turned his head away from everyone, ashamed.

Rygdea stood. "You did the right thing, Maqui." The young mechanic's eyes shot toward him. "You survived. If you'd tried to fight... you probably wouldn't be with us now." The man squeezed Maqui's shoulder gently before thanking him and leaving the room. Lightning and Sazh followed while Lebreau and Yuj stayed with their injured companion.

Shutting the door behind him, Sazh turned to Rygdea. "What now?"

Before Rygdea could speak, Lightning cut him off. "Don't you dare say it." She glared at him, fists balled at her sides. She knew what he was going to say for she knew how they had to handle the situation. Really, they had no choice. They couldn't risk the lives of more soldiers and people for the life of one man. Even if said man was their leader. Lightning just couldn't and wouldn't accept it.

Rygdea heaved a heavy sigh, not wanting to hash it out with her, but finding it unavoidable. She wasn't going to like what he had to say. "We have to end-"

Lightning punched him square in the jaw. "I said don't", she practically pleaded.

Holding his jaw, he turned back toward her, glancing at Sazh, who just put his hands up, resigning himself from this battle. Having had little interaction with the woman, Rygdea hadn't expected her reaction. From the small time he'd known her as l'Cie, what he'd heard about her from Hope, Sazh and Amodar, and from what he'd been told about the mission, he really should have. But he hadn't, so it had taken him by surprise. "Lightning, please. I can't believe it either, but we have to."

Her shoulders tensed and she bit her lip. The man did seem to care a lot about Hope and his words were laden with regret. She could tell he wanted to find him almost as much as she did.

Before anymore words could be uttered, Lebreau quietly came out. "Maqui said he forgot something. He said... that the main leader guy, was definitely a l'Cie." She waited for a reaction to register on their faces before going on. "He said... his brand was on his neck, under his ear." She placed her hand on the spot of her neck that Maqui had shown her when explaining the brand. "He said it wasn't like the one Snow had shown us though. It was like... all white... he said." She quickly turned back into the room.

They stood silent for a moment before Rygdea cautiously spoke. "Wasn't Fang's-"

"Yeah", Sazh replied.

* * *

It was now around midnight as Sazh and Lightning walked back to their rooms. They had been told to go home and rest up. They were due at G.C. Headquarters in the morning to discuss the future of the search.

Lightning walked to her door and stopped, resting her forehead on the door frame for a moment, steadying her emotions.

Sazh looked toward her from halfway inside his own room. He knew the woman wasn't handling everything well. _He_ wasn't even handling it well. His mind just kept thinking about Hope and whether or not the l'Cie group had been lying. Hope could already be dead for all they knew. And so could the missing group of soldiers. "You okay?"

She didn't answer and instead quickly unlocked her door. She froze just as she entered. The first thing to hit her line of sight was the couch. Almost immediately she turned, leaving the room and slamming the door shut behind her. She leaned her back against the door and closed her eyes.

Sazh was now quite confused. _What is going on with this girl?_

As soon as her eyes had locked onto the couch, her breathing stopped as her heart began beating rapidly. It was as if it had been the other night again when Hope had slept over. She saw him laying blissfully asleep on her couch. His breathing was slow and steady. His left hand rested just under his face, gloved fingers lost in his messy hair. His face was so peaceful. All of it played over in her vision in the span of a few seconds, before she couldn't bear to see it any longer. She had no choice but to leave her room.

Sazh waited for her to say something, to move, to breathe, anything. When he realized she actually wasn't breathing, he went over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. Jolting at the touch, she grabbed his hand and bent it painfully backwards. Just before he was about to cry out, she let go, realizing what happened. "Damn, Lightning. What the hell?"

Lightning turned away from him, arms crossed. "Sorry... reflex."

She said nothing more, causing the old man to sigh. "Alright, look, somethin' is obviously going on with you and..." He stopped, receiving a dangerous glare from the soldier. "... and I'm not going to make you tell me nothin' or anythin', but I think you should stay in my place. I'll take the couch and you can have the bed. I just don't think you should be-"

"I'll take the couch", the roseate replied as she turned and went into his room. She knew she couldn't face that memory again, so going back into her room wasn't an option. Although she didn't want to impose on Sazh, she figured it would just be one night. She'd get over it by tomorrow. Or she would force herself to.

Quickly following behind, he shut the door and locked it before getting out an extra pillow and blanket from the closet. He knew better than to argue with the woman. His old bones wouldn't have enjoyed the couch much anyhow.

Accepting the pillow and blanket while thanking Sazh, she set up the couch. She knew she wasn't going to be able to sleep, but she had to try. If she was going to be of any use for finding Hope, she needed to rest. Sazh went into his room after they exchanged their good nights. Lightning laid on the couch, body begging for sleep, but her mind wouldn't have it. All she wanted was to find Hope, bring him home and kill whoever these people were that had taken him away.

A few long drawn out hours later and Lightning was still awake. She now sat up on the edge of the couch, a cup of coffee nursed in her hands. All she could think about now was what the past day would have been like if Hope had been there. She wondered if they would have continued to get along. If they would have gotten through the stack of papers on his desk with the same amount of ease as before. If they would have gotten lunch from Jun and eaten it on the stone steps again. If they would have continued to learn more about each other.

She put her palm to her eye, rubbing it and stopping the never ending questions. It didn't matter what could have happened. All that mattered was what had happened. The fact was that Hope hadn't been there. All the 'what if's' in the world couldn't change that. She dropped her hand back to her lap as Sazh came out of his room.

"It's three o'clock in the mornin' girl. What are you doin' up?" His words were a tad slurred, having just awoken. He rubbed his hand on his cheek as he made his way to the small kitchen.

"I could ask you the same thing. I made some coffee. Hope you don't mind."

"Nah, that's great actually. I need it. Haven't slept a wink, really. I suppose same goes for you?" He grabbed a mug and poured the coffee in before dumping about a cup of sugar in it and making his way over to the couch.

Lightning moved her legs out of the way, giving him room to sit. After he made himself comfortable, she replied. "Yeah. I guess sleep's just going to have to wait." A few minutes passed as they let the quiet settle over them. "Can I ask you... a personal question, Sazh?"

The man furrowed his brow. The soldier wasn't usually the get-to-know-you type, but then again, without the constant battles and fighting for their lives, what else was there. Her presence was still completely new to him after two years of it just being him and Hope. "Not at all. Shoot... but I don't mean that literally, soldier", he added with a chuckle.

She gave him a half smile in return. "What was your wife like?"

Sazh's face turned serious. He set his cup down on the table beside him and shifted his body so that he was facing her. "Why do ya wanna know?"

Why indeed. There was really no point in knowing. Sazh's past was his past. But there was a small part of her that wanted to know a bit more of what made him the man he was. The same part that had sought out more information about Hope. He was a good friend. At least, that's what she thought. They'd been through enough together. "I guess... since we're already up and... I don't know much about you, Sazh. I guess I was just curious." She mimicked his actions and now sat straight up against the arm rest of the couch, looking into his eyes with a considerate gaze.

Unsure of how to continue the conversation, he put a hand to his chin. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk about his wife. Quite the contrary, he loved talking about her. It brought him joy to share all of his fond memories of her with others. He'd told Hope many things about his wife. It was what happened after that gave him pause. When the fond, happy memories turned grim. "How about I tell you about her and then you answer a few questions of mine, a'ight? Sound good?"

Lightning's gaze darkened as she crossed her arms. She nodded her head after considering his proposal and waited for him to talk.

"Well, her name was Wilda. She had this gorgeous chocolate colored hair that cascaded in waves down her back. She had these _stunning_ hazel eyes that were just... and her voice was the sweetest thing I'd ever heard. When she'd sing, all my troubles just weren't so troublin' anymore." Sazh's eyes glazed over with happiness as he stared off past Lightning. He was no longer in the room with her. He was far off, enjoying the remembrance of his wife. "She was one of the most kind and caring people you'd ever met. She taught tenth grade and you could just tell that she loved her job. I'd get up in the mornin' and be greeted with the most delicious smellin' food on the table accompanied by her smile. She was a terrible cook when I met her..." He laughed, still in his own world. "... but she got better as time passed. She even took cookin' classes because she wanted to make little ole me happy. And when we had Dajh... Goddess, she was such a wonderful mother." A small tear fell down his cheek as he came back into reality.

Lightning felt very uncomfortable and terrible for asking the question. She hadn't meant to make him upset. "I'm sorry, Sazh, I didn't mean to-"

"No, Lightning. It's quite alright. I love getting to share her memory with others. Especially with my new family."

Lightning looked up from her hands, shocked. It was true that she considered all of her l'Cie friends as family, but she didn't know that Sazh had felt the same way. She smiled slightly. The darkness and stillness of the room hung over their heads for a minute.

Sazh rubbed his cheek before smirking. "Alright, now it's my turn."

Lightning sat up straight turning her expression stoic, readying herself for whatever questions he was going to throw at her. She didn't like it in the least. Sharing things about herself wasn't something she did with many, or anyone at all. But it was only fair.

"What's with you and Hope? And I want honesty." He waved a finger at her as she frowned.

"What do you mean?" With Sazh's expression, she knew he wanted more. "I told him I'd protect him. I'm keeping my promise. Besides, he of all people doesn't deserve this, Sazh. You know that." Hoping that, that was enough, she brought her legs up onto the couch and sat cross legged, waiting for another question.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "I said honest."

She glanced in his direction before turning her head away, rolling her eyes. "I don't-"

"Enough bullshit, Lightning." Her attention snapped back toward him at his harsh tone. "I've never seen you so torn up, ever... except maybe about your sister. You lost it when you couldn't find him until you had to be sedated. And you took on an Adamantoise. An _Adamantoise_ , Lightning! You were going after that thing by yourself. Not to mention your little tiffs with Nivien and Rygdea." She looked away until he grabbed her knee and shook it to get her to look at him. "It's obvious that the kid means somethin' to ya. This is about more than just a promise... Don't ya think?"

Unwilling to explore what Sazh was getting at, she stood. "I'm going to visit Serah. And then I... I'm gonna go for a run. I need to clear my head." Sazh didn't say another word as she left the small apartment.

She practically ran to the stasis room, not slowing down for a moment. She ended up brushing against and bumping into many late workers, but she didn't care. When she finally reached it, she rushed in, wasting no time to get to her sister's side. Falling to her knees, she placed her hand on its usual spot over Serah's hands.

Panting as she tried to regain control over the storm brewing within, the elder Farron shook her head. "I'm sorry I haven't been to see you in a while. It's been a hectic couple of days." Lightning stopped and sucked in a deep breath, trying to make up for those that she'd lost in her mad rush to get there. She didn't know why she thought seeing her sister would help. Maybe it was because her sister usually calmed her. Or maybe it was because Serah reminded her that she wasn't a complete failure.

 _'You did protect her. Serah is safe, crystallized but safe. Thanks to you, she will wake up to a new world that will welcome her, instead of threaten her.'_ Hope's words played in her mind. He'd had no idea how much those words had soothed her worry for her sister. But now, all those words did, was remind her of her failure with him. "I lost him, Serah. I can't believe-" Stopping, she let out a slow, hollow laugh. "You don't even know him, huh", asked Lightning, chuckling as she spoke. "You'd like him, though. He's just like you. Smart, kind, caring... gentle... a real pain in the ass when he wants to be... His name's Hope, by the way." She smiled. "You can tell that he hates his name, but it and he himself brought us hope throughout our journey. I don't think... I have to find him, Serah. I just have to."

She got up and lightly caressed Serah's crystallized cheek with her hand. She then left, continuing with her plan to go for a run. Her body was exhausted and pleading for rest, but she didn't listen to it. Her mind was a jumbled mess. The only way she knew to really clear it, was by running.

She stepped outside the Academy building, shivering at the cold early morning air. She reached behind her, looking for the comfort of her gunblade, but it wasn't there. She'd left it in Sazh's apartment in her haste to leave the conversation. She felt a tad weak and naked without it, but she shook those feelings away. She didn't need her gunblade to take on an enemy. Nothing would dare mess with her in her current state.

She ran for what felt like hours, over sidewalks, through parks, through construction sites, through open fields, but she stayed in Academia. She wasn't afraid to take on a monster, but she wasn't suicidal. Without her weapon, she could fare, but she wouldn't do half as well. The rush of the cool breeze flying over her skin did wonders for her rampaging thoughts. The air numbed her body and her mind. There was no telling how long she had been running for, but since the sky was becoming brighter and brighter, she figured it been at least a couple hours.

After she thought it had been long enough and her mind had been sufficiently cleared, she ran back for the Academy building. She kept up her pace, but as her eyes locked on the building, exhaustion crept back into her. Her legs felt like lead and her stomach muscles began to ache. As she hit the small forest behind the building, her body began to give. _No, you're almost there. You can do this. You won't fail._ Even as she gave herself those words of encouragement, she began to stumble. Her legs stopped pumping beneath her and she almost collapsed, only slightly catching herself by holding onto a tree. Catching her breath, she felt like her lungs had shriveled up.

Then she felt her stomach churn. She bent forward and puked at the base of the tree. The vomit burned her throat and she tried to hold it back, but she couldn't. When she thought she was done, she stood back up only to hunch over and vomit again.

Wiping her mouth, she walked forward, slowly and shakily. She made it about six steps before she fell on all fours. Her body screamed at her, mad for being overexerted. She couldn't blame it, she had pushed it incredibly hard. She'd only wanted to get out of her head for a while. It worked too. It worked so well that she hadn't wanted to stop, so she'd kept going.

As she waited for the world to quit spinning, her mind fell back into its worries. All that she'd put her poor, tired body through, now being for nothing. Her anger at Hope and herself came back - along with every other emotion she'd previously staved off. Her mind started over with it's list of what if's and all of the different ways she'd mucked everything up.

Memories began to swirl in her mind. All of Hope. From their first meeting back when they'd gotten their brands, to him sticking with her even after being left, to her protecting him from Odin, to his growing strength and determination in the Gapra Whitewood, to their hug and promise in Palumpolum, to his summoning of Alexander, to holding his hand as they floated from Cocoon. And to even her newest memories of Hope. Seeing him all grown, him saving her from the Gargonopsid, them holding hands, their hug in his house, his heartbeat... they wouldn't stop. It all tortured and tormented her until she could no longer stand it. Tears now fell freely down her face. She couldn't hold her grief back any longer. She could only be so strong. Fisting her right hand, she beat it against the ground as she rested her forehead in the cool dirt. Hope's name fell from her lips in a pained whisper before she cried out and yelled into the air.

She stayed like that for who knows how long. It was as if time had stopped for her. All of her sorrow just flew out of her. She let it all out. Her mind and body were spent. She hadn't slept, she'd run herself into the ground, and now her emotions were killing her inside. It wasn't until someone placed a hand on her back that she came back from her agony.

"Lightning?"

She faintly heard the voice. She knew she recognized it, but her mind just couldn't process it.

"C'mon, girl. Get up. This ain't no time to be lyin' around." Sazh tried to stay upbeat, but he was now extremely concerned about Lightning. He cautiously put his hands around her waist, attempting to get her up. She made no effort to resist and ended up on her knees. He looked into her face. Her expression seemed dead and lost. "Lightning?" Putting his hands on her upper arms, he gently shook her.

Snapping out of her slump, she blinked rapidly. "Sazh?"

He smiled nervously in return. "Hey, let's get ya outta here, huh?" She nodded and attempted to stand, but almost collapsed back down. Putting her arm over his shoulder, and his around her waist, he walked with her a few steps before she quit walking. Finally, he just picked her up and grew even further worried when she didn't protest.

Making it back to her apartment, he stopped, setting Lightning down against the wall. She'd fallen asleep on their way there, but he needed her card. "Lightning? Wake up." Her face scrunched up as she woke, but her eyes remained closed. He smirked. "I guess I'll just have to go to the meetin' without ya."

Her eyes shot open and her hazy azure orbs met his concerned gaze. "Wait, what?" She attempted to sit up, but the movement was too fast and she fell back, Sazh catching her.

"Hey, glad to have ya back. We need to get you back into your room, though."

Mindlessly, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her key. She attempted to stand, but Sazh took her key-card from her light grasp and unlocked the door. Helping her up, he got her inside. He tried to lead her to her bedroom, but she stopped. "No." She let go of Sazh and gained her balance on her feet. "I'm gonna take a shower." She took a step forward before stopping for a split second and continuing on.

"Alright, well, I'm gonna wait here. Jus' to make sure you're... ya know." Her bathroom door shut behind her. He took a seat on the couch and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. _Man, kids these days._ He laid down for a minute, trying to rest for a small nap.

Lightning hazily looked at herself in the mirror. Dirt and sweat covered her face. She was shivering cold. Her clothes stuck to her uncomfortably. She began to undress, but winced as her body cried out in pain with every small movement. After the trying time of getting her filthy outfit off, she got in the shower. After a few minutes of the hot water on her skin, she felt herself coming back. The aches lessened and her mind focused on the calming feeling of the water. She would think of her shame and embarrassment later, but for now, she lost herself in the soothing warmth of the shower.

She walked out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around her body, and searched the room for Sazh. She was about to come to the conclusion that he'd left when she heard someone in her room.

Sazh set her gunblade down on her bed and as he was about to leave, Lightning walked in. "Oh, hey. Sorry to intrude... I just." She glanced at her gunblade before giving him a small nod of gratitude. "You look much better." He rubbed the back of his neck. As he went to leave to allow her to dress, he spotted a small blue-green bandana folded neatly on her desk. He picked it up and held it. _It's Hope's, but..._ Sazh looked up at the young woman, wondering why she had it. He knew how important it was to Hope.

Lightning's eyes widened as Sazh picked up Hope's bandana. She had meant to give it to Hope the day he had disappeared. She'd washed it and everything, but she'd simply forgotten. Sazh questioned her about it with his eyes. "He lent it to me for something." She crossed her arms as she looked away, entirely uncomfortable with the reemerging torrent of emotions threatening to breach her newly constructed wall.

Sazh rubbed the fabric between his fingers, nostalgia wearing at his psyche. "It was from his mother." Lightning's eyes went to the bandana as her lips parted. "She gave it to him for his fourteenth birthday, not long before..." He sighed and shook his head. "If he let you hold onto it, then..." He looked over at her, seeing that her eyes held slight shock.

"I had no idea."

"Who knew that kid, the youngest of us, could have ended up bein' so strong. He helped us in more ways than he knows, that's for sure." He set the cloth back down on the desk, giving it a final brush with his fingertips. "Look, Lightning, you gotta stop this. You aren't gonna find him if you're dead. What happened out there, anyway?"

She was still gazing at Hope's bandana. Her hands trembled slightly before she closed her eyes. "How'd you find me?" She opened her eyes to see Sazh's look of annoyance at her avoidance of his question.

He crossed his arms and shook his head at her stubborn evasiveness. "You had been gone for a while. It was six o'clock when I decided to hunt for you. I called Alyssa and asked her to locate ya for me. I figured with you bein' so close, I woulda met ya on the way there. But I found ya where she said you were. It was a good thing I came for ya too cuz-"

"Thank you, Sazh."

Sazh calmed his stance. She was at least listening to him now.

"I'm going to try and get my act together, but if we-" Her voice caught and her eyes watered just a tad before she cleared her throat. "If the search gets canceled, I don't know what I'm going to do."

Sazh drew her into a hug he didn't expect her to accept. In truth, he didn't know what he was going to do either. With Dajh in stasis, he'd become very dependent on Hope's presence. Even if he didn't get to see him much with his hectic schedule as director, knowing where he was and that he was safe, was all Sazh had needed.

* * *

Three and a half hours had passed by since her last talk with Sazh. It was ten in the morning and they sat in a conference room in G.C. headquarters. She had only gotten a catnap in before coming, so she was still thoroughly exhausted, but too anxious to mind. She, Sazh, Rygdea, Hildough, Nivien and Amodar sat around the table awaiting their last member before starting their meeting.

A loud, forceful knock sounded from the door. "Come in", Amodar bellowed.

A young soldier stepped in looking quite annoyed. "Mr. Harleen, sir."

A slender middle aged man walked in behind him. He had short brown hair that reminded Lightning of Bartholomew's. Actually, he looked a lot like Hope's father. The man even had similar wire-framed glasses. He was dressed in an expensive suit and was impeccably clean-cut, although the scowl on his face made him look fairly unfriendly. "Well, I'm glad to see you haven't started yet. The traffic is horrendous."

Amodar just smiled courteously and nodded. "It's nice of you to join us, Harleen. Now, as Rygdea and I have discussed. We..." he paused, warily looking at those around the table. "... will not be continuing the search."

Lightning closed her eyes in disdain. The meeting had only just started and she felt her insides begin to crumble. They couldn't stop. Could they really just stop and forget about Hope? Could they really just move on with their lives as if he meant nothing? As she felt herself begin to crack, there was a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder. She opened her eyes to see that Sazh was trying to help her keep it together. His hand lingered there for a while.

She looked around the table to see how everyone else took it. Rygdea had a dark look in his eyes, speaking volumes of how much he loathed the decision. Nivien's head was in her hands as her elbows rested on the table, visibly distressed. Hildough's eyes were drawn down, staring sullenly at his open notebook in front of him where he was making a small lethargic note. Amodar looked sympathetic with a veiled hurt only visible in the strained creases near his eyes. Harleen looked... simply impatient.

The general continued. "As much as I dislike giving in to these people, we have no choice. That team is out there somewhere and if our compliance means they return home safely, then I don't see another option. From what I've heard, these... l'Cie are extremely powerful and we aren't sure how to take them on. One of our best fighters..." He gave a small glance to Lightning. "... was able to take on six of them and survive, but not without getting her share of injuries. Now we aren't giving up on our director, not by any means. He is an exceptional young man who is detrimental to the operation of this city. He is a great leader and friend. We'll have to hope and pray that he is returned to us safely."

"This isn't fair", spoke Nivien through her hands.

Amodar looked toward his lieutenant. "La Salle?"

She dropped her hands to reveal her grief stricken face. Tears threatened to fall, her will being the only thing holding them back. "To what end? What keeps them from giving us more demands? We're just supposed to trust their word? And fine, we end the search and they don't... kill them, but then what?" She stood, slamming her hands on the table. "How long will they keep them? Until they're finished doing all of their unmakerly things with Hope? When will that be? And what happens when they're done with him? Do they just let him and my brother go and leave? To what end, huh?" Tears finally began to fall as she stepped away from the table. "Excuse me." She left the room as the door slammed behind her.

"And that's why women just shouldn't be involved in these matters", said Harleen, smirking. He looked up to see Lightning's dangerously dark gaze resting on him. "No offense, love."

Lightning was ready to pounce on the man, but Hildough spoke up. "As much as we appreciate your presence, Mr. Harleen, those comments are not appreciated." He leaned back in his chair before crossing his left leg over his right, giving him a warning stare.

"Right", joined Amodar. "We are also going to limit our trips out into Pulse, so they don't mistake us for continuing our search. The only travels any of our ships will be making will be to Sanctum City for necessary meetings and trading. As well as to our current cities under construction."

Rygdea sat back in his chair, crossing his arms. "So that means most of our missions are being shut down?"

"Temporarily." Amodar folded his arms and rested them on the table. "Since your current main objective was..." He gave Harleen a sidelong glance. "...Director Estheim's project, all future plans and discussions for that shall also be put on hold, so that took out much of your current work anyhow. Now, how is Mr. DeWald, the twenty-three year old mechanic? I know he worked very closely with the director, but why was he on the mission in the first place?"

Sazh sat up, finally being of some use in the conversation. "Hope or... uh, Director Estheim did work very closely with... Mr. DeWald, but Maqui... uh" He sighed, giving up the professionalism he just wasn't built for. "Maqui also works with the Academy on multiple projects. He went because he wanted to help search for Hope, but not just that. His other purpose was to be there in case the ship needed any repairs. He is one of the best damn mechanics I know. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else for the job. Knowing the ship they were on, I'd say it was a good thing he was there. That thing has been in sore need of a fix or two."

Rygdea smirked. "Mr. DeWald is fine. He's recovering quickly and has given us some useful information as you've seen from the report."

Harleen sighed as he began playing with his cufflinks. "Yes, yes, this is all good and dandy. Now can we get on with more pressing matters? Hmmm? Like why you want my son to be the new director?

 _New director?_ Certainly she hadn't heard him right. It had been two days and they were already going to replace Hope? Lightning felt her already flimsy calm start to fade away.

Hildough turned toward the irritating man. "It was Director Estheim's choice. As director, he gets to pick his successor."

"So we're replacing one _child_ with another? And an even younger one to boot. I stood by and let this place be ruled by the young Estheim in respect to Bartholomew's wishes, but this is too much." The man gritted his teeth while rubbing his cheek harshly. "I won't allow it. He's my son and I say-"

"If I am correct..." Hildough cut him off. "...and I do believe that I am, the boy is emancipated. He gets to make any decision he wants. He already signed off on his consent when the director chose him."

Harleen huffed. "He's seventeen. My Maker, at least Estheim was legally an adult when he took over. I mean... this is insane."

A knock sounded from the door before a young man stepped through. "Ya talkin' about me?" Dark violet eyes peered at everyone from beneath shaggy brown locks. He looked every bit the teenager he was, from his rumpled black and red striped, long sleeve shirt, to his faded, ripped jeans, to the clunky boots that made his already heavy footfalls heavier, to the casual slump of his shoulders. The very air of nonchalance.

Harleen drove his palm into his face. "I told you to wait at your apartment."

The kid shrugged. "And I told you I wanted to go to the meeting. If I'm going to be the new director-"

"You're not", Harleen snapped. "Cassidy, you're too young and that's final."

"It's Cass. And it's not up to you." Cass gave his father a smirk before sitting at the table. "Where were we?"

 _Hope chose_ him _to take over his position. I've never even spoken with the kid and I already want to slap that smug smile off his face._

"It's nice to see you out and about, Cass", greeted Sazh. "It's not often we see you in the light of day."

"Yeah, daylight isn't my most favorite thing in the world, but I'll do what I have to for Hope. Since my friend is being selfish and taking an unwarranted vacation, I guess I gotta fill in for him." He sat back and put his feet on the table, folding his arms behind his head.

Now Lightning really wanted to smack him.

Harleen shoved his son's feet to the floor in a huff. "Do you really want _this_..." He gestured to Cass with a horrified look, "... running your city."

Amodar only chuckled. "From what I know of Cassidy, he's an intelligent young man, second only to the director himself. He seems, from his record anyway, to be a perfect candidate for the job. He has been chosen by Estheim and seems more than willing to step up to the plate. I see no problem with it. He shall be our director until Estheim is back in our midst and ready to reclaim his position. As long as the now Director Harleen-"

"It's Leonald." Cass gave a disgusted glance towards his father. "I took my mother's name."

"Right. As long as Director Leonald doesn't fall behind on his duties, he should be fine in the position. Director Estheim proved to be a very worthy leader despite his age, I have no doubt you will too."

Harleen growled as he shook his head and stood. "And who will protect him?" He turned toward his son beside him. "Did you think about how dangerous this could be? They could have taken Estheim _because_ of his position."

Cass rolled his eyes before closing them, uncaring towards his father's displeasure. "Don't worry so much. You already have a bazillion worry lines on your forehead. Haven't you been listening to sis?" Cass opened his eye just enough to see the pissed look on his father's face. "I'll have bodyguards, right, General? I know Hope had them, although he hated it... thoroughly."

"Yes and look what good that did." Harleen took off his glasses and threw them onto the table.

The action only caused Cass to sigh. "I don't think you need to break _another_ pair."

Amodar cleared his throat, hoping to cut in. "I shall..." He thought to himself for a moment until his eyes landed on Lightning. "...Sergeant Farron shall be your personal guard... you'll still have the others of course, but she won't leave your side unless necessary."

Lightning's eyes darted toward Amodar, but before she could speak, the General tilted his head and gave her a stern eye.

Harleen laughed bitterly. "Her? I'm sorry, but I don't think-"

"Alright", yelled Cass. He sat up, folding his arms on the table before looking over Lightning.

She couldn't believe it. Not only was she not going to be able to look for Hope, which was killing her inside, she was going to have to babysit some ass hole kid who seemed to have zero respect for his father. Yes, Harleen seemed to be quite an irritating dick as well, but he appeared to generally care about his son and his safety. Lightning could only hope to get out of it somehow. Maybe the kid wouldn't want her to? _Yeah, because my luck has been so great lately._

Cass smirked as he finished eying her. "She seems perfect." Harleen started to speak, but Cass held up a hand. "End of discussion. I'll be _protected_. Just be happy with that."

Harleen slammed his hand down on the table in front of his son. When Cass didn't move or even look in his direction, he grabbed the collar of Cass' shirt. He pulled the kid out of his chair and threw him to the ground, forcing his gaze to meet him.

Lightning's eyes widened and she could now see why Cass had such an oppositional attitude towards his father. Sazh, Hildough and Amodar tensed, looking ready to jump into the affair.

Rygdea stood. "Hey, now, Burien... why don't ya just... go take a breather?"

Hildough shut his notebook and put it inside his briefcase before standing as well. "Yes, it is getting a little hot in here. I think some fresh air would be very beneficial. Please, do join me, Harleen." He walked over to the two, carefully stepping around a stunned Cass, and put his hand on Harleen's shoulder. Grumbling, the man nodded and left the room, followed by a sighing Hildough.

Cass wiped his brow before getting up and retaking his seat. "Well, that was fun."

Amodar gave Cass a sympathetic look, to which he paid no mind. "You will be starting your position tomorrow, but right now we need to do some more paperwork, alright? If you could wait for me outside the room I'd appreciate it, Director Leonald." The general grinned at the young man as he lazily got up.

"Yeah, sure. No problem." Lightning heard him mumble something inaudible as he left the room.

Rolling her eyes, the sergeant turned to Amodar. "Sir, why am I being tasked with guarding the kid?"

The general scratched his chin as he got up from his chair, having expected the question. "Well, you are one of my finest soldiers and if they do go after Cassidy, you're the only one with experience fighting them." He then glanced at her with a serious look in his eyes, one he hadn't used with her since he'd found out about her sister in the Bodhum incident. "I know this isn't easy for you, Farron."

_Great, he knows. Of course he knows. Nivien probably told him everything._

"You and the director were-are... very close, but as we've said, the search has been canceled. Looking for him isn't an option. I figured you'd wish to stay on duty until he has returned."

 _What else am I supposed to do?_ Really, Lightning hadn't given it much thought. The minute she'd lost Hope, her only objective was to find him and bring him home. Never in a million years would she have guessed that she would have to give up on him - which in her mind - that was exactly what they were doing. But how would she continue? She knew going back to work probably wasn't the best option with her current emotional state. The past two days had held enough proof of that. But what other options were there? Stay at home and destroy everything in her small apartment until there was nothing left to damage but herself? _I have no choice, really._ She looked up and noticed Amodar was waiting for her to speak. Sitting up, she nodded her head toward him. "Of course, sir."

The man gave her a proud smile before leaving the room.

"That all went incredibly well", commented Rygdea sarcastically. He stood up and stretched.

Sazh put a hand on Lightning's shoulder "You okay?"

Lightning rolled her eyes. _What the hell is wrong with me? I guess I should have expected this kind of reaction. After all of my outbursts, crying, whining and stupid antics, it's only natural to get pitiful gazes and sympathetic questions. Maker, I hate this. They're going to treat me like just another fragile girl that can't handle shit._ How could she expect anything different though? Truthfully she was a mess of emotions. There was so much rage and sorrow inside her that it threatened to split open the shell she'd managed to build back up. But she wouldn't let herself fall back into the chaos she'd pulled herself out of only hours ago.

Not wanting to have any more conversations about Hope, she sidestepped the question. "Who is Harleen anyway? Why does he get any say in Academy matters?"

The pilot gave her a crooked grin as he shook his head slightly. "He's a real piece of work is what he is."

Rygdea sat on the edge of the table and leaned toward her. "He's an adviser of the Academy. I've never liked the guy much, but he and Bartholomew were old friends from before the fall." Lightning's eyebrows rose. He hesitated with his next sentence, unsure of how the soldier would take hearing Hope's name. "Hope and Cass were best friends before it all too."

"So that's why he'd pick such a brat to take over his position." Lightning sat back and crossed her arms. She couldn't bear to think what her days with the young man were going to be like. _He's going to need protection from_ me _._

Chuckling, Rygdea continued. "Yeah, he's got quite an attitude, but he is seventeen." The two men laughed briefly and this even earned a small quirk of the mouth from Lightning. "No, he's been through some tough times. And the General wasn't kidding when he said Cass was qualified. Besides the work ethic, the kid's a lot like Hope. There's an incredible mind inside that ball of hormones."

"Good luck with him. He can be a bit much in large doses", started Sazh. "He should be pretty used to having a gunblade pulled on him by the time this is all over though, huh?" He nudged Lightning, who wasn't amused in the least.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. _Maker, Hope, I'm going to kill this kid. I just know it. Please come back soon. You're strong Hope. You can fight them. I just wish I could be by your side fighting with you_. All the reassurances in the world couldn't stop her from imagining the worst, but she would pray, every day, for his safe return.

* * *

Lightning stared at Hope's office door. She stood outside his office, her eyes burning a hole into the wood as she dreaded going inside. Not only would she have to deal with that obnoxious kid, but she would also have to face more memories of Hope. It was only the third day since his disappearance so her mind was still constantly bombarded by Hope, but she knew it would be much worse in the room before her. _Dammit, what are you doing? You should be finding Hope and freeing him. You shouldn't be babysitting. Where's the soldier that took on the world for her sister? Hope needs you!_

Lightning shook those thoughts away. She would give anything to be out searching for Hope, but she knew she couldn't. It wasn't because she knew she'd face serious consequences for disobedience. Although she most certainly would, she'd do anything to get Hope back, even risk her job. But it was his safety, and that of the missing search team, that kept her back. If those villainous l'Cie caught her looking for him, who knew what kind of pain she could cause them.

Finally sucking up her anxiety, she stepped inside. Cass was sitting at Hope's desk, reading a paper from the large stack at his side. He glanced up towards her and gave her a smug smile. It took serious control for Lightning to not march up to the young man and smack that grin off of his face.

"I figured you for the knocking type", he stated simply, eyes not leaving his work.

Growling, she sat on the couch across from him, still in its same place she and Hope had moved it. "Why aren't you in uniform?" The boy was clad in almost the exact same clothing as the day previously, causing Lightning to question his hygiene.

Cass lazily sat back as he let go of the paper and watched it float back down to the desk. "I'm the director, so I call the shots. I get to decide if I should be in uniform or not." He stopped and shuddered dramatically. "And I most certainly am not. That uniform may work for Hope, and all of his girly friends may have cooed at the sight of him, but no thanks. I'm not the uniform type."

Lightning's eye twitched involuntarily. "I knew you weren't going to take this seriously."

He chuckled. "What, just 'cause I'm not wearing some dorky outfit? Or 'cause I don't have a stick up my ass like some snobby soldier?" 

She glared at the little twerp who dared to say such things to her. The only people she would ever take teasing from were currently in stasis and captive. Usually her incinerating glare would have its receiver quivering and ready to flee, but not him. He just sat there, seemingly satisfied with himself for causing such a look. _He has a death wish._ "You're a real brat, you know that?"

The young man rolled his eyes as he rested his chin on his hand. "Oh, c'mon, Claire. I'm sure you want to use a more colorful name than that."

Lightning couldn't help the shocked and questioning expression that came over her. _How did he..._

"Simple." He shrugged as he eyed her, enjoying every tiny irritation he sparked in her. "I'm the director. I have access to everything. One of the first things I did was look into my personal guard's past. By the way, your sister is almost as hot as you are... almost", he added with a wink.

Pulling out her gunblade, she trudged toward the punk. Lifting it up and under his chin, she snarled at him. "Don't you ever talk about my sister, you little prick."

He didn't even flinch. He'd allowed her to walk right up to him and threaten him with death without as much as a twitch in self-defense. It's what he wanted. It really wasn't hard to get under her skin. They stayed there for a few moments before she lowered her weapon. "Man, so far everything Hope has ever said about you is true." Her stance shifted slightly. Cass reached into his baggy side pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

"Don't you dare. This is Hope's office, not yours. You can't just do whatever you want in here."

"Hope never minded." He took out a cigarette and lit it. After taking a drag, he continued. "The room's got ventilation. And like I said..." He stood and walked around the desk until he was three feet from the still furious soldier. "Hope doesn't care."

The soldier gritted her teeth before she snatched it out of his hand. "I do." She walked over to the desk and shoved it into his can of soda. "And I don't believe you."

Cass' lips curled into his constant Cheshire grin as he shook his head. "You know he used to smoke too?"

Now Lightning really didn't believe him. Hope most definitely didn't seem like the smoking type. Of course, she could never picture him hanging out with someone as ornery as Cass. Crossing her arms, she gave him a look, unconvinced.

He stared at her eyes, ready to gauge her reaction to his next comment. "It was how he and Nivien met, actually. She bummed a cigarette off of him and... it was like love at first sight." Cass' eyebrows rose when the subtlest hint of jealousy passed over her expression, telling him everything he wanted to know. She stood there, still giving him a look of disbelief and Cass decided to move on. "So, you're the great Lightning Farron. You certainly live up to your terrifying reputation. I'm just not easily scared off." She scowled at him and sat back down on the couch. "I've heard a lot about you. You left quite an impression on our friend, though I'm not surprised in the least. You are every man's wet dream-"

"Enough", Lightning barked. "You're a creep. I don't know what Hope sees in you." Scrunching up her nose at him, she sat herself farther back into the cushions of the couch, took out her gunblade and began polishing it. "I certainly don't know how you've stayed friends for so long."

"Oh, well, that's easy. Your little saint and I actually have... well, _had_ a lot in common."

Lightning snorted. "Right." She glanced at him before turning her attention back to her gunblade. "Don't you have paperwork to get through?"

"All done." Cass sat back in his chair and put his feet up.

"Yeah right. It took Hope and I hours to get through a stack that thick."

"Hope's brilliant and awesome and all, but he thinks too much. A little signature here, a small scribble there, and we're done and ready for a nap."

"Did you even look at them or did you just sign off on whatever you felt like?" She glared at Cass' careless expression. _He's telling me how much they're alike, yet all I'm seeing is a heaping pile of differences._

"Please, Claire", he spoke, putting a hand to his chest in a show of faux sincerity. "I'm a professional. I gave them all a good once-over before signing. I'm not an idiot." He closed his eyes and chuckled. He stopped as he heard a gunblade switch into gun mode.

"Call me that one more time, and you'll have the shortest term as a leader on record." How she wished she could pull the trigger - to give in to her desire and follow through with her threat. But she couldn't, and his cocky grin showed her that he knew it too.

"I've always loved breaking records."

Dropping the weapon back to her lap, she looked away from Cass. "You really like pissing people off, don't you? Look, I'll guard you... protect you, but only if you shut your trap. I can be reassigned and leave you with a different guard if that's too much trouble." She smirked at the thought.

Cass frowned, thinking hard about her proposal. "Fine", he said simply before looking back over his papers. "And you're right. I should probably look back over these with a more thorough eye." He winked at her as he began writing on a notepad beside him and continuing his work.

_Of course he was just trying to rile me up. Cocky brat._

* * *

He was choking on his own blood. His constant cries were now muffled by coughs and gags as his body attempted to dispel the blood like it was poison. The warm, iron-tasting liquid gushed into Hope's throat yet again. Rolling his head over to one side, he opened his mouth as he tried to let it all out, but it wouldn't stop. His blood seemed to flow from his mouth with no end. Just as it would begin to dissipate and he'd be allowed air, it would only take mere seconds before another round of the struggle to breathe would continue.

As he fought to clear his airway, the rest of his body writhed in pain. The continuous struggle to free himself had left his ankles and wrists raw – causing layers of his skin to peel off as his binds ripped into him. His chest had a copious amount of slashes, there were a few second and third degree burns on his arms and neck, and his teeth were still chattering from the four rounds of shocks he'd suffered through earlier.

He couldn't handle anymore. The torture seemed to last forever. It felt like a week had passed by since this last round had started. Realistically, he knew it had only been a day, maybe two, since the first time had begun. But time slowed agonizingly while he was being tormented by Sebastian.

Even though it appeared to be impossible to keep track of time, Hope knew they kept some sort of routine. He would suffer through countless stabs, burns, shocks, hits, until he'd eventually pass out from the pain. Then he would wake up in his cell with some food. A few calming and cherished hours would pass until they would retrieve him again to continue the cycle. Of course, now he fought back against the big man that would come for him, but the effort was fruitless. He still ended up strapped back to that table, ready for more excruciating pain. Only difference would be, he'd have some new bruises and usually a nasty head injury.

Zalera, he now assumed, was locked away in her cell. He hadn't seen her since he'd passed out after the first round. This made him somewhat relieved. At least she wasn't being tortured anymore. He'd taken her place and had stolen their tormentors' attention. Although he would give almost anything to be out of the l'Cie's grasp, he was glad to give her time to rest. Maker only knew how long she'd had to put up with the sadistic man. How she managed to remain sane through it all, he couldn't fathom.

Attempting to escape his anguish, he would retreat into his mind. Many times the pain would rip him out of any peace he would try to grasp, but when he'd succeed in finding even only a minute of happy thoughts, it was always about his family and his friends. His mind would go from something as simple as his recent days working with Lightning or Maqui to being back in his fourteen-year-old self with his mom and dad. Most of the time though, his thoughts were dominated by Lightning. He wanted most of all to be back with her - talking and working with her. He'd waited for so long for her to come out of stasis. It didn't seem fair that she'd come out just for him to get snatched away.

Currently, Hope's mind was enjoying his Gapra Whitewood memories while his body dealt with the pain. He was thinking about the speech Lightning had given him about controlling his emotions when a shocking stab jolted him out of his reverie. Sebastian smirked as he slid his knife into Hope's chest slowly. Gritting his teeth, Hope felt vomit rise as the knife struck his spine. Sebastian held the knife there for a few more moments until he let electricity shoot from him, to the blade, and into Hope. The shock shot through the young man so quickly that it made his heart skip a few beats. The burly man then twisted the knife inside Hope before finally taking it out. Hope struggled yet again to breathe. This time it was because the knife had nicked his lung. As he gasped for air, he felt his limbs go numb and the warm blood ooze out over his stomach. It wasn't long until black spots formed in his vision, followed by complete darkness as he slipped into unconsciousness.


	10. Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What happens if my brand never comes back?"

_"Oh, c'mon, Lightning. Just this once? Please... You used to do it all the time." Serah pleaded with her sister, but it seemed she wouldn't budge. They were all on the beach of Bodhum, enjoying the night sky and the warm glow of the campfire. Serah had a disc of her favorite songs playing on her portable stereo._

_Snow guffawed. "What? The almighty Lightning Farron used to dance? Man, now I gotta see." A large grin spread across his face before Lightning socked him in the gut._

_"No one's seeing anything." She crossed her arms and stood with her weight on her right leg, not budging an inch._

_Vanille giggled as she swayed with the rhythm of the beat almost effortlessly. "Aw, I'm sure you're a terrific dancer." Serah and Snow began dancing together beside her, both nodding at her comment. "Have some fun."_

_Fang came to Lightning's side and clapped her on the shoulder. "Yeah, Light, take a load off. No need to be so stuffy and boring all the time, Sunshine." Looking around the rigid soldier, she saw Hope sitting on a log, watching the others. When he caught Fang's eye, he visibly shrunk. "You better get your little ass dancin' too, Hope."_

_Vanille ran over to him and grabbed his arm, forcing him off his seat. "No, I don't dance." He tried to pull away, but Fang pulled him over too. "C'mon, guys, is this really necessary?"_

_"We just saved the world. Heroes have a right to party too", yelled Snow as he twirled Serah around his finger._

_Sazh came over, Dajh resting on his shoulders. "Just don't overdo it, hero. I a'int gettin' your butt outta bed tomorrow."_

_Serah stopped dancing with Snow and ran over to her sister, giving her a pleading expression so adorable that it was almost sickening. "Claire, please? For me."_

_Hope laughed and yelled over to her. "If I have to, there's no way you shouldn't have to too." Having succumbed to the torment, he began stepping to the beat, trying his best to keep up with the cheery, younger Pulsian._

_"Tch." She looked back at Serah, whose sad puppy eyes were still in place. "You're over doing it, Serah, but alright." She began walking over to the others, all playfully laughing and dancing like fools, and started moving her feet to the music when..._

* * *

She woke up. It all ended abruptly to the beeping of her alarm. After quickly shutting it off, she lethargically sat up, attempting to rub the sleep from her eyes as she contemplated her dream. It had been more than just a dream. It was a memory of one of her stasis illusions. That night had been one of the many beautiful nights that she'd had in crystal stasis.

For the past few nights and days, she'd been haunted by her stasis. She cherished it almost as much as she abhorred it. Yes, she had loved nearly every minute of her stasis while encased in her crystal prison. She had been surrounded by the warmth of her new family. Every day was a glorious mixture of irritation and love - just the way being in a family was. But now, those dreams only served as a reminder of how it should have been had Cocoon not fallen. How peaceful and wondrous life should be for the 'heroes' who had risked their lives to save the world.

It was enough that she had been tricked by the fantasy in the first place. Now to be reminded again and again of the life she could not attain was heartbreaking. She couldn't allow herself to even enjoy the thought of that past life she'd lived in her dreams. Not when she couldn't see most of her new family now, with Hope gone and Serah, Snow, Fang, Vanille and Dajh all trapped in their own delusions.

Lightning groaned as she ripped the covers off of her body. _And then there's that._ With Hope gone, all progress with the crystals had been halted. The hopes of waking her sister and the rest of the world, shattered. And who knew when Hope would be brought back to her. It had already been a week since his abduction and she couldn't stand it. She longed for his company almost as much as she wished to make her stasis dreams a reality.

When she wasn't lost in her stasis world, she was trapped in her imagination – thinking about Hope's captivity and all of the horrifying things he could be going through while she did nothing to stop it. Just the thought of him alone and in pain made her livid.

"Maker, what am I doing?" She stood up, ready to go on with her day, when she felt something brush down her leg. She looked down to see Hope's bandana hit the floor. _I can't put him out of my mind for a second, huh?_ Sighing, she shook her head before reaching down and picking it up.

The night before had been especially hard for the soldier. Her first dream, before the blissful stasis one, had been a nightmare. She had woken up calling out for Hope, unrestrained tears falling down her face. After calming herself back down and finding the many flaws with her nightmare, making sure that none of it could possibly be true, she'd gone back to sleep clutching onto the little cloth. Finding it to be the only thing to bring her mind peace.

Just the thought of that made Lightning roll her eyes and grudgingly throw the fabric back onto the bed. It was such an unbelievably girly and childish thing to do, but she couldn't deny that it had helped. After continuing her routine of readying herself for work, she stopped before walking out the door. Her eyes drifted to her room _. Dammit, I've gone soft. Too soft._ She didn't like it one bit, but with her jaw clenched tight, she walked back into her room, snatched up the bandana, stuffed it into her pouch, and left.

* * *

 _Why are you so cruel?_ It was one of the few questions Zalera had often asked the gods throughout her life. Why would the Maker and all of the gods let such horrible things happen? Why did good, innocent people have to die to get their attention? Zalera hated them. She hated the gods and she hoped that they knew it.

Many times in her life she'd questioned their existence. Of course, plenty of her fellow tribe had tried to show her proof and explain their reasoning in their beliefs of the almighty beings far beyond true comprehension. She'd half listen, not really caring whether they were right or wrong. She knew she believed in their existence, for how could you hate something that you didn't believe existed? She just didn't _want_ to believe in them. Believing in them showed some semblance of faith. And she'd be damned before she'd show any of them anything akin to faith. They had taken everything from her time and time again. The cycle seemed to be on repeat for her with loneliness and pain. Those two things, she found, were the only things she could count on to be constant in her life. She would have a brief stint of happiness until the eventual crackdown of horrible misery. And this, she'd resigned to. She knew, as she'd known for a while, that the gods didn't care for her. So why should she care for them?

Then she began noticing that it wasn't just her. Many were forced to suffer through the endless continuance of unbearable grief and agony. So maybe, Bhunivelze, Pulse, Lindzei and Etro all just didn't give a damn about any of them. Those respected and worshiped deities just sat atop their perches watching the little beings with utterly uncaring eyes.

It didn't matter anyhow. It didn't matter why they never helped or stopped any of the ruthless violence or what they did while it was all going on below them. All that mattered was that it happened. Asking why never did any good. _So why? Why do I still ask? I know it doesn't matter. None of them ever listen to a word I say. So why ask these questions when all I'll receive is blaring silence?_

_Because there's nothing else for me to do._

While she battled with herself in her mind and continuously asked the gods questions that she knew better than to expect answers from, Zalera laid in a ball on the bare mattress in her cell. Hope's cries still rang in her ears even though they'd ended minutes ago. She clutched her hair in her hands as she tugged on it, uncaring of the small pain she received from the action. She continued wondering about the many questions that floated around in her brain. One being the most dominant. _How much longer can I live like this?_ The answer would remain unknown as she laid there lost in her mind, for she had nothing else left. It was obvious that the monsters who'd taken her were hell-bent on keeping her and keeping her alive. _Unlike... Yeul..._

She was also very much on the young Guardian's mind. Her charge that she loved with her heart and soul was gone. She'd failed to protect her and because of this, Yeul was tortured to death, she would surely be tortured to death, and that poor kid would be tortured until he was turned into their puppet. Zalera cursed. She cursed the gods, she cursed the wretched villains holding her, and she cursed herself.

Faintly, she heard her door open as a man stepped inside. She did not move except to tense her muscles and close her eyes. When his rough, vile hand brushed against her thigh, she kicked him in the throat. He stumbled back a few paces as she scrambled up. His eyes flared from what she could see in the dim light. She ran for the door, only to have him grab her around the throat and lift her off the ground with one hand. His other hand grasped her shoulder roughly, fingernails digging into her collarbone. Her own nails dug into his hand on her throat as she kicked the air. Unable to do much else, she swung her foot back, hitting him in his most sensitive parts. With a throaty scoff, he shoved her into a wall, pinning her with his body. Her head met the stone with a resounding crack, making her vision blurry and her struggle lessen.

The man groaned as he rubbed between his legs. "Damn, girly. I swear, one day, I'm gonna to teach you a lesson about how to properly greet a man." He grabbed her breast roughly, painfully jerking her body closer.

"Pig", Zalera seethed.

The man stepped back and she fell to the floor, unable to fight much with her head fogged. He arrested her upper arm and practically dragged her back to the hell hole of a torture room. As they reached the stairs, her vision began to clear. She began struggling again as she gained her footing, only to receive a growl from the man and a nice scorch mark on her arm under his palm.

When they reached the room, she went to wrench her arm from his grasp, but froze as her eyes met with the young man's body strapped to the table. He was still breathing so he wasn't dead, but he looked awful. He was unconscious, his breath ragged.

"Move it", the man grunted.

Zalera ceased her resistance as she stared at Hope. She'd hardly noticed when she had been laid onto the table and the restraints had been tied back on. All she did was examine the kid with her eyes. Sebastian hadn't healed all of his wounds, only the major ones so he wouldn't die, but all other injuries remained. Hope's body had been ravaged by blades and magic for hours. She'd heard it. Every cry and scream he made at each painful contact had reached her cell. But it didn't make the visual evidence any less horrifying.

As her eyes drifted along his body, she could almost feel each wound as if they were her own. She had received all of those marks and gashes at one point during her torture, so it wasn't hard for her mind to imagine those injuries as vivid as if they ran along her own body. But even though she'd endured all of the same treatment over grueling, unbearable weeks and undoubtedly months, the worst of it all was, she knew that his torture had been worse. He'd gone through more pain in a few days than her or Yeul had in weeks of captivity. They'd started on him much sooner than they had Yeul as well. _And it's all my fault._ Tears began to well up in her eyes. She squeezed them shut, but she couldn't manage to stop crying. After about a minute she took a deep breath, swallowing her grief and regret. Looking around the room briefly, she realized that they had been left alone.

"Hope", Zalera whispered. "Hope, please wake up."

He stirred, roused awake slowly by the quivering pleas. His arms moved lethargically as his head rolled in her direction. He winced at the movement. Any time Hope moved, the gashes in his skin would stretch, causing more blood to escape and the cuts to widen.

"Don't."

Hope looked at Zalera, his expression pained and a large amount of fear present in his emerald eyes. He opened his mouth only to cough up blood. It gushed out of his mouth so fast, she didn't know what to do. She struggled with her binds as it seemed never-ending. "Hey", she yelled. "Sebast-" She stopped mid-call, suddenly feeling very conflicted. She didn't want him to die. He didn't deserve this death or death at all really. And could she bear to have another person's blood on her hands? But she couldn't stop the bitter happiness that seeped into her being. This would put him out of his misery and, at the same time, stop the wretched l'Cie's evil scheme.

Silently, she watched the young man choke on his own blood. Gurgling sounds came from his throat, making her cringe. His eyes bulged and his fists clenched as he began to lose his fight. _I'm so sorry. Just a little longer and you'll be free._ Just as she saw the light begin to dim in his eyes and the strain in his muscles die down, Sebastian ran into the room. Quickly, the giant threw a few powerful cure spells over Hope. The choking fit died down as the blood crept back into its natural corridors. The wounds along his body sewed shut and the burns faded, leaving pale pink in their wake. His eyes fluttered closed at the relief and he seemed to fall into an exhaustion induced sleep.

Sebastian wiped his brow before shooting a scowl in Zalera's direction. "Just like with the girl, eh? You were going to let him die just as you would have let Yeul?" He stomped toward the defenseless woman, ready to beat his fury into her.

"I'm not the stupid oaf who was careless enough to leave him in such a condition." A fire burned behind the man's eyes as he grabbed Zalera's wrist and snapped it. She screamed out in agony and he let her hand drop back down to the table limply. A piece of her bone shone through her skin making the man grin. Wanting to rid him of his satisfaction, she continued. "Don't... you d-dare blame me for the close call!"

"You little-" Sebastian went for her hand again, ready to snap it off of her body completely, but was halted by Castea.

"Stop." He spun around to face his master. "The girl is right, after all." Castea sent a cure spell over to the writhing woman, healing the new injury.

Sebastian bowed as she approached him. "Lady Hidon, I'm sorry." Castea grabbed his chin, her nails digging deeply into it. "I didn't-"

"That's two times now, Sebastian. The girl I let slide, but he is too important." She brought her hand back and slapped Sebastian across the face, the harsh sound echoing in the silence. "Hope is our key. I won't have you ruin everything we have built." Castea's eyes drifted over to Zalera who was still reeling from her wrist's previous pain. She gave her a threatening stare, but the green-haired women only scowled back at her.

"Maybe you should do your own dirty work then", spat Zalera.

Castea smiled mischievously as she walked toward the immobilized woman. "Aren't we a feisty one today? You know that's not a bad suggestion… though my kind of torture is usually more mental than physical." Zalera's eyes bulged and she shook her head vigorously as Castea's hand came towards her. When the wicked woman's fingertips brushed over the young Guardian's forehead, Zalera threw her head back and clenched her teeth. Her muscles tensed, but she didn't move. Her body laid still as her mind was flooded with images.

Dozens upon dozens of images played across Zalera's vision, her mind rampaging through her cruelest memories of Yeul and her torture. There was no real focus, it wasn't one memory at a time, but thousands of pieces of memories scattered and disorganized. If the pain of the memories wasn't enough to drive her insane, the sheer chaos would. Zalera couldn't fight back, she couldn't struggle or scream. She couldn't even manage a whimper. The mass of memories clouded out most of her brain's functions. All that came out of her will to fight were low guttural sounds lost in her throat. Then, suddenly it all stopped as Castea lifted her fingers away. It was a few moments before the room came back into focus, but her mind was still lost in the scattered images it remembered. Faintly, she saw Castea's evil grin hanging over her face before she blacked out entirely.

Castea shrugged as she examined the girl. "Well, it was a test. I guess it was a bit too much for her to handle." She turned back to Sebastian, eyeing him with a vivid light in her eyes. "I'll just have to practice more."

"Wha-what did you do to her", Sebastian inquired, eyes alight with awe. 

The blonde simply smirked while she walked back towards the steps. "I showed her the things she'd rather not remember. I'll have to admit it was a bit jumbled, but I think she got the message all the same." Castea waved toward her henchman to follow. "Come, Sebastian. It should be awhile before they awaken."

* * *

"I don't really give a shit about how Hope ran things. He's not here if you couldn't tell."

Lightning approached Hope's office quietly as she heard a heated argument going on between two people inside. She recognized the voices to belong to Cass and Alyssa.

"Ugh, you're infuriating. I can't stand you", Alyssa shrieked. "You have no business being in this position."

"Just stay away from my stuff. You're Hope's assistant. Can't you just take some time off until he gets back?"

"As much as I despise it, I'm the director's assistant regardless of who they are."

Lightning heard a flutter of papers as she reached the door. She quirked a brow before sighing. The arguments weren't a new occurrence. It seemed Alyssa and Cass couldn't get along at all. They butted heads about everything. Of course, with Cass being a self-serving, cocky pervert and Alyssa being an annoying busybody, she couldn't figure out who could get along with either of them. How Hope managed to stay sane being around these people, she truly couldn't fathom. Rolling her eyes, she opened the door and stepped in.

The two of the room's occupants looked over to the new arrival with relief in their eyes. Cass was standing at his desk with a file in his hands that Alyssa was eying hungrily, so Lightning assumed that that had been the origin of the fight. A few dozen papers lay scattered around the desk and floor, no doubt having been thrown in frustration.

Alyssa went to nab the file, but Cass moved it just out of reach as he went to speak. "Lightning, can you get this _madwoman_ out of here? I can't work with-"

"I am not a madwoman. Just give me the file", Alyssa pleaded. "I need to do my job. Surely you understand, Light?" She reached over Cass as he continued to hold the file further away.

Cass shot the soldier a look of desperation. "Get this bitch off of me. You're my bodyguard. Get her off me." As Alyssa inched closer to the file, just barely grazing it with her fingertips, she lost her balance, tumbling down and knocking Cass down with her. They landed roughly, Alyssa's jaw colliding with the new director's stomach.

Lightning bit back a laugh at the debacle. "First of all, don't call me Light. Second of all, she is your assistant and she has a job to do, same as you." She shut the door and crossed her arms, resolute.

Alyssa giggled as she caught sight of the file, forgotten and left right in front of her face. She snatched it up as she rose from the spot, sticking out her tongue at a grumbling Cass. He rubbed his stomach as there would undoubtedly be a bruise. Alyssa turned to Lightning. "But Director Estheim..." started Alyssa, glaring at Cass, "...calls you Light?" The blonde flashed Lightning an innocent smile.

The soldier gave her a warning look. Alyssa calling her Light would make them friends. Close friends to be precise. And they most certainly weren't. It was a stretch in Lightning's mind to call them acquaintances.

Cass chuckled as he slowly got to his feet. "I don't think that pet name is meant to be used by anyone but Hope. If you catch-" Cass moved just in time for the book, aimed at his face, to hit him in the shoulder instead. "Damn, what kind of bodyguard are you? I can see now how Hope managed to get tak-" This time he ducked, the next book flying over his head.

Lightning glared at the smart ass and clenched her fists. "Remember the agreement. Your lips stay zipped, Cass."

Alyssa shot Cass a triumphant smile as she waved the prize of their fight in the air. She went to leave but stopped shortly, ready to close the door behind her. "Please do keep it up, Director Leonald. Just a few more minutes of comments like those, and you'll be in the hospital in no time." She left with a satisfied smirk as she hummed down the hallway.

Cass fell into his chair, exasperated. "Maker, how does Hope put up with that shrill voice and constant perky attitude? Do you know what was in that file? I-" Lightning shot him a look, reminding him of his promise. "Alright, alright, fine. Who wants to talk to the hot, bitchy, soldier girl anyway?" He ducked as another hefty book flew in his direction.

* * *

Zalera hissed as she regained consciousness. Her head was pounding and she couldn't remember why. Since she was once again tied down to a table, she didn't really need to guess. She tugged a bit on her restraints but stopped, knowing full well that she wasn't going anywhere. She turned her head to her roommate, noticing a huff of breath come from his direction. He was awake, staring at the ceiling. She opened her mouth only to quickly snap it shut. As she watched the boy, a sense of guilt found its way into her body. For a minute, she was confused. That is until bits and pieces of what had occurred before her blackout came back to her. _I was going to let you die._ Shutting her eyes, she swallowed thickly. She most definitely didn't want to speak to the kid now. Just the thought of him looking at her, the pain and betrayal that she'd see in his eyes, was unbearable.

Hope stared at the ceiling, eyes glazed over, thoughts lost in his body's previous pain. His body had been completely healed. Every scratch was gone. But that didn't stop his mind from remembering every single pain he'd endured. No matter where he would try to force his mind to, no matter what memories he tried to shove himself in or how vividly he thought about them, he couldn't relieve himself of the phantom pains.

He jumped as he heard a sniffle on his left. Praying that it wasn't Sebastian, he looked over. "You're awake", Hope stated in a raspy voice.

Zalera's breath caught in her throat as their eyes locked. Her fear began to subside as confusion slowly replaced it. As her green irises searched his, she relaxed slightly. There was no sign of anger or betrayal, only pain and concern. She swallowed, unsure of how to speak to him.

At her lack of response, he continued. "When did they bring you in here?"

Understanding washed over Zalera. "You... I'm not sure. A while ago, I think. You were awake though. When... I was..."

"I don't remember." That was all he said before looking back up at the ceiling. Secretly, he was kind of glad about a lapse of memory. Maybe it would occur more often and he wouldn't have to remember so much of his horrible captivity. Of course, even he knew that he was being far too optimistic.

Zalera remained silent, very grateful for the loss of that memory. She hated herself for making that decision – to allow him to die – but she didn't regret it. As much as she would rather smash her own skull in than let him – an innocent, sweet kid – die, she knew she wouldn't hesitate to let death carry him away from this hell next time. It was the best choice for him and the rest of the world.

Hope was at a complete loss for what to do. He knew his torture was far from over, but how was he supposed to cope? What was he supposed to do while he waited for the inevitable conclusion to the whole ordeal? He felt so guilty, angry, sad, terrified, lost, and utterly defeated as he laid there unable to do a damn thing. There was nothing he could do with all of those emotions except internalize them. His mind only seemed to want to focus on the pain and Sebastian and Castea and all of the devastating plans they had for him.

When he could, he'd try to remember something good, something happy. It would always be of his family and friends. Their love and warmth would save him for a little while, until the guilt and regret would fill him accompanied by the thoughts of knowing that the whole situation was his fault. Even his thoughts of Lightning couldn't soothe his agony. In his mind, any memory or thought of her inevitably became tormenting. _I should have listened to her. Now I can't bring back her sister for her. I can't protect her like I promised. What if Sebastian really... And all because of me. I'll never be able to see her again. I'll never be able to tell her..._ Hope's fists tightened as he mindlessly fought his restraints and a few tears fell down his cheeks.

Zalera watched the young man unravel as he seemed to be wrapped in his own anguish. She bit her lip for she knew exactly how he felt. All too well.

The tears ran fiercely down his face, but he held in every sob that threatened to break from his throat. As minutes passed that felt like hours, his crying died down but didn't stop. The young director's expression had changed dramatically from pained and scared to blank and withdrawn. "Zalera? What happens if my brand never comes back?"

The emerald-haired woman gave Hope a sympathetic smile, attempting to mollify the anxiety no doubt rising within him. "I-"

"I mean, they said it had never been done before-maybe... m-maybe th-thats because it can't be done."

His pitch rose a bit, indicating the thought had been like an epiphany to the boy, his voice a mixture of excited and frightened. Excited that they wouldn't be able to use him for their dark purposes, yet frightened by the fact that if that were true, his torture could be never-ending. "I'm not sure, Hope. They will do everything in their power to reawaken your brand."

"And I'll do everything in my power to stop them. I won't allow them to kill everyone off and destroy the planet. I most certainly will not be their tool in doing it." His voice was shaky, but sure.

Zalera admired his conviction. It was the exact same way she'd felt about her duty to Yeul, only he was fighting to save the whole world, not a young girl. He was every bit the hero Yeul had made him out to be. "I'm sorry", she said breathily.

Hope shot her an incredulous look, unsure of the intentions behind the apology. "For what?"

"I failed. My failure is what led them to not only..." She bit down harshly on the side of her cheek, not wanting to say it. "... not only killing Yeul, but to your capture as well. If I hadn't been so weak she'd still be alive and you wouldn't have to face this."

Hope shook his head fervently. "No, they would have gotten to her anyway. Zalera-"

"No", she growled. "Don't you dare try to tell me that this isn't my fault. You weren't there and you have no idea what happened. It's my fault. It is." Her body shook with anger. _It is!_

He knew it wasn't her fault. There was no way that she could have taken on all of the l'Cie and saved Yeul in any scenario. They had wanted her and they were going to get her. However, Hope knew she wouldn't allow him to reassure her about that. With his own situation though, he could. "Fine. But they would have come for me even if they couldn't have gotten to Yeul. My abduction would have occurred regardless." A hint of Zalera's rage toward herself seemed to fade. "And no one but me is responsible for getting caught. I-I didn't listen and should have been more careful. We may have had a shot at defeating them and avoiding... this if I hadn't been so reckless. Lightning told me-"

"Lightning is your Guardian?" Zalera's eyebrow rose, remembering his and Sebastian's discussion before.

Hope bit his lip. That title used on Lightning was still new for him, but it did seem extremely fitting. She protected him countless times and saved him on numerous occasions. "Yeah, I guess."

The woman seemed to relax a bit, her mind slipping away from its worries and regrets to a slightly better conversation. "Yeul used to have visions of the two of you." Hope appeared stunned by this, his lips parting as his eyes widened. "Both your future and your past. She spoke of a very brave young man who overcame his grief and fear to embrace his destiny of fighting his fate. How he would become a savior to mankind and continue saving it until he would no longer be. Alongside you she said there was a woman. A strong, independent, yet partially broken young woman, who fought to protect you at any cost." At this, Zalera turned her head to face her companion. "Your destinies are locked tightly together, Hope. Some of Yeul's visions brought her great sorrow. She was a very compassionate person, you know? She cared deeply for every creature on this planet." She cleared her throat as the raw emotion attempted to surface again. "And even though you were a complete stranger, she was deeply saddened by what you had to go through, but..." A silent tear dropped down her cheek. "...she was glad that you had a protector to watch out for you like she had me." Zalera gasped as she tried to fight off her despair.

"Did she..." He hesitated. "...see the outcome of all of this." His eyes danced around the room indicating what he meant by 'this'. He wanted to know. He had to know.

Attempting to regain her emotional stability, she replied. "She saw many possibilities. Two, though, were most prominent. In one... you destroy everything and everyone using the power of the crystal, and obliterate everything to nothing... summoning the Maker back to this world." Hope's eyes widened in horror as his jaw slackened. "In the other..." Zalera looked to him with sorrowful eyes. "You are able to overpower the crystal and save everyone, but... it... kills you in the process."

Hope's eyes snapped up to the ceiling as he fought to deal with her words. _There's no good ending for me._

"But, Hope." His attention snapped back to her. "Like I said, those were only two possibilities. Yeul always said there were possible outcomes even she couldn't predict." A soothing smile graced her face as she looked at him.

"Thank you", he replied, nodding slightly. His mind was still reeling with the thoughts of those very grim, very possible fates. Was he really born just to kill everyone in an attempt to bring back a god that had abandoned its creations long ago? _No, I won't allow it._ "I'm very sorry, Zalera... for your loss. Yeul seemed like a wonderful person and I wish I could have met her."

Her face contorted into a deeply pained expression. "If we just hadn't been taken to this damned Ark, I-" She clenched her fists.

"We're in an Ark?"

Breathing deeply she answered. "Yes. We're in the Eighth Ark."

Hope gave her a quizzical look. "The Eighth Ark? We've never-"

"That's because it's hidden. All of it is underground except for the entrance which is nicely tucked away in a mountainside. You can't find it unless you're looking for it." She watched his face fall even more.

That meant that those looking for him most likely didn't have a chance in hell of finding him. He was going to have to fight this battle himself.

* * *

Barsilisk slammed his fist down on the desk before him, getting more and more impatient as the time wore on. "Damn it, Castea. It's been over two months now. This is going nowhere. I thought you said Sebastian could get this done."

Castea rolled her eyes and grinned at the frustrated man. "What did you expect? This is an extremely difficult task and the boy is fighting tooth and nail against it."

Barsilisk grabbed her upper arm before she could simply dismiss him again. "This isn't a game, Castea." She dug her nails into his hand, easily relieving herself of his hold. "I'm tired of all of this." This was supposed to end it all. All of the long years of servitude would finally be over. He could finally...

"Watch how you speak to me, Barsilisk." Castea gave the man a disgusted glance, a warning look in her eye. "I know. I'm not pleased with the time this is taking either, but we must remain patient."

"I am not a patient man."

"Oh, believe me, I know." Another pained cry echoed throughout the Ark, causing a smile to creep back onto her face. "His cries are so heavenly." She turned to Barsilisk who only scrunched up his nose at her sentence. She laughed, thoroughly pleased with his disgust. "Alright, my love, I'll try my hand at him. Will that please you?" Her fingers grazed his chin as she brought herself closer to him.

Calmly taking a breath, he gave her a forced smile. "We should receive some results at that." Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pecked her lips and forehead before leaving the room. 

Castea followed behind, but peeled off in a separate direction when she reached the hall. Hope's yells and screams stopped during her trek towards him and she halted, listening to Hope and Sebastian speak as she stood at the top of the stairs.

"Everything's alright. Everything's going to be fine. You'll be out of here in no time", Hope muttered to himself. He knew they were all just empty words and reassurances, but what else did he have?

Sebastian snickered. "You sure about that, kid?"

"Isn't it enough that you have to break my body? Do you really have to break my spirit too?"

"It's nothing personal. Just my job... that I may get a bit of enjoyment out of. You all are just so fascinating to watch." The burly man gave him one last glance before he punched Hope in the head, causing the silveret to black out. Sebastian sent a few last cure spells into him as he walked to the stairs and left. As he reached the top, he came across Castea. "Lady Hidon." He bowed deeply before her. "The boy is resting now. The girl is in her cell."

"Good." She put a hand on his shoulder, gentle, yet firm. "I will be spending some time with him. Leave us alone until I come for you. Are we clear?"

"Of course."

She descended down the stairs into the room where Hope laid unconscious on the table. She hadn't spoken with him in those whole two months that had passed. She hadn't even seen him. She walked up to him, snickering at his disheveled state, and brushed her hand against his cheek. She then brought it back and slapped him across the face.

Hope jolted awake at the feeling. He let out a light whimper at the sting of his cheek and his eyes widened at the sight of Castea. His body shook, terrified of the woman who he thankfully hadn't seen in a very long time. Yet he felt a bit relieved for she would only wish to speak with him. As opposed to Sebastian.

Castea sneered at the young man's expression. There was a small amount of fear in it, but his gaze was dull, almost empty. She recognized that look. It was the same look the little seeress had given them just before she finally gave. "Giving up already?"

His eyes fluttered closed as he sighed. "I won't... ever... give up", declared Hope breathily.

The wicked woman practically beamed. "Good, because I was about to think that this was going to be no fun." Hope's expression turned puzzled. "You know I've been holding off speaking to you for a while." She jumped up onto a stone table to his right, crossed her legs and leaned back on her hands. "It was so hard, too. I've missed your charm, Hope. And your cute little expressions."

Hope tensed as his jaw tightened. He knew she was only there to toy with him further. She really loved to hear herself speak.

"You know we're still watching all of your little Academia friends? They were scrambling to find you at first. Then when they couldn't, they just... stopped." She gave him a sardonic look. "I was so heartbroken for you that they would just stop looking for their leader..." She jumped back off the table and walked slowly over to Hope. "...their friend... their _charge_."

His eyes widened. "Lightning?" Castea smirked as she wove her hands through his hair. Hope was disgusted by her touch, but was too focused on their new topic of conversation to pull away.

"Surely you hadn't actually believed Sebastian? Your lovely and fierce Lightning is far too much for him. She is alive and currently guarding your replacement." She stared at his face, watching every little twitch and movement. The woman thoroughly enjoyed how expressive and readable he was.

 _They've already... Well it has probably been... months. But... Lightning protecting Cass? Why... I thought... I thought for sure she'd still be looking for me._ Hope knew that Castea could be lying. In fact, there was a good chance that she was. But even if it was the truth, he had to believe that there was a good reason for her stopping. _Maybe they think I'm dead? Or Castea's done something to force them to stop? Or they could just be unable to... It has been a long time... Would I really want them to waste all of their time, energy and resources just looking for me?_ _No._ Even as he thought that, he couldn't help but feel abandonment hit his heart.

Castea's eyebrows rose, her features softening as she continued to give him a mockingly sympathetic expression. "That young Cass is quite a... charmer, isn't he? I know Lightning sure had a hard time getting used to him but, they are actually getting quite close. I have to say you may have some competition. The little wench is-"

"Save your breath." Castea looked into his steeled expression, a little surprised by his resolve. "If you're trying to make me hate my friends or lose faith in them... don't. It's a waste of time." He attempted to pull away from her hands which had been massaging his scalp, but she only tugged on his hair and kept his head in place.

She laughed at his response. "I'm only telling you the truth. Everyone's given up on you and your slutty-"

Hope jerked beneath her. "Light isn't a slut and no one's given up on me. If they've stopped looking... then good. At least they're-they're probably doing much more important things for Academia, but just because they stopped, doesn't mean that they've given up on me", he yelled, fury in his eyes.

"Fine, I was just trying to help you deal with the reality of things." She pulled harder on Hope's hair between her fingers. "But don't get the idea that you can snap at me."

"Or what? You're going to send Sebastian in here? Go ahead." The young man tried to pull away again. He was successful, but left a large clump of his hair firmly in Castea's grasp.

She simply smirked as she walked over to the chair sitting against the wall in front of him. "So you think I'm just a bitch with all bark and no bite, huh?" Beginning to unlace her boots, she looked at him, her face filled with sadistic happiness. "You would be wrong, love." She stood and pulled her cloak off, leaving herself completely exposed before him.

Hope looked away.

"Wouldn't want to get blood all over my robe now, would we? You can look, my pet. This isn't going to be pleasant so you should take all the pleasure you can, while you can." She walked over to him and ran her hand slowly up Hope's chest until it rested on his cheek.

He jerked away from her. "What makes you think your body could pleasure me", spoke Hope through clenched teeth.

Her eyes filled with a stunned rage and her jaw fell before she snapped it shut. In response, she dug her nails deep into his collarbone and dragged them down his chest, ripping them through his skin.

Hope's eyes scrunched up and his muscles tensed. A small cry escaped his throat. Castea's nails were a lot longer and sharper than he'd cared to think about. As she pulled out each nail one at a time, he bit his lip, eventually cutting into it with his teeth.

Castea's smile grew wider. "You think these past couple months have been tough?" She walked over to the chair, flicking Hope's blood off of her fingertips as she went, and picked up a pair of pliers before flashing them at him. "You haven't even begun to feel pain."

Struggling against his restraints, he felt the cuffs dig themselves deeper into his skin, as if they were tightening on their own. He looked to Castea who was tightening his binds with her powers.

"Let's start with that sharp tongue of yours, shall we?"

* * *

Lightning sat on Cass' couch, pinching the bridge of her nose and tapping her foot. It was twelve at night and as the punk's personal guard, she was always within earshot. She even had to sleep in his apartment while three other guards had night shift and guarded outside. The soldier, of course, couldn't sleep. _Two months. It's been over two months. It's been sixty-eight days. I can't keep going like this. He's probably..._ Her thoughts had been silently choking her all day since she'd come to the realization.

She heard Cass' bedroom door creak open and feet shuffle out. Groaning inwardly, she turned toward him. Really, Cass hadn't been that bad lately. He'd held up to their agreement pretty well and had only received a bruise on his stomach and jaw as well as a broken nose from Lightning. Even with that, it had been a good couple of weeks since she had felt the need to hurt him.

Cass walked in front of her, amused. "Do you ever sleep?"

She shot him a glare. _Conversation is unwelcome remember? I'd be glad to give you a reminder._

He rolled his eyes and sat beside her. "Look, I've wanted to talk about a few things with you for a while now and... I know I can be a real ass hole sometimes, but-"

"Sometimes", asked Lightning with a smirk.

"Alright a lot, but..." He sighed as he rubbed his messy hair. "...it seems that I might be... we might be in these positions for a while now and I think we should try and be civil."

This seemed to be a whole different side of Cass which made Lightning slightly uneasy. Though he did have a point, she wasn't sure about the prospect of becoming... friends with the kid. He was obnoxious and rude. She was about to refuse when she remembered her earlier thoughts.

How much longer were they going to continue working like this? In her mind, Hope was never going to be gone that long. Everyday she'd pray for him to be back the next. Two months had dragged by agonizingly. It took every bit of her willpower and strength to hold herself back from looking for him. Her pain and grief about Hope began ramming into her cement wall she'd built around her emotions. "Okay." It might make things a little easier and... she may even find a way to make the kid useful.

"Okay?" He gave her an incredulous look. Honestly he hadn't expected that answer. He'd expected a not so subtle threat from her gunblade or a good punch to the jaw. This was very surprising. "Okay", he said nodding.

Lightning crossed her arms. "I want to know some things though." Cass nodded as he slouched into the couch, signaling for her to start. "Could you... tell me some things... about…" Her face was stoic, but her gaze averted from his.

"Hope?" He glanced over with a smug smile... which he quickly wiped off his face when she tensed. _Civility is going to suck._ He sighed inwardly. "Anything specific?"

She shook her head.

"Well... we met when I was six. He was nine and we lived in the same neighborhood. Our dads were close, but that didn't really matter because I lived with my mom." He snorted. "My mom was the mistake my father made while still married to my half sister's mom, leading to my disgraceful existence. He stayed with his wife and his daughter. They knew about us they just... chose to ignore us. Anyway, Hope and I were neighborhood friends even though we were so far apart in age. We were also close in school. Remember when I told you we had a lot in common? We were both exceptionally smart, awkwardly shy, and had girlish looks. We weren't winning any popularity contests. In fact, we were bullied quite a lot."

Lightning felt her heart tighten at Cass' recollection, but kept her expression schooled.

"Hope would ward off some of my tormentors when he could. Being older, he could take on most of my bullies... I couldn't help with any of his, though."

"Why didn't your parents do anything?"

Cass scoffed. "My mom worked all the time, trying to support us. She was too busy and I didn't want to bother her with it. Hope's mom was sympathetic, but was drowned out by Bartholomew. He always told Hope to be tough. If he stayed strong and defended himself, they would leave him alone. Which, of course, was a bunch of bull shit. I think he just never wanted to give Hope the time."

She bit down on the side of her cheek. She understood Hope's previous problems with his father a lot more now. A thought popped into her head as she glanced at Cass. "Your father abuses you, doesn't he?"

"It was that obvious, huh?" He shrugged at her concerned expression. "It's not too often, but then again, I don't see the guy much. I try to avoid him as much as I can, of course."

"Did Hope's father..." Her nails dug into the sides of her arms. Bartholomew was stern, but she never got an abusive vibe from him.

"If he did, Hope never told me. Although, I don't think the man was ever home enough to. He was always working. And Nora may have been pretty submissive, but I don't think she would have ever allowed that."

Lightning relaxed a little, grateful about that, at least. Cass' silence indicated he was waiting on a question to continue. "What was Hope like before the whole... l'Cie thing?"

He chuckled. "Pretty much the same happy, gentle guy you know now, only much shyer and much more of a loner. He was always a mama's boy... Hell, I was too. He had a few good friends besides me through the years, but he wasn't Mr. Charismatic like he is now. Not even close." Shaking his head slightly, he stood. "He never had the need to save and change the world though. I mean, yeah, he loved helping people, but he was always the 'fly under the radar' type. It wasn't until after the fall and he woke up, when I noticed that he had grown into that. I suppose having already saved the world once, he'd wanted to continue saving it."

"And after he woke up? While we were all in stasis?"

"He was a bit depressed. You know, about you all for a while. But he focused on helping people adjust and helping build houses and get things running. He delved deep into his studies when he joined the Academy. I swear he was a total book warm."

Lightning smiled as she imagined a younger Hope lost in a pile of books. It was a melancholy smile, filled with guilt for having not been there and missing out on his life.

"He still plays the violin, though, which-"

"Hope plays the violin?"

"Yeah, he's really good actually. His mom taught him when he was... well from... if I remember right... seven until, well, the purge..."

She nodded, unsure of how she felt at not knowing that fact. She knew there were many things she still didn't know about him and many of her l'Cie gang. She just found it strange that she was so close to him and still didn't know much about him. Even the simple fact that he could play an instrument. She yawned and knew that they should get to bed if they planned on being up for work. Of course, she was always working. "Thank you, Cass. Now get to bed. You have a job you need rest for."

Cass groaned as he stomped off like a child to his room. He paused when he got there. "Thank you, Lightning. For giving... this a chance. I know you don't like me much, but-"

"I don't like anyone much."

He chuckled. "I just wanna do right by Hope and... I know that he... cares deeply for you. I feel I owe it to him to make an effort with you."

Lightning furrowed her brow. He was completely right and she couldn't believe she hadn't thought of it sooner. Hope deserved to have his friends get along in his absence, even if they couldn't stand each other. Cass retreated back into his room and Lightning lay down on the couch, recounting everything he had told her. She took Hope's bandana out of her pouch and traced the pattern with her index finger. _When Hope gets back, and he will get back, we're going to have a long talk about everything. Even if it kills me. I owe him that._

* * *

 _Make it stop. Make it stop. Please, make it stop._ Zalera sat curled up in the corner of her cell, her face buried in her hands. Hope had been yelling and screaming full force for hours. Something seemed off, different. His cries seemed far more pained, far louder and far more distressing. Whatever Sebastian was doing to him, it had to be excruciatingly painful. _I can't do anything to stop this. I can't do-_ Zalera realized that there was one thing she could try. Grudgingly, she brought her hands up in front of her face, folded in her middle and ring fingers, crossed her index fingers, crossed her pinkies, bowed her head, closed her eyes, and prayed.

 _I know I have no reason to ask anything of you. I've always hated and despised all of you. To tell you the truth, I probably always will. But this isn't about me. This is about Hope. He doesn't deserve this. Any of this. Please, you let Yeul suffer._ _You wretched beings let her be tortured over and over again. She was used for their purposes and you never helped. You wouldn't even allow her the peace of death. Death only came for her because they were done with her and they wanted her to die. The least you can do is help this kid out. Just let him rest. You can redeem yourselves. Show me that there is a reason to believe in you and to pray to you. Please, just let him die._

Zalera dropped her hands and opened her eyes, which were now full of tears. She waited. She waited and waited but his suffering never ended. She let out a shaky breath, cursing herself for thinking that there was a chance it could work.

Her door creaked open, but she was too withdrawn to care, or to try and escape. She looked up to see which goon was there to drag her back to that room. Her eyes widened at the sight of Sebastian in front of her.

He grinned at her. "Just checking on our Guardian. You haven't been eating."

"If you're here, then who-"

"Lady Hidon is having some special time with the boy." He lent down and dropped a tray of food in front of her. "You will eat this by the time I come to retrieve you. Got it?"

Zalera was shocked. She never knew Castea tortured people. The only harm she'd ever inflicted upon her and Yeul were slaps and that mind thing she'd pulled on her once before. Sebastian grabbed her chin when she didn't respond. "I'm not hungry."

"I don't care. You will eat this or I will force it down your throat." 

* * *

He couldn't fight the thoughts off any longer. He couldn't fight off the desire, the need, to die. The pain was too much for his body and his mind to handle. He wanted to die. He had to die. He knew he was being a worthless coward wanting the easy way out. But he just couldn't deny it anymore. He was utterly useless and unforgivably weak. As his eyes rolled back in his head, his body lost in agony and anguish, Hope begged for death. He prayed to Bhunivelze, to Pulse, to Lindzei, to Etro, to everything and anything, to just let him die. To give him the pleasure of death. No matter how painful his death was to be, he would welcome it. For he couldn't bear to face the alternative. To continue living in this constant state of suffering. This was no life.

Hope cried out and squirmed as his nail was ripped from his newly reformed middle finger, then his recently regrown ring finger, then his thumb. Castea stopped as she went for his pinky, the latest one that she had recreated, she then leaned over his face. "Look at me, Hope. Hope." He wasn't listening; he was far off in his head. She wrapped her right hand around his throat and dug her nails into his flesh. "Hope." He winced as he looked into her gray stare. As their eyes searched each other's, Castea took a dagger in her left hand and began slowly pushing it into his side. "You know what I'm going to have to do soon, Hope?" His eyes tore from hers as he looked to the ceiling before squeezing them shut at the pain in his side. Her grip tightened around his neck, but her dagger's decent did not stop, only slowed, prolonging his agony. "If this doesn't start working sometime soon, I'm going to have to get your little friend in here." Hope's eyes shot open and looked into Castea's. "Let me be specific. We all know how fond of your little Guardian Sebastian is. I think he'd have a lovely time with her."

He stopped breathing, any pain in his body becoming an afterthought.

"Think about it, Hope. Him stabbing her... burning her... shocking her... bringing her close to death... time... after time... after time." Her sick smile appeared as her eyes flared with sadistic satisfaction.

"No", he whispered, his throbbing tongue forming the word slowly.

"Think about it."

"No", he said.

"Yes."

"No", he growled, gaining strength.

"Yes."

"No", he yelled.

"Yes." As she spoke, she shoved the last of the dagger into his side until it was fully sheathed inside him.

His eyes squeezed shut. "No", he cried. Suddenly, a large burst of energy shot from Hope, sending Castea flying to the other side of the room. His left wrist began to burn. It was a searing pain and he recognized it _. No. No. No._ "No. No. No. You can't. Stop." He cried out as the pain became too intense.

Castea stood, watching him writhe. Her grin grew at the glow of his wrist. "Yes." _It's finally time. We've finally done it._

Hope watched in horror as his brand began to appear on his arm. _Please don't do this._ "Please."


	11. Empowered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I can't live like this anymore."

_It was a warm day in Palumpolum. A thirteen year old Hope stood outside of Crescent Elementary school awaiting his best friend. As he sat on a bench outside, he pulled out a book from his bag and read. It was a good forty minute wait between the time the junior high and the elementary school got out, but Hope was used to it. It had been that way for the whole year. Since he had graduated from Crescent and began his_ wonderful _life in junior high, he would get out of school, walk to Crescent and wait for Cass. They would walk home together from there. Even though his parents had disapproved, saying he should spend more time with kids at his school, ones his own age, Cass was his best friend. He couldn't just move on and leave him behind. And it's not like he'd really made any new friends. He may have graduated into a new school, but the same class of kids he'd grown up with hadn't changed. None of them liked him anymore now than they had a year ago._

_Hearing movement from the front of the school, Hope looked up. A chipper looking Cass stumbled out of the front doors of the building. He stood in front of his silver haired friend and grinned. "So, have you asked her out yet?"_

_A light rouge tinted Hope's cheeks as he stood. Putting his book in his backpack, he shoved his younger friend and began walking in the direction of their neighborhood. "Why are you out early?"_

_Cass rolled his eyes at Hope's avoidance of the question. "I have my ways. You of all people know that."_

_Hope smirked._ You crafty devil you. What did you do this time?

_"Anyway. C'mon, did you?" He gave his stubborn friend a pleading look._

_Hope just sighed in return. "Cass, I invented that look. And you know full well that I didn't."  
_

_"Why not? I told you she likes you. I'm her little brother. Getting into her things and finding out every detail about her is my job. I know she likes you", whined Cass. He stopped, forcing Hope to stop and turn toward his irritating friend. "So if it's because you think my intel is-"_

_"I believe you." Hope turned away and continued in his previous direction._

_Cass scampered after him while hefting his backpack higher on his shoulders. "Well, then why not? I know you like her." He raised an eyebrow, giving his friend a cocky knowing look as he jabbed his elbow into Hope's side._

_"That's not that hard to figure out. Everyone likes Kori." His shoulders slumped a bit at his words. Cass opened his mouth only to have Hope clasp a hand over it. "Just forget it, Cass. Even if she's interested, she could never go out with someone like me. It would just ruin her reputation. Besides, why do you want us together so badly?"_

_"I-I know that... she likes you and... you like her so... plus you're not like the absolute imbeciles she dates. And you're my best friend... I know you... and I can trust you with Kori. I just-"_

_Hope began kicking a rock. "Well, it's not gonna happen, all right? Can we just drop it?" He gave Cass a look of exasperation, begging for him to stop pestering him about his sister. It's not like Hope hadn't thought about asking Kori out. He just knew that she'd reject him. Her pride and reputation coming before her feelings every time. Besides, Hope had never asked a girl out in his life. He was terrified of the thought. He most definitely wouldn't start with one of the most popular girls in school._

_"Fine", Cass sighed. He then grumbled something inaudible as he pouted. They began walking down an alley on their usual route home. Cass started to say something when they were halfway through the long narrow passage, but he was cut off by a loud whistle._

_"Hey, Estheim! You and your little girlfriend out for a stroll?"_

_A little ways in front of them were four boys that Hope recognized immediately. Cass only knew one of the four. Three of the boys were in Hope's class and had taken a liking to tormenting him in their spare time for the past two years. Dex, the pudgy ring leader of the group, just had it out for him. The other two were his lackeys that obeyed his every command. The fourth one, Dex's younger brother, Karter, had begun torturing Cass, with some prodding and training from his elder sibling, no doubt._

_From the look in Dex's eyes, Hope knew what was coming. "Cass, run."_

_"What?" As the bullies slowly approached them, Cass gave Hope a worried glance before running down the side alley that they had thankfully been stopped at. He didn't want to leave Hope behind, but he had been told to go, and he wouldn't be of any help. Knowing he wouldn't be able to get too far if they chose to come after him, he slid under a dumpster, his small, skinny body being much help. He made it under just in time to see the four surround Hope._

_"Go after the little punk", ordered Dex._

_Hope took a step toward the gang's leader, trying to muster as much courage as he could to glare at him. "No, it's me you want, Dex." Hope was terrified and his left leg was unwillingly shaking, ignoring his orders to stop, but he had to do this. He had to protect his best friend. "You really wanna pick on a kid half your size and three years younger than you?" His voice trembled a bit as Dex drew closer. Hope's head came to Dex's chin, making him even more intimidated. "I mean, really... p-picking on a fourth grader? W-what kind of message does that send? That you can only beat up-" Hope was cut off by a punch to the cheek by Dex. The blow almost threw Hope to the ground, but he miraculously found his footing._

_"So you wanna take the twerp's punishment too, huh? Is that what you're saying?" The plump kid poked Hope in the chest harshly._

_Hope bit his lip as he fought against his instincts to book it and run. "Why can't you just leave us alo-" Another punch, but this time Hope fell and landed into the arms of Dex's flunkies who pushed him back up._

_"I asked you a question."_

_"Yeah, he asked you a question", repeated Karter as he crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Hope._

_All he could do was resign himself to a pummeling. If he didn't, they'd surely go after Cass. "Yes", mumbled Hope._

_Dex's eyebrow rose as an evil smirk played across his lips. "I can't hear you?" But he had. He even took off his grimy token blue baseball cap and flipped it around, as he always did before kicking the snot out of an innocent kid._

_Hope hung his head. "Yes." Just after the words fell from his lips, Dex kneed him in the stomach. As Hope hunched over, his face was met with the same knee and he fell backwards to the ground. His nose began bleeding and his head now screamed in agony. The pain in his gut was dulled by the new injury. He opened his previously scrunched up eyes and saw the sadistic grins and stares of the boys towering over him. He knew it was far from over._

_Cass watched from under the dumpster, feeling as slimy and disgusting as the container over his body. Hope fell to the ground and was soon being kicked and punched by all of them, even Cass' arch nemesis. He was being hit so many times, Cass couldn't even keep track. Every grunt and groan made him wince. After a good kick to the head, Hope's face turned to Cass' direction and their eyes locked. His scared, sorrowful purple eyes met with Hope's pained, yet happy and proud green._

_Hope was proud of himself and happy to take the hit for his friend. His head felt like a piñata fighting to stay closed, his bones now felt like shattered glass, and he was sure that his spleen or something else important had ruptured inside of him, but he was happy._

_After the minutes ticked by, the incessant taunting and laughter lessening, the punks grew tired as they began panting. "Shows you, Estheim. I knew you were a wimp." Dex spat on Hope's face before wiping his brow. He gestured to his group and began to leave. "You may have saved that spineless nobody today, but you say anything and we'll pummel him tomorrow." They all laughed and ran towards the end of the alley, fleeing on their waiting bicycles._

_Cass waited until he could no longer hear their cackling. He scrambled out from his hiding spot and ran to Hope. His silver-haired friend was sprawled out on the dusty concrete, his eyes closed, one swollen shut, and his breathing labored. Cass put a shaking hand gently on his savior's arm, wondering if he was conscious. Hope groaned as he stirred. "Hope! Hope are you all right?" Tears began to form in his eyes as he stared at his friend's shattered form._

_"Yeah, I'm f-fine", was his mumbled reply. Sitting up slowly, Hope glanced around, seeming very alert despite his lethargic movements._

_Cass covered his hand with his sleeve and wiped the spit off of Hope's face. "They're gone."_

_Hope visibly relaxed. "Help me... up." His voice was strained, but strangely upbeat._

_Cass complied and they steadily got the thirteen year old to his feet. The elder friend winced as pain struck his side. "Thank you, Hope. I mean... really, thank you."_

_Hope leaned against the wall and looked at his best friend. He was smiling wide with wet eyes, and Hope knew in his heart that he'd done the right thing. "It's..." he coughed and spat out some blood. "...okay, Cass. I'm fine."_

_"Why didn't you fight back? Or... why didn't you at least try to?"_

_"Why would I?" Hope came off of the wall and tried to find balance on his feet. He hurt everywhere and he didn't know how he was going to make it home. Or how he was going to face his mother and answer her questions regarding his condition._ Better yet, how am I going to face my father?

_"Because it's-"_

_"Violence doesn't solve violence. I don't want to hurt anyone, I just want to be left alone." He tried to turn back to the direction of their neighborhood, but ended up getting extremely dizzy and almost collapsed. Cass caught him, as well as he could, and helped him up. "Let's get you home, Cass."_

_They began walking home, Hope's breathing slow and labored. Cass tried to support some of Hope's weight off of his dragging leg, attempting to do all he could for the bestest friend he knew he'd ever have._ You're like my brother, you know that? The big brother I always wanted. _"Thank you, Hope."_

* * *

Snapping fingers came into Cass' vision, followed by their owner, the ever impatient Lightning. He blinked rapidly as he came back from his reverie. "What..." Last he knew, he had been sitting at the table eating his cereal while Lightning took a shower. Obviously, he'd gotten lost in his mind as his bowl was empty and the soldier was now waiting on him.

"You were staring into space", replied Lightning. She crossed her arms and raised a brow.

Cass just laughed as he put his dishes in the sink. "I was just remembering how heroic and utterly stupid our mutual friend can be." He turned to see Lightning's surprisingly unguarded expression of shock and pain at his mention of Hope before she put her usual mask swiftly back on, sealing her feelings.

She simply turned and walked into the next room muttering, "Hope isn't stupid", before sitting on the couch.

Collapsing onto the couch, he sighed. "Taking on four... three and a half people to save my ass isn't stupid?"

That image would not work out in her brain. She just couldn't imagine Hope fighting. During and after their time as l'Cie, yes. But not before. Not that scared kid that had been clinging to Vanille's arm. Ever since Cass had first mentioned it to her - Hope's willingness to take on bullies - she just couldn't understand how. "That's... true. That is a rather stupid thing to do. Who would defend your ass?" Cass chuckled. "It's hard to swallow, though. When..." Lightning gave her companion a glance as she began reconsidering letting him into her mind. But she stopped, remembering who she was doing this for and that she was glad that she was learning more about Hope during this _civility_. "When we first met Hope, he seemed like he'd never been in a fight in his life." A memory of a young Hope stumbling over his own feet came to her mind, making her smile inwardly. Until she remembered how she'd treated him for it.

Cass snickered and pulled his beanie from his pocket. He fingered it a little before placing it lazily on his head. "No, he'd been in a fight... he just... wasn't used to fighting back."

Lightning nodded and noticed the fondness in Cass' eyes that was always there when they spoke of their missing friend. "You guys _are_ really close, huh?"

He shrugged, staring dully at the wall. "When we were younger, I worshiped Hope with an intensity approaching religious. He was my best friend, my role model and my big brother all wrapped into one. And after everything and he woke up... he was... _mostly_ the same. He still treated me the same and I him. Even tried to help me deal with the loss of my mother, her being locked in that crystal and all." He bit his lip. "It didn't really work. Most time's I just wave off my pain and try to forget it's there. But Hope... He absorbs his pain... takes it and makes it a part of him that he can use to make himself better." _Maker, I miss that dunce._ He jumped up from his position, joker smile in place. "Well, now that we're all thoroughly depressed, let's shuffle off to the day job, shall we?"

* * *

Hope watched in horror as his brand began to appear on his arm. _Please don't do this._ "Please." He continued to struggle. Due to both the pain of his incoming brand and the fear that he would soon become that destroyer of mankind that Yeul had foreseen, he fought relentlessly. He couldn't let his brand come back, but it seemed there was no stopping it. His wrist felt like hot iron was being burned into it, all the way into the bone.

The vile woman stood and donned her cloak, watching all of her work finally pay off. As the young man before her cried out in sheer agony and thrashed on the table, she could only laugh. That is, until she saw the brand's progress subtly, but surely begin to slow. Fear and anger flashed behind her cold gray eyes and she stomped towards him. She was ready to finish him off. She had gotten him this far, she could most certainly finish what she had started. She always did. But as she stepped two feet forward, she was met with an invisible barrier that surrounded and shielded him. It seemed the one thing that was causing him the most grief was also protecting him, cocooning him. Castea growled and beat her fists against the force field. When that didn't work, she tried spell after spell, but it was no use. This frustrated her to no end. _You little maggot. I won't allow this._ She tried to see if the brand had grown any further, but the glow of his wrist was too bright.

The light emanating from his surfacing brand momentarily blinded Hope. Even as he closed his eyes, the light pierced through his eyelids. His brand would not allow him peace. He couldn't even find the solace of the darkness. His back arched as his skin felt like it was being fileted off of him. _I can't do this. Please, please, just let me die!_

 _"Hope!"_ A voice seemed to call out to him in his mind. Faintly, he recognized the bright, cheery tone, but his mind was so lost in his suffering that he couldn't find a way to figure it out. _"Hope, hang on. Please!"_ Through his hazy state, Hope realized who it was. The accent should have been a dead giveaway.

"Vanille?"

_"Yes. Now, you need to-"_

Hope let out a shrill cry as waves of pain shot through him. His body heat was raising rapidly and sweat poured down his forehead. "I'm sorry, Vanille. I can't do-"

_"Nonsense."_

"Fang?"

_"Looks like I gotta knock some sense into that thick skull o'yours."_

A small smile came across his face but was quickly wiped away by another jolt of searing pain. His throat was parched and his lips had become painfully chapped in a matter of seconds. It felt as though he was laying on the sun. Or that he had swallowed it. Even though it was incredibly difficult, he tried to respond. "I'm sorry, you guys." It came out as a croaked whisper. "I can't live like this anymore."

 _"Shut it",_ snapped Fang. _"People need you. Academia needs you. Snow, Dajh, Serah, Sazh, Lightning, they all need you."_

Hope's eyes fluttered closed as he felt the life draining from his body.

 _"We need you"_ , Vanille cried.

But Hope couldn't hear them anymore. While drifting out of consciousness, his body became numb, as if it had become used to the pain or his mind had just blocked it all out.

Castea bared her teeth as she growled. _The kid doesn't even have his brand fully back yet and he's already blocking my powers._ She sent a firaga towards him and this time, her spell came back at her. She had already cast protect on herself so there was no harm done except to her pride. "Sebastian! Get your ass down here", she yelled, fury filling every fiber of her being.

Sebastian shot down the stairs and over to her, followed by four men. "Lad-" Immediately he stopped, seeing the blinding white light emanating from Hope's wrist. The other men went toward the young man and were shocked as they were met with Castea's current problem.

"We have to get to him, Sebastian, but he's put up some sort of shield. I'm so close I can taste it. I just need to get closer. He's already fighting off the brand. Who knows if he'll be able to stave it off completely." Castea closed her eyes before grabbing Sebastian's arm, her nails digging deep into his skin, and pushed him further toward Hope's table. "I want that protection barrier down. All of you use the most powerful spells you can. But stop if the shield comes down." All together, Castea and her henchmen, threw every different powerful spell they had. It was no use. One of Castea's men tried a blizzaga spell, only to have it ricochet back and kill him instantly.

After a tireless ten minutes, nothing was working. Sebastian looked over to Castea with worry written on his face. "Lady Hidon. This isn't working." She didn't look at him nor acknowledge his comment. A yell was cut short from across the room as another man fell dead.

Castea gritted her teeth and walked as close as she could to Hope. "I..." She stopped and thought of how she could threaten him. She couldn't get close to him, so harming him was a useless threat. But she knew just the thing to use against him. As loud as she could manage, she yelled over the use of the others continuing with their casting. "Listen, Hope. I know you don't want to make me mad. I will get the _invincible_ Lightning Farron down here. We'll just have to see how tough she really is as she's squirming next to you with a blade being driven into her gut."

Hope's eyes snapped open. He half expected for the roaring pain to come zooming back, but he still stayed in an utterly numbed state. He couldn't even feel the beating of his own heart. His eyes darted to Castea. He heard her words and knew she would make good on her threats. Her smile grew as he watched her. He couldn't move a muscle as it appeared that whatever was keeping him safe from the pain and Castea was also crippling him. He wanted to cringe, fight, yell, do something, but he couldn't even manage an eye twitch. But inside his head, he was screaming. _No! You won't ever take Light. I won't let you. You can't. I'll... I'll..._ He couldn't do a damn thing. If this barrier didn't come down soon they'd go after Lightning. He would do anything for her. If he could, he would let down his protection, but it was out of his control. Everything was out of his control. And he couldn't stand it.

She could tell by the look in his eyes that she had him. _Just a bit more._ "Are you still watching out for her Hope?"

Hope's eyes widened. _"Lightning. I—me too. I mean, at least I'll try. I'll try to watch out for you, too."_

"I can't wait to hear her cries and screams echo throughout my halls. Imagine her blood gushing from her skin and the pure agony in her expression. Think about it, Hope."

And that was the last straw. Her words ignited his imagination. Vividly, he pictured Lightning beside him being tortured on a table of her own. The screams... the pain on her face... the cuts... the burns... the blood... her face as it paled... the light leaving her eyes... Hope had lost and he had nothing to cling to anymore. No hope was left for him and finally he gave. Every last bit of restraint left him. Despair took his heart and soul as he was ready to surrender. To death? To Castea? He didn't know. All he knew was that it was over for him.

His external suffering came back with a vengeance as his wrist burned with an intensity that was sure to kill him any second. Yet he recognized a feeling. Deep inside, a familiar presence awoke. _Alexander?_

As if answering to his name, the Eidolon began to emerge from within Hope. The entire room and no doubt the rest of the Ark shook as Alexander rose behind the young man.

Castea's jaw dropped as she watched the giant fortress appear before her. Turning to Sebastian, she saw his face mirrored hers. Stones began to fall as the ceiling and walls broke apart. Although the room was big, Alexander was too much for it. As he continued to grow, he reached the ceiling of that floor and broke through it. The last of Castea's men besides Sebastian were smashed by falling stone. The woman went to move, but every time she stepped out of place, giant pieces of rock and structure would fall before her.

Hope's eyes grew wide seeing his old friend return. He watched with shock while still wincing at the pain of his wrist. A small tear escaped his eye at the sight of his Eidolon and the sight of a new found hope. As he began to smile, a chunk of the ceiling loosened above him. It fell toward him along with several slightly smaller pieces. Hope's eyes squeezed shut and he cringed waiting for his inevitable death.

But it never came.

He opened his eyes slowly to see a giant hand hovering above him. Alexander had stopped the falling debris. He then tossed the rocks over into Sebastian, pinning him into a corner. The room was clouded in dust and dirt which made it hard for Hope to see and breathe. He began coughing and closed his eyes as the filthy atmosphere was stinging them. Then he felt an unbelievable pain in his side. His eyes shot open. The dagger that had once occupied his side had been ripped out and Castea held it at his throat.

"I won't..." She looked as though she were at a loss for words. Something Castea didn't experience much. "You get rid of him or I swear-"

Somehow, Hope managed to laugh. Locked in a dungeon, restraints tying him down, a knife held to his throat by a woman threatening to take everything away from him, and he laughed. "You really don't... know how Eidolons work, do you?"

Before Castea could even manage a retort, she was struck in the side by Alexander's hand. Her body was flung into the wall behind her. At the angle her head hit the wall, her neck had surly snapped.

Hope gasped at the sight before gasping at the pain in his side. The hole was still very much present. As he looked down at it though, he felt a cool sensation throughout his body as the wound healed shut. He looked up toward Alexander and gave him a smile. The giant then sent a careful fira to Hope's left hand that burnt off his restraint. Quickly Hope used the dagger that had been left on his chest to cut through the last of his bindings. As he was cutting the last one on his right foot, he slowed, staring at his brand. It captured his attention, not because of its return, but because of its new look. It was a crystalline blue. Though it reminded him a lot of Fang's, it was much bluer whereas hers was white. Hope's head shot up as he heard many others coming toward him from the stairs. Being distracted, he had yet to cut himself free.

Five more men came down from the third floor. Alexander began taking them on as Hope cut the last cuff. He scrambled off of his table only to be met with one of the nameless men under Castea. As he walked backwards, stumbling over the stone that littered the now devastated room, he tried to delve into his magic. _If my brand and my Eidolon are back, then my magic is too, right? I just have to remember how to use it._ The man in front of him was only a hair smaller than Sebastian and he was snarling toward Hope as he drew nearer. No doubt, he knew of Castea's death. His brand was visible to Hope being on the back of his hand. It was white like Fang's.

Swallowing thickly, and hoping to find his well of magic somewhere, he raised his hand. Closing his eyes, he searched until he felt that tingling feeling of magic course through him and into his hand. Hope opened his eyes as he released what he wanted to be a blizzara and instead was a very weak fire. The man snickered as the magic barely fazed him and he came closer, raising his own hand. Tripping on a large rock, the silveret fell backwards to the ground. Just as the large man was to send a powerful spell into Hope, he was smashed by Alexander's foot.

Hope smiled gratefully up at the giant. "Thanks, buddy." His Eidolon had already rid the room of the others yet Hope knew there were no doubt more ahead. _I have got to figure out my powers again. Alexander won't be able to stay long._ Grateful that the stairway was still accessible and still intact, he bolted toward it, his giant following behind.

As he reached the third floor and began running for the second, Hope stopped in his tracks. _Zalera! I can't leave her._ Remembering every turn from his cell, he ran to it. When he reached the hall of cells, he was amazed that he hadn't come across anyone. Unknowing of which was hers, he called out for her quietly, as to not alert any other minions. "Zalera? Zalera, where are you? It's Hope."

"Hope?!"

He heard Zalera's voice a couple doors down and went to it. "Hey. I'm gonna get you out, okay?"

Zalera was stunned. She had been wondering what all of the commotion was. "How are you free? What happened? Where's-"

"Castea's dead. I'll explain in a minute." Hope held out his hand over the lock and sent a blizzard spell into it. It was very weak, but he was glad he got it right. After a few more, the lock was thoroughly frozen. Hearing a few voices coming from the stairwell around the corner, Hope sent Alexander to take them out.

When the Eidolon had turned the corner, Hope kicked at the frozen lock until it busted. He reached for the handle only to be grabbed by the throat from behind. He was then turned around and shoved into the wall. Another burly man, whose white brand was on his face, began strangling the life out of him. His hands were huge and were able to easily trap Hope's neck in their grip. With the force and strength of the man, it wouldn't be long before he was dead.

"You think you are to just kill us all and escape? I don't-" The man was hit in the side of the head with a metal tray. His hands came off of Hope's neck as he was tackled by Zalera.

Hope focused on breathing as he had thought for sure that his throat had almost been crushed. He looked over to see the man toss Zalera down the hall like a rag doll. As he turned back to Hope, the young director let a thundaga loose from his fingertips, sending the man to the floor, dead. Hope was stunned by the ferocity of the spell considering what he was expecting. He stood and saw Zalera still on the ground, staring wide eyed at him.

Hope ran to her and pulled her up. "How did you-" Zalera stopped, noticing the brand. Her shocked face looked up to Hope as tears welled in her eyes. "They succeeded", she whispered.

"Yes, but we have to leave. Come on." He tried to drag her along, but she wouldn't move.

Guilt, regret and shame was all that filled Zalera. "I can't. I don't deserve to go." She shook her head as her eyes met the floor. "Just leave."

Hope took hold of her shoulders and shook her. He knew why she was doing this, but they didn't have time and he wasn't going to leave her. "No, Zalera. I'm not leaving without you." A faint smile crossed his lips as he thought of a way to get her to move. "Come on. Help me get out of here. I can't make it on my own." Her eyes met his. "Please."

An expression of determination came over her as she grasped his right hand tighter and led him out. "Okay", she yelled back at him.

He smiled and focused on following after her. As they came upon the second floor, they also met three men. Hope ran ahead of her and held out his hand hoping to send a fira. Instead, he felt his whole body go completely cold as a large blizzaga flew from him. The sheer force of the spell threw him back into Zalera, sending them to the ground. When they managed to sit up - Zalera momentarily glaring at Hope - they were amazed. All three men were frozen solid.

_"Hope, I don't have much longer."_

It was Alexander who was fighting above them on the first floor. His words snapped Hope back into reality. He turned to his companion who was staring at the men. "You okay?" Her expression remained as her gaze floated to Hope. He jumped up and grabbed her hand, pulling her up. He went to run for the first floor, but was stopped by her. "Not this agai-"

"No. Look." The woman pointed and then ran toward a desk. It held her bag and her chakrams along with Hope's gunblade. She tossed his gunblade to him before slipping on her bag and grasping her weapons.

Catching his gunblade, Hope beamed. It seemed they may actually make it out. "I thought I'd never see this again."

"Betcha thought you'd never wield magic again. Let's go."

He nodded and they ran. They made it up to the first floor and saw Alexander taking on a dozen last men.

The giant turned toward them slightly. _"Go."_

Hope grabbed Zalera and they ran toward the entrance. There were big, bulky stone doors and if they could just make it to them, they'd be free.

Just a few more steps and they would be at the doors. As he held out his hand for the handle, Hope heard a yelp from behind. He slid to a stop and turned to see Zalera on the ground. Her leg was painfully burnt and electrical currents ran across her skin. He went to help her up. "Come on."

"No", replied Zalera weakly. "Just go."

Hope frowned and pulled her up. "We do this together."

"How touching." The voice came from a man about fifty feet away that Hope didn't recognize. "But you won't be leaving anytime soon." The man was dressed in a white cloak that matched Castea's, obviously one of her more trusted associates.

Zalera grit her teeth and glared at him as he approached. "Barsilisk", she hissed, her voice dripping with venom.

"It's nice to see you, as well."

Without much thought, and to Hope's surprise, Zalera sent one of her chakram's toward the man. He easily side stepped it, but was soon met with another in the arm. The young Guardian had run up to him so fast, Hope had hardly made it four steps. She drew her chakram out of Barsilisk's arm as he sent a fira into her. She winced and slid away from him toward her matching weapon. As she grasped it, she felt another shock hit her, sending her to her knees.

The man smirked, but before he could make a move, he was hit in the back by a waterga. Clenching his jaw in annoyance, he turned to face Hope.

"No, go", yelled Zalera, urgently waving him off.

Barsilisk shook his head as the ground began to quake beneath them. "I'll bring this whole place down before I let you escape." _I won't let you take away all I've worked for. All we've suffered for._ The walls and ceiling began to crack and crumble. The violent shaking caused Hope to tumble to the ground. The man took a few steps toward him, his eyes piercing into Hope's. But when he opened his mouth to speak, he was struck with a chakram in the back. He let out a choked gasp before falling lifeless.

Hope shook his head, dispelling his stun, before running to Zalera's side. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." She winced and pulled her leg toward her.

He bit his lip as he looked at it. He wanted to heal her leg, but he wasn't sure he could. As with his other spells, there was a good chance that he would get it wrong and hurt her rather than cure her. "Can you stand?"

She attempted to get up, her hand on his shoulder leveraging herself up, but cried out in pain. "No, I can't."

A thunderous crack sounded from the ceiling. The Ark had taken too much damage and was now beginning to come down. Alexander took out his last opponent and went to Hope. Zalera attached her chakrams to her bag's back straps before Hope pulled her into his arms. The Eidolon brought his hand down to them and picked them up. Bringing them close to his chest, Alexander walked them towards the doors. Massive pieces of stone fell all around them, much falling on the giant. Hope covered Zalera best he could and Alexander covered them with his other hand.

Bursting through the doors, they made it to a dark tunnel. It wasn't very long and they could see the sun through the entrance. Hope could feel Alexander being pulled back into him. The Eidolon let them down just before he was dismissed. The cave had apparently been affected too because it was crumbling as well. As fast as he could, Hope ran with Zalera in his arms. Making it out just in time, the cave entrance collapsed, sealing everything and everyone inside.

Breathing in a sigh of relief, Hope laid Zalera down. He then knelt beside her and ran his fingers through his hair. For minutes, all the two could do was stare at the cave in amazement. They were finally out and they were alive.

Hope put his hand to his bare chest and closed his eyes. _Thank you, Alexander._

_"Congratulations, little one. You are free."_

He smiled. He'd completely forgotten what it was like to feel his Eidolon's presence and how his voice sounded in his head. Opening his eyes, he felt as though he'd lost all of his energy. In the rush of the situation, Hope had managed to drudge up enough energy to fight and survive, but now it was gone. All that was left now was pain and a feeling of utter exhaustion. Although Alexander had healed his most severe wound, all others were still very much present.

Seeing Hope's suffering through his expression, Zalera put her hand on his cheek. "Hey, are you alright?" Looking over his body, it seemed that question had an obvious answer. He still had many cuts, burns and bruises. Plus that escape had probably cost him a lot of energy. Not to mention how much his magic and Eidolon must have drained him. "You should heal some of this up", she suggested as she ghosted over a gash on his chest with her hand.

Smiling, he looked into her concerned gaze. He looked over her leg and drew in a deep breath. "Let me do something first." Tapping into his magic, he focused solely on healing her, trying his best to get his magic right.

Before she could stop him, the skin of her leg began stitching back together under his influence. Zalera closed her eyes and let the soothing magic take over her senses.

When it was all better, Hope drew his hands back. That took a lot out of the young man and he now felt ready to collapse. He bit his lip as the world blurred a bit. "There."

"You didn't have to..." She looked over at Hope and grabbed his shoulder as he tilted slightly to one side. She shook her bag off of her shoulders and got on her knees before him. "You need to heal some of your-"

Hope chuckled briefly. "I would, but it's surprising that I got the spell right on you. I'm not sure I could do that again." Their eyes met again as his vision refocused. "Plus I don't think I have the energy. Even if I did, I need to preserve my strength. We don't know if there are any more of them or what we'll come across out here." As he said that his eyes searched the area, realizing that now, they were on Pulse. They were in a forest at the base of a small mountain.

Zalera looked up. "It's morning." It was already hot and muggy out even though it was fairly early. But the two didn't care. They enjoyed the clear, crisp air that filled their lungs, replacing the musty, dank air they'd been breathing in for months. The sheer color around them was wondrous.

As they continued to survey the area with their eyes, Hope caught sight of the beautiful, giant crystal that was Cocoon. It stood proud over the surrounding trees and was surprisingly near. "We were that close", stated Hope, astounded. He attempted to stand, but felt tugged down by an offending hand.

"Nope." Zalera led him down and pulled out a rolled up mat from her bag, placing it under his head. "You rest. I'll stay on lookout."

Hope went to protest, but felt all his words catch in his throat as he yawned and his eyes fluttered closed. Soon, he found himself in blissful sleep. Something he hadn't experienced in far too much time.

Zalera stood and looked out over her home. She drew in a shaky breath as tears built up in her eyes. _The last time I was here and free, you were by my side._ Tears began to silently fall down her cheeks and she looked at Hope. _You shouldn't have saved me, but thank you. I'll watch over you now. I owe you that._

* * *

After a few peaceful hours had swept by, Zalera continued to stand guard over a sleeping Hope. She had been a little leery of remaining in front of the cave, not knowing if more men would show up, but in favor of Hope's exhaustion, she thought it was best to stay. The morning was quiet except for the usual noises of the wildlife and beasts that occupied the landscape.

The green-haired woman felt a harsh mixture of joy and sorrow. She was finally free. Her and her new friend were finally out of that dreaded Ark and met with her beautiful home. All those months and Gran Pulse was still the same as ever. Although she wasn't alone, she felt lonely. The one person she had planned to remain with and protect for the rest of her life was gone. She would never come back. And no one could ever replace her. Even when Yeul was reborn, she wouldn't be the same. She wouldn't be her Yeul. And who knew who she'd be born to or where. Finding her would be impossible.

Zalera took a glance at the sleeping young man a few feet from her. She was glad that he survived and was grateful that he had gotten her out. But even so, as much as she hated herself for it, she felt an overwhelming need to kill him. He was again a l'Cie. A l'Cie with the power and destiny to kill off all that inhabited the planet. How could she not think about killing him? He was now a threat to all of humanity.

Chakram in hand, she walked slowly over to Hope. He was lying on his side, one hand under his head, unaware of his friend's cruel thoughts. As she stood over him, she brought her weapon to his throat. One sharp, silver spike was only a centimeter from his pale skin. Swallowing, she tensed. Her mind raced with thoughts of how it was the right thing and how it was for the good of everyone. Her hand began to shake ever so slightly though as she began thinking of him as a person. Not as a monster bent on destruction and an unleashed murderer, but as a simple, humble man. A young man that had a life, goals, hobbies, family, friends. He didn't choose this fate or this evil power.

 _I'm sorry._ She quickly withdrew her weapon and walked away from him. Staring out into the small forest that surrounded them - for she couldn't stand to look at the poor kid she almost murdered - she thought about what she could do. _I'll protect you. You saved me and helped me even though I should have died for my failures. And I will help you fight this fate. You will not be used by anyone to commit this unspeakable evil. If there is anyone left hunting you, I will kill them. And I will get you home._

"Zalera?" Hope groggily sat up and rubbed his eyes. "What-"

She turned, eyes wide, and looked at her fellow companion. "It's only been a few hours, you should rest more."

He smirked as he got up from the ground. Yes, he was sore and his body screamed for more relaxation, but he was free. He'd be damned if he wasn't going to enjoy his freedom and the ability to move untethered to a stone. Looking around the area, Hope's expression was filled with glee. "We did it. We actually made it. I thought I'd wake up to find myself strapped back to that..." His jaw tightened and his eyes squeezed shut momentarily. "... Maker forsaken table and it all would never end."

Letting go of her thoughts, she walked over to the overjoyed young man. "No, you saved us." She gave him a small, very genuine smile.

Hope looked at what seemed to be a new Zalera. They were both still filthy, covered in dirt, blood and sweat, but she seemed more beautiful now than she had ever been. Maybe it was because she appeared to be genuinely happy for the first time since he met her, or it was the way the sun and clean air graced her features, but she was stunning. He chuckled before coughing a bit because of his dry throat. "It was Alexander who saved us."

The young woman shook her head. "You saved us. I'm just sorry..." She looked down at his wrist and frowned. "I'm just sorry it took _this_ to get us out."

"Yeah, I always covered my brand when we were l'Cie. So it wouldn't be noticeable, you know?" She brushed her fingertips against his left wrist and Hope winced, remembering the pain. "I guess... I should..."

Zalera then ripped off a piece of her skirt and wrapped it around his wrist, hiding his brand. "Well, when we find people, you should tell them. Not have them just find out and have to explain. This way, it'll be on your terms." Their eyes locked as hers searched his.

He fingered the fabric and grinned at her. "Thanks." Jumping as he heard a loud roar, Hope looked away. "We need to get going." He sighed and looked as if he were going to cry from happiness. "I can't believe I finally get to go back."

As he went to walk toward his bladeon the ground, Zalera put her hand on his chest, stopping him. "We'll find a safe place to rest. You need more sleep."

"No, I'm alright-"

"You need it, Hope. We're very close to Academia. Most likely all of those l'Cie are dead. There's no rush." Irritation and a hint of anger passed over his expression, causing her to take a step back.

 _No rush?_ "I've been locked up in that hole for who knows how long and my home is right there, so close that I could almost touch it and there's no rush? You may have your home back, but I don't. I have to get back to my home, to my family, to my friends-"

"To her?" Hope's anger seemed to dissipate quickly and Zalera's expression softened. She turned away from him as his shoulders relaxed.

"Yeah."

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she gripped her chakram tightly. "I won't ever have my home back. Yeul was my home. Nothing means anything without her."

He cursed himself for getting angry with her. "Look, I'm sorry."

"No." She turned and walked to her things. She packed her mat back up and strapped on her bag and weapons. "Let's go. If we avoid all unnecessary monsters and keep a steady pace, we should get there by nightfall."

"Are you serious?" He knew that it wasn't far, but he had no idea that they were that close.

"Trust me. I know my distances." She picked up his blade and tossed it to him. "We'll get you home soon."

* * *

"Okay, Lightning, we both know you aren't going to use that", spoke Cass as he rolled his eyes. _And here I thought we were getting along._

Lightning now stood in Hope's office with Cass against the wall, her gunblade at his throat. It was eleven in the morning and she was tired of his crap. She pushed her blade further into him so it was just grazing his skin. He didn't even flinch to stop her. "No, you're right. I won't. I can't" She drew back her weapon and holstered it. As he came off the wall, he smirked. When his eyes drifted from her, his body relaxed as he was ready to go back to his desk. When his guard was back down, she briskly stepped into him and socked him hard in the stomach. Cass let out a loud grunt as he collapsed to the ground, cradling his gut. "But I can do that." She stepped back away from him and walked over to the couch to sit down.

She had knocked the wind out of him so he attempted to suck in all of the air he could. "Really, I don't know what I did this time", Cass gasped out.

"Oh, I'm sure it was something." The two looked over to see Alyssa standing in the doorway. She had her hands behind her back and her sunny smile in place. "I just came to remind you of your string of meetings from twelve-thirty to four. If you're going to take a lunch, you should probably do it sometime soon."

Cass sighed. "Yeah, yeah." He waved her off as he picked himself up off of the ground.

"Don't hold back next time", said Alyssa to Lightning as she left the room.

The director looked to the door in mock exasperation and huffed. "What, is the world against me?"

"If you weren't such an ass hole-"

"All I did was compliment you." She gave him a death glare for cutting her off, causing him to throw his arms in the air. "Whatever, I give up."

The soldier crossed her arms and sat back into the couch while still staring him down. "Tactless and crude comments are not compliments."

Cass just rolled his eyes and walked to the door. "Like I said, whatever." He opened the door and slouched against it, rubbing his sore stomach. "Unless you wanna beat me up some more, we should probably get some lunch." She didn't move an inch and he itched his head through his beanie. "I'm going to get some food and I'm pretty sure my guard is supposed to come with me."

Keeping her steeled expression, she stood, not voicing her irritation or unpleasantness and followed him out.

Ten minutes and one silent walk later and they were down on the first floor. As Lightning went to walk toward the mess, Cass stopped her. "Not today. I'm seeing someone today."

Lightning rose a brow, knowing that Cass didn't socialize much. Figuring he meant Sazh or Maqui, she continued to follow him. As they approached the business owned by Jun, she grew curious. "What are we doing here?"

He looked back at her and smirked. "I told you I was going to see someone today. Have you eaten here? It's great."

"Yeah. Hope and I ate here."

Cass' expression changed to that of wonder. "Really?"

"Now, what can I..." Jun came up from behind the counter and stopped when she saw her new customers. "Well, I'll be damned. If it isn't the new director. How have you been, Cass?" The woman's voice held a bit more exhaustion than the last time Lightning had seen her. She also had some bags under her eyes and her white hair was tied in a messy bun. Her eyes lit up even more at the sight of Lightning. "Oh, and it's nice to see you too, young lady."

Cass smiled. "Hey, Jun. I'm doing fine. 'Cept all this work they got me doin' is killing my brain."

"Yes, well, no one ever said the job was easy. It was no wonder when Hope stopped coming by with the rest of you." A look of sadness and sympathy crept into her expression. "That poor boy. Maker, whoever took that young man deserves a hell of a lot of-"

"Nana?" A young boy with a mop of indigo hair came up next to Lightning and was giving Jun a curious look with eyes of a familiar violet-gray.

Quickly snapping her mouth shut before any harsh adult words could reach his little ears, Jun peeked out the window to look at him. "Dear, what are you doing out of school?"

He chuckled and rolled his eyes. "I got out early, remember?"

The old woman put her palm to her forehead. "Right. I'm sorry, honey." She waved towards Cass and Lightning. "You remember Cass, don't you?"

His face lit up and he jumped up and down. "Hey. I haven't seen you in forever."

"And this is his and Hope's friend, Lightning, right?"

The soldier nodded and gave the kid a small smile. She bent down and held out her hand.

The kid's eyes widened as he looked at her. Slowly he grasped her hand and shook it. "You're pretty."

Cass snickered to himself and slapped the kid on the back.

Lightning chuckled and stood. "What's your name?"

He gave a sheepish expression that reminded her of Hope's. "It's Arden. I'm eight." He looked between Cass and Lightning as he thought of a question. "When's Hope coming back?"

The three adults' smiles all wilted and Cass and Lightning looked to Jun. "Honey, you should head on home. Get Donya from the bakery to take ya home. Be careful, okay?"

His face dropped as he whined. "Aww, but I wanna spend more time with Cass and the pretty girl, Nana."

"No buts, Arden. Run along. It's only a block away. And no TV til I get home, all right. Remember, I'll know."

He sighed. "Yeah, because grandmas know everything." Arden turned and waved at the two next to him before taking off.

Jun wiped her brow with a sigh. "Man, what I wouldn't give to have his energy." She laughed and turned to Lightning and Cass. "What would you like?"

"The usual. For both of us", replied Cass. Lightning frowned at his assumption. "Don't get your panties in a bunch, princess." Jun leaned over and smacked him upside the head, causing Lightning to chuckle. "Ow!"

"That's no way to talk to a lady. Be a gentlemen."

He rubbed his head. "Geez, sorry."

Lightning pointed toward him, brows knit. "This one? A gentlemen?"

Jun gave a laugh. "Oh, he can be one." She faced Cass with a raised brow. "I remember when the three of you used to come around. You would be so sweet and courteous to her."

The young man bit his lip as he fought the warmth rising to his face.

This intrigued Lightning. "Who?"

"The young miss Nivien", responded Jun. "Even while she was dating Hope. But he was too good of a friend to do anything about his feelings."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Jun just snorted and handed them their food. "Anyway, come around more often you two. Arden misses ya, Cass. And he's seems quite taken with you, dear."

Lightning quirked a brow. "Is it just the two of you?"

The woman sighed as she put Cass' money in the register. "We all lost people in the fall. His mother was killed in the attack on Eden and his father... my son is most likely crystallized in that world up there somewhere. It was a miracle I found Arden. I take care of him now." She wiped the coming tears from her eyes with a worn out smile.

"I'm sorry."

Jun reached out and patted her hand. "Don't be, dear. Trust me I've heard my share of apologies from Hope already. That boy is such a sweetheart, but he really needs to stop blaming himself for it all. I don't blame any of you. It wasn't your fault you were made l'Cie. Now go on and enjoy the sunlight."

They said their goodbyes and walked over to the Academy steps. Lightning sat and stretched, mind still encompassed in the woman's words. "I get why Hope works so much a bit more now."

Cass gave her a curious glance as he began to eat. "Really?"

"He feels guilty. I do too, but..."

He furrowed his brow as he looked at the usually hardened soldier. _Hope really does soften her up._ "It's not just that. There are a lot of people he wants to save and feels obligated to. Like it's his duty to save them all. Be it your sister, her fiancé, Sazh's boy, Nivien's parents, Arden's father, my mother... or every other person trapped in that crystal, Hope has worked tirelessly for so long to find a way to get them out." He hummed to himself for a minute and stared down at his food. "He finally finds a way and he gets taken. I mean, I don't mean to sound paranoid, but... it doesn't seem like a coincidence to me."

Lightning chewed slowly as she took in Cass's words. _No, it doesn't._

* * *

With one last hit to the chest by Zalera's chakram, the final Ahriman fell dead. "Looks like they're not letting up anytime soon." She wiped the beading sweat from her brow as she turned to Hope.

He half grinned as he dropped his weapon to his side. "Yeah, what was that? Like the fifteenth group of monsters in the past hour?" He shook his head to rid himself of his weariness. "Let's go. We're getting closer and..." Stopping, he looked to Zalera with confusion. She was just standing there, staring at the ground, her face holding a tinge of hurt. "What's up?" He couldn't help the impatience that seeped into his voice. Hope was eager and ready to get back home after all that time away. He just hoped that there was enough of his genuine concern in his tone to mask over his rudeness.

There was a lone daisy growing a few feet in front of her. When her eyes had spotted it, she found that she couldn't draw her gaze away. It had been Yeul's favorite flower that she had always loved.

"The daisy, huh?" Hope came up to her and gently put his hand on her shoulder. She furrowed her brow and looked at him. "You told me a while back that she favored them."

She nodded her head in response. She then bent down and brushed its petals with her fingertips. "For as long as I knew her."

Hope bit his lip as he struggled with a question. He'd already asked her a couple of times, but there had never been the right opportunity for a proper response. "Zalera?"

Nodding in reply, she continued to caress the flower. The young woman already knew where the conversation was heading. And this time, she would tell him.

"How come you're not a l'Cie? I know that Yeul's Guardian is supposed to be one and it makes sense so..."

Standing, she looked into his inquisitive irises. They held curiosity, but still that same gentleness that told her it was all right for her to ignore the question and move on. "I was not her original Guardian. During an attack by some Pulsian beasts, Yeul was severely hurt. Although her Guardian healed all her wounds and she didn't blame him, he blamed himself. He felt he could not protect her, that he was a failure." She laughed bitterly. _I now know how that feels._ "Those doubts coupled with her previous injuries, turned him Cie'th..." A pregnant pause followed her words before she continued. "Yeul didn't want a Guardian after that, not when that was all her protector would have ahead of them when she was hurt or dead. So I told her... that I would protect her without the powers of a l'Cie. It was better than no Guardian at all. At least, I had thought..."

Hope sorely regretted asking the question. He couldn't believe he'd asked her anything remotely involving Yeul when she was already understandably having a hard time. Instead of attempting to console a woman who was still not ready to face her pain or carrying on with the awkward silence, he figured it was best to just leave it be and continue on. "C'mon."

* * *

And so they sat. Cass, Hildough and a few other men that Lightning didn't know and didn't care to know sat around a table in one of the many conference rooms of the Academy. They were discussing some form of business and she had long ago tuned them all out. She wasn't there to observe the meeting or to participate in it. Nor was she asked to, unlike when she worked with Hope. He'd wanted her involved. That or he was just being a gentlemen in asking her to be since she was with him anyway. Regardless, she stood beside the oak doors, listening to nothing but her surroundings and doing her job of guarding and protecting the director.

The day since lunch had been rather uneventful and dull, filled with meeting after meeting all matching the current one. _What I wouldn't give to sink my blade into a monster or... ten._ With all of her boredom and pent up frustration, she found herself craving the rush of battle. She just wanted something to kill. It'd been so long that the soldier felt as if she were having withdrawals. Of course, even if she weren't on irritating guard duty and she were able to kill off some wildlife, she knew it wouldn't satisfy. For what or... really, _who_ she wanted to kill, was very much out of her reach. Her thirst for battle, blood and revenge was undeniably strong as she thought about it. She wanted desperately to rip apart the people that took Hope. _They deserve worse than any torture I can deliver, but when I get my hands on them..._ Realizing that she was now shaking with anger and Cass and Hildough were both giving her curious and concerned glances, she took a deep breath, pushing all that back into the recesses of her mind.

Her ears twitched as she heard someone approaching the door out in the hall. Slowly, as to not alert the rest in the room, her hand found her gunblade. Her shoulders tensed as she waited. A few moments later, a swift knock sounded from the door before Alyssa stepped in. Lightning relaxed and released her hold on her weapon.

"Director... um there's someone here to see you." Alyssa seemed uncharacteristically nervous. "She says it's important."

Cass stood and half-ass excused himself for a minute before following Alyssa out the door. Lightning, having to stay with him twenty-four seven, followed as well, leaving Hildough to make idle conversation until they returned. They walked a little ways down the hall into another conference room. Alyssa then smiled and left. When they entered, they were surprised to be met by the eldest La Salle sitting at the table.

Putting his hands in his pockets, Cass walked over to the lieutenant as she stood. Lightning shut the door behind her and then leaned against the wall beside the door, only there because of her job. She looked up to see that the woman looked furious, making Cass a tad uneasy.

Nivien scowled at the young man before her eyes shifted over to Lightning. "You are excused for now, Sergeant."

Lightning was ready to speak up, but Cass beat her to it. "She's fine where she is." He kept his gaze fixed on the seemingly distraught woman in front of him as he spoke to Lightning. "Although I doubt there's a threat here... better safe than sorry."

The lieutenant stepped towards him, eyes ablaze. "I ordered her out."

"And I ordered her to stay. Last I checked, I outrank you now, soldier."

Now Lightning knew he had a death wish. His cocky tone in the face of that fuming soldier pretty much proved it.

"Oh, you want her in on this, too?" She turned in Lightning's direction and gave her a sidelong glance. "Well, this _stranger_ is in on everything else, anyway."

Cass sighed, growing tired of the animosity. "Please elaborate."

Nivien's jaw tensed as she looked back at her old friend. "I just spoke with Captain Geno. What the hell are you doing, Cass?"

For a split second, his eyes twitched slightly, but it seemed Nivien hadn't noticed. "What?"

"You know very well what." She pushed him back by the shoulder. "What have you gotten yourself into this time? I thought you were-"

"Nivien, stop", ordered Cass, but she continued.

"This is exactly why Hope stopped talking to you."

Lightning's head snapped up. _Stopped talking to him?_ This confused the sergeant for all she'd known since she'd met Cass was that he and Hope had been great friends. Maybe she should have focused more on the 'had' part.

Cass appeared to take extreme offense to her words. "Oh, really… and why'd he stop talking to you?"

A look of shock registered on her before she smacked him across the face. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

As much as she felt that maybe Cass deserved what Nivien was doling out, Lightning thought she should step in. Cass looked back at the woman in front of him, stunned. As he went to move towards her, Lightning walked in front of him. "I think you two need to cool it." She put a hand on each of their equally tense shoulders. At the contact, Nivien's furious gaze landed on her before she shook her hand off.

"Get your hands off me, Sergeant. No one asked for your help."

Lightning clenched her teeth. She didn't need to get into another spat with the woman. It was incredible that she'd gotten out of being disciplined the last time. She didn't need to risk it again, but the woman was hell bent on a fight. "I'm just doing my job, Lieutenant. Maybe it's time you leave. Go cool off a bit."

Nivien scoffed. "So, you wake up out of stasis and think you're some big shot, bad ass soldier? That you can just take on and command anyone you want? That you can do whatever you want?" She slammed her fist down on the oval table beside her. "What gives you the right to come here and just..." Her head lowered as she bit harshly into her lip.

To say that Lightning was shocked would be an understatement. Was the lieutenant having a nervous breakdown? Was she going around yelling at everyone else this way or was this wrath reserved for just the two of them? And if so, why were they the lucky ones?

Cass shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Nivien... is this about..." He stopped and bit the side of his cheek. "This isn't about me, is it? This is about-"

Her head shot up. "No, this is most certainly about you. Hope told me to look out for you... to keep you out of this and... Dammit, Cass, do you want to die?"

 _What is going on?_ Lightning wanted to demand answers, especially since this all apparently concerned Hope, but she held her tongue until a better time. Again, she tried to step in only to again get her head chewed off by the lieutenant.

"No one wants your help, Farron. No one needs your help. Cass doesn't need it. I don't need it. Hope most certainly doesn't need it. So why don't you go back to protecting your statue of a sister?"

Lightning's body tensed as she tried to fight off the urge to beat the woman's ass. La Salle was out of line, very, very out of line, but she was still a superior officer. This needed to stop before things got any further, but try as she might she couldn't control her anger. "What did you just say?" She stepped towards Nivien, but Cass held her back. "Where do you get off talking about my sister? And I can protect whoever I damn well please. Hope is my friend, too."

Cass sighed. _How did I become the mediator?_ "No, stop it. This is so not-"

Nivien pushed Cass off to the side and grabbed Lightning's collar. The sergeant immediately shoved the woman off her, held up her hand and tried to remain calm. _If you were any other person, you'd be so dead right now._ "I don't know what your problem is, but-"

"Enough", shouted Cass. He stood and picked up his beanie that had been knocked off in the scuffle. "Lieutenant, leave now. Return to your post before... before I have to report you." His eyes met the floor so he wouldn't have to see her expression.

Lightning crossed her arms and scowled at the woman as she walked to the door. "This conversation is not over." She turned and glanced at both of them. "Neither conversation is."

"Lieutenant", warned Cass.

She left the room without another word.

Lightning's head was swimming with thoughts. She was replaying the whole situation over in her head to try and catch every detail she could. She tried to piece things together, but couldn't. She turned to Cass. "What was that about?"

Cass looked over at the soldier. She sounded surprisingly calm, but with a glance, he could see she was straining herself. "I'm sorry about La Salle's behavior towards you. That was uncalled for and... I'm sorry." He put his beanie back on and straightened out his clothes. "We have a meeting to finish." Lightning opened her mouth, but Cass spoke over her. "Please, we'll talk about it later. We don't have time right now."

As much as Lightning hated the thought of waiting, she kept her mouth shut and nodded. At least this way she knew she would get real thorough answers if they talked about it when they had more time. And they _would_ talk about it. She wasn't going to let Cass get away without explaining things. La Salle had appeared to be a decent woman and soldier before. And who knows, maybe she still was, but she let her emotions get the better of her. _But emotions about what?_

* * *

The silence was becoming unbearable between the two as they continued on their course to Academia. There hadn't been a spoken word since Hope had stupidly asked that question. Not even through the last four battles did they speak. Zalera's mind was still endlessly trapped in her memories while Hope was trying to find a way to bring her out.

As they walked through another small spans of forest, Zalera finally spoke. "You can say something, you know? I'm not going to go off at every little thing you say." She flashed him a small smile as she relaxed a bit in her steps.

Hope's eyebrows furrowed before he sighed. "Sorry."

"And stop apologizing." Punching him gently in the arm, she chuckled. The young woman had thought a lot about Hope over the course of the day and she saw him now as not only a friend, but as a sort of redemption. He would give her a second chance. If she could protect him and keep him alive, then maybe she wasn't a complete failure. Of course, he already had someone looking after him. But it wouldn't hurt for the legendary Lightning to have some back-up. "So what do you think I'll be doing once we get to your city?"

Hope smirked at her calling it his city. It'd been over a year and he still wasn't used to his leadership role. Even if he was though, he never considered it his. The city was created by its people. It was their city as much as it was his. "Well, we have rooms in the Academy building. You can stay in one of those. And... I don't know. What do you want to do?"

Zalera shrugged and looked forward. She had never once thought about it in her entire life – living in Academia or any other city. Since she was born, all she had was her 'family' and she had been more than happy with that. But now with her people gone and her new oath, it was something that was inevitable.

Her ears perked and her body stiffened. She could feel the slight tremble in the ground and hear the approach of a creature on their tail.

The young woman's alertness had not gone unnoticed to Hope. He gripped his gunblade as he stared uneasily at her. Before he could ask, she grabbed tightly onto his hand and ran, dragging him behind her.

They continued running for a few minutes until they'd lost it. They were a little off course, but she figured it was worth it. That is, until they had run themselves into a bigger problem. Just ahead of them, was a Behemoth King. Their eyes met briefly with worry and fear. They were too close to it to be able to run, but they knew taking it on would be suicide. Before they could step a foot back however, the creature came at them full force.

Hope raised his hand in an attempt to cast something, but Zalera pushed him aside and out of the way. She drew up her chakrams and stood ready for a fight.

Standing, Hope sent a few firas at the beast, trying to slow its speed. The beast snarled at them and threw it's massive paw down on Zalera. She held up her chakrams in defense and held his attack back.

While she was preoccupied, Hope threw an aerora spell. It hadn't been what he wanted. He knew full well that the Behemoth was immune to wind magic, but he still couldn't get his magic down. It was frustrating him to no end. Hadn't he been the best with magic? It had come so easily to him before, what was wrong now? He shook his head, dispelling his thoughts. Zalera was still struggling with the monster and needed help. Wishing he had his boomerang at his side, he quickly charged at the beast and sliced into the paw that had trapped his fellow teammate. Then he drew it back and went for the King's head.

With Hope's attack, the beast eased off Zalera with a roar of pain. Regaining her bearings, she saw Hope going for the Behemoth's head. She then threw her weapons toward the monster's face in an effort to distract it. It worked for the young man was able to get it in the eye.

Crying out in agony, the monster threw out his arm and hit Hope in the side, sending him flying into a nearby tree. Luckily, Hope had already cast protect on himself, but the blow had still knocked a lot out of him and would surely leave a giant bruise covering his side.

Zalera gasped as she watched Hope land. She went to run to his side, but he held up a hand signaling he was fine. Drawing up her chakrams she then ran for the beast. The creature noticed and went to swipe at her. He got a claw full of air as she slid underneath its hand and underneath the Behemoth entirely. Mid-slide she brought up her weapons and sliced down the belly of the King. She made it out just in time for it to come crashing down to the ground. Giving a sigh of relief, the young Guardian went to Hope. When she reached him, his eyes were wide. Following his gaze, she found herself having the same reaction.

The Behemoth king began to transform and now stood before them, ready for another go. They both quickly stood and gripped their weapons tightly in their hands. Giving each other a slight nod, they split off in different directions and stood at opposite sides of the creature. Hope sent spell after spell towards the giant before them as Zalera took it on with her weapons.

He felt his strength dwindling as the battle continued. One quick glance over toward his partner told him she was experiencing the same. Her steps and attacks were a tad slower and just a little off. Firing off a waterga instead of a firaga, Hope cursed himself. He was tired of getting his magic wrong.

Their one savior in this fight, should they need it, would be Alexander. Sensing the being inside him, Hope knew he wasn't ready yet.

Zalera, clutching her chakram, went to stab the monster in the face, only to have the Behemoth catch the weapon in his teeth. Her breath hitched in her throat as the monster flung her back. After hitting the ground harshly, she stood, dazed. The creature, ignoring Hope's magic, then went to swipe at Zalera. She was just a second too slow for it as its paw found purchase in her side. Its claws ripped into her and through her back. Screaming in anguish, she attempted to bring her weapon up, but her grip slipped and it fell to the ground.

Hope yelled out to the beast and sent a powerful firaga into its side. This caused the King to throw the young woman to the side and turn its attention to him. Its movements were jerky and slow and Hope could tell it was almost done. While dodging the monster's attacks, he was able to take out the Behemoth in a few more spells and hits from his gunblade.

Sparing no time after the beast hit the ground, the silveret ran to Zalera. She was laying by the tree he had landed against before. Her side was gushing blood and Hope fought the disgusted look surfacing on his face. Zalera's breath was erratic and her eyes were dull. He was just thankful she was alive. "It's gonna be okay, Zalera. You're gonna be fine." He put his hand over her and focused on healing her injury. As a minute passed by, nothing came. "No, this can't-"

 _"Focus, Hope",_ spoke Alexander softly.

Drowning out everything around him and all thoughts in his mind, he lost himself inside and closed his eyes. When he finally felt the tingling of magic reach his hand, his eyes burst open. His cure spells began healing her and Zalera's pained expression softened. "C'mon, Z, you're gonna be fine." His spells stopped working, however. Her side was still open and exposed to the outside, but he managed to stop most of the bleeding and healed shut one of the gashes.

Coughing, she gasped as she attempted to sit up. "Did you just call me Z?"

Hope nervously smiled and rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, well... sorry." He pushed her back down when she cried out in pain. "Stop."

She laughed lightly. "Yeul used to call me that."

An apologetic look mingled with his concerned expression. "I'm sorry. Maker, I'm so sorry. I keep saying the wrong things and I can't even heal your wounds and-"

"Don't apologize. I've missed hearing the name." She gave him a warm smile and clutched his hand. "And you're doing fine with your magic. Your body has to adjust, especially since your brand was forced to surface. It will take a while before you get back to full potential." Gasping, she used her other hand to apply pressure to her side. "You need to go. Academia is only a small distance away now."

"No, I'm not leaving you." He jumped up, grabbed her chakrams and attached them to her back. He then picked her up, trying his best to ignore her pained cries of protest.

Zalera weakly scowled at him. "This is beyond idiotic. What if we come across more monsters?"

"We'll be fine."

* * *

Lightning arched a brow. "Are you going to speak sometime soon or are we just going to sit here?"

Sighing, Cass looked over to the roseate and frowned as he stood and walked over to the wall. They were back in Hope's office and Lightning was waiting for the director's promised explanation. "Nivien has just been a little... off since Hope disappeared." His words came out a little strangled, but he continued with an odd glint in his eye. "Which is understandable considering how close they were and the fact that his abduction led to her brother's capture as well."

"I know that, but... she had no right yelling at us. What was all that about? What was she talking about? Asking what you were into? That I thought I could do whatever I want?"

"Well, I think I know why she went off on you." He smirked as he looked into her confused expression. "You're a threat."

Lightning tensed and furrowed her brow. "What the hell are you talking about?"

He chuckled, finding her blindness towards the subject highly amusing. "Oh, it's unbelievably obvious. Hope has feelings for you." Her eyes darted towards him. "He's liked you as more than just a friend for a while now."

Eyes falling back to the floor, Lightning refused to listen to him. "That's ridiculous."

"Trust me, Lightning, I know what I'm talking about. And Nivien's just been jealous since you woke up. Even she knows." Lightning didn't say anything. She just looked off to the side with her arms crossed. "To tell you the truth, I think that's why they broke up."

Lightning's head shot up. "Because of me", asked the soldier, stunned.

Grinning, Cass walked over to sit at his desk. "Nivien loved Hope, there was no doubt about it. For some reason, though, he kept her at arms length. His work, his father's death... those were just excuses. I think... no, I know, that the real reason was because he was holding onto his feelings about you."

Giving him an incredulous look, Lightning was speechless. She'd had her suspicions when they were l'Cie, but she figured it had just been a simple crush out of adoration. She didn't think he'd still carried such feelings for her. She wasn't even sure how to feel about the thought. It was obvious that he was someone special to her, but she had yet to figure out in what way.

"I think it was the main reason for him throwing himself into finding a solution for waking those in stasis, as well. I think, initially, it was all to wake you up."

Her head was an utter disaster now. She couldn't even process half of Cass' words. She thought for a second, with the punk's record and smug smile, that he was lying and playing a trick. But something told her that it was the truth. Of course, this didn't explain what Nivien had been talking about with her accusations of his recent activities. Lightning gave him a suspicious glance. Before she could respond, however, her comm went off. A split second later, so did Cass'. They simultaneously looked at their comms. "It's Sazh."

"Alyssa", Cass replied.

They both answered only to give each other mirrored looks. Lightning stood and bolted out the door, still talking to Sazh. As she ran down the Academy's halls, his first sentences were all she could think about.

"He's all right, Lightning. Hope found his way home."

 


	12. Purpose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've failed you. Even more than I thought I had. I... let them do all of these... things to you and now you are...

Night had fallen. It was quiet and serene for most of Pulse. The air had cooled considerably as the harsh heat of day retired with the sun. The moon shone down brightly and the stars were visible with brilliant clarity. If he hadn't been in such a mad rush, Hope would have stood and watched the sky for hours admiring the beautiful scene.

Hope's heavy breathing and thudding heartbeat were all he could hear as he approached Academia. He was so close and with the proximity, he felt his body giving. The gashes and bruises felt larger than ever, his sore muscles now ached and burned, sweat poured down his body as his legs pumped beneath him, and Zalera's weight was getting to him now too.

Concern for her weighed heavily on the young man's mind as well. She had lost consciousness long ago and he couldn't help the dread that filled him as he thought that he might not be fast enough. He could still feel her slow heart beat and her ragged breath on his shoulder and chest, so he knew she was still alive. But for how much longer?

As they grew closer and closer to his home, the silveret smirked. They were coming up on one of the hangars in the Calvary base. There should be soldiers to assist once he got there and the hospital wasn't far from them. _Just a little farther and I'll be home._ His pace picked up slightly at the thought.

Two soldiers stood guard on the perimeter of Academia that Hope was closing in on. As soon as they saw and heard the approaching man, they drew their weapons. They threw worried and confused glances at each other, wondering how to engage this situation. Approaching monsters was one thing, a thing they could handle. But a person? They could simply be in distress and require assistance or they could be a disguised threat. As the man drew closer, the soldiers tightened their grips on their weapons.

"Halt, identify yourself. What business do you have here", shouted the tense soldier.

Hope tried to yell and run, but his lack of air hardly allowed him to even press forward, let alone speak. "I'm... someone, help... please? It's the... I'm t...th...the..."

When he came within fifteen feet in front of them, one soldier noticed not only his aura of utter exhaustion, the many wounds that marred his body, and the fact that he was tightly holding an unconscious woman, but that he was, none other than, the director. The soldier, a seasoned one at that, that had spoken earlier immediately lowered his weapon at the realization.

This elicited a hiss from his fellow officer beside him. "What are you-"

The older, more experienced man then pushed the other's gun harshly down and towards the ground. "Are you blind or just that much of a rookie? Call in. That's the director, you idjit." He then ran towards the young man.

"The director? As in the missing Director Estheim?" Before he could make himself look like anymore of a fool, he took out his comm and called in.

As the guard reached him, Hope's knees gave leading him to kneel, Zalera still tightly gripped against him. His head bowed while he allowed himself to catch his breath. He knew he needed to tell the soldier, who was now crouched beside him, what was going on, but his head was far too fogged. His mind was enraptured in his aches and pains, his worry for Zalera and the fact that he could feel her blood trickling down his stomach, but mostly by the pure joy in knowing that he was home. Hope felt a heavy deadness inside him being parried by the blossoming lightness of life coursing back through his body. _I'm home. Home..._

"Director", repeated the soldier. He carefully, yet firmly placed his hand on the young man's shoulder, stirring him from his thoughts and bringing him back into reality.

Hope's eyes finally met with the man beside him. "Please, she... needs help", Hope whispered breathily.

"Of course. A med team is on its way." The guard carefully extracted the unconscious woman from his grip and stood.

The only way he'd managed to get as far as he had, was with Zalera in his arms reminding Hope to stay strong and alive for her - to make sure he saved her. Without that, his strength dwindled. Still, he stood alongside the soldier carrying the young Guardian. After a few steps, however, he felt the deadness rise within him once more. He felt an arm snake under his and attempt to help him up. The other soldier came up beside him and Hope continued with his support.

The twenty year old private sent a glance of pity toward the director's bruised, cut up and battered face. "Careful there, Director. You need some assistance as well."

* * *

"Sazh, your chocobo is shedding all over the equipment", grumbled Maqui as he stood. Maqui was up late, as he had been most nights, working on a ship that he had already fixed. Ever since the incident, Maqui hadn't slept much at all. His constant tinkering turning from habit, to a sort of coping mechanism. He couldn't help the nightmares that had followed his encounter with the l'Cie. Night after night, lost in the terrors of his slumber, he'd feel the beatings over and over again until he couldn't take it. Then, the dreams would morph. They would change from his own horrifying experience to that of his friends'. Knowing what the creeps were capable of, just made him imagine all of the things his captured friends could be going through. And he knew Hope was getting the worst of it.

Sazh, who had become concerned for the young man and his health, decided to stop by on his walk with his feathered friend. Seeing the kid lost in a bed of wires was no surprise to him.

Maqui gave the man a glare, but it quickly faltered when the object of his annoyance nuzzled his chest. Trying hard not to laugh, the mechanic smiled and pet the chocobo on the head, listening to the bird's soft sounds of contentment.

Sazh smirked at the two. "Don't be such a grump. That's reserved for old men like me." _I'm glad I brought her. She can cheer anyone up._

The kid sighed. "How many times do we have to say it?" Sazh rolled his eyes, knowing exactly what he was referring to. "Quit talking like you're a hundred."

"Really now? Then why did someone happen to give me a cane and a bag of adult diapers for my birthday?" The man shoved him playfully and shook his head, remembering the rounds of hysterical laughter that had followed after unwrapping Maqui's 'present'.

"It was a joke _because_ you always act like you're older than the Maker." They both laughed as they stroked the large bird's neck. "I can't wait until you finally name her. I'm kinda tired of calling her 'the chocobo'."

Sazh's expression turned pained for a millisecond before softening. "That right is reserved for Dajh... when he gets out of stasis." That last part came out as a whisper. He would be lying if he said that he wasn't disappointed that it had been Lightning that had woken up. It wasn't that he didn't want her awake, he wanted to see all of them - have them all back in reality, enjoying the lives they deserve and remaining close with him. Even Serah, who he didn't know in the least, but from the stories he heard from Snow, he knew she was a wonderful girl. But he had been waiting for two years to see his son, milling through a life that had seemed meaningless without him. Unknown to most, Sazh had gone through multiple bouts of depression. Hope was always there to help him out, constantly checking in on him on his scarce times off of work. Even choosing to pop in over getting some well deserved rest. _And now he..._ Sazh brought his hand over his face as he dispelled his thoughts. Having only succeeded in sending himself into an even darker corridor, he realized he needed to leave that hall completely.

Realizing the slip of stupidity and carelessness, Maqui looked to his shoes. "S-sorry, S-"

"Aw, don't be." His smile was bright and charismatic as ever. "It's no problem kid." The man slung an arm over his companion's shoulders, shaking him a bit. As he went to say something else, he was interrupted by the side door to the hangar swinging open and banging harshly against the wall, a loud metal clang resonating throughout the building.

The two looked to the guard, who they knew as Sergeant Larinx, with curiosity as they saw a woman in horrible shape draped in his arms. Those looks quickly turned to an odd mixture of happiness and unbelievability as they saw those following through the door.

"Hope!" Maqui bolted from his spot toward their long lost friend, Sazh running after. They both took positions at Hope's sides to help keep him standing. The private nodded toward the two and went over to the sergeant's side as he laid the girl on an empty workbench.

Sergeant Larinx put a hand to her clammy forehead and sighed. He then turned to address the others. "The director came up running at us with this woman all torn up. A med team is on its way. It should arrive shortly."

Sazh nodded in acknowledgment before turning back to the young man beside him. He was shocked and horrified at Hope's condition. It seemed that every torturous pain you could ever experience, he'd been through, right down to the ripped out fingernails. Hope's dead eyes lost in the distance only reflected the excruciating events he'd experienced.

Maqui couldn't stop the flood of questions that cascaded from his mouth as he stared at one of the friends that all too often haunted his dreams. "Where have you been? What happened? How did you escape? How did-"

"Maqui", came Sazh's fatherly tone. "Slow down." He could feel Hope trembling against him and wondered if he was even aware of where he was. "Hope? Hope, it's us", he spoke soothingly, slowly guiding him over to a chair. "Are you-"

They all stopped abruptly as they heard a scream from the now writhing girl on the table. The soldiers, about to run to her side, were stunned, along with Maqui and Sazh, as they saw the director rush toward her.

Zalera was quaking and thrashing. She seemed to be fighting invisible demons – or past ones. "No! No stop!" Another ear shattering scream erupted from her. "Just stop. Don't touch her! I'll kill you. All..." She gasped and cringed, holding her stomach and curling in on herself.

Hope, who had been lost in a mindless daze, had heard Zalera's cries. Knowing that he had to help her, Hope was quick to get to her side, tucking everything else that had taken over his mind away for a while. He didn't dare touch her, remembering his own nightmares. His touch to her would most likely be like the sickening grabs and gropes of the monsters that had held them in the Ark. "Zalera", spoke Hope, loud as to reach her through her screams, but gentle to ease her out of her pain. "We're out. They can't hurt us anymore. They can't hurt her anymore. Castea, Sebastian... they're gone." Hope swallowed, taking in his words and finally letting his mind absorb the fact that they were safe. "Please, Zalera. We're home."

Zalera's eyes snapped open wide, full of fear. Breaths quick and erratic, it seemed she wasn't going to calm anytime soon. Her eyes searched the room around her before finding Hope's jade orbs. "Hope", she croaked. Her hand gripped his tightly, cracked, sweaty skin seeking certainty. "I-" Her eyes fluttered closed before she slipped back into unconsciousness, hand loosening before sliding out of his.

Sighing, Hope turned back to face the others in the room. "Hi", was all he said with a slight, feigned smile.

Maqui ran forward and embraced him, relief flooding him. "You're okay."

"As okay as I can be, I guess." Wincing a bit at the pressure on his wounds, Hope hugged back while meeting Sazh's eyes from over Maqui's shoulder.

The elder man stared not fooled by the smile Hope tried to give him, but he smiled back anyway and tried to brighten the mood. "It's great to have ya back, kid." Sazh swooped in to give the young man a hug when Maqui and Hope had separated. He grimaced when he felt a wet stickiness seep into his clothes and when the odor, a blend of vomit, blood, sweat and grime, hit his nose. The reflex to pull away was dulled by the need to keep him close. In finding that Hope was truly home and in his presence, Sazh hugged him a little tighter. Pulling back with a wide grin, he eyed the young man critically. "Time to get you cleaned up, huh? And where'd your shirt run off to? With your shoes?"

Hope chuckled until he felt the ground beneath his feet shift while a fuzziness invaded his vision. Falling forward into Sazh's arms, he sank to the ground mumbling something incoherent. He heard gasps and yelling and shouting, but none of it made sense. His breaths came in short bursts as he tried to let the air around him into his lungs. The blurriness of his vision would not relent. He heard more footsteps and new voices. Soon he felt himself being lifted and put onto what seemed to be a stretcher. He could hear Zalera kicking and screaming a short ways away from him, but he could not help her this time, even though he felt the need to soothe her fears as she had done for him.

As the world around him began to fade, Hope attempted to fight his way back, but his injuries and his mind held him with a steel grip. The darkness and deadness invaded him again, the pain not even reaching him. He had experienced so much pain in the past few months that it now barely fazed him. But he was home. He'd finally made it. He no longer welcomed that darkness and deadness that he wished so desperately for before. He reached and groped for the light ahead of him. The bright light that symbolized the warmth of his home and his family, but the evils of his past, of his pain, would not let him forward. It would not release him and Hope wondered if it ever would.

* * *

Lightning ran into the hospital with thoughts solely on Hope. The nervousness and guilt she'd had before when visiting Maqui held back by her sheer _need_ to see him. She searched through the room of nondescript, unimportant people for Sazh. When she spotted him, she found her feet carrying her toward him before she had even realized she'd told them to move.

His eyes darkened at the sight of the soldier. He knew this was going to be a long laborious conversation that would probably involve a lot of restraining the unrestrainable woman before him. "Lightning, good to see ya. I-"

"Where is he?" She mentally cursed herself for the shakiness in her voice but let it slip from her mind. Some things were more important than her pride.

Sazh sucked in a breath and ran a hand through his fro. "He's being tended to, okay, he-"

"I asked where he was", Lightning barked. She clenched her fists to stop the slight tremble in her body.

"Lightning, you need to calm-"

She stepped toward him, murder in her eyes, and grabbed his collar. "I'm calm. Now tell me where he is or I'll find him myself."

Sazh, grabbing her hands while attempting and failing to take them off of him, tried to show her through his eyes how the situation was. He tried to tell her wordlessly, since she wouldn't allow him to speak, how bad things were and how patient she would have to be. However impossible it could be for the soldier, she would have to wait.

Growling, she let him loose and took a deep breath, stepping away a bit before returning her eyes to his. Sazh gestured to a chair beside him, but she refused, although now finding herself worrying more since he thought his next words warranted sitting.

"He's bein' taken care of and you can see him as soon as they're done. You don't wanna get in the doc's way of fixin' him, do ya?" He put a hand on her shoulder which she lowered until it slid off.

"Tch, fine." She sat and glared at the man as if it were his fault. She had a feeling that she was soon going to be talked to like a child. That Sazh was the one to call her, the one there to speak with her when she stormed in, to handle her. And she hated being handled. "You can tell me what happened."

Sazh sat beside her, finding himself sighing once again. "He was found by some soldiers guarding the perimeter. They said he came runnin' up to them with an injured woman in his arms. From what we saw of her, she looked close to death. Of course, so did..." He cast a wary glance to Lightning.

"What woman?"

"We think she was probably another person held captive with him. She didn't have the same injuries, but-"

Lightning felt her breath hitch in her throat. She knew he wouldn't exactly be perfectly fine, but she hadn't yet allowed her mind to think about his condition. She had really only focused on the fact that he was back. "Injuries?"

Sazh slowly nodded. "Along with some wounds obvious from fightin' off the monsters of Pulse... it looks like... he was indeed... tortured."

Jumping from her seat as the last word left his mouth, she huffed. She felt herself falling back into her grief and despair. What had she done? What had he gone through after she'd failed to protect him and failed to find and save him? She paced over a small distance in front of Sazh, trying to refuse the desire to run to his side, which would no doubt disrupt him from being helped and ultimately hurt him more than help him. _I'm sorry. Maker, I'm so sorry._

He wanted to stand and comfort her, but knowing Lightning, that would only end with him having a broken jaw. So he sat and tried to let his words do the soothing. "He's goin' to be fine, Lightning. The doctors said that-" She gave him an intense scowl, telling him not to sugar coat anything. "He's got a lot of serious injuries and he'll need alotta time before he can... but he's gonna be all right. He's alive."

"You said he _was_ all right. There's a difference between alive and all right, Sazh." Her tone changed with her next sentence and was now a yell. "Tell me the truth. How bad is it?"

The people around them had now quieted considerably and stared. Lightning paid them no mind, but Sazh cast his eyes over them before leading the distraught woman down a hall. "He's-" Interrupted yet again, Sazh stopped as Rygdea came through the doors leading from the ER.

His face was grave, yet held a small amount of happiness and hope. As his gaze raised from the floor to the two, he made his way over. "Okay, Lightning, give him a break." The sergeant sent him a token glare for his assumption that she was giving Sazh a hard time.

"How's Hope", asked Lightning, skipping over their pointless exchange and getting to the concern at hand.

"They're done bandaging and stitching him up, but-"

Lightning turned to Sazh. If his injuries were so bad then how could the doctors be done with him already? Unless Sazh had waited that long to tell her. "How long ago did you find him?"

Sazh glanced concernedly at Rygdea before looking apologetically at Lightning. "Four hours ago."

Before she could even register his outrageous words, Rygdea stepped in. "It was my orders to keep this quiet, Lightning. We-"

"Quiet from me", she screamed. "How could you-"

"Don't, Lighning." Rygdea looked into her azure gaze, trying to show her his seriousness, but all she could see was his weariness and sadness.

Sazh rubbed his cheek before turning to the Calvary leader. "Can we see him?"

"He's still unconscious, but yes you can." Seeing Lightning perk up brought a knowing smile to the man's lips.

"How's the woman... Zalera", questioned Sazh.

Rygdea pulled his ponytail out and fingered the tie. "She's still in surgery. Her wound was pretty deep. If what you expect is true, then Hope probably-" He stopped, seeing the warning look in Sazh's eyes and remembered their earlier discussion.

The young woman sensed their keeping of secrets and stepped closer toward them. "What", she asked, frustration and growing fury evident in her voice.

Sazh sighed and looked to the tense soldier. "I think that Lightning oughta see him first."

Before she could say another word, Rygdea was signaling a soldier standing in the corner to them. Rygdea told the man to take Lightning to the director's room and stand guard outside until she was finished.

As she eagerly walked with the soldier, forgetting her question toward the men completely, Lightning was practically on the tall man's heels.

After the two had left through the doors, Sazh turned his attention back to Rygdea. "That was close."

"I'm sorry I forgot. And you're right. You're completely right. It's his to tell her." Rygdea shook his head as he thought about it. That wouldn't be a pleasant conversation.

Sazh nodded. "He did have it hidden for a reason. We were most likely not supposed to see it, but... I just can't believe it."

_Hope fell into Sazh's arms and the elder man sank to the ground with him._

_Maqui yelled toward the guards to see what was taking the med team so long before coming to_ _help Sazh. As he went to his side though, Maqui caught sight of something on his friend's skin partially hidden under a dirty piece of fabric that had ridden up. As he pulled it up slowly, his eyes bulged._

_Sazh, noticing this, found his eyes widening at the sight as well. "No."_

_Maqui looked up at Sazh. "H-how? I thought it was gone?"_

_"It was."_

Sazh was grateful to the doctors who'd sworn they would be sure to keep the cover on his arm, but he knew she would find it anyway. With the way Lightning was, she would surely note every injury on Hope and inspect his body completely. The foreign piece of torn cloth around his wrist would not go unnoticed nor unchecked.

* * *

Standing outside the door, she was surprised at the rising apprehension that was inside her. Her arm just wouldn't open the door. Anxiety, guilt, fear, pain, they grew inside her like weeds, spreading throughout her body. _Is he really in such bad shape? What happened to him? He blames me, I know it. I should have protected him. I should have come and saved him. Instead he had to do everything on his own. I can't face him. He won't- No!_ Lightning growled and shoved it all away. _You will face this, Farron. Hope's here now and you have to see what he's been through. You have to see what you put him through. And this is Hope. You have to make sure he's all right._

The moment she saw him, she wanted to scream. She wanted to take the people responsible for Hope's condition and break them into tiny little pieces. She wanted to hit something, beat something, shoot something... Yet she also wanted to stay by his side, heal all his wounds and make him better. Make him... him again. This was not Hope. This could not be her Hope that she had sworn to protect. She could never allow something like this to happen to him. Could she?

She stood beside him and couldn't believe her eyes as she scanned over his body, taking in all of his wounds. There were dozens of bandages of different sizes covering his body. Multiple cuts lied littered along him that were too small for coverage. He had bruising around his neck from obvious strangulation. Numerous burns marred his skin, and on his right wrist was a horrible burn from being restrained. Lightning trembled looking at him. He had such a gentle soul and was one of the sweetest and most caring people she knew. How anyone could ever do something so monstrous... to him of all people... she couldn't even imagine... she couldn't even breathe.

Taking a few, much needed, deep breaths, she looked at his face. His face even held the weight of his pain. Aside from the bruising and cuts, his lips were horribly chapped, there were deep, purple bags under his eyes and his skin seemed to hang a little loosely over his cheekbones from a noticeable loss of weight. With a shuddering breath, she brought a shaky hand to his messy hair and brushed it from his eyes. _Why you? Why did it have to be you?_

Lightning's brows furrowed as her eyes landed on his left wrist. His right wrist was left exposed, showing the burns from his bindings, but his left wrist was covered by a worn, tattered, green piece of fabric. Curious, she slowly, gently, almost nervously, slid the cloth up his wrist. As the brand slowly began to appear before her, she couldn't believe her eyes. She didn't want to.

In a huff of anger and disbelief, she ripped the fabric from his arm, exposing the offending mark fully. There it was. In all its glory. The hideous brand she knew all too well, that they had worked so hard to fight off, was back on his wrist and there was no denying it. He was a l'Cie once again.

 _I've failed you. Even more than I thought I had. I... let them do all of these... things to you and now you are..._ She couldn't process it. It was all too much. For so long, all she wanted was him back, but now... with him in front of her... she was faced with the harsh reality that she had abandoned him. It didn't matter why or if there was a good reason for it, she had abandoned him. And she knew she could never forgive herself for it.

Sitting, her eyes didn't leave the mark. Curiosity struck her as she saw the difference in color. It wasn't red and black. It wasn't white. It was blue. It was a bright, almost crystal-like blue. She found herself finding the dreadful mark quite beautiful and felt disgusted with herself at the thought.

Seeing as she couldn't bear to see it any longer, she looked to Hope's face once more. Calmness washed over her - the kind of calmness only Hope could instill in her. He was home. He was physically and most certainly emotionally damaged, far from all right, but he was home... with her.

As minutes ticked by, she watched him and she could feel herself already relaxing with him. She was regaining a sense of normalcy with his presence. It had been months, days of his absence she had endured, so it shocked her at how easily and how quickly she'd become accustomed to his presence in just twenty minutes. It baffled her. She knew that if anything were to threaten to take him away again, she would die protecting him. And if she failed and survived, she wouldn't make it this time. She wouldn't be able to handle losing him again.

Over the months that Hope had been gone, Lightning had had a lot of time to think about Hope as a person, as a friend, and as the man laying before her. As she watched his sleeping form, she couldn't contain the swarm of words from Nivien, Sazh and sadly even Cass, that buzzed in her mind. Yes, she was actually listening to Cass. Beginning to consider their words, Lightning crossed her arms and allowed herself to think about her and Hope.

Maybe there was something more forming between the two? Maybe that innocent bond they'd had years ago was flourishing into something else? She couldn't explain the feelings she had felt towards him. How she always wanted to protect him. How the distance between them seemed so unbearable while he was gone. Sazh had been right. She was completely torn up after losing him. She had felt utterly broken. She'd been too embarrassed, ashamed and in denial to admit it at the time, but he had been right. The only other times she remembered that feeling was when she'd lost her parents and when she'd almost lost her sister.

Something... something Lightning couldn't quite explain drew her to Hope. She could deny it all she wanted to everyone else, but it was useless to lie to herself any longer. _I guess... there's a possibility... a strong possibility... that I... I have feelings for you too._ The admission, silent and kept as it was, caused her to stand, her heart to beat wildly, and her hands to seek Hope's own. She didn't know what she would do with her feelings, if she would ever tell Hope or anyone else, if she could ever act on them, but there was a possibility. And that possibility made Lightning's head spin.

As her hands gripped his left, she found herself frowning as she felt the loss of his fingernails. She let go, imagining everything he'd been through. It wasn't hard. She'd done it so many times while he was gone, consciously, unknowingly, and in her nightmares. And now, with his wounds right in front of her, it only made it easier.

She shook her head. _It's over now. They can't hurt him. He's here with me. And if they come after him, I'll kill them, because... because... because I care for you, Hope._ She began to think of things returning to normal. How he would be after this. How they would continue on. If she really could... If they could...

And it didn't take much time before she began doubting herself again. _It's too much. It could never happen. Not because I don't care for him... but I'm not the type of person to love. I don't even... know how to love anymore._ _Am I even capable? I'm not what he_ _needs... what he deserves... Even if he does truly... have feelings for me, I just- Besides, he surely hates me now. I abandoned him, after all. Everything he could have felt for me is long gone. He could never forgive me, just like Serah._ She shut down the thoughts running through her mind. Now was not the time to think of any of that. Self pity helped no one.

She sat down again, waiting. Waiting for Hope to wake. Waiting for Sazh or Rygdea to kick her out, or to try to. Waiting to wake up and feel her heart shatter as she realized it was all a dream. But none of it happened and she found herself falling into a comfortable relaxed state as she continued to wait. To wait for something to happen. Bad or good. Because as much as she hated it, as much as she'd rather suffocate than be patient, it was what she had to do. So that was the soldier's current mission; be patient and wait.

* * *

"Sazh... please... I just-"

"I know, Nivien, but he's okay. Really, he is and he's still unconscious. You can't even speak with him yet." Nivien had come in ten minutes ago ranting and screeching about not being told, about having to hear it from Cass. Sazh had to apologize once again and explain that they were keeping it as quiet as they could until they knew what happened. Cass stood by her side trying to calm her down while giving Sazh a sympathetic look.

"What about my brother? Did Hope say-do they have anything?" Her hands were clasped together tightly in front of her as her foot tapped anxiously.

"No. There's still no news about him or the rest of the team." As Sazh said this, tears started to fall down her cheeks and she bit her lip harshly. Cass rubbed her back slowly as a look of disappointment came to his face. The elder man rubbed the back of his neck. "As soon as Hope wakes up, we'll ask him, but we just have to be patient."

Nivien's eyes squeezed shut as she struggled to keep herself from sobbing. "I still want to see him."

Cass gave Sazh a questioning glance that was answered by the pilot's expression. He knew Lightning would be in there with Hope. There would be no force that could stop her from getting to his side. Over two months with her had taught him well that the extremely protective soldier cared a great deal for his friend. "And you will but... they have a lot of things to check and they need to make sure that he's fine and... I think that", as Cass spoke with Nivien, easing her anxiety, he led her over to a chair away from Sazh, "it would be best-"

"Lightning's in with him... isn't she?" She didn't look at him, but stared at her hands as she sat. A dull look came over her as she wiped the still running tears from her eyes.

He blinked at her question before putting a hand over hers. "Yeah, she's only worried about him and, well you know her, she-"

"She lacks restraint."

Cass' eyes widened at her statement and the anger in her tone. "I have to wait too, you know? It's not just you." Their eyes met as she nodded before leaning back in her seat and putting her head on his shoulder.

* * *

Lightning sat there, trying desperately to ignore the small, soft , yet seemingly blaring beep of the monitor beside her. The fact that it was helping Hope being the only thing saving the offending machine from the wrath of her gunblade and her foul mood stemming from her worry. _Is it really that bad, Hope? Why haven't you woken up yet?_ A light tap on Hope's door brought her out of her thoughts.

Sazh stepped in and his eyes immediately went to Hope. "How's he doing?"

The soldier blew out a sigh and tightened her grip on her gunblade that laid across her lap, previously being polished in her 'patient' wait. "He's... the same. At least from what I can tell." She glanced at Sazh who stood uneasy. "How's the woman?"

Shaking his head, Sazh looked at Lightning with worry in his eyes that made the young woman curious. Sazh didn't know the girl so why was he so concerned? "She's still in surgery. It looks like... well, seems she'll be okay, but..." The man trailed off as he noticed the loss of fabric over Hope's arm. Eying Lightning cautiously, he opened his mouth to ask but she cut him off.

"Yeah, I noticed. I just don't want to believe it." Her grief stricken face held so much worry until she steeled her expression seconds later, gaze diverting from his.

Sazh frowned when her expression turned unreadable. "Why do you do that?"

"What..." Lightning turned to him with a look of dull curiosity.

"Keep everyone out? Stay stoic when you want to scream? When you're depressed or worried or anxious? I saw it, Lightning, when you came in the hospital. I saw it in your eyes filled with fear and frustration, in your actions riddled with anxiety and pain, in your tears that were threatening to fall. Why can't you just show that you care about him?" The pinkette looked away which only caused him to clench his teeth. He could feel anger bubbling inside of him. It took everything in him to not yell at her. "Maker, Light, what the hell? This kid cares so much for you. Do you know how much it would mean to him if he knew how much _you_ cared? Why do you have to keep everything bot-"

"Stop", Lightning yelled and stood, her furious gaze searing into Sazh's. "You don't know anything." _What do my feelings have to do with anyone else?_

Sazh stepped back pressing his lips together and steadying his breath, calming down. "I'm sorry. That was... completely uncalled for and..."

"Why?" His eyes looked up from their spot on the floor, shame running from them and turning to confusion. "Why do you... care?"

"I-" Recovering from a state of bewilderment, Sazh looked at the soldier with a smile. _You'd think she'd know by now._ He walked over to her and put his hand on Lightning's shoulder. "I care because you're family, Lightning. I care about your feelings, your thoughts. Ever since our time together as l'Cie, I've considered all of you my family. Of course I care. And you know what? No one cares for you more than this kid, right here." His eyes turned to the sleeping teen before them and he felt his chest tighten. "I know he looks to you with so much adoration and amazement. I know that he-" Sazh began to choke on his words as he felt a prickling at his eyes. "You have no idea how much he ached while you were crystal."

Lightning's azure orbs looked to Hope while an intense heaviness hit her heart. She didn't want to hear this. She didn't want to know how Hope had dealt with being forced to lose his new family shortly after losing his mother. She didn't want to know his loneliness. She had had a taste while he was gone that had threatened to break her and that had only been a couple months. _Hope had to endure five years, three until Sazh came back. Then he lost his father and..._ Lightning felt herself spiraling. _This is exactly why I don't want to even think-_

"I just don't want to see him suffer when he finally wakes up." Lightning's brows furrowed as she struggled to find his meaning. Sazh smirked knowingly. The girl was sharp, no doubt, but when it came to love and emotions, she needed much guidance. Putting his hands on her shoulders, he turned the soldier toward him. "I know, even if you don't that there's something here." Sazh took her hand, an incredulous expression overtaking her face at the contact, and led it to lay over top of Hope's. "Maybe you still need to discover this or process it or whatever, but... I want you to know that no matter what reason you come up with for denying your feelings, know that it will never be that he doesn't love you."

A light tinge of pink rose to her cheeks, but she kept her eyes behind her bangs. Lightning had had no idea how much Hope had cared for her, but it seemed everyone else did. It seemed everyone suspected her own feelings towards him even though she was only just becoming aware. Still, she was only hearing about his favoring of her from everyone else and as embarrassing and nerve wracking as it would be, she wanted to know from him. After all, where was the evidence? "How..." She cleared her throat, attempting to force her usual confidence to surface. "How do you know?"

His amazement at her question and the fact that she had allowed the question to escape from her lips to reach his ears, stayed carefully hidden inside him. He thought hard about it and tried to find the best example that wouldn't risk Hope's dignity and pride. Stepping away from the soldier, he walked to the other side of Hope until he was at the boy's right side. He smiled at the fact that Lightning's hand was still over Hope's and knew that this had to be said.

"Well... although I'm sure Cass and Rygdea could tell you so much more", his smile widened at the growl that broke from her throat after he mentioned the two, "but there was this one time where Alyssa was just frustrated as all hell and it was so uncharacteristic of her, so I talked with her." He was chuckling a bit as he spoke. "She said Hope wasn't letting her inside his office and was even giving her some time off. Now, to any other person, that would have been a relief and would have had anyone beaming. But this was Alyssa. She thoroughly enjoyed working at the Academy, with Hope especially. She was also very concerned for her boss since he worked tirelessly all the time and she had never been 'relieved of duty in such a manner' as she put it."

Biting his lip, his eyes scanned over Hope. "So, I went to check it out. Of course, it being shortly after I awoke, he let me in almost instantly, giving me another one of his eager hugs." He laughed a little, grasping the silveret's shoulder as if checking to see that he was really there. Then the seriousness came back to his gaze. "It took a bit of prodding but I got him to tell me what was going on." Smiling at Lightning softly and chuckling at her raised brow, he walked over to the door. "He said he was fine. It was nothing to worry about. I wouldn't hear none of that until he told me the real reason. So he said he was working on something for you." Her eyes tore from Hope to meet Sazh. "He said that he and I woke up. So you could wake up too." The elder man's eyes darkened and he felt his heart clench as he remembered Hope's look of happiness and glee. There was also despair as he knew for sure the reality of the situation; that it could take centuries for her to awaken. "And although he never told me what it was, he said he was going to have it ready for you when you woke up." Putting his hand on the doorknob, ready to leave her in quiet contemplation, he turned back briefly. "The look in his eyes, Lightning... spoke all the words in the world." Her lips parted as she struggled to contain the storm of feelings hitting her.

"Now, I'm gonna go check on Zalera." He left the room as Lightning sat back down, hand now holding onto Hope's with desperation.

Lightning didn't know how long she sat there after that, mind lost in a mess of thoughts. All she knew was that she didn't come back to reality until Hope started to stir.

Faintly, Hope could hear the beeping of a monitor beside him. He felt the sheets that enveloped him and the stale air on his face laced with the unpleasant scent of a hospital. _So that's where I am._ His eyes opened to the dimmed lights of his room, his vision still hopelessly blurry. He felt a warmth on his hand and noticed that it was locked in the strong grip of a calloused hand. His emerald gaze met a figure beside him, but all he could make out was the pink of their hair. Of course that was all he needed to know that it was surely Lightning. "Light?" His vision cleared after a moment and he smiled at the form before him. He felt so much relief to see her alive and at his side. He missed her so much that he wanted to jump up and envelope her in the biggest hug imaginable, but he remained still, taking in every bit of her gorgeous features that marveled him to no end. He finally felt that he was home. But as he stared at her unmoving, seemingly stunned form, guilt rose in him. The memory of his breaking her promise and putting her in danger with Sebastian coming to the forefront of his mind.

Lightning couldn't speak as her eyes bore into his, gaping at him. Once the haziness left him, his expression filled with such delight, but he kept silent as well. His utterance of her name sent a pleasant shiver through her. She felt herself fighting back her own delighted smile until he looked almost scared of her.

"I'm sorry, Light, I-" He stopped as she flew forward, aggressively holding him in a possessive embrace. This rendered Hope completely speechless, but he returned the hug nonetheless. It appeared that this would be how it was with the soldier. Any seemingly intimate act, even as simple as a hug, was sudden and surprising, but welcome all the same. Tears began to form in his eyes as he tried to stop the rushing onslaught of emotions. He couldn't let Lightning see him like this.

Little did he know that she was fighting that same overload of feelings. She was only more experienced at hiding them. Even with this experience though, she was still finding it frustratingly hard to restrain her own relief from spilling down her cheeks.

"Maker, I'm so sorry, Light."

 _I-I'm sorry Hope. I'm the one who broke my promise. I wasn't there to protect you. I didn't even look for you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't leave again. Don't ever leave again._ She said none of this, of course. Her pride wouldn't allow her to. Instead she tried to convey all she could through her hug. The time they stayed wrapped in a tight and soothing embrace remaining unknown to them as all they cared about in those minutes, was each other.

* * *

Rygdea and Amodar sat beside Hope, waiting for him to speak. It had been a couple of hours since he had awoken and it was now time to get to business. He had his warm welcome from Lightning, Sazh, Rygdea, and the general, but they had to talk about what happened to him. Getting Lightning to leave was no easy task and it took Hope asking her himself, pleading with her more like it, to get her to go. She didn't need to know the gory details of what he went through. He didn't want her to know. He'd managed to keep her knowledge of everything to a minimum and he wanted to keep it that way. So now it was just the three of them.

The air in the room became suffocating as he tried to remain calm. Telling them was not going to be easy. Although he was on some heavy medication, just looking at his woulds brought back the pain, the memories. Hell, just closing his eyes brought it back.

"Hope?"

Hope's eyes met Rygdea's as he fought to steady his quaking limbs. "I'm all right", he assured.

Amodar nodded. "Okay, first... how did they abduct you? They got you in the Harleen Cemetery, correct?"

Shifting, he tensed, hoping to find a calm detachment from his emotions as his mentor always could, but it was unbearably hard. "Her name was Castea... their leader. She came out first while I... was at my father's grave. They caught me completely off guard especially as others came out surrounding me. I t-tried to fight back, but they... they were too strong..." Shame took him as his eyes met the bed. All this time, all the training and fighting, and he still couldn't protect himself. Lightning knew it. She still felt the need to protect him all the damn time. He hated to think of what Rygdea thought, his other mentor that taught him how to use a gunblade when Lightning, who he would have preferred to teach him, had been unavailable. And he _had_ to tell him everything.

"And what did they look like", was Amodar's next question.

"She's older, maybe middle aged. She had short blonde hair with... intense gray eyes. Her hair was always slicked back and she wore a white cloak. Those that followed her were all-all that I saw anyway were big burly men with black robes."

Amodar nodded again and Rygdea sat unmoving. His face was devoid of emotion, but his jaw was locked tight and his hands were balled into fists. The general continued. "What happened next?"

Hope heaved a heavy sigh, his eyes roving the room. "I woke up strapped to a stone table." His shaky voice faltered, but he carried on, not wanting to stop for he didn't know if he could continue once he did. "It was a musty, old, giant, stone room with other tables like mine beside me. I didn't find out until later, but I was in the fourth floor of the eighth Ark... When I came over my shock, I found that there was a woman in there with me. Over time, we got to know each other. She told me of the weeks she had spent there with Yeul. She had been her Guardian and felt... that she had failed her." Hope thought back to his time in there with Zalera and remembered that, even before he knew her, he felt comforted by her. Even in just the fact that he was not alone. "We formed a bond and tried to help each other when we could."

When Hope stopped, Amodar sighed. He really didn't want to ask his next question, but he knew his fellow leader felt even more apprehension toward it. "What did they do to you Hope?"

Clenching his teeth, he took a deep breath for what had to have been the billionth time. "They told me it was to bring back my brand. T-t-that I-I was the only one who could... find the crys-... crystals and b-bring back the Maker. That that was what they wanted." Hope ran a hand through his mussed up locks and tugged at it. "They tortured Zalera to get the truth from Yeul. They tortured Yeul to get the crystal locations from her. And they... to me so my brand would come back. All to bring the damn Maker back."

Hope had spoken so fast it had almost been hard to hear and grasp, but Rygdea had. He was now seething with rage that he projected it into his fists. They clenched so tightly that his knuckles turned a ghastly white.

Amodar looked deep into the young man's eyes, silently apologizing for having to push and pry. "What did they do?"

"Fuck... They put Zalera through so much pain. I saw and heard so much-"

"What did they do to you, Hope?"

It was a long while before he spoke. He looked so withdrawn after the minutes ticked by that it scared Rygdea to no end. He hadn't seen that look on the boy in a long time. His dulled voice came a few seconds before Rygdea was about to call out for him.

"I... Sebastian, one of the biggest, burliest of them all was Castea's right hand. He tortured me."

The calvery leader's gaze found the floor as he restrained himself.

"He told me at first that he had battled Light. That the scars around his wrists and neck were from her. He was a l'Cie like the rest of them, a powerful one at that, so it was understandable that he had healed her wounds on him. He said he'd killed her, though." Hope's voice held such grief, such anger, and he knew he was failing to hold his emotions back. "He also told me that he was the one who had personally tortured Yeul and sent her to us. Even healed some of her wounds to assure that she would make it."

Amodar tensed. "What happened to _you,_ Hope?"

"I'm getting there", he snapped. But he soon apologized before carrying on. "Most of the time, I was on that table." The young director looked at his wrists, sickened by the sight. "But when I wasn't I was in a small cell. It was mostly bare... They would slide in a tray of food through a slit in the door." He bit his lip as he knew what he had to say next. He slid his hand over his face, tears now slowly falling. "He... would cut me... and s-stab me... a-a-and burn-and shock m-me... I spent most of my time choking on blood and the rest fighting to stay sane throughout the onslaught of attacks and I-" He gasped, squeezing his eyes shut at his recollection. "And when I wasn't being... even sometimes while I was... she-Zalera, she..." Hope struggled to breathe as the tears fell faster. Rygdea stood and walked over to the shaking young man before sitting beside him and taking him into an embrace. "I could hear her screams and cries. I could hear it all. There was no... I soon f-found myself not sleeping until my body forced me to. I was actually..." He stopped himself there, not wanting them to know the fact that he had actually plead for death.

Amodar waited for Hope to calm down and for Rygdea to peel himself away before moving on. "And how did you escape? How did you get here?"

Hope wordlessly held up his arm, showing off his brand. The moment he'd seen that the fabric no longer clung to his skin and knew that Lightning had seen, he thought he'd almost died. But she had put her hand gently over the terrible tattoo and told him that they would figure it out. Those words, and the small smile she'd given him, caused his heart to soar. The main reason he'd hidden it in the first place was so he could tell Lightning himself. Now, seeing as how she didn't reject him for his l'Cie status in any way and told him she would help, he felt no need to hide it. "Alexander came. He and I, as soon as I found my magic again... some semblance of it... we fought our way to Zalera, got h-her out and got out of the Ark entirely. Who we hadn't killed before, certainly died when the Ark completely came down and caved in. W-we fought through the monsters of Pulse until we fought against a Behemoth King. Then Zalera took a heavy hit and I-" He struggled to keep his new found composure. "I could only heal some of it, my magic is weak and unsteady, so I carried her here."

"Okay." Amodar wrote a few more notes down as he nodded yet again. "And-"

"For Maker's sake, will you let up already?" Rygdea was losing his patience and knew Hope couldn't take much more. He wasn't even sure if he himself could.

"You know full well that I have one more question to ask." His tone held sympathy and a bit of frustration. It was very evident that he didn't like asking the questions anymore than they liked hearing them and answering them. "Were you and Zalera the only ones you knew of held captive in the Ark?"

Hope's brows knitted together at the question. "Yes...? Why?"

"There was no one else?"

"Why are you..." His eyes widened. "Who else got-"

Rydea sighed. "A search team went missing shortly after you were taken. Maqui was there and was the sole survivor left. He said it was a buncha l'Cie who didn't want you found. They threatened to kill everyone on the team if we didn't..."

"Stop looking for me... was there anyon-"

"Olly and Gadot were among those taken", was Rygdea's grave reply.

Hope laid back as shock set in. He hadn't known. He hadn't known at all and now the only people who knew the location of the missing search team and his friends were dead. How were they going to find them now?

* * *

Hildough left the room shortly before Cass entered, a wide grin plastered to his face. "So the stiff ambassador gets to see you before your best friend. Thanks bunches, Hope." They hugged and he chuckled at the apologetic aura that radiated from his companion. He could already hear the multiple apologies coming, but Cass wouldn't let them escape. "Save it, dude, I'm glad you're all right."

 _"_ No, Cass... I..." Hope began nervously twisting his loosening bandage on his arm. "You took over for me and from what I hear..." He glanced at Cass with a small, sad smile. "You did rather well. I wanted to thank you for that and say..."

Cass rolled his eyes. "If this is gonna be one of those mushy little bromance moments, then..." The look he received from Hope was all the answer he needed. "Right, I forgot. It's you." He nudged Hope with his elbow and they chuckled.

"No, I'm just really sorry for freezing you out and... I was just concerned about you. I didn't know what to do and with work and my... dad I just-"

"I get it. And really don't worry about it."

Although Cass held a pretty good poker face, one that could parry Lightning's fairly, Hope knew him too well. He could see just how much he had hurt him and wasn't sure if their friendship could ever return to its same state again.

As a small silence drifted over the room, Cass' everlasting smirk turned somber. "Well, since we're..." He cleared his throat and walked away a few steps, staring at the wall before him. He didn't know how to address the elephant in the room or if he even should. Hope had surely heard his share of apologies and wouldn't need another look filled with pity and sympathy. He most certainly didn't need another person reminding him of his time away. _Especially from me. If only he knew..._ Guilt seeped into him which was soon overcome by rage, but he kept it all back, careful to hide it from his 'best friend'. "Look, I'm gonna get." He turned to Hope with a wave, his cocky grin back in place. "I'm sure Lightning is just dying to get back in here, huh?" Winking at him, Cass left the room.

"Speak of the devil." Cass walked out and right in front of him, leaning against the wall, was a tense Lightning. "I knew you wouldn't be far, but-" His words ceased the moment he received a stern glare from the soldier. She seemed to perk up as her head turned to the right. Moments later, Nivien came around the corner. The teen sighed and walked over to the eager lieutenant, hoping to give her a little talk before she reached her destination. He stepped in front of her with a hand out and was met with a look of confusion and impatience. "Go easy on him, Nivien."

After his words, she looked incredulous. "What-"

"I know you want to find your brother, but Hope doesn't know where he is. And I know you're angry at him for whatever happened between you two," The lieutenant's gaze drifted over to Lightning, who all though seemed to be minding her own business, was easily within earshot. Nivien tried to step around Cass, but he stepped before her again. "...or angry for whatever reason... but he is in pretty bad shape." Nivien's eyes shot back to Cass. Her eyes were watery, but she held her tears locked behind her lids for she swore she wouldn't cry again that day. "You can just look at him and tell they put him through hell. So, I'm just asking that you let everything go for now and just be there for him."

Nivien was about to ask him how bad it was - just what they had put him through exactly. But he carried on.

Cass' gaze turned to the floor and he shifted. "You know, like you used to." With that, he left. He sped away hoping to leave before the conversation turned awkward.

Nivien watched him walk away, dreading the look she'd receive from the sergeant when she turned around. But what was she so afraid of? She shouldn't be afraid of or ashamed to be around Lightning. She was higher in rank, older, more experienced, and had been involved with Hope in a way the roseate had never been. At least to her knowledge. With her head held high, she turned around to face the woman who had been causing her such grief. Only to see that Lightning's eyes were closed, seemingly relaxed. As if the imposing guard had fallen asleep. But Nivien knew better. The sergeant's body was stiff, tense, and ready to strike at any moment. Lightning was probably trying to avoid confrontation with her as much as she was. The lieutenant sighed before walking over to Hope's door and going in.

Lightning opened her eyes as soon as the woman had gone into Hope's room. She was still processing Nivien's and Cass' small exchange in the hallway moments before. She had been concerned about the lieutenant stressing Hope about her brother, but it hadn't occurred to her that even without the worry for a missing Olly, things would still be tense between the two for their previous relationship. Which of course, Lightning didn't want to think about at all, but it was unavoidable. She felt a curious desire to go over to Hope's door and listen to their conversation. She shook her head and rubbed her forehead in frustration. _What the hell?_ She would never do that. Would she? No, she had more respect for Hope than that and would never dream of committing such an invasion of privacy toward him. And she didn't understand why she'd wanted to. She hadn't when Cass was in there or Hildough or the remaining members of the NORA gang. Yes, she had when Rygdea and Amodar were, but that was because she wanted to find out what Hope had been through. Him keeping that from her had been, and still was, tearing her apart. But she couldn't believe the possessiveness she suddenly felt for the young man. She had always been protective, but... this was just... odd and made Lightning feel uneasy.

Incoming footsteps snapped Lightning out of her thoughts and brought her eyes toward their owner. It was Rygdea who had on a wide smile causing Lightning to raise a brow.

"Just came to give Hope the news. Zalera's awake and doing better."

Then there was her. Lightning was unsure of what to think of the woman everyone seemed so concerned about. She didn't know much about her and really, she was a bit suspicious of her. But apparently she'd helped Hope out in some huge ways, so she imagined that she should be grateful toward her. "Has she said anything about the... captivity." Lightning tightened her grip around her arms. She was getting tired of the weakness in her voice every time she spoke about Hope's time away.

Rygdea scratched the back of his neck. "Well, at first she was a tad freaked out and wanted to know where Hope was. I guess they became quite dependent upon each other."

_No kidding. That was like the third thing Hope said after he woke up. 'Where's Zalera?'_

"But after we explained that he was fine and was recovering, she zipped up her trap sayin' she wouldn't say anythin' until she spoke to him. Man, you'd think the woman's almost as stubborn as you." He chuckled nervously at her raised brow. "I said almost."

A loud crash sounded from around the corner following the loud, demanding voice that sounded slightly Pulsian. "I don't care. You better get the hell outta my way before I beat your ass."

"Ah, hell. I told her to stay put."

As soon as Rygdea said that, a young woman came into view in a hospital gown on shaky legs. She had long, waist length green hair threaded with multicolored beads. Her eyes were about as green as her hair and almost matched the vivid color of Hope's. An abundance of freckles were scattered across her nose and cheekbones. The soldier was curious though by the fact that the woman didn't seem to have a third of the injuries her friend had. A guard walked beside her, frustration written on his face as he attempted to stop the determined woman. A doctor was on her other side pushing a wheelchair to which the warrior looked at with distaste.

Rygdea ran toward her, his hand threading through his hair in stress. "What on Pulse are you-"

"Don't even try it", she yelled with a serious ferocity that made Lightning's eyebrows raise in surprise. "I'm not some invalid, you ass hole. I don't need to lay bedridden like some worthless victim and I most certainly am not being carted around in a damn chair." She pushed her way through the men blocking her path towards Hope's room, wincing at the pain in her side.

"You're going to rip open your stitches", yelled the doctor worriedly as he left the wheelchair abandoned behind him.

Lightning bit her lip as she felt her chest tighten a bit. The woman reminded her of Fang and she almost instantly took a liking toward Zalera. A feat that only the now crystal Pulsian had been able to accomplish. "Why don't you all get out of her way. It's obvious she has a place to be and all you're doing is making her trek worse and more laborious", spoke Lightning as the group drew near.

They all stopped, even the emerald haired woman. She smirked in response and straightened herself up before walking in Lightning's direction. She soon stood before the soldier, looking her up and down.

Lightning did the same and noticed not only how tall the Pulsian was, being probably at least an inch above Hope's new astonishing height, but she was very well toned and muscular. She certainly had the body, stance and will of a warrior.

"Well, you must be the great Lightning Farron." She bowed her head to the younger woman, grinning at the furrowed brow she received. "You couldn't have thought that in spending months with the kid, I wouldn't have heard all about you." Lightning frowned and shifted in response. "Thanks for that, by the way. They are impossible." She turned and went into Hope's room.

Rygdea huffed and gave the door a glare as if Zalera were still standing there. Lightning held back a laugh. "I like her already."

The man gave her an inquiring look in return, but she said nothing further. "Well, anyway..." He sighed. "Amodar wants to speak with you. We'll be having a meeting in the kid's room shortly, but he wanted to see you about something beforehand." A conflicted gaze came over the young woman's features. It was subtle, but Rygdea knew just what it was about. She was trying to decide between her duty to Hope and her duty to Amodar. "Don't worry, girl, it won't take long and I'll be here to guard him." A dubious look came over her before a glare set in with a growl. She stomped away muttering something about the use of the word 'girl'. This only caused the man to guffaw at her retreating form.

* * *

Lightning found the man in the waiting room not too far away. Although she didn't want to leave Hope's side for anything, she wanted to speak with Amodar. Since Hope had returned, she imagined that he would soon be going back to work and she wondered if she would still be kept on guard duty. Obviously since he had had guards before this, he would have them now. But since the vicious l'Cie were dead, as she had heard, she was anxious to know if her presence was still needed at the director's side.

That was another thing that had occupied her mind as she had been kept out of Hope's room. She had reflected on Hope's role; being devoted to his job and his duty. This had led her to think about her own role, her own duty, which until Hope had gone missing, had been a mystery to her. Without Serah to protect, without a life mission to accomplish, she had felt purposeless. But now she knew. Lightning finally found her purpose in this new world. She would be devoted to him. She would now protect him with all she had.

Determination settled inside her as she approached Amodar. "Sir." She stood and saluted in greeting.

"At ease, sergeant", he said chuckling. He was about to speak again but took note of the seriousness of Lightning's face. "Something up, Farron?"

"Well, sir, I was just wondering if I..." She trailed off as her eyes met the floor.

But the general had a suspicion as to what she wanted to ask and it was the reason he had sent for her in the first place. "You would like to remain in your position as the director's personal guard?" Shock came over Lightning at his intuition and he saw it instantly. "I think it's a wonderful idea and I have no qualms. I was about to suggest it myself, really. But you'll have to check with Estheim before it's official, though I can't imagine the young man having a problem with it." He smiled as the soldier before him slowly recovered and thanked him. "Of course, now we have a meeting to get to. Let's get going."

* * *

The room was quiet for the first few minutes. An uncomfortable and almost unnerving silence surrounded them, choking Hope as he tried to find a way to get the meeting going and over with. They were all in his hospital room, sitting and standing around. There was him, Sazh, Lightning, Amodar, Rygdea, Hildough and Zalera. They all had a purpose there and had their own part in the impending conversation. What each of their roles were, Hope was unsure. But he was glad to have his friends and family with him nonetheless.

"Well", started Rygdea. "I know we all wanna make this quick so our director here can get some much deserved rest."

"Right." Amodar sat forward in his chair. "The first topic I suggest we speak about, is the future of the crystal mission." The faces of those around him all darkened. "I know we all have a lot invested in this, but I'm concerned about the potential risks and-"

"If I may, General", interjected Hope. He sat up with a grim look on his face. "I think..." He cleared his throat and was careful to keep his gaze from all others in the room. "I know that this whole mission was my idea and I was completely set to do all I could to make sure that it was successful, but I don't think that it is wise to continue it."

Sazh looked up and tried to find Hope's eyes with his, but was unsuccessful. "But Hope, this could-"

Hope sighed. He knew Sazh would have been made aware, in his absence, that the mission, if successful, could wake his son. And it was one of the reasons he'd dreaded having this conversation. "I'm sorry, Sazh, but I won't do it."

Amodar smiled softly. "I agree. Why don't you explain your reasoning though, Director."

Hope swallowed thickly. "All of this apparently, if... Castea was correct, depends on me and my ability to control my powers. Say I was able to find the crystals and successfully put them together. Say that all of Castea's group really died in that cave and none of them came after me or the crystal, which none of us can be sure about. Say that it was safe from all opposing forces. What if I'm not able to control the crystal's power? I'm supposedly the only one and-" Hope's emerald eyes drifted over to Zalera's matching ones filled with concern and sympathy. "and the destined one who can bring back the Maker. I could potentially kill off everyone on the planet and not even mean to." Hope's internal distress on the issue began to leak into his voice.

Lightning felt her heart sink. The prospect of having to wait for her sister to wake becoming reality. But she understood. She understood every bit of Hope's doubts and nervousness and she could only agree with him. She was about to put a hand on his shoulder or give him some form of reassuring, soothing gesture, but Zalera beat her to it as she put her hand over his. Lightning furrowed her brow at the contact and the ease that seemed to fall over Hope in its wake, but said nothing.

Zalera raised her head. "I know you all don't know me and I know it may not be easy to trust me, but know that Hope has every right to fear the crystal's power. I doubt, even though I know of Hope's great strength with magic, I doubt he could control it. Yeul had seen many futures in her visions and many, very prominent, very real ones, were of Hope ending all life on this planet and bringing back Buinivelze. It would be idiotic and dangerous to tempt fate by going after the crystal shards."

Hope smiled and squeezed Zalera's hand. He had been surprised by the strength and steadiness of her words as she'd spoken of Yeul. It couldn't have been easy on her. He was very proud and glad that he had some back-up.

Rygdea nodded. "So do we all agree?"

Everyone in the room soon nodded in confirmation. Even Sazh, though he didn't appear completely accepting of it.

Hildough wrote down a few notes in his notebook before turning to Amodar and saying, "Sir, the last bit?"

"Yes, okay." Amodar glanced at Hope's wrist. "We only have one more thing pressing to discuss. That brand of yours, Hope, and your new l'Cie status."

Hope's appeased gaze turned solemn as it dropped to his left forearm. "What... What about it?"

Rygdea stood and put his hands on his hips. "We think you should keep it hidden."

The young man's head shot up. "No way."

His obstinate stance was shocking to the rest of those in the room. They all thought for sure that it was the best option, and thought Hope would agree.

Lightning was the first to ask about it. "Why, Hope? It would keep you safe and... it's no one's business but ours what happened to you whe-"

"No, Light." All eyes went to him. It was rare when Hope would disagree with Lightning of all people, but he seemed set in his decision. "I don't want to keep secrets from the public. We all know how that goes. We've all been victims of it as well. I will not keep this from them. I have a duty to my people and I will not lie to them." He expected the first one to yell at him to be Lightning. And she was furious. It seemed to her that all he wanted was to put himself in danger. But no. It was Rygdea who was ready to kick his ass.

"You can't be serious?" Hope's stunned and slightly scared eyes darted toward the fuming man. "Do you know what this could do? How many people are still afraid of l'Cie? Hell there's a whole city of people that didn't want to even associate with the families of previous l'Cie. You don't think they might take up arms and come gunning for you, Hope?" He sighed and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "I won't let you do this. I swore to your father that I'd watch over you and this is just suicide. One assassination attempt wasn't enough for you?"

Hope didn't dare bring up the attempts Castea had mentioned and neither did Zalera.

At that, Amodar stood. "I think that's enough, Rygdea."

But he kept going. "I can't even- How many more people do you want to lose?"

Amodar put his hand around the distraught man's arm. "Rygdea, stop." The calvary leader shook him off.

"What if someone came after you again, huh? What if you survived yet again because of more people risking their lives. What if it were more guards or Nivien or Sazh or me or... hell even Lightning? What would you do then, I-" He stopped abruptly as Lightning stepped forward and swiftly kicked him in the gut.

"You're not helping anyone", she yelled. She glared down at the man now on the floor taking large gulps of breath. Glancing in Hope's direction, she saw the lost, depressed expression that had captured his previously determined face. It made her ache seeing him in that state.

Rygdea growled. "Fine." He stood and yelled in her face. A dangerous move as you can imagine. "You talk some sense into the kid then. I don't know how you see it, but to me, it looks like he's gonna get himself killed. I won't stand for it." He left the room, still filled with rage. Amodar saluted as he followed his irritated associate.

Hildough stopped mid-step and turned to Hope. "I am glad you are back, my friend." Hope, snapping out of his slump, smiled back. "I respect your decision and wish you the best. Stay safe, Director."

After Hildough left, Sazh sighed. "I disagree, but I know you won't budge on this." He left as well, trying to make peace with the fact that the crystal mission was shut down.

This left Zalera and Lightning on opposite sides of a flustered and now unsure Hope. "Zalera?" She looked down and caught Hope's gaze. "Could you give us some time to talk?"

Zalera smiled and nodded. "I should probably get some rest. Who knows what I've done to myself getting over here, but I'm glad you're okay." She patted his hand. "And thank you. Thank you for rescuing me time and time again. You have no idea how much you've done for me." After mussing up his hair, as many did in an affectionate gesture, she left the room.

Leaving the wall, Lightning sat beside Hope. The guilt settled in again. He wanted to leave the brand conversation, but what did that leave him with? The string of apologies he had yet to give her? How could he convey to her how impossibly sorry and regretful he was at disobeying her? At leaving her? At putting her in danger? "I'm so sorry, Light."

Knowing that he was avoiding the previous topic and falling into their old one, Lightning sighed. "No, Hope. I'm sorry." She looked up briefly to meet his confused gaze before her eyes turned to her folded hands resting on her knees. "I should have been there and I should have.. protected you."

"Light, you have to know that it wasn't your fault." He could see the grief and despair inside her. He couldn't believe that she blamed herself for his mistake.

"I left-"

"Let me finish." Hope sat up, putting his hands over hers, effectively bringing her eyes to his. " _I_ left. I _chose_ to leave with no protection, without notifying anyone. It was _my_ fault. And mine alone."

Her gaze then quickly turned from apologetic to hurt. "Why did you do it, Hope? You promised me that you would stay." A bit of anger flashed within her, but she tried to stomp it out.

"I'm sorry. I left because... b-because I-" This time, it was his eyes that fell away.

But Lightning was not about to let it drop and the anger grew. "Because what? What was so damn important that you risked your life again?"

Not bringing his eyes up, Hope tightened his grip on her hands. "I found a letter from my father."

Lightning gasped and the growing fury suddenly went out as if it had never been there. That was definitely not an answer she was anticipating. "I-"

"I found it and read it. It was a letter he... wrote me in case... he died." His speech was broken, but understandable. "I felt that I just had to see him... but- I'm so sorry, Light!" A few tears slipped through and he hated himself for crying in front of Lightning of all people. "I remembered my promise to you and I-I made a conscious decision to break it. I can't even tell you how so-"

"I understand, Hope."

Her calm and even tone brought Hope's tears to an immediate halt. "How could you, I-"

"You missed your father and I know that grief makes you do..." She gave him a stern look, but held a slight smile. "...stupid things. I forgive you, but... know that I'm not leaving your side again."

"What?"

"As I'm sure you've heard, I was appointed the director's, Cass', personal guard in your... absence."

Hope smirked. "And I'm sure that was a bit of a challenge. Being around Cass all the time."

Lightning scowled at him, but he kept his grin in place until her glare faltered and she turned her gaze to the wall. "I spoke with Amodar and, with your permission, I will stay on as your guard. I will be there to protect you."

And now, it was Hope's expression that faltered. "Why do you want to?"

"What?"

"Why do you feel like it's your job to protect me?" He pulled his hands from hers. "You've made it clear that I'm not a child. I'm not weak. I have plenty of others set to protect me. So why?"

"Because I have to." She made to stand but stopped. Leaving his side was the exact opposite of what she wanted to do. Even if the conversation got awkward or unbearable... she would stay. "I don't have anyone else. Serah was all I had. The one thing I had to do was protect her, fight for her... and now... All I have is you." Her cerulean orbs found his shocked green. "I will not lose you. I... I care about you far too much." He didn't say anything and it unnerved her. The silence that soon hung over them strangled her and she wanted it to end. "I will protect you. I promise you I'll protect you at any cost."

Hope gave her a sweet smile accompanied by watery eyes before another look of determination came over him. "You don't have to promise me that, Light. I don't want you to promise me that. Because any cost would include your life and that's a cost I could never live with."

Lightning smiled at him, a very wide smile that only diminished with time, which surprised both of them. They both fell into a state of ease and his hands found hers yet again. They stayed like that, in a companionable silence until Hope fell asleep. Lightning then disentangled her hands from his grip, somewhat sadly and sat back, once again astonished by how relaxed just having him beside her made her.

As she sat, waiting for sleep to take her, she took out Hope's bandana that never left her side. She felt a tad bitter, for she knew she would have to return it soon. Once again, she traced the patterns until she dozed off, one last thing going through her mind. _I won't let anything take you away again. I swear it._


	13. Resilience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't want to burden you either."

Drawing in a deep breath, Hope focused all of his energy, all of his being, into his magic. He held his hand shakily over his last injury, one of the gashes on his arm, until he felt the warm caress of his healing powers take all remnants of his wound away. Smiling at the sight of his now bare skin, Hope let out a sigh of contentment. _I guess having my brand back isn't all that bad-_

"You really shouldn't do that, you know?" Lightning stood before him now and realized, with his startled look before her, that he must not have noticed her enter. "You need to be careful. You have to watch your strength."

Her eyes held such worry and fear. She came over to Hope and pressed the back of her hand against his forehead to make sure his previous fever had dissipated. This caused the young man to roll his eyes. Gently, he took her hand from his head and squeezed it. "I'm fine, Light. Don't worry about it. It's only a few healing spells. And look," he gestured to his arm and neck, "all gone. Everything's all healed. No more injuries." Smiling brightly, he hoped to convey to her that all was well.

 _Yeah, all physical injuries..._ She had to admit, he was looking healthier. Even without his unnatural healing, he seemed to be getting better. But even so, she could tell that there was a lot of lasting damage. Her silent observations told her as much. The way silence would carry his mind into a place that caused his body to shudder. How his eyes looked off into the distance as if the world were to shatter in an instant. How sometimes a nurse's, a friend's, or even her own touch would cause him to jump, a bone chilling fear overcoming him for the smallest of moments. "Just don't overdo it. I still don't agree with you being discharged so soon." Lightning frowned at the thought. Yes, the soldier thoroughly hated hospitals, but if anything were to go wrong it was the best place for Hope to be. Other than at her side, of course.

Shaking his head, he got out of bed on wobbly legs. The last of his medication was leaving him drowsy and his limbs numb. Lightning, like her self-appointed namesake, was by his side to keep him steady. "Everything's okay. I've healed all of my injuries, so there's nothing that they can help me with anymore. Me laying here is only sucking up space, time, and money. I will not burden these people any longer." Sliding out of her grasp, he went to retrieve his bag of clothes. He sighed as he gripped the handle. "Are you sure about this personal guard thing?" Hope stayed with his back turned toward her, eyes finding a new interest in the fraying handle in his hands. He hoped the question didn't hurt her, he just didn't want her in danger because of him.

"Of course I am. I thought..." She growled. Weakness. That was all she'd been showing in the past few days and she was getting sick of it. "I thought, of all people, you would want-"

"Of course I do," interrupted Hope, dropping his bag and putting his hands on her shoulders. "I just..." Biting his lip, he wasn't sure how to phrase it. "I don't want to burden you either." His eyes searched her, finding nothing. After a few moments of silence, he was sure he had offended her in some way. He retreated to the bathroom with his bag in hand as he saw that she wasn't going to reply.

Lightning's stoicism stayed out of pure will. It defied all emotions at that moment. _I don't want to burden you..._ It was something Serah had once told her, years ago. Something that had made the elder sister's heart clench and now the words were even more painful. _A burden, Hope? That's what you think you are?_ And she had stood there and let him think it. She put her palm to her forehead, getting increasingly tired of disappointing herself and Hope. _See! I'm terrible at this. Helping people, comforting people... I'm not built for it.  
_

Hope stepped out in his usual uniform. He stood confused before Lightning. She was in the same spot he left her in and she seemed to be completely lost in thought, an uncharacteristically pained expression on her.

Lightning noticed a split second before he reached out for her that he had rejoined her in his room. "Hope... Hope you're not a burden." She glanced at him tentatively before turning away and grabbing her holstered gunblade from beside Hope's bed. "Don't ever say something like that again," Lightning demanded.

Hope's brow furrowed at his friend's stern and oddly angry tone. "I want you safe. Being around me-"

"One: telling someone who wants to protect you that being around you is dangerous, will only make them want to stay near you and protect you more." He smiled sheepishly and chuckled, hand rubbing the back of his neck. "Two: My job is unsafe. If I weren't guarding you, I'd be off fighting monster after monster, being the soldier I am. Guarding you is probably going to be quite boring in comparison." A small smile tugged at her lips as she neared him. His uneasiness was slowly fading and she was proud of herself for being the one to relieve him of it. As she continued, she put her hand gently on his arm. "Three: I want you safe too. Don't think of this as a job for me. This is is me being there for someone I care for."

A stunned look overcame him as he looked to his mentor in awe. It wasn't like her to say such emotionally revealing things and she had been doing it so often lately. It seemed that, even with his time away from her, she was still coming out of her shell and Hope loved it. "Okay. I won't say another word about it."

As she watched him walk away, she noticed his newly attained attire. "Don't think you're going back to work today."

"Compromise?" He turned his face so he could see her from the corner of his eye. Seeing Lightning in a rigid stance with her arms crossed was no surprise. He knew what her answer would be and he knew he wouldn't be up to battle her on it today.

"Not a chance, Estheim," she answered, slight amusement in her tone. Things were already reaching normalcy and she liked it. However, whenever there was pleasantness, horrible events soon followed.

Hope turned around, stuffing the last of his things in his bag and grinned at her. "That's Director Estheim to you, Sergeant."

Lightning frowned and flicked him on the forehead as he neared. He laughed, the sweet sound flooding her ears. _Goddess, I missed this._ They walked out of the room, but as Lightning went to walk down the hall, she felt an arm wrap around her waist and direct her down a different path. Seeing Hope as the owner of the invading appendage, the soldier relaxed somewhat, but was ready to hiss at him. If someone hadn't interrupted, of course.

"Hiding your girl from me, Director?" The two turned to see a man walking towards them, a wide smirk on his face. He was about Lightning's height and wore an overly expensive blue suit with a few gold rings on his left hand. His rust colored hair was slicked back, greasy and unappealing.

Hope clicked his tongue as his arm left Lightning's waist. "No, just trying to save your face from its impending pain."

The man laughed softly. "Is that a threat, my dear friend? Your words wound me."

Lightning's brow rose. It was easy to see that for as friendly as the man wanted to be perceived, he was definitely not friends with Hope. Even if Hope had been able to hide his agitation with the man, Lightning could see the stranger's hostility in his eyes.

"Oh, no, not a threat. A warning." Hope glanced in Lightning's direction. He knew the guy and knew it was only a matter of time before he hit on her. Which also meant it was only a matter of time before he was seeing stars.

The man followed the director's eyes toward the soldier beside him. "And who is this gorgeous vision?" He went for her hand which slid out of his grasp almost as quick as he had taken it, causing Hope to grin.

"Sergeant Lightning Farron," declared Lightning. "And you are?" Before the irritating man could answer, Hildough came around the corner and into view.

"Ah, there you are, Waynes. Slipped right out of my sight." Hildough came up beside the man, disgruntled and winded. "Terribly sorry, Director. It is good to see you doing well and I imagine you would like to continue on your way," he began pulling Waynes back to where they came, "so we will just be going now."

Smiling, Waynes pulled out of his grip. "But we were having such a pleasant conversation. And I just met the most beautiful young woman."

Lightning crossed her arms and took a small step back from the man as he came closer. She wanted to knock his lights out, but felt that the action would be a tad excessive. That and the fact that Hope was keeping her strangely calm with his hand currently at the small of her back, rubbing easy circles into it.

Hildough stepped in front of the man invading Lightning's personal space. "We should be going. You have a plane to cat-"

"Yes. Yes, of course." Waynes sighed. "It was great, as always, to see you, Director." They shook hands, Hope giving him a small, forced smile. "And it was simply wondrous to make your acquaintance, Miss Farron."

He held out his hand before her with which she looked at with disgust. She was ready to bark at the man, but Hope stepped in, seeing her ready to attack. "It's _Sergeant_ Farron and I'm sure it was."

Waynes retracted his hand with a chuckle, soon following after Hildough.

Letting out a relieved sigh, Hope turned to Lightning. "Well, that was... what?" She didn't look pleased.

"I don't need you stepping in to handle things for me." More than a little peeved, she grabbed Hope's bag from his hands and continued in their original direction. "And who the hell was that guy?"

Quickly rejoining Lightning's side, he eyed his bag in her hands, wondering if he could reclaim it. The questioning expression he'd given her soon turned downcast by Lightning's tight grip and dismissive glance. "He's the Hildough of Sanctum City, though, much slimier as you must've noticed. Alder Waynes is their representative... but he doesn't usually come out here," spoke Hope putting a hand to his chin as a perplexed expression came over him. "It's usually Hildough that goes over there."

* * *

Dornum drove Hope and Lightning to the Estheim residence. It was a short and peacefully quiet ride. At least, that would be how it appeared. The quiet led Hope's thoughts back into his days in the Ark. As he stared out the window, expression completely blank, he heard the faint screaming of Zalera again. The smell of rancid vomit reached his nose causing his throat to dry. He could feel the cold metal of Sebastian's favorite tool slicing into his skin and taste a bitter saltiness as his tears reached his lips. He could see his own blood beginning to leak off of the table and splatter on the stone floor beneath it before his eyes searched for something-anything that could take his mind off of the blade that was tearing through his abdomen.

Lightning watched him. She knew there was something terrible going on inside that head of his and it caused her tremendous worry. During the silent car ride, she had noticed a subtle disturbance come over him and she couldn't help her own mind that ran astray, imagination plagued with thoughts of what he could be remembering. At some point, his lip began to quiver and his hands slowly balled into fists as he was surly attempting to stop the shaking from spreading throughout his body. Noticing this, the pinkette slowly took his hand in hers and squeezed it. _You're here, Hope. You're home. With me._

As he felt the contact, Hope jumped, suddenly roused from his torturous mind. He squeezed his eyes shut as the last remnants of his torment fell away, leaving him in his car with his driver and Lightning. _Light._ The young man looked over toward her and saw the small smile she tried to give him, but he could also see the strain of worry etched into her features. He squeezed back, once again trying to fool her into thinking he was all right.

They stared into each other's eyes for the following seconds, hands clasped tightly together as if neither of them ever wanted to let go. Seconds turned to minutes. Minutes could have very well turned to hours for they continued to be consumed by the other's captivating eyes, soft touch, and the slowly diminishing space between them. So lost in each other they were, that they hadn't noticed the car come to a stop before their destination.

Dornum cleared his throat. "We're here, sir."

Their hands quickly fell back to their sides as the two took in their surroundings. Apparently they'd been sitting in front of Hope's house for quite some time. Hope blinked, trying to regain his composure. Hearing a knock on his window, he looked and found Zalera standing just outside the door, a smirk on her face.

"You're blushing," Zalera teased as her friend exited the car. The comment earned her a small, ineffective glower from him to which she just smiled. Glancing at the cause of Hope's pink cheeks getting out on the other side, Zalera noticed there being a soft pink dusting Lightning's face as well. "You aren't the only one." Before she could see his expression, she turned and walked back up to Hope's door, now adorned by a guard on each side. "I was dropped off a while ago. They told me there was something you wanted to speak with me about?" She turned, waiting for the two lovebirds to collect themselves and let her in.

"Yes, but, uh... let's get inside, okay?" Hope felt like a stranger entering his own home. It was true that with his heavy work load, the silveret rarely made it home, but he never spent more than a couple weeks away. Now, stepping into the foyer, he felt oddly out of place, yet completely relaxed. Despite his long time away, this was his home.

"So, where am I staying," Lightning asked.

Hope's brows furrowed as he contemplated the meaning to her question. "What?"

"I am your _personal guard_. I'm staying by you. Therefore, I'll be living here... with you."

It made sense, but that still didn't stop the slight bewilderment in him at her simple statement. "Um," he spun around to face her, "does that mean that you..." He trailed off as he put the pieces together. _Oh no..._ A lopsided grin slowly appeared on his face as he staved off laughter.

The man's expression was met with a confused Zalera and a ruffled Lightning who soon glared back at him. "Yes, I've been staying at the little punk's place," she grumbled.

Biting back a laugh, Hope could see in his mind's eye a very disgruntled Lightning sitting in Cass' tiny, messy apartment and it wasn't pretty. Relieving himself of the visual, he led the way through the house, giving them a slight tour. "Well, on the right is the family room with the kitchen beside it."

Lightning's eyes widened seeing the large kitchen with various appliances and utensils littering the counters, as if it were a professional chef's home. _A shame I'm a terrible cook._

"And across from them on our left is the bathroom and then my room. The sliding door there, beside the stairs, leads to the backyard and the garden."

"Garden?" Lightning found it interesting that the home which was quite big for two people would have a garden tended by two workaholics. _Well, one now..._

Hope smiled bashfully as he ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, my mom used to love gardens and she missed having one after we moved to Palumpolum. Anyway, I take care of it when I can. Guess I took after my mom with the green thumb. At least that's what my dad used to say. This whole house was designed from what we knew of what my mom wanted in a house." A solemn look soon followed his explanation, but he quickly brightened up, trying to stay upbeat. Turning back around, the three ascended the winding staircase that came up into the next room. "As you probably guessed, this is the library." The room was spacious and grand. Enormous oak bookcases lined with books stood tall, covering all of the wall space in the room. The north wall, however, was one giant window that looked over the front of the house, the last of the sun shimmering in through the clear glass.

"That's... a safety hazard," spoke Lightning as she took a small step towards it.

"It's bulletproof," chimed Hope as he turned away, continuing with showing off the rest of the house. "On the right is the art room and my father's-or-I guess... my office." He cleared his throat and soon bit his lip. "On the left is the master bedroom, the bathroom and I guess Light will be taking the guest bedroom there." He pointed it out to her and she followed him into it. There was a queen sized canopy bed with a deep red comforter and matching curtain. The plush carpeting was a nice cream color that accompanied the deep, cherry oak wood walls. There was a cherry oak side table, dresser, and vanity that matched the bed's frame, completing the set. "I hope it suits you. We can make some adjustments if you-"

"It's nice." Lightning brought her hand over the comforter to feel its velvety smoothness. Truthfully, she felt it was too much for her taste. It was a beautiful room, but too fancy.

"And..." Hope exited the room, the women soon trailing behind. He went to two glass doors and opened them to reveal a large wooden deck that looked out over the back yard and gave a breathtaking view of Pulse. There was a covered grill against the house and a small garden swing that sat just off to the side.

Zalera peeked over the edge of the railing to look into the back yard. "Wow, Hope."

Lightning found herself joining the warrior and was soon in a small state of awe herself. There was a massive lush garden below them with tons of various flowers, bushes, and small trees. There were small vegetable patches and even a quaint pond with a stone rim surrounding it.

"I didn't think I'd be seeing much nature in the city." Zalera looked over the scene in amazement. It seemed that everything she had been told within Yeul's tribe about Cocoon and its inhabitants were quickly being proven wrong. Not that she was particularly surprised. She had heard very different things by her parents.

Within the Farseer group, Fara, the eldest and wisest of their tribe, had always told them of the fools of the world above.

_"They're heathens", the woman would say. "They care not for our wise deities, but only for their mini gods that feed, shelter, and protect them. The folk in that sphere know nothing of the true struggles in life. They are happy on their tethers and leashes as long as they are provided with their manufactured, processed goods and newfangled gadgets. Reliance on the fal'Cie is all they will ever know. But not us. We provide for ourselves. We appreciate the world around us, its nature and its creatures, and most importantly, the great beings who created all of this."_

Fara was always thought to be all knowing, especially to the youth of their tribe. Cocoon was a common topic to which she only spoke of with disgust and in the most derogatory fashion. She once said that their world held no wildlife, none at all. They were deprived of the beauty of nature and wouldn't know a flower if they saw one, therefore, they held no appreciation for the outdoors and would have no place on Pulse.

Apparently, the woman who had been known as a teacher of all subjects, was nothing but a storyteller. These people, former occupants of Cocoon, were much stronger, much smarter, and much more in tune with life and the hardships and beauty of Pulse than the old woman had ever given them credit for.

Bouncing on the balls of his feet and hugging his middle as a chill came over him, Hope sighed. "Yeah, my own little sanctuary, I guess. Anyway, the top floor is the attic." His hand gestured up to the last floor with little interest, his mind preoccupied with the upcoming topic of their next conversation. "We should get inside so we can talk."

After a few minutes, Zalera and Lightning sat in the family room while Hope put on some tea in the kitchen. When Hope rejoined them, the green-haired woman looked to him with curiosity. "What is it you wanted to talk with me about?"

Hope sat in the recliner across from the two women on the couch. His posture was rigid and his eyes drifted over the room as he considered how to approach the conversation. "How are you?"

The woman knitted her brow as she crossed her legs, dropping her bag in front of her, chakrams still tied onto its front straps.

Lightning looked at the weapons curiously. It wasn't often that you met someone who chose to fight with chakrams. They were of a shiny steel, seemingly well kept and the eight spikes were extremely sharp. It seemed the Pulsian really adored the color green since along with her green knee length skirt, green skin-tight tank, green hair and green eyes, the inner rim of her weapons were also a shiny green.

Zalera took a few moments to consider his question. Physically, she was fine. Thanks to Hope, she didn't have to spend weeks with stitches holding together her side. Only a day after waking up, he'd insisted on healing her before even touching any of his own wounds. Emotionally, that was a whole different story. But no one else needed to know that. "I'm all right, as all right as can be expected. Why?" Her gaze turned wary as she searched his eyes.

Shifting due to his increasing uneasiness, the young man pursed his lips. "I, uh... first of all, how did you find your accommodations at the Academy base? Were they okay, or..."

"The room was fine."

"Well, um..." An overwhelming silence filled the room as his confidence waned. He was completely unsure of how to move the conversation onward. "Well, since Lightning is already staying here... I do have another free room if it would suit you be-"

"It's perfectly fine, Hope. The room is nice and I don't want to intrude." A smirk played across her lips as she glanced at Lightning who gave her a disconcerted look in return. "But I feel like you're avoiding the real question here. What is it that you really-" The woman was cut off by the loud screech of the kettle in the kitchen.

The silveret stood, silently thanking the Maker for the small disruption from their conversation to give him a little more time for his approach. He made his way to the kettle, ignoring the baffled looks the women held, and set up a tray to serve his guests. As he was readying to leave the kitchen, Hope grabbed one last spoon from the silverware drawer. While he was shutting it, though, he could have sworn he heard something. Like a voice.

_"Hope."_

Quickly spinning around, eyes jittering from place to place, he searched for someone in the room. His heart pounded harshly in his chest and his hand tightened unconsciously around the spoon as he recognized the voice. _It sounded like..._

_"Miss me yet, Hope?"_

His eyes widened. It couldn't be. Palms starting to sweat and heartbeat now drumming in his ears, Hope found his body reacting to the words. Fear began to course through him. He knew that voice. _No. Get a grip. It's nothing. It's just like in the car and the hospital. You went through an extremely traumatic event and it's just haunting you, is all. You just have to work through it. It's all in your head._

As his mind began to calm, his body followed suit. His heart no longer felt like it was trying to break through his ribs, the slight tremor running through his limbs ceased, and his hold on the spoon loosened. But as he turned to go bring his attention back to his original task, the young man caught sight of the utensil. It was now oddly bent in the middle and in a right angle. Baffled for a brief few seconds, Hope stared at it before figuring out what must've happened. In his fear and with the lack of control over his powers he must have conjured up a fire spell. While he blindly searched for the voice's owner, the concentrated energy was focused into the spoon, bending the metal. He really needed to be more careful.

"You okay in there," Lightning called from the family room, sounding a little concerned, if not a bit agitated.

Hope smirked at the familiar tone and pinched the bridge of his nose. _Just freaking myself out_ _with imaginary voices. Nothing to worry about._ "Yeah, I'm coming!" Quickly throwing the damaged spoon away and grabbing a new one, _that is going to remain in its current shape_ , he snatched up the tray. He was just a few steps shy of exiting the room before that all too familiar voice spoke again.

_"You can't get rid of me that easily, darling."_

Lightning and Zalera bolted from their seats as they heard a crash from the kitchen. As they neared the room, Lightning called to Hope but it seemed he didn't hear her. The tray, previously holding the kettle, cups, cream, sugar, etc, was now shattered and splattered on the floor at his feet. The young man stood frozen solid before them, face having paled considerably. "Hope? Hope, what happened?" He didn't respond and her own fear heightened. "Answer me." His eyes had a distant look and though she stood inches before him, eye to eye, she knew he didn't see her. She reached out for him but was stopped.

The warrior reached for Lightning's arm to halt her. She knew there was something wrong with the kid and that it most definitely had to do with the Ark. "Touching him will only make it worse." Lightning's eyes burned into hers with fury. Surely the soldier was pissed with her for stopping her. _Well, to Lightning, I'm a complete stranger. She's probably thinking that she knows how to handle this because she's known him longer and knows him better._ "Trust me, if-"

Lightning ignored her and grabbed onto his shoulder, shaking him. "Hope?"

Inhaling sharply and blinking, Hope was finally freed from his mind. "Sorry, I was just..." Avoiding any eye contact, he knelt down and began fumbling to pick up the mess he had made.

Lightning sighed. She didn't know what was going on with him or how she could possibly help. This was obviously another product of his torture and she wanted nothing but to ease all of this away. But she couldn't, could she? Bending down to help him clean, she tried to meet his gaze, but he was intent at keeping it locked on the floor.

Finding that the three needed to get around this little catastrophe, Zalera hopped back into their original conversation. "I think it's safe to say that chatting over tea is out. What did you want to talk about?" Still avoiding her prying eyes, he bit his lip and continued to pick up the shattered pieces of the cups. "Okay, that's it. You get all squirmy every time we even go near the conversation and I want to know. Spit it out."

A loud sigh fell from his lips as he ceased his actions. "Would you like to see Yeul?"

* * *

"Thank you, Dr. Torkin," spoke Hope as they walked into the Guardian Corps morgue.

"Of course. I'm happy to be of assistance." The man then scampered over to the proper drawer containing Yeul's body. He opened the drawer, but before he could pull back the sheet, Hope grabbed his wrist, urgently enough to stop him, but light enough to be polite.

"Could you give us a few minutes?"

The balding man's hand fell back to his side. "Right. I'll just be right outside," he replied, eager to please.

After the man left the room, Hope looked over to the two women standing just inside the door. Lightning stood with her arms crossed, eyes dancing around the room, seeming uncomfortable and uneasy. Zalera, though, stood completely still, unmoving, her eyes pinned to the open drawer. Hope stepped toward the emerald haired woman. "Zalera? Would you-"

Before he could continue, she walked slowly, calmly, almost mechanically, over to the body. Her eyes searched the sheet, almost afraid of what laid beneath. She brought her hand up to the top of the white fabric, letting it hover before dropping it back to her side. Several times she did this before her shoulders began to shake.

Tugging at his sleeve, Hope wondered if he was doing the right thing. If this would help her or hurt her. He had ordered Yeul's body out of cold storage only a few hours before, in hopes of giving the Pulsian a chance to say goodbye. This could either bring Zalera closure, or be just the thing to shatter whatever remained of her. Was she strong enough for this? Was it too soon? These questions were soon to be answered as Zalera finally willed herself to pull the sheet back.

A gasp sounded from her as she took in the young girl's face. _Yeul..._ She looked so peaceful, as if she were just asleep. But as Zalera brought her hand to the girl's face, it was undeniable. The unnatural coldness of her skin. The blue of her lips. The marks, cuts, and bruises that marred her delicate features. The death that radiated from her. The tears came much sooner than she'd expected but she couldn't keep them at bay, even if she'd wanted to. Slumping over the young girl's body, Zalera wailed. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I failed you. I can't believe-you-you-y-you c-can't really be- Another pained cry erupted from her. Picking up the girl slightly, she brought Yeul to her chest, clutching onto her tightly.

Hope closed his eyes, head turned downward, giving them some semblance of privacy. He knew Zalera cared very much for Yeul and that this wasn't going to be easy, but he'd mistaken just how heartbreaking this would be. Yeul was like family to the woman, making her the last of her family, and probably the last of her tribe. Zalera had truly lost everything. Yet she continued on. For what purpose, he was uncertain, but he didn't need to know, he admired her greatly for it anyway. She reminded him of a certain someone standing not five feet away.

This certain someone in contrast was having a hard time not staring at the scene. She could feel for the warrior. She knew what it was like to lose someone. How it felt when the realization finally hit. How it felt when you first saw the empty vessel left behind when the soul was long gone, out of your reach. She could easily remember the days mourning her father and mother. But as she looked at the two before her she felt fear in the pit of her stomach. Fear for what if that person on the table were someone she cared for just as much? What if that body now cradled so desperately in the strange woman's arms was her sister or Hope? What if she was the one clinging to the dead body, tears flooding her cheeks? Relief soon squashed the growing fear as her mind rationalized everything. Serah was in stasis, protected by her crystal case. Hope was beside her, under her watchful eye and protection again. She did not need to worry about this pain for this pain of loss was not her own, but belonged to the woman in front of her.

As the time passed, Hope and Lightning remained waiting until Zalera was finished. It was a long while before her cries died out and the tears slowed to a stop, but neither said a word. Zalera sniffed and wiped her eyes before wiping her tears from Yeul's face and cupping her cheek. "I hope you are happy in your next life and I hope that we meet again. I'm so sorry." As she placed the cloth back over Yeul, she felt her throat threatening to close and tears brimming her eyelids once again. Drawing in a shaky breath, she stood, arms wrapping around her middle.

Hope went to close the drawer, but stopped at the knock on the door behind him. He turned to see Alyssa enter. "Aly-" He was cut off as she hugged him tightly. He sighed, wondering when this would stop. This was the third time he'd seen his assistant since he'd been back and every time was the same. A bone crushing hug and a teary eyed 'hello' and 'glad your back'. _No wonder everyone thinks there's something going on._

Stepping away while keeping her hands on his shoulders, Alyssa smiled cheerfully. "Director, I'm so glad you're back." Hope nodded and smiled politely. He received a small pout from the girl as he pushed her hands off of him, but her smile returned almost instantly. "You asked for me?"

"Yes." He turned toward the other occupants of the room. His brows furrowed at Lightning's hardened expression but as his eyes fell on Zalera, a sympathetic look overcame him. "Um, Z, are you-"

"I'm... all right," she responded shakily.

"You know my offer still stands." She turned to him, confused. "About staying with us."

She smiled graciously, grateful for his kindness. "Oh, please, Hope. I'm fine. And stop looking at me like that." She shoved his chest playfully causing him to stumble back a few steps.

They laughed for a few brief moments before Hope looked back to Alyssa. "If you could take Zalera back to base and make sure she's settled in-"

"No problem, Director. I'd be more than happy to." Alyssa nodded to Zalera who nodded slowly in return, following after the exiting assistant.

Just before leaving, she stopped, hearing Hope close the drawer. They all soon exited the room as Torkin closed it all up and locked it. Before following the rest of her group out, she turned towards the room, looking one last time at the drawer containing her dearest loved one. Her hand slid down the cool glass of the door's window as she took a deep breath. "I miss you," she whispered. "Know that I'll always love you."

A loud gasp alerted Hope to their straggling member. He searched behind him for Zalera and saw her still staring into the morgue through the door. He walked over toward her and put his hand at her back. He did this just in time to catch her as her legs gave out beneath her. The two collapsed to the floor as the tears came spilling over Zalera's cheeks once again.

"I can't leave her. I can't." She cried out as she buried her face into Hope's chest, wrapping her arms around his waist.

Pulling her closer towards him, he rested his chin atop her head and rubbed circles into her back to calm her down. After a few minutes passed, she seemed to only get worse. "Z, it's okay. Yeul's here and she's at peace now. Please, it's okay. Soon enough we can put her body to rest however you wish. Just... please calm down."

Sniffing a bit, she pulled away from him. "I'm sorry." Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were red from crying and embarrassment. Hiccuping in her breaths, she wiped some snot from her nose as she mumbled another apology.

"It's okay." The young man gave her a small, comforting smile and stood, holding out a hand to pull her up. She took it and he then helped her off of the cold linoleum floor. "Now let's get some sleep, huh?"

* * *

Lightning stared at the fabric that stretched above her bed. They had gotten back to Hope's house two hours prior and almost immediately shuffled off to bed. After all of the emotional crap that had occurred throughout the day, the soldier had been rather excited by the prospect of getting some rest. But as soon as her head hit the pillow, she had remained wide awake. At first, she didn't think too much of it, thinking that maybe she just wasn't tired. As the hours passed, though, and the moon quickly progressed through the sky, she could feel how tired she was, how borderline exhausted she was getting.

So then she thought that maybe it was the new room, the strange location that her mind had to become accustomed to. It was plausible. Anyone would have a hard time adjusting to new living conditions, especially their bedroom. But this idea was quickly shot down. Lightning was a soldier. She knew how to quickly adjust to different conditions. And all her life she found she could pretty much sleep anywhere. Even ever since she was Claire.

Sitting up, the woman sighed. Letting her thoughts wander, she tried to find the cause and solution to this problem. She needed to sleep. What use would she be for protecting Hope if- _Thats it!_ That was exactly what was wrong with the restless soldier. For the past few days, since the young man had reappeared in her life, she had been by his side, day and night. His presence had been right there while she had slept and apparently her mind and body had grown dependent on it. _In only three days?_ She shook her head, finding that to be a dumb thought. Hope had been gone for months and she'd slept just fine... most nights. It would be absurd. But as she sat there, pondering her predicament, it was the only explanation she could find. Especially since in the hospital they had only been separated by a few feet and were now not only rooms apart, but floors. These thoughts only led her to thinking about Hope's safety and the distance she would have to cover to get to him in time to save him. Would she even make it?

Huffing and shoving the covers off, she stood. She had to check on him. "Ugh, all I can say is thank Etro I'm not still staying in my apartment. That would have made this even more annoying and ridiculous."

Shuffling through the house and down the stairs, Lightning was quiet and stealthy so as to not wake Hope or alert the guards. As she hit the last step though, she heard a cry from Hope's bedroom. Springing into action, the soldier shot towards his door, fully aware of the absence of her weapon at her side. Silently cursing herself, she swung Hope's door open, now hearing more yells.

As she entered his room, she felt some of her panic lessen. Hope was physically fine. There was nothing really wrong and there was no intruder threatening is health. But, on the other hand, something was very wrong with Hope as he was writhing around, lost in a mess of blankets, hopelessly locked in a nightmare. Drawing in a deep breath, Lightning went to his side.

He could feel it again. That damned hand was at his throat, choking the life from him as it had many nights before. Struggling to free himself, he found his bindings only tightening further. The air was all around him, taunting him, but he had no way of letting it into his lungs that were burning with need. Sebastian's eyes held that same sadistic flare they always did but it seemed to be far more intense this time.

Then the smell reached his nose. The burning of flesh. Hope had been so focused on fulfilling his need to breathe that he hadn't even been aware of the extra touch the burly man decided to use. Now he could feel that unbearable burn not only inside his throat but outside as well. His flesh felt like it was being seared off of him. The scorching flame held just under Sebastian's palm began to cause Hope's skin to boil and welt.

On the verge of passing out from the pain, his strangled yelps began to die out. He knew there was no one there to help him. There were plenty of people that could hear him, sure, but there was no one within earshot who wanted to help end this horrid pain. Yet he cried out anyway. He cried for there was nothing else he could do.

Lightning struggled to bring Hope back to reality. To bring him back to her. He seemed so scared, so lost, that it was killing her. She grabbed onto his bare shoulders and tried to shake him awake but it only caused him to scream out more. Taking his face in her hands, she called out to him again, receiving nothing but more pained cries. His hands were gripping the sheets as if they were his lifeline. Sweat dripped down his clammy skin and he was hot to the touch. "Hope! Hope!" He continued to cry out and she froze when she heard her name tumble from his lips. Again and again, he called out for her. Why couldn't she help him? He clearly wanted her help and she was trying. She was right by his side, attempting to soothe his pain. "Dammit, Hope, c'mon. Wake up!" She put her hand on his exposed torso and tried to hold him still while her other hand remained cupping his cheek. "Please, come back to me, Hope," she whispered.

Hope jolted, quickly sitting up from the bed and threw a punch at her. Because of her soldier reflexes, she caught the fist before it reached her face. She was stunned that he would attempt to hit her, but as she looked at him, the disoriented and dazed expression on his face, she knew he didn't think that it was her. Shock quickly overcame him as she saw him take her in.

He couldn't believe it. As his breathing slowed from its erratic state, he took in his surroundings and the person partially on top of him, holding his fist in her hand, inches from her face. He almost hit Lightning. "I'm so sorry." He pulled away from her, still trying to understand how he could have ever come that close to harming her.

Trying to meet his eyes through his silver locks, she kept her hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat slow. "Are you okay?" Her concern over his state only grew as she watched him reach for his neck cautiously, as if he weren't sure what he would find.

Smiling as he sighed, his hand fell back to the bed. _It was only a nightmare._ He looked up to finally meet the young woman's eyes. _And Light witnessed all of it._ He must have put on quite a show for her eyes were filled with worry. "Yeah, I'm fine," he breathed out. Taking her hand from his chest, he squeezed it, giving her that reassuring, warm gesture that had become the norm between them.

Lightning squeezed back as she shifted. A blush crept over her cheeks as she noticed their rather compromising position. They were so close. She was straddling him and practically in his lap, her in her shorts and tank top, him in sweats with nothing covering his bare chest that glistened in the moonlight. This position had been necessary before when Hope was freaking out and Lightning had been trying to help him, but now...

Hope cleared his throat as she got off of him and sat beside him. He met her eyes again. "I'm really so-"

"No need."

"But I almost-"

The pinkette smirked. "Oh please, Estheim. Do you really think you could ever lay a hit on me?"

He chuckled and rubbed his neck, still finding it hard to believe that the event had only occurred in his head. "Yeah, I suppose not." _Not that I ever thought I'd try._ His eyes trailed off to the side as quiet took the room for a few moments. He soon found them widening, though, as he heard a harsh whisper.

_"Only a nightmare? Are you sure?"_

Seeing Hope tense and become visibly frightened, Lightning grabbed his arm. This caused them both to look at his arm and the brand under her palm. Their eyes stuck there a moment, looking at both the contact and the blue mark. _All of this is happening because of this damn thing. Maker, why?_ Her thumb began to rub against the brand softly. "Hope?" She looked up to find his eyes staring into hers.

A sigh escaped him as he looked down to his arm with disgust. He still felt the sharp pangs of shame. Shame for getting taken. Shame for not being able to prevent the tattoo's reappearance. Shame for having to bring more chaos into their lives. Into her life. Her gentle caress over his skin soothed his mind. "Yeah, Light?"

"Are you sure... I know we already talked about this, but are you sure you don't have some... kind of focus with this?" She continued to brush her hand against it as they sat there. "I mean, other than what those... _monsters_ wanted you to do. You didn't have any sort of vision?"

Running his free hand over his face, he cringed at the memories of when he got his brand. "No, I didn't have a vision. And I'd know if I did. I still remember our one of Ragnarok clear as day. But no... I guess when your brand is forced back to the surface, you don't have to deal with the focus bullshit. Probably the reason for its odd color." Lightning let go and they both looked at it intently, as intently as they could with the moon streaming in through the windows being their only light source. But in the moonlight, his brand held a beautiful, breathtaking glow. "We should probably get back to sleep." He really didn't feel like going back to bed and experiencing another nightmare like that again, but he could at least pretend so Lightning could get some rest.

"Would you like me to..." She trailed off and stared down at the bed.

Hope caught on and smiled, but shook his head. "That's all right. I'll be fine. Promise."

With this, Lightning nodded and stood. "I'm glad your okay," she whispered before retreating out of his room and shutting the door. She felt uneasy with leaving him. The incident had shaken her much more than she would have liked and she couldn't seem to get his cries out of her head. Now the need to be near him and protect him had only strengthened. With this in mind, she sauntered off to her room, grabbed a pillow and some covers and made to spend the rest of her night on the couch in the family room just across the hall from Hope's bedroom.

Hope laid his head back down on his pillow. His body was still cooling down from before, so he kicked the covers away, welcoming the cool air of the room over his skin. Sleep would be eluding him and his torturous mind for the rest of the night, but he continued to lay there. Flashes of his nightmare came to the forefront of his wandering thoughts and he pushed those out of his mind as quickly as they'd entered. He didn't need to think about it. It had been less of a nightmare and more of a memory. A memory that he apparently couldn't vanquish if he tried.

And then he thought about the whispers that had invaded his mind. As if the memories and tormenting dreams weren't enough, he had to deal with Castea's voice lingering in his head. He knew that the voice wasn't real – just a product of his imagination and the traumatic events he'd been through. Castea was dead after all. He'd watched her body hit the stone wall of the Ark and heard her neck snap against it. She hadn't moved or even twitched after that. Her eyes even screamed death when he'd chanced a glance at her while escaping.

It had only been him that had heard it. Lightning had been sitting right in front of him when Castea's voice had whispered to him yet again. The voice's presence had been nonexistent to her.

 _And then there's that..._ Lightning would only worry for him more now. This... event would cause her to not only fret about his health and safety more, but to inquire more about his time in the Ark. She asked him so many times already. Lightning was careful not to be too pushy but he could tell how badly she wanted to know. He would never tell her, of course. She already blamed herself for his abduction and subsequent captivity and torture. What good would knowing the details do her?

A part of him knew that that wasn't the only reason he was being so tight lipped. He was also too embarrassed and far too ashamed. He hadn't been strong enough to stop his attackers. All he had been was a worthless victim. The only way he had even escaped was with Alexander. _Who knows what would have happened if he hadn't shown up. I'd probably be dead or their puppet. Lightning still thinks of me as the little kid she has to protect. I've tried so hard to be stronger to protect the ones I love. All I seem to do is put them in danger and get them killed. No matter what, I'm too weak. And if I tell her... she'll know just how weak I really am._

Hope knew he shouldn't have agreed to have her as his guard. Having her protect him not only highlighted the fact that he was weak and needed protection, but it put her in danger. Sure, Castea, Sebastian, and Barsilisk were gone, and many others they'd disposed of while escaping, but that did not guarantee there weren't others. Plus there were the apparently frequent assassination attempts from Sanctum City to think about. If he ended up losing Lightning the way he lost his father...

Squeezing his eyes shut, the young man tried to calm the rapidly growing nausea that thought had conjured up. He had already lived years without the soldier. Five years without Lightning by his side had been an experience he'd never wanted to endure again. Only this time, there would be no possibility of her coming back. He would have to live the rest of his life without her stunning, rare smile. Her soft, yet calloused hands. Her dry humor. Her ferocious battle skills. Her marvelous strength. Without her heart. That was and would be the most devastating piece of Lightning Farron to lose. Her heart that was so caring and kind even though she tried to keep it protected behind a stoic mask and an ice cold glare. He knew he could never do it. Live a life without the person he admired the most. Without the woman who eased his fears so quickly. Without the woman whom he considered his best friend. Without the woman who he had come to love.

Turning his body on its side, Hope found himself staring at his door for the rest of the night, thinking about the soldier who laid a ways beyond it.


	14. Emotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You have helped me in more ways than you can imagine, Light."

She was watching him now. Intensely watching him, wholeheartedly. The way he worked truly amazed her. He was so determined, so focused, like everything around him blurred out and the only thing in the world was his current project. It reminded Lightning of the kind of focus she used in battle.

The soldier was currently standing about twenty feet away from Hope who was wiring another pole for the shield project, as well as working on the figures of how far the barrier would span and how thick it would have to be. What he was working on was so complicated. It was all beyond her. Lightning was an intelligent person, but as she continued to watch the young man, she realized that she couldn't hold a candle to Hope. The figures he constantly went through, the advanced engineering skills he had and used... he was so adept... In all of their travels together as l'Cie, she never once considered how smart Hope was. When he'd stopped cowering and whining it had become clear that he was bright and picked things up quick, but... _He's in his element now._

Two weeks had passed since the duo had gone back to work, back into their old workaholic ways, and Lightning was still not pleased with Hope's heavy work load. Though it seemed, other than the increasingly large amount of paperwork he had to do daily, he brought it on himself. He worked very intimately on more projects than he needed to - the shield project being a good example. When she had asked him, though, why he didn't leave it to Maqui and the rest of his very capable staff, he said he had to protect his people. That they needed to feel safe and secure, especially now. Also, he explained that this was his baby. He came up with the idea and wanted to see it through to the end, have it come to fruition. This, and his look of extreme determination, made her think back on the crystal mission. That had been his baby as well. From what she had heard, he had had a lot of himself invested in that project, too. It made her realize just how devastating letting it go must have been for him.

And just how afraid of the crystal he was now.

Of course, these thoughts led her mind into its web of horrifying thoughts of his time in the Ark, into her demanding curiosity about his torture. She wanted to know. She desperately wanted to know. She _needed_ to know. Being stuck in a constant state of wonder was driving her insane. All she seemed to be doing lately was remembering every single mark that she had seen on him and imagining what could have happened to cause them. She had so many questions about his torture. What did they do to him, exactly? What kind of tools were used on him? How many times did they stab him, burn him, and electrocute him? How did he continue on? How did he deal with the pain and seemingly never-ending torture? Did he struggle? Did he scream? Was he able to? And if he did, how long did he cry out for someone before he realized that no one was coming for him? Did he call out to anyone specific? Did he cry out for her?

That was the one question she had become obsessed with. The one question she felt she already knew the answer to. The one question that was slowly causing her to crumble. He had called for her in his nightmares. It would only make sense if he had called for her then, too. And she hadn't come for him. Then that brought up more questions. How long did he cry out for her before he realized that she wasn't coming to save him? How long had it taken before he had lost his faith in her? Before he had lost the hope of ever being freed? How long before he had lost all hope?

Lightning stared at his back as he fiddled with things far beyond her comprehension, hoping that he wouldn't turn around. If he did, he would surely notice the tears she had been slowly shedding unconsciously. Hastily wiping them away, she clawed her way out of that pit of hell she'd thrown herself into and tried to focus on reality. But even as she did, she found herself only falling deeper. For her reality was Hope. He was all she had and was the only thing keeping her together. She couldn't stand the thought of him knowing that she'd abandoned him. Of him stuck in that place and losing faith in her. For all she knew, he had lost _all_ faith in her. She hated thinking that. Thinking that even _he_ thought that she couldn't protect him or save him. She already had her own doubts. But she was going to try. She was going to protect him until she drew her very last breath.

Even so, it all did no good if he didn't believe in her. If he didn't trust her. If he didn't think she cared enough to come for him. How could she show him? How could she prove it to him? Crossing her arms, the young woman dug her nails into her skin as she continued to get lost in the labyrinth of wonder her unanswered questions had created.

She could see the blood, hear his screams. He was screaming for her, but she wasn't coming. His body was writhing and struggling against his captors. They were hurting him over and over and over again. There was blood, so much blood. His screams were getting louder and even more shrill. No matter how long or loud he cried, no matter how much he struggled, those faceless monsters continued. _Stop. Just stop._

And gradually, something shifted. His cries floated away into the distance. His body was still, succumbing to the torment. He no longer twitched in anguish. His eyes... those beautiful emerald eyes had lost their usual spark. There was a deadness in them that spoke of utter hopelessness and despair. It didn't belong there. Not in those eyes. Shaking her head and biting her tongue, she fought to free herself of the images, but they wouldn't relent. The chaos of her imagination had grabbed a hold of her and wasn't about to let her go.

Dropping her arms to her sides, Lightning balled her hands into tight fists. She needed to stop. Her sanity was deteriorating and if she didn't find a way to stop it soon, someone would notice. She needed to keep herself calm and on guard. What if someone attacked while she was too obsessed with her string of questions? Or someone could see and decide that she was unfit for this job. Hope could see and decide that he really couldn't count on her.

That was what finally brought her attention back on topic. _Protect Hope._ Nerves calming and vision clearing, the sergeant finally stopped her downwards spiral with just enough time to compose herself before Hope turned toward her, giving her his bright smile. A smile that although appeared genuine, was surely forced. Even if it was only minutely.

"So," he started as he picked up the large pipe and hefted it onto his shoulder, "have you seen Z around lately?" Walking away a few feet, he set the pole down carefully onto a cart with four others to which Maqui came over to, nodded his head at Hope, and steered it away to his workstation.

Clearing her throat, Lightning walked towards him chewing on an answer as he put his jacket on. She was now used to his little nickname he had for Zalera. Before, it had been odd for the soldier and had led to yet another question in her mind, 'when they had gotten close enough for nicknames,' but she left that question on the heap of other unanswered ones and just accepted Hope's closeness with the strange Pulsian and the name. He had a nickname for her, after all. Granted she had told him to use it. Maybe Zalera had asked him to as well. "Not for a couple of days. Last I heard from Sazh, though, she was hanging around him and learning a bit about his ships." She rolled her eyes as she imagined how that had gone. Sazh could rattle on for hours if it had anything to do with airships and his old days in the civilian air fleet.

Hope chuckled as he readjusted his tie, clipping it firmly into place to rest perfectly in the middle of his chest. "Yeah, Sazh probably had some fun... not sure about Z, though." Shaking his head, he led Lightning out of the shop and back out into the hall.

"So, where to from here, _Director_?"

"The office. Where else?" He smiled and laughed under his breath as he caught sight of the young woman's glare. "I know, watching me do mounds of paperwork just makes your day, huh?"

"Like life's one big party."

* * *

The two made it into Hope's office two minutes before a knock sounded from the door. "Come in," Hope called from his desk.

Lightning looked up from her spot in the corner to see a woman, seemingly not much older than Hope, step in and make her way over to his desk. She had fare skin and long straight red hair that reached mid back with bangs parted to the sides. She was about an inch shorter than the soldier to her estimation, not counting the black heels. Her rather thin frame wore a slim fitting black dress, a matching purse on the crook of her elbow, and a necklace with a diamond studded 'K'. Although her deep red lipstick made her lips pop, it was her eyes that attracted your attention. They were a vibrant purple, very similar to Cass'.

"Good to know you can still make time for visitors. Although, it looks like your assistant was right, you do have quite the workload." Her eyes scanned over his desk, taking in all of the papers strewn across it, before landing on their target. "How long has it been?"

Hope smiled a bit uneasily and stood, soon walking around his desk to her side as he spoke. "A little over a year, if I recall correctly." Grudgingly, he took her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing her knuckles gently. "But it's always a pleasure, Kori."

She smiled as he released her hand. "Well, of course it is." Glancing over to the corner, she caught sight of the roseate standing rigid, arms crossed, and face expressionless except for her raised brow.

Noticing where Kori's eyes landed, Hope bounced a bit in his step, jumping into introductions. "Oh, um," he began, before waving Lightning over, "this is Sergeant Lightning Farron. She's my personal guard and a good friend of mine."

Lightning reluctantly walked over towards the two, her strides swift, and held out her hand to the woman whose eyes were still sizing her up.

"And this is Koriandr Harleen. She's Cass' older sister and a... childhood friend."

They shook hands politely as expected of the two, but you could feel the intense competitive aura that filled the air in that moment. Both kept their feelings hidden away, Kori by an aristocratic smile and Lightning by her usual hardened mask. "Ah, so I get to meet the soldier who guarded my brother. Am I correct?" Lightning simply nodded in reply. "Right, he spoke about you, a bit. He said you had quite the personality." She chuckled lowly at the soldier's slight frown. "It's great to finally meet you."

Crossing her arms, Lightning decided to remain civil, even in the face of this very fake, spoiled brat for the sake of Hope. But it was nice to be able to put a face to a name, seeing as Cass had spoken of her quite a lot during his time as director. "It's nice to meet you as well, Miss Harleen."

"Please, it's Koriandr and my friends call me Kori." She leaned a bit into Hope's chest and arrested his tie. "Isn't that right, Hope?"

Looking down at the contact, Hope swallowed harshly. He hadn't even realized they were standing so close. "Sure," he replied, the word catching slightly in his throat.

After sliding down the length of his tie, her hand rested against his chest as she turned to look at Lightning. "Any friend of Hope's is a friend of mine. Anything closer and, well... that's entering enemy territory." Grinning, she stepped away as Hope cleared his throat.

"So, was there anything specific you wanted to speak with me about?" Walking towards his desk, he stole a glance at Lightning who still held an indifferent expression. He then sat on the front of his desk, awaiting Kori's answer.

"Well, first, I wanted to welcome you back. I should have done this _much_ sooner. I wanted to see how you were doing?"

Hope looked at her, his inner feelings on the subject kept carefully away from his expression, and gave her a small, calm smile. "I'm doing well. Thank you."

Flipping her hair away from her face, she returned his smile with one of her own. "That's good to hear. You have no idea how happy I was when I heard that you were back. Although, your captivity has been kept so hush hush that it makes it quite mysterious."

Hope's eyes drifted away from her. He inwardly cringed and waited for the prying questions that so many others asked freely. As if they were as easy to answer as explaining the events of a vacation. He understood that she would be curious. Everyone was. It was only natural and he didn't mind that. As long as everyone kept their curiosity to themselves.

Seeing Hope's slight sullen expression and his reluctance to share anything on the topic, Kori moved on. "I also wanted to give you this." After opening her purse and quickly snatching out a golden envelope, she held it out for him to take. "I was kind of hoping for a quick verbal response."

Taking the envelope from her, he eyed the intricate designs for a moment before guessing what it was for. "Is this-"

"An invite to my annual soiree? Of course."

"But I thought that I missed it during-while I was gone. You always have it on the same day and..."

"I changed it." She stepped a little closer towards him and put her hand on his knee. "It wouldn't be any fun without our director."

Fingering the invitation, Hope felt touched and yet slightly annoyed. It was nice that Kori would postpone her annual ball just for him. Especially since she was usually so anal about these kinds of things. But he couldn't help the agitation he felt at having to attend. She was always hanging on him and was far too forward at the event as if she expected him to comply simply because they were in public and it was courteous. And he usually did allow it, finding himself trapped. The girl's clinginess could easily compete with Alyssa's, although the red head was more subtle and acted a little less desperate. Regardless, he would just rather avoid the whole ordeal entirely. If there was anything good that came out of his torture, it was missing the soiree. Or so he had thought.

He looked up to meet those deep violet orbs and noticed her brow arching, impatiently waiting for a reply. Hope bit his cheek as he realized how long he'd spent in silence and how rude he must have appeared. "I wouldn't dream of missing it, Kori. It was very unnecessary of you to postpone and I'm sorry for causing the complications of your party. Thank you, though... for allowing me a chance to attend this year."

Kori gave him a wide grin, having expected to hear him accept anyway, and nodded. She turned to leave and readied to say goodbye, but stopped as she remembered something else. "Oh, one last thing, Hope." She waited to continue until his eyes met hers, giving her his full attention. "Do you have any idea what my brother has gotten himself into this time?"

A look of confusion came over him until it was replaced quickly with bitter disappointment. "I have no idea. I had a hunch that he was getting into trouble again before... but it was just a feeling. Regardless I had Nivien looking into some things and watching out for him since, well, I've been so busy. She'd be the one to go to." Seeing Kori give him a look of disgust at his suggestion, Hope sighed. "Or I can ask her and relay the message to you."

A pleased smile made it's way to her face and she nodded. "And if I find anything out I'll be sure to let you know, as well. I don't understand why he has this self destructive behavior. It's been getting worse with dad, as well. It's like Cass wants him to..." she trailed off as she looked over to the side.

Her concern had cause. It seemed since the fall, even before Hope woke up, that Cass had changed. It was gradual and unnoticeable at first but as the years passed, it became apparent that his young friend had taken a liking to the taste of danger. And each time, the dangerous situation Cass would insert himself into grew worse and more violent. It seemed, at times, that he almost wanted to die. Hope had a sinking feeling that it had to do with the loss of his mother.

"Well, I should be going. That invitation is the same, as always. You may extend it to whomever you desire. That pilot you brought along last year was quite hilarious. So, please, it's always magnificent to meet more of the director's fine friends and associates." She walked towards the door, her hips swaying a bit exaggeratedly. As she was about to exit, she added, "You can even invite some of your... soldier friends," she paused, glancing at Lightning, uncaring of hiding her distaste for the woman, "...if you wish," and left.

Lightning stood, still biting her tongue as she had been doing for most of the unpleasant woman's visit. It seemed the family shared not only the eye color, but a severe case of arrogance. Lightning had learned to stand Cass' personality, with time, but she doubted she would ever get used to Kori's. Not that she wanted to in the least.

It also appeared that there were a lot of people competing for Hope's attention. Kori most definitely being one of them, unless she was just the type of person to be handsy, and used suggestive words and a sultry tone with every man she encountered. "I take it her and Nivien aren't on good terms," guessed the soldier as she took a seat on the couch across from Hope who was still staring at the envelope, mind Maker knows where. After a few moments his eyes darted up to meet hers as he furrowed his brow. "...The whole enemy thing..."

Chuckling under his breath, Hope stood and took his seat at his desk. He picked up a random paper out of the many, eyes roving over it as he replied. "Right, just ignore that. She's just a little-"

_Possessive._ She looked up at his silence and only then realized the word had left her mouth.

"I was going to say _protective_ of her... friends." Hope chose his words carefully as he spoke with Lightning. He knew Kori had a thing for him. It was quite obvious, but it appeared that after the fall and he woke up, little crushes didn't really matter much to him anymore. And by the time Kori had deemed him worthy enough of her interest, he had lost his infatuation with her. When he'd considered how that had happened, it hadn't taken him long to realize that it had been because his heart already belonged to someone else.

Lightning frustratingly grew curious, at this. She knew he and the uppity bitch, as the girl was now labeled in her mind, were friends from before she even knew him, but she wanted to know how deep this relationship ran. "It's obvious she likes you," stated Lightning, her hand waving carelessly as she spoke and her face holding a bored expression. "Have you guys..." She crossed her arms as the words began sticking in her throat. She immediately regretted the conversation and wished she could swallow it back up. No matter how uninterested she made herself look, the words would surely tell him otherwise.

Hope stared at his paper, confusion written on his face. It was interesting that Lightning would care about such a subject. The young man found himself inwardly grinning as his mind raced with thoughts of why she would care, much less ask if him and Kori had been involved romantically. Even if she had stopped herself short, he knew what she wanted to ask.

Saving her dignity and yet still answering her question, Hope spoke while jotting some notes down as if he really were working and not too delighted, by gaining Lightning's interest in his love life, to focus. "Our statuses were never really in sync... not until after the fall and my father was director. By then I had much more important things to focus on than Kori. That's not to say that I don't care about her, it's just... she's a tad too superficial, I guess." He stopped writing the note that held no meaning other than to make him look like he was preoccupied and not giving this conversation his complete attention and devotion, to glance at the slight pensivity in her features. Her expression was rather open which was odd for her. "And... I guess relationships were set as a low priority for me with all of this." He gestured to the desk in front of him, a sigh being released. A thought wandered into his mind as he began to wonder just how much he should say. He wanted to tell her the main reason he'd held his distance from Kori and other interested parties, but he was deathly afraid of her reaction. _Maybe if I just hint at it..._ "And... I think that if I cared enough about her... in _that_ way, work wouldn't matter." _Or not..._

The soldier nodded in reply. Lightning still didn't like her, but she felt a little of her hatred for the girl lessen. A small silence settled over them after a few moments and after hearing the rustling of papers stop, Lightning looked up, expecting to see Hope staring intently at a document or scribbling something down. What she found instead concerned her. His eyes were shut, acute pain etched into his features, and his hand gripped a page tightly, crumpling the edge.

Hope's mind was an utter disaster. Over the past couple weeks, the voices had not stopped and had only grown worse and more frequent. The only thing the mini Castea stopped, was making sense. Her mocking words and playful reminders of her existence had evolved into a cluster of harsh whispers that would take over his mind, effectively killing his focus and blurring reality out. It was as if there were multiple Casteas that had made a home in his head and spoke to him all at once. As a result, all he heard was nonsense. It would always end after a few minutes of agony with a throbbing headache and a bout of nausea coiling in his gut.

These trying, painful times for Hope did not go unnoticed by Lightning. There would be times where he would stare off into space, fear taking over his features, and gripping whatever his hands could grab onto for dear life. Sometimes, it would occur during a conversation, most often with her, and his prolonged silence taking place over his usual witty responses would alert her into action. When it would happen she would worry, call out to him, and if he didn't respond after a few minutes, she'd find a way to snap him out of it. One time, it took her so long, she finally had to resort to a good elbow to the stomach.

Then there were the times like this, where not even her punches could bring him back to her. And in this, where whatever he was going through was bad enough that he was visibly hurting, she felt the most helpless. Especially since these occasions were happening more and more often and spanning for longer periods of time.

Even more frustrating was the fact that Hope wouldn't talk about it. He wouldn't answer any of her questions after any of the incidents, keeping it as secret as his torture. In a way, it made sense since it no doubt was linked to his captivity, but that didn't make his secrecy any less annoying. _Does he truly not trust me? I guess... I can't blame him for that._

Lightning attempted to call out to him a few times, but as expected, nothing changed. As much as she despised it, she just stood there, watching as he was in pain and struggling with whatever demons were plaguing him, doing nothing. _What are they? Some sort of panic attacks? Flashbacks? Some form of PTSD?_ She had suggested to him on more than one occasion that they should take him to a doctor and get it checked out. He had simply laughed it off, saying that he could handle it and didn't need to go around troubling anyone else.

A groan alerted her out of her head and she looked up to see Hope let whatever paper he previously held flutter to the floor as his fingers furled themselves in his hair. Wasting no time, she was at his side. She turned his chair in her direction and put her hands on his shoulders. "Hope! Hope snap out of it!" His face only continued to contort in pain while his nails dug painfully into his scalp. Grasping his arms, she tried to pull them away, but they didn't budge. Even with as much force as she could apply, she couldn't pull his head free from his iron grip. _Damn, Hope. When did you get so_ _strong?_ Her hands then slid up over his own and she tried to pull them off, but had no luck. As a last resort, she decided to claw them off. After digging her nails deep into his skin, drawing blood, to her dismay, he finally released. Grinning at her triumph, she pulled his arms to his sides and stared into his face. His eyes were still shut tight and he was still struggling inside his head.

Cupping his cheeks, she didn't know what to do. She could try to hit him or something, but in these cases, it never worked. And she didn't want to hurt him. She never ever wanted to cause him pain. She glanced at the bleeding claw marks on his hands and shook her head. She'd only done that so he wouldn't hurt himself. "Hope," she whispered as he groaned again. _Maker, I can't do anything_. _What the hell is wrong with me? I'm supposed to protect him, but... how can I protect him from this? From his_ _past?_ A tear slowly fell down his cheek which only caused her to berate herself more. He was in pain, serious pain, and she couldn't stop it.

When the voices finally faded out, he let out a loud sigh as his eyes fluttered open. He felt groggy and his head ached terribly. He was convinced some sort of bomb had gone off inside of it. _Imaginary Castea's mind invasions are getting worse. But what am I supposed to do about that?_ His vision was blurred before it focused on a face rather close to his own. It was then that he realized that Lightning was kneeling before him, that his face was captured in her firm hold, and that she was looking into his eyes with an intensity that seemed to take all of his afore mentioned pain away. If only for a few moments. Then he felt a stinging sensation in his hands that drew his mind back to his physical condition.

He hissed and tore his eyes away from Lightning's concerned ones to see why his hands hurt so badly. As he caught sight of the marks, shock set in. He wondered how they had gotten there and if he had somehow done it to himself. He didn't even consider that it may have been Lightning.

Relief filled her as he came back to the real world. She had been only seconds from calling a med team and was sure she would probably have to next time. Her high spirits sank, though, as he looked to his hands. "I'm sorry, Hope. I had to get you to stop..." Hope's eyes looked back into hers at her words. "You were going to hurt yourself," she whispered, eyes falling away. _So you hurt him for him? Good going, Farron._

Her eyes widened, stunned, when he brought a shaky hand to her chin and tilted her head back up so her eyes could meet his. He held his usual sweet smile in place and his eyes looked at her with happiness and warmth, not pain and betrayal as she was expecting.

"Thank you, Light." He let her chin go and tried to flex his hands. A chuckle sounded from him as he tried to ease the tension. "Your nails are like daggers." After a few moments, the scratches were gone, a healing spell swiping away the damage. Standing, Hope took his gloves out of his pocket and slipped them on. He looked down to see Lightning still kneeling in her same position, her eyes carefully hidden away by her bangs. Seeing her mouth drawn in a firm line caused Hope to bite his lip. He knew what she was doing. She was mulling over whether or not to address the elephant in the room and the young man was hoping to avoid it. He couldn't talk about it with her. It was something he had to handle on his own. No one could help him with it, anyway. Telling her would only worry her and she might even think he was going crazy. Hell, he even thought he was going bonkers. But how was he going to get around this little issue? "Um... Light?"

She sighed and stood, still not meeting his eyes. "What's going on with you, Hope?" She was tired of it. All of the secrecy. All of the aggravating and emotionally exhausting events. She couldn't stand it anymore. Why couldn't he just tell her? How was she supposed to help him if he wouldn't tell her what was wrong?

Hope bit his cheek as he looked at her. He could see the weariness in her, the agitation at his constant evasion of the truth, but he couldn't tell her. He just couldn't. He thought it was because he was protecting her and also keeping his weakness from her, but maybe this just showed how truly weak he was. "It's nothing I can't-"

"Nothing you can't handle? Well maybe I can't handle it, Hope!" Lightning's face turned from anger to shock at her words. She couldn't believe she'd allowed the words to slip from her mouth. It was so unlike her to even accept when something was bothering or hurting her, let alone tell someone else about it. Yet strangely, she didn't mind. "You're hurting and I just..."

A metallic taste invaded his mouth and he released his cheek from his teeth, realizing just how hard he was biting into it in his anxiety. "I know you want to help, but... it's not that simple," Hope replied quietly, unsure of how else to answer her. "I just can't, Light. I can't go through it all again. Please don't make me." He squeezed his eyes shut as he heard his own words and how childish he'd sounded.

Lightning's heart ached at the pleading tone in his voice. Maybe this had nothing to do with her, at all. Taking his hand in hers, she squeezed it. "Alright, I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me. We'll figure some way around this." Hope gave a small nod but refused to open his eyes in fear of whatever expression Lightning held while giving in. "C'mon, let's get something to eat." She let him go and turned away to walk towards the door.

As he heard her foot steps, the teen opened his eyes. He felt a sharp pain in his chest as he watched her walk away from him. He had lied. He had lied to Lightning. His words had held some truth. It really was and would be extremely painful to talk about what happened to him, especially with Lightning, of all people. But he could. He could do it, if it was for her. He could even swallow his pride if it meant assuaging her worries away. The young director kept his mouth shut, however, willing himself to live in the wake of his lie, for he was convinced that telling her would do more harm than good. He was convinced that, in the end, this would be better for her.

Giving his head a slight shake, he followed the soldier out of the room. They were silent for a while, a thick tension hanging over their heads. Lightning was busy beating herself up for trying to force the truth out of him. Hope was trying to pry his mind away from his conscience, his guilt rising by the minute. They entered the elevator and still didn't even look in the other's direction.

It wasn't until Lightning finally did as she used to do so frequently, before she'd allowed herself to become so emotionally dependent on a man, and severed herself from her emotions, that they picked back up into their usual selves. "So, what's been going on with Cass?" It was something that had piqued her interest, even if she was mostly using the twerp as a talking point in an attempt at passing over their recent hurdle. She was trying to jump back into normalcy, or some form of it.

Hope's brow rose at her sudden question as he was startled that she was speaking with him. He had expected silent, soldier Lightning to have taken her place for a few hours, still stewing in her failed attempt at getting him to talk. But she wasn't. She didn't appear mad or distant, she was just giving up her endeavor in favor of making him feel better. And it only made him feel worse. Still, he was happy that she wanted to talk, and even a tad joyful that it was about something other than his predicament, so he was ready and willing to converse with her. To get back into their friendly conversations and witty banter that his days were filled with now. But how was he going to answer her question? It was a bit of a personal issue that Nivien and him had decided to keep between them unless things with Cass got too out of hand. And Kori was his sister, so she was an exception. But letting Lightning in on Cass' problems, when he wasn't sure if his friend would want her to know, seemed like a betrayal. But he couldn't just tell her that. He didn't know how much more of his deflection she could take.

Making a decision, he pushed the button and stopped the elevator. Turning towards her, he saw her surprise and confusion in her gaze and faced it with stern seriousness. "I know things haven't been easy for you, Light... especially with my constant avoidance of your questions, but..."

_How did my question lead to this? What does it have to do with me?_ Her brow arched as she turned toward him, her arms crossing. She thought she was doing what he wanted and giving him space and time to deal with everything going on with him. So she didn't understand why he was bringing it up.

"I know over time you and Cass became friends, but-"

Lightning snorted at his choice of words. "I wouldn't call us friends."

A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips before he disciplined his features into a determined expression. "Cass has a lot of issues."

_You can say that again._

"And I want you to be careful."

That was definitely not something she expected him to say, so she couldn't keep the shock off of her face at his wish. She knew the kid was a bit of a brat and had perverted tendencies but she never detected anything to be too wary of. Cass had never really given her any cause to be cautious around him, except for that smart mouth of his, but maybe she'd misjudged him, yet again. Judging by Hope's look of dead seriousness, she probably should have paid more attention.

He wasn't surprised by her reaction. Cass was very good at keeping himself guarded and at hiding his private matters. But this needed to be addressed whether she would have found out or not. "I know you're not a person to be told what to do." He smirked at his next words. "Even though I very well could order you." Her scowl spoke volumes of her irritation with his words and the truth behind them, which only caused him to smirk further before carrying on. "But I would like you to stay away from him. He's dangerous. He welcomes death. I don't know what's been going on with him or what exactly it is that he's getting himself into, but... Nivien and I are handling it best we can, so... just please be careful around him and avoid him when you can, all right?"

It was a while before Lightning found her words. She didn't think the punk was really worth the worry, but... _What is it that's so bad that Hope feels the need to worry about me?_ "What-If you don't know what he's doing... then how do you know it's... that he's dangerous?"

The silverette shifted, his gaze still holding its intensity. "His past excursions and little adventures. He's always wanted that taste of adventure, especially in the face of certain death. And since he feels he doesn't have anything to lose... His sister, Nivien, and I always tried to keep him out of his habits of trying to get himself killed ... but with us all growing apart, I think he took it the hardest." His gaze wavered. He knew what it felt like to be abandoned and he couldn't believe he'd caused that kind of pain in one of his oldest friends. "Just... please?"

Seeing the conflicting emotions play over him, the only answer she could find was, "Alright."

Hope smiled at the fact that it hadn't taken any heavy convincing or pleading, and pressed the button to continue on their way.

A smirk soon found its way to her lips as she glanced towards him. "I can take care of myself, you know."

She tried her best to sound stern and cold, but he caught the amusement in her tone, just as well. His smile only widened. "Oh, I know."

* * *

"Hope," Arden squealed as they approached.

"I see you like this place, huh," asked Hope with a grin and a jab of his elbow to Lightning's side.

Lightning stomped on his foot rather harshly in retaliation. "Its been a while since I've been here and even longer for you, so I thought-" She thought with everything going on with him and the severe heaviness that had been hanging over them all day, that a trip to Jun's eating establishment would cheer him up. And it would bring a smile to the face of a certain little boy who wound up cutting off her sentence as he slammed himself into Hope, squeezing him with all his might in a bear hug.

Hope chuckled as he ruffled the kid's blue-violet hair. "Hey, Arden."

Arden released him after a few more moments. "I missed you, Hope. Nana said you were away on a trip. Where'd you go for so long?"

A dark look came over Hope's features before it softened and he knelt down face-to-face with the boy. "Just a boring business trip. I'm sorry I had to be gone for so long. I missed you too, buddy." Hope smiled at him which the boy returned with his own wide toothy grin before hugging him again.

Lightning's lips couldn't help but to twitch upwards at the sight. She knew the boy cared for Hope a lot, but it was like they were close enough to be siblings.

"Where'd you run off to this time?" Jun peeked around the corner from her window to catch sight of them just a ways away. An expression of shock and happiness could be read on her face as she looked to Hope.

Arden let go of Hope and began bouncing up and down, pointing at his idol beside him. "Hope's here, Nana." He looked over toward Lightning, his excitement only growing, and pointed at her before looking at his grandmother. "And he brought the pretty girl with him, too."

A gasp escaped Jun and before they knew it, she was rushing out the side door of the little bus, her eyes watery. "Oh, dear, it's good to have ya back home." She embraced Hope as a few tears slipped down her cheeks.

"I think Nana missed you bunches, too," commented Arden as he stared at the two and giggled.

The hug lasted quite some time and as Hope began to pull away she only tightened her grip around his neck, causing him to smile and let out a light laugh.

"Oh, no, you don't, mister. You go missing for so long and when you're finally back you don't even visit us? Very rude, young man. You will stay and receive your punishment."

Hope only laughed harder. "Yes, this hug is pure torture."

Jun slapped him lightly on the back for his smart mouth before finally pulling back, hands still holding his shoulders tightly. She looked him up and down, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. She could see right through his smile. All she had to see was his eyes, for his eyes held a tremendous amount of pain. "I-"

"It's good to see you too, Jun. I'm sorry it took me so long to visit, but-"

"Please." She wiped away the last remnants of tears from her eyes with her index fingers before straightening out the new wrinkles in his jacket. "You know you never have to apologize for anything."

Jun had always been like a mom to Hope, Cass, and Nivien. Ever since the three had met her, she always gave them advice, consoled them, scolded them, and helped them in anyway she could, taking on the role as a mother to the three who no longer had their own. He wasn't shocked in the least by the waterworks or the hug that squeezed all the air out of him. The only thing that stunned him was his own tears he found he had to fight back. "Well, you know I'm still going to."

Jun chuckled at that. "Of course." She turned to Arden who was looking at the two with glee and Lightning who was looking at them with confusion.

She didn't know the two were so close at all.

"Hey, Arden, why don't you give Lightning a little tour of the bus, okay?"

Arden's face lit up even more at the suggestion and looked up at Lightning while grabbing onto her hand. "C'mon, Lightning, It's really cool."

The soldier's gaze flicked to Hope, seeking a way out. When he only shrugged his shoulders, she made a mental note to give him a good punch later. Kids were sweet and nice and all... they just weren't her thing. She could tolerate them, and when around them for short amounts of time, even stand to interact with them, but she just usually found herself uncomfortable in their presence. Maybe it was their unwavering trust in those around them, or the completely unguarded emotions children held and expected in return, or maybe it was the thousands of questions that slipped out one after another that drove her insane, but she never held much patience for them. Hell, she had little patience to begin with. She never understood how people could gush at any random baby's or kid's face. Serah had called her strange for it, but it was just how she was.

Even in the face of all this, she couldn't find herself being her normal cold self and turning down the bouncing boy before her. "All right," Lightning relented. "Just stay out of trouble, Hope." She gave him a wary glance before being tugged off toward the vendor.

"Don't worry about it, Light," called Hope. He couldn't help but smile. He had been a little worried at first, unknowing of what she would say or do in the face of the kid. So seeing her allow herself to let her icy exterior thaw for Arden, was a rather heartwarming sight.

"Don't burn yourself again, Arden," yelled Jun.

Arden huffed in exasperation, as if that was an outlandish expectation. "I won't." He then turned to the young woman held in his firm grip as he skipped to the food truck. "I thought your name was Lightning?"

Lightning sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose as her arm was jerked about, being unsteadily pulled along. "Light's my nickname."

Before entering, he stopped and turned to face her, a bashful smile on his face. "That's a pretty name. Almost as pretty as you." Seeing her slight smile before she covered her mouth to muffle a chuckle, Arden carried on. "It's much better than Lightning. Lightning is _so_ scary. And you're not scary, at all. Light suits you much better. You're like a warm, guiding light, that heals and protects everyone."

She stared at the little kid before her and wondered about how much time he had spent with Hope. Her gaze turned a little downcast as well. His words couldn't have been farther from the truth. She wasn't a warm person. She wasn't even nice. And she failed horribly at healing people. All she usually did was hurt. "You don't even know me, kid."

He gave her his toothy smile as he swayed a bit, his hands clasped before him. "I see it in your smile. And the way you look at people. Like Hope."

Jun looked back at Hope when the two were no longer in sight, her eyes flooded with concern. He gave her a small, gentle smile, to which she shook her head. She didn't want to see his strong front. She wanted to know how he was for real. Her eyes looked him over, once again, searching for any scrape or scar, but if she had heard correctly, she suspected she wouldn't find one. Eyes settling on his left forearm, Jun took it into her hold and gripped his sleeve. She glanced up, asking for his permission, which he gave in a nod, before pushing it up. A gasp sounded from her as she saw the brand. She only stared at it for a few moments before she tugged his sleeve down, her head hanging low.

"It wasn't-" Hope winced and his brows furrowed as she smacked him upside the head, a stern look coming over her.

"None of that nonsense. What happened to you, dear? I thought the l'Cie stuff was over and... _that thing_ was gone?" Her tone was gentle, but still bristled with overwhelming worry and concern.

"It was. They found a way to bring it back." Hope bit his lip as he attempted to cast away the memories that threatened to surface.

Growing curiosity getting the better of her, Jun continued her questions. "The people who took you, you mean? How-"

Hope held up a shaky hand as his gaze fell to the floor. "Please, Jun. I can't. It was-" He was cut off by another one of Jun's hugs that soothed some of his growing pain away.

"I'm so sorry, Hope. I'm here if you need me."

* * *

Zalera stood a little ways off, watching the two eat their lunch on the Academy base stone steps. She had been doing this almost every time Hope was out in the open. Watching, unknown, undetected, making sure he was safe, even though she was sure he couldn't be safer than with his pink-haired guardian by his side. _Lightning... a tough one, for sure. I can't be sure of her emotional stability, she seems to block a lot of necessary emotions out, but physically... she's ready for any battle._ She stared at the two, warmth in her eyes. Watching Hope and Lightning sitting and smiling together, brought on fond times she had shared with Yeul.

It was wrong of her to expect that just by attaching herself to Hope's side and becoming a not necessarily unwanted, but not needed guard to the kid, she could continue to live on easily. Hope was a special and very sweet young man who deserved nothing but the best from the world. He deserved a simple life and she was determined to protect him so he could have it. But she had an unpleasant feeling sneak into her that she was somehow dishonoring Yeul and her memory by moving on to guard someone else.

_No._ She needed to do this. She had to do this, not only to live, but because Yeul would have wanted her to.

Hearing approaching footsteps, Zalera stiffened. As she evaluated the sound of the footfalls, the easygoing nature behind them, her nerves began to ease. They weren't a threat, but they were definitely approaching her. Soon, a young man stood beside her. He wasn't much younger than Hope, but his attire was messy and his posture lax. Traits that led her to a name she had heard around.

"So, you're Zalera," he guessed as his eyes caught her view, settling on her target.

Zalera smirked. "And you would be Cass." His eyebrows rose, questioning how she knew, as his eyes rested on her. "A few months in captivity with the kid-"

"Ah. What are you doing, anyway? Don't tell me you've fallen for him, too."

A snort left her as she shook her head, her eyes now catching his with a dull look "Not quite." Cass tilted his head in a silent urge for her to continue. "He saved me. He saved me when he really shouldn't have. So now I'm going to watch out for him." She nodded to herself, reassuring herself that it was right. "Because I owe him that."

Cass contemplated this in silence. He found himself even more intrigued by the woman than he had been before. Glancing in her direction, he noticed her unwavering gaze was stuck to Hope. Cass didn't doubt her words for a second. But he did doubt her motive.

"He loves her, doesn't he," asked Zalera. She knitted her brow and cocked her head to the side, observing every movement in Hope and Lightning's interaction. "I got a strong vibe when he would talk about her. And now, seeing the way he looks at her, it's damn obvious." A wry chuckle escaped her. "How she can't see it..."

Taking a moment to ponder the direction their conversation had turned to, amusement filled him. "I think she just doesn't want to. But they'll figure it out."

* * *

It ate at her. No matter how much she tried to swipe the nagging thoughts and uneasy feelings away, she couldn't let it go. Things at lunch had gone well, wonderful in fact. Spectacularly, Hope seemed to be back to his same self and even now was quietly working away. _So why can't I just be grateful that he's alright right now?_

_Because you know another episode is right around the corner..._

Running her hand through her hair, she tried to come up with ways to get him to open up. She knew all too well what bottling things up did to people.

Lightning's eyes widened as she thought of what to do. _It had worked before with talking about our parents, so... maybe..._ Clearing her throat loudly, she caught Hope's attention. Her purposeful, stern gaze held his until he set down his paper.

"Yeah, Light?" The young woman looked down at her feet, biting her lip and he could tell that she was coming up with some sort of battle strategy for tackling how to talk to him. _This isn't good._

Letting out a deep exhale, she found the right words, the right story to get Hope to open up more and ultimately help her understand what happened to him and how to help him deal. Now all she had to do was get the words out of her mouth. "I need to talk."

Hope's lips parted as he took in her sentence. Suspicion shot through him as he caught on to the fact that 'I need to talk' was really 'you need to talk and I'm going to find a way to get you to'. Like another challenge for the soldier to face and overcome.

"Please."

The slight plea in her tone had him up and sitting by her side in a matter of moments. "What about?"

Feeling the weight of his gaze on her and realizing how stupid she was at starting a conversation she wasn't sure she was ready for, she began balling her fist until it hurt. "I wanted..." She trailed off, finding the words harder to say than she'd imagined.

Seeing her curious mental struggle and the clenched fist that held her anxiety, Hope took her hand and drew it out of its ball. Stroking her gloved palm with his thumb, he watched a small sense of calm overcome her.

Wordlessly, he managed to alleviate her growing nerves and fear in seconds and she envied him for that. _This is for Hope._ She said that to herself over and over, mostly focusing on the soothing circles he was running into her hand, and finding herself curiously wishing that they had no barrier between their contact. "You're scarred, Hope." She didn't need to see his expression to know that he'd heard her low whisper. He'd stopped his ministrations on her hand the second the last syllable had left her mouth. "Even if you look perfectly healthy, you're not." He began to pull his hand from hers but she latched onto it and squeezed it. "I know you don't want to talk about it, but it will destroy you if you don't."

A large amount of grief landed on him as she waited for him to reply. He struggled to find a response. It was usually so easy for him to talk with her, but this... this was something he had no idea how to approach. He thought that they had passed this and that he would at least not have to worry about this conversation coming up again until after the next incident. But here they were. Annoyance struck him as well as he wondered why she couldn't just let it go. Why couldn't this be the one thing he was allowed to keep from her? He was ready to share everything else with her, every detail about his past and what made him him. Anything but this.

Hearing nothing but his steady breaths, she continued. Maybe, as much as she hated the idea of it, she was going to have to bear the brunt of the conversation. "I know what I'm talking about." Her hold on him tightened as she forced herself to face the things she'd shut away long ago. That past she'd shoved into a closet when she'd become Lightning. The past that Claire could no longer deal with. It was hard, but that hand she was holding was helping her through it. "When my mother died, Serah and I only had each other. I told myself that I was okay, that I could deal with her death for Serah. That I had to do it alone." She shut her eyes as she found them beginning to water. "I stayed strong and joined the Corps to help protect and provide for Serah. I forced myself through the motions of a perfect soldier, pushed myself through the grueling trials of boot camp, faced impossible drill sergeants and fellow soldiers who told me I couldn't make it, and became what I set out to become. Lightning." The name came out with more disgust and hatred than she'd intended, but that made her story all the more truthful. For although Lightning had been Claire's savior, she had also led to her destruction. "She saved me from crumbling in the wake of my mother's death and from cracking under the new pressures weighing down on my shoulders. She was born of my self hatred and my endurance to achieve what Claire couldn't. Lightning helped me... for a while."

Hope stared at the side of her head as she talked. She spoke with such uncertainty and yet, such strength that he found himself marveling at the woman beside him. She constantly surprised him with her actions, with her words, that you'd think his amazement of her would slowly diminish. But it didn't, instead it grew.

"Serah saw through a lot of it. She saw that I was hiding under the shell of this indestructible soldier girl. Day in and day out she would try to tell me to take a break... to take a breather. She tried to get me to talk, but I just ended up shutting her out. I had nothing to talk out because I had shoved all of my feelings away. I denied their existence. I had decided that, as Lightning, I didn't need emotions. She was someone who could live without them and had no vulnerability." Drawing in a shaky breath, she opened her eyes, her gaze drifting over the room and its contents. "It wasn't until my first mission that I realized what a fool I was. Just because you push your past away, it doesn't mean it won't come back at you. And mine did, at the worst time."

Hearing the slight tremor in her voice, the young man slid his arm over her shoulder tentatively and pulled her closer. Interestingly, she didn't draw away or bark at him. Instead she seemed to accept the new contact. A heavy silence fell and Hope wondered if she could handle speaking anymore. This was a lot of Lightning... no... Claire... that was slightly startling to see. He knew there was a very vulnerable, very scared girl hidden inside that battle hardened woman, but he'd never dreamed he'd get to see it. He loved how open she was being with him, but it came with a price, as all things did. He knew this all was leading somewhere. To a place he wasn't ready to go to or speak about. But he wasn't going to worry about that now. He was just going to pay attention to Lightning and devote every part of his being to listening to her words and comforting her as she said them.

"We weren't supposed to have to fight, it was just a routine perimeter check in the middle of the night. But... there was an ambush." Images assaulted her mind as she thought back to that day. All the images she could remember, that is. The explosions... the bullets... the bodies... the eyes... "All I remember is seeing my fellow soldiers go down beside me. I remember his eyes... the eyes of a man I hadn't bothered to know the name of because I had previously decided it was unimportant. But his eyes were now staring at the sky, soulless. His body was a mangled mess, but.. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his own."

Her hand began to shake in his own which caused him to squeeze it tighter and draw her in closer. His chin rested on her head as she continued, his heart aching at her pain.

"I stared at his eyes... not because... It was b-because I saw my mother. It was all I could see... was my mother's dead eyes... Lost, dead, blue eyes staring at the ceiling while Serah kneeled at her bedside, screaming for her to wake up." Biting her lip, she cursed the first tear as it fell, but she kept going. _For Hope._ "I woke up three days later in the hospital with holes in my stomach and chest, a concussion, and a sobbing sister at my side. I didn't remember a thing passed that man's eyes. Passed her eyes. I still don't remember. All I know is that if I'd dealt with the pain of losing her, it probably wouldn't have happened. And then I wouldn't have felt so vulnerable for so long afterward. All I could think of as I was recovering was what could have happened to Serah." She sniffed as she was steadily crying now. Trying to keep her voice steady, she marched on, as she always did. "And what could have happened if I hadn't survived. Even after I had healed and the marks were no longer visible on my skin, I could still see them... I could still feel them. The invisible and the internal scars were still very prominent. Yet still... in the face of all that, I denied my feelings, and those scars, and those demons of my past that tore at me at night. Because Lightning was invincible... and I was going to become her for-" And that's when her voice finally broke and she stopped, not wanting to fall apart in front of Hope, even though being in his arms felt like the safest place in the universe.

"Light?" They sat, quiet taking the room for a minute while he held her against him until she pulled away, bangs obscuring her expression from view.

"I don't want you to hide everything away, Hope. Horrific things happened to you and I know that it's hard to face them but you have to. It will make you better and safer and I'll feel less worthless and-"

He hugged her, effectively stopping her from spouting off more of her self loathing bull shit. "Stop, Light. You're not worthless. You're not." _You're not._ "You mean more to me than you will ever know and..." He swallowed, unsure of how she would take his words, but he said them because he needed to. "... having you here means the world to me and no one could help me the way you do. Who knows what state I'd be in if you weren't here." Pulling her away so he could look into her eyes, he showed her his sincerity in his expression, while evaluating her face for how she was taking his words.

Shock was all that seemed to set in. It shouldn't have been so shocking. She knew he cared deeply for her and knew that he was extremely open and frank when it came to his emotions and caring about people, yet his words still shocked her. Maybe her presence was helping him, but... that wasn't enough was it? Or was it just her?

"I can't... I know I have to talk about what happened, I just..." He had to say it. "I can't tell you."

And there it was. It was about her. He wasn't keeping it secret because he couldn't deal, it was because he couldn't tell _her_. It was because he didn't trust her. It was because she had abandoned him and she had shattered the bond they had held. It was her fault.

Regret soon came into play within him as he watched her face fall and as she wrenched herself from his grip. She stood and turned away from him. "No, Light, please-" He stood and tried to touch her arm, but she jerked it away. "I didn't..." _Way to put your foot in your mouth, dumbass._ "I'm afraid." If admitting it would get her to turn around and face him, if admitting it would get her to stop hating herself, then he would. "I'm afraid of what you'll think of me and I'm afraid that... that you'll only blame yourself more... if you know the truth." A last sniff sounded from her and for a second he thought that what he said wasn't going to be enough, but he watched her shoulders relax and heard her sigh. "I don't want you to tell me you won't place the blame on your shoulders and I don't want you to tell me that you won't think any less of me, even if those things are true. I just... please... give me time to tell you. I just can't right now." She turned to face him, her expression still surprisingly, incredibly vulnerable.

"Okay."

Walking towards her, he brushed his fingertips against hers and released a long waited breath when she grabbed hold of his hand. "I'm sorry about your mom and what happened. I know it must have been hard. We all deal with pain in different ways and... I guess... Lightning was your way to cope."

"Is," she whispered, her head still low.

"What?"

"Is, she _is_ my way of coping. All these years and she's still holding me together." She let out a hollow chuckle as she stepped away from him. "It was my past. I just wanted you to know what can happen if you bottle your pain and emotions up. As long as you're talking to someone... I guess I can live with the wait." She put a hand on her hip as she smirked. _Liar. You know you still want to know. You know you won't be able to continue standing there watching as he has his episodes and wonder if knowing would allow you to help him through it._

_You're a liar._

A harsh knock sounded from the door causing Hope to jump. He looked to Lightning to see if it was alright to let someone in. She composed herself and nodded. "Come in."

Nivien stepped in, her eyes, holding frustration and worry, flitted between the two of them before settling on Hope. "I'm sorry, Director, but I need to speak with you. It's about Mr. Leonald."

He gave her a warm smile as he walked back towards his desk. "What's with the formalities, Nivien?"

The corners of her lips twitched upwards, but she was determined to keep herself serious. "Sorry... Hope... but this is important."

"Okay. I was hoping you'd have found something out. Kori was asking about his recent activities earlier today."

"Well..." Nivien glanced in Lightning's direction and gave her a wary, impatient look.

Lightning could tell what the lieutenant wanted, Hope alone to talk, and though she was loathe to give it to her, she did have something she wanted to do. She had one last person she could try to talk to. "Lieutenant, if you wouldn't mind taking my place, I do have something I'd like to accomplish." She looked to Hope who gave her a curious expression, but gave her his 'permission', and Nivien gave her a silent nod in return as well.

* * *

Lightning stood against the wall outside of her apartment, thoughts still enraptured in her previous conversation with Hope. Things had definitely not gone as planned and it irritated her to no end. Not only had she not gotten the desired information out of him, but she had gotten extremely and horribly emotional in front of him. Lightning groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose as her cheeks flared in embarrassment. That had definitely not been a part of the plan. But now she knew more of the reason why he was keeping it all so secret from her. _'I'm afraid of what you'll think of me and I'm afraid that... that you'll only blame yourself more... if you know the truth.'_ He was probably right in one instance, that she'd still blame herself even if she knew everything. _But how could you ever think that I'd think any less of you, Hope?_

Even with Hope's pleas for her to wait and his explanation as to why he wanted her to, she couldn't stop her burning curiosity. She _had_ to know. She was so close to him yet she felt that this secret seemed to force a wall between them and she couldn't stand it. If anything, she was his guard. She needed all the knowledge she could get in order to properly protect Hope. How else would she be prepared enough to protect him? And so, she was now turning to her last resort. The only other person who knew what happened in that Ark other than the dead l'Cie fiends and the poor girl buried out in Harleen cemetery. The Pulsian woman who was still such a stranger to Lightning. Zalera.

Zalera approached Lightning who was standing against the wall by what she assumed was the sergeant's apartment It was extremely odd that Lightning of all people requested to speak with her. It was even more peculiar that this conversation didn't involve Hope. "Hey, sorry it was such a bother to get ahold of me. I still don't quite know how to work this thing." She briefly held up her comm before placing it back in her pocket. "So what was it you wanted..." Pushing off from the wall, Lightning took out her key and opened the door, holding it open for Zalera to enter. Seeing as the soldier was no longer obscuring her face with her hand, Zalera could clearly see that she had previously been very upset to the point of tears. It wasn't terribly obvious. In fact it seemed to have been a while ago by the faintness of the signs, and Lightning did pretty well at hiding her emotions, except that temper she had. It was the slight redness that rimmed her eyes and the subtle puffiness beneath them that gave her away. To avoid risking flaring that temper that Lightning had, though, the warrior sharply halted her observations and walked into her room.

They sat in silence for what appeared to be a few hours, but was instead a few painfully awkward minutes. Lightning wasn't sure how to talk to the woman beside her and she wasn't sure of what she would say even if she did. She was tense at best, as well as extremely disappointed and disgusted by her previous actions of falling apart just twenty minutes earlier, so she wasn't exactly in the best mood for chatting, anyhow. But this wasn't something that could wait. This was her last chance to find some answers and she'd be damned if she wasn't going to do this now. "I wanted to ask you some questions..."

The tone was the first warning sign, then there was the sinking feeling in her gut. Zalera had a sneaking suspicion as to what this was about, but she wasn't angry, upset, or scared. Actually, she was rather curious as to why it took so long for the girl to come to her.

"It's about the Ark. What happened in it, to be more specific." Lightning stood as she inwardly fought the shakiness in her voice. _A nervous and emotional wreck already. And the conversation has barely even started-_

"I'm afraid I can't help you." Zalera crossed her left leg over her right and sat back, trying to ignore the look of disbelief on the girl's face.

"But you haven't even-"

Zalera looked deep into her icy blue eyes, wanting to make her point so they could move on and not have to have this topic come up again in the future. "I figured you'd wish to speak with me about it sooner or later. Especially since Hope's clammed up about it. And I've considered telling you, even. Of course I won't. But I did take the time to consider what I would say." Lightning looked like she was ready to gut her, and she couldn't really blame her for that. The soldier really cared for Hope and would of course want to know the vicious details of what exactly happened to them, or him, really.

Lightning sneered at the woman's words and crossed her arms, ignoring the slight magnetic pull towards her gunblade that her fingers felt. "Why 'of course'?"

"There's many reasons, really. One is that you don't have any right to know what happened to us. You think you do, but you really don't." Lightning bared her teeth at her to which Zalera gave her a dull look of defiance in return, not intimidated in the least. "Second is that if Hope doesn't want you to know, then going behind his back and finding out anyway is a betrayal of his trust. I thought you cared for him, but if your going to do something as low and despicable as that..." A growl sounded from Lightning as she was most likely ready to rip the Pulsian's throat out. She didn't meet the snarling woman's eyes, however, as she was too devoted to getting her point across. "Three, you wouldn't want to find out from someone else, not deep down. You may want to know, but what you really want is for Hope to tell you. As much as you feel the need to know the gruesome details of our torture, this is really about the fact that it's killing you that he's keeping something from you. And last, but most certainly not least, you are being selfish. You're asking me to recount Hope's, mine, and most horrifyingly Yeul's torture just to tame your curiosity." Zalera's face contorted in pain and disgust as she turned to face the girl before her.

Lightning stood shocked, and pissed, but mostly shocked. It seemed Zalera knew every bit of her true motives for her curiosity, even when Lightning hadn't known why she'd wanted to know so badly herself. Not completely, anyway. Still she wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of knowing that. Clenching her fists, she bit her lip as she struggled to swallow the warrior's harsh and intuitive words, and find a way to still convince her. She needed to know at least something. Yes, she didn't truly have a right to know. Yes, it was terribly wrong of her to go around Hope, especially when he had asked her to wait and she had accepted. Yes, she would _much_ rather hear it from Hope. Yes, she was being completely selfish in unnecessarily asking a torture victim the details of her days of captivity. But she was desperate. There was no other word for it. She was completely and utterly desperate. She'd be close to a mental breakdown if she didn't find out something soon.

"I know all of that and... I'm sorry. Maker, I'm sorry, but I can't keep going on this way. I'm losing my mind worrying about everything that happened to him. And he's been dealing with it all on his own and not in the healthiest of ways either. I don't know how to help him, but I think if I understood what happened-I'd be able to get him through this... I just need to..."

Lightning hated getting this worked up and she loathed letting a stranger see her so upset, but she had to understand. "Please, you're my last hope. I've done more than ask Hope. I even asked Amodar and Rygdea. Do you know how embarrassing and unbearably uncomfortable it was to ask the general, my boss? For someone like me? And still I got nothing." Lightning let out a loud sigh. "Amodar gave me a hollow smile. He said it was a private matter between him, Rygdea and Hope. That he wouldn't ever consider breaking the confidentiality. And from Rygdea-" A pained look crossed her features as she thought of the conversation. "I was met with a dark look and a pat on the shoulder. 'Some things are better unknown,' he said. But I couldn't accept it, the not knowing, the tossing and turning at night, wondering, witnessing all of Hope's little episodes and being unable to stop them. I even went back a few days later and demanded to know. Threatened him with my fist... and my gunblade. He finally yelled at me. He said that he couldn't. Even if he wanted to... even if it wasn't a betrayal of Hope's trust... he could never bring himself to speak of it."

Watching Lightning's body begin to tremble, Zalera felt her resolve crumble. The soldier's stoic nature seemed to have fallen apart and she assumed that this was the Lightning that Hope had spoken so fondly of in the Ark. Although Zalera began to feel for the girl, she knew she was right. It was none of Lightning's business and if Hope didn't want her to know, then she shouldn't.

Lightning wasn't sure how to stop herself now. She remembered how Rygdea looked when he spoke with her that last time. His face was so grave and his words were so tightly strung with anger. This only reinforced her worries of how bad things had been. "If he couldn't even talk about it then how-how bad is it really? I have to know. I-" Her words began to catch and she held the back of her hand to her mouth as she attempted to calm down.

And as the warrior watched her begin to mildly hyperventilate, she found she could stand it no longer. This secret was killing the poor girl and if someone didn't tell her something, she was going to break. _But how can I tell her without betraying Hope?_

And then she figured something out. She could tell Lightning about her experience in the Ark. It would be telling her without really telling her. Plus she had actually been wanting to talk with someone about everything that had happened. Where Hope had opted to secrecy, Zalera wanted to let it all out. She wasn't really close to anyone to speak about her problems except for Hope, but that would probably do him more harm than do her good. So maybe telling Lightning could help not only the deteriorating soldier, but help her find a sense of closure.

Looking back up, she was relieved to find that Lightning was calming down. "Sit," asked Zalera as she gestured to the seat beside her.

Finally finding herself reaching some normalcy, Lightning shook her head. "I'm fine."

"Sit," Zalera commanded. If she was going to do this, it was going to be on her terms and the stubborn soldier act would only be irritating. "You're asking something of me... so you will sit."

Lightning glared at the woman for her demanding tone and the fact that she would expect her to just jump to her commands, but she did have a point. She reluctantly sat in the seat with a huff and waited for Zalera to carry on.

Half smirking as the girl conceded, Zalera began to consider how to address Lightning's question. What happened in the Ark? "Rygdea is like a father to him, yeah?" Lightning glanced in her direction and nodded as she rubbed her cheek in frustration. "So hearing about everything Hope went through was probably difficult enough. Talking about it... saying it would probably be too painful for him."

Lightning lowered her head as she listened. She _had_ been quite selfish lately, asking such painful things from people. Even people she cared deeply for.

"I won't tell you what happened to Hope. That's something for him to share. But I can tell you about my stay in the Ark. Is that all right?"

Although it wasn't what she was looking for, it would lead to some answers. And it would lead to finding out more about the strange Pulsian. Two Zirnitras with one stone. Nodding once more, she sat back and allowed herself to relax as she was going to finally be able to know something about what's been happening to Hope.

Zalera nodded back. "As you may have been told, those... l'Cie that took us weren't after me. They only took me to make it easier to break Yeul." Her voice remained surprisingly steady and calm as she delved into her memories, but she wasn't sure how 'steady and calm' she would be by the end of this conversation. "When they came, we were all just sitting around merrily eating and laughing like fools, completely unaware of the impending attackers and our subsequent dark fates. Most of us were strong, experienced warriors and none of us even heard or noticed..." She shook her head at the shame and disappointment she still held for herself and fellow members of her tribe. "We were fierce and strong, but we never stood a chance against their skillful magical power. Within minutes our numbers dwindled. I wanted to stay and fight on but... I had to protect Yeul. She was my priority. So I led her away and ran. As we retreated, we could still hear their cries. The guilt began to eat away at me until I could stand it no longer. I hid Yeul and made her promise me to stay. Then I ran back. I wanted to see if there was anyone else I could save. Even if it was just one person. Just one woman. Or just one child. But they were dead."

Turning her head to stare at the woman, Lightning found that Zalera had her eyes closed, her hands now firmly grasping her chakram. With her story, the roseate wouldn't have been surprised to find her close to a breakdown. But Zalera held herself in a calm state, keeping herself just enough in reality to refrain from getting lost in her past.

"When I reached them, I remained out of sight, but I could see everything. My tribe was dead. Only seven were left kneeling in the dead's blood in front of Barsilisk. He was walking before them, watching them, asking them where Yeul was hiding. He even offered them freedom if they gave her up." Zalera's face scrunched up in disgust before changing to a proud smile as she carried on. "Even if anyone knew where she was, they would never tell. We all put her life above our own. Therefore I knew their fate before it even happened." She exhaled slowly, hoping to keep her inner equilibrium in tact. "I ran back to Yeul as I heard the survivor's final cries and Barsilisk yell to his men to fan out. I bolted toward her, praying she was still safe. I found her huddled in a ball right where I'd left her. She kept asking me question after question about our tribe, but I told her to stay quiet. As I went to lead her away, to where, I had no clue, I saw the familiar flash in her eyes and she stilled in my grasp. I cursed Etro for her timing as I tried in vain to move her. After a moment, her vision was over, but my worry upheld as a look of fear crossed her face and she whispered something to me."

_"They're going to catch us."_

"Before I could even react or think to reply, I was struck on the back of the head and was out like a light."

* * *

_Zalera awoke to Yeul's soft whimpers. The first thing she became aware of was the tight, rough cuffs that bound her to a stone table beneath her. She immediately struggled and writhed in vain. All she did was begin to cause the binds to rip into her skin._

_"Stop, Zalera! It won't help."_

_Jerking her head in Yeul's direction, her fear only increased. Yeul was tied up similarly to her right, a fresh bruise clinging to her cheek. Flaring anger coursed through her causing her to only struggle more. She was supposed to protect Yeul. How could she lead her into this? "Everything's going to be all right, Yeul. I'm going to get us out of here." She lied to her, unknowing that it was a lie for she thought, at the time, that it was the truth. She really thought that she could get them out. Because when it came to protecting Yeul, she couldn't fail._

_Yeul nodded as a tear fell down her cheek. "Okay," she whispered with a small smile, knowing well what would happen to both of them. Etro had allowed her to see. She knew. Even if all she had seen was a glimpse, she knew what their future would hold._

_A new voice filled the room as a man descended the stairs. A man they would later come to know as Barsilisk, a leader of a band of barbaric l'Cie. "How sweet. It's a shame my wife couldn't be here. She always took more pleasure in this than me. I always found this as more of a job." A smile was present on his face, confident, yet weak._

_The first thing Zalera took note of was the brand on his neck. This meant that their fate was most likely tied to some focus of his. "What do you want from us?"_

_Folding his hands behind his back, he drew closer. "From you, nothing. But from her... she is everything we want." He closed in on Yeul until he was standing above the trembling girl whose eyes did not waver off of Zalera._

_The green-haired woman thrashed against her binds, feeling more furious and deathly afraid by the minute. "You stay away from her, you sick bastard," she snarled at the man._

_"You don't even know me."_

_"You killed off our tribe, kidnapped us, and have us strapped to tables. In what way does that not make you a-" And that's when she felt all of the air suddenly slip from her lungs. She could no longer breathe and she found herself struggling for an entirely different reason than to escape. She needed to breathe. Since the man had his arm in the air, his hand in a gloved fist, it wasn't hard to find the cause. An interesting thing, though, was that it seemed that he didn't find pleasure in harming Zalera as he was grimacing._

_"Stop! Stop," Yeul cried. Tears flooded her cheeks as she stared wide-eyed at her protector. "Please, stop." Her eyes finally met the man above her as she plead for him to allow Zalera the simple right of air._

_Barsilisk obliged and released the warrior from his magic. He sighed as she took gulps of breaths and her body began to relax. The guardian was an effective tool after all. "This will go much faster and be far less painful if you answer my question now. Where are the crystals?"_

_Yeul swallowed. She anticipated the question thanks to her visions, but it didn't make this situation any easier. For she also knew his next move when she would refuse to answer. "I can't. I won't betray the goddess. I won't betray the people of this planet."_

_Zalera was momentarily confused until she remembered past conversations with Yeul about her visions. They were talking about the gods' crystals. Crystals no one would search for with good intent. Yeul knew their locations and she wouldn't tell a soul... if she could help it. Before she could speak, a surge of thunder magic shot through Zalera._

_"Are you sure?"_

_Yeul looked into Zalera's pained eyes. "I'm sorry, Z."_

_Mustering up her strength, she nodded. "I know." She understood. Yeul had a duty to Etro and to humanity. And Zalera had a duty to Yeul. She would endure, for her._

* * *

"It wasn't long after that when the torture started. It was mainly one man, Sebastian, who would torture us. He would use his powers, weaker than Barsilisk's by far, but still very powerful. He shocked us, burned us... he enjoyed every minute, you could tell. His favorite times were when he wouldn't use his powers at all. He would beat us and strangle us and... The worst was when he would use the knives. He carved into us relentlessly and all we could do was scream." Rubbing her palm into her eye, Zalera cringed at her next words. "I could stand the torture. But I couldn't stand hearing her scream. Watching them do all of those things to her. I begged her to tell them. I wanted her to be free whether it meant her being released or even... but she wouldn't."

Lightning kept her head down as she sat there, taking it all in. The woman had been through a lot. She couldn't imagine being in Zalera's position if Hope had been Yeul.

"In the end, they won the battle and she gave them the information. I assumed it was after they had beaten me into a pulverized mess until I lost consciousness, because when I awoke, she was gone and Castea stood over me, her grin wider than any I'd seen." Zalera opened her eyes and looked over to Lightning. "And soon after was when they brought in Hope."

The soldier shook her head slowly, trying to grasp at everything the woman had endured. "But-"

"No," spoke Zalera solemnly. "If it's about Hope, I can't-"

"What's going on with him now?"

Zalera released her grip on the chakram, her hand protesting its movement, and locked her hands together on her lap. "You mean when he tenses up and seems like he's somewhere else? When your voice can't even reach him and he seems to be filled with fear or pain?"

Nodding, Lightning added, "And how do I help him," while her eyes bore into the warrior's.

"It's most likely strong flashbacks. His mind is trying to deal and it may be hard for him to differentiate between his past in the Ark and reality."

Swallowing the information, she turned to the woman with one last question. She had many more, but she figured she had already asked enough of Zalera. "How do you go on? How do you continue to live after everything that happened?"

"For a while I didn't know how to. I prayed for days after Yeul's death for something to end my suffering. But after Hope came and we began to depend on each other and I learned more about him, I decided that I would find a way to protect Hope and the crystals. I owed Hope for saving me and I knew he would need help with protecting the crystals from future evil beings." She cautiously cast her eyes over the girl's form. "I know he already has a protector, but I thought... that it wouldn't hurt."

Lightning knew this was Zalera's way of asking permission. Permission to also remain as a guardian of sorts over Hope. She could see it in the warrior's eyes. See that fear that she may actually say no. That Lightning might take away her one reason to go on. But she would never do that. She smirked in Zalera's direction. "Hope can be a handful and I guess I could use the help."

* * *

"I still don't understand how he got this way." Hope stood with his side leaning against the wall, arms crossed. Nivien still wasn't completely sure what Cass was into but she was sure it was trouble. From his secrecy, to his avoidance of her and his astounding ways of losing her while she was tailing him, she knew he was up to something. And Hope was now only more frustrated.

Nivien stepped towards him until she was about three feet before him. "You said he was bullied before the fall?"

Hope sighed. "We both were. And I guess I get that he could be trying to prove that he can handle danger and bad guys now or that this could be entangled with losing his mom or even us, but why can't he at least... I don't know, talk to us about it? Or even to Kori? I just don't get it..." Raking his hand through his hair, Hope grew confused by his friend's silence and odd new expression.

Being so close to Hope after so long, Nivien couldn't stand it anymore. She wanted to be with him again. Even if he had broken her heart and blatantly ignored her afterward, she stupidly still felt the urge to be with him. As much as she cared about Cass and wanted to make sure he was okay, her diligence and determination in watching out for him was mostly for Hope.

"Hope, I..." She drew closer to him as he came off the wall. Her hand reached up to caress his cheek, but Hope grabbed her wrist and stopped its ascent.

"Please don't, Niven." He pleaded with his eyes for her to stop. He didn't want to hurt her, but he couldn't be with her anymore. He had never truly loved her the way she loved him, for he had found that he had, and probably always would carry a torch for Lightning. A terrible thought roamed into his head as he thought about his place with Lightning. He probably felt the same way towards Lightning that Nivien felt for him. And her reaction would probably be the same as his now, refusal to reciprocate.

Immediately backing away, she apologized and thanked the Maker when there was a knock on the door.

Hope sighed and gave Nivien an apologetic look before addressing whoever it was asking for entrance. "Yeah?"

Lightning came in a moment later and Nivien didn't waste another minute before saying her goodbyes and exiting. Throwing a questioning glance toward Hope, she found her curiosity growing as he just shook his head, wanting her to leave it alone. But she didn't let her thoughts remain on the lieutenant for long. Instead she turned her attention to Hope. There were still so many lingering questions that were begging to be answered, but her thirst for knowledge about the Ark had temporarily been quenched. Her everlasting worry about him and his state of mind, however, had only grown. So, determined to address the fact that she wanted to find a way to help him through whatever was going on in his head, she stood before him.

But as his eyes found hers, she found them staring at her in an intriguing manner. A way she had never seen the young man look at her in all her time with him. Before she could utter a word, Hope spoke.

"I want to thank you, Light. I want to thank you for being patient with me. I know I've been off since I got back, but please know that my hesitation in telling you is not about you." Two seconds of her being in the room and Hope had practically read her mind. She was going to say something about wanting to help him through his post-torture problems whether he told her of his time or not, but she had already helped. "I know you want to help me through everything, but you are already helping me. Just by being here for me and waiting for me to tell you. By allowing me that small amount of space while still staying close and watching over me."

Guilt. That was all she felt as she listened to him. Guilt. And a strangely warm sensation at the intensity of his stare and the strength and sincerity of his words.

"I could have never made it this far in my life without you. You know... when I was running here, with Zalera slowly dying in my arms, I began losing hope. I found myself floundering to stay strong and I was struggling to keep moving forward. I was losing my fight. My fight to survive. But just as I thought that I couldn't continue, I remembered something. I remembered the words of a very brave soldier and those words helped me move. They helped me find my way back here. 'Fighting without hope is no way to live, it's just another way to die _.'_ " Hope bit his lip as Lightning stared at him dumbfounded. He didn't dare bring up the dozens of times he _had_ given up hope, given up life, and chosen death. The many times he'd begged for the sweet salvation. He would never tell her that. "You have helped me in more ways than you can imagine, Light."

Lightning swallowed. She was in complete awe at the young man before her and the fact that in a couple minutes of conversation, he'd managed to erase so much of her worry and fill her with such strange feelings. Her heart was beating a mile a minute and her stomach was doing odd flip flops. These sensations and feelings only increased as he gently took her forearm in his hand before placing his other hand on top of it.

All her previous talk of scars earlier had led him to thinking about the ones still very prominent on her skin. Having practiced with his magic quite a lot over the past two weeks, Hope was confident that at least his healing spells were up to snuff. So as he looked down at her left forearm, he decided it was about time to erase that burn scar that still lingered there from the day he went missing.

He smiled as the familiar green glow flowed from his hand and into her skin, taking the mark away with it. "There, that was never supposed to be there in the first place." Looking up back into her eyes, he saw her same stunned expression remained. He was a little nervous at her lack of response, but was very happy she had yet to scold him for anything. So, with this in mind, he knelt down in front of her right thigh and repeated his process of healing her scars, these being the gargonopsid claw marks. And again, he healed another scar on her shoulder, caused from what, he didn't know. Only this time, as he drew his hand back, he found himself leaning into her and laying a soft, gentle kiss over the mark's previous spot.

Drawing back, Hope blushed. He wasn't sure why he'd just done what he did, he only knew he would probably be getting his lights knocked out in the next few seconds. Rubbing the back of his head, he chuckled nervously. "Sorry," he whispered.

Her mind was blank, thoughtless. She didn't even know what to think if she could. _Did he really just...?_ She was completely unsure of how to move forward. Every cohesive thought was lost. As she had felt his lips on her shoulder, she had turned to jelly and her mind had turned to mush. It was as if this young man had turned this strong, stoic soldier into a puddle on the floor.

As she stared at him, it was like she was seeing him in a new light. His wondrous words were still running through her mind. Her eyes were staring into his and she could have sworn that she'd never seen a more mesmerizing sight than those amazing emerald orbs. She could smell his fresh scent lingering in the air and it traveled straight into her heart that was now pounding so fast that she was sure she would keel over of a heart attack any minute. His touch had left her skin all tingly and warm, begging for his caress to return.

His face was only inches from hers now and as she noticed this, her gaze dropped to his lips. Lips that held such a perfect pout. Lips that were parted as if in an open invitation. Lips that had just been on her skin. Try as she might, Lightning couldn't tear her eyes away from those lips. They called to her. It was like a strong siren song played in her mind and drew her towards them. Before she knew what she was doing, she leaned in and brushed her lips against his.

It lasted all of four seconds before she retreated back quickly, staring at him with a shocked look he could have sworn mirrored his own as if she was just as stunned by her actions as he was. Their eyes were wide, cheeks turning a deep red, as their hearts had briefly stopped beating. It had caught him completely off guard and he couldn't seem to comprehend what had happened. Blinking, he struggled for a response that was just out of reach. Even the simple and usually automatic response of kissing back was eluding him. _She just..._ As he began to finally come out of his stupor, he looked up just in time to see his door slam shut. Lightning was no longer standing in front of him. He had missed his chance to react. He had missed his chance to kiss her back.


	15. Clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "For once... I wanted to protect her and not the other way around. But it seems that no matter what I do, she always ends up hurt."

The run from Hope's office to her apartment was a blur. Her shaky hands fumbled in her pocket for her key, her body and mind still in complete shock over what had just transpired. By the time she'd made it into her room, she felt like her heart was about to shatter. She couldn't begin to comprehend her own actions and how they had led her to such a state of devastation.

Her back slid against her door until she sat against it, her breathing starting to calm and her mind attempting to think. She ran over the span of events that had just previously occurred, paying attention to each tiny detail, each small feeling, so she could understand why she would make such a stupid, irrational move.

It was wrong of her, she knew it. Making such an impulsive move, free of thought, contradicted who she was and how she normally acted. But somehow she'd gotten so caught up in her emotions and every incredible thing that was Hope Estheim, that she couldn't ignore the need to be close to him. The need to feel his lips on her again. The need to _feel_.

That was it, she had allowed herself to feel, to get too close. And look what happened. Hope hadn't kissed back, not even a little. He made no move to reciprocate any such feelings and it confused her. Everyone had told her that Hope felt for her in _that_ way. It made sense and had been evident in his actions. He was always there for her. He was always initiating close physical contact from hand holding to hugs. He'd said such amazingly sweet words and then... _He kissed my shoulder. What the hell was that about if not a sign that he held the same feelings?_ Maybe she'd imagined it. Maybe she'd just imagined that wondrous sensation of his smooth lips on her skin. That was the only way she could rationalize his reaction to her rash actions.

Lightning shook her head as she tried to just forget about it. Maybe if she just laid the incident to rest, Hope would as well and they could forget the exchange ever happened. _No. He's probably_ _disgusted by me now. I mean how can I have feelings for little Hope? How could I have possibly wanted to taint our innocent bond that we share? Nothing can ever go back to the way things were. Not now that he knows that I... tha_ _t I know he doesn't... that I know how much I truly care for him..._ There was no going back now and the realization of this began to cause the world to crash around her. This was exactly why she thought before acting. Moves like this ruined things, and she couldn't help but think that she had just ruined the best friendship she'd ever had.

As she delved deeper into her own self-beratement and soon to be depression, Lightning found her thoughts lingering on the kiss. It had been a quick, chaste kiss, that could hardly be called a kiss at all, but it still astounded her. That kiss had been one of the longest, most terrifying, and most incredible moments of her life. In that moment, where her lips had felt the sweet friction against his warm, soft ones, it had seemed that time had stopped and those four seconds were reserved for them and them alone. She knew now, without a shadow of a doubt, that she cared for him as much more than a friend. And it crippled her to know that he didn't feel the same.

Sitting there, Lightning thought back in her life. She tried to find a time where she had ever felt this indescribable feeling. Only one time came to mind. She had been fourteen, just a few weeks before her mother had collapsed, showing her first signs of illness. It was back when she was still a kid, a lovestruck teenager, to be more precise. Back when she was full of innocence and before death and war had had a chance to strip her of it.

His name had been Carver Eidleston. She had had a crush on him for weeks and one night, in the dog days of summer, he had kissed her. It had been her first kiss and was eerily similar to the one she'd just given Hope. Difference being, she'd kissed him back. Her first kiss soon turned into her first make out before her sister came out and interrupted. Serah was giggling hard and immediately started teasing her blushing older sister.

They'd dated for awhile, Lightning feeling like all was right in the world, that she was the luckiest person alive. That was before the night she'd come home from her second date with the boy and found her mother passed out at the bottom of their stairs.

Her mother was admitted into the hospital after that night and would soon never see the outside of those hauntingly white walls again. As she soon realized that she needed to take care of her sister and be there for her mother, Lightning broke up with Carver. She didn't need the distraction.

Lightning felt odd thinking about the boy now. It had been a silly teenage romance that had been such a miniscule part of her life. But he had been the only boy she had ever been close to. He had been the only boy she had let in. That fact had actually made him a huge part of her life. But even so, though her feelings for him at the time had seemed to dominate her world, she had merely been infatuated with him. Her feelings for Carver were nothing compared to her feelings for Hope. This was so much more than a little crush or a mere infatuation.

She should have learned from her experience with Carver. Guys had no place in her life, in her heart. All they did was mess her up, make her sloppy, and distract her. Who's to say that if she hadn't been so busy in her little teenage bliss that she wouldn't have noticed something wrong with her mother and have been able to prevent her death?

Standing up, Lightning pressed her fingers to her lips, still reveling in the lingering feeling of her and Hope's gentle touch. She wanted desperately to escape this feeling of torment, to rewind and take back that kiss that would change their relationship forever. Yet, she didn't. That kiss meant everything to her now. It filled her with such joy and she wanted nothing more than to experience more kisses and more intimate things with the man that occupied her thoughts more often than not. But she couldn't. He hadn't responded. He didn't want to be with her. Simple as that.

_Maker, stop it, Lightning. You're a soldier. You're an emotionless, battle hardened soldier and no man can do this to you. Not even Hope._ As she began to finally fall back into her usual cold, collected self, she found her heart racing at the pounding on her door and the man just behind it.

Panting, Hope slid to a stop in front of her door, praying that she was there and hadn't run off somewhere too far away in order to avoid him. He needed to tell her, to make her understand his stupidity and how much he truly loved her even though he'd failed to show her proof of such feelings. Raising a gloved fist, he knocked tiredly on the door, having expended his strength in his mad haste to catch her. "Light?" _Please be here._ As he heard a small gasp from the other side of the annoying barrier, the young man found a smile creeping onto his face. "Light, please let me in." His key could open any door in the building, but as much as he wanted to bust right in and tell her of his undying love for her, he held himself back, granting her space and allowing her to make the decision of seeing him or not. Holding his breath for her to say something or make any sort of indication she'd heard and was processing his words, he bit his lip as his leg nervously began to shake.

As she heard him ask to be allowed entrance, she could hear the pleading tones in his voice. She didn't understand it. He didn't want to be with her, so why would he run after her? Why add insult to injury? Seeing as she could still hear his ragged breath and could imagine that he wasn't going away anytime soon, she let out a resigned sigh. "What do you want, Hope?"

Hope cringed at the iciness in her voice, but was slightly intrigued by the timidness that was present as well. "You know what I want. I want to talk. We _need_ to talk-"

"Just forget about it. I don't know why I even-"

"Yes, you do," Hope hastily replied, getting further irritated with the door before him as he craved to see her. He needed to speak with her face to face. He couldn't tell her through a door. " _Light_." Her name fell from his lips in a pained whisper. "Don't do this. Don't be a coward, Farron." He smirked slightly as he could imagine her reaction to his words. He would probably pay for it later, but if it got her to open the door then... "You don't just kiss me and run away and pretend that nothing happened. That's not the soldier I know. The Lightning I know doesn't run from anything." He pursed his lips as he rested his forehead against the wood, his hands grasping the door frame at the sides of his head.

Lightning shook her head at his words as she choked on the fact that he really didn't know her at all. _Oh, how wrong you are._ Choosing to focus on the fact that Hope had mistaken her confusion, embarrassment, and shame for cowardice, she snapped at him. "You've got a lot of nerve saying something like that to me."

Chuckling softly before sighing, Hope's hands slid down to his sides before he stood up. "Please let me in." A few torturous moments passed where he had almost succumb to the thought that he had screwed up in an unfixable way that would haunt him for the rest of his surely lonely and miserable life before her door opened.

Deciding to face him and get the answers she was seeking, she turned the knob and let the door open itself as she walked away to the kitchen, putting off looking directly at him. She heard him enter slowly, almost cautiously, before shutting the door quietly. Turning around, she leaned herself back on the front of the counter, eyes trained on the floor.

Seeing as she was avoiding his gaze, Hope went over to her, but stayed a comfortable distance away, though his body screamed to touch her. He sat on the side of the couch on the arm rest, facing her. Biting his lip, he fought to find the words that should have come so easily, but clung to the unreachable recesses of his mind. Although he wanted to avoid sitting in what had to be the most awkward and uncomfortable silences of his life, he wanted to bypass the jumbled mess of an apology and confession that threatened to tumble out of him like word vomit.

Tapping her foot as her nerves and impatience began to get to her, she still refused to look at him. She was afraid of what she would see on him. But as the silence continued on, she found herself having to restrain her eyes from looking at him. _Okay, I opened the door. I let you in. Speak, dammit, before I-_ She jumped slightly as he cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry."

It was a soft, barely audible whisper, but she'd heard it and still struggled to understand what he wanted. _That's your big explanation? Well... it should probably be me that clears the field. I am the one that... kissed you._

Sliding his hand down his face, he looked up at her, hoping to find his strength in those gorgeous azure eyes as he usually could, but they were magnetized to the floor. "Please look at me." He watched as she squeezed her eyes shut and her hands that were at her sides, gripping the counter her back was leaning against, grasped the wood tighter before she let out a slow steady breath, her gaze finally catching his with a blank look.

He smiled at her attempt to hide her inner thoughts and feelings from him. He knew her far too well for her mask to work on him now. Swallowing harshly, he readied himself for his next words. "I love you."

She stared at him. The blank stare that remained caused him to wonder if she'd heard him. But soon her stoic expression turned to one of almost feral confusion. He waited for his words to properly seep in and for a response to come. When he was sure that he wasn't getting one, he rubbed his hands on his thighs while standing. Giving her a determined, yet gentle and tender look, he repeated himself, finding no other way to explain himself to her. "I love you, Light."

_He... loves me? I don't..._ Feeling quite overwhelmed by his words and this sudden turn in events, Lightning let out a shaky breath, unsure of what to say or how she should even feel. Yes, she had kissed him. Yes, she had expected some sort of immediate response other than his look of complete shock that she'd obviously mistaken for terror and disgust. But this isn't exactly what she'd had in mind. Truthfully, she wasn't quite sure what she'd expected, if she'd expected anything at all. Her kissing him had just happened. It was a sudden action her body had forced her to make before her mind had had a chance to register what she was doing.

Of course when she had been freaking out mere minutes ago, all she could think about was the fact that he hadn't reciprocated and what that meant for their future as friends. She hadn't given any thought or ever entertained the idea of what it would mean if he had responded. Since he was now, in fact, confessing his love for her, this now left her with one dominating question. Where do we go from here? _I don't know if I'm ready... I'm not ready for this._ She knew she cared for him deeply and wanted to be with him in ways she had never wanted to be with anyone before, but... _love...? Could I even..._

Her silence stretched on and almost completely unnerved him, but he continued, taking this opportunity to finally tell the soldier how he had felt for her for so many years. She had had enough courage to kiss him and he had been a complete dunce in letting his chance slip passed him. He wasn't going to waste another minute. He didn't want to freak her out and overload her with his feelings, however. He had to find just the right way to phrase it. Unfortunately, Hope was finding this task to be extremely difficult in the face of this picture of faultlessness before him. "And I know that... it's... that's a bit much for you right now and I know that you're not ready for such a... commitment, but that's okay." As he continued with his words, internally terrified at her coming response, Hope slowly took her hands in his, noting the limpness in her digits, and laced their fingers together. Their gazes locked and he hoped that this wasn't too much for the soldier. "Just know that when you are, I am."

Heart fluttering at the contact and the way he'd so passionately and easily announced his feelings, Lightning fought to breathe. It was as if he'd waited forever to tell her. Chaos erupted within her as she pondered her next move. It was hard to grasp that this man, this sweet, gentle, caring man, this Hope before her, was in love with her. His lack of reciprocation before fell far into the back of her mind. Keeping her face carefully clear, she mentally cursed her treacherous body as her hands began to tremble in his.

"I figured this all out a while ago..." His expression turned sheepish, the words becoming much harder to release. "I'm ashamed to say it, but I knew it even while I was dating Nivien."

Her brow furrowed while she finally found her voice, masking her curiosity in harsh indifference. "Knew what?"

The biting tone threw him for a minute, but he plunged forward anyway. As evident by the kiss, he now knew that she at least felt something for him, even if she didn't show it now. This was Lightning's way of dealing with things. He knew that. Finding confidence in the fact that their hands were still carefully locked together, he continued. "That I had feelings for you. Strong feelings and they didn't go away. I thought, you know, that I-I..." One hand dropped from her as he ran it through his messy argentate locks and his eyes lowered before lifting back to hers with determination. "...that it was just a crush since you were so beautiful and strong and I looked up to you so much that I... but, no, those feelings stayed and they grew. I just thought that I had no chance. That you would never return them. I'd resigned myself to being your good friend, but I knew that I could never deny how much I care about you."

Throat dry, Lightning tried to respond, but couldn't, instead feeling a curious sensation like her heart thrumming harshly in her throat. This strange sensation was soon followed by another as she felt a serious warmth enveloping her lips.

He quietly gazed into her face awaiting a word, a gesture, a subtle facial twitch, but nothing came from the pinkette before him. Ignoring the gut-wrenching depression that threatened to tear him to shreds and the urge to run back to his office with his tail between his legs, Hope closed the distance between them. He muffled a small gasp from her as he sealed their lips together in a tender kiss and grasped her waist timidly in his hands.

On instinct, she went to punch him for the intrusion of personal space, only for her fist to quickly relax. This was Hope. How could she hurt him, especially when he was doing what she wanted? Even if she was loathe to admit it, this was exactly the response she desired, although a bit late for her taste. Her hand grabbed the collar of his jacket as her resolve melted and she kissed him back.

As her lips forcefully pushed back into his, Hope felt elated while taking in this enchanting moment fully. This should have been how their first kiss went, but at that moment, it didn't matter. He knew. He finally, truly knew that there was a chance for them to be together. He was older, stronger, far more capable of protecting her and making good on his promise. She was awake, no longer a crystal he frequently visited, but standing before him now, kissing him passionately.

Breaking apart from him while regaining her wits, she began worrying her lower lip. "This... isn't a good idea," Lightning whispered, her hand still clutching the fabric of his jacket.

A downtrodden look formed on his face as he fought against the disappointment in favor of inquiring why. "But... Light... I don't understand-"

Taking a few steps away from him, she began listing off the many reasons forming in her head. "Well, there's the age difference. You're my boss. I have to focus on protecting you..." She began gnawing on her lower lip painfully before carrying on, her voice lowering into a whisper. "... I'm not fit to love anyone... You deserve... someone who can love you openly..." Her gaze fell away from his as she confoundedly continued to let the brutally honest words flood from her mouth. _Why can't I just shut up?_ "... and... I don't want to lose you."

A small smile tugged at his lips, eager to make an appearance as he felt his chest swell. "Light," Hope cooed. "I'm only two years younger than you now." He chuckled as he took a step toward her. "I'm everybody's boss. Does that mean I have to be lonely for the rest of my life?" His smile turned into a grin while he continued to pick apart her meager excuses before getting to the root of her reluctance. He took another step toward her, her eyebrows twitching as he drew closer and her arms now folding sternly before her. "You can protect me and be with me, too." Another step. "You are perfectly capable of love. You just have to allow yourself to." Another step and another twitch of the brow. "I know what I want, regardless of what you think I deserve. And I want to be with you." She grimaced as he took yet another step forward, placing him mere inches from her. He gently took a hold of her chin and tilted her head up to meet his gaze. He waited patiently to continue until her eyes met his, the sight effectively taking the breath from her. "You won't lose me, Light. I'm not going anywhere. You couldn't lose me if you tried." Prying her lower lip from her teeth, Hope sucked on it before Lightning pressed herself back into him, meshing their lips together and putting her arms around his neck.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, reveling in each others touch and the captivating sensation of their lips being locked together. Slowly and a tad reluctantly, Lightning pulled away from him, conflicting emotions dancing in her eyes. Hope heeded all of the built up hesitation and confusion that still held her back from him. He wanted to continue, to just ignore her doubt in favor of enjoying the touch he'd waited for for so many years. Instead, he surrendered to her pause, stepping slightly away from her. He kept his gaze to the floor until he shook off the disappointment and replaced it with a small smile of contentment. "You need time."

Lightning kept her head down, her bangs obscuring her face from view. She couldn't control her stubborn emotions and thoughts that intriguingly hungered for him. Her fingers twitched in his direction, wishing to pull him back as he backed off, but she restrained herself. He was right, she needed time. She needed to figure things out because as it was, she wasn't sure of herself, let alone this new development in their relationship. She'd broken from the kiss because she needed to think. And even though Hope was being kind and gracious enough to allow her space, this only made her want him more. As much as she wanted to give in, she still felt a strong urge to resist.

"I can..." A sigh escaped him as he struggled with the words he forced himself to say. "You should take tomorrow off... and tonight, as well. Just think about it, please?"

Her head snapped up at the hint of begging in his voice and she melted at the sight of the silverette's token kicked puppy look. _That's really unfair._ Lightning didn't want to leave him in the hands of some incapable sissies while she took time to think, though. "And who will take my place?"

_She's really considering_ _it._ "I'll talk to Zalera or..." He was about to suggest Nivien until he remembered their earlier conversation. The soldier raised her brow, a cue for him to finish. "I'm sure Z won't mind."

Lightning sighed in response, but silently agreed. She had just spoken with her and found that 'Z' was extremely dedicated to protecting Hope. Even though she had yet to see the warrior in action, from seeing her, speaking with her, and hearing about her from Hope, Lightning knew she was fit to protect him. It was only for a day, anyhow. Until she could get her head on straight. "All right."

* * *

Zalera woke up to the unfamiliar sight of red fabric above her head. It was startling and unsettling at first until she remembered that she had spent the night in Lightning's new room in Hope's house while the soldier opted to stay at her apartment. When Hope had asked her if she could take over for Lightning for the last of the night and the next day, she'd been suspicious. The two had been practically inseparable since he had made his way back. Then that suspicion turned to concern when the girl wasn't even going to remain in the same house as him. Zalera contemplated why they were outright avoiding each other until she felt a tad uneasy. Maybe she shouldn't have told Lightning that story. If that was the root of this current problem, then she felt mighty guilty.

Meandering downstairs, she found Hope already up, dressed and in the kitchen, a cup of coffee laying in front of him on the counter. As she approached she noticed that his vision was locked on his forearm. He held it in his other hand, the sleeve tugged down, leaving the skin exposed. At first, the green-haired woman thought he was staring at his brand, but it was the wrong arm and his gaze was transfixed by his wrist as he cuffed it in his hand's grip, circled by his thumb and forefinger.

It became clear after a few moments. He was thinking about the torture. The restraints that had held them down, to be more precise. Taking a deep breath and realizing that he still hadn't noticed her presence, she gripped his shoulder, waking him from his reverie.

Jumping slightly at the feeling, Hope turned toward the other occupant of the room, visibly frightened. He relaxed as he saw that it was only Zalera. _Calm down. No need to alert her into all my crap, too._ Allowing a polite, welcoming smile to cross his features, Hope ruffled his hair absently. "Hey, Z. When did you get up?"

"Just a bit ago. You okay, Hope?"

"Of course. What would make you think otherwise?" Picking up his mug, he took a swift drink of its contents before sneering at its bitter coldness and sticking it into the microwave.

Zalera shook her head before leaning her side against the counter. "You seemed out of it." The warrior yawned as she watched her friend's movements from the corner of her eye. "So... what's going on with the lightning bug?" She smirked at Hope's quirked brow and quiet chuckle. "I never did quite catch the details."

Snatching his cup out of the microwave, Hope brought it to his lips before pouring the coffee down the drain and leaving the glass in the sink. "She just needed some time to think about some things."

"I guess it was about time for the little firefly to take a break."

"You really don't know the 'firefly', huh?" The young man laughed briefly before turning toward Zalera. "You should get dressed, we have an exciting day to get started on," he spoke, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

* * *

It was tiring, but that was what she was aiming for. She'd been at it for a good few hours now. Lightning was currently taking out all of her frustrations and flustered emotions on the training dummies in the room. She had tried to sit and contemplate her feelings and recent situation with Hope, but it just wasn't working out. The soldier wasn't one to stay stationary, she had to _do_ something. But Hope had been right about space. Even though she wanted to protect him and have that continual assurance that he was safe, she did need to have the proper time to think things over.

So now, she was training. She was exhausting herself physically by releasing all of her built up tension, and mentally and emotionally by considering how to move forward with Hope. Just thinking about him and yesterday's events caused her cheeks to flush and her heart to beat wildly. Which in turn caused her to grit her teeth, tighten her hold on her practice weapon and slam it harshly into the dummy, effectively getting the blade stuck in its poor foam side all the way to the hidden inner pole.

An amused snort brought the young woman out of her thoughts. She turned to find Rygdea chuckling silently to himself behind her. "Well, looks like somethin's got your panties in a twist." Walking towards the scowling soldier, the man smirked as he tapped the flat of a training sword against his boot. "Care to share, princess?"

Lightning scoffed as she jerked her weapon free. "Beat it."

The Calvary leader only smirked further. "Train, then? One on one?" His grin widened as Lightning stopped walking away, seeming to consider his proposal. "My usual training combatant isn't available, so the position is open for today."

The roseate entertained the idea for a moment, finding the idea of fighting and no doubt beating the man without the threat of punishment incredibly tempting. "And who deemed you a worthy opponent," Lightning jeered.

Rygdea rolled his eyes at her response, her mockery completely predictable. "La Salle and I usually train together in the morning. It's her brother's birthday, however, and she... well... it just made his absence all the more real and-" The man nearly fell to the floor after Lightning lunged toward him with her blade aimed for his chest and he caught her weapon with his own, unbalanced on his feet.

She smirked as she saw just how caught off guard he was as he held her attack. "Expect to have your ass handed to you."

* * *

Hope stared outside of one of the many Academy windows, eyes glossing over the city as his mind was still trapped in his possible future with Lightning. He had just come out of a meeting where he had handled some sort of affair with ease even though he had hardly been able to pay attention.

But could you blame him? Being with Lightning had been a dream of his for years and now it seemed much less like a hopeless fairytale and more like a possibility. Even after everything that had happened, all that they had been through, he may finally get some happiness.

He tried to not get his hopes up. He knew how tough this decision would be for the soldier and how likely it was that she would say no. _In fact, there is probably a ninety-five percent chance she'll say no and it's stupid of me to even think that she'd ever say yes. Why would she wan_ _t to be with me, anyway?_

The silverette couldn't help it, though. He loved her. He loved her enough to tell her so. At least, when it all was said and done, he'd know that he gave it his all. The decision is now completely in her hands. This realization caused Hope to inwardly groan. It was hopeless.

_How did this happen?_ That was a silly question. He knew exactly how it happened, when he first began to realize he felt more for his mentor than he should have.

* * *

_Hope lay on his mat, the cool Pulse air dr_ _ifting over him. All the others, save Lightning who stood watch, were asleep. Even in his tired state he couldn't sleep for his dreams were still dominated by his mother's death. He kept his eyes closed tight, however, feigning sleep. Lightning had been on_ _his case lately about not getting enough rest. He protested to which she responded with a glare accompanied by a growl. He shivered inside, but stood his ground. When she brought up how useless he'd be in battle with the lack of sleep, he conceded. So it'd_ _been the same since. For the last few nights he'd pretended to slumber, not only to keep out of arguing with Lightning, but to make her happy.  
_

_It had been a couple hours since they'd gone to bed. As he slowly began_ _to drift off into the horrors his mind would throw him into, he heard quiet shuffling. Risking a peek, he saw Lightning standing over Snow, her back toward him. Opening his eyes fully, the boy saw that she was slowly and stealthily going through a pocket i_ _n his coat. After about a minute, she stood with an appeased sigh._ She found what she was looking for, I assume. _Lightning turned to look over the others. When her azure orbs flicked over to Hope, his eyes were closed, back 'asleep'. Hearing her retreating_ _footsteps, Hope grew curious. However, he didn't dare look until he was sure she wouldn't see him. Hope opened his eyes to find the soldier nowhere in sight._

_He wanted almost desperately to know what she was doing, where she'd headed off to. But should h_ _e risk it? If she found him awake and worse, snooping around in her business, it would not end well. For him and their friendship especially. He stood up ready to find her, but paused in his first step._ Is it worth it? _He'd grown fond of their whole gang, b_ _ut Lightning was his mentor, his idol, his... goddess. As childish as the thought was, and as utterly embarrassing, it was true. She was like a goddess in his eyes. A divine being that could take on anything. A force that had no worthy opponent. Hope shook_ _his head knowing those thoughts shouldn't exist at all. Mustering up his courage, he walked on, following her tracks._

_It wasn't long until he heard soft whispering. Her back was toward him, thankfully, as she came into view. She was a little ways off, but_ _he didn't want her to see him if she happened to turn around. So, he hid behind a tree._ Yup, still hiding. Like the little kid I am. _Leaning closer, but still out of sight, Hope noticed she was holding something in her hand. She seemed to be talking into_ _it, so he strained his ears to listen._

_"You know it wasn't only that, but I-ugh this is stupid. Moronic, actually. Talking into a crystallized teardrop? For the love of Etro, I've gone insane. Of course, your hero and the rest of the_ l'Cie _are, too." Lightni_ _ng snorted and turned. Hope could now see the side of her. As obvious by her conversation, she was speaking to Serah's teardrop. "I'm struggling, Serah."_

_Hope's brow furrowed as he took in those words. They held such emotional weight. Not only the words,_ _but her tone and her expression._ _It was so new to Hope. Such despair and sorrow from Lightning, of all people. Yes, he'd seen her look a little lost and sad before, back in Palumpolum, but this..._ This is different. _He knew there was a softer side to her, a_ _side she reserved for him and him alone, but there's a difference between kindness and vulnerability._

_"I thought I could do this. We're heading to Oerba, as I'm sure the lughead's already told you. But I don't think it's..." Her tone turned to frustration_ _as a tear fell down her face. "I just want to save you, Serah. Why-" She choked on her words, a sob forming that she was refusing to let burst from her_ _lips. The young woman remained quiet after that. Small tears fell and multiple sniffs and whimpers sound_ _ed from her as she tried to keep composure, most likely for the sake of her sanity and in her own denial of the act._

_Hope stared, mesmerized by the shaking form before him. Never had he seen such emotion, such vulnerability from the woman. As he watched her slowly breaking down, he realized just how wrong he was. She wasn't some indestructible, unstoppable soldier. She wasn't a machine, uncaring of the world around her. She wasn't some goddess high on a pedestal out of anyone's reach. She was a person with her own troubles and sorrows. She was human._

_Before, she'd appeared to embody the definition of strength, ferocity, confidence, everything he'd wanted to attain. This Lightning was shocking, but not unwelcome. This was a piece of her. No doubt a deep one. Probably the one that Serah knew. Maybe this was the real Lightning. The Lightning that wasn't Lightning at all. And even in this broken state, she couldn't have been more beautiful._

* * *

Zalera watched him from not far down the deserted hallway. Hope had been quite quiet and withdrawn throughout most of the previous meeting, while still managing to appear focused on the task at hand. She was concerned, to say the least. Saying nothing while he stared silently out the large window for fifteen minutes and during the hauntingly quiet walk to his office, Zalera found she couldn't stand to let this continue. It wasn't any of her business, but she felt the need to interfere.

"I need to speak with you." Hope casually looked up at her from a paper he was looking over. Zalera tried to smile through her uneasiness, but feared that it may have turned out looking more like a grimace. "I think I know why Lightning's been so distant." Her gaze turned to the floor as shame coursed though her. This whole space thing between Hope and Lightning was undoubtedly her fault and she needed to find a way to mend it. If Hope knew what was troubling Lightning, maybe he could help her understand and it would get Hope to finally open up to the soldier. _A win win, right?_ "She was... was so desperate. I... I couldn't say no."

Alarms. Multiple alarms sounded off in Hope's head as he heard Zalera's words. "Couldn't say no to... what?"

"I told her... what happened. She was just so upset and lost and I just..."

Hope began to slowly rise from his chair as he could see just how guilty Zalera felt and he was slowly piecing together just what Zalera could have told Lightning that would make her so on edge. "You told her about-"

"About what they did to me." The young man's eyes widened, but Zalera shook her head while trying to explain that she hadn't betrayed his trust. "Not you. What happened to you is for you to tell. Not me."

Inwardly panicking, Hope cringed at what Lightning could possibly know now. He wanted to keep it from her, but it appeared that everyone just wanted to ignore that wish. "But our-our tortures were so similar. You basically told her what-"

Zalera did feel guilty, but she still felt justified. She hadn't given up anything about his time in the Ark, only hers and Yeul's "I purposely told her what happened to me, okay? I couldn't... I'm allowed to say what happened to me, right? I mean, it happened to me, too."

Hope heeded the anger in the others tone, but this news was devastating. He could imagine how Light would handle the details. Biting his lip, Hope fought the urge to be there for her, because he was supposed to be giving her space. "Dammit, Light."

"I'm sorry, Hope. I know I shouldn't have and I knew it was basically just the same. I don't know, I just-she was so... She begged me, Hope. She knew you weren't going to tell her and it was driving her insane. Her imagination was running rampant. I thought that maybe I could give her a little solace. Maybe what she knows now is worse or better, but at least it's solid. Not the bunch of different versions she was coming up with, but the real... I'm sorry, Hope. I thought that this would help, not... I didn't know that she would-"

"It's not your fault," Hope explained as he turned toward her. As he thought over the timeline of things, the fact that Zalera had only been with him since he'd last seen Lightning, he knew that he'd seen Lightning since she'd talked to Zalera. Judging by how she was in his office, before the whole kiss thing, she'd taken it rather well.

Zalera's brow crinkled as she stood beside him. "But-"

"When did you tell her?"

"Last night."

Hope sighed, but soon found a small smile gracing his features. "She kissed me. Last night. Right before I asked you to temp guard for me."

"That was shortly after I told her."

"Well that explains what she was originally going to say to me..."

She nodded. "But-"

Hope shook his head as he sat back down. "It's my fault, too. Her sudden... coldness. She kissed me and I didn't respond."

This thoroughly surprised her. Zalera could clearly tell how much Hope cared for the girl. "But you love her," she stated as she sat on his desk beside him.

"That's why I went after her. It was sudden and I was too stunned, too shocked." Running his hands through his hair, he found himself sighing once more. "But I collected myself and I ran after her. I told her that and I... kissed her and I told her that I loved her. So now... I guess now she's processing all of it. And I don't know how to help her do so."

Smiling down at him, Zalera put a hand on his shoulder. "She cares deeply for you, Hope. She kissed you." She chuckled as she imagined the event. The lovestruck Lightning kissing a stunned, unresponsive Hope. "She kissed you first. That says a lot."

"I just wish that she didn't blame herself so much-"

"Why didn't you tell her?" Hope looked up at her briefly before his gaze fell away. "About everything."

The young director cringed as he squeezed his eyes shut. "I can't, Z. I can't face it all again."

"But that's not all, is it? It's Lightning, isn't it. You don't want her to feel worse than she already does. To blame herself more."

Hope's eyes shot open and looked at the woman beside him with wonder. "How-"

"I've been in your shoes." She stood and walked towards the nearest bookcase, her hand lightly caressing the spines of its contents as she continued. "It was the same with Yeul and her original Guardian. She didn't need to know the gory details of what happened to him. She blamed herself already." Zalera then turned toward him, a book in hand that she flipped through, her hands trying to preoccupy themselves. "I can understand Lightning, though. If I hadn't seen what happened to Yeul... If I didn't know. I would have felt just like her."

"I wanted to protect her." He fisted his hand on his desk as he spoke with conviction. "For once... I wanted to protect her and not the other way around. But it seems that no matter what I do, she always ends up hurt."

Zalera slammed her book shut, drawing his attention. "She may be hurt, but at least she has you." Taking in a steady breath she set the book down before going back over to Hope and putting her hand gently over his gloved fist. "Yeul's death broke me, shattered me. I'm irreparable. But you two still have each other. Only you can fix her and only she can fix you."

* * *

The two panted as they stood on opposite sides of the room. Both were exhausted as they were preparing for the umpteenth round. Their bodies ached for a break, but both ignored their limbs' screams and cries. Lightning needed this release of frustration and tension, Rygdea could see it. Hell, he could feel it. And he had no problem helping her out. Even if she was unaware of his kindness. He had nothing to do with his time today, anyway.

Lightning grunted as she went in for an attack, a heavy swing headed for his weaker side. The blade caught his heel as he jumped away. He swung back mid jump, hitting her in the shoulder lightly before she parried his swing quickly, soon back flipping out of his reach.

A tired smirk formed on Rygdea's lips before he stood and launched towards the pinkette. Their blades clanged together as they held each others attacks back, a battle of strength and will soon forming. After a few agonizing minutes, with their muscles straining and burning, Lightning's foot began to slide as her boot was losing traction. Rygdea soon gained the upper hand. With her foot slipping, her body was slowly lowering, her knee almost hitting the floor.

A second too soon, the elder of the two eased up quickly and swung low to deal his finishing blow. It wasn't low enough, however, for as soon as his weapon left hers, Lightning ducked under his swing to deal her own attack. She lunged forward, sweeping Rygdea off his feet with her blade.

This move stunned Rygdea as he found himself hitting the hard floor, the air knocked out of him and his weapon out of reach. As his breathing reached normalcy, the man looked to where his weapon had run off to. His eyes zeroed in on it under his opponent's right foot, her staring at him with a look of satisfaction. "Okay, I surrender." He rolled off of his side, holding his shoulder as he'd landed on it rather harshly. "I concede to the Great Lightning Farron." Rygdea bowed before the victorious young woman as he chuckled.

She hmphed as she stood up straight, smirking at the man while wiping her brow. "It was a good fight," she relented.

"This is about Hope, ain't it," inquired Rygdea breathily.

Lightning wiped the sweaty pink tendrils of her hair out of her face as her jaw tightened. "I don't know what you mean." Turning away from him, she put her practice blade in its proper place before moving to exit the room.

"Don't give me any of that. You're here practicing when you'd usually be guarding Hope. And you're an exceptional fighter, I'll give ya that, but there was some serious strength in those swings. You're angry about somethin'. You two have a fight?"

Rolling her eyes, she turned toward him. "My reasons for taking a day off and for how I spend them are none of your business."

He threw his own weapon carelessly off to a corner, knowing someone else would pick it up later, and rolled his shoulder a bit, trying to loosen it and relieve some pain. "It is if it has to do with Hope. I care for his well being. I need to know... is something going on with him?" A look of grief and serious concern flashed over the young woman's sweaty features before disappearing, leaving an aggravated expression.

"He's very... he seems to be haunted by his torture. Which is no surprise, but it's getting worse. He has these... episodes and I don't know what to do for him." She crouched against the wall as she let out a frustrated sigh.

This news worried the Calvary leader, but he suspected that this wasn't what had the soldier leaving Hope's side. "And that's really why you're here?" His brow rose when he noticed her gaze burning a hole into the floor and a light pink dusting her cheeks. Some glee filled him as he thought about why the stern sergeant was blushing. "Or maybe you and he... shared a bit of a... heated moment?"

Lightning cringed as she could hear the devilish grin he was sporting though his voice. She glared at him, but it did nothing to the expression. "Does everyone know about his affection for me?"

The man shrugged. "Don't blame the kid, he's got it bad. Plus, you and I both know he couldn't hide his feelings if he tried. An open book, as always. But you... I was kinda worried you wouldn't feel the same... or want to. Looks like I sweated for nothing." His smirk grew as he knelt beside the aggravated young woman and nudged her shoulder. "So..." He wiggled his eyebrows for good measure, enjoying making Lightning uncomfortable. Maybe it was because she was so worn down, but she seemed to be much more forthcoming in her current state. He had yet to be threatened and if that wasn't a sign...

At this, Lightning groaned. "If it'll get you to leave and never speak about this again..." _Maker,_ _why Rygdea, of all people?_ "I'm making my decision." The man gave her a perplexed expression to which she obliged with an explanation. "Whether or not to... be... with him." She hung her head as he chuckled. He at least attempted to bite it back as his tongue was between his teeth.

"Here?" He gestured to the room. "Your making that decision while training? Well, I'm impressed that your at least considering it. I thought you would have flat out rejected him. Did he at least make a good case?"

She had to admit, he kind of did. His words, that kiss that felt so perfect, so right, that it was almost agonizing to pull away from, and then there was the confession. "He told me he loved me."

Rygdea whistled. "Man, that kid doesn't hold anything back. Shouldn't have expected anything less, though. He is crazy about you. Has been for years."

"How have I been so oblivious to it, then?"

"Well, in your defense, you have missed out on five years of his life. If I'm correct, it was probably within those five years that he first came to realize that he cared for you so much. It just grew from there."

Leaning her head in her palm, she stared at the floor, taking in every scuff mark since it was last waxed. "Yeah, he did say something along those lines. But how did you pick up on it?"

Getting sore in his crouched position, Rygdea sat against the wall as he recounted the first time he became suspicious of the young one's feelings toward the soldier. "There was one night... Bartholomew had called me." The man grimaced as he began. Just saying his friend's name made his heart ache. Almost as much as saying Cid's. He'd only managed to say his name a handful of times within the past six years, each time harder than the last. "He was concerned about Hope. He said his son hadn't come home for dinner, but had called and said he was fine. Hope had said he just wanted some fresh air and time alone. But there was something in the kid's tone that had alarmed Bartholomew. He asked me if I knew if there was anything bothering Hope or if I knew where to find him. I said I didn't, but offered to look." Rygdea remembered that night clearly. He'd been worried even though he knew Hope could probably take care of himself better than any other fifteen year old.

"After about an hour of checking the usual spots and his friends, I stopped and did some deep thinking. It took me a bit before I remembered something the kid had said earlier that week. Something about a certain soldier's birthday being that very day." A grin formed on his lips as he looked at the slightly surprised expression Lightning was trying to repress. "I knew then right where he was. He was in the stasis room... with his Light." Standing, Rygdea put his hand on her shoulder before she looked up at him. "And he was there that day every year after that."

Lightning watched Rygdea exit the room before she looked down at her hands. She ran over in her mind everything that had been said to her about Hope's interest and love for her, over everything he'd said. She thought about what he'd done for her, saving her, caring for her, giving her purpose. She thought about their interaction, holding hands, hugging, simple touches that sent shivers up her spine, kisses she found herself longing for. And of course, how she felt. Could she really try to love someone? Could they make it work with all of the obstacles in their way? Could Hope really be the one she gave her heart to?

Serah had asked her a question one day. _'Do you think you'd be happier if you found love, sis?'_ At the time, the question seemed so stupid, so pointless. The question had actually ticked her off in an instant. But that was mostly because she knew that Serah was truly happier. She had found love, or so Serah thought. That had been the root of Lightning's anger as she had sharply replied, _'Love and happiness are a joke.'_ Her sister had been so young, so naïve. But maybe that question wasn't as stupid as she had thought.

Because even just thinking about Hope and the night before made her heart soar.

_No, I can't. It's just not right._ She couldn't love anyone. She'd given up love long ago, decided that all it brought was death and heartache. The only person she could love anymore was Serah, who was currently a block of crystal. She couldn't bear it anymore. She had enough of love and its unwarranted consequences. Lightning would only lose those she loved, anyway. _What's the point?_

After battling with herself, going back and forth between yes and no, she'd finally had enough. _This decision shouldn't be this hard. If I really loved him, wouldn't it be automatic? Wouldn't I know that I love him? The fact that I have to decide should be answer enough._ A growl emitted from her throat as she found her chest tightening at the thought of saying no. Of giving up without even trying. But it would be for the best, right? For the both of them. She didn't want to hurt Hope, after all. It would only be worse for him if she went into a relationship with him unsure of how she really felt.

With all this in mind, Lightning left the training room. She had made her decision. She had made her decision and would now tell Hope. She nodded reassuringly to herself, hoping that she wouldn't regret this in the future.

* * *

Hope was standing in the library, looking out the large window, staring at the scene. Zalera and he had just gotten back to his house twenty minutes before, Zalera quickly jumping in the shower. The young director was left to himself, his thoughts wandering dangerously. At first, as he'd done many times before, he thought of the Ark. Of Castea and his torture. He threw all that out of his mind, trying to cover them with a distraction. His work was a good one, but that only saddened him and frankly made him depressed. Before the Ark, his work had revolved around the crystal mission. His hope was so high that thinking about it now hurt him terribly. Then there was his other usual distraction.

_Light..._ But even she was causing him such turmoil. It wounded him a little, that she needed so much time to think it over. On the other hand, he would have thought that she would have said no outright, gotten angry, disgusted or maybe laughed at him, leaving him broken and incredibly emotionally marred.

A loud thump brought Hope out of his head. He turned as he thought it to have come from his dad's office. _It's no longer his office, Hope. It's yours now..._ Hope didn't allow his mind to continue that, only walked into the room, his eyes roving over it entirely, wary of any danger. He immediately noticed a book on the floor that had fallen from the shelf. Walking over and picking it up, he looked it over briefly. As he went to put it back, he was stopped by a feeling. It was like he was sensing a presence in the room with him.

The door to his office slammed shut.

Hope immediately dropped the book, swinging around. His eyes widened as he took in the fact that Castea was on the other side of the room, directly across from him, very much alive. Her smile grew as she took in his frightened state.

"Hello, Hope," spoke a voice that had preoccupied his mind for far too long. Only this time, the voice wasn't inside his head.

He only stared at her, his eyes bugged out. Faintly, he heard Zalera call to him.

A chuckle bubbled up from her throat. "What's wrong, love? Not afraid of ghosts, are we?"

He squeezed his eyes shut, willing her image to disappear, hoping it was just another horrid trick of his mind. But as he opened his eyes, her form was still before him, that eery smirk still present on her face. "No, you aren't real. You-you can't be. You're-"

"Please, death can't touch me." Her gray eyes bore into his as she waited for him to make a move.

Zalera called to Hope again, sounding more frantic. Hope could hear her approaching, but for some reason, he couldn't find his voice to call out to her. The warrior finally found him, but as she turned the knob, she found the door wouldn't budge.

Castea looked to the door with amusement. The girl was a pain, but a pain that could be handled easily. She wasn't getting in until Castea allowed her to.

Yelling through the door, Zalera began slamming herself against it. "Hope, please, answer me! Are you okay? Say something!"

Coming to the realization that this was very much real, Hope decided he needed to quickly defend himself before she even had time to attack. He sent a powerful thundaga toward her, but it only bounced off of her protect spell.

Shaking her head, the woman's wolfish grin broadened. "You're strong, Hope. And getting stronger. But you're still not powerful enough to take me on, kid." With a flick of her wrist she sent a firaga toward the young man who had only had enough time to cast a weak shell before being hit full force.

He flew back into the bookcase behind him and fell to the ground, various volumes and tomes tumbling down upon him. The room was spinning, awash with growing dark spots. Her cackles danced around him, mocking him.

He wondered, in his last moment of consciousness, where he would wake up this time.


	16. Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's me... or the rest of the world, Light. I have no choice."

A loud bang caught Zalera's interest as she stepped out of the bathroom, rejuvenated and dressed. It sounded like the slamming of a door and the quiet that followed was a more than a little alarming. Having a horrible feeling hit her in the pit of her stomach, she called out Hope's name, soon hearing it echo back to her. The young woman's heart began to pound in her chest at the lack of response she received, causing her to yell for him once more. When he didn't answer, she immediately grabbed a chakram and raced through the house, seeking her charge.

After searching through the rooms on the first floor, she began to really panic, Hope's name flying from her lips constantly. As she hit the second floor, she faintly heard someone speaking in Hope's office. Calling for him again and again, she ran to the room and went to enter, but the door was sealed. It wasn't locked since Zalera could feel the knob turn all the way and the door give a little. It was as if an invisible force was keeping it shut, forcing it closed from the other side.

Without many other alternatives, the warrior began to slam her body into the door. "Hope, please, answer me! Are you okay? Say something!" She was kicking and punching the door, shoving her shoulder so hard against it she could feel a bruise surfacing, but it wouldn't give. Seeing no choice, she drew her chakram up and was ready to chop the door open. As she went to deal the first blow, she froze, hearing the sound of a thunder spell rip through the air and strike a target with tremendous force. "Hope?!"

A voice followed after, but not the one she was seeking. Although it was muffled and low, she knew that voice. It was one of the voices that had tormented her for months and scarred her very soul. _No._ Another spell swept through the room before her that seemed to go in the opposite direction. A yell burst from Zalera's throat as she heard a cry from the person who was hit and recognized who it was. "Hope!" _Please be all right._

A cackle followed, but seemed to fade out of existence. Fear threatening to tear through Zalera's sanity, she backed away a few feet and ran towards the door. As she slammed herself back into the now slightly splintered wood, the door flew open, causing Zalera to fall to the ground. A smile broke on her face as she realized that she'd made it in, but the smile soon morphed into a gape as fear gripped her. She lifted herself up to find Hope face down on the ground across from her. Scorch marks surrounded him and the bookcase behind him as a light smoke drifted from his body. Scrambling towards him, the emerald-haired woman carefully turned him over, wincing at the definite second degree burn that ran across half of his face and neck. "Hope? Wake up, Hope." She shook him, but he wouldn't wake.

Her face scrunched up in guilt before fury burned into her eyes, a snarl bursting from her throat. "Castea," she yelled. Zalera gently laid Hope back down on the ground before standing back up, her grip on the chakram being so strong that it might as well have melded with her hand. "You coward. Get back here and face me."

Hope could feel a sharp burning pain on his skin as he awoke. A fog had taken over his mind for a few agonizing seconds as he attempted to regain his bearings. He wondered where he was and why he hurt so much. Why it suddenly reeked of smoke and his throat felt parched. What that loud yelling was about and who it was coming from. But mostly, he wondered why he felt so frightened to just open his eyes.

That's when it hit him. Everything that had happened moments ago came back in a flash. He hurt so much because he had been hit with a firaga that knocked him off his feet. The smoke was no doubt wafting off of him causing his nose to crinkle and making his throat unbelievably dry. That person that was yelling was Zalera, screaming out at his attacker. But his fear for his current location and the reason for his eyes being screwed shut was because he was afraid that this would be just like last time. He would wake up in some unknown location, dazed and confused, with a wicked woman and her demonic smirk looming over him.

"Z-Zalera," Hope spoke weakly. He knew she was there. The young man could hear her in the room with him. A small sense of ease came over him as he knew that he at least wasn't alone.

Whipping around, she bolted over toward him. A relieved smile broke on her face at his call. "Hey, what… are you-"

"Where am I?" Hope internally winced at the weakness of his voice. It stemmed partially from his parched throat, yes, but mostly it was from his apprehension towards an incoming answer.

Confusion was written on the Pulsian's face before she figured out the reasoning for his question. _It's not just disorientation, is it?_ "You're home, Hope. You're still in your office in your house. It looks like you're going to be fine. A little burnt, but fine."

He couldn't describe the amount of joy he felt at hearing that. He was home. _Still home._ A pained sigh fell from him as he slowly opened his eyelids, exposing his green watery orbs to the world. "I'm home."

A chuckle escaped from her. "Yeah." Helping him shakily sit up, Zalera kept a close eye on every part of his body, making sure that his burns were all to know about. "We should take you to-"

"I'm fine, Z." Before she could protest, the young director ghosted his palm over his injuries while calling forth a healing spell to wash away the marks and pain.

Zalera watched the evidence fade away until only a faint pink remained clinging to the burns' previous spots. "Right." His healing abilities were still very new to her. As Hope flashed a smile towards her, he muttered an 'all better' before she snapped at him, a startling rage overtaking her. "It's not all better. That bitch is back, Hope!"

Face contorting in grief, he fought to stay calm. "What happened while I was out?"

She held back all of her frustration as she sighed. Zalera gritted her teeth while she responded. "You weren't out very long. I only made it in here to see you on the ground, out cold. The witch was already gone. What did she want, anyway?" That question had come out as a harsh whisper as her gaze took in the room fully.

"I'm not sure... I couldn't even properly defend myself." Hope looked to his hands with disgust. He still couldn't protect himself. He was someone who could potentially save or destroy the planet with his power, yet he couldn't even shield himself from an attack by an intruder in his own home.

The warrior huffed before helping Hope off of the ground. "If she's still alive and after you... then she came back for one thing." The two looked into each others eyes, hatred and contempt filling Zalera's green irises as Hope turned noticeably pale.

He remembered one last tidbit of the event that occurred minutes ago, whispered words that had slipped into his ears as his consciousness faded.

_"_ _Remember your destiny, Hope. You won't escape it. Not i_ _f I have anything to say about it."_

"To finish what she started."

* * *

Castea walked into the room, her steps lighter than they'd been in days. Her aura exuded glee as she felt her chest swell with pride. The woman had had enough of playing her little mind games with the boy. Though they had been quite fun and thoroughly joyful, it was time to get back to business now that they were back to full potential. Hope now had his brand and his strength was increasing tremendously daily. It was time for him to retrieve the crystals and bring them closer to their goal. Her small warning just now should have given him a shove towards his decision to be a good boy and follow the destiny he was born into.

Barsilisk watched as his wife entered and strode towards him, her exuberance not eluding his notice. "How did it go?" She flashed him a pleased smile which told him all he needed to know.

"I hear we've been requested."

The man's expression dulled as they walked deeper into the domain of the being that pulled their strings. Into the chamber that held their master. Into the home of their fal'Cie. "It's never a request," Barsilisk muttered.

The hall was dark, yet it had a green glow that provided enough light to make their surroundings visible. The smell was musty, as to be expected. Intricate carvings lined the walls, many of them recounting ancient Pulsian stories dealing with fire, death and destruction at the hands of the powerful creature that laid inside. It was meant as a warning, written long ago by those who feared the being. But the tales only served to brighten Castea's mood more for she held much of this fal'Cie's great power. Her servitude to the him had quickly made her a giant part of that death and destruction. She loved it. She loved the power. That and many of the other benefits she reaped in the wake of becoming a l'Cie. Castea owed much to their fal'Cie and held him in the highest regard. He was a true deity. But she could understand her husband's lack of enthusiasm when he was called forth. After all, it was because of him that Barsilisk still stood by her side.

The doors before them opened to the grand chamber that was bleak and screamed of death and decay. A few torches simultaneously lit around the room as they entered, showing some sense of presence. Castea's smile grew on her features as her eyes lit on a few of the rotting corpses and skeletons that laid scattered around the room. All were past adversaries that had been quickly vanquished. Their bodies only remained as a reminder of what one was dealing with and whose domain one was entering. Across from the entrance was a colossal stone throne with an enormous statue sitting upon it. The statue was of a man in battle armor, horns peeking out from its helmet. A large scythe stood in one hand while the other rested on the arm of the throne.

Castea's smile widened as she looked to the statue, knowing all too well that though it appeared to be a lifeless stone, appearances could be deceiving. The two walked up before it and bowed. "What is it that you require," the pale l'Cie asked, her eyes filled with adoration.

A deep voice bellowed throughout the room, seeming to respond from nowhere and everywhere at once. "I believe you said you would get the boy on track. Though I can sense you have thoroughly frightened him, I am unsure that he will heed your warning."

"If you would have let me retrieve him, we could have forced-"

"He needs to seek them for himself."

Castea's brow furrowed. "But we could already be-"

"Enough," the fal'Cie growled and her mouth snapped shut. "Watch yourself, child."

The woman bowed her head and apologized. She hadn't meant to argue with him, she just didn't understand why they couldn't grab Hope and force him to comply to their demands.

"We shall see what the results of your little visit yields. If he does not begin to understand the urgency in obtaining the crystal shards, we shall resort to other methods. Perhaps our remaining captives shall do."

Barsilisk grimaced at the thought and his wife's all too joyful expression.

Castea gave him a knowing glance before speaking up. "That should be fun."

"Now... are the Pulsians still intent on an attack?"

Castea nodded, a bitter frown crossing her expression. "They are still choosing their assassin."

"We shall not intervene this time."

Shock captured both faces of the fal'Cie's audience, wondering why they were leaving their one hope of a new world to be prey to a deadly attack. But they knew better than to question their master's motives, especially when Castea had already overstepped her boundaries that day. "As you wish."

She would always obey him whether she agreed or not.

* * *

She wanted to cry out in frustration when her eyes locked on his form. _One day. I'm gone for one day and this happens._

As Lightning had emerged from the G.C. building in her hasty trek to find Hope, she had gotten a call from Zalera telling her to get to the Academy base quickly, that something had happened. Her eyes bulged as she'd bolted for the Academy. When she'd gotten there, she'd immediately been whisked away to one of the meeting rooms on the third floor.

Inside the room was Amodar, Rygdea, Sazh, Harleen, Hildough, Zalera and Hope. Confused, the soldier tried to take in the room full of people to find what was going on. The room had gone silent the minute she'd walked in and they all stared at her, most with knowing and concerned gazes. Hope's, though, was filled with apprehension. That's when she noticed it. His hair was lightly singed and his clothes had burnt holes in them. He'd been attacked.

She stepped towards Zalera, ready to shriek at the woman before being silenced by the words that quietly slipped from Hope's lips.

"Castea's back."

She had received a recount of the attack right after. Now she stood directly beside Hope, for she was never leaving him _ever_ again, and finding herself lost in a mess of thoughts as the room was in an uproar. Everyone was speaking at once. It wasn't until she heard Harleen's voice out of the crowd that she felt the need to speak up.

"I've heard the rumors. This kid's head's been messed up since he got back. How do we know that _this_ Castea wasn't just a part of his imagination? How do we know he didn't-"

"Burn himself," Lightning questioned, snarling. "How could you even-"

Hope held up a hand, a look of indifference capturing his visage. "It's all right, Light. Nothing anyone says or does can ever change your mind anyway, right, Harleen?" Sazh came up beside him and squeezed his shoulders to get him to relax, but Hope shook him off.

The man scowled at the young director, his body standing up straight, attempting to seem superior. "Watch how you talk to me, boy."

A scoff escaped him. "Why, you gonna smack me around like you do your own son?"

Harleen stepped forward threateningly, but before he could make any moves both Zalera and Lightning snapped at him, a simultaneous, "Try it," coming from them as they gripped their weapons.

At this, Rygdea slammed his hand down on the table in the middle of them, regaining control of the room. "Y'all need to shut up. This isn't going to turn into some brawl. That is the last thing we need in the face of this." The Cavalry leader ran a hand through his hair that was a bit of a mess, the result of his fingers having already combed through it a hundred times in his worry. "Let's figure out how she could still be alive."

Hope retreated back into his silence, running through it all in his mind. It just made no sense. _She was dead. A lifeless corpse was all that was left of her when we escaped. How she suddenly..._ But Hope realized something. Castea didn't just suddenly appear out of thin air. She didn't just come back to announce her still very alive state of being. _She was never really gone._ The whispers and words that had been plaguing him for weeks was not his mind trying and failing to recover. It had been the wicked woman toying with him.

The roseate watched Hope's face as it remained stoically unchanging. _What's going on in that head of his?_ Becoming worried, Lightning subtly brushed the back of her hand against the back of his and let it remain there, the contact bringing him out of his daze and snapping his attention to her. He gave her a small, but forced smile and quickly withdrew his hand from the gentle touch, shoving it into his pocket. Taken aback by the action, Lightning thought better to ponder it later and focus now.

"Well the Ark had collapsed, right," asked Amodar as he took a seat, his fingers rubbing his brow. "I mean we sent a Cavalry team to check it out and everything. There was nothing left. The Eighth Ark had completely caved." Rygdea nodded in confirmation. "But let's say there was a way out. Maybe she didn't die and found a way through somehow." The general turned toward Zalera and Hope. "Were there any other exits besides the main one that you escaped through?"

Zalera looked at him incredulously. "We wouldn't know. We were prisoners! It's not like we were given a tour of the place!"

"No need to get snarky," Harleen replied. "It was just a question."

_Snarky?!_ The warrior growled. All this, this whole day, it was all becoming far too much. "You little-Why are you even here? Why do get to know about-"

"Me?" Harleen's brow furrowed as he pointed an accusatory finger toward her. "Why are _you_ here? You're one of them. You're a _Pulsian_ , you don't belong here."

Zalera's eyes widened and her hold on her weapon only strengthened. She wanted to slice that irritating bastard's head clean off.

"I think you need to calm down, Harleen," Hildough tried, but was only shoved aside.

"This girl is a stranger. For all we know she could be working with them. How can we trust this barbaric Pulsian?"

The Pulsian in question nearly jumped over the table to throttle the man, but was caught by Rygdea as he spoke. "Get out, Burien. If you are gonna spew your crap then-"

"How dare you," Zalera spat. "'One of them', my ass. You have no idea what I've been through." Rygdea was struggling to hold the woman back and Harleen's sharp reply didn't help matters any.

"Oh, yeah? Tell us more of you're sob story, sweetheart." A sound of a blade cutting through the air was heard before Harleen saw a gunblade held at his throat. Lightning stood beside him, her weapon extended out in front of him, inches from his skin.

"Say one more word. I dare you." Her eyes challenged his startled ones and he gulped. _Give me one reason. Just one._ Before she could make a move he backed away slowly and left the room, disgruntled murmurs leaving him.

"Okay." Rygdea released his hold on Zalera, her glaring at him as she shook herself off and stepped away. "Now, let's just focus, shall we? She's alive, we'll consider _how_ later. Let's focus on _why_ she's back. You two think it's because of the crystals?"

Hope nodded while Zalera muttered "undoubtedly" while crossing her arms.

Amodar sat back in his chair, hoping that all of the 'excitement' was over. "So what do we do then? Obviously getting the crystals together is like constructing a world obliterating bomb for the l'Cie, but what will they do if we don't follow orders? I'm sure it'll only get progressively worse as we ignore them."

"If we get the crystals, can we destroy them," questioned Rygdea as he leaned against the wall.

Zalera snorted and shook her head before growling in the man's direction. "Are you insane? We aren't even sure how to put them together or if Hope can control it. Who knows if these god created shards can be destroyed."

"Z, please take it down a notch." Hope gave her a pointed look until she turned her fiery gaze to the floor. "They're only trying to find the best solution to this."

"No, Hope. How can you expect me to be quiet and calm? How the hell are you?"

The room's occupants all fell into an uncomfortable silence. Lightning glanced at Hope's hands that seemed to be balled agonizingly tight and at how Zalera's body trembled with rage. She knew this affected them deeply and understood their opposition toward the crystal mission, but she wasn't going to let those monsters continue to torment Hope. "Tch, maybe we should try." The sergeant received a few stunned glances, but her focus was on Hope. "You can do this. I know you c-"

"We can't," Hope said sternly. He finally raised his gaze to her, hoping she would see that he didn't wish to discuss this further.

Her arms fell to her sides as confusion descended upon her brow. "Hope, they'll just keep coming after you."

"It's me... or the rest of the world, Light. I have no choice."

* * *

The meeting finished out relatively quickly after that. A unanimous, well… reluctantly unanimous, for a couple didn't like the thought of tempting the viscous beast that was Castea, decision was made to hold off on the mission until when or if there was another attack. Most were sure that it was just a matter of time.

All exited the room except Lightning, Zalera and Hope. The young director's eyes were glazed over as he stared out of the meeting room's window, very withdrawn. Lightning stared at his back, a fear overtaking her as she thought about how he was taking Castea's reappearance. She felt an odd need to comfort him in ways she had never allowed herself to think of before, but soon chastised herself for the thoughts. Decidedly, she was becoming very distraught.

Zalera watched the two, feeling uncomfortable and out of place as she observed the roseate's obvious need to be with Hope. Probably preferably alone. She still felt guilt and self-hatred for failing Hope, Lightning, and herself. The warrior also still felt incredibly infuriated by the Academy adviser's words. Mostly because she thought them to be true, even if only in the slightest sense. How could anyone trust her? She was an outsider, after all. All this, paired with her still very bruised shoulder, just led her to feel not only defeated, but exhausted.

"Look," Zalera began, "I'm going to-"

"What," Lightning snapped ferociously. "What are you going to do, Zalera?" The soldier turned toward her as she winced at Lightning's tone. "You said you would protect him. You should be wearing those burn holes, not him!"

As much as Zalera wanted to hold her tongue since she did feel some responsibility, she was getting extremely pissed off at the blame and mistrust being thrown at her. Before she could bark back her retort at the mistreatment, however, Hope defended the green-haired woman.

"Back off, Light." Hope turned away from the window to look at them. "She did what she could."

"If she'd done what she could, you wouldn't have been hurt. I-"

"It would have happened if you had been watching me too, Lightning."

Her jaw clenched hearing Hope abandon his nickname for her, knowing he only called her Lightning when in distress or when angry with her. Of course it was the latter, but why?

Hope's expression hardened as he stared at Lightning. "Castea was waiting for an opportunity. A time when all of our guards were down." Holding a tense stance, he glanced at his feet, still holding a stern expression. He should have known that it had been too good to be true. The woman was an incredibly powerful and gifted l'Cie. That 'death' was simply too easy and rather anticlimactic.

Shaking her head, Lightning didn't quite understand. "How do you know that she was waiting?"

"Since I've gotten back… I've been hearing her voice in my head." Hope studied the floor. The carpet fibers held no painful expression of the betrayed, unlike his mentor. Not telling her something so important was irresponsible and had only caused a rift between them, but to Hope, it had been necessary. He continued with shaky words as Zalera came to stand against the wall, also intently listening to him with an expression of tightly controlled hurt. "I thought it was just a part of the trauma like the nightmares and flashbacks, but it makes sense now. She's been messing with me almost since the day we escaped."

Very unsure of how to handle all of the news being thrown at her today, Lightning gripped the handle of her blade, hoping to find some emotional stability in its smooth and cold hardness.

"I'm not sure why she would wait to attack until now... or why she wouldn't have just taken me, but..." Anger filled his tone, but he cleared his throat, reminding himself to remain level headed. Peeking at Lightning, Hope saw that she held a perfectly blank look, but her grip on her gunblade was tight enough to cause her hand to shake. The silveret sighed, knowing he'd probably just ruined his friendship with Lightning with all of the secrets he'd been harboring. "Z, can you give me and Light a minute?"

The Pulsian nodded, understanding in her gaze. "It's been a long day, anyway." Holding her bruised arm against her stomach, Zalera walked towards the door. "You want me to wait outside, or-"

"Have some rest. I'll see you at the house. Lightning, too." He knew that no matter what happened between them in this oncoming conversation, Lightning was going to remain by his side, whether he wanted her to or not.

The woman nodded once more, casting a wary glance toward the rigid soldier. "All right. Be careful. Both of you."

"And, Z?" She turned to him as he smiled in her direction. "If there is anyone here who doesn't belong, it's him." She hummed appreciatively, surprise present on her face.

After Zalera retreated from the room, Hope's gaze settled back out the window. Lightning stared at his back, wondering how she could have been so blind as to not have noticed that he'd never escaped Castea's clutches, but had only continued being tortured even while under her own protection. Instead of falling victim to her usual feelings of guilt, self-pity, and pain she focused on Hope, willing herself to make sure that this incident didn't shut him away from her anymore. "I'm sorry, Hope-"

"Light, I already said that none of this is your fault-"

"Then stop shutting me out." Taking a deep breath, she released her hold on her weapon. "Don't hide from me. You keep crawling under this shell and hiding under a fake smile, like it's all okay." She was feeling incredibly overwhelmed by everything lately and she wanted it all to stop. She wanted Hope to be okay and she desperately wanted to stop questioning her feelings concerning the young man. "And now you're so quiet and-"

Hope huffed, getting a little miffed at her hypocritical accusation. "Like you're one to talk. You put up a wall around yourself and each and every time that I chip away a piece, you quickly replace it. I thought, I was finally going to get through. But I'm not... am I?"

Lightning's eyes widened. _This is about that?_

"Of course I hide everything away under a facade of the usually happy me. What else am I supposed to do? I'm completely freaked. I thought I was safe. I thought that C-Castea was dead, gone. That she couldn't hurt me or anyone else ever again." He stopped as he felt his throat tighten. "But no, and I should be truly terrified, right? Yet all this does is remind me of what I want in my life and how... I can't have it."

Lightning's eyes snapped to his and every word, every response she'd thought of earlier was zapped from her brain. She shook her head, hoping that she could keep this discussion from veering off into her decision and back to Castea. Suddenly she felt his hands on her shoulders and just that gentle touch brought shivers down her spine.

"I don't want to talk about her or them anymore. I want to talk about us."

One glance at him and she knew there was no denying him this conversation. But she had to try. This was definitely not the time for this anyway and she'd tell him just that. "Hope, this isn't the time to discuss this." She attempted to turn away from him, but he held firm.

"Look at our lives, Light. Who we are, what we constantly have to go through, there never is a right time. We have to make time and make the most of any time we're given."

A startling smirk grew on her as she looked into his eyes. "Where did you get this confidence? Where's that shy, timid boy I met on that crystallized lake?"

Hope smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Honestly? I'm terrified."

"Of me," she questioned, truly stunned to have that effect on him.

"Of your rejection." Pale hands slid from her arms, not wanting her to feel trapped and forced to respond, yet his gaze never wavered from her orbs that were clouded and glazed over with an unidentifiable emotion. "I know what you're going to say... and I guess it's fine. You at least took some time to consider us. I'm sorry I put you in this position. I really thought that when you kissed me that it was a sign of things to come, but I guess not. Just-" Heaving a heavy sigh, the young director raked a hand carelessly through his hair, finding himself wishing that he could snatch his little confession back. "I can dismiss my feelings since that's what you want." His hands latched onto hers almost in desperation, but her expression didn't change. "But I need you to say it. Just tell me already," he pleaded. "Yes or no. Because even though I know, there's still this faint glimmer of hope deep inside of me that I can't rid myself of. Frankly, I'm sick of it. This desire to be with you and the small expectancy that it may happen has rooted itself inside of me and no matter what I-j-just please... I'm-but..." He huffed a little, frustrated with his own stuttering. "We can't be together and I know that, but if..."

His words faded out until she was just watching his lips move as he uncomfortably squirmed before her, his hold on her hands loosening as he lost his conviction. He was rambling and stammering away, his eyes dropping from her carefully empty stare. It was amusing really, in an endearing sort of way. Not to mention kind of cute. The state Hope was currently in reminded Lightning so much of the boy she had met months ago that was actually years. The boy that had irritated her so much that she'd almost left him for dead. The boy that learned to fight and survive, eventually proving himself to the soldier that he was a worthy teammate. The boy she had come to care deeply for. The boy who had turned into a stunning young man that she now adored and had devoted herself to.

_And he thinks he knows what I'm going to say._ It was true that she still had many doubts and reservations about them being together, but she had made her decision and she would not waver from it now. She was going to at least try, because every time she even feebly thought no, her mind would immediately scold her in favor of screaming yes. As she thought about it now, really truly telling him, she could feel the anxiety rise from within. It felt like a joyful, energetic puppy was bounding around inside of her.

Coming back to reality, she noticed Hope was still blabbing away, completely unaware that his audience had tuned him out a while ago. Lightning attempted to interject, but apparently he too had fallen into his own torrent of thoughts, only his were flooding out of his mouth. Gearing up for an interesting end to this conversation, she blew her bangs out of her eyes, and poked him in the forehead with a smirk tugging at her lips. His mouth finally ceased moving as he waited for her response which Lightning gave quickly and honestly. "Yes."

Hope just stared at her, his jaw seemingly unhinged. "Wh-What?" His poor mind just couldn't register what she'd said even though it was what he had desperately wanted to hear. Maybe that was why.

Chuckling in response, Lightning shook her head at his small dumbfounded expression. "Yes," she replied, watching as her response effectively wiped away all traces of resignation and dejection from his face, leaving her feeling as light and fluffy as the fur on the said cheerful puppy wreaking havoc on her insides.

Her reply was as blunt and surprising as a baseball to the face, but what really hit him hard was her sincerity. A smile slowly spread across his lips as she continued.

"I want to be with you, Hope." She was then swept up into his warm embrace accompanied quickly by his lips that sought out hers. She succumbed to his affection, finding it unbearable not to. She wanted his passion to consume her as their lips desperately connected. Her hands slid into his hair, tugging at it while he hugged her waist tightly against him.

They broke apart after an unknown, but seemingly lengthy amount of time and just stared into each others eyes that shined with building joyful tears. In an attempt to calm down and talk like the adults they were supposed to be, not the hormonal lovestruck teenagers they were acting like, Lightning sighed. She reached out and ruffled his hair in an uncontrollable reflex she'd gained with him.

He chuckled before clearing his throat, realizing that he needed to address this news and make absolutely sure this was what Lightning wanted. Even though he'd really rather stay in this state of complete bliss, things needed said and understood. "Are you sure, Light?"

Having expected the question, she nodded. "But..."

_Of course, the dreaded 'but'._ She was going to back out.

"...this is really new territory for me... and..." She watched as he bit his lip in probably gut-twisting anticipation until she cupped his face in her hands, hoping to assuage unnecessary worry about what she had to say. "I want this. I do. I know that now. But... I'd like this to stay..."

Hope knew what she wanted to say. Interestingly, she couldn't get it out, which would have been amusing in a different situation. Right now, though, he couldn't bear to laugh. A minute passed of her gaze piercing into his eyes as he willed himself to beat away his true reaction to Lightning's maddening want for secrecy and finished for her. "Between us?"

"... if that's all right?"

Disappointment flickered in his gaze and he couldn't help it as his enthusiasm began to ebb away. But he accepted this with a smile and a curt nod before kissing those soft pink lips that he'd dreamed about for years.

It was a reasonable request, even if it was immensely disheartening.

* * *

She laid in the silky green grass of Hope's back yard, letting the quiet darkness envelope her. Zalera inhaled the irresistible scent of plant life all around her, the cool Pulse air drifting over her body, tickling her skin. Taking refuge in the peace offered, the woman let a few tears slide down her cheeks. It was times like these, in the comfort of nature while lost in the stillness of time, that she still felt Pulsian.

She had worried before. That her insertion in Academia would change her, would make her like 'one of them'. It was a constant term used apparently by both the people of Pulse and Cocoon and it sickened her. Especially since she had even used it, though only in her mind. It was like the other side was some form of disease. But there was nothing wrong with either side. Her very Pulsian presence in the Cocoon population would just have to prove it.

Although, she wasn't quite sure if that was true. Which side was she supposed to latch onto now?

The sound of the sliding door opening and closing drew her out of her musings. She sighed as she evaluated the footsteps approaching her. "Hey, Hope."

Hope hummed a hello in return. "How'd you know," he inquired, since Zalera hadn't looked toward him or even opened her eyes.

A grin asserted itself on her as she continued to lie there, sliding the grass through her fingers. "Your walk. You're a bit timid, Hope." She thought for a second. "Cautious," Zalera amended. "Lightning walks with more purpose... confidence. And if it were anyone else... well, we'd be in trouble, huh?" She lifted her head back to look behind her, seeing the silveret glare halfheartedly at her before muffling a laugh.

"Thanks," Hope expressed sarcastically. "What are you doing?"

A sigh fell through the air while she considered his question. "Just feeling." She received quite the inquisitive look and expanded upon her explanation. "The vibrations of the earth, the feel of the air and cool grass. Becoming one with nature or... something like that." Her face scrunched up a bit in thought. "This place... Academia... It's great that you could give your people back a piece of their old lives, the city life and all, but even though it's still on Pulse I feel like I'm worlds away. The lights, the sounds, the... people, it's not for me." She stood up and smirked at her friend while shaking her head and walking to his side. "Oh, don't look so concerned, Hope. I'm just feeling nostalgic. That's all."

A tense minute passed until Hope looked on, a serene feeling washing over him as he gazed upon the garden. Zalera stared at his state, noting that he looked as exhausted as she felt, if not more. "You should get some rest. You look..." He smiled before shaking his head as if to convey that he was fine and no worries should be had on his account. Concern flashed through his eyes as he caught sight of her shoulder, which he healed before she could protest.

Not straying from her topic, she continued. "Nightmares?" Of course his overwhelmed and tired appearance could very much be due to today's events, she had noticed that Hope had been this way for quite some time. Now she knew the secret he'd been harboring, though, and that had to have impacted him greatly while she'd been none the wiser. "I heard you last night. Sounded terrifying."

The young man swallowed thickly. Nightmares had been plaguing him and he knew they would only get worse now. If he'd be able to sleep, that is. "Do you..."

Zalera released another sigh and shrugged. "I've lived through so much that I've grown used to them. Whether that's a good or bad thing... It is what it is." It was a sad truth and she was past fretting about nightmares now.

"Mine were in the past," Hope spoke softly, a frown etching itself on his features. "The nightmares from the purge and my mom's death and... all of the l'Cie turmoil... Even the ones of my father's death were slowly fading, but... now-"

"The past haunts us," interrupted Zalera. "In our thoughts, memories, dreams... we just have to push through." She placed a firm hand on his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. "Now, where is firefly?"

A smile begged and pleaded to announce itself on his face until he couldn't resist. The woman beside him quirked a questioning brow at this, but he sidestepped the silent inquiry. "Are you going to call her that all the time now? 'Cause if Light hears that, I'm pretty sure you two are going to go at it."

"Oh, don't act like you wouldn't enjoy the show." Hope snorted in response before she returned to her earlier inferred question. "What did I miss between you two, anyhow? Don't tell me I missed the fireworks." You would have had to have been blind not to see the silveret's grin and the red smeared across his cheeks, even in the darkness of his backyard. "I did, didn't I?"

Hope nodded before quickly shaking his head and turning toward her, slight fear in his eyes. "But we're keeping it to ourselves for now, all right? You can't say anything."

Zalera's happiness diminished while she frowned. "Finally, it was painful watching the two of you, but... a secret? That was Lightning's idea wasn't it?" No doubt it was. The soldier wasn't hiding her feelings from Hope anymore, thank the Maker, but she was still hiding them from everyone else. It most definitely wouldn't be a good relationship from the start. Hope didn't deserve that just because Lightning couldn't fully deal.

"Yes, but I agreed-"

The green-haired woman growled. "That's not right. Lightning's just being-"

Hope clicked his tongue before rolling his eyes at her. "I know. I'm hoping she gets... we get passed this, but I'm taking what I can for now. It's better than nothing, right?" Hope had wanted to be with her for so long that he was just excited that his feelings were accepted, even if they were only somewhat returned. He waited for a nod before proceeding with what he originally intended to say when he'd come out here. "Now, I need to ask you for a favor."

* * *

Lightning was in a very sour mood. She was ready to rip apart the next person to touch or even speak to her. Zalera, no doubt noticing this, smirked at her, but stayed a good few feet away. "I'm going to mutilate that boy," muttered the soldier darkly as she stared at the store before her.

"Now, now, save that for the honeymoon." This comment earned her a serious scowl as Lightning threateningly reached for her gunblade. That did nothing to deter the fit of laughter that Zalera had ended up in, however. "Oh, lighten up. And you're not as scary as you think you are, _firefly_. So you can let go of your weapon now."

Looking at her with a confused and agitated glare, she sighed and relaxed her tense posture, still very not okay with the turn of events that day. An hour before, especially. She'd been dragged out of bed at the crack of dawn by a perky, bubbly Lebreau. After almost cutting the woman's head off in her grouchy state, Lightning was informed by a highly amused Zalera that the three women were going off to find dresses for Harleen's soiree occurring that night. After much squabbling and struggling, the girls had managed to heave the roseate out into the hideous world of shopping.

Lightning crossed her arms and stood stiff in the foyer of a very elegant and quaint boutique, her usual defiance toward any sort of femininity striking again. Sneering at a particularly bright, fluffy and vomit inducing dress, she felt her leg twitch toward the door in an urge to immediately bolt. _Or I could slice that monstrosity into a bunch of not-so-pretty bits. Yeah, no one would miss it._

"Calm down, soldier girl," said Lebreau as she passed the still fuming pinkette. "It's not going to jump out and attack you. Although," a pensive look overcame the woman's usually cheery face before she continued, "I wouldn't put it past that dress. The way that chiffon is laid makes it look like it has teeth."

"Ugh, I don't have time for this. I should be protecting H-" She was cut off by Zalera as she was spun around and pushed until she was shoved into the nearest dressing room.

"The kid is fine. He took the day off at his house and is having some man time with Rygdea, Sazh, Maqui and Yuj."

"Where's the men," grumbled Lightning as she slumped against the wall of the overly bright room.

Although very worried herself about Hope's current protection detail, Zalera willed her concern away since she was fulfilling his favor. _Boy, does he owe me big time._ She shook her head and chuckled. "He'll be fine. Besides, this'll be quick and painless if you stop resisting." She turned to Lebreau and whispered for her to find some gowns while she dealt with the whiner. "You'll only be wearing it for a few hours, anyway."

"I don't do dresses. Why can't I just wear my damn uniform? That's the reason I'm going. To guard him."

The Pulsian rolled her eyes in response, getting tired of the girl's bitter attitude. In light of this, she shoved Lightning fully in the room and stepped in, shutting and locking the door behind her. "Actually, you should be going as Hope's date. But since you're such a fucking cop out, yes you're going as his guard. To make it up to him, you can at least look pretty." Zalera held a self-satisfied smirk as she stared at Lightning's disgruntled expression.

Huffing, Lightning pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'm still going to slaughter him for telling you."

"Whatever, Lightning. You can't wear your uniform because miss priss has everyone dressing formal at her parties, apparently. Even her own guards wear tuxedos. But why don't you just wear a tux," suggested Zalera, snickering. "I'm sure you'll attract _loads_ of attention then, just like you like."

Lightning stared murderously at the wall before her, knowing Zalera was right. She decided to relent. Until Zalera had decided to continue speaking.

"Besides, don't you want to see the look on Hope's face when you descend his staircase, all delectably gorgeous. He'll want to jump you right-"

"Shut it, Zalera," Lightning shouted before lowering her tone drastically as the store had quieted in the wake of her outburst. "You know about us, great, now can you just zip it." A light blush burned on her face as she looked away.

Already fed up with the way Lightning treated hers and Hope's new relationship, Zalera couldn't help but tell her off. "You know what? No. I won't zip it. I can't believe that you're acting like such a scaredy-cat about this. You, _thee_ Lightning Farron that everyone talks about as this great and courageous being. Because you look pretty fucking small from where I'm standing."

"The hell is that supposed to mean," Lightning growled, fist clenching at her side.

With a deadpan stare and a tilt of the head as if to ask 'you really don't know,' Zalera resumed her reprimanding. "This kid is so sweet and loving and seriously deserves a real damn relationship with the person he loves. What does he get? A relationship that he has to lie about and hide as if it were so fucking surreptitious that no one would understand. Shit, how could you be so cold? He loves you, truly head-over-heels loves you and you can't man up to let others know you at least share some feelings. Are you ashamed or something? I mean, jeez." Zalera stormed out of the dressing room before the stunned soldier could defend herself. The emerald haired woman stopped right inside the entrance, however, to say one last thing. "And I can't believe, after everything you've been through, with all that's against you two, and with what's after him, that you would waste the precious time you have together." With a deep sigh, she went off to cool down and find her own gown just as Lebreau came back to hand Lightning some to try on.

* * *

Over the next few hours, while numbly being draped in dozens of horrifically overpriced gowns and being in a competitive silence with Zalera, Lightning thought over the argument the two had been in earlier. Although she'd rather bite her own hand off than admit such a thing, she was realizing that Zalera may have been right. Maybe keeping them a secret was a bad idea. Although, she still wasn't entirely sure that a _relationship_ with Hope wasn't a bad idea. Was it really so wrong for her to want to keep her private affairs private? Hers and Hope's love lives were nobody else's business. They didn't need to parade it in front of everyone's prying eyes. Of course, she knew she'd be getting quite a few disbelieving looks once people found out the ice-hearted bitch had a boyfriend.

_Tch, our relationship. Maker, when did that word become so easy to use? This is too new to really decide much. If this... thing with Hope becomes serious enough, then we'll tell people. But for right now... it's just us. I mean Hope said he was okay with it. Just because_ the heathen _has a problem with it, doesn't mean he does, right? What the hell does she know?_

Besides, that wasn't what needed her attention. As soon as she was done being pushed into gowns ranging from ones that practically belonged in the Elizabethan Era to ones so skimpy they would make her sister blush, Lightning was going back to her main focus in life - protecting Hope.

But was protecting him physically enough? Besides his over-all moodiness because of his longing for their... togetherness, she could tell he was still deeply traumatized and becoming increasingly withdrawn. With this last appearance of Castea and her new threats, there was no doubt in her mind that Hope had to be close to spiraling. She hoped that the new development in their relationship could soothe some of his pain, but there was only so much she could do, only so much she could give, especially so soon in their... thing. _Yes, okay maybe 'thing' isn't the right word..._ She had to find some way to help Hope relax. Find some way for him to find some peace that didn't ask too much from her. Also maybe something that could help her get to know him a bit better.

Lightning considered this for quite some time. While she had known Hope for quite a while now, and she liked to think that she knew him on a pretty deep level, she had no idea what he liked to do in his spare time. The kid hardly took any time off from work and when he did it was to eat, which was done minimally and unhealthily, and to sleep, also done minimally. If he ever found any time at all to do unproductive things, he spent it with his friends. Hope didn't really give himself time to relax at all. This realization caused Lightning to notice a rather alarming flaw in her companion. His selflessness and workaholic ways were going to cause him to collapse. And she needed to help him recognize this. Even if it meant tying him to a chair and forcing him to take a break every once in a while.

The three women exited the store after having spent an exhausting amount of time doing such a trivial thing as dress shopping, and were going to be driven back to Hope's by Dornum. Lightning was still consumed in her thoughts about how to get Hope to relax. She thought about asking Hope what he liked and asking to do whatever that may be. But then she figured it would be nice to know ahead of time, so she could just suggest it herself instead of coaxing it out of him. She could ask one of the women with her now, but she didn't really know Lebreau and she was still in a silent fight with the elder woman. Besides, if she didn't know, she doubted those two did. It was then that she remembered that she was only a couple blocks from Cass' apartment. He had been best friends with Hope for years and would surely know what he enjoyed in his spare time. Asking Cass things may end up costing her dignity because the little punk was, well, a little punk, but it was for Hope.

In light of her decision, she shoved her gown into Zalera's unsuspecting arms and began walking away from the car and down the street, uncaring of the two bewildered women behind her.

Zalera growled at the girl's petulant carelessness before handing her clothing items to Lebreau and telling her to head back. She was going to head after the sergeant and they'd make their way back later.

A couple minutes after storming off, Lightning heard someone trotting up behind her, a dark aura surrounding her. "Go home, _Z,"_ Lightning barked.

The Pulsian only continued to follow, her frown deepening. "What are you doing? I thought you couldn't wait to get back to Hope. You're like a dog with a bone, I swear." Zalera grinned. "What should I expect, though, with how deeply in love-"

"Just shut it." Lightning went to slam her fist into Zalera's cheek but the emerald-haired woman swiftly dodged the move and grabbed the soldier's arm, twisting it back behind her painfully. "Let go."

"Let's get this straight," Zalera spat, her hold tightening.

The woman forced Lightning down onto one knee, the younger getting more infuriated by the second. She struggled, but it seemed she'd grossly underestimated Zalera's strength.

"I'm not one to be messed with and don't bother challenging me. You will lose. I don't want to fight you, Lightning. It may seem like I'm begging for a fight, but I'm only looking out for Hope. I want to protect him not only physically but emotionally, as well. Like friends do. I do like you, _Firefly_ , but I'm not going to watch you stomp on the kid's feelings. You are a tremendously skilled fighter and have a good, loyal heart. I know that with time and effort, you two will make one hell of a couple. Your hardheadedness, fear of attachment, and fear of intimacy is what bothers me, though. If you really care for him, you're going to have to work on those flaws of yours." With this she let go of Lightning, stepping back while the girl jumped up from her spot and turned in her direction.

She seethed with rage, but knew Zalera's words rang true. All of them. This only made her want to sock Zalera more. Her fist clenched and loosened a few times before she sighed and continued on to her original destination, hearing tense footsteps trailing behind her and huffed mutterings coming from her tail.

Once they were outside of the shabby apartment complex, Lightning whipped around to face Zalera, the woman almost stumbling into her due to Lightning's quick, unpredicted movement. "I'm looking out for him emotionally, too. Believe me, I wouldn't be here if I wasn't."

Zalera's brow furrowed as she glanced at the building before her. "And here would be...?"

"This is Cassidy Leonald's place. He's-"

Zalera held her hand up. "I've met him. An interesting fellow, that one. But what are we doing here and what does this have to do with your concern over Hope?" She knew a bit about the boy and his connections to Hope, but she failed to see the end game in all of this.

Crossing her arms and jutting out her hip, the roseate clicked her tongue. "He knows Hope. He knows him well." Lightning paused and kicked at a rock. "Hope hasn't been-"

"I know."

"I wanted to find a way to get him to relax. You know, enjoy himself. But I don't know how. I figured Cass might have an idea as to what he would... like... to..." Lightning slowly came to a stop, noticing amusement blooming on Zalera's face.

It was hilarious, really. Had the girl not had a boyfriend before? Zalera knew a few things Lightning, and probably only Lightning, could do to take Hope's mind off of his worries. It seemed that these _things_ hadn't occurred to the younger, though. It was interesting, for Zalera knew Lightning wasn't naïve. But maybe they weren't at that point in their relationship. Knowing Cass, he'd surely bring it up anyway, so there was no need for her to suggest using those kinds of distractions. Besides, it was sweet that the girl wanted to know more about Hope's interests and bond. Shoving down her bubbling chuckles, Zalera motioned for Lightning to continue on to his place. "I get it."

The door to his apartment was ajar, immediately alarming the two visitors. Both took out their weapons while glancing at each other, both assured they were prepared and would have the other's back. Holding her weapon in gunmode, ready to shoot any threat she detected, Lightning slowly pushed the door open. The living room, the first room of the apartment they stepped into, was dark as was the rest of the place as it seemed that all lights were off. A steady stream of light drifted in through the windows, though, enough to show just how completely wrecked the place was. It was trashed, to say the least. The TV was knocked onto the floor, its screen shattered and its stand broken in half. The coffee table was in shambles in front of the flipped over couch. Papers and books were strewn across the floor as if a tornado had graced the room with its remarkable winds. And even the walls had deep gashes in them, made by what appeared to be a very sharp blade, obviously only done to make a point.

Shooing away any worry her mind had suddenly gained for Cass, Lightning quietly stepped into the apartment, Zalera quick to follow. Upon seeing that the mess carried throughout the entire home, as expected, but still unnerving, the Pulsian's grip on her chakram strengthened. They both stood in the entrance, eyes taking in everything to be seen, ears set to hear any unwelcome company that may be had. Lightning was just about to step away to check the bedroom and send Zalera to check the kitchen, when the elder woman swiftly held a hand to her chest. Her gaze found Zalera's which was trained on the couch.

The warrior knew what Lightning was going to do. Split up and find if anyone was in the apartment and if not, figure out what happened and find Cass. It was what Zalera thought to do as well. But she had already detected another presence in the room. She could smell someone. Even over the stench of rotting food and beer that reeked from the kitchen, no doubt a result from whatever fiasco took place before their arrival, Zalera could still smell strong body odor wafting over to her nose from the direction of the flipped furniture. There was also light erratic breathing that was emanating from that direction. She gave the girl a glance and noticed a nod given.

Lightning took a step towards the couch while aiming her gun blade just above it, ready to strike down whomever the coward was. Just as her finger wavered over the trigger, a man sat up swiftly, his triple barrel revolver trained on the roseate.

Before either made a move or the recognition of the man could set in, a chakram flew towards his head, landing just a few milometers from his ear, sticking itself in the wall with its shiny, sharp spike.

The man's now wide eyes glanced at the weapon that could have very well been embedded into his head, before he slumped back against the wall, his arm falling to his side, gun thumping on the floor. "Honestly, as if there weren't enough people trying to kill me."

Lightning sighed. "Cass." She gave him a look, seeming to ask if anyone else were gracing them with their presence, but he shook his head, leading her to sheathing her weapon.

The two women took in the kid's appearance. He was still slouching against the wall, his eyes now closed in a relieved and calm manner. He looked horrible. Dark circles wore under his eyes, his lips painfully chapped, clothes thoroughly ruffled and hair in more of a disarray than usual. He had quite a bit of stubble, which was puzzling considering, although not usually a characteristic of someone of his laziness, he was always clean shaven. There was a lot of bruising around his left eye and nose, as well, but it looked a day old, at least. "Well, don't you look like death," commented Zalera.

Cass only smiled weakly before heaving a sigh. "Oh, you mean this," he asked with a gesture to his person, "I was just trying a new look. What do you think, ladies? Matches my apartment, huh?"

Crinkling her nose as she walked over to him and grabbed her chakram, Zalera lifted up his gun and gave it a once over. "You smell like an Alchemic Ooze. When the hell was the last time you bathed?"

"Whatever, I'm still the finest thing your eyes have ever seen. Cutting it a little close, huh, babe," asked Cass, eyeing her weapon.

Zalera smirked at the little twerp at her feet and dropped his revolver unceremoniously into his lap, an oomph leaving him as she slung her chakram back into its home in her back straps. "Please. The second I saw it was you, my aim was immediately cast away from its original target, much to my dismay."

Before Cass could utter a retort, Lightning cut across him. "What happened?" Her face was set in a dull mask, feigning disinterest. She wasn't quite sure why she cared, but she did. There was no lying to herself. Whether it was the fact that she'd actually grown to like the kid, or because he meant so much to Hope, or because this could be a part of the deranged l'Cie after her charge, she wasn't sure. She was inclined to think the latter, because this seemed to be too much of a coincidence with Castea's most recent attack. Maybe the woman wasn't just going to go after Hope, but those close to him as well. This thought made her chest tighten and her worry for Hope grow ten fold.

She attempted to calm down and rationalize. She had been warned multiple times about Cass' want for danger and its thrills. Apparently seeking it out through any means. But something just felt off about this situation. Something was completely wrong.

Standing unsteadily, his weight still mostly held by the wall behind him, the young man smirked. "You know me, just can't resist a good time."

"Some tramp you hook decide to exact revenge when she saw how little you had to offer," Zalera mused.

"Wow, she has a sense of humor. Well I guess if the ever stiff soldier can, then I guess the tense warrior can too. Brains, braun, humor, and unbelievable sexiness. Man, Hope really doesn't know what he has."

Lightning rolled her eyes. "Still a pervert, I see."

"Still such a prude, I see." Cass winked before picking up his weapon and sliding it into the back of his pants, soon sitting on the overturned couch. "Well seeing as I apparently welcome unannounced guests in my home, come on in. Have a seat."

"What's going on-"

The seventeen year old waved a hand, brushing off Lightning's concern. "Like I said, just a good time gone better. This is what happens when a party's done right."

Lightning didn't buy it for a minute. "If this has anything to do with whose after Hope, then you best explain."

_Ah, so that's what has you all ruffled._ "I heard what happened. I'm glad Hope's all right, but don't fret, my pink haired goddess, this had nothing to do with your lover's foes."

Glaring at Cass and his irritating nonchalance about everything, Lightning huffed. "Yeah, whatever."

"Anyway, as much as I enjoy the eye-pleasing company…" Cass reached out and stroked Zalera's thigh that was beside him. "I'd like to know why-"

Before he could even finish the first brush of his hand against the woman's pale skin, he found his throat in Zalera's strong grip and his body held against the wall. "Your salacious words were enough, even tolerable, but keep your lecherous limbs to yourself."

Lightning chuckled. "Guess I'm not the only one who has a hard time in his presence."

"He's amusing to a degree, but I will not allow myself to be preyed upon. Especially not by one so young."

"How old are you, anyway," inquired Lightning, quite amused by the color change in the boy's face.

"Twenty-six."

"Hmm."

Cass wheezed in the woman's tight hold. "Um… guys," Cass choked out.

"You should probably let the runt breathe. I did come here for a purpose, after all."

Zalera released her hold and let out a light laugh as the kid fell to his knees, gulping in air like a fish out of water.

After his face's color returned and his coughing subsided, he glared at his attacker. "I didn't know that you liked it rough. Could've given me a bit of a heads up, but then it's not as fun, right?" His grin shrank as Zalera stomped on his hand.

"What a scuzzball."

Lightning snorted in response. "Anyway, I have a question for you, if you're not too busy living in the lap of luxury, of course."

Cass stood and bowed before them. "At your service, my fare maidens."

The emerald-haired woman put a hand to her hip as she rolled her eyes. "A gentleman now, eh?"

"I just wanted to know something." Not that this banter wasn't cute and all, but it was taking far too long to get the answers she was seeking. It was obvious that Cass wasn't going to spill about his current predicament and now he was just going to toy with his visitors for his own entertainment. As usual. She knew his crude humor and mischievous tactics were to guard himself from others. There was an intriguing depth to Cass, but he didn't care to allow anyone to examine it and Lightning didn't care to seek it out. She was here for one thing. Hope. "I know you haven't been around to notice,"a another thing Lightning found odd. If they were so close, why didn't they ever socialize. Even with all of the tension between Hope and Nivien, they still talked every once and a while. "But Hope has been running himself into the ground. And with his torture and now with the wench's reappearance, his stress level is through the roof. He needs to unwind and…" Although she had successfully sounded very detached, it was clear by Cass' cheshire grin that her overwhelming concern was obvious.

"Oh, so you want to help Hope relax? Simple." She already didn't like where this was going. "Just go down on his d-"

Zalera cuffed him over the head before he could continue, but couldn't contain her laughter as she took in the flustered expression on the younger woman's face.

Shaking her head and letting out a sigh, Lightning crossed her arms before her. "I should have known this would be a waste of time."

"No." Cass controlled his own laughter before accomplishing a look of seriousness. "I'm sorry. It's just so easy. I know Hope likes to work. It takes his mind off of the mistakes he's made in his life. It also gives him that sense of purpose he's always craved. Especially when he's working to protect his people. But, yeah, he needs to chill out. Nivien and I used to have to drag him out of his studies or whatever project or training he was in. We would just go out and have fun, even though half of the time Hope's heart really wasn't in it, you know?" He began to finger the hem of his shirt, a nervous habit he'd reacquired recently. "He enjoys reading, cooking, gardening… all that quiet domestic stuff, I suppose. That pansy." He chuckled. "I don't know, Lightning. I'm pretty sure though, that if it involves you, it would make him the happiest." A look of revelation crossed his features before Cass began again. "It's been awhile… a long while since he's played… but I know that when things were really hectic and stressful back in the old days, he would play his violin."

Lightning looked thoughtful for a few brief moments. She had wondered before what it would be like to hear him play. Lightning nodded. "Thanks, Cass."

"We may not be as close as we used to be, but… take care of him, please. Things are going to get worse. Hope does need to relax, but he also needs to be ready."

She thought to ask how the kid knew exactly that things were going to worsen, but he got up and walked into the next room before her thoughts could form words.

"I enjoyed this little visit, but I need to spend some quality time in my little hovel. You guys can see yourselves out." He bit his lip as he began picking up shards of glass from the broken beer bottles littered along the linoleum. He nodded to Zalera as she gave a half-hearted wave. "Milady," he said as his head bowed.

Zalera scoffed and chuckled. "Your hoboness," she replied as she bowed in return.

Cass snorted as they left. When he could no longer hear their footsteps, he slouched down on the ground. His jovial smile quickly fell, leaving a quelled anger and pensivity inside him. Taking out his gun, the brunet eyed it for a few brief seconds. He considered sticking it in his mouth and letting a bullet bring him peace. It'd be better than seeing all that was to come - than facing what his and his friends' futures held. Instead he set the revolver down beside him and began cleaning up his home. "I'll prove how little you are. This time, I won't be the one left in the dark."

* * *

Castea stood on a building, staring intently at the identical one directly across from it. In her minds eye, she could see her plan working perfectly. Hope seeking and retrieving the crystals - him piecing the fragments together - the world ripping itself apart and all life disintegrating into nothing as Buinivelze graced the planet with his presence - a new world born from this one's ashes. _If only the boy would just cooperate._ After everything Castea had done in her life, after everything she'd worked toward, she wasn't going to let the little runt get in her way. _The defiant brat should know by now that I am not one to be trifled with. I swear, if he weren't so important, I would have gutted him ages ago. The little menace._

Sebastian came up behind her, ready to inform her of their little progress. He quietly cleared his throat to gain her attention. "Lady Hidon."

"Have you located the Pulsian, yet? The one with ties to Zalera?"

He shook his head as she turned toward him, his head bowed out of respect and disgrace for coming empty handed. "We almost had him, but we lost his trail. We think he might have attached himself to another tribe."

Castea put her finger under her minion's chin to raise his head and meet her eyes. "Do not fret, darling. I didn't expect you to have collected him yet, anyhow. But he could prove very useful in the future. Find him. I'm not sure what measures we'll have to take to get the young Estheim moving..." She paused and turned to peak at the people that she had been watching for some time. The l'Cie smiled as familiar pink and green came back into her vision as the two women exited an apartment building. "But my patience is wearing thin."


	17. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...My future, for as long as you'll allow, lies with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rights to the song Human belong to Civil Twilight.

"You know you're going to pay for that little stunt you pulled earlier," growled Lightning, playful maliciousness in her tone. She wasn't going to let the woman get away with how she'd handled her earlier. Even if the Pulsian was older, stronger, and a more experienced fighter, it wasn't her style to let these things go easily. Though Lightning did have much respect for her, she didn't like others thinking they had the better of her.

Zalera snorted in response. She paused mid walk, halting the roseate a few feet ahead of her. They had been walking on the sidewalk in the center of the city on the way to Hope's place, until the girl felt the need to speak of earlier brusque actions. At least Lightning seemed to be getting back to her normal self after their visit with Cass. Of course, she'd probably still be her same hard-headed self when it came to hers and Hope's relationship, no matter what anyone said. "Heh, really? You sure about that, hun?"

_Hun?_ Visibly sneering, Lightning turned to Zalera with a glare. "Don't call me that."

A smirk passed across her lips as she replied, "Well you can try." A bit of a match with the soldier could prove quite fun and would help her assess Lightning's skills further. Although, she'd admit, the middle of the street was not a very suitable place for that.

Before Lightning could manage a retort back, she felt something shift. The air around her didn't feel right. This was before she came to notice how silent everything was around her. Her eyes drifted over the city, taking in the astounding sight that nothing was moving. Absolutely everything was still, frozen in time. The cars on the street seemed paused in mid-motion as did the small amount of pedestrians across from them on the other side of the street. The world was eerily still, not even a breeze was present.

The young woman's wary eyes met the others, finding mirrored worry and confusion come back at her. Zalera withdrew her weapons from her back straps at once as Lightning brought her gunblade at the ready at her side. The soldier glanced up, taking comfort in the fact that the clouds were still drifting in the sky. The rest of the world was still moving, still turning as any other day, but this part of the city lied on pause.

"Lightning," called Zalera curtly, drawing the others attention.

Her gaze fell back upon Zalera who was staring at something a ways past her, hatred and fury etched upon her features. Lightning turned to find a familiar sight some yards away. There before them, was a former opponent, or as she knew him now, Sebastian. Her gaze snapped away from him to the others crowding around the pair just a small distance away. Fourteen and more, she counted before her attention was drawn back to the bulky man in charge.

"Well, I'm feeling a bit of déjà vu. How about you, my fair guardians?" Sebastian stood tall, a proud smirk across his features that were visible this time.

Lightning could only stare at the man as an untamable amount of rage built up inside of her in a matter of seconds. This was the man that had distracted her from protecting Hope. This was the man that had taken great pleasure in bringing Hope to the brink of death so many times. And Lightning knew that he would do so again when given the chance. Murder was far from the woman's mind as she knew that Sebastian deserved far worse than death. Ice cold eyes locked on her target as she gripped her weapon hard, causing her whole arm to shake with tightly wound anticipation.

"How dare you show your face around here," spat Zalera as she seethed. There was no way that she was going to let these assholes best her again. _No, not this time. Not after what you did to Yeul._ Quickly raising her chakram to knock out the first worthless bozo in the way of her target, the warrior soon paused as Lightning zoomed past her, taking the nameless minion down in an instant.

The roseate lunged for her first prey, catching him off guard and slashing across his chest swiftly. He fell with a thud as she went for another, effectively beginning the battle. Red was all she saw as she seemed to mindlessly attack all in her way. Lightning was like a rabid dog that had been let loose, tearing into anything that crossed her path.

Three shots fired from her gunblade toward one large man before her, aimed at his face, but the bullets bounced off of his protection spell. This didn't surprise Lightning in the least as she roundhouse kicked him in the gut only a second later, her blade then sinking into the back of his neck. A chakram flew past her, nearly slicing her bicep as it hit another opponent, letting her know that the elder was fighting as well.

A blizzard spell caught the emerald haired woman in the ankle, momentarily freezing her foot in place. Two l'Cie simultaneously came at her from both sides as she was immobilized. She ducked when a small dagger was flung at her head as she was caught in the side by a fira from the other attacker. Gripping her side, Zalera drew up her chakram and slammed it up into the flame thrower's jaw, a spike stabbing up through skin and muscle and into his mouth. Blood gushed down her arm from the shrieking man before her as she turned toward the other man.

The other attacking l'Cie with a visible brand on his left hand looked to his flailing comrade with disinterest before going for the girl again. His dagger was aimed at her chest before her unoccupied arm came up with her other weapon, blocking the man's attack. While holding off the branded annoyance, Zalera let go of the chakram now stuck in the dead man's head, his body limply colliding with the ground. She resolved to get her chakram back after finishing off the l'Cie currently attacking her.

Lightning slid beneath the female l'Cie she was now facing, a woman just as muscular and physically intimidating as many of her friends, dodging the sweep of a blade. The young soldier then went to stab her, but was shocked to find no one there.

Seconds after, she saw brisk movement in the corner of her eye. She ducked a sword as it came toward her right eye, taking a nick to the cheek in the process. The small stinging sensation did nothing to stop the trained woman as she brought up her gunblade in gun mode and shot numerous times into the l'Cie's stomach. With a loud, rough cry the woman crumpled to the ground clutching her stomach as she attempted to cure the damage. Lightning was having none of that and sliced the woman's head clean off her shoulders before the first cure spell could even be muttered.

Blood from her previous opponents dripped down the tendrils of her pink bangs and into her face. Paying this no mind, the girl flipped towards another of the numerous l'Cie still standing. Before she could make it, however, a large hand reached out to grasp Lightning's calf, pulling her back and slamming her into the wall of a tall brick building.

A giant fire ball struck Zalera in the leg, freeing her foot from the ice, but also scorching the appendage quite badly. The pain was blocked out though as she fended off another attack following the last one. A new pain followed bringing the warrior to her knees as a thunder spell ran through her entire body.

Eyes and mind began to lose focus in the aftermath of these attacks. The world spun around her as her body shook involuntarily. Within moments she suddenly felt weightless, like she was floating. No, she wasn't floating, more like flying. Sideways.

A cry was emitted from her throat as she hit the top of a car that had been parked by the curb. Her body rolled off the vehicle only to flop onto the rough pavement that was the street. Groaning in anguish, the woman spat out a mouthful of blood and began to stand, knowing that a few of her ribs were now bruised and broken. She regained her balance only to find herself surrounded by four more opponents.

A gloved fist came toward Lightning's face from the surprisingly lanky guy that had grabbed her. Quickly moving her head to the side, she watched as the fist flew into the wall before she kicked the l'Cie's legs out from under him.

"You're quite the fighter," was all the lean man got to say before she stabbed him in the face.

"You have no idea." Lightning stood, her head spinning and her body aching. She breathed at a fast pace, her lungs burning as she fought a multitude of others in the seemingly never-ending battle.

A ways away the soldier could see Sebastian making his way toward a distracted Zalera. He had his eyes on the elder, but Lightning knew he was speaking to her.

"And just think. Last time this happened, my beautiful queen was whisking your charge away as we fought, leading him to his doom. This could truly be some heavy déjà vu. I wonder what she shall do with him now."

Fury burned through Lightning. Her rage vanished, though, when she realized just how close the man was to Zalera who still hadn't realized his proximity to her.

Without her notice, a sword came toward Zalera, ready to slice open her stomach.

"Lookout," screamed Lightning as she came between the girl and the offending weapon. The blade slashed through Lightning's abdomen, sending her to the ground at Zalera's feet.

The warrior looked down at her teammate, momentarily horrified. Her head jerked up, viciousness in her green irises as they came to see the man who had dealt the blow.

Sebastian withdrew his weapon and let it vanish from his palm. "One down."

Zalera cursed the man before her as she went to stab the hulk who had hurt so many in her life. As the weapon came down, it hit a barrier that shimmered around him, protecting the l'Cie from the hit. Her chakram fell from her hand causing the woman to growl.

"You can't seem to protect anyone, can you? Not either of your tribes. Not Yeul. Everyone dies while you're just too weak to do anything." Sebastian laughed at his words while Zalera fumed and her eyes darkened, a blinding fury gripping her. Her fist came up and collided with his jaw only for him to grasp the back of her hair and slam her head down into a car beside her not once, not twice, but three times before he let her unconscious body fall to the ground next to her chakram and fallen comrade.

Sebastian turned his gaze toward Lightning who was unconscious as well. "It seems that this would be goodbye." His blade was then summoned back into his palm, ready for battle. Sebastian brought it down toward the sergeant's still form as it made the plunge toward her chest.

Lightning's eyes shot open as she rolled away from the descending blade. With a slightly pained smirk, the soldier gripped her gunblade and stabbed it into the man's chest. She was ready to stab again and again until there was nothing left but bits of the large man until…

She blinked.

The world was right again. Cars were moving. People were walking, talking and laughing. Stop lights were changing. Zalera and Lightning were back as they originally were, facing each other, ready to argue. All marks were gone. Injuries nonexistent. The scene around them was even left unmarred.

Wide eyes stared into each other's, leaving Lightning to mutter a quiet, "What the fuck?"

* * *

When the two came to Hope's driveway, Lightning stopped abruptly, needing to calm her torrent of thoughts.

They had found nothing. After the world had gone back to normal, the two women searched the surrounding area for a good half hour, frustration, confusion and devastation within them. It was like the battle had never occurred despite that they knew it had.

The sergeant had immediately whipped out her comm then and called Hope, fearing the worst. The young man answered, half laughing into the phone, presumably at one of his friends surrounding him. Nothing was wrong and he was just fine. She had hung up and they walked silently back towards the house since, both still on guard of another attack and yet completely wrapped up in their own minds, trying to make sense of the situation.

Zalera came up beside the stiff girl and said something completely unexpected. "We can't tell him." Lightning's head whipped around to sternly face her companion. "Or anyone for that matter."

"And why the hell not? Hope could be in danger. _We_ sure as hell are."

Zalera's jaw tightened as she began to sort out her thoughts into a suitable explanation. "Whatever just happened, no matter if we have the wounds to prove it or not, it was intentional. They came after _us_ for a reason. Actually, probably _you_ for a reason. They didn't go near him. And you wanna know why?" A look crossed over Lightning's face that let her know the girl knew, but she carried on. "Because Castea is using you against him, using her little mind tricks to get him to go for the crystals by attacking you. Because no matter what, the one thing that will get him moving is you."

Fists clenching at her sides, Lightning stared hard at the ground. "So? Maybe we _should_ get the crystals."

A protest was at the tip of the elder's tongue before she was cut off.

"We aren't getting anywhere with this. We should just do the damn job and face these stupid l'Cie. Instead of continuously avoiding the problem, let's face it-"

"And get Hope killed?"

Lightning stared into Zalera's eyes with a hardened expression, rendered completely silent.

"Get the rest of the world and ourselves obliterated? Because that's all that will come of getting those damn crystals-no", cried the warrior as Lightning began to speak. "You don't know what will happen. You didn't see it. Yeul did. She saw a world decimated, people incinerated in seconds. Or your precious Hope dying trying to stop it." Zalera gripped Lightning's shoulders tightly, trying to get her point across. "Your first instinct is to fight, to protect at all costs. I don't blame you because it's mine to, but nothing good will come of the crystals nor trying to obtain them. This time we have to wait and figure out a strategy to take Castea down."

"We still should tell them. Tell him. He needs to know, to be prepared."

"No." A sigh fell from her lips as Zalera let go. "You and I both know that will only set Hope off. He can't know."

* * *

Hope walked into the kitchen under the guise of getting something to drink, but really he just needed a moment alone. His head was still reeling from the events of the previous day and of the potential danger surrounding him.

He had told Lightning that he was fine, because physically, he really was. But otherwise, he wasn't feeling so hot. "I can't stop it, can I? I can't stop what's coming."

Tugging up his sleeve, Hope looked at his brand that seemed to hold the fates of so many, not forgetting his own, within its overwhelming power. While looking at the brand, he couldn't help but want to slice the blue tattoo off. Harleen had been entirely wrong. It was he who didn't belong. Not Zalera. Hope was the abomination. The one who deserved to be isolated from not only all previous inhabitants of Cocoon, but from Pulsians, as well. _I'm no better than Castea…_

While holding an empty glass originally intended for water, the silveret clutched it tightly until it shattered in his gloved hands, glass pieces and shards falling to the tiled floor.

Lebreau and Sazh, being closest to the kitchen, heard this and were about to check it out when the front door opened, Zalera and Lightning stepping through.

The brunette sighed as she shook her head at the two. "And where have you been? You just ditched me. I feel insulted. A whole hour and a half I've been with these knuckleheads."

"Hey," cried Maqui. "You don't gotta get rude."

"Oh, don't get your boxers in a knot." Lebreau chuckled as Maqui puffed his cheeks out and made to throw a couch pillow at her.

Sazh rubbed his forehead and sighed watching the two. He turned to Lightning as she came up beside him, a hint of worry on her face. "Seriously, though, where've ya'll been?"

Lightning crossed her arms as her eyes scanned for Hope, causing Zalera to answer in her silence. "Don't worry about it."

"Where's Hope."

Sazh smiled at the anticipated question from Lightning. "In the kitchen."

The young man turned from in front of the garbage can to see Lightning come up behind him. "Hey, Light."

Lightning felt a weight lift off of her chest. Even though she had called him and Hope had said that he was okay, she needed visible proof. She hadn't realized at all how worried she'd been until seeing him alive and well in front of her. Lightning allowed a slight smile to accompany a greeting. "Hey."

_I can't tell you._

* * *

The soiree. It was dreaded by all three of the attendees left in the Estheim residence as they dressed in their formal wear.

Zalera was not thrilled in the least for the impending ritzy party. She knew she would stick out like a sore thumb for obvious reasons, but she would go. For Hope and Lightning.

Hope hated these things. Every Year. They were filled with many of Kori's obnoxious and thoroughly stuck up friends. He was more than likely to run into her father which never ended well. Nivien would be there, making things undoubtedly awkward, especially considering how their last conversation had gone. And then, of course, there was the hostess herself who would no doubt drape herself on his arm and ask him to dance numerous times, Hope each time politely declining, until he would eventually give in. He could feel the migraine coming.

The one thing, or person rather, that separated this year's bash from all the other boring and sickening ones, was Lightning. She would be coming. He would get to have her beside him. Maybe not in the way he would have liked, but it was still immensely pleasing, to say the least.

Lightning hadn't been to a party since she was a happy-go-lucky fourteen year old. _And it's not like my experience with those parties is going to help out with this one. A party in a two story house with a blaring stereo and a spiked punch bowl versus a_ soiree. _Maker, kill me now._ She would have to be around so many people, and whether they were unpleasant people or otherwise, the roseate was not a people person.

And the dress. Don't get her started on the dress.

Lightning groaned at the annoyance that was wrapped around her body. The thing was beautiful, she had to admit, but it was highly unnecessary.

Zalera snickered behind her on the bed. She'd come in a few minutes ago, ready for the hell awaiting them, and waited for the girl before her to get done with her finishing touches. Zalera had never seen Lightning squirm before, but she was definitely squirming in that gown.

A growl was emitted from Lightning's throat before she huffed and glared at the woman behind her. "And what is it that's so damn hilarious?"

Coughing to cover her amusement, Zalera stood, her emerald green spaghetti strap dress shimmering in the light of the soldier's room. It hugged her body until it hit the knees where it flowed to the floor. There was also a slit on the right side up to mid-thigh. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, beads still remaining. "You really don't like to dress up." One last chuckle bubbled up before she stopped herself. "I don't know why you're so fussy. You look beautiful."

She got a raised eyebrow in return for her compliment. "Well... thanks... I guess. You too, but... what is it with your obsession with green? You don't always have to match your hair, you know?" _Her heels are even green._

"It also matches my eyes, if you hadn't noticed," added Zalera wryly.

Rolling her eyes, Lightning headed for the door before stopping, her hand paused on the knob. "Something's going to happen soon. I can feel it."

"I know. We can't let it get to us now, though. We have to grin and bear it, for now. Or in your case, scowl and bear it… Yeah, like that." Zalera laughed at Lightning's expression, before maintaining seriousness. "For Hope, remember. We'll be on guard if anything happens at this shindig, although I doubt anything will."

She nodded before opening the door and leaving to find Hope. As she descended the stairs, she caught sight of Hope shortly before he saw her. She had to admit, he looked very handsome in his suit. He was standing at the bottom of the stairs in black pants, accompanied by a tucked in white dress shirt, a vest of pale green that brought out his eyes, and his black suit jacket over that. She noticed it was still unbuttoned as Hope brought his black silk tie around his neck and slipped it under the collar of his shirt.

Hope paused as he heard the girls descend. Zalera looked stunning in her dress. _Green, I should have guessed._ But Lightning was truly a sight to behold. Her gown was simple. A deep purple gown that accentuated her curves wonderfully and flowed down from mid-thigh. It was strapless and had a sweetheart neckline, open backed, with crystal like gems lining the top of the front. It was perfect for her. Her hair was in its normal style of being tossed over her shoulder, with light make-up dusting her face. The lightning bolt necklace still dangled down around her neck, for it seemed that she never took it off. The poor boy could only stare as she made her way down to him.

Lightning smirked at the teen who was all but gaping at her. She took the tie from his hands and finished tying it for him, then tucking it into his vest. "It's impolite to stare, Hope." She poked him in the forehead which seemed to draw him out of his daze, a light pink now dusting his cheeks as he stood bashful before her. She buttoned up his jacket as he remained unmoving.

He found his words when the last button was done, yet they came out as a light whisper. "You look gorgeous, Light."

A brow was raised as she replied, "You don't look so bad yourself."

* * *

The Grand Hall was where the soiree was to be held. The building had been funded and built by the Harleens to be used for grand speeches, fundraisers, galas and balls. Although, everyone knew that its original and primary purpose was to be for Burien Harleen's precious daughter's annual soiree. Anyone who'd lived in Palumpolum before the fall knew this especially, because the Harleen Soiree had been a yearly tradition there as well, since Koriandr turned five. On Cocoon, it was more for a celebration of Kori's existence. Now, the 'said' reason behind the soiree was to celebrate life. 'Because the fall of Cocoon taught us to appreciate and cherish the lives we're given'. Right. That's exactly what tonight was about...

It was a very large stone building reaching about two hundred feet in height. Stone steps led to an intricately carved archway. Angels were etched into the stone surrounding the words 'We shall live on'. This had been a common phrase in the early days after the fall, when many needed the motivation to carry on with their lives without their loved ones. Inside were marble floors and marble ceilings. Mahogany tables with silk tablecloths lied around the rim of the dance floor beside pillars that were purely decorative. There was a stage before the floor for entertainment, performances or speeches. An orchestra was set up there for the night, providing the music and adding to the overall high class atmosphere. It was just as to be expected, nothing but the best. Or as close to the best as they could get considering the immense differences in throwing a soiree on a thriving Cocoon and throwing a soiree on a struggling and newly established city on Pulse with not even a tenth of the usual population.

After being dropped off by Dornum, Hope and company strode into the building immediately met by a waiting Sazh, Maqui and Cass.

Hope was already annoyed, having gone to enough of these for a lifetime, but he put on a happy face, smiled widely and was ready to be a lively guest. He did it every year since the start of these parties on Pulse.

Lightning, while genuinely shocked, merely lifted a brow in appraisal. Although the place was beautiful, the whole thing was completely unnecessary and was a waste of time and money. She frowned before turning back to keeping watch over Hope, his odd enthusiasm amusing.

Zalera was wide-eyed at everything around her. She'd never seen anything as fancy and elaborate in the whole twenty-six years of her existence. At face value, gatherings on Pulse couldn't compare. But really it all seemed so cold and intimidating. The green-haired woman found she would much rather be at a Pulsian bash any day.

"Heya, guys," exclaimed Maqui.

Hope shook his head at his friend and chuckled. "Every year, Maq? You know, I figured you would stop wearing those to formal events eventually."

This caused the twenty-three year old to gasp dramatically. "Never! I will wear my goggles every day until the day I die," he announced proudly.

Cass smirked. "Don't even try. We all are pretty sure that he wears those things in the shower, man." The young man then pulled the goggles up from the elder's head just enough before letting them snap back down, a pained yelp preceding the action. "It's the only committed relationship this kid'll ever see."

Maqui growled and rubbed his head. "Why I outta-"

"Where's Yuj and Lebreau," asked Hope as he realized that their little party was missing some members.

Seeing as Cass and Maqui were too busy quarreling to answer, Sazh stepped in. "Lebreau went off to find Kori... and Yuj... didn't really feel like comin' to this, ya know?"

"Right..." _Gadot's still missing._

Another yelp was heard as Cass shoved Maqui who fell to the floor, practically flailing as he landed. "Ow..."

"So," started the triumphant brunet, now hooking an arm around Sazh's neck. "How's the overgrown chicken?"

Sazh smacked Cass upside the head with a frown. "How many times do we gotta go through this?"

"Not a chicken. Right. Got it," confirmed Cass as he rubbed the abused area with a pout.

"Not trying to be very popular tonight, Cass?" inquired Lightning sarcastically.

"When is my baby brother ever popular?" Kori decided to make an appearance within the small group, Lebreau at her heels, rolling her eyes. "But he looks so dashing in his tux. Aren't you just so adorkable?" She mussed up Cass's hair, causing her brother to attempt to bite her hand as she pulled it away.

_Unsuccessful again. Damn._ "It's wonderful to see you too, sis. And I _am_ lookin' pretty sharp, huh? More than I can say for you. Jeez, Kori, I don't know if I can even be seen with you." He then abruptly turned on his heel and walked away, entering further into the mass of attendees.

"You little punk, get back here," Kori hollered. "Whatever." She then rolled her shoulders back into a proper stance and attempted to put on her dignified appearance. She was wearing a quarter sleeved gown of a deep blue, black roses embroidered into the material. It hugged her midsection and cascaded down to the floor from her waist. Her long red hair was in an updo, a few strands intentionally framing her heart shaped face. "Anyhow, I'm very glad you all could make it. There's a buffet table over there if you feel a little famished. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have guests to entertain." With that, the girl walked away, already engaging an unsuspecting couple.

"She's a completely different person around her brother," commented Lightning.

Lebreau snorted as she smoothed out her short black and violet dress. "Pretty much. They're actually really adorable."

A shrug of the shoulders was Maqui's response before he said that he was starved and was going to check out the food, Lebreau and Sazh following.

"Hope! Light!" called a young boy's voice. They turned to find little Arden running up to them, an exasperated Jun not too far away. Hope nodded toward her to silently tell her that they'd watch him for a bit. She smiled, walking off with a grateful nod.

"Hey, Arden. I see you're causing all kinds of ruckus for your poor nana again." Hope bent down to ruffle the kid's blueish-purple locks.

"Hey! Nivien combed that for me," he scolded with a pout.

The silveret raised a brow at this. "She here?"

Arden smiled widely. "Yup, she came over to help us get ready and came with us here. She's been coming over bunches lately, since her brother's been gone so much."

"Ah," replied Hope as he stood up.

"Well, don't you look all handsome," spoke Zalera. She crouched down before the boy and held out her hand, having not met the kid before.

Arden giggled and blushed at the attention before thrusting his hand out to shake hers. "I'm Arden Rosch. I'm eight years old."

Lightning's eyebrows shot up at the surname and she turned toward Hope with a questioning expression. She had never heard who his family was that he had lost. Hope frowned.

"Hondura Lin Zalera, twenty-six."

"That's a long name," replied a stunned Arden.

"Not really. You can call me Zalera, though." The warrior looked up to see the silent conversation going on between her two companions before returning her attention to the young one before her. "Why don't we dance, Arden?"

"Okay!"

As the two walked off to the dance floor, Lightning turned to Hope, intending to ask the foreseeable question. He, however, was already walking off to the buffet table and had made it there before Lightning approached him. "Rosch, huh?"

Hope sighed, picking up a small plate and selecting some hors d'oeuvres. "Yup."

"His son?"

"Yup."

Brow furrowing, she contemplated this for a moment. "I didn't know he had a son..." She had thought that all Yaag Rosch had was his job and duty... not a family.

"Apparently, not many did." He paused as he took a bite out of something that appeared edible before making a sour face and quickly setting the rest down on his plate. _Nope. Most certainly not food. At least not good food._ "Rygdea said that Arden's mom was just a one night stand and that Arden's existence hadn't really changed anything for Rosch. He was still focused on his ambitions and his career. Arden's mother pretty much raised him solo. Jun was a part of his life far more than Rosch ever was."

"But Jun said that Arden's father was supposedly still alive and crystallized in Cocoon. He died."

Hope chewed for a moment before swallowing. "He was presumed dead. No one is really quite sure of that. After all, we last saw him alive before-"

Lightning shook her head. "Don't you remember hearing the explosion? You don't really think-"

"I choose to hope," spoke Hope softly. "And so does Jun. I don't have the heart to tell her of my suspicions. It was her son."

The soldier clicked her tongue just as they were approached by a very stoic faced Harleen. "And how are my guests today?" His tone was polite as ever, but you could see the viciousness within his eyes.

Before any rash actions could be made by the quick-to-anger woman at his side, Hope simply wrapped a reassuring hand calmly, yet sternly around her upper arm. He didn't feel the need to return the man's fake smile, though, and just simply replied in an equally, if not mockingly, polite response. "Very well, and you?"

He began to reply only to be cut off by his daughter joining his side. "Daddy's doing wonderfully, aren't you daddy," replied Kori, a stern expression meeting her father's gaze. "And he's going to be a very kind host to _everyone_ tonight, right?"

With a smile and a nod, the eldest Harleen suddenly pushed all of his anger and agitation away. "Of course, my dear," he agreed, pulling on the bottom of his elegant cream suit jacket as he bowed before his two guests. "In fact, I have others to greet. Excuse me."

Kori sighed as he walked off. "I don't know what he has against you. I'm sorry about him, really."

Hope waved off the apology as he took another bite.

"Anyhow, I wanted to also say, Hope, that I know you're going through a lot. I hope you know that I'm always here." She then leaned in to him, her lips grazing his ear as she whispered into it. "For anything." This caused Hope to choke on the food going down his throat as the red head walked calmly away, ignoring the daggers being shot at her by a certain young woman.

Clenching her jaw, Lightning was astounded by the gall of the girl. _I know I have good hearing, but I'm pretty sure she wanted me to hear that. What a little..._ She then turned her heated glare from Kori's retreating back to the coughing man beside her.

After a bit of a choking fit, the director managing to get the food down properly, he straightened up, a blush staining his cheeks. He scratched the back of his head nervously as he caught sight of Lightning. He laughed, catching her off guard.

"You're cute when you're jealous. And you have the most adorable pout."

Slamming her heel down on his foot and ignoring the yelp of pain, Lightning crossed her arms. "I'm not pouting, I'm _scowling_. And I am not jealous of that princess."

Hope only chuckled further. "Well, then that's the most adorable scowl I have ever seen."

* * *

Time passed with Hope engaging in many other various conversations with his people, Lightning standing beside him all the while, making certain that none of them were a threat. She would also be sure to be attentive to everyone else around her, keeping track of their friends.

Zalera was still watching over Arden, only now she was watching him with Jun as they chatted.

Lebreau and Maqui had taken up dancing with each other. Lightning could only smirk as Lebreau tried to loosen up the mechanic's stiff movements. Now, though, they were dancing fluidly together, a slight hitch only every once in a while when there was a misstep.

Sazh had left about twenty minutes before, wanting to check on his chocobo and Dajh.

Kori was now dancing with Hildough who had been rejected by a very surprised Lightning a half an hour before. She had politely declined his invitation by saying that, as Hope's guard, she couldn't leave his side. Although noticeably disappointed, the man had accepted and left her with an open invitation to dance later, should she have the chance. She had noticed Hope's rigidity during the exchange and her lips twitched upwards at the fact that she'd made him jealous this time, rather than the other way around.

Cass seemed to have disappeared from her sight at some point, but this wasn't her prime concern at the time. No, her main concern was the approaching lieutenant that had her eyes on Hope. Given the two's history and the fact that Nivien looked particularly stunning, Lightning didn't like this one bit. Her gown was very well fitted for her figure in a shade of red that complimented her ebony skin almost perfectly. The sweetheart neckline and black beads that lined the top of her bosom and curved from her cleavage down to her left hip only completed the dress's beauty.

Nivien smiled lightly at the two as she stopped before them. "Hello, Hope... Lightning."

"Nivien, it's good to see you," replied Hope, a little reluctant to engage in conversation with Lightning in such close proximity. "How have you been?"

She sighed, obviously not fairing well. But her strong front was up, as always. "Holding up. A-And you?"

"All right, I guess."

Nivien bit her lip, glancing at Lightning in her periphery. There was so much she wanted to speak with him about, _needed_ to speak with him about, but she wanted to talk to him alone. _Like old times. Before things got complicated..._ "I was wondering if we could dance." He looked ready to decline before she continued. "For old time's sake? Please?"

It would have been a no. It should have been a no. After all, he was with Lightning. Anyone knows that dancing with your ex, especially in front of your girlfriend, is trouble. Especially since Lightning already declined her own dance invitation. But he didn't feel for Nivien in that way anymore and he'd already expressed this to both women several times. And with Olly gone... Hope could see that the soldier before him was ready to fall apart at the seams. She needed a true friend that would listen, as she said, like old times. They were friends first and would continue to be even after their rough break-up. _Lightning can understand this... right?_ His gaze met hers as he silently asked permission.

Lightning was shocked, having not expected him to accept. She could only nod,not knowing how else to respond. As the two walked to the floor together, the roseate stepped back to watch from beside one of the outside pillars, a glare burning into Nivien's form.

Hope's hand rested on Nivien's hip as her's rested on his shoulder, their other hands lacing together as they began to dance to whatever song the orchestra started playing. The silveret's thoughts were solely on Lightning and her reaction to this situation until Nivien spoke.

"I heard about the attack." This drew Hope's distracted gaze to her as she smiled at him, concern evident in her expression. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, really. Shaken up, but... What about you? I know you're doing worse than you let on." Cocking his head to the side, Hope tried to see her face as she ducked her head down, her wavy side bangs hiding her eyes from his prying gaze. Nivien and Olly were extremely close and with their parents in a crystallized Cocoon, all they had were each other. "I'm actually surprised you're even speaking to me and don't hate my guts. It was my faul-"

"Don't you dare say that."

Her quiet yet sharp words startled Hope for a moment as they locked gazes. "But it's-"

"No, it's not. None of this is your fault." She looked away then, watching the other couples dancing beside them. "At first... I did blame you... a little. But I know it's not. Just like it isn't your fault that Cocoon fell. I just... really miss him." Sniffing, Nivien blinked away the coming tears and turned her attention back to her partner. "I miss this too." She paused as Hope dipped her and brought her back up. "We always danced really well together..."

Biting his lip, Hope found himself unable to meet her eyes. "We did."

It was obvious to her that Hope was hesitant to reminisce, but she couldn't help it. She had felt so strongly for him for so long and to be so close to him like this now... It was amazing how right it felt to be with him. Her arms slid around his shoulders as she drew herself against him. Seemingly reluctant arms soon found their way around her waist while she rested her head on his shoulder. "I never expected to fall in love with you. When we met, I thought little of you, I admit. I just thought of you as the director's son. Nothing more. But then I got to know the incredible person that you were... are. Intelligent, sweet, strong, determined, and completely irresistible. Truly beautiful, inside and out. And I love how we were together."

He had to resist a shudder as he felt her body pressed against his and her hot breath brushing against his neck, memories of many similar situations flooding his mind. "Nivien, I-"

"I'm sorry. I know you've moved on." Her vision locked onto Lightning's rigid figure, noticing Cass now beside her, before looking back up into Hope's conflicted emerald irises. "This really isn't fair of me."

"Nivien, let me speak," Hope requested gently. "I never expected it either. To care for you as much as I did, I mean. I don't know if it was love, but it was pretty damn close to it if it wasn't. After all that l'Cie stuff, and falling for Light... I never imagined ever feeling for anyone else romantically. You completely blindsided me." He allowed a small smile to show as he looked down at her. "You helped me in so many ways, through things no one else could. You helped me grow as a person. You were an amazing girlfriend and I couldn't have expected anything more from you then what you gave me. I just..."

A bemused smile crossed Nivien's face as she smacked his shoulder lightly. "Is this your version of 'it's not you, it's me'?"

Hope chuckled softly. "Sure."

Lightning's fists clenched as she watched them. It was infuriating. She had never felt so self-conscious in her life. _Well, not since boot camp._ Hope and Nivien just seemed to fit together so perfectly, like puzzle pieces perfectly tailored to fit each other. They danced so smoothly together, practically gliding across the floor in their movements.

"Careful, Lightning, your jealousy is showing." Cass could only laugh as she seemed to bare her teeth at him. "Retract the claws, kitten. Nivien is a good person. She respects relationships. And Hope would never do anything to jeopardize his future with you. You can calm down."

Releasing a deep sigh, the eldest Farron visibly relaxed, only to tense up a second later. "You better get that hand off my backside before I put you in your place."

"In your bed?"

"In your grave," growled Lightning.

"All right, all right." The brunet drew his hands up in a surrender. "I don't feel like getting mauled today."

"Speaking of..." It had still been bothering her since she'd visited. The state of his apartment and his appearance. There was something very wrong about it. "Yesterday, I don't buy that party bull shit. So... was it your father?"

"You give my father's rage far too much credit," responded Cass with a laugh. "Doesn't matter what you buy, it was just a damn good party. Unlike this one."

Lightning's brow furrowed as she crossed her arms and jutted out a hip. "A party that involves taking an ax to the walls?"

Shrugging, the man could only chuckle, an unidentifiable gleam in his eyes. "Some people have got some _weird_ kinks."

"Right" replied Lightning skeptically. Both of them watched the floor as many danced, a silence falling briefly over them as they listened to the music and chatter around them. Kori and Hildough broke apart as he bowed and she curtsied, drawing a tsk of amusement from Lightning. _What era are we in?_

Cass snorted. "I take it you're not too fond of my sister?"

"I'm surprised you two are so close. With what happened with your dad and all." She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye before continuing to watch Hope.

This caused him to shift uncomfortably, not expecting the topic in the least. "I quit holding my misfortune against Kori a long time ago. It's not her fault she was born first. That she was the child of his wife and I his mistress. It's not her fault that she was born from love and I from lust."

The teen's sincerity and seriousness caught her off guard, but was very refreshing. She hummed a confirmation that she was listening and encouraged him to continue. "So the only ill will you hold is toward your father."

"In this instance, yes. The difference between my mother and my father is, to my father, I was his shame, his embarrassment. To my mother, I was her pride, her triumph, her gift..." Before he could reveal anything more, Cass ducked out and left her side, escaping into the crowd.

After the third song that they had danced to came to an end, Hope began to pull away, causing Nivien to protest. "Just one more song, Hope?"

"I'm sorry, Nivien, but no. This was nice and I'm glad we could talk. I hope we still can in the future."

She nodded slowly in return as he walked away.

Hope and Lightning's gazes met before she turned to leave out of one of the side doors that led out to the gardens. The young director sighed before following her out. He found her in front of a few azalea bushes, her shoulders stiff, expression reserved. It appeared as though she was waiting for him to speak, so speak he did. "I would have preferred to dance with you. You know that, right?"

A snort was given before she turned away from him. "I don't know, you two looked pretty cozy to me."

Walking over to the rigid sergeant, Hope turned her around by her forearms. _How can I make this clear to you?_ "And here I thought I was still the same open book. I care about Nivien. Of course I do, but not even close to as much as I care about you." Pulling away from him, her gaze flickered across the bushes and flowers surrounding them. "Friends dance too, Light."

"Not like that," she snarked with a scoff.

"Don't you trust me?"

The exasperation in his tone gave her pause, if only for a moment. "I damn sure don't trust her."

Swiftly, Hope cupped her cheek and gave her a brief, yet lingering kiss. He would have liked for it to be longer or deeper, but he wanted to respect her wishes and not be seen. "Believe me when I say that Nivien and I are over. Yes, we have history, but that's just it – history. My future, for as long as you'll allow, lies with you."

* * *

The ride home was quiet. Zalera had stayed behind for reasons she hadn't felt like sharing, leaving the two alone. Lightning seemed significantly more calm and reassured. This eased Hope's nerves, but she still hadn't said anything since their conversation in the garden. Anxiety built within him again as he glanced at her for what had to be the billionth time.

The tension in the car was so thick that even Dornum could sense it. So, he thought he could ease it a bit as he pulled into the young Estheim's driveway. "If you could spare a minute, Miss Lightning, I would like to speak with you for a moment.

Lightning's brow furrowed as she turned her confused gaze to Hope, who only scratched the back of his head and shrugged. He got out of the car and spoke before shutting the door. "I'll stay in sight, next to the door guards. I'll be fine."

Dornum turned around in his seat to look at her when Hope was out of earshot. "May I inquire as to what this disagreement is about?"

The soldier shook her head at the man. Were they really that obvious? Hope had eased some of her worries, but she was beginning to think that her insecurities with Nivien would never fade. It was too complicated and they only just started dating. "There's no disagreement."

A knowing smile and a chuckle was given as the old man looked at her. "I imagine you're not one with many relationships under your belt, correct? You keep to yourself and work mostly, am I right?"

Lightning's head bowed as she couldn't help but find the topic embarrassing and odd to be having with Hope's driver, who appeared to be sweet, but very nosy.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, I ended up marrying my first girlfriend. We met and started dating when I was twenty three. We had thirty-one years of a blissful marriage, until the fall, of course."

Guilt settled into her stomach at his brief summary. There were so many people that had been left behind in the fall. "I'm sorry."

He held up a hand. "No need. All I'm saying is that you shouldn't let your inexperience get in the way of what's blooming between you and Master Estheim. He's a fine young man and he'll do right by you, I can assure you of that. If this is about Miss Nivien, well... all I can say is that just from between watching him in my backseat with her and with you... I never saw him look at her the way he looks at you." Amusement crinkled the corners of his eyes as he chuckled. "And the way he used to talk about you when he was younger..." He shook his head before turning around and starting the car back up, signaling the end of the conversation. "He cares deeply for you, Miss Lightning, and with all that I've had to see him suffer through, it would be nice if he had something good in his life. And you would be something far more than good for him."

Throat tight, Lightning nodded and smiled at the man. "Thank you."

* * *

Hope and Lightning entered the house together, once again shrouded in silence. He had really hoped that this night would have turned out differently, but he pushed away those thoughts and went to say goodnight, only to be completely shocked when a pair of lips crashed into his, roughly kissing him with fervor.

"You're mine, Estheim. Don't forget that, I don't want to see you in another woman's arms again."

Beaming at the surprising show of affection, Hope kissed her back with equal passion. "Do I detect a bit of jealousy? But I thought _thee_ Lightning Farron doesn't get jealous."

Smirking, Lightning undid his tie and pulled it off, kissing his neck lightly. "Shut it."

The younger grinned and captured her lips as he brought her closer, only to release her quickly when an idea struck him. Putting on his puppy dog eyes, Hope looked down at the beauty before him. "You know, I was really looking forward to dancing with you?"

"Were you," Lightning laughed, "Hoping to show me your moves? From what I saw, you weren't too shabby. Your footwork could have been better, but all in all okay."

His eyes widened. "I didn't know I was being critiqued. Well, damn." He laughed for a moment, running a hand down her side. "So I suppose you know how to dance then?"

"I used to be in dance. From when I was eight until I was fourteen." _Not that I'm proud of it._

"That's cool, Light. No wonder you're so graceful." Hope smiled sheepishly at her quirked brow.

She could see in his eyes how much he wanted to spend time with her, to dance with her. _And I couldn't do it at the soiree because I'm a coward. Do you really want to be with such a coward, Hope?_ "Well, are we gonna dance or what?"

Practically bouncing, Hope seized her hand and brought her upstairs and into the library area which was actually the most spacious room in the house. The curtains to the giant window were open, letting the moonlight shine in. Grabbing up the remote, Hope turned on the stereo in the corner, quickly choosing a song before joining Lightning in the middle of the room.

"Hmm, it's almost like you planned this."

"Maybe," said Hope with a bright smile.

His giddiness caused her to laugh and relax just as the song started.

_**There's one way out and no way in** _

_**Back to the beginning** _

_**There's one way back to home again** _

_**To where I feel forgiven** _

They stared directly into each others eyes as they danced, both completely in sync with the others movements. It was as if they were completely connected, body and soul. Their hearts beat as one while they gracefully danced together in the moonlight.

_**What is this I feel? Why is it so real?** _

_**What am I to say?** _

Hope felt all of his troubles and worries melt away in that moment with Lightning. For that period in time, it was just him and her, alone. Her breathtaking smile that was still present on her features was for him. And that excited him to no end.

_**It's only love, it's only pain** _

_**It's only fear that runs through my veins** _

_**It's all the things you can't explain** _

_**That make us human** _

While twirling around his finger, Lightning felt her mind flitting out of her control. One moment it would focus on the beautiful lyrics filling the room, the notes surrounding her. The next she was focusing on the hot and electrifying touches of Hope's hands as one rested securely in her's as the other was at the small of her back. The next she focused on Hope's gentle and loving expression that melted her from the inside out. It all was a tad much and was bound to make her dizzy soon.

_**I am just an image of** _

_**Something so much greater** _

_**I am just a picture frame** _

_**I am not the painter** _

Castea did not exist. The l'Cie war did not exist. The 'new world' threat did not exist. The world itself did not exist. All that existed was them as they danced together, entranced in each others naturally intoxicating aura.

_**Where do I begin? Can I shed this skin?** _

_**What is this I feel within?** _

It was times like this where Hope and Lightning realized that they felt completely bound to one another. Hope's love for the roseate was never-ending, this he knew. As for Lightning, she found herself feeling so much more than she thought she was ever capable of. It completely astounded her that she could feel so much for someone that wasn't her own blood. Before the fall, Lightning would have denied the possibility of such a thing ever happening. Yet it did.

_**It's only love, it's only pain** _

_**It's only fear that runs through my veins** _

_**It's all the things you can't explain** _

_**That make us human, that make us human** _

_**That make us human** _

Though they had gone on a perilous journey, faced countless monsters and blood-thirsty villains, and held tremendous power that they had once thought to only be myth, they were just two people tied together. Two people with insurmountable strength of will and heart. Two humans that overcame everything in their path by finding strength in each other.

_**It's only love, it's only pain** _

_**It's only fear that runs through my veins** _

_**It's all the things you can't explain** _

_**That make us human, that make us human** _

_**That make us human, oh, that make us human** _

The song ended and they danced to a stop. They didn't break apart, however, they just stayed still, clinging to the others body and staring deeply into the others eyes.

"You're so beautiful." Hope couldn't stop the words from escaping his mouth. He meant them, for she truly was beautiful, in every definition of the word.

The soldier snorted as she released her hold on the man, a skeptical brow raising. "Really, Estheim, what do you take me for? Has it really been that easy for you to get into a girl's pants, Hope?"

Shock and embarrassment registered on the youth's face for a moment. _That was so not what I was getting at._ "I wasn't trying to- I was just complimenting you, Light," stuttered the teen. "What do I strike you as? Some sort of ladies' man?"

Lightning snickered and began ticking off all of Hope's possible conquests. "Um, Nivien... obviously. Kori... possibly. Alyssa... most likely-"

"I am not a man whore," he snapped defensively. Obviously offended, the young man huffed, his cheeks puffing out indignantly. "I don't sleep with women just because they may be enamored with me. Do you really think I would take advantage of someone like that?" An exasperated sigh fell through the air before he, apprehensively, continued. "For your information, I haven't slept with any of them, thank you."

She couldn't keep the pure stun from her face. "Not even Nivien?"

"No..."

" _Hope? Look at me. I want to be with you, Hope," spoke Nivien softly, her hand gently caressing his jaw as they sat close to one another, heavy breath mixing together._

_Hope's uneasiness and reluctance was easy to notice. "I... I gotta go."_

"...not even Nivien."

"You act like you regret that."

A smile, sad but reassuring, came to his expression as his hand found her cheek once more. "It's not regret, just... guilt. For stringing Nivien along and for... trying to move on.. from my feelings for you."

She could see just how much this guilt weighed down on him. It appeared that he would never forgive himself, even though Lightning didn't care about his past with Nivien. Not anymore. Hope was with her now. That was all that mattered. That's what led her to clutching his collar tightly and pulling him into a deep kiss. Their lips, warm and loving, met as did their tongues, dancing together and struggling for dominance.

The director could not form words to describe the kiss. It was something that he could only compare to his wildest dreams of the eldest Farron. Something he would spend the whole night thinking about before finally drifting off to sleep.

* * *

In the morning while Hope was in a meeting with Zalera at his side, Lightning went to visit Serah. She hadn't done so in a while and she figured that it was about time to check up on her little sister. Encased in crystal or not, it was her duty to protect Serah.

The soldier entered the room and turned around to shut the door completely, making certain that it was sealed. Before she even turned back around, Lightning could already tell that something was amiss. Whipping out her gunblade, Lightning spun to face the new occupant of the room, her gaze immediately hardening as she recognized who the intruder was from others' descriptions.

"Hello, dear," cooed Castea. The woman was standing at Serah's side, an unwelcome hand resting on her crystal.

Not one to miss opportunities, especially ones as irresistible as this, Lightning immediately fired a barrage of rounds at the l'Cie scum before her.

Unconcerned, Castea did nothing. She didn't have to. Her protection spell kept her secure as every harmful projectile seemed to disintegrate at the invisible shell around her. "Oh, honey, you think your bullets can harm me?"

Immediately, Lightning flicked her blade out, but before she could move forward, she was stopped. She was frozen in place, completely unable to move.

"Aren't you just darling?" A chuckle fell from cold and unkind lips. "It's nice to finally meet the guardian and her pretty sister." The woman petted the crystal, taunting the subdued soldier.

_Get the hell away from her, you bitch. I can't wait to tear you apart limb from limb. I just have to move, dammit!_ The sergeant attempted to speak, but she was even incapable of that. Sweat began to drip down her brow as she put all her strength into trying to move. A dizziness swept over her mind, and she soon found it hard to focus on her target.

With a wolfish grin, the woman began to move closer, each step infuriating Lightning further. "You're fighting it. Good, you act like the protector you claim to be."

Blood began to drip from her nose as she strove to move, to speak, to do something. She had to _do_ something. The woman that had harmed Hope so severely and oh so simply snatched him away was right before her, now, not so subtly threatening her and her sister. There was no way that she could stand to take that.

Castea began to circle the mentally struggling girl, a sneer on her features. "Hope's been ignoring my prodding, but I think this might be the one thing that throws him in my direction."

_I won't let you use me to get to Hope. I won't!_

"I heard you've been asking about our time together," hissed Castea into her ear, mocking Lightning with her proximity. "Are you sure you want to know? Because I can grant that wish."

Only a moment was given before she felt bony and pale fingers on her forehead. Images upon images of torture cascaded into her helpless mind before darkness consumed her, taking her away from the truth and reality of Hope's time in the ark.


	18. Static

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are you happy now? You know. You got to see exactly what happened to the man you claim to care for so much, but can't protect. You can't even protect yourself.

Blackness filled her vision when it was all over - after every infuriating, agony-filled, and deeply detailed moment of torture had ended within her mind. Lightning was hunched over while kneeling on the ground, her head in her hands, nails digging into her scalp. Blood dripped down from her nose, a paralyzing pain ripping through her skull. Blaring alarms could be heard in her ears, screaming out to be noticed. Her vision slowly returned, but remained incredibly blurry. Even without it, she knew that she was still in the stasis room, still not alone, but now surrounded by guards of the Academy and GC soldiers. Her breathing came in shallow pants as she attempted to focus on the world and not the hellish nightmare she had returned from.

"Sergeant? Sergeant, are you okay?" she heard someone ask from her right. It was a guard whose voice she did not recognize.

"Someone get a medic in here," hollered another unidentifiable voice from her left. There were so many people around her. All talking. All people she didn't know as far as she could tell. She felt so disoriented and her prolonged momentary blindness was pissing her off immensely. That along with all of the people surrounding her caused her to feel smothered and unable to breathe.

"What happened?"

"As far as I can tell, the threat just disappeared."

"Ma'am, I'm going to help you, okay?"

"Sergeant, what happened? Who did this to you?"

"Please, she's in no condition to speak with anyone right n-"

"We need to know what happened here. The director could be in danger."

"Are we sure they're not still in the building?"

"Just get out of my way so I can help her. You can _interrogate_ her all you want after-"

They wouldn't stop. None of it would stop. All of the talking, all of the noise needed to end before she took her rage out on everyone within ten feet of her. "Shut up," Lightning managed in a pained whisper.

"What happened to her?"

"Why hasn't she moved?"

"Shut up. Shut up," she continued, her pleas growing in volume yet still going unnoticed.

"Vale! Dreifus! I need this building cleared. Everyone needs to be evacuated and all rooms are to be searched. They can't have gotten far."

"Sergeant Farron, can you-"

"Shut up," Lightning shouted, effectively cutting off all voices surrounding her. She could hardly think straight. The room spun abruptly before her as she felt her feet give out from under her.

"Light!" Hope had finally managed his way through his guards. It had taken him a lot since they wanted to keep their director away from the danger and safe from harm. But with some of Hope's orders and pleas to let him through he got to the scene. A few of Zalera's threats and punches had helped as well.

The soldier felt herself land in someone's arms. Her vision cleared just as Hope's face came into view. He was hovering above her, his expression wrought with concern.

"Light, are you okay?" Grimly noticing how out of it the woman in his arms looked, he turned to the guards and soldiers around him, looking for answers. "What happened?"

Officer Mires, a petite officer that worked in the surveillance room, stepped before him, her meek voice laced with uncertainty. "It-It all h-happened so fast. I was watching the security footage and all was fine... u-until I looked in 402 and saw Sergeant Farron fighting with some woman. I thought they were just talking, but then I noticed she wasn't moving and that the woman was doing something to her. S-So I set off the alarm..."

His heart stopped for a moment. The identity of the woman was obvious _._

"What did she look like," growled Zalera. "Blonde? Short hair? Obnoxious white robe?"

Mires' eyes widened. "Yes, e-exactly."

Hope's emerald irises flickered with warring emotions before he settled into his commanding position. "I want this whole building cleared out. If she's anywhere within the area, I want her found. But no one make a move. You see her, call it in straight to me. She's far too dangerous to take on." He knew Castea was most likely gone. After all, she'd completed her mission; Hope was filled with fear, angered beyond belief, and wracked with guilt.

Zalera's jaw clenched at the information and her fists tightened. Her eyes flitted over Lightning, securing that the soldier was indeed fine. The Pulsian had a good hunch at what had happened. Lightning knew. Castea had threatened her in one of the worst ways she could have by using her previous loss of Hope and his torture against her. The wolfish fiend had done it to her with memories of Yeul, of course she would do it to Lightning. With a snarl, she left the room, ready to make someone pay.

Attention snapping back to Lightning, Hope ripped his glove off of his right hand with his teeth, feeling her clammy forehead. "C'mon, be okay." With his bandana, the silveret wiped the seeping blood from beneath her nose and the corner of her left eye. _Maker, what did she do to you?_

Blue eyes soon met Hope's green before Lightning regained her bearings. While hissing at the pain, the soldier sat up, removing herself from Hope's hold.

"A-are you all right, Light? What happened? What did she do-say? Is everything..." His words failed as he took in her state. It was all his fault. All of it was his fault. And everything that continued to hurt her and the rest of Academia would be on him too. "I'm so so-"

She cut his apology off with a shaky finger on his lips. "No... apologies."

The young director cringed at her breathlessness and the slight sway of her form as she attempted to stand. "I-"

With a growl, Lightning shoved his hands away from her when he tried to help her stay steady. _I'm not an invalid. I can stand just fine._ "I swear, Hope... if you apol... apologize to me, I'm gonna hit you."

Silver brows furrowed as he stifled his reflex to assist. "She won't get away with this," he declared, determination igniting a fire within his eyes.

"No, she won't. That's for sure." A glance around her told her they were alone. All of the useless soldiers and their loud mouths were gone.

"I ordered everyone out. You want to tell me what happened?"

Her face remained veiled by her bangs as she stared at the floor, flashes of everything she saw flying through her mind. "That woman," Lightning ground out between gritted teeth, "threatened you and Serah. I couldn't get a hit on her. Not one." The roseate sneered at her gunblade on the floor by her boot. She cursed as she kicked it across the room, the weapon slamming against the wall across from her. "I couldn't stop her. Not even when she... she..."

Biting his lip, Hope approached her, only to be stopped by her hand raised to halt him. "Did what?"

"She... I don't know, shut down my mind, I guess. Everything just went black. I couldn't move and my mind went completely blank." She looked up to see the teen standing confused. "She didn't really do anything to me except piss me the fuck off. She just wanted to use me against you." A grimace was given before she turned to him. "But it won't work. It won't ever work. I don't care what she throws at me, she's not going to have you as her little puppet."

"But I-"

"Go back to work, Hope. I'm fine. She's probably long gone, but if not, we'll hear about it." She forced a small smile on her face as she passed him. "I need to clear my head. Just," she turned back to him, unrestrained grief in her eyes as she continued, "stay with your guards and stay safe. I'll meet up with you in a bit."

His confusion only grew as he stood there, letting Lightning walk away without a suitable, comprehensible recollection of the previous events. He could only sigh for he knew she was holding something back. The urge to follow her was strong, but he heeded her words. There was a small concern within him that she shouldn't be left alone considering she could very well be attacked again. _No, if Castea wanted to do something else, she would have. But I can't keep letting Castea get away with this. Something needs to be done..._

Lightning swiped her card through the reader and mindlessly entered her apartment. The room greeted her with cold, stale air as she soon stood stalk still in the middle of it.

_A body writhed on the stone table, the area surrounding it covered in dry and fresh blood. "... please... stop..." Hope was laying there, his wrists tightly bound to where the cuffs nearly fused with his skin. His sweat-slicked body was covered in grime and blood. He was almost unrecognizable.  
_

_His wary and terrified gaze was magnetized to the knife held within Sebastian's hand. Hope knew what was coming and he couldn't take it much longer._

_Sebastian laughed coldly, his onyx eyes alight with wonder and excitement. With a flick of his large hand, the man produced a fira spell that remained sitting in his palm. He lowered his hand slowly until it came to rest square in the middle of Hope's chest, a spot that had clearly been burned into many times before and had been left uncured._

_The young man's cries of agony echoed throughout the dimly lit room. His jaw clenched as he waited for the next blow, his eyes remaining closed while tears leaked freely._

_A scream tore from his throat as he felt it. Sebastian's coveted and newly sharpened blade tore into his chest, slicing off multiple layers of singed skin before reaching bone._

Lightning's stomach heaved again as she emptied it into the toilet before her. How and when she got there was beyond her, but there she was.

It was real now. It was all completely, undeniably real. Hope had been tortured. She now knew, at length, what had happened to him.

_Are you happy now? You know. You got to see exactly what happened to the man you claim to care for so much, but can't protect. You can't even protect yourself._

When the nausea passed, she fell back against the wall of her bathroom, her limbs shaky and her sanity in shambles. As the images continued to taunt her mind, her fists tightened, every muscle in her body tensing with rage. Swiftly, Lightning turned, her fist harshly connecting with the wall behind her. Her punch left a large dent within the wall. Her knuckles would no doubt be bruised beneath her gloves, but she didn't care. Her own pain was irrelevant. It always was.

* * *

"This can't continue."

Amodar, Rygdea and Hope all sat within one of the meeting rooms. The building had been cleared, as expected, twenty minutes before. The three had then chosen to have a more private meeting than previously, one with less hostile and explosive persons.

"Of course it can't, General. The question is how to stop this," replied Rygdea, his voice solemn. "The woman had a death grip on Lightning's whole body. _She_ of all people was struck completely still. I watched the footage. With just a touch, 'Ruthless Farron' was paralyzed."

Abruptly, Hope stood. His jaw clenched as he began to pace across the floor in front of the table. "Castea can get to anyone. We should all know this by now."

Amodar cocked a brow as he perched his chin upon his steepled hands, his elbows resting on the table top. "That doesn't mean we should just allow for her activities to continue. Escalation shall only occur."

Stopping, Hope swallowed thickly, mind wandering to all of the l'Cies' past incidents. Of course the attacks would only escalate. More people would get hurt, even killed. More lives would be destroyed. More helpless children would lose their families. More destinies changed forever, if not decimated. "And the past repeats itself," he murmured. His head bowed as green eyes stared hard at the floor. There were no good answers. No good solutions. "The only strategy we have is to stall."

"And what good'll that do?" Rygdea leaned back in his chair, looking skeptically at the younger to the right of him.

Amodar sighed heavily, already on track with Hope's thoughts. "There really isn't another way. We have to endure everything these mongrels throw at us until we find out more about them."

_Find their weakness and take them out. Everyone has a weakness, right?_ The director nodded as he turned to face them fully. "I have Maqui and Cass leading a research team. They are currently combing through all books, scrolls, files, anything that may help us understand and fight them."

"If there isn't a way, what then?" inquired Rygdea. He knew the two were right, though the man was itching to get his men back. Revenge on that wretched woman sounded pretty damn sweet to him too. But if Hope, the one who had lost the most and had been hurt in the cruelest of ways, could hold off, so could he.

Hope's eyes screwed shut as a shudder ran through him. "Then I shall comply, and find their weakness from the source." _I'd have no other choice._

"Very well." Amodar stood and held up a hand in front of Rygdea's horrified face, halting any protests about the teen's declaration. "But you and Sergeant Farron are to take the next few days off," stated the general firmly. He had expected the young Estheim's head to shoot up, shock and anger on his features, and a vehement 'no' to come from him. Especially when it wasn't Amodar's place to order him around; it was considered a small challenge to his authority. The man was surprised when nothing came from Hope but a small shrug.

"It's expected, really," he admitted. "Lightning and I are the ones in the most danger. Plus, she's most certainly not in the right frame of mind right now. Light's fury can make her quite focused and vicious in battle, but it can also blind her from rational decisions. And I... I'm no better. But-"

A shake of the head was given as the general clapped a hand on his shoulder. "No, you two will remain in the Estheim estate. I already have guards posted and surrounding your home. After Farron is done currently giving her statement, she will be taken directly there. As will you when we're through." Hope scowled, which was probably not his best move because this looked more like a puppy pout. Amodar laughed heartily. "And I don't care who you are. I will physically enforce this order on you, if I have to."

Frustration burned within him before it was extinguished by despair, a dull look forming in his eyes. "It won't matter," he began as he walked toward the door., "Castea will go after anyone to get to me. Lightning is extremely effective, but she's definitely not the only one I care about. The woman has a whole human arsenal against me - all of NORA, Nivien and Olly, Cass and his family, you, Rygdea, Sazh, Jun and Arden. I only pray we find something before she strikes again." With that, Hope left the room, leaving both to sit in silence, soaking up his last words.

"Kid's not wrong, but damn, when did he get so depressing?" Rygdea hated what this was doing to that bright eyed boy he'd nurtured, protected and taught for so many years. This new war was taking a large toll on the young man.

"He's lost too much. Any normal person would have given up by now. Same with Farron."

"But they most certainly ain't normal."

Amodar smirked. "No they are not."

* * *

Hope was sipping tea as he sat in a chair in the family room. His eyes wandered around it, flitting from place to place. Of all of the rooms, Hope hated this one the most in his home. There wasn't a family for the room to hold. Its name was invalid.

He heard the door slam and assumed it was Lightning. The assumption was correct since his eyes soon fell upon her form entering the room, soon plopping on the couch across from him.

"Forced vacation for you too, huh?" Lightning's blue irises roved over Hope, seeing a surprising calmness about him. The soldier envied him greatly for that. She was a jumbled mess of emotions. Not that she would let that show.

Biting his lip, Hope set his cup down on the wooden coffee table before him. "Talk to me, Light."

The usual crease situated itself between her brows as she stared at him. His expression and body language were guarded, emotionless, as if he were holding everything in to appear neutral. With close inspection, however, she could see what he wanted. Answers. Real ones. "What?"

"You may have lost the fear in your eyes, but I know that you were scared. You were thoroughly shaken. To put you in such a state, Castea had to have done something to you. Something severe..." Emerald eyes squinted slightly at her, the gears in his head working.

As much as she loathed to admit it, she had been scared. Rather than deny that fact, she would need to speak of it, before that wondrous mind could conjure up the correct answer. "Tch, your stubbornness is annoying. Anyone tell you that?"

"A few people may have mentioned that," he responded with an amused chuckle. "That doesn't distract from the point, though."

"Of course not." Lightning didn't meet his eyes, instead her gaze rested on her wringing hands as she sat back, obvious contempt at her coming admission written all over her. "I was... afraid, yes," she started, emotion stricken from her voice. "I've always been afraid when faced with the enemy." Her eyes shut as she paused, recalling past fights, battles and endeavors. "Before, I always thought of Serah. My fear stemmed from not wanting to leave her alone. That I would die or become too injured to provide for her and protect her. I even feared Snow. He was someone I couldn't keep Serah from. I was afraid he would get her hurt or hurt her himself."

The roseate opened her eyes and her gaze met Hope's. "As I began to care for you, I feared not being there for you, as well. I fear for the sake of others, not for myself, really." She finished with a shake of her head as it fell back against the padded furniture.

Hope felt a small stab at her words. _You should be afraid to miss out on life._ "You should fear your own death, Lightning. For your sake, as well as ours. You should want to live because you want to see us. Because you want to be with us. To live with us." He couldn't control the hurt that crossed his face, nor the words that tumbled out in a whisper. "To be with me."

Lightning's brow rose as stun surfaced upon her. She hadn't thought about that. "I didn't mean it like that, H-" He fell into a practiced apathy, one the young woman had previously thought him incapable of.

"Yes, you did, but that's fine. I shouldn't have expected anything else."

Lightning watched him leave the room, scrambling to find words, but unable to. She sat until there was nothing but silence, his presence but a ghost in the room. _Did I really make it seem that I didn't care enough? I only spoke the truth._

But was that the problem?

* * *

_The musty air hit her face. Her nose scrunched up in response as the heady stench of blood flowed through it. Holding her arm over her nose in an attempt to block the odor, Lightning walked forward. The hall was dark and made completely of stone. The only light within view was a flickering flame at the end of the hallway._

_Using the torch as her goal, she ventured on. The smell and feeling of dread within her only grew with each step, but she could not stop. What she wanted was here somewhere..._

_She reached the torch and inwardly cursed at the fact that it was built into the wall. She would have to continue into darkness._

But which way? _All paths were drenched in black. Nothing could be seen. There was the path she had come from, one to her right, and a stairway to her left. Before she could make a decision, a loud and terrified scream tore through the air._

_"Serah!" Without a moment's hesitation, Lightning ran down the stairs toward the screams and whimpers of her sister. The journey down felt like an eternity. Her fear and worry grew until they consumed her, her heart soon pounding at an alarming rate._

_When the soldier finally reached the bottom, tripping over herself momentarily to come to the conclusion, she called out her sister's name. The surrounding area was still drenched in darkness. As she came to realize that the cries of pain and screams for help had ceased, Lightning took a shaky step forward. "Serah," she whispered. She walked until she bumped into something. Something very solid and made of stone._

_A coarse laugh echoed around her as a flame ignited from in front of her. The small flame was perched atop Sebastian's finger, held up in the air. He stood facing away from Lightning, toward a girl strapped onto a stone slab like the many in the room, a clone of one she had walked into._

_Pure horror and fear tore into her as she watched the bulky man draw a knife, soon bringing it in front of him, out of her sight. A whimper fell from the girl before him. A recognizable whimper._

_"Serah!" she screamed. But as she ran forward and soon came to stand before the stone table, she saw not her sister, but a writhing seeress._

_The torches all lit around them, lighting all of the room and bathing it in an orange glow._

_"You know what to do. What to say to make this all go away, little Yeul." Sebastian's words slithered from his lips as he began to lightly scrape the blade against her skin._

_The blue-haired girl shook her head, intent on keeping her secrets and promises. Her extremely disheveled appearance and marred body told of her torture. Scraps of clothing clung to her form as blood covered almost every inch of her. Yet she remained loyal, faithful to Etro. For this, Lightning would never understand the girl._

_Sebastian only laughed more at her strong front. "There are other ways to get it out of you besides your own pain. As I'm sure you know by now."_

_Lightning watched the girl's eyes widen before a scuffle on the staircase drew her attention._

_"Get your filthy hands off of me. Unhand me, you beast!" A heavy thump was heard before Zalera was dragged into the room, her eyelids open lazily as blood dripped from a presumably new wound on her head._

_Lightning had to stop this. She could not just stand there unmoving and unnoticed forever._

_But apparently she could, for when she attempted to move, she could not. When she tried to speak, no words would come. She was useless._

_"Please, please don't," Yeul begged as Zalera was lifted onto the table and strapped in._

_A grin formed on the l'Cie as he dropped his flame in favor of a thunder spell dancing on his fingertips._

_Knowing what was to come and not able to allow herself to witness, Lightning's eyelids slammed shut. A flash of light could be seen in front of her closed eyes, but the scream that followed was not from whom she was expecting. It had not come from Zalera or Yeul. In fact, it had not come from a female at all. And as the young woman opened her eyes, she felt every fiber in her being screaming for movement, though it would not happen._

_Hope cried out as another shock flowed through his body. Lightning's eyes narrowed and a snarl broke from her as she noticed the small incisions along his bare torso and clothed thighs. His neck was bruised and burned, the skin a disgusting mixture of purple and red._

_Eye's brimming with tears, she watched him be tortured. It wouldn't stop. No matter how much she begged and pleaded with her body to move, with her mouth to speak, with the gods to stop these cruel monsters, nothing happened._

_As time drew on, Hope's spirit grew tired. His cries were far less frequent, his torture even seeming to be less effective. The young man's body laid broken before her, his mind no doubt alike. His will hung on, but it would shatter soon._

_With a blink of her eyes, Sebastian was gone and Castea was in his place, looming over Hope's body, cackling in his face. "This is what happens when you leave him. When you let him fall right into my hand." The blonde sneered at Lightning, the only one to acknowledge her thus far. "I've never left him. Not once. I've always stayed by his side since I had him in my grasp. At least I'm loyal."_

_Still unable to stop it, the sergeant watched as Castea's hand dove straight into Hope's chest, gripping tightly onto his heart. With a wide grin aimed directly toward her, the l'Cie went to yank it out of him. Just before, Lightning heard Hope scream out her name._

_"Light!"_

* * *

She awoke with sweat dripping down her body, bangs matted against her forehead, heart pounding away, and her whole frame shaking. Silence encompassed her and her room, her mind not yet leaving that horrifying place she departed from. As the events were recalled and the truth of everything settled inside her, Lightning choked on a sob, her face quickly being held in her trembling hands.

The girl understood now the reasoning for Hope's secrecy. He had attempted to spare her this horror, this God's honest truth. He had also wanted to hide his shame. Hope wanted to keep the moments of him at his weakest from her. She understood. But all of the understanding in the world could not change the pain that would forever resonate within her. The damage was done.

Suddenly feeling the need, the soldier dashed from the room. She wanted to see Hope. She wanted to be with him, even if he was unconscious. In a flurry, Lightning flew down the corridor and down the stairs. Her ears were trained for any sounds going on within the house and she was relieved to hear nothing but a tranquil silence. Ice blue eyes lit on the backs of heads outside each window she passed once she had reached the bottom floor. The guards still stood in their positions, plenty there to protect the house and to alert them of danger before it was too close.

She stopped only for a moment just outside of his door. Before she could fully process and comprehend what she was doing, what she was feeling, and second guess herself, she opened his door and walked in.

The room was lightly lit by the moon's brightness slipping through the curtains, assisting her sight. A glance at the bed told her of Hope's quiet slumber, leading her to gently close the door behind her so as to not make a sound.

Letting out a sigh through her nose, Lightning padded her way towards him, laying down beside his still form. Hope was laying on his stomach, his arms holding his pillow close to his face that was turned towards her. His expression was peaceful and she took great comfort in the fact that at least Hope was having a good night's sleep when she couldn't. He was in his usual sleep attire as she knew it to be now, sweats, leaving his broad back bare before her. She allowed herself to admire the body of the man that the small silveret had grown into before quickly dropping her gaze.

With only a second's hesitation, she found herself carefully cuddling into his side, her head resting on his exposed back. Her hearing quickly caught the steady beating of his heart, her breath catching at the sheer joy it brought her. _He's still here. He's all right now. And he's going to stay that way. You won't let him slip away again. Not ever._

Lightning gnawed on her feelings for a while as she laid there, listening to the young man's calming heartbeat. It was then that she realized that she had to let it go. She had to let it all go.

Hope's torture was over. Hope was attempting to move past it. He was doing his damnedest to leave his captivity in the past in favor of striving to create a better future. His torture didn't define him, it only made him stronger and more determined to save the world.

The only way he could do that, however, was if she allowed him to. Lightning couldn't keep asking him about it or apologizing for her part in it. She would only be forcing him to remember. She would be no better than Castea.

As her breathing began to slow, Lightning knew what she had to do. The ark was a thing of the past and she would treat it as such. Now she would focus on protecting Hope and taking Castea and her faction down. She would also have to start figuring out this girlfriend thing, because she really was failing at it. And Lightning Farron didn't fail.

A nagging in the back of her mind told the young woman that she should leave and head back to her room. But she shut those thoughts down almost as soon as they'd formed. In the end, she just couldn't tear herself away from Hope's warm body and the soothing thrum of his heart.

* * *

Morning came soon to Hope's despair. It wasn't often that he was blessed with dreamless sleep and he could only hope for more like it. As he began to shift, his body fully awakening and mind becoming more and more aware, he realized something was off. There was someone on him.

His eyes burst open to find a shock of pink hair in his face as he looked down. Lightning laid partially on top of him, their limbs tangled together. It should have felt awkward and embarrassing to find your old mentor and yourself in such a position. And it would have, had this not been one of his greatest desires; to lay in bed beside Lightning.

Enjoying the opportunity while he could, the teen let his gaze drift along the woman strewn across him. Back in their l'Cie days, Hope had always loved the way Lightning looked when she slept. Apparently that hadn't changed. The lack of awareness left such a vulnerability upon her features, untroubled by her prideful thoughts and soldier composure.

His hand that had been cupping her shoulder, slid across her skin, lightly caressing it. Long, slender fingers glided across her back and shoulder blades, her arms and hands, her face and lips. It was amazing that such a usually callous person had such soft skin.

The question of why Lightning was sleeping beside him entered his mind as he laid there. It was very out of character for the soldier. Add in the fact that last he knew their last conversation had ended in a fight, and he was stumped.

This line of thinking served to remind him of that disagreement which caused him to sit up, carefully disentangling himself from the goddess beside him. Turning away from Lightning, he sat on the edge of the bed, his hand absentmindedly running through his platinum locks as he thought everything through.

_I don't know what to do..._ Truly, he didn't. There was so much he wanted to do. So many strong desires burned within him that he just couldn't attain nor relinquish.

There were the things that were impossible, of course. Like bringing back his parents. Like turning back time and stopping the whole l'Cie disaster from occurring.

There were the things that were possible, but were currently out of reach. Cocoon was still crystallized, despite his efforts. Almost the entire population of the planet was still entombed within it, including Fang and Vanille. He had promised them time and time again that he would free them. He wanted so badly to rescue them from their fate. Then there was Snow, Serah and Dajh who also needed freed. The NORA gang needed their leader, but he could not bring him back to them. Lightning needed her sister, but Hope couldn't give her that. And Sazh needed his son, but the director wasn't able to free the boy for him.

So many lives depended on him, yet what was he doing? Sitting on his ass waiting for information? Constantly letting himself and those closest to him be attacked? Chasing after a life with a woman who didn't seem to want to be with him? He had to do something. He was the leader of this new civilization and as such he was going to protect and save his people. Director Estheim was done being toyed with.

With all this in mind, Hope got up and dressed himself, being very mindful of the guest within his room. Lightning's presence still thoroughly confused him, but it delighted him as well. Maybe it was another step forward for them. After all, last he knew Lightning didn't allow herself to sleep beside anyone.

It just seemed that every step forward led to two steps back.

* * *

His eyelids flickered open for what felt like the first time in weeks. It was like being set free from a torrent of dreams and nightmares. Every time he awoke, it was the same. His body felt like lead. All of his limbs, his muscles, wouldn't move. He couldn't even move his tongue.

Mind in a haze, he attempted to search around him, his eyes straining to see where he and the rest of his team was. Two of his teammates were within his vision. They seemed to both be unconscious, or in the same catatonic state he had been in since he'd been snatched. Same as always.

After all of the time he had spent away, he had only woken up four times, each time never able to find out or process much. The dusty air flowed harshly through his lungs as usual. There wasn't much light except for the slight yellow glow. He laid on what felt like a stone floor, its rough exterior digging into his skin.

The sound of footsteps startled him. His eyes glanced everywhere around the room until he realized that whoever it was, was coming from behind him.

A man walked up to him and stood looking down into his face, a smug expression upon him. "It's Gadot, right?" The guy looked at him expectantly, as if Gadot could answer. This only served to infuriate the paralyzed, fiery haired man. "No, you don't have to speak. I know it's a bit challenging at the moment." He then snorted as he whistled toward something out of view. A signal if Gadot had ever seen one. "Don't worry, you'll be back to your blissful sleep in no time."

And within a few moments, the nameless man was proven right.

* * *

It was an hour after Hope had awoken that Lightning stirred. She found it odd that Hope was able to leave her side without her noticing. She was always such a light sleeper...

Hope heard Lightning come out of his room and come upstairs, presumably to dress for the day. He'd been sitting in his office since he'd woken up, reading through _Fabula Nova Crystallis_ again for anything that he might have missed. It was all he could do at the moment. It was something, but it wasn't enough.

During the time he'd been up, Hope had resolved to talk this over with Amodar and hopefully convince him that he needed to find a way to help. Taking down Castea and freeing those in stasis was all that mattered.

"Hey," spoke Lightning, announcing her presence in the room. Her eyebrow quirked upwards as Hope failed to acknowledge her in favor of continuing to read. "Still searching for answers in that book of yours?"

"Yeah... It's the only way I'm allowed to help out right now."

Her jaw tightened hearing that. She could see how much this waiting around affected him, but she couldn't deny the fact that she was happy Hope was taking a break. Even if it was forced and caused her to be thrown off duty as well. The young man practically killed himself working so much. The only reason he would ever stop was when she outright demanded him to. She inwardly cringed at what Hope's life was like before she woke up and wasn't there to halt his never-ending work cycle. "Anything new?"

Hope blew a sigh out through his nose as he turned a page, eyes still stuck to the book. "Not yet."

Lightning's eyes narrowed at the teen. Was she bothering him? Was he too busy to converse with her? Growing agitated by his attitude, Lightning walked up to him and snatched the book away. She ignored his protests as she sat in the chair in front of his desk, facing him.

"What the hell, Light!" The man was in a horrible mood and this was not the time for this. There were far too many things on his mind and he thought that enough of his rights had been stolen away from him already. Clearly even reading was luxury he was not allowed to enjoy.

Concerned eyes glanced over the heavy literature in her hand before she set it on her lap. "I think we need to discuss some things."

_You mean like why I woke up with you in my bed? Why I can't seem to get you to care about me when it matters most? Why I have to sit here instead of helping out my people? Why I have to constantly have the world thrust upon my shoulders? Why I can't ever seem to do anything right? Those things, Light?_ Despite his inner turmoil, Hope bit the inside of his cheek in frustration. "About what?"

"Yesterday... I didn't mean what you thought I-"

"Forget about it. It wasn't important."

What he said and what she saw in his expression as he said it, were two entirely different things. He kept his face guarded, but she could see the hurt that the conversation had caused him. "I think it was important." Obviously she was going to have to take the initiative in this discussion. The soldier silently cursed that fact. Words were not her thing. "I... I've never cared for someone like this before. And I... I really do care about you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah." Hope's brow furrowed as he cocked his head to the side.

It seemed that she'd gotten his attention. "As a soldier, we're taught that we're expendable to the greater purpose that we are fighting for. When I started out I accepted that completely, because... I already found my life expendable."

Emerald eyes widened when he heard that. Lightning's life was not worth any _greater purpose_. It was not expendable, by any means. Before he could voice this, he was stopped by her hardened stare.

"Serah changed that view, though. When I was laying in that bed after my first mission, completely torn up and knowing that I had narrowly escaped death." She scanned his eyes to see if he knew to when she was referencing. Back to her story about the death of her mother affecting her more than it should have. She carried on as he nodded his head in understanding. "I began to think of Serah first. I thought about what would have happened to her if I wasn't there. Serah would have been left without a home or a guardian. She would have nothing because of me." Swallowing thickly, Lightning put those thoughts out her mind. "From then on, I lived for her. And during the l'Cie fiasco, I lived for our team." A fond smile came to her face as she looked off into the distance. "I lived for you."

"Lightning..."

"I never thought about living for me." Her eyes burned into his, trying to get her point across. "I've never really thought about my future." She shifted in her seat, fidgeting because the next bit would be uncomfortable. "I never thought I would have one. My job was all I had and... truthfully I figured it would kill me someday. The future wasn't ever something I looked toward." Her hands clenched the book now in her grasp, warmth enveloping her as she thought about her next words that she said with immense honesty. "But maybe... with you that will change."

Hope was astonished by such words. A bright smile came to his lips, ecstatic that Lightning was thinking about a future with him. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said all of those things yesterday."

"They were true," she retorted, her gaze elsewhere. "Anyhow, right now the only future thoughts we need to be thinking about is ending this war we've found ourselves dragged into."

And soldier Lightning was back. Hope chuckled at this. "Yeah, I know." Shaking his head as he scratched the back of it, the director stood. "And I've been thinking about that, too. I can't just sit here." With that, he left the room, a confused Lightning left sitting in her seat.

She caught up to him as he got to the bottom of the stairs and hit the foyer. "Wait, what do you mean? Forced vacation, remember?"

Hope rolled his eyes. "I'm the director. I need to be out there protecting and saving my people. I'm no good to them here. Besides, I'm the reason everyone's in danger. It's my responsibility to take care of the threat no matter how you look at it." Finished with his argument, Hope began to walk away from her.

Lightning, on the other hand, was not letting this drop. In most ways, he was right, but he was going to get himself killed one way or another. "Orders are orders, Hope. You can't just disobey them when you please."

"Is that you or the soldier talking?" Lightning glared at him for that, but he already felt bad for the words. "I'm sorry, but I won't lounge around and let more people fight and die for me. Besides, it's not really an order for me. Amodar doesn't have the authority to give me orders."

Gritting her teeth, Lightning held him back. "You're working yourself too hard already. I can't keep watching you do this to yourself."

"Then don't," Hope shot back, infuriated by this pointless fight. He was leaving and nothing was going to stop him.

"I'm your guard. I will protect you from everything, including yourself."

That only served to enrage him further as he shoved her away from him, not hard enough to hurt her, but strong enough to momentarily stun her out of shock. "Stop it. Quit acting like you only exist to keep me alive. I know you're my 'personal guard' and all, but I can protect myself," he snarled. "What if I wanted to protect you, huh? What would you say?"

Shaking the stun off, the young woman growled at him for his aggressiveness toward her concern. "I'm not some damsel in distress, Hope."

"And I'm not some cowering kid, either." His shout rang in the air as he opened his front door.

Lightning, wanting so much to just punch the brat and get the fight over with, restrained herself and hustled to stop him once again. She was soon halted, though, by a slight whistle sounding through the air.

It happened so fast that the initial penetration took a moment for him to register. The sheer speed of the object sent Hope flying back through the entrance of his home until he was sprawled out on the floor. The pain came as he looked down to see what was now imbedded in his abdomen.

The soldier watched in horror as Hope flew past her and landed on the ground with a thud. Immediately springing into action, she went to his side seeing that an arrow was now firmly set into his stomach. Her eyes checked her surroundings for danger only to see nothing. Yelling at the guard's to get them to fan out and find the perpetrator, Lightning then turned back to Hope. "Fuck." While one hand applied pressure around the arrow, her other hand firmly gripped it, ready to yank it out. Once the arrow was out, Hope could heal himself. He'd be all better and she could kill whoever did this and go back to yelling at the stupid man. That was what she thought, until she was stopped.

"Don't, Light," he warned. His voice was strained as he grimaced and continued. "I know this type of arrow." He could see it in the way it was built, in the arrow's structure. "It... injects poison slowly upon penetration."

"Then let me get it out."

A guard came in then, his face covered in concern and stress. "Director, are you-"

"Call a med team," urged Lightning.

Hope put a shaky hand on top of Lightning's to gain her undivided attention. "If you pull that out, the rest of the poison will immediately be injected into my system. I'll... die in seconds."

* * *

Zalera had watched the action happen from her place, perched in a tree surrounding Hope's home. She'd been keeping a close eye on the two since the incident the previous day. From her spot she could clearly see the whole front of the house and the door. Whoever had shot that arrow had extremely good aim.

Quickly processing the event, she bounded after the attacker based on the direction the projectile had come from. The warrior zoomed through the trees, her eyes scanning over all of the area around her. She was done with this. She was entirely too tired of Castea and her goons striking and getting off scot-free. Enough was enough.

A flash of red soon caught her attention. It was a women dressed in a red sari, running at top speed. She followed them for nearly two miles, keeping herself just out of sight so they wouldn't know she was following. The woman stopped a few yards ahead of her, climbing a tree to rest on a branch and scan the area, looking for followers. Zalera hid herself while keeping an eye on her. For a moment, she thought she recognized the attacker. It was only after she heard the woman chuckling to herself that Zalera knew.

Flicking her black hair from her face, the woman grinned. "And I was worried about getting away." A rustling of the branches above her alerted her to look up. It appeared to be too late for she raised her head just in time to be caught in the face by a knee coming straight down on top of her. The hit knocked the ebony-haired woman from the branch, but she grabbed a lower one before she could hit the ground.

Zalera jumped down a series of branches until she reached the ground and looked to the attacker who soon mimicked her movements until they stood face to face. "I should have known. That was an exceptional shot at that distance," hissed Zalera. "So you go around trying to kill teenagers now, huh? Why, Aida?"

Aida only smirked at her. "If I wanted to kill him, he'd be dead. Y'know that." Whipping out her chakram, Zalera held it to her neck. The woman didn't flinch, only used the back of her hand to wipe the blood from her now leaking nose. "Y'gonna kill me?"

"I should," she spat. "But unfortunately my friends will want answers. And you're gonna give them to them." Her chakram soon dug into the woman's tan skin, nicking her neck. "Or I won't hesitate."

The attacker's smile grew as she shrugged. "Once you're caught, you're caught."

* * *

Lightning rode with Hope as the med team drove him to the hospital. The silveret groaned and hissed in pain, trying hard to stay still. One of the men tending to Hope began to cut the clothing from his abdomen, Lightning's eyes widening as they did so.

The area around the arrow was purple, the circumference of the horrid discoloration too large, too dark. The veins around it were black and swollen, now raised against his skin. It was a horrible sight that the woman couldn't tear her eyes away from. _I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I hated fighting with you, but this is what I was talking about. You're going to get yourself killed._

Lightning's hand held Hope's as he squeezed it hard. It felt like the life was being sucked out of him. It was almost like enduring the death spell with Alexander yet again. He coughed and gagged as his throat began to swell shut. It appeared that this arrow was far more deadly than the counterparts Hope had encountered. After a few more moments, Hope lost consciousness.

"You're going to be fine, Hope. I'm not going to let you die on me." It dawned on her then that Hope's grip on her hand had loosened significantly, alerting her to his lack of consciousness. "Hope!" Her terrified gaze turned to an enraged one as she looked to the medic. "What are you doing? Help him," she insisted, roughly grabbing the man's arm.

The medic appeared unaffected as he shook her grip off. "His organs are shutting down and his throat is closing. I don't have the cure for whatever poison this is, so it's going to have to wait until we reach the hospital. All I can do is keep his lungs pumping and his heart beating." He gave her an empathetic glance, having watched their interaction. "It's better that he's out for this. His body will focus on keeping him alive instead of awake. Now control yourself, soldier."

Her sharp gaze softened as it fell back to Hope, her hand still clutching his and her other one sifting through his hair.

_Don't leave me._

* * *

It had been three hours since the attack. Zalera stood outside of the interrogation room, staring at the archer through the one-way mirror. It was obvious that Aida could sense her presence for although she could see nothing but herself, she stared directly at Zalera.

Lightning walked into the room then, the only person to successfully take her gaze away for hours. The girl looked like hell and as the sergeant's eyes found Aida, she could see the burning hatred. "How's Hope's recovery?"

Lightning scoffed, slight amusement yet still overwhelming anger in her voice. "He swears he's fine. All cheery fucking smiles. When did he become such an outright liar?" Lightning's eyes scanned the girl waiting within the room, the desire to knock the attacker's nose into her brain being strong.

The woman was of average build and height, her skin of a deep tan. Her shaggy ebony colored hair fell to about her shoulders, one braid beside her face with a few beads threaded through it. A red sari was wrapped around her frame, very reminiscent of Fang's. Her hands were cuffed to the table in front of her as she sat with a satisfied smirk on her face and a surprising amount of hatred shining within her golden irises.

"They get all of the poison out," Zalera asked, her gaze not leaving the window.

This broke Lightning's thoughts as she turned to her. "Yes," she hissed, "though, for doctors I think they should have been able to handle it a lot faster. Hope's heart stopped three times before he became stable. Amateurs." Shaking her head, Lightning clicked her tongue. Hope woke up about an hour before. He said that once he had a little more of his strength back, he could heal his wound and be all better. _The idiot actually asked if he could come and talk to his attacker. As if I would let him out of his hospital bed or anywhere near this bitch._ "What's her story, anyway? She talk yet? If not, I'm sure I could get something out of her."

Zalera smirked. "Like some of her internal organs, I'm sure."

"Why not all of them?"

The green-haired woman sighed in a small attempt to calm herself. "Her name is Alvin Ren Aida," spoke Zalera, the name coming out venomously. "She's thirty-five. She used to live in the town neighboring mine when I was a child."

Lightning looked at her, intrigued by this news. _So Zalera knows her._ That explained the heavy look of betrayal.

"She's a highly skilled archer. Her hunting skills were legendary by the time she was ten. I can't believe she's become an assassin..."

Amodar joined them in the room and Lightning immediately turned to him. He simply shook his head as she went to speak. "You shouldn't even be here, Farron."

"Why not? I have every right to be here. She attacked on _that woman's_ orders and I know it. I can get it out of her. I want to talk to her, sir."

"Absolutely not." Amodar gave her a stern eye before looking to Aida. "You are far too emotionally invested in this." His gaze slid over to Zalera causing shock to form on the sergeant's face as she caught his look's meaning.

"And she's not?" she yelled, fighting to keep her temper down.

"Zalera knows her and apprehended her. She'd be the one most likely to get answers out of her as well as keep calm."

The young Farron's face scrunched up in anger before her heated gaze met Zalera's. "You better get her to talk or so help me-"

"I will," she assured with ease. "She wants to talk to me. That's why she didn't put up a fight when I caught her. She ran, but she didn't even try to leave when she saw me. There's a message she wants heard. Probably from Castea."

Lightning clenched her fists as the elder woman walked past her and into the room. She turned to Amodar as he came to stand right beside her, gaining full view of the interrogation. "I'm not leaving."

A small laugh erupted from the general and her long-time friend. "I didn't expect you to."

Zalera sat across from the woman, only the table between them. Both stared into each others eyes, tension at its highest. "Why?"

Aida's eyes narrowed as her amused gaze took in the woman before her. "It's been a long while, Zalera. I haven't seen you since you were what? Eleven... maybe twelve?"

"Thirteen."

"Right. You still wear all green, I see. Still mourning your parents and town with the color of your rags. The guilt of survival still eat away at you at night?" Aida's head cocked to the side with her inquiry, grin broadening. "Or has it been replaced by the guilt of surviving your new tribe's attack? How do you keep escaping death when no one else does? Maybe you're too much of a coward to save others and just run and hide at the sign of trouble."

That comment through her over the edge. She lunged across the table, her hand tightly gripping her old friend's throat. "Don't you dare."

Amodar was about to interrupt, but Zalera let go and sat back in her seat. He could admit that she was showing an immense amount of control.

Taking a breath, Aida chuckled before her expression transitioned from one of amusement to one of resentment and disgust. "A coward and a traitor."

"Excuse me," she inquired, clearly affronted by such accusations.

"You're living amongst them. _Friends_ with them. You said it yourself when you caught me. You're even beginning to sound like them. Of course, I'm hardly surprised considering your heritage..." Banging her fist on the table, she sat forward. "These... Cocoon people," she sneered. "They destroy their own planet and now they think they can take over our land?"

Zalera's hand slid down her face. She should have known that this would come up. Each side was very prejudicial to the other. "They don't mean us any harm, Aida. Not most of them, anyway. Certainly not Hope-"

" _Their leader_. Of course, he's the worst of them all. His very existence is harmful to us and even his own people."

Zalera's eyes lifted from the table to meet hers, realizing that she was talking about Hope's l'Cie status and the crystals. The only way she could know about that was if she was working with Castea.

"Oh, yeah, I know about him. News spread like wildfire, Zalera. Even among us. Everyone is out to get your new little l'Cie."

A brow rose. "Everyone?"

Aida snorted in response. "Since when have l'Cie ever been a good thing? And a Cocoon l'Cie could only be after one thing: the destruction of Pulse." She then leaned forward, her hands spread out on the table as her nails dug into it. "With the migration came news of what happened to Cocoon and why it happened. The fal'Cie of Cocoon wanted a new world. They created the l'Cie to bring this desire to fruition. What else would the kid's rebranding be for, if not his original purpose?"

Zalera took in her words. Not once did she reference the crystals or Castea. Most of her information was assumption based off of past facts. "Why you?" Aida looked to her with confusion, so she thought to clarify. "If the director is such a big bad threat, why of all of the people of Pulse were you chosen to take care of him?"

Cockiness surfaced in her expression as she smugly replied, "Who else could match my skills? Who would be a better assassin?"

"But you didn't assassinate him. You said it yourself that if you wanted to kill him, he'd be dead."

Aida's jaw clenched as the first sign of uncertainty surfaced upon her.

A few minutes passed while Zalera waited for an answer. She carried on when one wasn't given. "When did you start selling your skills out to Castea?"

A spark of anger flashed through her eyes. "I'm not sure who you're referring to. I know no one by that name. And I sell out to _no one_."

"You don't know who the leader of the pack is that took out my tribe? That killed Yeul? The woman that has decimated every sacred Pulsian oath which we hold dear?" Zalera's voice grew shaky as she seethed.

Shock showed upon Aida's face, but she kept quiet, leading Zalera to depart from the room.

"She's lying," growled the sergeant. "Let me in there."

"I don't think she is," Zalera interjected, her face pensive as she stood against the door. "She never once spoke of the crystals. Her reasoning for attacking Hope was based on his old purpose as a l'Cie. And when I mentioned Castea-"

"She really didn't know who you were talking about until you referenced Castea's slaughtering of Pulsians," finished Lightning.

"Right. Almost all villages and tribes know of Castea and her followers, just not by name. I didn't know who she was until after I saw her back when I was captured. Her group's deeds are widely known. Their ruthless murdering and conquering mirrors that of legendary blood thirsty tribes like the one that took down the four great kingdoms centuries ago."

Lightning thought hard about everything that had been said and done during the interrogation. "But she didn't kill Hope. If she really was just an assassin sent from the Pulsians, and she's as good as you both say, why isn't he dead?"

Amodar cleared his throat, contributing to the conversation then. "The arrow was laced with a large dose of a very rare poison. It's a miracle that we even had the cure for it. Maybe they wanted him to suffer instead of dying a quick death."

Considering that, Lightning turned to Zalera with a different theory. "Or...She's a very confident and prideful person, right?" Zalera nodded. "Maybe she did mean to kill him outright. Maybe something stopped that arrow from hitting its original, more deadly target. She obviously wouldn't want to admit that her plan didn't work out and is playing it off as a purposeful hit."

Amodar shook his head in confusion. "How-"

"Castea," interrupted Zalera.

Lightning huffed, but nodded. "It wouldn't be surprising in the least if she knew of the attack. She would be keeping an eye on Hope, anyway. She may not have orchestrated this, but she would have known about it. As for how she stopped it... she has a lot of powers that we don't know of. Why she didn't stop the attack completely... I'm unsure."

"She did say that she helped keep Hope alive during all of the other assassination attempts. Some he didn't even know about." Zalera grimaced as she pinched the bridge of her nose, agitated by the whole day.

Amodar crossed his arms before him as he stood straight. "We'll keep questioning her, though I doubt we'll get much more from her. Farron, I want you back in that hospital with Estheim. You're still on leave from all duties besides being his protection."

"But, sir-"

"Not a word, Farron."

Lightning's mouth snapped shut as she nodded. "Do you think there will be more like her," she inquired toward Zalera.

"If she isn't working for Castea, then most likely."

* * *

Hope was sitting up in his hospital bed, panting heavily. Sazh's hand was on his shoulder as he looked into his face with concern while Lebreau stood over him, seeming very upset.

"What happened?" Lightning rushed to his side, pushing Sazh's out of her way.

"We told him not to," spoke Sazh with a sigh.

Lebreau stamped her foot in disagreement. " _I_ told him not to. You just shook your head."

Hope's breathing slowed somewhat, but it was still far too shallow. "What happened," she insisted.

The NORA girl gritted her teeth. "He healed his wound." Lightning's head shot up before she shot a glare toward Hope. "I told him that he should wait. I may not have gotten all of these fancy powers like the rest of you, but magic draws a lot of energy, right? Something Hope is currently in short supply of."

"Damn it, Hope." She knew he was going to do it. He even said that he was going to. She should have stayed to stop him. Her anger had gotten the best of her yet again.

"I'm... fine," he panted, the teen finally able to speak. It took him a bit to calm down before he sat back, cringing at the looks he was receiving from his company. "See, now there's no reason for me to be here."

"Shut it, Estheim," barked Lightning. "You're staying here until I say so."

A dejected pout crossed his face, but he made no further protest. He wheezed some before turning back to Lightning. "Did you speak to her?"

"I wasn't allowed." Lightning rolled her eyes. "Zalera did. Turns out she knew her. A Pulsian from close quarters. Naturally we thought that she was working for Castea, but... that may not be so."

Hope's expression grew somber, but he kept himself as composed as he could. "There are a lot of people who want me dead. Many have been trying for years, it seems." His already sore throat tightened. He would have never thought that so many people would find his death beneficial. "Besides, Castea may have tortured me and loves to taunt me, but she goes through a lot of trouble to keep me alive. That was far too close a call for her."

Lightning's face fell into her usual mask, holding her feelings at bay as a thought crossed her mind. _If she wasn't sent by Castea, then does that mean that others will come to finish the job? I'm already struggling to protect you as is. How am I supposed to stop all of Pulse?_

* * *

Soldiers in charge of watching over the attacker scrambled to open the interrogation room door. Something was happening to the woman, but they couldn't get into the room.

Amodar rushed in, horror reaching his face as he watched through the window. "What..."

Aida was struggling, her body convulsing in her seat. Her eyes looked about ready to pop out of her skull as her veins surfaced to the top of her skin, the ones in her neck bulging dangerously.

Shoving his men out of the way, Amodar slammed his shoulder against the door repeatedly, sighing with relief as he succeeded. Though it was too late, it seemed. Aida was on the floor, laying in a pool of her own blood.

* * *

Hope laughed at Maqui's antics as he spoke of his latest fight with Sazh's chocobo. The goggled man was hopeless when it came to animals. His laughs ended, though, as he heard a familiar voice echo in his mind.

_"I will always protect you."_

Hope's confusion outweighed his fear and anger as he thought about Castea's words. _What does she mean?_

His question was soon answered, however, as Lightning got a call on her comm, her face contorting into an unreadable expression. "I'll be there soon." Shutting off her comm, Lightning met Hope's eyes, her intensity conveying the extreme seriousness. "Aida's dead."


	19. Crescendo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I will always protect you."

Hope and Lightning stood within the small interrogation room, Hope's expression filled with disbelief and disgust while Lightning's similar feelings were kept concealed behind her stoic mask. The scene was truly horrific and Hope suspected that it was a sight that would be burned into his retinas for ages. Aida's body laid limply against the table, her legs splayed out on the floor, arms above her due to her wrists being cuffed to the table top. Her blood shot eyes were frozen in terror, the fear and pain the woman felt in the moment of her death clearly visible. Dark bruises of various sizes were scattered along her skin; she looked battered beyond belief.

Then there was the blood. The dark red was splattered everywhere as the horrid scent clung to the air with no means of letting go. Blood had leaked from the woman's eyes, nose, ears, as well as her mouth, though it appeared that most of the internal liquid had come from her neck. There was so much blood that Hope wanted to vomit. He swallowed thickly, holding back the bile. The blood covered her and the sight reminded him just a bit too much of how he knew he had looked while being tortured.

Lightning could see it too; Hope had looked very similar during his days in the ark. Another flare of anger rose from within her, but she kept herself together. Her sanity had to remain intact. She had to remain calm.

"Interesting..." Dr. Viktor Torkin stood hunched over Aida's lifeless body examining her cause of death with a careful and ardent eye. "And she died without anyone else in the room," he murmured to himself. Talking to himself was always the most proficient way to work. Everything was so much more memorable that way.

"According to everyone's statements." Lightning crossed her arms before her, sharp eyes scanning over the room. The area told a similar story. If Aida's body said the same thing, then there was no doubt in her mind that this was Castea's work. And if this was due to Castea, then it appeared that the woman's powers were limitless.

Torkin jumped, startled at the new voice within the room. "I'm terribly sorry, I had no idea anyone else was in here. Why, hello, Director. It's wonderful to see you again. I'd shake your hand, but..." He flexed his gloved fingers before him, showing that his hands were smeared with blood.

"Yeah..." Swiftly putting on a smile, Hope waved it off. "No matter. It's great to see you again, Viktor. And I thought I told you to call me Hope."

The balding man's widened slightly before he smiled bashfully. "Right, very sorry, Hope." The man's bespectacled gaze then fell onto the other occupant of the room. "Ah, and Sergeant Farron, was it? Great to see you, as well."

Lightning simply nodded in acknowledgement before turning back to the task at hand. "You have a cause of death yet?"

Torkin contemplated that for a moment, his eyes roving over Aida's body while he clasped his hands before him. "Well, I will need more time with the body once we get back to my office, but... yes, I do believe I do." The man sighed as his eyes glazed over with wonder. "Such a marvelous specimen, she is. A truly intriguing death we have here in front of us. She bled out, yes, but that's not the interesting part. You see how her eyes are almost completely bloodshot?"

Hope and Lightning nodded, the young man tilting his head to the side as his curiosity of the woman's death began to outweigh his disgust.

"And you see these bruises?"

Another nod.

A grin came to the man's face, seeming almost delighted as he spoke. "Her blood vessels burst. Her blood vessels and various veins burst causing the red in her eyes and the blood to surface under the skin, hence the bruising. But..." Torkin paused, a finger held before him, ecstatic about his discovery. "The killer here is," bending down slightly, he pointed to Aida's neck where most of the blood had splashed against the table and pooled beneath her, "her jugular vein and her carotid artery. They burst as well. The pressure of the blood caused them to just pop. All that blood just burst right out... even through all the skin." The man was truly amazed. He'd never seen anything like it in his entire medical career.

Hope's brows crinkled in confusion. "But what caused all of her vessels and veins and even... her artery to just explode? What could spike her pressure so high that it just... couldn't stay in any longer?"

Torkin glanced up from his notes, smile only broadening. "The cause of that?" He shook his head. "Something, I'm not sure what, but something caused her blood to boil. Her body heat must have skyrocketed in seconds. Whether it was due to a poison or illness or injury or a number of other possibilities, I'm uncertain. It will take some time with her."

Lightning grunted in understanding before turning and preparing to get out of the room. She was stopped, however, by the ever enthusiastic medical examiner.

"I did find this. I think she did it with her own nail."

"Did what," Hope asked, a tad wary of the man's next words.

"It looks as though she carved something into her arm. Considering the amount of blood the wound provided, I'd say it was before this all occurred - mere moments, maybe." Grabbing a few cloths from his kit, Torkin cleaned off some of the blood from the Pulsian's arm, uncovering the message.

' _I will always protect you'_

"Does it mean anything to either one of you?" Torkin inquired as he glanced up towards the two.

Hope's jaw clenched and he felt that familiar sensation in his gut foretelling of the vomit waiting to come up. The silveret fled the room quickly, his breathing becoming shallow.

"Hope," Lightning shouted as she chased after the terrified man. Catching him hunched over in the hallway, Lightning grabbed his shoulder. "Are you okay?" Azure orbs roved over Hope's pale face, seeing the panic he held within. "What does it mean?"

"It's my fault," he whispered softly, his breath hitching as he began to slide down the wall into a squat. His head fell in his hands, long, slender fingers grasping at platinum locks.

"Hope, what-"

Releasing his hold on his hair, Hope looked up at Lightning with unshed tears in his eyes. "She was a threat to me, so Castea killed her." After waiting a few moments for it to sink into the rosette's mind, Hope's head fell back against the wall with a thump. _Even my enemies will die at the hands of her..._

"Director?"

Both turned to see little Officer Mires hesitantly walking towards them, her pitiful gaze zeroed in on the director.

"Yes, Mires?" Hope stood up, quickly collecting himself.

Mires straightened up as well, facing her superiors, though her sympathetic gaze did not relent. "There's something you should see."

* * *

"What on Pulse is it." Zalera shouted as she entered the room. Another person dead. Another fellow Pulsian gone. Sure, Aida had been her enemy, but she had also been her friend in a past life. Because of this, the warrior was beyond distraught.

Amodar, Rygdea, Hope and Lightning stood in the room in front of a large monitor that encompassed the entire southern wall of the surveillance room. Rygdea glanced in her direction, sighing at the enraged woman. _Why'_ _re_ _all_ _these_ _women_ _always so angry? Wouldn't matter to me if they all didn't have the ability to kick my ass._ He understood, he supposed. Zalera had known Aida - rather well from what he'd gathered watching the interview between the two. "We thought you'd need to see this."

The interrogation room popped onto the screen, Aida idly sitting there, ante mortem. There was a strange mixture of irritation and satisfaction written on her face as she slouched. A few minutes passed with her in the same position, give or take a few sighs and body shifts. And then, something changed. Suddenly, she sat up straight, her eyes glazed over. Golden irises fell upon her forearm before she began digging into her flesh with her nail. What she was writing, they could guess.

When the message was finished, the woman slumped back in her chair, as if she hadn't moved at all - as if she hadn't just torn up her skin with her own nails. Aida sat there calmly, silently, while the blood dripped down her arm and onto the metal table.

It took another few moments before she began to convulse, her body trembling and shaking, writhing in pain. Her wrists were still cuffed to the table as her fingers twitched before scraping desperately at the table in front of her. Aida's eyes bugged out, each becoming redder as time progressed and a bloodcurdling scream tore from her throat. Bruises began to rapidly appear beneath her bronze skin. Her muscular legs kicked so hard that her chair fell out from under her, her body landing on the floor with her wrists still bound to the tabletop. It only took another second or two before blood burst from the carotid artery in her neck, killing her instantly. Her struggle ended with half of her body on the floor, the rest slumped against the table with her arms still held up on the table by her cuffs. The death was gruesome, yet swift. She died in a span of nearly forty-five seconds.

Zalera swallowed, her eyes shutting tightly, reigning in her emotions. _Another death due to that wench._

The general cut the footage. Aida's body had still been twitching, blood spurting from her neck, but she was dead. They didn't need to see any more of it. He'd already seen it all. "The message?" Amodar turned to Hope, having already figured the answer.

Hope's nostrils flared and his head hung low. "For me."

Amodar clasped his hands behind his back, turning to everyone in the room. "I thought as much." He knew that things were only going to get worse with this woman, yet this had still caught him off guard. Amodar felt guilt settle within him for not being able to save Aida. The list of those he had not been able to save was getting quite long and it needed to stop. But with being a general, there would always be casualties and those you cannot save. The burden of this just grows heavier with time. "So... any ideas on how that was accomplished?"

"Castea knows her powers well. She's experienced," spoke Zalera through gritted teeth. "She can mess with people's minds, even control them for a certain amount of time." Green eyes flashed towards Lightning before settling on the general again. She would keep her secrets, whether they were secrets worthy of being kept or not. "The woman's done it to me in the past."

"It doesn't matter how or why. All that matters is taking care of Castea. This has to end," Lightning growled.

Zalera's head whipped around, eyes staring hard at the sergeant. "Like hell it doesn't matter. She wasn't just some _Pulsian_ , just another casualty of war for a soldier to overlook. She was my friend."

"I didn't mean it like that and you know it."

Hope knew a fight when he saw one and there was definitely one brewing between the two women. He was about to step in between them and end it before it could start, only to be stopped.

Rygdea could sense the battle forming between Lightning and Zalera as well. Difference was, he could see that it was a battle that needed to occur. Things needed to be clarified between the two, and the men were going to leave them to hash it out.

Amodar and Rygdea ushered Hope out of the room along with a few of the Academy officers. "They need to discuss some things," explained Rygdea as he faced the younger man's confusion. "So we're gonna give them some time. How about we train some? It's certainly been awhile."

After giving the surveillance room door a glance of uncertainty, Hope gave Rygdea a small smile. "You're on."

"You comin', my friend," Rygdea asked Amodar, a grin on his face.

"Not today. I'm going to go bother young Leonald and DeWald, see what their research has yielded so far."

"All work and no play make's for a shitty day." Rygdea began to laugh as Amodar rolled his eyes with a sigh at his unrefined and unprofessional remark. _He should be damn near used to it by now._ "Well, let's get to it, kid."

Lightning and Zalera waited for the others to depart before continuing their conversation. "I'm sure she meant a lot to you and I'm sorry, but-"

"You're not sorry," Zalera sneered. "You're ecstatic that Aida's dead, aren't you?"

"Tch, I don't have time for this." Lightning turned, intending on leaving the woman to fume on her own. She needed to remain by Hope's side. Protecting Hope and killing Castea were still her main objectives, not consoling the mourner of an assassin.

"Aren't you?" she insisted. When Lightning only kept walking, she pulled out her chakram and threw it, the weapon landing in the door. "Aren't you?!"

A huff came from the soldier before she spun around. If she wanted a fight, she would get one. "Yes, okay? Of course I'm happy that she's dead. Have you forgotten? She tried to murder Hope! That woman came here with one intention in mind. She wanted Hope dead. If Castea hadn't killed her, I would have!"

"It's always about Hope, isn't it? It doesn't matter what Aida's reasons for hunting Hope were. It doesn't matter if she was my friend. It doesn't matter _who_ she was. All that matters is Hope's life, right?"

"Right."

"Because you _care_ about him," she asked mockingly.

Lightning's fists clenched. "Right."

Zalera scoffed as she strolled up to Lightning, expression unconvinced. "You wouldn't know how to care for someone if you tried."

Fed up with the insults, Lightning punched her elder in the face, square on the nose. The satisfaction swelled within her and she found herself punching her again and again and again. Once in the cheek, once in the chin, and finally once in the stomach. Zalera staggered back into the wall and before she could raise her head, she found her neck held against the barrier by Lightning's forearm. "I'm tired of you bad mouthing me and I'm sick of you belittling my feelings."

Spitting out the blood from her new cut on the inside of her cheek, Zalera faced Lightning with a smirk. "What feelings?"

With a growl, Lightning pulled her gunblade and aimed it at the green-haired woman's face.

"Am I your enemy, Firefly? Am I a target now?"

Gritting her teeth, Lightning pushed harder against Zalera's neck. She was being egged on, she knew it, but she didn't care. She was tired. She was so goddamn tired of it all. Everyone she cared for kept getting hurt and killed and she couldn't stop it. She was useless. She was worthless as a soldier, as a sister, as a girlfriend, even as a human being. She couldn't take this much longer.

Green eyes stared deeply into icy blue. "Do it," she dared while grabbing ahold of the blade of Lightning's weapon and roughly jerking it forward towards her own face. "Kill your enemy, soldier."

Lightning's glare intensified as did her hold on her weapon, the gunblade soon shaking in both their grasps.

" _A soldier never falters when given an order..."_

Another few moments passed before the sergeant's eyes widened in realization of what she was about to do and who she was about to do it to.

_"...Be sure to think, however. An order isn't always what it seems."_

Zalera's gaze was blank, though one tear fell down her cheek as she left her fate in the others hands.

The words she had learned from her commanding officer all those years ago rang in her head. Lightning didn't want this. Blinking a few times as her brows furrowed, she withdrew and took a step back. _What was I about to do?_ Mortified by her actions, Lightning turned to leave the room, holstering her weapon. "You wanna be killed, get someone else to do it."

* * *

Their sabers clanged and shrieked as they were forced together, a battle of will and strength forming. Rygdea and Hope were training outside, seeing as it was a tremendous day. They were in front of Hope's house, the perimeter having been secured and crowded with new guards.

Both men pushed full force against their opponent. Boots slid in the dirt as they both focused on besting the other man, perspiration dripping heavily down their bodies. Blowing sweaty silver tendrils from his eyes, Hope locked gazes with Rygdea. His muscles in his right arm began to spaz slightly, causing Rygdea to gain ground. It lasted only for a moment before Hope pushed back using the strength of his core muscles. This, of course, caused a strong twinge of pain in his abdomen from the remains of the arrow's infliction.

The Cavalry leader watched in concern as Hope winced, his persistence waning. Realizing that this training may have been doing more harm than good, being far too soon into his recovery, Rygdea withdrew, sliding to the right and out of Hope's way as the teen fell forward with the loss of resistance.

"What was that?" Hope's breathy question held traces of pain, though he had tried to hide it. His hand immediately went to favor his stomach, but he refrained from letting it do so.

"How's the injury?"

"Oh, c'mon, Rygdea. You don't just give up. Aren't you supposed to exploit the enemy's weaknesses? Besides, I'm fine." Hope took a stance, ready to continue their battle, only to watch Rygdea sigh and sit down, his blade being tossed to the side. Relaxing, the teen looked to his mentor quizzically.

Unconvinced by the others words, Rygdea sat down and pulled his hair back into a loose ponytail. "Don't whine to me, boy. That's not very befitting of a leader." Hope's face scrunched up in distaste as he went to speak, though Rygdea didn't allow him the courtesy. "And if you were the enemy, of course I'd exploit that wound you've so obviously been trying to hide," the man remarked, his expression displaying his disapproval towards Hope for attempting to conceal his injury. "However, you aren't the enemy, you're my charge. I'm supposed to make sure you're okay and kick you're ass if ya lie to me." A prideful gleam took over Rygdea's eyes that had Hope squirm uncomfortably, his shameful gaze turned down.

"You don't have to get all paternal on me." Hope collapsed to the ground and gulped in a breath.

"I do, Hope. You were left in my hands after... after you're father passed and although you were already eighteen-"

"You were already like a father to me before dad died, Rygdea." Emerald eyes met sky blue as Hope spoke nothing but the truth. "You know that."

Scratching at the stubble of his chin, Rygdea shook his head with a chuckle. "Don't try to soften me up and make me forget that stomach you've been trying not to nurse. How is it? You didn't fully heal it, did you?"

 _Shouldn't have even tried._ "Hurts a bit. I healed most of it up and the doctors said they got virtually all of the poison out, though a small, non-lethal portion will linger in my system for a few days. I think it's that trace amount of poison that's keeping me from being able to cure it completely."

"And just what are you two morons doing?" shouted Lightning as she approached, a scowl marring her features. "You were just shot, Hope. With a poisoned arrow. You could have died, remember?"

Hope cringed as she stood over them. "It was just some light practice, okay? No biggie."

 _No biggie?_ He had been shot, almost died. There was a possibility that not only were Castea and her minions lurking around, but many trigger happy Pulsians with Hope in their cross-hairs. And he was just playing around outside, still uncaring towards his health. Before Lightning was able to voice any of her opinions, Hope's comm went off, followed shortly by Rygdea's.

Hope groaned as he sat up a little straighter and answered, throwing an apologetic look Lightning's way. "Yeah...?" Hope's look of annoyance suddenly fell away. _"What?!"_

* * *

"It's true. All of them are accounted for. They're being examined now, but it seems that there's no need. Aside from being extremely groggy from what they assume to be some sort of drug, they're all just the same as they were when they were abducted," concluded Amodar, beaming as he spoke with a newly arrived Hope, Lightning and Rygdea.

Hildough was at the General's side, his eyes searching through the surrounding people within the hospital as they spoke. "I have contacted Waynes, as requested. He should be here within the next five or six hours to speak with us on this matter."

Amodar gave his thanks before being assaulted with more questions.

"Are we sure they're all okay? Have any of them said anything about what happened to them," asked Hope impatiently.

Lightning gave him a few moments before her own questions began to slip out. "Sir, did they confirm that it was Castea's people that took them? Do they know where to find them?" She had to know. This could be the break they had been waiting for.

"Has anyone contacted their families, yet?" Sazh's voice alerted every one of his presence as he walked up to the group.

Amodar heaved a heavy sigh as he began to address everyone. "We have soldiers and staff contacting families after examinations are completed. It'll take some time seeing as twenty-four people just popped up out of nowhere. As I said, they all seem to be just fine, though they are very out of it. They also seem to have little to no memory of their time away with no knowledge of where they have been held. There has been no confirmation of Castea Hidon's group's involvement other than Mr. DeWald's account of the original abduction. According to the guards that found them at the perimeter, they all just showed up out of thin air."

"Hope!" Maqui cried as he entered the scene, followed swiftly by the rest of the NORA gang.

"Calm down, Maq-"

Lebreau stomped up to the young director and yanked him down by his collar so his face was at her level, jerking him out of his sentence. "No bull shit, Hope. Where's Gadot?" Light brown eyes bore into Hope's as she conveyed in her gaze that if he failed to give her answers, she would not hesitate in kicking his ass. Given Yuj's glower that the blunet was giving Hope over her shoulder, one could only assume that he would join in on the ass whooping too.

All of the threatening stares were unnecessary, though, for Hope would have gladly told them where their teammate was... had he actually known Gadot's location. Desperate eyes flitted over to Amodar as Hope silently asked for some assistance.

Another sigh was given while the man rubbed his forehead in thought. "It's against protocol-"

Yuj's expression immediately fell into shock and anger as he interrupted. "No way, man. You are not keeping us from-"

"-but I'll make an exception," finished Amodar, giving Yuj a warning glance. "You all must be cautious. He's very out of it and we aren't quite sure of his state of mind."

Lebreau gulped at the new knowledge before nodding eagerly. "We just want to see him."

The group, sans Hildough for he had some other business to attend to, then went to Gadot's room, some with all of the patience of a fly. Lebreau flew into the room, the hospital door smacking loudly against the wall. A young nurse tending to their friend was about to squawk at them for the loud disruption and ruckus, but immediately halted her words when she spotted the Cavalry leader, general and director all within the group.

"Miss, how is he?" asked Amodar, taking her by the arm and leading her out of the room along with Rygdea, leaving the others to their reunion.

Gadot, miraculously still resting despite the commotion, was then jostled awake as he felt himself smothered. The large man's eyes adjusted to the reality around him. _Is this a dream?_ After living so long in a comatose state, it was hard to tell between the dream and reality, especially with the times that he had truly been awake being so hazy. But as he felt the warm arms he was being embraced in, the weight of their bodies against him, and the sheer joy and freedom he felt in that moment, he knew that he was no longer stuck in a nightmare of a dream state any longer. "It's over..." he murmered as he embraced his best friends.

"You're back," was all the young brunet could say as she hugged Gadot with all her might, the sobbing slurring her speech.

Maqui was on the other side of Gadot, also embracing the man with all he had. The thoughts that had been plaguing him for months, that he would never see his beloved best friend again, disappeared. Gadot was back. He didn't have to feel so guilty and hollow for surviving the abduction anymore. "I can't believe you're here."

The two spent a few more minutes welcoming Gadot home with hugs, tears and threats from Lebreau that if he ever got himself kidnapped again she would cut his manhood off and feed it to a zirnitra.

The bulky man laughed heartily as they separated, until his gaze found Hope standing before him. He was stunned and overjoyed to see that he was safe. "Hope..."

"Welcome back, Gadot."

The fiery haired man shook his head and blinked, once again unsure if this was all real. He thought they had failed. He was sure Hope was dead. "...You're alive."

Sorrow and guilt sparked within his eyes before he shoved his emotions back. This was about Gadot. "Thanks to you, my friend, and your sacrifice." Hope smiled brilliantly as he went in to give the man a hug. Emerald eyes bugged out as he felt his body almost being crushed. _I see your strength hasn't suffered much._

"Please, I did nothing but get myself captured," Gadot laughed.

"You did more than you know."

Gadot disagreed, but the argument was not worth the time or effort. The man was exhausted. "Hey there, Lightning. How's life been treating you?"

"Splendidly," deadpanned the soldier. "You should rest up. We could use you out there." Lightning never really thought much of the NORA gang, that was no secret, but Gadot always seemed capable and he always treated Serah like a sister.

"Concern for me? Ha, never thought I'd see the day." _I wonder what I've missed out on. Lightning's definitely softened some. Snow would be shocked off his feet._

In response, Lightning rolled her eyes and continued to rigidly stand against the wall. "Tch."

"And you, Sazh?"

The eldest of the group gave a wave and a warm smile. "Not bad. Great to see ya, big guy."

The room fell into silence as all attention turned to Yuj who was still standing beside the doorway, his eyes locked onto the floor. Gadot tilted his head to the side as his brows furrowed, looking at his friend curiously.

No one else understood it either. Yuj was always the life of the party. With Gadot gone, he had been obviously lost and suffering; his disappearance seemed to have affected him more than anyone. So it stands to reason that he would be the happiest and most ecstatic now, right?

"Yuj...?" The blunet still did not move a muscle other than squeezing his eyes closed. "...Why don't you guys give us a minute?" Everyone silently agreed and began to make their way out. Lebreau and Maqui were very hesitant, but they did have another person to visit.

The door clicked shut and the room remained still. Gadot attempted to look into Yuj's face, but to no avail. After a long enough time had passed, the elder man started to shift, getting up from his spot to check on his silent companion.

"Don't," Yuj mumbled, words choked. When he had first entered the room, he couldn't believe his eyes. His best friend and mentor was okay. He was deeply relieved at the sight, but he was also very frightened. The usually dark skinned and large man looked so pale and small lying in that hospital bed. Gadot and Snow were always pillars of strength in the young man's mind. They were the only heroes he ever believed in. But now...

Gadot ignored Yuj's soft plea and his fogged mind's protests in favor of seeing if Yuj was okay. The kid was a lot more sensitive than he liked to be perceived. Dragging his partially numbed body away from the bed, the twenty-seven year old grabbed Yuj and embraced him. The younger struggled, but it only lasted moments before Gadot was fiercely hugged back. "I'm sorry."

"Don't you dare apologize!" shouted Yuj. "I just can't believe-"

"I know, man. I'm back."

Yuj pulled away, wiping the stubborn tears from his eyes and sniffing hard. "What the hell are you doing up? Get back in that bed," he commanded, chuckling and trying to be upbeat.

The burly man laughed as he was helped back onto the thin mattress. "Well, my best bud was ignoring me. Hurt my feelings a bit, ya know?" He meant it as a joke, but it didn't seem that Yuj felt that any of it was funny.

"I know... I just..." Yuj shook his head, dispelling all of his previous thoughts. "Where were you? What happened?"

Gadot's grip on the bed railing strengthened as he looked almost lost. "I don't know. I really don't. I remember nothing." Closing his eyes, Gadot tried to focus, but it was all blank. A hazy fog was all that was left in his mind in between the present and being taken. "No matter what it's just... nothing. But what happened with Hope? How'd you all find him?"

Yuj's gaze turned to the side. "We didn't. They took you guys to stop us from looking. They threatened to kill you if we didn't stop... so we did. We left Hope in their hands to save you. But I don't regret it." The man slumped down in a chair by his bedside, his expression oddly calm.

Gadot chose to leave that alone for the moment. "You know who took us?"

"Some woman named Castea and a bunch of her followers. They're a bunch of l'Cie after a crystal to bring back the Maker. Apparently only Hope can use it. He has his brand back and everything. We're trying to stop her and her group, but... we're not strong enough."

Gadot sighed, letting it all sink in, before a smirk crossed his face. "Yet." Yuj lifted a brow in confusion. "We're not strong enough yet. Nobody's a match for NORA."

Yuj smiled, his eyes a tad misty. "Right."

* * *

Hildough walked out of the room, much to Hope's surprise. His head was hung low before he saw that there were people in front of him, waiting to get in. "Hello, Director... and friends."

Opening his mouth to voice his curiosity, Hope began to think better of it before snapping his mouth shut. It was their business. "Olly okay?"

The tall man hesitated before nodding, his eyes drifting back to the now closed door. "He is fine. La Salle is... a different story."

Hope smiled. "Should we come back?"

"No, I am sure that they would enjoy your company. Young La Salle had some questions as well," stated Hildough before taking his leave.

The young director knocked firmly on the door and waited for an answer. When there wasn't one, Maqui burst in. "Maq!"

Nivien was sitting on Olly's side of the bed, leaning over him with her forehead against his. It was something Hope was used to seeing between the two. They were quite close, after all.

Yanking Maqui back to her side and giving him a scolding glance, Lebreau spoke. "We can come back..."

Sniffing, Nivien pulled back and stood, her wide smile of delight unmistakable. "No..." The ebony skinned woman wiped her eyes and stood straighter, composing herself. "... It's fine. Come on in."

Maqui didn't even blink before running over and glomping on the poor teen. "Dude, where ya been? Ya okay?"

"I think he'd be better if he could breathe, half pint," reprimanded Lebreau as she walked to his side.

Eyes widening, the goggled man jumped back from him like he was on fire. "Sorry, man." Confusion fell upon his expression as he saw Olly chuckling. Then he realized what his brain had temporarily missed. "Hey! I'm like an inch taller than you!"

Lebreau clapped him on the back. "You'll always be half-pint to me, Maq. It's great to have ya back, Olly."

"Thanks," he replied bashfully. "And I'm alright. I have a few bruised ribs, though...but it's nothing"

Lightning stared at Hope, baffled as to why he hadn't gone in yet. "What's up?"

Fine silver brows crinkled as he looked on pensively into the room. "It's not right for me to go in there. If I hadn't gotten-"

"No one thinks that, Hope. This was Castea's fault, no one else's. You didn't do anything to him."

Hope's expression hardened. _Oh, I did something. It was just a long while ago..._ "You said you have bruised ribs?" Entering the room, the director stood before Olly's bed, looking at his chest with concern.

Nivien spoke up at Hope's inquiry. "Yeah, the doctor said it was fairly recent."

 _What could have happened to them where most of them are in perfect health and they don't remember_ _anything_ _?_ "You're memory's all foggy too?"

Olly blinked a few times at the new question and he tried to think hard about it. "I... remember being in the ship... Someone started yelling about losing control... I..." The private bit his lip as he dug deeper into his mind, eyes focused on the wool blanket covering him. "...I fell... I hit my side really hard against a railing and... my head..." His hand then felt the back of his skull to find the large bump resting there. "I blacked out... then I remember sitting on a beach with my sister..." He smiled as he looked up at Nivien who had watery eyes. "...We were with our parents back on Cocoon... I also... recall smelling something really musty and..." He crinkled his nose in distaste. "It stank of death and... rotting flesh... there was a dim yellow light and..." The teen sighed and slumped back against the bed. His eyes shone disappointment, being unable to remember anything truly helpful. "I don't recall from there. Sorry."

"If you were hurt then... how are you..." Nivien stood perplexed, as did the rest of them. It was odd that the bumps and bruises Olly got months ago were still fresh. As if the injuries had occurred only hours ago.

"Enough about me," spoke Olly, getting fed up with all of the examinations and the questions that he couldn't answer. "How are you guys? Any news on Cocoon and freeing everyone? Speaking of freeing... how'd Hope get away? Was the mission successful or..." Olly asked Nivien, not even acknowledging Hope's existence.

Hope drew in a breath. "It doesn't matter-"

"Of course it does. I wanna know," he insisted. Olly took a moment and looked at everyone around him, noticing the nervous and serious faces. "What happened?"

Clearing his throat, Hope smiled. "I escaped, that's what happened." Directing the conversation elsewhere, Hope went on. "Cocoon is the same as usual. We haven't had much progress in freeing it and... we aren't sure if we will be able to after all."

Time passed with more information and theories being shared throughout the room. Sazh left shortly into the conversation, being called in on a work-related project. Lebreau left after a while as well, looking to return to Gadot's room.

"Hey, can I speak to Olly for a bit?" Maqui inquired.

"I think he needs his rest." Nivien was reluctant to leave her brother. She'd felt so alone without him. Since the fall, it had really been just the two of them. Sure, they had their friends and significant others, but they really only depended on each other. With having been the sole care taker of her brother for so long, and subsequently becoming so emotionally dependent on him, Nivien had been pretty much destroyed with his abduction.

Olly squeezed her hand in reassurance. "I'll be fine, sis. Stop being such a mother hen."

Mussing up his hair playfully, her gaze turned to Lightning. "I need to speak with Sergeant Farron anyway."

Lightning's brow rose, but she didn't question or protest and instead simply followed her out beside Hope.

When everyone was gone, Maqui turned to Olly. "I'm sorry-"

"Stop apologizing. Really, Maqui. You've apologized enough. Heck, you even explained yourself when I wasn't looking for an explanation. And if things went the way you said, which I don't doubt, then I would have done the same thing had I been in your position." The boy meant every word. He really wished he hadn't been unconscious for the whole ordeal. Instead of even choosing to hide or fight, he'd simply lost the decision by a bump on the head. "Now, is that all you wanted, Maq, 'cause I'm kinda feeling dizzy."

Maqui sighed as he ran his hand through his shaggy blond hair. "Do you blame Hope?"

"For what?"

"Your abduction." Maqui could tell that the tension between Hope and Olly was still there and if possible, had grown worse. The teen was incredibly icy to Hope throughout their entire visit. "Or is this still about Nivien?" Olly cursed, which actually threw Maqui off guard. Olly had quite the altar boy reputation. Maqui wasn't even sure he had ever heard the private cuss before.

"No, of course I don't blame him for this. And believe me, if I could, I would. But this is just a mixture of crappy magic, evil villain plots, and fate's sick ways. My hostility has everything to do with my sister's relationship with him."

"That was almost a year ago. You have-"

Olly's eyes blazed with fury as his head whipped back in the other's direction. "He promised her, Maqui. He promised her that he'd always be there. Here was his prime opportunity to prove that he wasn't a liar. She was alone. She had no one. I..." The teen choked on his words as his throat tightened painfully. His sister had suffered through enough in her life, spending most of it taking care of her kid brother. She was the only reason he was even alive. "He told her he loved her. Did you know that?"

Maqui let his eyes slip shut as he pursed his lips, contemplating his answer. The truth, for him, was always the best. "Yes."

The soldier was momentarily struck silent. "You did," he half yelled, astonished and outraged by this new discovery. "And you're still friends with that ass hole?"

"Things change, Olly. Feelings change." He never realized how much Hope and Nivien's breakup had affected Olly. He was always very sour when speaking of it, sure, but this was still news to him. "He didn't intentionally hurt-"

"I don't care! I hope he learned a lesson about real pain when he was taken. I think that's the best thing that could have come out of all of this. At least _Director Hope Estheim_ learned a lesson and got to know some of what us normal lower beings experience."

And thus, it was Maqui's turn to become enraged. "What the hell are you even saying?! As if you know real pain. What the hell have you experienced?" Olly began to speak only for Maqui to quickly shut him down. "You know what, Hope did experience real pain. More pain than you could even fathom. He was held for months in some ark, practically a cave, while he was tortured for hours on end every day." Blue eyes looked away, disgusted with his ranting friend. "I guess you can sleep with a smile on your face now. Hope learned his fucking lesson real well." Maqui slammed the door as he left the room, never looking back.

* * *

The lone three walked down the hall, a ways away from Olly's room. Taking a look at Lightning's carefully concealed expression, that was useless on him for he could see her uncertainty, and Nivien's hinting glances, Hope could tell that he wasn't wanted or needed in this conversation. Nonetheless, it was a horrible idea to leave Nivien and Lightning alone together to talk. He shuddered to think of all of the different ways their conversation could go. He really didn't want to find out which scenario would be right. "So, is there anything I could help you with, Nivien?"

Nivien bit her cheek as she heard her name slip from his lips. There was a time when she would have given anything to hear him say her name. "Nope." She kept her gaze steadily on Lightning. One glance at him would cause her resolve to crumble and she couldn't have that. She had to get this conversation out of the way as she'd been meaning to since the soiree. She had to move on.

He was definitely unwanted here. Jaw clenching, Hope began to walk away. "I'm going to go see Amodar on the status of the others then, all right? Call me when you're done, Light." _Way to set off a ticking time bomb. I really am an idiot._

Lightning glanced around, finding herself in a small, cozy waiting room. It was empty, for which she was grateful. The young woman had an idea on how this conversation was going to go and it was probably going to end in some bloodshed.

Wringing her hands, Nivien walked past Lightning, venturing deeper into the room. "Can we sit?"

Or not. Confused, Lightning took a seat across from the now sitting lieutenant. Probing blue orbs looked over Nivien. The woman looked so scared and nervous, her eyes flitting from place to place around the room, knee subtly shaking. It was unsettling to see this woman, who was usually so sure of herself, so confident, be so insecure. The only times she had seemed so vulnerable was when Olly was concerned. Maybe Lightning didn't know where this was going.

"I want... to apologize for the way I've behaved towards you," Nivien started, her nervousness not straying.

Lightning sat back in her chair, crossing her arms before her. "It's understandable, I guess."

Nivien smiled a small, unnerved smile, her eyes finally meeting the woman sitting across from her. She had gone over this conversation so many times in her mind, so how come this was so hard? She needed to just get through this and get back to her brother. With that as her goal, she pushed on. "You know by now, I'm sure, that Hope and I were together. And I know that you guys are... or are going to...well... maker, this is so awkward..."

The roseate could agree with that. She resisted the urge to smack her face into her palm. Apparently just because you intend to keep a relationship secret, doesn't mean that it's going to stop everyone from guessing and assuming that you're together.

"I still love him."

That obvious statement stopped Lightning's thoughts cold. Even though she knew that fact, it didn't make it any easier to hear. The woman in front of her had been _with_ Hope. She had felt and touched and been with Hope in some of the most intimate of ways. She knew Hope in ways Lightning didn't. And if Hope wanted, he could be back with her in a second.

"When we first got together, with me being the older, well respected soldier and Hope as the younger kid fresh out of school, everyone thought that he was the head over heels little puppy dog following me around, but... _I_ was the one that fell completely in love with him." Her slender hand was held over her heart, slightly dulled, unpolished nails digging into the fibers of her sweater. "He was so sweet and genuine. He wasn't like everyone else. Hope had seen so much of the world, so much evil, but he let it change him for the better. He became a better person because of...," hazel eyes flickered back to Lightning's hardened stare before finding her shoes and fumbling on, "...what you all went through. I loved that about him... I loved everything about him," Nivien admitted, laughing at the pain she felt stabbing into her when saying those words.

Lightning cleared her throat as she sat forward. "Why are you telling me this?" The question had been spoken softly, mostly due to her throat tightening as this conversation went on. She could feel her relationship with Hope slipping away as her sympathy for this woman grew.

Swallowing thickly, Nivien looked up from her clenched hands as her head rose. "Because I know now... No matter how much I loved him, it never changed how much he cared for you." The woman then stood, running a hand through her wavy, brown hair. "I should have seen it sooner. I think I did, but I just didn't want to admit..."

_Admit... what...?_

"That he was always in love with you and I wasn't enough to change that. You were always this legendary fighter, the savior of his life to him. But to me, you were a block of crystal. You were someone who was most likely not even going to wake up in this century. So I didn't take the threat seriously."

A pregnant pause followed, leading Nivien to sit once more, fidgeting uncomfortably while Lightning refused to do the same. Hope had really put a spell on Nivien, it appeared. A spell that didn't wear off or even diminish with a breakup.

"I'm pretty sure you guys are together... and trust me it kills me to think..."

Lightning didn't object. It wasn't that she didn't wish to, she was the one demanding it all be kept secret, but the words would not form. The damned sentence 'we aren't together' or 'I don't care for him like that' wouldn't come out. Maybe there was a reason for that.

"...but I know that I deserve to be with him."

Sharp eyes shot in her direction.

"You think you know him? You think you care for him?"

Again the words wouldn't come. Not even when Nivien's gaze became harsh and accusatory. Not even when her mouth was set into a firm frown and tears prickled at the brunette's eyes.

"You haven't been here. You hardly know him." Nivien scoffed at Lightning, causing the younger woman's irritation to grow. "You don't know him at all. You weren't here as he dealt with the hatred and bullying of those who only saw him as the destroyer of Cocoon. You weren't here when he was killing himself night after night to be good enough for his father. It wasn't your arms that held a shaking Hope, filled with fear and anger and grief after his father passed." Tears began to fall down her cheeks, the saltiness hitting her lips as her eyes bore into Lightning's. "It wasn't you who felt his tears running down your shoulders. It wasn't you who felt complete pain as you heard his cries and then shuddered the next day when he tried to say he was all right. You haven't been here for him so stop acting like he's yours to protect, to save... to-to love. He's not yours!" ended Nivien in a shout. As the words echoed back to her, the woman's eyes widened. That had most certainly not been the way she'd wanted that conversation to go. Her mind had apparently abandoned her logic and preparation and instead had followed her stubborn emotions.

At this, Lightning found her words, and her courage to say them. "You talk as if I abandoned him. As if I chose to leave him in favor of staying locked in my crystal prison." Nivien sniffed, but otherwise remained silent, her brows furrowed. "You want to talk about being there for him? You weren't there for him when he lost his mother. You weren't there for him when he went on a revenge mission against his mom's 'murderer'. You weren't there for him when he became a l'Cie or when that led him to becoming a monster to be hunted by an entire planet." The sergeant got up and knelt down before her elder, eyes staring deeply into the other's down turned ones. "You weren't there for him as we faced the end of our lives together." Lightning stood, ready to leave this obnoxious woman behind her.

"Don't hurt him."

Lightning sighed as she stopped, turning back to the woman with annoyance written all over her.

"I'll leave you both alone. Just... don't hurt him."

* * *

Hope and Lightning exited the car as they got home. It'd been a long day. Hope's wound stung and he couldn't seem to keep himself from scratching his brand. Lightning was contemplating how to get that horrid scent of hospital disinfectant out of her nose and that conversation out of her head.

Nodding to his guards at his door, Hope let them both into his home. As he shut the door behind him, Lightning spoke.

"Play for me."

Hope's brow rose as he paused in shedding his coat, mind wondering where the sudden request came from. "What?"

She'd missed too much. Lightning had missed out on so much of Hope's life. As much as she loathed it, Nivien's words had hit home. She hadn't been there for him. She didn't know much about him. The right to be with him was not hers. "Your violin... play it for me." After asking, she walked to Hope's room, assuming that was where he kept his instrument.

Standing there for a moment or two, limbs still frozen mid motion in relieving himself of his jacket, Hope tried to ease the surprise and curiosity within him. As he soon joined Lightning in the room, he looked at her with caution. Something was up. "Why?"

"Because I want to hear you," she stated simply, arms crossed against her chest as she sat on his bed.

Nervously, Hope scratched the back of his head. It'd been awhile since he'd played – a long while. "It's been forever and a day since I've even held that thing."

Lightning only rolled her eyes at his pathetic attempt to deny her request. "I don't care if you sound like rocks in a blender." She sighed, letting her arms fall to her sides, guard somewhat coming down as she tried her best to be as supportive and girlfriendish as she could be. _Which I know isn't much._ But she was trying. "Just... play for me."

He watched as she weakened her defenses, wondering again what was up. But he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. This was the kind of thing he'd been waiting for. It was a chance to deepen their relationship, if only a little. His lips curved into a smile at the thought of Lightning trying to get closer to him. "I'd be honored."

Grinning smugly, Lightning sat back, watching Hope sift through the contents of his closet to find his violin case. The poor thing was heavily covered in dust and Hope choked and coughed on the puff that he inhaled. He coughed for a full minute until the dust particles finally settled in his lungs, Lightning snorting at the spectacle.

"Yeah, real funny," Hope stated dryly. His gaze shifted back to the instrument as he opened the case. As his emerald hues caught sight of the musical mechanism, he froze. Shiny, sharp teeth worked at his bottom lip as all of the memories associated with his beloved violin flowed through his mind.

Her playfulness died out as her face fell into its far more usual expression of seriousness. Hope was staring at the violin with such a look of pain and sorrow that it was heart wrenching. "Hope?"

"I'm sorry, I..." The teen slammed the case closed, it just centimeters from catching his fingertips. "I can't."

 _"His mom taught him..."_ Cass' words echoed in her mind, reminding her of why this might be a challenging affair. "Your mom...?"

His head jerked up at the question. "What?"

"Your mom taught you, right?"

He nodded absently, his mind fairly fogged. "How'd you..."

Lightning sighed as she pushed the dirty case farther on the bed to make room. With very little effort she then pulled him down to sit. His body, lacking grace, followed the limb that had been yanked in her direction. She steadied him, concern crinkling the corners of her eyes as she saw that look again. It was that lost and abandoned puppy look he'd had when they met and when she learned of his mother's untimely demise. "Cass told me." The young director didn't respond, leading Lightning to grip his hand tightly, noticing the tenseness of his body. "Don't you ever play to remember her?" Lightning's inner self laughed at her own question. She never went near anything that reminded her of her parents, if she could help it. Expecting Hope to do differently was hypocritical.

"I used to," Hope murmured. He could clearly remember the day his mother first started to teach him. She was so excited, her expression elated, as his small fist held his first bow. Hope could still remember the electricity he felt in that moment, as if he was meant to play. He could also remember the joy in making his mom so happy. "It was one of the only things she ever fought my dad on."

He spoke so softly she had to strain to hear him. "Hm?"

"My dad thought it wasn't fitting of a man to do something as trivial as play an instrument. Especially a man of the respectable Estheim family." His jaw clenched hard, his teeth grinding together painfully. Until all so suddenly, he relaxed. His expression softened and his body loosened up. "But she fought him on it and she won. She taught me everything she knew about the violin and every song she'd ever played. And when I had mastered everything she knew, we started learning more complicated music... together," Hope beamed, his gaze wistful.

Lightning's lips pressed into a firm line. She contemplated things for a moment as she held his hand tighter. She had always hated comforting people. Even this was making her feel uncomfortable, but it also felt very right. It was almost easy to ignore her discomfort in the face of helping Hope work through his pain and find peace. She cherished every moment with him.

"After the fall... I didn't play again. Dad said it was too painful to hear it, that it would remind him too much of mom. I obeyed... until the anniversary of her death. I snuck a song in while my dad was supposed to be at work. I finished it just in time to catch my dad in my doorway. I expected him to be furious. But when I looked at his face... he was smiling and crying. He told me I could play whenever I wanted after that." He sniffed and wiped his running nose with his sleeve. "It didn't hurt me to play. I felt more connected to her by playing. Even though she was gone, I felt her with me."

"Then how come it's been so long since you've played?"

"Dad died."

Confusion turned within her as he pulled his hand from hers and stiffened again.

"I didn't really feel like playing after that."

The soldier nodded and met his sorrowful eyes, conveying that she understood and would not force him to play. She hugged him, a bit awkwardly she'd admit. "I'd still like to hear you. In the future… when it's not so painful."

He hugged her back then, very grateful for her words. "I will. I want to play for you."

He surprised her by pulling away and immediately going back to opening his instrument's case. "It's beautiful, Hope," Lightning commented as she saw the violin. She said this and meant it, though she had nothing to compare it to. This was the closest she had been to a violin in her life. It was the closest she'd been to any instrument, really.

Hope smiled at her compliment. Pain and fear slipped away and morphed into nervousness. He was going to be playing... in front of Lightning... after such a long hiatus from his wooden companion. _Dear Etro, I don't want to mess this up. What am I going to play?!_ But as his fingers graced his bow and the smooth exterior of his oldest friend, all his anxiety ebbed away. It felt so very right to be reunited with one of his greatest passions in life. He knew what he was going to play too. The silveret could practically see his mother sitting before him, begging him to play her favorite piece again. _Paganini's Caprice No. 24_ had always been her most requested piece, above all else.

The stun slowly left her as she sat and watched Hope stand in front of her, readying himself to play. She was intrigued and oddly... excited to hear him. She'd never listened to a violinist before. And as she heard his first few notes float into the air, she wondered why she had never wanted to. It was captivating, to say the least. Hope appeared to have lost himself, and it was beautiful to see. His body moved so elegantly, yet with such control. Nimble fingers played along the strings, his bow gliding along them with such energy and conviction.

The tune played through her ears and her mind and she found herself closing her eyes, sighing as she too lost herself, enraptured in the sheer beauty of Hope's music. She'd never had the privilege of hearing something quite like it, though she'd never had the desire to before. Music was a luxury she'd never become very acquainted with. But listening to this was like listening to a part of Hope's soul. A very amazing, wonderful, and dazzling part of his soul. And she found herself falling for Hope even more.

It was like traveling through time, yet knowing that everything was as it was. He could still feel Lightning in the room with him, her presence unmistakable. However, at the same time, it was like he was fourteen again, playing beside his mother as she'd pretend to miss a note so he could look like the better violinist. Or like he was fifteen or sixteen again when he would play for his father when Bartholomew got off work. Or even when he was seventeen and had been pleaded with by Nivien to perform for her until he finally caved. All those memories ranging from small to precious came back as he produced the familiar notes from his instrument. The feeling was magical.

As the last notes died off in the air around them, Hope opened his eyes and let himself relax. Dropping his bow and violin to his side, Hope strode back over to the case, intent on putting them away right away. After he'd finished playing, Hope's confidence had vanished and made room for his insecurity. Lightning had yet to say anything and in light of this Hope had never once looked her way.

When a good amount of time had passed, Hope finally sucked in a breath along with some courage and turned to her. The sight immediately softened him up.

Lightning was startled by a hand softly ghosting over her cheek, causing her to open her eyes. She'd apparently gotten far more lost in his music then she'd thought. Hope's serene face was the first thing she saw, him being crouched before her with his lips in a small smile. The tears that had tracked down her face took her a little longer to notice. In fact, it wasn't until Hope wiped away a stray one that she even realized she had cried at all.

"If my music was bad enough to reduce you to tears, you could have just told me to stop," Hope joked.

Lightning clicked her tongue and poked him in the forehead. "Don't be ridiculous. It was wonderful."

Hope's smile grew as he was positively glowing. He knew Lightning's opinion would mean a lot, but not necessarily that much. He was elated... until Lightning turned away from him, a frown pulling at her lips.

 _What are you doing with me?_ That was one of the biggest questions that occupied her mind for hours on end. Hope was such a tremendous person. His heart and soul were so pure. He had so much love and passion to give whomever he wanted. So why did he pick her? There was nothing special about her. "I'm sorry, Hope."

"What? Why?"

"Because this can't happen, that's why."

Lightning's harsh words and equally harsh tone rang in his ears as he stood. What exactly did she mean by 'this'?

Hope pulled back from her and Lightning let out a slow breath. "I just... wish you wouldn't waste your time with me. I can never return all that you feel for me... give me... it wouldn't be fair. You deserve so much more. You deserve _better_..." That was a constant feeling she always had while she was with him. There was the happiness and strong adoration she felt of course, but she also felt that she was never good enough for him. And she never would be.

He honestly didn't know how to react to that. He knew to some extent that her self-deprecation and self-loathing ran deep, but this... For years he thought that he was the unworthy one. She had always been the goddess lost among the stars that he could never touch. To him, Lightning would always be a goddess, whether she agreed or not. And he was not about to lose her because she thought that he was too good for her. _How utterly absurd._

Quickly collecting his thoughts as Lightning stood to leave the room, Hope grabbed her shoulder and turned her back to him. "I don't want anyone else, Light. I'd rather live the rest of my days alone than without you by my side."

"Don't say stuff like that."

"Why not?" interrupted Hope, his hands coming up to cup her face. "It's true."

Pulling herself from his grasp, Lightning growled, a hand pushing his chest to keep him back. "Because I don't deserve to be with you!" she shouted, raw emotion in her eyes. It was startling to see, because even when she allowed her emotions to show, it was usually controlled vulnerability. "You're so intelligent, Hope. You should be with someone that can understand how you think and what you do. I can barely comprehend a fourth of the work you do in that shop or in your office. I'm not smart. I was a high school drop out for Lindzei's sake, okay? And you should have someone beside you that's at least half as talented as you. I'm a soldier. I can fight." She raised her hands in the air before dropping them, her distraught gaze turning somber as her voice lowered. "That's all I'm good for. And you've got this heart that's so big and beautiful while you're willing to give away all you're love. I don't deserve you're love. I can't reciprocate it, I just can-"

Silencing her with a deep kiss, Hope embraced her. Lightning was usually very logical and realistic. But this had to be the biggest load of crap he had ever heard come from her. He pulled back from her, immediately feeling colder. "How do you feel about me?"

"What?" she questioned breathily, now dazed from the kiss.

"How do you feel about me?"

Lightning shook her head lightly, clearing it as she registered his question. "That's not im-"

"Just answer me."

Swallowing, azure orbs met unwavering green. He wanted an answer - that was clear. She would give him that and be honest even if it killed her. "The more I'm around you... the more I feel for you..." she took a moment to clear her throat and straighten her posture, "...the more I realize that I'll do anything for you. And that terrifies me to no end. But it also excites me, amazes me. I thought that I wasn't capable of feeling this way..." She blinked rapidly as her words baffled her. It was true. It was so very true.

He gave an excited, watery smile. "I want you, Lightning Farron, and only you. You are my strength and my hope. I wouldn't give you up for the world." He took an experimental step closer, noting as her previously resistant hand fell back to her side. "I don't care if you think you're unworthy of me. I really don't." He shook his head, emphasizing his point. "It's a load of crap," he stated with a breathy chuckle. "You are a beautiful person, Light, and I wish you could see that..."

Her eyes met the floor as her arms crossed her chest, guard forming. His words, no matter how charming, were not going to suddenly change how she saw herself.

"I love you." Lightning's eyes shot back to his, her lips parting. "Forever and always." His hands came up to rest on the sides of her head as he kissed her forehead. "Mind..." His hands then slid down her arms to gently uncross them. "body..." Her arms came to her sides while his hands slipped into hers, fingers intertwining. "and soul."

Her heart skipped a beat as her breath caught. This was not the first time he had declared his love for her, but it seemed to be filled with more passion than she could even comprehend. Without a moment more she took his lips in hers, not feeling so unbearably alone anymore.

* * *

Maqui laid sprawled across the couch in the Academy's library, a thick book sitting on his chest as he reread the thing for what had to be the third time. This time was different, however, for it held his rapt attention. Ever since he got back from the hospital he'd immediately set back to work with a newfound vigor. He was even more determined to catch those horrendous l'Cie. Sure, his friends had been returned, and in better condition than they had hoped, but it didn't change the fact that they had all still been stolen from him in the first place. That same guilt resided within him from surviving the attack. The only way he could truly redeem himself was by finding Castea.

Rubbing his eyes to wipe away the coming exhaustion, Maqui read a sentence for the fourth time, wondering if what he read could even be remotely correct. He was translating ancient Pulsian, after all.

"Yo, Maq," greeted Cass as he walked in, striding toward the elder man. "You're here early."

"No, I'm here late," he replied dismissively, his eyes far too focused on his work. "Hey, I think..." His body jolted up, some of the books at his feet falling to the floor with the sudden movement. Blue eyes widened immensely as they focused on the words he'd just read. "Cass, get your ass over here and read this."

Bushy brown brows rose in intrigue as he lazily made his way over. "Something interesting this ti-ooph" Maqui thrust the open book against Cass' stomach as he approached, the blond's body practically shaking. Giving the goggled man a glare, Cass sat beside him before turning to the particular entry. His eyes scanned over the words, deducing their meaning. "That doesn't make..." Cass sucked in his cheeks, finding the passage particularly tricky.

Maqui practically pounced on him. "That's what I thought, but if you use Casiavoni's translation and then clarify it with Moric's, you get..."

"Oh... Holy Etro, Maq!"

"I know."

"We have to be a hundred percent sure of this though," spoke Cass, caution and a glimmer of excitement in his voice. "If we're wrong, we could end up starting an entirely new war. But if we're right... then we know which fal'Cie is behind this..."

"Belphagor," whispered Maqui.

"And that would mean..."

Maqui jumped off the couch, hands immediately groping his pockets in search of his comm. "I'm calling Hope."

* * *

She woke up, a serene calm heavy within her. It was morning, as she could tell by the sun shimmering in through the blinds. Her body shifted in bed, automatically seeking to be closer to the warmth beside it. Hope was still asleep, his face reflecting peaceful dreams. For this, she was grateful. His arm was wrapped around her waist while his face was turned toward her, his nose buried in her roseate locks.

Lightning lay there for a while, her mind recalling the previous night. Their kisses had been so tender and sweet, yet raw and passionate. They'd spent hours locked in each other's warm embrace, kissing, touching, and just holding each other until they had eventually nodded off. The night had gone well. Hope had relaxed and so had she. It had been as if Castea and the whole fal'Cie conflict hadn't even existed. A content smile graced her lips as she thought about the affectionate words Hope had whispered throughout their heated moments. They hadn't gone too far, but just far enough. Neither were quite ready for that step.

The night had been nothing short of wondrous, but she couldn't get how practiced his caresses felt out of her mind. His experience in this field bothered her. She couldn't help but wonder if he had touched others exactly like this. If he had given Nivien such entrancing caresses and intoxicating kisses. Or even with anyone else he'd deemed fit to court in her absence.

 _No, Lightning, that's not fair and you know it._ Hope and Nivien were over. They both said it. He was with her and her alone. Lightning let out a slow sigh as she settled in beside him more. This... _cuddling_ thing, although new to her, seemed to come naturally. Her mind was still a little resistant to the action, but her body put up no protests.

Ear resting against his chest, the soldier calmed all thought, listening for that soothing heartbeat that could always put her to rest. But when that awaited thrum didn't come, she jolted up, extremely alarmed.

Hope's heart had stopped.

* * *

Hope stood confused. Something was very, very off and he didn't know what to do about it. He knew he was dreaming, he was in the middle of the Agora in Palumpolum, so that was obvious. The weird thing about the situation was that he was oddly aware and too conscious for it to be a dream. He had a very bad feeling about this.

"Hello, Hope."

Hearing that dreaded voice, the silveret spun around to face the terror of his life. Castea stood before him, a cocky smirk upon her wolfish features as her hands rested against her hips. "Will you get out of my head already," he yelled, frustration evident in his voice. She would never leave him be. "This is more than just a dream, isn't it." His tone died down as his fists clenched.

"Of course it is more than an insignificant dream." The woman waved a hand before her, dismissing the comment. Her posture straightened, a smug grin mocking her target. "This is a creation of mine made with my l'Cie powers." With a swish of her hand, a wooden chair appeared beside her. She casually sat down, her right leg crossing her left and her hands folding together. "We're inside your mind, actually. This is a place from your memory. Your home city, correct?"

Hope's eyes grazed over the place, noting that everything was exactly as he remembered Palumpolum once was. He could even smell the paint fumes of Eddie's Paint Emporium that lied just a few feet away. Although the place was completely empty, save for them, it was home. "How...?"

"It's truly amazing what you can do when you tap into the power inside. The true power." Her hand slowly closed into a fist before her, grasping the power as if it were physically there in the air. "There's so much there to harness. So many things that you six couldn't have even imagined attempting all those years ago."

She was bragging, simple as that. But if it were true, if she really did hold all that power and was that skilled with it, how long would it take him to get that powerful? How long would it take to defeat Castea? "What's the plan now, Castea? Trap me in my mind until I say yes and help you on your quest to destroy the world?" the young man questioned, contempt clear on his face.

"I'd like to think of this as just a nice neutral meeting. One without weapons, powers, or your little guard dog to get in our way."

"Neutral?" His face scrunched up in disagreement. "I feel a big disadvantage here." As Hope's gaze met Castea, he was met with an interesting sight. The blonde was on her knees, expression solemn and... apologetic?

"Please," she murmered to the ground. Her bony hands that were spread out on the concrete clenched.

"What?"

"Please. Please help us." She raised her head to stare into Hope's eyes, the pitiful expression completely uncharacteristic of the prideful woman. "Don't you want to see a new world? A world where everyone can be happy and free. No more conflict, no more pain. A world where you can be reunited with your loved ones. Don't you want that?"

It was exactly what he wanted. The offer was entirely too tempting. At a different point in his life, he probably would have taken her up on that offer. But not everything was as it seemed. This new world was not the answer to life's problems. It couldn't possibly give all that was promised. Who's to say that it wouldn't become just as corrupt as the current one. And Castea was not a poor pleading woman that just wanted a better world for everyone. She was a power hungry villain that wanted a world to rule. "And why would I help you? After everything you've done to me, why the hell would I help you?"

"I apologize, Hope. Truly, I am sorry." There was a glint in her eyes that conflicted directly with her statement, but she tried her best to sound sincere. She even went as far as to sound guilty and choked up. She hated sinking so low as to grovel beneath some boy's feet, but she had a task to complete. She would do as her master demanded of her. "The torture... was unfortunately necessary to get your brand... but the way we treated you afterwards was entirely the wrong approach." She looked away as if reflecting, pain etched into her features. "I've just always had to resort to using pain and fear to get what I want. Ever since..."

That part was probably true. Hope licked his lips before shaking her words out of his head. "Oh, well if that's the case," he retorted sarcastically.

Her brow twitched. It was a minute action, but still visible. "I'm try-"

Striding forward to the kneeling woman, Hope looked down at her. She looked far smaller than he'd seen her as, a little more human, but still too powerful. "You think that by saving me from Aida I'm going to immediately trust you and see your side of things? That I'm just going to betray everyone and everything and kill the planet?"

"I also sent home your old flame's little brother and your muscular friend. Your whole team was given back to you, returned in the same condition as when they were plucked from their ship." She still didn't agree with that, either. It would have been much more effective to send them home in groups. And in pieces.

Hope was very grateful for their return. There was less blood on his hands and his friends were safe, but she was the one who put them in danger in the first place. He took a breath. "And I thank you for that, but it doesn't change anything."

A light chuckle fell through the air as she stood, wiping the dust off her robe. "It took a lot of my power, I hope you know. I kept them frozen in time. For almost the entire time they were gone, they never even aged past maybe a quarter of a day."

"Then how did they dream," the young director asked, his curiosity getting the better of him. He looked up to meet her eyes. It was then that he realized how close they were. Like two friends chatting together. Or two people who were so close to killing each other, but were unable to.

The woman's smirk crawled back onto her face, her usual smugness making a reappearance. She'd practiced this power. She knew its quirks and limitations well. "Apparently when your body is put through a time stop for long enough, your mind falls into a dream state. It's quite like stasis, I imagine. It's most likely a fail-safe to preserve the mind's sanity while the body is in an indefinite standstill."

The teen sighed. "Why can't you just stop this? Why do you want this new world so badly?"

"Why don't you?" The fierceness returned to her gaze, causing him to flinch ever so slightly. "Why are you so intent on standing by 'your people'?" She walked closer to him until they were standing face to face, her voice soft, but still strong and forceful. "You are nothing but a pariah to them. Your people don't want you. Those Pulsians don't want you. But us… why not join those who see you as a deity? Come with me where you will not only be accepted, but _glorified_. Haven't you been in enough pain at the hands of these people?"

Hope blinked a few times, the words sinking in. He knew it would be this way. The moment he became a l'Cie, he became a target. But who was the worst hunter in all of this? Who was the person that went after not only him, but his friends and Lightning? His gloved fingers curled into fists at his sides once again, power surging within him. He was done listening to Castea. He didn't want to understand anymore. "Get away from me," Hope shouted, his hand flying out with a waterga spell.

Castea ducked the water that came in one long, horizontal slice through the air, soon cutting sharply and precisely into the building behind her. She looked back to see the damage. If her calculations were correct, she had been a mere two seconds from decapitation when she leapt to the floor. She was shocked and bewildered. _He's not supposed to be able to do that in here..._

He heaved in a breath, the spell having exhausted him. "I will never join you. I can't even stand you. After everything you've done to me... and to my friends... and to Light..." Tears stung his eyes, but he would not allow them to fall. There would be no more weakness shown in the face of Castea. "The only person causing me pain is you."

Snarling, the woman stood back up. "You will regret this decision. You _will_ get the crystals, and I will force your hand if I have too."

"You can try, but I'm not going to help you. No matter what."

"I wouldn't be so sure if I were you," she spat, temper flaring. "What if I went after your precious city? What if your whole city were to go up in flames? What if there were no people to save?" She cocked her head to the side, grinning as she knew she had hit a weak spot. The kid was full of weak spots. He was practically full of holes that she could jump through. He cared too much. He was weak. "I will win. It's what I do. Resist me anymore and I promise you," she bared her teeth, glaring at him viciously, nothing but honest words spewing from her mouth like venom, "it'll be a blood bath."

 _I will not cower before you like everyone else. You will not win. I won't let you._ "No," he growled. "I won't be your puppet."

Castea grit her teeth in frustration, before a slow grin began to creep into her expression. Hope didn't like that look, not one bit. It was as if she liked his decision.

"As you wish."

And with that, he woke up.


	20. Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "As you Wish."

_Fire and ash fell all around us. It was utter chaos and destruction. The people we passed cried out in desperation, trying to survive. Their eyes were filled with such fear and despair, but I never let myself stray. My thoughts and actions were solely on you. My hand's grip on yours was all I allowed myself to feel. As long as you were with me, as long as you were safe, nothing else mattered. The beat of your heart is all I live for..._

* * *

"We have to be completely sure about this, Maq," warned Cass for yet a third time as his companion tried unsuccessfully to get ahold of Hope. "Still not picking up?"

This was too important. Far too important. He had to reach Hope. Maqui knew exactly what Cass was so worried about, but the teen didn't need to keep prattling on about it. Did he think that he wanted to start another war? But this could mean finding and defeating Castea. This could mean taking down the fal'Cie behind all of this. Hope could use the crystal without worrying about the enemy's desires. Snow could wake up. "Ugh, I'm trying again." Before the elder was able to dial once more, the cell flew from his hand, a bullet piercing straight through the device and causing it to fly into the wall.

"Sorry, boys," came a rather gruff female voice from the entrance to the Academy library. A toned and lean woman stood there, a smirk across her face as she glanced at the man beside her.

Maqui's eyes widened as he took an involuntary step back. "Who..."

Cass moved forward, golden triple barrel revolver trained on the unwelcome newcomers. "Who are you and what do you want?" the brunet demanded.

The woman only continued to grin as she began to walk toward the two. Before she could take three steps however, Cass pulled the trigger twice, aiming right between the eyes of the intruder.

A hefty blade swung through the air, blocking the bullets from their target and causing them to ricochet away. "I don't think so, little man." The grey haired man accompanying the woman pulled his sword back at his side as he gained a fighting stance.

Maqui's heart began to thump harshly in his chest as he looked upon the two with fear in his eyes. He had nothing to fight with since his weapon was up in his shop. The NORA member cursed himself for not being prepared. Blue eyes glanced at Cass for a moment, seeing the courage and strength that the teen possessed. Cass was ready and willing to fight.

"They're Castea's men," Cass whispered quickly, seeing the brand above the woman's brow and the one on the man's hand. "We're no match for them, especially since you don't have your gun. We have to get out of here."

Maqui's fists tightened. These were the people that had stolen his friends. _These are the bastards that..._ Flashes of his humiliating, degrading, and painful beating came to his mind. _I will not run and hide this time._

"Hey!" All eyes turned to the left side entrance of the library just before two chakrams were flung in the enemy's direction. The large woman ducked one as the man swiped the other with his weapon. "Need a little assistance?" The Pulsian jumped to catch her chakrams as they came back, soon tossing Maqui a gunblade. She then ran before the two men, weapons at the ready before her. Looking at the two l'Cie with abhorrence, Zalera found she recognized the woman. In fact, it hadn't been that long since she had killed her. "I don't believe you belong here."

* * *

Hope jerked forward, now awake as he sat up, sweat dripping from his brow. He'd known it had all been a dream, but everything had been so real. His thoughts were scattered as he tried to focus on his and Castea's conversation and her parting words that she had spoken with such passion. _"As you wish."_ His body trembled as those words reverberated through his body. _No, it was all real. She's going to-_

"Hope!" Lightning shouted, immediately pulling him close and checking his pulse. She thought he was gone... "What happened?" One minute everything had been peaceful and the next he wasn't breathing.

"I..." Heaving in a few much needed breaths, the teen tried to speak. Lightning looked panicked and it threw him for a moment. He thought that it had all been in his mind. Did something happen to her too? "Are you... okay?"

Lightning quirked a brow. "Me? You were the one that didn't have a pulse a minute ago. I was performing CPR when you just suddenly woke up and nearly threw me from the bed."

Hope blinked at the new information. Apparently Castea had wanted to make sure that their conversation wouldn't be interrupted. She'd frozen him in time just like she had with the others. "We don't have time for this. Listen, Light. I think that they're going to-"

A loud thunderous boom came from the distance, silencing all in the room as the whole house shook in its wake. It was already starting.

* * *

Screams and shouts. Explosions and gunshots. Dead bodies and lost souls. That was the scene as smoke rose into the air, masking the city as it was quickly being torn apart. Buildings crumbled as missiles shot through them, turning the inhabited structures to rubble. Bodies of civilians and soldiers alike laid in the streets, their blood mixing on the pavement. Havoc and turmoil ruled Academia, and it had only been twenty minutes.

"You shouldn't be out here, Gadot!" Yuj tried to push him back towards the hospital, but he knew it was no use. The stubborn man didn't want to go.

"I'm not going to sit back and watch this city fall." Another large explosion went off behind them, nearly sending them both to the ground. Windows shattered from the nearby building, glass shards falling around them. "This can't be happening."

Ships, dozens of them, hovered in the sky. Some dropped off men that were now shooting and killing innocent people. Other ships shot off their artillery at buildings, sending most to the ground. Yuj didn't understand it. _What the hell is going on?_ It was like the Hanging Edge all over again. The screams of the dying purge victims filled his ears once again, the traumatic event still existing as a very large stain on his psyche. All those people NORA had tried to save just died. The mistakes of the past were doomed to repeat.

"Watch out!"

Suddenly Yuj found himself shoved to the ground as Gadot began to take on one of the enemy. The blunet watched in a daze, noticing the mark on the man's chest that was exposed above his shirt.

"You bastards. I'm not letting you get away with what you've done." Gadot shot at the man, but the bullets bounced off of his invisible shield.

Smirking, the male Pulsian brought out his own gun, aiming it toward Gadot. "I think I liked you better asleep."

Gadot's eyes flared with fury as he gritted his teeth. Bringing his gun back up, he prepared to fire, only to find that he wouldn't need to.

The l'Cie had no time to even cry out before a sharp blade pierced his skull from behind. Yuj yanked the knife back out, letting the lifeless man fall to the ground. "Are you just going to stand there?"

"Yuj! Gadot!" Both turned to spot Nivien, Olly, and a few other soldiers approaching. "Those are Sanctum ships," shouted Nivien over the roar of explosions and gunfire. "Are we now at war with Sanctum City?"

Yuj's eyes fell to the man he had just slain, taking in the brand peeking out from his collar. "I think this is the same war we've been fighting for a while now." He turned back to the group, face impassive. "That's a l'Cie."

"They're working with them?" Olly's eyes went wide as he ducked a shot and a soldier fell behind him.

Nivien took aim and shot the shooter in the forehead with her gunblade, seething as her target had just attempted to take out her brother. "Appears so. Orders were to get all civilians and injured to the bunker and try to drive these guys out. There was nothing about who the enemy was, but that doesn't seem hard to deduce." She then gripped Olly's shoulder, pulling him towards her. "You okay, little brother?"

His hand tightened on his weapon as he attempted to steel his resolve. He was a soldier. A soldier was trained to fight in these conditions. A soldier who didn't fight, was a dead one. "All good, Lieutenant."

Nivien looked to her brother with confusion before Gadot clapped Olly on the back, the large man sneaking in a small pep talk. "That's right, soldier. Let's give these guys hell, huh? They aren't gonna just expect us to sit back and take it, right?"

"Right," confirmed Olly with a nod and a determined smile.

"Anyone hear a status on the director?" asked Nivien. _It's been about him this whole time. Of course they're after him._

Yuj let out a chuckle, attempting to slip back into his usual self and kill his painful memories. "I wouldn't worry about Hope too much. Lightning's not gonna let him outta her sight anytime soon."

A large ship then pulled up over the groups' heads, its huge body blocking out the sun above it and the propellers whirring loudly. A dozen men shot down from its hold, dropping down around the group. And like that, the battle began.

* * *

Catching his Airwing as it swung back towards him, Hope watched his opponent fall to the ground, Lightning soon stabbing the man in the chest to finish him off. There was a small lull then in which the young director took the opportunity to take in the scene around him. The incredulous state of the city, his city, caused him to sink to his knees, gunblade scraping across the pavement as it too came to the ground.

Academia was being torn apart. Its structures and its people were dying. And it was his fault. He'd denied Castea. She'd given him one last proposal, and he'd spat in her face. This was her gift, a dead city, in return for his rejection. She was keeping her promise.

Lightning's calls broke him out of his ever darkening thoughts, causing him to pick himself and his gunblade up in time to defend himself against an oncoming attacker. Shutting down his thoughts on the city's condition and his guilt, Hope focused on staying alive, keeping Lightning in sight, and rescuing who he could. He was done losing people.

The sergeant exhaled heavily as she saw Hope quickly stand and parry his attacker's blows. For a moment, it looked like he had given up, but she shouldn't have expected such from Hope. Pink brows furrowed as she felt a soft drop on her cheek. Quickly swiping it away with her finger, she then looked at the powdery grey smeared on the digit's pad. Azure orbs looked up as more powdery flakes fell upon her, ashes drifting down from above. The buildings were shedding almost as much ash as they did smoke, the billowing black seeming to block out the sun.

As completely horrifying as it all was, this was familiar territory to a soldier. Academia was now a battleground. Although this was their home, this wasn't anything new to Lightning. After all, Cocoon had become a battleground before its plunge into crystallization.

Hope grasped Lightning's hand as he tried to pull her away, wishing to get to where there were more soldiers and _hopefully_ more friends.

Lightning flinched at the sudden contact, her reflex causing her to almost violently pull back from him. The teen stumbled back a bit from the stun. "S-sorry," was all she could say as she noticed the wounded expression on his face. They were in the middle of a fight and she hadn't expected such an action. She hadn't meant to be so harsh.

_"Feeling a little self-conscious?"_

Stiffening at the words, the sergeant immediately recognized the voice. _Since when does she invade_ my _mind?_

_"I've been in here for a while, darling. You didn't know?"_

Lightning snarled as her eyes searched desperately around her, surveying her surroundings for the villainess.

_"How could I have ever gotten something past you?"_

Unaware of the telepathic conversation Lightning had gotten caught in, Hope turned away, hurt by the small rejection. _I thought we were past this._ He shook it off, however. This was not the time nor place. Before he could turn back to his companion and continue with his goal, Hope was stopped by a muffled cry. It sounded like a little girl. As he turned towards the general direction of the voice's origin, Hope found that it was indeed a young girl. She was stuck in an overturned vehicle, her palms beating against the glass of the back window. He ran to her, leaving Lightning to stand there.

A sharp intake of breath came from the woman as her eyes caught her target. Castea stood inside a building that was now missing its head from the explosion it had taken not ten minutes before.

_"You going to fight me this time?"_

* * *

A large resonating blast sounded throughout the area. Yuj spun around and watched in horror as the Academy building began to cave in on itself. Dread filled him as he recalled where one of his teammates had been before all of the madness had begun. "Maqui!" Yuj screamed as he ran towards the building. The upper floors came down heavily upon the lower half of the building. As the third floor was being crushed, the upper half began to topple sideways. Yuj sighed in relief as he got to the site. The library was on the first floor. There was still time.

Gadot ran after Yuj. Nivien, Olly, along with other soldiers were not far behind. He didn't know what his best friend was up to, but he wasn't about to leave Yuj alone in the disaster that was now Academia. As he got closer, he was grateful of his decision. A large chunk of the building broke off and fell right towards the preoccupied man. Grabbing Yuj by the hips, Gadot swiftly pulled him out of the chunk's path, falling on his side. "Heads up! You need to watch yourself, Yuj."

Shaking the disorientation off, Yuj looked back to the crumbling Academy building. "You don't understand. Maqui is-" Before the words could make it out, the Academy Base's front doors swung open revealing a battered Zalera, Maqui and Cass.

The three ran out of the building, huffing as the rest began to come down. Zalera paced herself behind Maqui and Cass, making sure that they would be all right, though her wary gaze was set on the door. _If we weren't enough to take those guys out, the building should be. Temporarily, anyway._

"Maqui!" exclaimed Yuj and Gadot simultaneously. Yuj's actions made much more sense to the burly man now.

At the call of his name, the young man found his companions on the ground a few yards away. "You guys are okay." Though the three had been busy defending themselves against their previous problem, they had not been unaware of what was going on outside of the building.

"Dude!" Yuj grabbed Maqui and hugged him, clapping him on the back as he pulled away. "I thought you were a goner."

"Heh, so did I."

Zalera took in the scene around her, everything falling apart and burning to the ground. It reminded her too much of her tribe. "What's going on?"

"Castea's attacked," replied Nivien as she retracted her blade into gun mode. "And she's working with Sanctum City."

The Pulsian nodded in confirmation and bit her cheek in annoyance. _That woman has even more people under her thumb._

Maqui's brows furrowed. "So you know?" It hadn't even been an hour since he'd made the big discovery. Apparently he'd been too late. As usual.

Gadot shook his head as he picked his gun up from the cluttered street. "It hasn't been confirmed. Wait," the fiery-haired man paused, looking at Maqui curiously, "How'd you know?"

Another explosion bellowed from East Academia followed by another in the west. Cass sucked in a breath and holstered his weapon as he fished his comm from his pocket. "It doesn't matter now. We know. I have to call Kori."

A few gunshots rang out, taking out a soldier standing beside Olly. More l'Cie were coming at them. The group surrounded Cass, ready to protect him so he could finish his call. Whipping his gun back out, he shot at the enemy as he awaited an answer.

"Call Hope and Lightning when you're done," yelled Nivien as she struggled with an enemy, his blade nearly catching her throat.

_"Cass! Oh my Etro, are you all right?!"_

Kori's frantic voice rang in his ears and he sighed knowing that she was okay, obviously afraid, but alive. "Yeah, I'm fine. You?"

A loud sniffling from the girl caused some static over the line. Cass could hear the screams and explosions even louder over the phone. The teen squeezed his eyes shut and grimaced as a heavy crash sounded very close to his sister. She was apparently right in the eye of an attack. _"Dad's bleeding and-and we... I-I don't think I can f-find him anywhere he-he-I got separated from him on our way to the bunker and-"_

"Where are you?"

_"I'm in the square, by the fountain. Oh Maker, Cass-"_ Kori began coughing harshly into her comm. _"...there's so much smoke..."_

"Kori, I'll-" A sudden high pitched scream rang through and into his ear before the line went dead. "Kori! Kori!" Cass shouted and shouted into the phone, but there was nothing. He had to get to her.

Noticing the brunet begin to speed away, Olly called to him. "What are you doing?"

"I have to find my sister!"

Olly went to chase after him, figuring his friend shouldn't be out there alone, before he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"He'll be just fine," spoke Nivien. She grunted as she took a heavy blow to the side from her current opponent. She spun back around, favoring her side as she blocked the next blow coming at her.

Olly then refocused on the battle. Cass could take care of himself. He had to believe that.

Zalera slashed her chakram against the l'Cie's chest, the spikes digging heavily into his flesh. Pushing her back as he groaned in pain, he elbowed her in the face before kicking her in the gut. As he began to cure his new injury, he took two shots in the back of the head, falling dead beside Zalera.

After shooting the man, Gadot ran over to her, helping her up as she muttered a pained thanks. "No problem."

"What's the bunker?"

Gadot kept an eye out and his finger on the trigger as he explained. "The underground bunker was only supposed to be for an emergency. I suppose that's where everyone's going for shelter. It won't be able to hold this whole city, though."

Zalera clicked her tongue as emerald eyes glanced over Academia. "There isn't a whole city to keep safe anymore." Sharp eyes lit on an incoming man in the distance, shooting down enemies as he ran. Recognition flashed in her mind as he got closer. It was Sazh.

He was a man on a mission as he shot any l'Cie that dared to get in his way. The afro-haired man had just finished getting the chocobo safe in the bunker while helping some unfortunate people along the way. Now, he had to get to Dajh. Sparing a glance, he saw Gadot, Zalera, and the rest of the group as he passed them, but he wasn't going to waste time. He had to get Dajh out of the building before it fell.

Grabbing his jacket, Gadot held him back. "No, Sazh. What do you think you're doing?"

Sazh struggled. The building was right there, all he had to do was get inside. "I have to get to Dajh."

"And get yourself killed?" retorted Zalera. As she looked into Sazh's eyes though, she saw that he wasn't listening. His mind was focused on his son and with good reason. If Yeul were in there, nothing would be able to stop her.

"Dajh!" he yelled. "I gotta get to my son."

Gadot continued to pull him back, dodging a fist to the cheek until finally the elder had had enough. Sazh pulled his pistol and aimed it at his face. "You better back off, now. I have to get to my son."

Gadot hesitantly let him go, growling as he did so. He understood Sazh's motivation, but he didn't want him getting himself killed.

With swift and precise movement, Zalera kicked the gun from the man's hand before kneeing him hard in the stomach. Sazh fell to his knees as he stared up angrily at the woman. She scowled back at him, determined to not let him go on a suicide mission. "Dajh is fine. Nothing is getting through that crystal. Trust me."

Maqui then ran up to the hunched over man and squeezed his shoulder. "Believe me, I don't like leaving Snow in there either, but she's right. This is where being stuck in crystal is good for them." They were going to be okay. Absolutely nothing could get through that crystal.

Right?

* * *

She didn't hesitate in running after Castea, the woman continuously taunting her in her head. Flying towards the woman, Lightning ran through the shattered glass door. She stopped, however, seeing her just standing there, grinning that smug grin of hers. That smirk made Lightning sick. She wanted nothing but to knock that air of pride and nonchalance right out of her. But she knew the woman had something up her sleeve, she always did.

"Acting cowardly now, are we? I thought you were going to... What was it? Ah, yes... 'Tear me apart limb from limb.'"

Castea was grating her nerves, just as she wanted. But Lightning was not going to be elicited into making the first move. No, she was going to be taking back some of the control that Castea thrived on.

"No?" The blonde shrugged. "That's quite all right, really. We'll just stay here and stare at each other all day. Academia will fall. Your little friends will die. But we'll just keep on standing here... staring... wasting time..."

Putting a hand on her hip, Lightning scoffed. "When Hope said you could talk, he wasn't kidding. You really love your own voice, don't you? You're just another egotistical psycho on a power trip."

A slow clap was returned for Lightning's words. "Trying to ruffle my feathers. Bravo." She lowered her hands to her sides as she fell into silence, steel grey eyes boring into icy blue.

Lightning tensed, sensing a small change in the air. Her grip tightened on her gunblade just in time as she swung it around to parry a few very large icicles forming into her path. Just as the ice was clear, Castea was in front of her. Lightning lunged for the woman before being thrown back by the blast of a water spell.

Castea watched as the girl was flung back into the concrete wall beside the building's entrance, her head smacking against the wall with a loud crack. Amusement crinkled her eyes as a dazed Lightning stood, her body relying heavily on the wall. Lightning was determined, she'd give her that. Although, her doggedness and pride would no doubt lead to her downfall.

With a small wince, Lightning shook off her pain. There was no need for it here. Pain would only get in her way. She needed to win this battle. Drawing in a deep breath, Lightning sped towards her target, weapon ready and waiting to demolish her opponent.

Having anticipated Lightning's head on attack, Castea simply drew her hand up in front of her, passing it before Lightning slowly, drawing up a spell.

Crackling could be heard in the air around her. A chill slithered down the soldier's spine as she felt her body slow. All her limbs, her whole body was going at a alraune's pace even though she put all of her usual effort into her attack. Recognizing it as a slow spell, Lightning cursed. There was no way she was going to win against a l'Cie as powerful and skilled as Castea. Her breathing picked up as she began to panic. Everything just seemed futile.

A sharp pain shot through her side, then another, and another. Something was stabbing her repeatedly while she was helpless to even react. _I can't do a thing._ A huff fell from the sergeant as she told herself to halt those thoughts. She had to win.

The only way she could get out of her predicament was to counteract the slow spell. There was a way to free yourself from it on your own, but it took immense concentration. Something she had learned and mastered long ago.

Panic was the first thing that needed to go. Ignoring another stab to her body, Lightning tried to calm her mind, letting all of her flaring anger, pain, and concern for not only her own safety, but that of others, leave her thoughts. Once her mind was at peace, her pulse began to slow. Her heartbeat began to set to such a low thrum, you could hardly tell that it was even beating at all. This caused her body to go limp for just a moment, letting the slow spell almost completely consume her, before jolting out of it completely. With one precise movement, time was restored around her. Before Castea could react, the younger swung her blade in her direction, aim directed at the woman's heart.

With astounded eyes, Castea witnessed Lightning pull out of her spell and begin a new attack. Moving just in time for the soldier to miss her original target, Castea took a good slice to the bicep. Stumbling back a few steps, she caught Lightning's descending blade between her hands.

Lightning grunted as she tried to push against Castea, her weapon coming down towards the l'Cie's head. Just because Castea was exceptionally strong with magic, didn't mean that her physical strength could compete. But it appeared that the woman could hold her own because she was holding Lightning off well.

"I have to say that I'm quite impressed. That was a lot of magic to parry so quickly. Again, I applaud you." Castea's gaze left the saber and its wavering descent as she looked into the struggling girl's face. They would be at a standstill all day if they kept on like this. _Unless..._ Drawing in a slow breath, Castea focused her power on just behind Lightning. "You really are a stupendous fighter and are very determined to save those you care for. I was doubtful, at first. I mean, you didn't even come for him. You didn't even try."

Lightning felt herself jolt away for only a second, her weight lifting for a brief time. The abrupt change in conversation and its subject stung even more than her hollering wounds that marred her body. The slack didn't last, though, and she returned to her battle of strength just as soon as she'd left it.

A crooked smile was given before Castea continued her taunt. "At some point, he started screaming for you. But you were never going to come... were you, _Light_?"

She was finished with this. Lightning had slain these demons and put it all to rest. So how was it so easy for the woman to use Hope's torture against her now? The words, as well as the truth behind them, hurt her badly, but it wasn't enough to get her to pull back or be conquered by this woman. Castea's tactics would lose.

But something didn't feel right to the soldier. There was something she was missing. That crooked smirk was all she needed to see to know.

With a swift spin, Lightning turned and stabbed Castea in the gut. Her gunblade firmly pierced a new Castea that had been behind Lightning, the other then fading away into the air. Shock was written on the woman's face as she was hunched over the weapon within her abdomen. The superiority was swept from her expression instantly. Eyes wide and mouth agape, Castea drew in a harsh breath as blood dripped out of the corner of her mouth and onto the tiled floor beneath them.

Not allowing the opportunity to pass, Lightning then withdrew her gunblade from the wounded l'Cie and went to slash her blade across her neck. A loud clang rang through the room as her blade passed right through air and hit harshly into the ground. Castea was gone. Lightning's teeth clenched as she saw that the woman had vanished. "Where did she go now?" she growled.

A voice light with amusement sounded within the air around her. _"Was I ever even there in the first place?"_

* * *

Yuj practically threw himself to the ground in relief and exhaustion as the group got a brief reprieve from the fighting. "Just how many of these freaks are there?"

Maqui collapsed beside him. "A lot."

"Yo, this ain't no time for naps," chided Gadot. "Get yer asses in gear."

Yuj nodded, pushing a deflated Maqui off of his side and grabbing Olly's outstretched hand. A look of extreme alarm passed over his features as a thought crossed his mind. Where was Lebreau? "Hey, has anyone heard from Lebreau?"

Maqui's head shot up. How could he have forgotten about Lebreau? "Crap!" Frantic hands scrambled for his comm. When he finally got it in his grasp, he dialed, then waited impatiently for her voice. "When was the last time anyone saw her?"

"Last I knew she was at the cafe." Yuj bit his lip, hoping that she was all right.

Sazh nodded. "I was there for a bit. Rygdea was there too."

Maqui groaned as he got her voicemail. "Dammit, pick up, Lebreau!" When she didn't answer after yet another call, Maqui about lost it.

Readying his weapon, Gadot began to head off. "All right, to NORA it is. We gotta make sure she's safe. Then we'll get to the bunker."

"Right," agreed Yuj and Maqui.

"We're coming too." Nivien and her brother jogged towards the departing group, wanting to ensure Lebreau's safety as well as wanting to stick with everyone.

"You guys go on," hollered Zalera. "We're gonna find Hope and Lightning." Gadot nodded and sent a salute towards her and Sazh before their group took off.

Sazh grabbed the girl's shoulder as she was about to head off in another direction. "Hey, we should get to my ship."

"What? Why?"

"These people are after Hope, right? All of this is about Hope?"

Zalera nodded hesitantly, unsure of where the old man was going with this.

"So if we get him out of Academia, they'll follow, right?"

"Right. But we don't have Hope. Getting to the ship and leaving without him won't do a thing."

Sazh dragged a hand down his face. Exhaustion was creeping up on him heavily and they needed to get going. "We got no clue where Hope and soldier girl are. Searching for them ain't goin' to cut it. We should call until we get ahold of one of them and have them meet us there."

"Neither of them have picked up so far."

"It's the best option we have."

Zalera didn't like it, but it really was the best option. "All right. Call as you run. I'll call Lightning. You call Hope." Green eyes caught a sight behind Sazh that had her pushing him toward the hangar, hurrying him along. Sebastian was coming towards them, his eyes locked on the warrior. "And stay alive."

* * *

Castea fell into a stunned Barsilisk's arms upon encounter. "What happened with the Farron girl?"

The woman practically hissed as the soldier's name fell from his lips, pulling from him as a rage burned within her. "They're not supposed to be this strong," she snarled, practically foaming at the mouth. Her whole body tensed as her mind went over every detail of her last battle. _It should have worked._

When Barsilisk caught sight of the rather large injury Castea was sporting and neglecting in her fury, he quickly healed it, a grimace upon his visage for having to. "You knew this would happen. You anticipated-"

"I knew the boy would... just not this soon. And I thought the girl would have cracked by now... Maybe we need to give her another push. Her sister should do nicely."

The man grabbed Castea by the shoulders, pulling her in front of him. "I don't think we'll have to resort to that." Barsilisk then turned the woman around to face all of the destruction they had caused. He watched as her eyes lit up, taking it all in from their nice hill top. "Once both she and the boy realize what this means and their part in it, we won't have to worry."

Castea sighed in appreciation as her eyes greedily took in the scene. "This world must burn." Her words rolled off of her tongue with hatred as if the entire world utterly repulsed her. "But he will never give in, will he?"

"When has your persistence ever never paid off? Give it time, my dear."

She nodded, steeling her resolve. Turning to her husband, Castea tenderly caressed his cheek before lightly pecking him on the lips. "You'll stay by my side, right? When I stand and lead the new world?"

"Of course."

Smile falling as she pursed her lips, Castea knew what the man really thought of her and her question. She slid her hand off of his cheek before giving it a light pat. "Of course you will. You have to." She then turned from him, preferring to watch her work unfold.

Barsilisk came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I want to."

* * *

Lightning then fell back into the wall behind her, sinking to the ground as her body went limp. Her head ached at the thought of it all having been another mind game. But it hadn't been. Lightning came to the conclusion that the fight certainly had been real this time. She hadn't stabbed herself with those icicles. _Speaking of..._ Eyeing the sharp, slender, frozen projectile embedded in her thigh, Lightning grasped it carefully. Her other hand tenderly held the wounded appendage down. With a sharp inhale, the soldier yanked the icicle from her leg, a cry being restrained in her throat. With vicious contempt, Lightning threw the icicle against the opposite wall.

Irate with anger and frustration, her body began to shake. The woman had escaped, vanished before she could even land the finishing blow. The wounds she had been able to inflict on the blonde were probably already healed. Her part and effort in the fight had been worthless. Even if she had been able to win the fight and decapitate that vile woman, it wouldn't have done a thing. Castea would have died, sure, but she wouldn't have stayed dead.

There was no point in fighting. They were fighting a battle that had already been won. Castea was too powerful. She had planned everything before Lightning had even known there was any danger. Why even fight?

Slender hands clenched into tight fists as Lightning cursed her thoughts. This was what Castea wanted. Doubt. Lightning wasn't going to give it to her. Pulling one of the potions from her pouch, Lightning drank the bittersweet green liquid, letting the refreshing coolness wash over her. The spark of life that filled her died out within half a second as usual, taking away all of her insignificant injuries and partially healing the larger ones in her abdomen and thigh. The hole in her stomach was manageable, whereas the one in her leg was seeping heavily. Choosing to save her other two potions for someone else, knowing it would be needed in the chaos that the world was now, she tore off a portion of her cape and tied it around her thigh.

A dull ringing came from her pocket, alerting her of an incoming call on her comm. "Sergeant Farron, here," she answered.

"Lightning?! Do you know how long we've been trying to call you? Are you with Hope?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Sazh and I are on his ship in the hangar. You gotta get him here. We need to get Hope out of Academia."

Well at least Sazh and Zalera were okay. And they had a plan. "All right."

"Hurry!"

With a sigh, Lightning picked herself up, needing to get back to- _Shit! Where's, Hope?!_

* * *

"Back up from the window!" Hope shooed the girl to the other side of the car with his hand, hoping to keep most of the spray of shattered glass away from her. With a frantic nod, she complied, scooting herself back across the bent up metal of the roof in the backseat as far as she could. "Cover your eyes!" Hope waited until she did just that before slamming the hilt of his gunblade into the window, shattering it on impact.

The little girl removed her arm from her face and watched as the man carefully moved into the window, holding his arms out to her. Eagerly, she jumped into the man's arms, allowing him to extract her from the thoroughly wrecked vehicle.

Hope pulled the girl away from the site with a relieved sigh. As he began to walk away a few steps, though, he felt an adamant tug on his jacket. Concerned emerald eyes looked upon the girl as she squirmed in his arms, her tear-filled gaze stuck to the car. "What is it? Are you okay?" Hope set the girl down to check her for injuries, only for her to bolt back to the car, tugging fervently on the driver's side door. It was then that Hope realized what the girl wanted. A man was in the front seat, smashed between the steering wheel and the roof of the car, unmoving. The young director was pretty sure he was dead, but he would check for the little girl.

The door was severely dented in and it took a few minutes of attempting to pry the thing open with all of his strength, but eventually with loud groans of protest the door sprang open. Pushing past Hope, the girl ran to the man, pulling on his arm. The man didn't wake.

Putting her arms around him and attempting to pull the upside down man out, the girl let out a cry. "Please! Please, Daddy, c'mon! We gotta get outta here!" When it was clear that her father wasn't complying to her will, she turned to the stranger that had rescued her. If he had rescued her, he could surely save her dad too. "Please help him," she begged.

The plea broke his heart, mostly due to the fact that he knew that he could do no such thing. Hope prayed that he was wrong as he bent down and yanked off his frayed, battle worn glove. When he pressed his fingers onto the man's neck, he prayed for there to be a pulse. When he grabbed the man's limp hand, he prayed for even a weak beat. When he sat back on his heels with a grave face, eyes looking over the man, he prayed for any sign of life. But of course, he never counted much on prayer. And it was due to times like this. "I'm sorry, but..."

"No!" she screamed, immediately pushing him away and laying beside her father, embracing his body against hers as she sobbed into his shirt. "Not daddy too..."

Hope swallowed his sorrow and grief, his guilt, before going over to the young one and tugging on her shoulder. He knew she wouldn't want to leave her father, but he wasn't going to leave her to be slain too. She protested and struggled as he picked her up, using his strength to force her away. It was completely against his nature to be so forceful and rough, especially with a child, and though he knew he had to, he hated doing so. As Hope managed to successfully pull her into his arms, she bit his hand, trying any tactic to get back to her father. "He's gone, okay? We have to get you out of here."

The tears only fell harder at his words. "I just want my daddy," she cried.

"I know. I want mine, too."

She stopped struggling slowly, looking at the stranger with wide and surprised eyes. "You lost your daddy, too?" Wiping at her eyes with clenched fists, the girl then clung onto him, waiting for an answer.

Hope took a steady breath, grateful for her fit to have passed. "Yes. I lost my daddy, too. I know you're sad and I know you don't want to leave him, but what was your daddy doing before you... got in an accident?"

"...He said he had to get me someplace safe."

Smiling warmly at the girl, Hope pushed a lock of her slightly wavy and long violet hair from her eye. "Right. Your daddy wanted you safe, so that's what we're gonna do, get you someplace safe."

With a slow nod, she accepted. "What about daddy?"

"He's..." _What about her father?_ Of course she wouldn't want to leave his body laying in the wreckage in the street. Hope had no answer for her. He couldn't take her and the dead man. What if they were attacked? He needed to be able to protect not only himself, but now the defenseless girl too. "I-" His words caught in his throat. He couldn't just simply tell her that her dad would be a hazard and literal dead weight.

"He's already safe," the girl mumbled, tilting her head to the side as she looked at her father.

"What?"

A small smile came to the girl's face, her chapped lips cracking some with the movement. "Daddy's with mommy now. They're both safe. They're both together." One last drop fell from her eye, drifting slowly down her face until it was harshly wiped away. "That's just his body. Daddy doesn't need it anymore..."

Hope stared down at the child in his arms, astonished at the way she was handling the situation. It seemed that she had worked everything out for herself. "Where did you learn that?"

"Daddy told me that when mommy died," she spoke simply, though her words were heavy. "Daddy told me mommy died in the fall... and even though we didn't have her body to bury, that that was all right. It was just a body. She doesn't need it anymore. Mommy's spirit is free and her soul is safe. She's up in heaven with grandpa and grams."

Taking in a sharp breath, Hope smiled at the girl, wishing that he could see the death of his loved ones in such a light. He'd spent days upon weeks upon months upon years wishing to have his mother's body, to see her and hold her just one more time. Hope had never thought of it the way the girl did.

"What's your name?" came a shaky question.

"Hope. My name's Hope."

The girl then held her hand out timidly. "Emilina."

With a chuckle, Hope grasped her hand and shook it. "How old are you, Emilina?" Hope frowned as blood began to seep from a cut on her lip.

"I'm nine." Emilina watched in amazement as his hand was held over her face, a green glow emanating from his skin. She instantly felt most of her scrapes and injuries disappear. "Wow..." She then wrapped her arms around his neck, clinging to him. "Thank you."

"Let's get you out of here, okay?" Before Emilina could reply, a large blast hit the ground a few feet from them, throwing Hope harshly to the concrete, Emilina then rolling from his grasp.

Ringing was all he could hear as Hope tried to wait out the disorientation. His head felt heavy and he fought the urge to sleep. The world was hazy in his eyes. Whether that was from the hard knock to the head he'd gotten or the smoke clouding the air, he couldn't tell. He figured it was both. Feeling the sting of glass on his face, Hope tried to pick his head up off of the rough pavement. It was just too hard.

As the fog lifted from his mind and the world became clearer, Hope could make out a figure in the distance. It was Jun, laying in the street, struggling to get up. He wanted to get to her and help her. Hope wanted to grab Emilina and get her to the bunker. And faintly aware that he'd gotten separated from Lightning somehow, Hope wished to assure her safety as well, but he was just too tired...

He fell into a doze, drifting off for minutes that passed like hours. A tugging on his collar was the only thing to successfully pull him from his state. Vermilion eyes bore into his own eyes, into his soul, imploring him to move. So he sat up, grimacing at the pain shooting through his skull. He squeezed his eyes shut as Emilina lightly brushed over his oozing temple with her hand. Pulling her hand away and grasping onto the tiny fingers gently, Hope conveyed to her that he was all right, he was there.

Emilina watched as Hope healed his wound quickly before turning to her with a smile and whispering that he was all right. Emilina nodded, helping him up off of the unforgiving ground. She scrunched her nose up in thought for a moment as she thought about the man's super power and his name. She'd heard it somewhere before... "You're a l'Cie?"

Hope bristled at the question, wondering how the girl had known about such a thing. Of course, in this world he was considered something dangerous. What responsible parent wouldn't instill in their child to keep away from his kind? He feared the look on the girl's face. Would she look frightened and be afraid of him hurting her? Would she look angry for stealing her parents from her? "Yes," he stated numbly.

She showed neither and instead gave him a smile. "You're Hope, our leader. Daddy said that you were…" she paused trying to remember the exact words her father had used, "…the key to our future."

"He said that?" Hope was beyond stunned. From what he knew, since he had reattained his l'Cie status, people either hated him or didn't know what to think of him. With the way Harleen spoke of him, he was surprised that he hadn't been kicked out of his position.

"Yeah, he said that there was finally a powerful being to stand for us, not against us." With that she latched onto his hand as if he were the last tangible thing she had to hang onto.

_So people do believe in me, after all?_ A loud cry brought Hope back from his musings. Jun was yelling for help, not for herself, but for Arden. Grasping onto Emilina tighter, Hope pulled her toward the elderly woman. The silveret choked on the air he inhaled as he saw the state of the woman who had been watching out for him and guiding him for so many years. "Jun..." Her arm was mangled and twisted at odd angles and her face held a jagged gash that ran vertically down from her eyebrow to her chin. The gash had cut through her eye and lips, but she did not try to stop the bleeding. She kept frantically calling for Arden. Apparently she hadn't noticed Hope's presence.

He'd been right beside her. How could she have lost him? How could she have allowed him to slip away from her? And now she was laying in the dirt unable to move and half unable to see. A shout had her attention snapping to a blurry figure before her. She swiped at him defensively with her blade and watched as the form grabbed onto the weapon, keeping it steadily from his face. The person began speaking to her, coaxing her to calm down. It was the voice of the man that calmed her, not the words. "Hope..." She knew that voice. Sweet Hope was there. He was safe and could help her find Arden.

"Maker, Jun. What happened to you?" he muttered while trying to heal her injuries.

His help was denied as he was roughly shoved away. "Some bastard came at us and I just barely got us away." Her feral expression fell upon the blade that now laid on the ground. "I snatched that from some poor soldier who was far too green for this." A cry of pain fell from her lips before she grabbed onto his arm and looked at him with desperation. "Please find Arden. I can't believe I lost him. He needs you. Please."

He pulled her hand from him and held it tightly. "Of course. But I have to help you."

"No, Hope-" she began sternly before being quickly brushed off.

"I'm getting you out of here." Quickly healing her wounds, he winced as the woman screamed as her arm's bones began snapping back into place. The pain drew her into unconsciousness. With a glance, Hope saw a small squad of G.C. officers heading off. He stood, shouting at the men, his voice turning horse quickly from the smoke and the strain as he tried to cry over the blaring noise of war.

A captain turned to him, noticing right away that it was their director. "Director," the man addressed him with a quick salute. "Thank the Maker, we thought you were dead."

"Please, I need you to help her. Get her to the bunker."

The man furrowed his brow as he looked at the woman before turning back to Hope. "Our orders were-"

Hope then pulled the man in by his tie so they were face to face. "Your orders are to take this woman and this girl and get them safely to the bunker. They are your first and only priority. Understood?"

The man steeled his features and agreed. Two soldiers carefully extracted the woman from the ground while another grabbed onto Emilina, lifting her up.

A barely awake Jun grabbed Hope's hand one last time and begged him to find Arden.

"I will find him, Jun." The woman was then carried away.

Emilina struggled with the solider, kicking and flailing in his arms. "No! Let me go!" She then screamed at the top of her lungs and bit the man until he dropped her, her falling down harshly onto her backside.

"Fuck." The man looked at his now bleeding arm and watched as the little girl ran to the director.

"Don't leave me." She ran straight into Hope's middle, hugging him with all her might.

Gritting his teeth, Hope waved off the captain and his soldiers with an expression of exasperation. "Just take Jun, I'll take care of her." He then picked up a teary eyed Emilina. "We have to find my friend, okay? He's about your age. I need you to listen for him, okay?"

"Okay." She was just glad that he hadn't left her.

Hope went to call Lightning before realizing that he had neglected to grab his comm in his haste to get out of his house and help his city. So he settled for calling out both their names.

A l'Cie came at the two, causing Hope to throw the violet haired girl from his arms and stand to fight the man who had a few friends following him. There were seven men, and Hope took on them all. He slashed at the first and as the enemy ducked it, the man was hit with a firaga from below, blasting him back.

Emilina screamed as another l'Cie charged her. This caused Hope's temper to flare dangerously. Emilina was an innocent, harmless little girl. Without another thought, Hope sent a powerful blizzard spell toward the man and woman that were threatening her. Both were instantly frozen solid.

The next few moments were a blur as all he focused on was taking out the enemy. "Get away from her!" he shouted over and over with every slash and spell until they were all dead. He stood, blood splattered all along him, before falling to one knee, his forehead against his raised one. He felt numb. So very numb.

Pushing her hair from her face, Emilina ran to him, carefully avoiding stepping on any of the fallen bodies. She pulled his head up and stared into his face. The girl frowned at the blood that was streaked across his features. It made him look like a monster. He was not a monster, he was her savior. Taking her sleeve, Emilina cleaned off his face before pulling him up. "We have to find Arden, Hope."

Erasing his mind of his actions and taking in hefty breaths, Hope got up. He called again, his voice and tone reflecting how distraught he was.

Finally, his ears twitched with recognition as he heard a small cry. "Hope! Hope is that-" Arden came around a building, calling for the silveret. The boy was jolted out of his sentence as he was roughly grabbed by another of Castea's men, a gun being held to Arden's temple. He whimpered before being slapped across the face. Arden then fell silent, looking desperately at Hope.

Hope stepped towards the man, only for the l'Cie to raise his brow and push the gun closer to the kid's face. "What are you going to do, director?"

"Not a damn thing," spoke Lightning as she stood behind him and stabbed her blade straight through his back and chest. "He doesn't have to."

Arden leapt away from the falling man. A large smile spread across both Arden and Hope's faces. Arden ran to Hope, his face burying into his stomach. "Jun's okay too, Arden. We got her to safety." Hope wrapped an arm around Arden as he stared at Lightning. Their eyes met, both thoroughly relieved while finding a small amount of solace in the other's irises.

Lightning smirked as she joined the group. "Collecting kids now, are we?"

Hope smiled as he ran his fingers through both Arden's and Emilina's hair. "I'm glad you're okay, Light."

She rolled her eyes, swiping her blade quickly through the air to rid it of the fresh blood. "Zalera called. She's with Sazh. They think we need to get you out of here and I agree."

"But what about everyone else? I can't run away."

Having expected the protest, Lightning kissed him, square on the lips, in public. "You're getting these beasts away from them." She glanced down at the two growths on his sides, indicating who she meant. His people. "They want you or they want you to go after the crystals, either way, you're giving them what they want. They'll leave this city be in favor of following us."

Determination sparked in his eyes and he conceded. "All right, let's get you two safe," he suggested, rubbing the two kid's backs. He looked at Arden with confusion, however, as the eight year old pulled from his grasp, shaking his head.

"Wait, she's hurt! We have to help her." He then sped off, the others running after him.

"Who's hurt?" Hope figured he was talking about Jun, but the boy was going the wrong way. "Wait, Arden!" Running around the building Arden had come from, Hope halted his steps, frozen in horror before shaking it off and going to his side, kneeling before a torn up and battered Officer Mires.

She smiled lazily as they joined her, a horse cough coming from her before she could speak, her voice raspy and quiet. "I t-tried to protect him."

Hope nodded with a strained smile as he slid off his tie and tied it around her thigh. Her left leg, from the thigh down, was gone. It was in such a horrid state that it looked like it had been blown off. He held eye contact with Mires through his movements, not wanting her to pay too much attention to the injury, fearing she would slip into shock.

She let out a light, bitter laugh. "We all know I was never a very good soldier in the field."

"You're going to be fine, Georgina."

Another chuckle fell from her before she coughed and sputtered, blood soon dripping from her lips. "You're not a very good liar, Director."

He shook his head, giving her a hard stare and willing her to stay alive. "It's Hope, Georgina. I think we've known each other long enough to omit the formalities." It was true, he'd known her since before either of them had even joined the Academy. "And I mean it. We're going to get you out of this and to the bunker."

Hope attempted to heal Mires, to which she rejected him almost immediately. Another coughing fit erupted from her before she fell back against the building, panting as she stared up into the sky. Her eyes fell onto the crystallized world above them. "Everyone I've ever cared for has been out of my reach for so long." She raised her arm up as her fingers stretched toward the planet, before her appendage fell lazily back to her side. "It's been so lonely down here." She sighed as Hope pushed her curly brown bangs from her vision, his hand staying a tad longer on her forehead than necessary, probably checking and finding a fever that was surely there. "It's fine, Hope."

He bit his cheek as his eyes watered. She was welcoming death, and he wasn't going to let her. "You have to fight this."

Her lips quirked up into a smile that turned into a grimace of pain. "I know I don't understand much of this, but I know that you have to keep fighting... for us." She stared at him as he took her hand. Her sharp nails dug into his skin; she wanted him to understand. "We're rooting for you." Slowly and with much effort, Georgina brought her arm against her chest and saluted to him. "You're our director, our hope." Her body jerked roughly against the building as she struggled to breathe before she finally stopped, her golden eyes open and staring at Cocoon as the life left her.

Hope trembled. He couldn't take it anymore. His people, his friends, were dying and it was his fault.

Lightning knelt beside him, turning away from guarding them from incoming attacks for only a moment. She put her hand gently over the dead Academy officer and closed her eyes. She then turned to Hope, brows knitted in concern as she took in his hollow stare. "Hope."

His heart ached as the crater of emptiness within him grew with every death he had to endure. He felt himself crack from the pain. And Hope knew it would only get worse if he turned back to the world. The rest of Academia was filled with the dead who had lost their lives because of his actions.

"Hope."

But he had to fight this. Just as Georgina had said, he had to fight for them.

"Hope... she's gone." Lightning jostled him from his thoughts, staring straight at him. Her eyes left him for a moment, warily looking over their surroundings, before snapping back to him. "We have to go."

He nodded and stood, his gaze never looking back on the woman at their feet. Arden and Emilina stood at Hope's hip, holding each other's hands. Hope smiled at them and took Arden's outstretched hand that was offered.

Lightning's comm went off suddenly, startling all in its proximity. She answered, relieved to hear Amodar's voice.

"Farron, you all right?"

The man sounded extremely worried and Lightning felt comforted by her mentor's concern. "All good, sir."

"And Estheim?"

"The director's fine as well. We have Arden Rosch and a little girl too."

"Can you get them all to the NORA cafe? Rygdea's collecting some last survivors before leading them to the bunker. Mr. DeWald has some serious news for you two as well."

"Yes sir." They could stop on their way, but it'd have to be quick.

Lightning shut off her comm and shoved it back in her pouch as Hope was about ready to flag down some passing soldiers a ways away. She stopped him swiftly, covering his mouth and shoving his waving hand down.

"The hell, Light?" he managed as he broke from her hold.

"Don't trust them." Alert eyes traveled over to the group as they passed. She sighed with relief that they hadn't been spotted.

"They're soldiers-"

"And not all of them are like Mires." Lightning's words echoed around them for a moment. "I was attacked by some of your soldiers, Hope, when I was looking for you. Not all of them are looking to you to save them. Some of them are placing blame on you for this. We have to be careful."

Arden shook Hope's hand, looking to tell him something. "It was another soldier that hurt the woman that saved me. He was wearing the same uniform as her and everything! He said that you were bad and she called him a traitor before..."

It was one of his own men that had done that to Mires. Hope felt a part of himself crack a little more.

* * *

As the small gang came upon NORA, they all looked on, devastated at the sight. NORA was no longer a standing structure and had crumbled to the ground. Gadot, Yuj, Maqui, and a few G.C. soldiers and Academy officers seemed to be trying to get through the rubble.

"Farron," called Amodar, waving them over.

A very worn Rygdea stood beside the general, eyes lighting up at the sight. He brought Hope into a firm embrace at first chance. "Glad to see you're okay, kid." He then looked down upon Arden and hugged the boy to his side as well. "Maker, Arden, you're okay." The man was about to inquire about Jun before snapping his mouth shut and looking to Hope, silently asking if he knew if she was all right. Hope nodded with a smile, leading to Rygdea's grin broadening. "And who's this little gal here? You got a girlfriend, Arden?"

Emilina giggled as a blush soon spread across Arden's face. " _Rygdea_ ," he whined.

The man cackled before straightening up. "Okay, say your temporary goodbyes, kiddos. We're going to get you both to safety."

Both sets of eyes landed on Hope. "Go on, guys. I'll see you later. We have some last monsters to beat before we can join you." Arden nodded before grabbing Emilina's hand and following Rygdea toward the group headed for the bunker.

"Watch yourself, Hope."

"Always, Rygdea."

Amodar waved Maqui over, the man looking hopeless, his expression filled with anguish. "Hope-"

He choked on his name and Hope's mind quickly ran through all of the possibilities of why he seemed so broken. "Maqui, what..."

Lightning tensed, hoping to get the apparently important information soon. It wasn't that she didn't care, but they needed to get Hope out of Academia. The sooner he was out, the sooner everyone else was safe. The sooner he was safe.

"Lebreau's stuck in the basement, underneath...", he turned back to the building, becoming more disheartened by the minute, "... all of that. We had her on her comm, but... we think she passed out... well... we hope..."

Hope paled at the news.

Maqui continued, his voice firming as he spoke though his expression remained grave. Lebreau was going to die. He knew it. "Nivien was shot in the shoulder twice." He looked over toward Nivien and Olly as the former was being patched up. "We got a call from Alyssa. She and Hildough are trapped in the Academy building... in one of the upper floors. If that building comes completely down..."

_It wasn't in great shape when we passed it not ten minutes ago..._ Hope stopped those thoughts as soon as they began to take shape. They were going to be fine.

"And no one's heard from Cass since he took off after Kori. There are hundreds of dead soldiers and civilians..." Maqui threw his gunblade across the ground. "What is happening...?" Just yesterday, the city was fine. Castea kept them on their toes, but this...

Lightning shook her head at the information. It was unbelievable how much she cared. Each bit of information Maqui had given had sent a stab of pain through her. Lightning then realized that she had changed since the fall; she'd changed in more ways than she had thought. She cared for so many people now. Before it was always only about- "Serah," gasped Lightning. "Is she-"

"She's fine, Lightning," Hope assured.

"How do you know? You haven't seen-"

"Even if that building falls, nothing is getting through that crystal." He let Lightning soak up the words before turning to Maqui. "I'm leaving. Castea's disciples should follow us out. You'll be able to focus on saving people when they're gone."

Maqui gulped in a breath to calm himself before relaying his earlier learned information to Hope. "Belphagor is their fal'Cie."

Hope's brows rose. He supposed it wasn't too shocking. If Sanctum City was working with them, then it made sense that their fal'Cie Belphagor was with Castea, too.

"Castea is a lot older than we thought too, like, hundreds of years older. It's no wonder everything about them was buried so far in such ancient Pulsian that even Zalera couldn't understand it." The man huffed. "Her and her group are like an extension of Belphagor."

"Maq, how'd you-"

"I deciphered it all in a-"

Olly briskly walked up in between the two men, having just noticed Hope's presence, and punched him in the face, sending the elder to the floor. "This is all your fault! Look at what you've done!" the teen cried angrily.

Lightning kicked the frustrated soldier down to the ground, her boot held on his chest. "I suggest you shut your mouth, Private."

Olly glared at her before spitting on her shoe. "I won't take orders from a l'Cie's bitch."

Azure eyes flared with rage as Lightning lifted him off the ground, fully ready to pound the little brat.

Hope was about to jump in as he gripped his now bleeding nose, but Nivien got there first. "Please take it easy, Sergeant." She extracted her brother from the woman's infuriated grip and thwacked him upside the head. "Shut it." A gasp of pain left her, but she held firm. "Never say such things again, Olly, you got me?"

"Tch." Clenching her fists, Lightning turned back to Hope. "Let me see."

Hope waved her off. The bleeding was minimum and had stopped anyway. "What were you saying, Maq?"

Glaring at Olly as the two La Salles retreated, Maqui went on. "It doesn't matter. But I found out one extremely important bit. The book said that Belphagor's l'Cie are only as vulnerable as their fal'Cie allows them to be."

Lightning's eyes narrowed. "So Belphagor brings them back to life. If he wanted, they could die."

Maqui nodded. "But it also means-"

"That if we kill Belphagor, we take away their invulnerability to death," interjected Hope.

"Exactly."

Hope then grabbed Maqui's shoulder's, whispering to him quietly. "Have you told anyone else?"

"I just told Amodar I had important news for you. The only other person who knows is Cass."

"You guys have to keep this to yourselves. I don't want anyone getting the idea to go after the Sanctum's fal'Cie without us, got it?" Maqui just stared, bewildered by the command. "That's an order, Maq." The goggled man nodded then. "As soon as we're out and the ships are gone from the city, I want you to put the shields up too, okay?"

Maqui's nod then turned to an adamant shake of the head. "What about the problems? We still haven't worked all of the kinks out. We still don't know how to shut them down once they're up."

"Just do it."

"How will I know when to turn them on? The comm system's down."

"Like I said, when all of the ships follow us out."

"You won't be able to come back," Maqui spoke softly as his gaze pleaded with Hope to not say what he knew was coming.

Hope's grip tightened on Maqui's shoulders. "I'm not coming back."

* * *

Shots fired in her direction, hitting the wall beside her head. Looking back, Lightning could see two incoming l'Cie gunning for them. Both of them wouldn't be able to make it to the ship before they caught up. Pushing Hope ahead, Lightning stopped, turning towards her attackers while firing a barrage of rounds.

Tripping at the sudden action, Hope turned back. Lightning was no longer running, she was fighting. It was clear that she intended on him going on without her. "I'm not leaving without you," Hope cried, throwing his boomerang over Lightning's head and hitting an attacker.

Lightning cursed his stubbornness while fending off the nameless l'Cie. They had to get Hope out of the city, not only for him, but for the sake of Academia. "Go on, Hope. I'll be there soon."

"No, Light, I'm fine-"

"Go," she barked. "I swear, if you don't get your ass in gear, I'll shoot you myself." One l'Cie fell to the ground with a final cry, leaving only one standing. "I'll be fine."

Knowing that she was right, Hope turned and ran. They were already at the hangar. He hated leaving her, but if anyone could take on any challenge ahead of her, it was Lightning. Feet hitting the smooth concrete of the hangar, Hope took in a breath of relief as he had made it into the building.

He paused just a bit from the ship, however, glancing at the door with apprehension. Was it right for him to flee when everyone else had to fight? _No, I have to do this. I'm doing this for them._ With that, he made to turn back towards his destination. Lightning should be right behind him, considering how quick she usually disposed of her enemy.

But the faint sound that came from his right like the click of the safety of a gun had him halt in his tracks once again. With caution, Hope turned to the sound, knowing that he would see a gun trained on him. Though who was behind the trigger was someone he couldn't have guessed in a lifetime.

"Cass…"


	21. Erosion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Cass..."

The ship gave a lurch as its take off wasn't exactly steady. Sazh was nervous, you could feel it through the aircraft and its wavering assent into the air. The others were on edge, all waiting and watching for Castea's minions to follow. But Hope just sat there, staring into nothingness, so lost in himself that the world faded out.

He could see it all as clear as day. They were all dead. Every single one of them. And every single one of their deaths was his fault. He was a coward. He was a monster. He was a murderer.

Emilina's father's body still sat crushed in his car, or so Hope imagined. Maybe the vehicle had exploded by now and all that would be left would be ashes and charred bones. A father's dreams of seeing his daughter grow old, gone.

Hope saw Georgina, sitting as they'd left her against the building. The crystal planet loomed over her with her loved ones, which she would never again see, forever trapped inside.

In the bowels of NORA was Lebreau. The once gregarious, proud and tough woman left in a most vulnerable state until her time ran out. Her last thoughts would have been her wishes of seeing her beloved team mates again while her rescue would be far too late. Clutched in her fist would be her comm, just as lifeless as its owner due to the system failure.

Alyssa and Reuben would die too. Hope could see the rooms around them ablaze, their terrified faces bathed in the brilliant orange glow. They wouldn't burn alive, though. No, they would be saved from that cruel fate. The gods owed them that much. Instead they would die from the heat and the loss of air. Or maybe the Academy Base, the once most stable, most looked upon building in Academia, would fall. Alyssa's and Hildough's bodies would be crushed, lost among the rocks and rubble.

Hope wanted to reject such thoughts. It wasn't his nature to think these things. Yet, the dark images and memories all blurred together, creating a reality of truth and lies so mixed, Hope didn't know what to believe. He wanted to think that his friends were fine, that those that had died, did not die in vain. But Hope struggled, for his most prominent thoughts were the more realistic ones.

Kori lied in a street somewhere in the city. Her body would be hit by some stray gunfire. Some rocks and crumbling buildings would cover her. The raging war would demolish her body, but she couldn't feel it. She was dead, gone. The war couldn't affect her anymore.

Cass lied dead within the hangar, the teen's gun, his trusted protection, left lying just out of the reach of his limp hand. All of Cass' hopes of ever seeing his mother again, lost along with his life.

The rest of the NORA gang died valiantly. They died as the heroes they had always claimed to be. Maqui, Gadot and Yuj all died together, fighting off the threat until they each took their last breath.

The list went on from his own mother and father, to Yeul and Aida - all dead because of him. Everyone he ever cared for was dead or would die very soon. Every civilian of Academia that had put their faith and trust in their leader's hands were all just lifeless bodies that laid littered along their city's streets. There was no end to this madness. Unless of course, Hope quit being a murderer. If Hope quit being a monster. If Hope quit being such a god damned coward. If the puppet just cut his strings. If he just let go, it would all end.

* * *

"Cass...?" Hope's eyes widened as he took in the sight before him, mind reeling at the revolver's owner that had a look of crazed sorrow and anger in his eyes.

"Drop it," demanded Lightning as she entered the hangar and slowly walked to their sides. No matter what was going on in that brunet's mind, Lightning wasn't going to allow him to hurt Hope.

Hope's attention remained on Cass, Lightning's presence hardly hitting him. He found himself completely bewildered and hurt seeing his once best friend standing there, nearly quivering before him with such malicious intent sparking in those violet eyes. A pang of regret hit the young director then. When had he stopped considering Cass as his best friend? "Cass, what are you doing?"

A tear dropped from the younger man's eye, quietly and stealthily falling, appearing as if having been an illusion. "She's dead, Hope." The words wavered through the air, spoken from spiteful lips. "Kori's dead," Cass reiterated with such force, such bite, that he flinched at his own tone. The anger came in waves, mixing with the unyielding guilt. She was dead. His dear sister, the last treasured person in his life, was gone in an instant. And it had sewn his fate, his decent into revenge. It would begin with the death of the most wholly responsible. None of it would have happened if Hope had never existed. "She's dead and it's your fault." His rage intensified with his statement. His hold only strengthened on his gun, and though his arm shook, his aim remained true.

The announcement of Kori's death struck Hope with a stunning blow. He took a step back in his shock, his head shaking fervently automatically, not wanting to believe it. Too many had died already. _Not her too..._ "No... Maker, no," he whispered, the truth slowly seeping into his brain.

_I'll decimate you. Wipe away you're existence._ "Yes. She's gone. If you hadn't have..."

"You don't want to do this, Cass," spoke Lightning, her own weapon aimed at his temple. She understood now what Hope had meant. Cass was unpredictable and unstable. The only thing that had been even remotely holding him back had been Kori. But now that his master was gone, he was a rabid dog on the beginnings of a rampage. She didn't want to hurt Cass. Despite herself, she had grown to care for him somewhat and had become accustomed to his presence within her life. And on some level, she knew exactly how Cass was feeling. She had been just like him once upon a time. When Serah had been crystallized, everything had become a target. She had been ready to tear apart the whole world. Her blame had become misplaced, just as Cass' had now.

Cass only sneered at her. "What do you know, Lightning? I have no one left."

_Don't make me do this._ "You have your father and your mother."

"Haven't you been listening?" Cass looked toward Lightning, his gun still pointed toward Hope. "I hate my father. He means nothing to me. And you all gave up on the crystals." He turned back to his captive locked within his sights. "Who the hell knows what'll happen to Cocoon now? My sister was all I had and now..."

_You think you have nothing._ Hope recognized that look, it was the same look he'd faced in the mirror so many times. A look of emptiness and resignation. Cass had abandoned his hope long ago. Now that the last of his happiness was gone, so was any semblance of the Cass that Hope had once known. "Cass, I'm sorry."

The brunet grit his teeth, resisting the urge to just pull the trigger already. He knew he couldn't. "You should be!" he yelled. "I thought you were my friend, Hope."

Hope winced at the words and the underlined pain hidden behind the enraged tone. "I am." His hand laid on his chest, just over his thumping heart. He was his friend. He _was_.

"What was it that you said? 'He's dangerous. He welcomes death.' Yeah, some friend you are," he hissed.

Hope's eyes widened as his heart thundered in his chest. _How did he..._

"I guess it's kinda true, though. Not all of us can grow up to become powerful and important like you. So kind and perfect. With people who care about you. You're a true _idol_."

"I'm not going to say it again." Lightning stepped forward, only hesitating when Cass' finger curled tighter around the trigger. "Drop it."

Cass' lip curled with a mocking smile, his chuckle passing through the air, truly amused at the situation. "This seems fitting. I kill you avenging Kori's death. Lightning in turn kills me for you. Too bad there's no one here to avenge me. Heh, like anyone cares." With that, he raised his gun fully, ready to shoot. It was time for Hope Estheim to pay for his crimes.

"Please, Cass, don't-" The gunshot rang out and everything stopped for Hope. The sound bounced off of his eardrums and permeated his consciousness, ripping him apart before he could tell who'd pulled the trigger and who'd been shot. No matter what, the outcome would devastate him.

But as he reentered reality, he was met with confusion. Neither Lightning nor Cass had shot off a single round. Though a shot had definitely been made.

And it had landed within Cass Leonald's heart.

The lifeless body fell forward into Hope. The teen caught him only to fall back onto the concrete. Cass' limp body laid within his stunned and horrified arms. Hope could only stare into his friend's dead face as he felt every inch of his dead body and every ounce of his dead weight on top of him. Cass was dead. Cass had just been alive, had just been standing there in front of him, and now he was dead.

Lightning didn't allow her stun to remain for long. The shot had come from somewhere. If it hadn't been her or Hope, then who shot Cass? One quick look to the left as footsteps echoed toward her showed her who. Barsilisk was coming at them, his gun drawn and aimed. She ducked just as another shot went off. Growling, she shot off a few rounds back, hitting him square in the chest with each bullet. She cursed as it didn't deter him in his approach.

Running to Hope's side, Lightning saw how withdrawn Hope was. Cass' death had temporarily debilitated him. She didn't know just how crippled he was until her calls to him seemed to go unheard. "Hope!" She yanked Cass from Hope's lap and pulled him up, cringing at the fact that his expression had not changed. "We have to go, Hope."

* * *

Zalera swiftly spun on her heel as Lightning entered the ship dragging Hope behind her. "Finally-"

"We have no time." Letting go of Hope's hand, she sat the man down. She then ran to the front, flipping the switch to shut the ship's hatch. "Get us up, Sazh. Now."

Sazh nodded, knowing that look in the soldier's eye. Trouble was coming. But even if they got into the air and left the city, trouble would still be on their heels. They were luring them out, after all. The ship ascended into the air, Sazh's nerves causing the take-off to be a bit on the shaky side.

"Barsilisk was on our tail, but at least he knows we're leaving. He'll tell Castea and they'll follow." She hoped that would be so, anyway. Lightning went back over to Hope and knelt before him. He sat unchanged. His pallor was completely pale, almost deathly white. A flush of pain and fear stained his cheeks, the only color to remain. Emerald orbs stared out past reality. Hope had retreated into his mind completely and Lightning couldn't stand it. She ripped off her gloves and threw them to the side, sliding her now bare hands along his cool face. She swiped away his sweaty bangs from his lost gaze and let her hands rest against his cheeks as she stared imploringly into his eyes. "Hope." She tried to find something to grasp within him, something to help her pull him out of this state but he was just... gone. Her thumbs ran soothingly over his face, her calloused pads caressing his smooth skin. "Please, be okay."

Recognizing his state, Zalera knew it was no use. Hope was lost in shock. He was of no use at the moment and fretting over his frayed consciousness would only hurt more than help. So, she grabbed Lightning's gunblade from her holster and before Lightning could comment, she slammed the hilt down on the back of his head. Hope fell to the side, unconscious.

"What do you think you're doing?" the roseate screeched, tearing her weapon from Zalera's grasp.

Zalera grabbed Lightning by the shoulders before she could do anything hasty. "He's better this way. Trust me. He'll be better when he wakes up. But we need you focused." She let go of Lightning, eye contact remaining until the younger curtly nodded. "Any sight yet, Sazh?"

"Not yet."

Lightning stared at Hope's unconscious form for a long moment before shaking her head and heading towards Sazh and Zalera at the front. She sat beside the pilot, giving a firm nod to his hesitant welcoming smile. "We need to go. Fast."

The man raised a brow. "How fast...?"

"Fast." Lightning's gaze locked on the purple button, indicating the speed in which she meant.

Sazh nodded, his finger grazing the shiny surface of the button. "Everyone buckled?"

Zalera ran back, hastily buckling up the sleeping Hope while silently apologizing for the hit, and then scrambled into her own seat and secured herself down. "Ready."

"Where are we going?"

Lightning stared straight ahead, expression unyielding of the conflict within her being. "Away. Those ships will leave the city after us, but I don't want them to have the chance to follow us. I don't care where we go, we just need to go fast. They can't have him, Sazh."

He nodded, feeling her intense determination. Hesitant eyes looked out over the wide expanse of Pulse laid out ahead of them. He was leaving Dajh again. And it was killing him, but he was steering the trouble away from his son. In the end, it was the best that Sazh could do to protect him. With a sigh, he pushed the button.

* * *

Castea smirked from her perch atop one of the last standing structures of Academia. She watched soldiers of the Corps and officers of the Academy gathering below it, all speaking heatedly to one another. It seemed that a rift had formed within the protectors of Academia. Loyalties were being tested, causing some of the director's people to turn away from him and his cause.

"Perfect." Parts of Academia were falling apart that she hadn't even expected. With the soldiers losing faith, she could snatch them up to fight for her. More soldiers for her side, and another fatal blow to Hope.

"Why don't we stop this bickering here?" Castea appeared before the large group of soldiers. Some drew up their weapons in defense, while others merely stared, too exhausted from fighting or too stunned to move. Some, though, looked rather intrigued.

Castea repressed a snicker. She could turn over these soldiers without a problem. It was almost too easy. "I have a proposition for you."

One soldier of the Guardian Corps immediately fired toward the woman. The bullets merely bounced off of the shield surrounding her. "Don't listen to her. It's Castea. Their leader."

"She's the one who's caused all of this!" hollered another soldier.

An officer stepped forward then, hatred in her eyes. "Why the hell should we listen to you?" She raised her gunblade up, aiming in between Castea's eyes.

The l'Cie simply looked down the barrel with amusement. "I don't know what your director's been telling you, but I am not the enemy. I simply want what the rest of you want."

"Enough of this", cried a soldier. Running up to the woman, he went to slash her with his blade, only to be shot in between his shoulder blades. The soldier fell, dead.

All eyes looked to the shooter, the man being Major Sykes of the Guardian Corps. "Put that gun down, officer. Let's hear what the lady has to say."

"But Majo-"

The man held his hand up, silencing the officer. "What is it that you think we want?"

"Why, your dear planet, of course." Castea glanced at the floating sphere above them, withholding a sneer. "Your planet is locked in crystal, holding everyone you hold dear inside. You want your families and your friends back, don't you?" A few hesitant nods were given from the tense group before her. "And you want out of this 'hell' and back on your home planet, correct?"

"There's no bringing Cocoon back. It's dead. So is everyone inside," stated the unimpressed major.

"Incorrect," Castea informed with a smile. "The planet, as well as its inhabitants, are simply in crystal stasis. Your very own director came back from his stasis, did he not? Cocoon can as well." She let her words sink in as she came to stand before the major. "Major Sykes, I believe."

The tall man nodded as he removed his helmet, staring into her wolfish features. "Why would you care for Cocoon?"

"I simply want everything back the way it was. I'm preventing a war, really. The rest of my kind is ready to take down Cocoon while it's in such a vulnerable state. I just want peace."

"Funny way of showing it," he spat as his body went rigid, ready to strike.

"I'm sorry, but it was the only way that I could get through to your director. He's been denying me at every proposal. Of course, I'm not surprised. He is a Pulse l'Cie, after all. It could very well be his focus to start another war and kill off all on Cocoon." She watched the uncertainty and rage flicker across the soldiers' expressions. This was fun. "Don't you want to see your fiance again?" she asked Sykes as she watched his eyes widen. His tense shoulders eased as his grip on his weapon slackened.

"Major, don't, she's the enemy-" The first sergeant at Sykes' side stopped when he sent him a glare. But he wasn't going to let the creator of this madness, this mass murderer, sweet talk his people. No, Castea had to die. Hesitantly, he raised his weapon and took his stance. "I don't care what this vile l'Cie has to say. She's torn apart our city, killed our people. I stand with our Director." A few shouts of agreement came from behind him as others took their stand.

"And where is your director now?" The rebelling soldiers wavered slightly, but otherwise did not give in. "He's retreated back to Pulse. Back to where his true loyalty lies. He left with his other l'Cie friends and the Pulsian woman. He is not your leader." Castea sneered. "He never was."

Major Sykes' hand went to his pauldron before he ripped it off of his uniform. He then stood beside Castea, declaring his allegiance. Many under his command within the group joined him as well. And soon, only seven lone soldiers and officers stood their ground before them.

Castea could hardly contain her cackles. "Are you sure you want to remain with your treacherous Director Estheim?"

The sergeant trembled as he looked upon his own people beside their enemy. He couldn't believe it. But he did believe in Academia. He did believe in his Director. He believed, and he would never betray his beliefs. With a salute to his leader and his city, the man fell back into his stance. "I'll never join you."

The Pulsian gave a glance to the major at her side who nodded. She wouldn't even have to lift a finger.

Castea watched as the last loyal soldiers were killed off by their former comrades, chuckling at the scene. _Why did you even try to resist me, Hope?_

* * *

A burst of hot air flew at them as the building crumbled. The blast caused Maqui to fall to the ground, rocks and glass shards nicking his skin through his tattered clothing. The bitter taste of dirt laid on his tongue even after he'd spat out the bits of grainy earth. "Ugh..." Dazed blue eyes rolled as he attempted to drag himself off of the pavement. A muscular arm wrapped around him, sweeping him up and righting him on his feet before he could blink.

"You with me, kid?" asked Gadot as he stood before his younger friend. He glanced at the building a ways from them that was now in ruins and grimaced.

"...Yeah, I'm good. As much as possible," Maqui grumbled.

Gadot nodded and turned to Amodar who was scrambling to regain control. The entire city was taking hits left and right. It appeared that no one could stop it. The burly man's jaw clenched as he watched soldiers continue to try to dig out his dear friend. They were using far too much man power for one woman. One woman who they hadn't even heard from since the comm system went down. She could have already died for all they knew - the soldiers would just have been wasting their time and risking their lives for nothing. But if there was anyone Gadot would risk anything for, it was family. And Lebreau was family.

The general paused beside Gadot, eyeing the scene with a weary eye. "Estheim and Farron have taken off with Katzroy and Zalera. The rest should follow soon."

Gadot grunted, hating the fact that they were basically leaving the conflict to the four of them. "I don't like it."

Nodding, Amodar understood. He didn't like it at all. Who could say what would happen to the group once they were out of the city and being hunted down by Castea's crew. Hope and Lightning were so much more than his colleagues and soldiers and he cared greatly for their well-being and safety. But this action was needed to save the city. He had to believe this move would work in their favor, for they were out of options. "There is nothing that can be done about it now."

"And we're just going to leave Alyssa and Reuben to fend for themselves, too?"

He clenched his eyes closed for that one. They could fight to get Lebreau, there was still hope and possible accessibility to get her out. But the Academy building was far too unsteady. They needed more people and more resources in order to get to them. They had no choice. "There's nothing we can do for them now."

* * *

A sudden hit to their right wing snapped them all out of their daze. Sazh looked to the monitors to see a few rather large Sanctum ships hot on their tail. He cursed as he quickly dipped the ship down low, avoiding a missile intended for their hull. "Lightning, I need you to-"

"Got it." Grabbing the weapon controls, Lightning readied herself to fire. _You want a fight, Castea? I'll give you a fight. You won't have him._ At their heightened speed, it was harder to target, but not impossible. Lightning hadn't exactly been trained for such combat, though she knew the basics. She just had to strike them down before they were brought down first.

Zalera fought the urge to throw up as the ship swerved and shook. Flight was apparently something the Pulsian was not taking a liking to. She watched those upfront with wide eyes. Sazh's and Lightning's movements were hurried and fearful, but determined. They were making their best effort to protect all within the ship. Zalera felt useless in this instance. She was not helping at all and was only allowing the others to fight. She swatted away those thoughts and kept her focus on keeping herself and Hope safe in their seats.

Lightning smirked as she managed to land a deathly blow onto one of the ships. It tumbled down to the ground leaving only two to follow. Fighting back a stinging pain in her abdomen and thigh as well as the fogginess threatening her vision, the soldier continued to fire at the enemy, biting her cheek at every miss and inwardly celebrating every hit. Though as their craft continued to take damage, she felt a sinking feeling in her gut begin to overtake the pain of the wound in her stomach.

A missile came at them that Sazh was unable to evade and it hit right into the side of their ship. The side pod had taken too much damage now. If he didn't release it, it would lead to their fall. The problem was that the lever to detach the smaller ship was in the back with Zalera and Hope. "Zalera, I need your help!" he shouted, trying to yell over the noise of the alarms now going off around them.

"Shit!" Lightning was running low on missiles and ammunition. She couldn't afford to waste any more shots.

Zalera unclipped her belt and cried out as she immediately fell to the floor. She had grossly underestimated the ship's speed and how rocky the flight was. Walking alone was going to be tough. "What do you need?"

"There's a lever over by the left side hub, opposite of Hope. I need you to pull it. Think ya can do that?"

"No problem," she replied as she stared at the red lever and gave a breath. Heaving herself up, she made her way towards it, finding herself being tossed about with Sazh's jerky movements and the enemy's hits. By the time she made it to her goal, she found herself grasping onto the lever for dear life. She pulled the lever down, hearing a click of release.

"Okay," Sazh called after seeing the light indicating that Zalera had done as asked. "There should be a panel next to it. Open it and put in the code. It's 'three-seven-nine'."

Zalera's nails scraped against the metal interior of the ship as she tried to grip the handle of the panel. "C'mon," she whispered, sweat beading on her forehead. When she managed to get a good hold on the thing, she jerked it open and came to face the keypad inside. She counted the numbers off as she pressed them and when it was all done, she let out a sigh of relief. "Alri-" Zalera found herself flying into the wall as Sazh took a sharp turn. Her head hit hard into the metal and she fell to the floor as she soon lost consciousness.

"Zalera!" Sazh felt the ship give as the pod fell from its side. Zalera had accomplished her job, but what had happened to her? "Za-"

"There's no time to worry. Focus, Sazh."

"But she-"

"Will be fine." Lies. Zalera had been knocked out, Lightning could see her in the monitor. If someone didn't buckle her up, she'd end up sliding this way and that, getting hurt even more. But they couldn't risk leaving their posts.

Another sudden jolt to the ship had Lightning's belt constricting against her wounded abdomen. That was another thing that needed to be tended to soon. Her eyelids were getting heavy and her vision was fading. The pain of her wounds and her possibly cracked skull was beginning to take over her functions and soon enough...

Sazh watched out of the corner of his eye as Lightning's head fell forward, her hands loosening on the controls until her arms fell to her sides. She passed out.

* * *

_The beach was as beautiful as any other day._ _Bodhum_ _'_ _s ocean tides were calm and gracious, lapping gently at the sand. The brilliant sun was beginning to sink out of sight within the sea, as if it chose to take a dip in the water. Its dying rays shimmered over the ocean as it rippled. Birds flew overhead, singing and chirping amongst themselves. The light breeze floated about the scene, bringing with it the natural and innocent fragrance of salt, sand and serenity. The cheery beach dwellers laughed and played, their mirthful joy adding to the sunny atmosphere._

_Lightning stood in the soft sand, the warm waves licking at her toes as the cooling air brushed against her face. She watched with a sense of pure tranquility as Serah swam in the distance. Calm blue eyes watched her sister's form in the water, happy to just watch and oversee._

_A content smile tugged at Lightning's lips. Her sister was happy. She could see it in the way Serah let herself float carelessly on the surface of the sea. She could see it in the way Serah danced in the sun's caressing light as the water splashed around her. She could see it in her sister's blissful smile as she waved towards her, beckoning her closer._

_Lightning rolled her eyes and knowing of Serah's persistency she gave in, taking a step towards the outstretched hand in the distance. But it wasn't Lightning that Serah was calling for. This became clear when Snow ran past the elder Farron, his heroic grin in place as he scooped up his giggling wife and spun her around. Serah laughed and kissed her husband passionately as they twirled. She wrapped her arms around the large man's neck as she was set down and rubbed her nose softly against his. Snow stood by her side, drinking in the sight of the ending of a normal day._

_Lightning arms fell limply to her sides as she took a few stunned steps back. Her stomach dropped at the sight. Snow had taken her place. Lightning was no longer the one to bring Serah peace and happiness. She was no longer her protection and guide. Snow had replaced her. The hero had swooped in and stolen the princess away, leaving the dragon to wilt in loneliness._

_The gaping hole within Lightning only began to grow deeper when two young children ran to Serah's and Snow's sides. A small girl with long, blonde ponytails gripped Serah's waist as a young boy with short, pink, curly hair and a broad grin jumped onto Snow's shoulders. Along with the title of Mrs. Villiers, Serah had gained the title of mother. She now had two beautiful kids. Serah had a family. Her own family._

_Every limb of Lightning's tensed with loss. Her baby sister had grown up. She truly didn't need her anymore. What was she to do with her life? For years she had been the protector and caretaker of her sister. Now that Serah no longer needed her, what was to become of her?_

_That daunting question stilled her thoughts as well as her torrent of emotions. Lightning watched as the four of them laughed together as they played in the calm waves of the ocean. There was a deep love and connection within that family that she would never be a part of. Lightning longed for it, that sense of love and happiness, security and peace._

_She would never find it._

_A light murmur began to buzz in her ear then and Lightning swatted viciously at it as if it were a fly. She couldn't be bothered. She had to watch her sister. If she took her eyes away, Lightning knew she'd never be able to find her. The murmur began to grow louder, forming into more coherent words as time drew on. Lightning growled as her eyes focused on her sister's bright, loving face._

_"Light..." a small voice seemed to whisper. The solder blinked at the name, but kept herself devoted to Serah. Her name kept repeating over and over, slowly becoming louder. As it grew more coherent and audible, Serah began to fade._

_"Light... Light... Light... Light..." Lightning reached out toward Serah, but she was already gone, as if having dimmed out of existence. Serah had drifted away like dust in the wind._

_Devastation came to the elder Farron's features as she was left with only the voice in her ear. Hostility burned within her. She couldn't let Serah go. She was her life._

_"Light..."_

_Her murderous rage was quickly extinguished when the call of her name became soothing, like a melodious hum._

_She recognized that voice and she almost yearned for its owner to appear. "Light... Light..." It was so familiar_ _,_ _yet she couldn't quite place who the voice belonged to. "Light..." Bright, compassionate, green eyes. "Light..." A wide, vibrant, heartwarming smile. "Light..." A gentle, calming caress. "Light..." It was just out of reach..._

"Lightning!"

* * *

Lightning awoke to her name being frantically called by Sazh. The blurry world swirled before her as everything danced in her vision. Her head swayed from side to side, lulling her to almost doze off again until a large blast shook the entirety of the ship, snapping Lightning into grabbing the controls and regaining full control of her faculties.

A flood of relief came over Sazh as Lightning rejoined him and began attacking once again. He swerved the ship to the right, narrowly escaping a hefty hit. But it was no use. They'd taken far too much damage. They were going down. It was just a matter of whether they would surrender or crash land.

Lightning could sense it too. Alarms were blaring all around them, screeching that the ship could no longer handle flying. But she wasn't going to give up.

"We need to land, Lightning. Before this thing loses all control."

"We're not giving in, Sazh. I'll die before I let her win."

Sazh's eyes widened as he looked to his copilot. Lightning knew full well the inevitability of their crashing. She was just choosing to ignore it and fight instead of thinking rationally. _We could all die._

But it mattered not. Not anymore. A final barrage of rounds tore up the back of the hull causing a small explosion to create a giant hole in their ship. They were going down.

* * *

_The gunshot rang out, yet he felt no pain. There was no new hole inside of him, telling of the bullet lying within his body. No, that bullet was in the man in front of him. The man that was no longer his best friend. The man that had become such a stranger in so few years. The man that had been literally threatening him with death only moments ago and didn't care for the opposition he'd received in return._

_Cass' body fell onto him, soon to lay murdered in his lap as Hope would look down upon this newly slain corpse and only stare. The gunshots around him held no meaning. Lightning's cries were, at best, an afterthought. For Hope could not move, could not stir. It wasn't Cass' eyes he was looking into, but his father's._

_It wasn't Cass laying face down on top of him, but his father with his back to Hope's chest, lifeless in his arms. Hope's shock wasn't leading him to stare into dulling violet eyes, but into lens-covered hazel. Instead of Lightning protecting him and calling his name, it was Nivien._

_Hope looked up, away from those hauntingly empty eyes, and came to see that he was in a hall of the Academy, dead soldiers laying around him. A deep, unshakable coldness seeped into his body as dread crept upon him. His arms wrapped around his father's body, trying to find that warmth and protection that he had once been able to find there. But it was gone._

_"What? Not happy to see me, Hope?"_

_Hope's head jerked up sharply at the voice. There ahead of him was not the assassin he remembered, but Castea, wielding the gun that had killed his father and his men. The woman's white robe and porcelain skin were saturated and smeared with blood, though where all of it had come from remained to be seen._

_Nivien ran up from behind Hope, weapon ready and aimed for the woman. Before the silveret could warn her to stop, she was shot down easily by the cackling l'Cie. Nivien's body fell to the ground with a thud, the sound echoing loudly in Hope's ear drums._

_"Honestly, are you really just going to keep sitting there holding her like that? She's not just going to reawaken."_

_Clutching tighter to the body in his grasp, Hope scowled at the woman. Before he could retort, the words settled into his skull as confusion struck him. With a furrowed brow, Hope looked down at the body in his lap only to gape at the sight. His father's body no longer laid in his protection. It was Lightning's._

_"She's dead," Castea hissed with a pleased smile._

_Hope's lip quivered as his eyes scanned over the limp figure in his possession. Quickly shifting her in his arms, Hope shook her lightly, attempting to coax a reaction._ This can't be happening. You can't die. You can't- _A gloved hand cupped her cheek as he stared into pale blue eyes that appeared to grow duller by the second. Her name fell from his lips almost desperately as he clutched her cold form to his chest. With a pained gasp, he rested his forehead against hers, whispering for her to wake up._

_When she never stirred, Hope swallowed thickly, his mind, his soul, his entire being begging for vengeance. A light breeze drifted over him and Hope looked up, bewildered once again. He was no longer in the Academy building, but at the base of Cocoon. It appeared that the monitoring facility that had been built around it didn't exist. As Hope looked out, he noticed that Academia no longer stood. Only plains and plains of Pulse surrounded the crystallized planet._

_Hope stood, Lightning's body still in his grasp, as he looked at Castea with rage filled irises. "You'll pay for this," he growled lowly._

_Castea's smirk deepened. "For her? Or for them?" Her bony index finger pointed to Hope's feet, showing him what he'd missed._

_"No..." All of them were scattered around him in the grass, dead. Fang, Vanille, Sazh, Snow, Serah, all of them lay dead around him. Farther off, he could see others, such as those of NORA, Rygdea, and so on. They were all dead._

_"Now that there's nothing left to fight about..." Castea snapped her fingers and they were all gone. Everyone disappeared, leaving just him, the vicious woman before him, and a vivid blue crystal in between them. "...we can get on with the show."_

_Hope stared down at his arms, feeling so very empty with the loss of Lightning's weight. All of the fury, all of the venomous pain that he had just been feeling, vanished in an instant as his eyes gazed into the floating crystal in front of him. It hovered there, unassuming and unwavering._

_Hope looked upon the crystal and felt nothing. He only felt numb. Slender fingers reached out toward the crystal, fully ready to grasp his destiny to destroy all that was his planet. There was nothing left anyway..._

* * *

A light smoke drifted through his nostrils as Hope began to stir. While the cobwebs began to clear from his mind, he could feel trembling hands carding through his hair. He opened his eyes tiredly to see Lightning sitting beside him, staring off with a storm of emotions warring in her irises. His hand reached up and grabbed Lightning's wrist, ceasing her movements. A light gasp left her as Hope slid his hand into her own, lacing their fingers together. "Hey," he spoke groggily. Hope lightly cleared his throat as it felt painfully raw.

Lightning gave a watery smile. "Hey..."

It was peaceful, laying there with Lightning at his side and her attention solely placed on him. He could pretend, if only for one moment, that it was just them. The world didn't matter. He didn't have to think or worry. It was just them.

Lightning slipped her hand from his as she attempted to guard herself. It was so much harder than ever. She knew he could see through the cracks of her mask. The tough as nails persona that no one dared to question might as well have been transparent when it came to the teen. She didn't know if she liked or hated him for it. "I'm sorry."

And the moment evaporated, its ephemeral beauty fluttering away before it could be acknowledged. "What...?" Hope's hand went to the back of his head as he felt a dull throb wrack his brain. "What happened?"

Her features turned grim as she looked down on him. What was she to say? That they'd crashed their only transportation and were now stuck on some mountain in the far reaches of Pulse? That he had been knocked out by Zalera because he had no longer been able to deal with his pain? That his best friend had died while trying to kill him? That his city had crumbled while he was powerless to save it? How far back was she to go?

Her hesitation led him to carefully sitting up, a groan slipping from him as he felt the incredible soreness in all reaches of his body. "What, Light?" He saw her eyes settle on his shoulder which he could tell had been bandaged. _But what...?_

The bullet. The bullet that had torn through Cass' heart had grazed the top of his shoulder. His shock had been so overwhelming that he had hardly noticed it at the time. Now it was clear. It was all clear. Hope's stiff fingers gripped his head as his throbbing headache grew. With each pound, a new memory reemerged from the howling abyss they had fallen into. "Cass is dead."

Lightning's eyes clenched shut as her head turned away from the man. She didn't want to see anymore of Hope's pain. She couldn't face it. She couldn't face him. She'd failed, again, to protect him. She'd let Cass die. Lightning had to live with that.

That and the fact that if Barsilisk had been one second slower, she would have been the one to kill Cass. She would have killed his best friend.

His hand squeezed hers as he attempted to look into her eyes, but she wouldn't allow him the pleasure. She felt his other hand cup her cheek as he brought her to face him. She allowed it, too drained to deny him anymore. His smile threw her, though, as she felt a rush of life and energy stream through her body from his caress of her face. Instantly her wounds and pain were healed, her fogged and dulled senses sharpened.

Hope gave her a light kiss on the forehead as he stood up, weak on his feet. He leaned against the wall, heaving in breaths as he began to cast cure spells on himself. It was premature to do so, but he'd been out of commission for too long. He'd allowed everyone else to fight for him and now it was his turn to enter the game. He had a world to save.

He took the time to survey his surroundings to find that he was in a small tunnel of a cave. It was chilly and Hope could see frost along the stone walls and small icicles hanging from the rough ceiling. A ways down from them he could see Zalera and Sazh laying around a small fire. They were okay, at least. They looked a little banged up, but they seemed to be peacefully sleeping.

"We escaped from the city," Lightning began as she stood. She went to help Hope stand better so he wouldn't have to rely so heavily on the frigid wall, but he shook his head, denying the assistance. "They followed. We fought them for as long as we could, but... we were struck down. We crashed in the Argodian Mountains. Castea hasn't shone her face yet. I'm sure she's just waiting around to see what we'll do." Lightning's hands fisted at her sides. She wanted to rip that woman to shreds.

Hope nodded and sighed. He walked unsteadily to Zalera and Sazh and touched their foreheads lightly, not wanting to wake them. When he finished healing their injuries, he fell back into Lightning, fighting the urge to sleep.

"Why must you always overexert yourself like this?" Lightning hissed as she helped him sit against the wall.

Hope tried to answer, but the words only tumbled out in the form of a groan. His body was exhausted and using his magic in such a state was stupid. He knew that. But they were all hurt because of him. He had to fix it. He had to heal all of their pain away. Since he couldn't properly explain that to Lightning, he gave her a look, urging her to let it go.

She did so reluctantly. Sitting beside him, Lightning remained while he dozed off. She stayed at his side as Sazh and Zalera woke up and inquired about his condition. She stayed at his side as the other two went off to collect what they could from the remains of the ship. And she remained at his side until he came to again. Ever the watchful protector.

* * *

Snow drifted in through the cave's entrance. Nostalgic eyes watched it fall and collect on the ground, the flakes slowly drawing nearer and nearer as time passed. It was odd, the snow. On Cocoon, snow only occurred at the fal'Cie's command. And never did it snow in Palumpolum. When Hope had woken up after the fall, the hazy world around him had been covered in the white fluff. The snow had been the first thing to welcome him back to the world. The snow and the crystallized statues around him had been the only things that kept him company on the cold and lonely plain of pulse.

Lightning watched the shadows of the flames of their little fire dance along the walls around them. Even though she was sitting right beside the fire, it was frigid, but not as frigid as the silence surrounding her. "I'm sorry about Cass." Her words seemed to hang in the air, just as frozen and overwhelming as the weather. Alert eyes scanned over their surroundings before they settled on the man at her side. His expression was bland as he contemplated her words. For this, her unease only deepened. Hope was the most expressive man she'd ever met. When he outwardly reserved his emotion, there was usually a storm brewing inside.

The young director hummed as he acknowledged her apology. It was unnecessary. Extremely so. None of it had been her fault. Though he supposed she would feel some responsibility. It was Lightning, after all. She tended to make all burdens and mistakes her own. "I know."

Hope retreated into his mind for the next few minutes, replaying the event and meticulously combing over every action. It was surprising that Cass had survived for as long as he had. The old Lightning would have killed anyone that got in her way, especially anyone that threatened those precious to her. Lightning was changing. Or maybe... she was finding her more humane side. "Thank you... for your hesitation."

Her jaw clenched in response. She should have shot him down. She should have killed Cass the moment he'd threatened Hope. "I would have killed him if it had come to it."

"I know." The knowledge of that weighed heavily on his mind. He was extremely grateful that she hadn't. "But you hesitated."

If she had used anymore caution on the kid, it would have been Hope's blood on her hands. Even knowing how close Hope was to danger, to death, something had stopped her. _Why couldn't I have just pulled the damn trigger?_ "I'm sorry. I let him get so close to-" His hand closing around hers drew her into silence as they locked gazes.

"You gave him a chance. Thank you." Hope punctuated this with a light peck on her lips before pulling away and staring down at his hands in his lap.

That had most certainly not been the response she'd been expecting. He was grateful. He didn't blame her, he didn't accuse her, he didn't yell at her. He thanked her. That came as a bit of a shock.

Hope stared down at his hands, only now noticing that he'd lost a glove sometime in the day. The lone glove on his right hand was in shabby shape. Cuts and tiny burn holes marred its appearance. Its frayed edges had worsened. Dirt covered the ratty thing as it stuck to his hand uncomfortably, reminding him of just how long he'd had it on and what he had gone through. He squinted his eyes as he noticed faint traces of something along the seam. He visibly tensed when he realized that it was... "Blood," he murmered, restraining himself from violently ripping off the glove and throwing it as far away from him as possible.

He didn't know where the blood had come from, Cass, Emilina, Jun, Arden, Lightning, it could have even come from himself. It didn't really matter. It was there, a memento of the day that he had let so many people down.

There was literally blood on his hands.

Hope jolted as Lightning lifted herself over him, straddling his lap as she kissed him passionately, if not roughly. She wanted to show him how grateful she was. How happy she was that he was there, alive, and with her. She felt his arms snake around her and pull her closer to him as he kissed her back with equal fervor. She felt calm, serene in his embrace and she relished it. They'd made it through the chaos, through all of the trauma, and were able to still take the time to be together. She truly appreciated that. For even though they had been in that same position just the day before, kissing and ignoring the world in favor of their passion, she had felt such a distance, a rift forming between them over the course of the day. This reminded her of what she had, and what she never wanted to lose.

It was too overwhelming. The whole day. Every incident, battle, and death bore down on Hope. No matter how much he tried to push everything away, it all managed to stay, weighing heavily on his being. Irrepressible. Immovable.

But as Lightning slid herself against him, her lips against his and her hands in his hair, he found his mind batting away at it all a little easier. And so he kissed her back harder. He wanted to drown himself in Lightning. Lose himself in her passion, in his love for her. The one thing he could never regret was his love for Lightning. Although it had taken time for her to acknowledge his feelings and discover her own, she accepted him for who he was. For his achievements and his failures. When he was a hero and when he was cowering in an icy mountain.

Quickly, Hope began to take over their kisses more and more, becoming the more dominant one. He pushed Lightning down on the floor and nestled himself in between her legs, still hungrily attacking her mouth and hardly allowing enough time for them to breathe. Slender hands slid up and down her thighs, caressing the creamy skin as he kissed and nipped down her pale neck. He loved Lightning. He did. Currently, he wanted nothing more than to crawl inside of her chest and stay there forever. He held her tighter, unconsciously ignoring her questioning call of his name and swallowed anything more she had to say as he returned his attention to her mouth.

Everything was all right. Everything was just fine. All he needed was Lightning.

Hope was being aggressive. Lightning had been quite stunned when he had suddenly taken over and laid them down on the ground. She enjoyed it, really. He was usually so gentle and soothing whenever they were intimate. As if any rough treatment would break the connection they had. This was a side to Hope that was rather exciting. But as her calls to him went unnoticed and his touches and kisses seemed to grow more desperate, she realized something was wrong. The soldier began to half-heartedly push him away, pulling herself back from him. Something just wasn't right.

It took him too long to notice Lightning's resistance. When he did, he yanked himself back, practically jumping as far away from the woman as he could. He wasn't quite sure what had happened to him. One minute he was seeking comfort and the next he was ravaging an unwilling Lightning.

Lightning lay there for a moment until her stun wore off. She sat up, collecting herself and smoothing down her hair. She mentally forced away the caresses that still lingered on her skin. Warily she looked over Hope, watching him tremble and curse.

The Academy director sat against the wall, willing himself not to snap. He felt the world bearing down upon him and he would no doubt crumble. "I-It wasn't my intention to..." He cleared his throat, swallowing the sandpapery feeling. He hated that he'd used Lightning as a distraction. He just wanted to feel something good again. Something warm and soothing and real.

Shaking her head, Lightning scooted beside him just enough that their thighs and shoulders brushed together. This was still all so incredibly new for the soldier, but she found that it all came naturally when she was with Hope. She just let herself go. He brought out a side to her that she hadn't seen in years. She loved it.

But this wasn't about her. It wasn't even about them. This was about Hope dealing with the hell he'd been through since that morning.

_No, since he was fourteen._

Lightning took his chin in her hand and forced his gaze upon her. His eyes were dark, darker than she'd ever remembered them being, but it didn't deter her in the least. She kissed him slowly, her tongue lightly caressing the roof of his mouth. All she could really do now was attempt to comfort him. She sucked on his lower lip before pulling away. Lightning would be there for him, in any way she could. "I'm here, Hope. We'll get through this."

Hope stiffened at the words. He wanted them to calm him, to assuage all of his struggling emotions and tormenting memories. But they didn't. He knew how this fight would end. This was his battle. It wasn't their little band of l'Cie against the world anymore. In the end, it was just him.

Exhausted green irises fell back upon the lone glove once again. He couldn't carry that weight on him anymore. In one swift movement, Hope tore off the glove and threw it into the fire. He waited and watched as the flames began to lap at the cloth, tasting it, before beginning to greedily consume it completely.

The grim satisfaction did virtually nothing to stop his chaotic thoughts. The bloody evidence of his sins may have been destroyed, but the guilt would remain within him forever.

* * *

Zalera and Sazh stood at the entrance to the cave, allowing the two to have their moment. The Pulsian sighed, staring out into the large expanse of white that covered the dark night. She was back in her world. Pulse. It wasn't as comforting or as thrilling as she would have thought it to be. Rather, it churned her stomach. There was nothing left for her out here. Only haunting memories and lasting remnants of her origin.

"How can you stand this? It's freezin' out here. I can hardly feel my toes," Sazh exclaimed as he wiggled his feet.

"Growing up on Pulse toughens the skin. The weather has nothing on me." Taking in a large breath, Zalera let the crisp air flow through her lungs. Through the quiet and stillness, she was already forming a plan. Hope was going after the crystals. It had been inevitable from day one. Their only hope now was that he'd be able to control the power and steer it towards eliminating Belphagor. They would deal with the rest in due time.

Pulse was her territory. She was going to be the main one in charge of their travels. Since her previous tribe had been nomadic, she knew most of Pulse very well. Their first stop would be Pulse's castle; the place where he had departed from the world. It wasn't too far from their current position, though as she thought about the journey, a large amount of dread sunk into her gut.

Viridian eyes flashed towards the two sitting in silence within the cave. Protecting Hope wouldn't be easy. From then on she was going to have to worry about not only Castea, but other Pulsians as well. They would not be very welcoming of a previous Cocoon inhabitant. Certainly not the leader of their new civilization. The one who bore the mark of a l'Cie. "I'm afraid."

Sazh's brow furrowed, though he said nothing as he looked toward the woman at his side. He watched her feelings war over her expression. Zalera didn't care to hide her emotions, but she didn't exactly wear them on her sleeve either.

"Can we protect him?"

Now that was the question, wasn't it? Was their little team enough to protect Hope? This question seemed rather silly to the old man. From what he'd seen of Hope's skill and power, the kid could protect himself just fine. And Zalera and Lightning were both the most exceptional fighters he'd ever seen. "Why you lookin' so gloomy?" He clapped her on the back with a self-assured smile. "We can take care of the kid jus' fine. Now let's get back in there before these old bones turn to ice."

The emerald haired woman gave him a warm smile in return for his words. Sazh walked inside, but she did not follow. She stood there as she turned back to the frozen mountains before her, processing the day. One thing stood stark against the rest.

She remembered that look in Hope's eyes just before she'd knocked him out. She knew that look. It was the same look he'd given back in the Ark when thing's had seemed hopeless. The same look Yeul had given her that last time she'd seen her. The same look Zalera had had the days after she'd lost her first home - when she'd lost her family and most of herself along with them. The look of someone who was devastated and shattered beyond repair.

"Can we protect him from himself...?"


	22. Acquiescence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Can we protect him from himself...?"

It had taken some serious convincing on Hope's part to get Lightning to sleep. He'd volunteered to take the next watch, though Lightning hadn't readily agreed. He needed the time to think, to process without being watched. He swore to her that it would be okay. It was only fair that he take over some of the burden as watch while they were out on Pulse. It wasn't easy, but he was finally able to sit in peace while the rest of his comrades slept.

The four were still in their little cave in the Argodian mountains. It had been three days since the event in Academia - since he'd been chased out and forced to leave like a scurrying mouse. Although Hope had been able to heal all of their injuries, the group had collectively decided to stay. They all needed their rest and the crystal shards weren't going anywhere. The time would allow them all to fully process what had happened and what was going to occur soon.

Hope knew the real reason why they were waiting. They were keeping an eye on him. They wanted to make sure that he was okay, that he wasn't going to do anything rash.

The extra time was unneeded. There was nothing a little more time hiding away in a frozen wasteland was going to fix. He was responsible for the deaths of so many. Time couldn't change that.

The glowing fire's light shimmered across the faces of his allies. He sat and stared at each of them, wondering how they could stand to stay with him.

Zalera wanted Yeul back. Hope knew that the warrior felt that protecting Yeul had been her one purpose in life. Without the seeress, Zalera was nothing. Just a useless wanderer without a family, without hope, without any ties to this world. Hope was her last chance, or so she had said. If she could protect him, devote herself to him, then she could bear with the pain - the pain of living without Yeul. Zalera needed Hope just as much as he needed her.

Sazh needed his son. The man's motivation had always been his son. Sazh would follow Hope to the ends of Pulse if it meant that he could get Dajh back. Any thoughts that Sazh cared about Hope, as a son or otherwise, were just delusions. Dajh was all the pilot needed. If he had to use Hope to get him, so be it. Hope wasn't Sazh's friend. He was a means to get to his son.

And Lightning... Hope grimaced as he turned his head away from her serene face.

Lightning had no one without him. It was like Zalera, in a sense. Lightning's world had always revolved around Serah. Without her, the role of the ward went to Hope. He was Lightning's purpose. Hope wasn't entirely sure why she had agreed to be with him. Maybe her affection was only meant to amuse him, keep him happy, so he wouldn't keep her from her need to protect. That's all their relationship was; she would always be the guardian and he her charge. The protector and the weakling who needed protected.

Slowly and quietly, Hope stood. He gave one last glance over the group before turning and walking to the cave entrance, his steps light and stealthy. He'd made it four steps out of the cave before he was stopped by a very low and chilling voice.

"And just where are you going?" Zalera was pissed. Did the kid think that he could just slink off? Going to do gods knows what, gods knows where? He was very much wrong. "Lightning's going to kill you. If I don't first."

"Please don't, Zalera." His voice was weary and tired. He couldn't handle much more. He just needed time to himself. He needed to think without their meaningless coddling and light words of comfort. Hope needed time away from their prying gazes and merciless staring. If he was going to be able to sort out his muddled thoughts, it was going to be by himself. "I need this. I can't be here. I just need to go. Just for a little while," he pled.

Hope's sapped gaze hit Zalera with pity. She could see so much pain inside of his striking green irises and felt herself give. Everything was hollowing him out. If some sort of resolution to this conflict didn't come soon, Hope Estheim would be nothing but a shell of the once great man they'd all known.

"I'll be right back."

Even so, she couldn't just let him wander off by himself. He wasn't in his right mind and he couldn't really protect himself in such a state. _Or want to..._ She didn't quite understand his desire for space. When she'd lost her village, she didn't want to be alone. Because when she was alone, she realized how much she'd truly lost. That the people she really wanted to see, would never come back.

He'd apparently gotten to know the Pulsian a lot more than he had thought. Conflicted viridian eyes stared back at him and he could _feel_ her speculation, her words that were being tossed around in her head. She didn't trust him to go off by himself. She didn't understand his pure _need_ to get away before his sanity was completely shredded apart.

That loaded stare was one of the main reasons he had to get out. He couldn't stand it anymore. Whether she got it or not, he had to leave. "I will be _right_ back," he reiterated with some force. Zalera didn't need to understand, she just had to give him some time. He needed to find a way to fix what had been done. He couldn't do that around them.

Zalera's tense form slowly relaxed. She couldn't keep the kid at her side at all times. He wasn't a prisoner. She had no right to make him stay. _Firefly's going to have my head._ "You don't go too far," she demanded. "And if you aren't back within the hour, I'm hunting you down and our next chat won't be nearly as pleasant."

Hope nodded while a small smile graced his lips. An hour was more than enough time. "Thank you."

Hope walked away, Zalera watching as his form diminished in the distance. She was stupid. It was foolish to let him walk away. She was gambling with Hope's life by letting him go.

She trusted him, but her trust only extended so far. She knew what grief did to people. It was like a never-ending chasm that led only to madness.

* * *

Hope stood in the snow as it fell down upon him. It laid thickly around him, almost swallowing him as it came to just under his waist. He could feel the cold wind biting at his skin, the icy flakes nipping at him as harsh gusts pulled at his body. Bitterly, Hope thought about that leading to his end. Hope Estheim, the great destroyer of the world, killed by the cold. He would almost accept that fate too. If not for the fact of his l'Cie powers being so strong.

It appeared that not even his brand would let him go. Even as he stood in the frigid air, he could feel an intense warmth radiate from the inner core of his mark, spreading throughout his body. His l'Cie powers would keep him alive throughout their stay in the mountains. It appeared that he couldn't even choose his own death. His brand held all the power.

The snow continued to drop around him, on him, and he felt only numb. Numbness welcomed him from the pain and the anguish. He couldn't stand it anymore, so the snow brought him a morbid sense of peace. Instead of feeling the harshness of the world, he would feel nothing.

He felt nothing as he drew his gunblade from the holster on his back. He felt nothing as he tugged up his dirty sleeve. He felt nothing as his blade dug into his skin, tearing at his flesh. His beloved weapon sank its teeth into his arm at his command. Hope hardly flinched. He was passed the pain. He'd given up on it.

The large chunk fell from him with a loud squelch. A brand-less arm was left in its wake. Hope stared at the exposed veins, tissue, and muscle and smiled. He felt... human again. The brand's hold on him no longer existed. His destiny was no more. Without his mark, he was just Director Estheim. He was just a man. He was just Hope.

It wasn't until Hope felt a sudden tug at his arm that his triumphant smile fell. The skin began to regrow. His arm was healing on its own. Hope shook his head frantically, attempting to will away his body's apparent automatic response to his actions.

Nothing changed. Not even as he dug his fingers into his arm, tugging, ripping the newly formed skin away. It didn't stop.

A fierce wave of pain overcame him then, bringing Hope down to his knees, the snow showing him its unending hospitality. How it betrayed him.

The silveret grit his teeth and took shallow gasps of air as the agony felt unreal. The pain brought with it flashes of his time in the Ark and the sharp sting of bile in his throat. The vomit came up, splashing onto the snow, small traces of blood lining it. His head spun and he fell over into the icy fluff.

This was where he would die. This would be his end. _Just let me go._ The world would be far better without Hope Estheim. Everyone would be _safe_.

Minutes that registered like ages in his drifting mind went on until his gaze fell upon his left wrist where he was met with his l'Cie mark staring mockingly back at him. He would never be rid of it. His brand was a part of him, just like his cruel fate to end the world.

* * *

Zalera was shoved back against the wall once again, Lightning's forearm keeping her in place. The soldier pushed all of her weight against her, assuring little movement. Not that Zalera really wanted to struggle. There was no real point to. Lightning had to get her anger out and she had been stupid enough to let Hope go off by himself. For that, this treatment was deserved.

"After everything he went through, you just let him run off!" barked Lightning, pushing the Pulsian woman harder into the stone wall. "And on unprotected territory of Pulse, no less. Castea could be lurking around every corner. What is wrong with you? What if he gets lost? What if he gets hurt or taken? We have no way of contacting him out here. We have no working comms. Are you really that much of a moron?!"

Sazh fidgeted as he watched the small battle. Zalera seemed incredibly uninterested, but Lightning was out for blood. "All right, Lightning, I think that's enough."

The minute Sazh's hand brushed her shoulder, Lightning immediately tore herself away from both of her companions as she stared viciously at the man. "Don't even. I can't-" Lightning let out a frustrated cry as she let her fist fly into the wall, the stone cracking just slightly. She remained in a tense stance as she took a few deep, ragged breaths. _Why does he always do this? Why must he always put himself in danger?_ She could never quite understand Hope's impulses. However, that was not an issue to be pondered at that given moment. She had to find Hope. She could demand answers from him later.

Running a hand through his lightly singed afro, Sazh sighed. It was time to defuse Lightning's rage, but that usually required Hope. "I should go look for him."

"No." The soldier collected herself and pulled her now bloodied hand from the rough stone. Icy eyes stared down upon her marred fist and cracked skin. She needed to control her anger better. "I will get him. I'm better at tracking and-"

"No," interrupted Sazh. Azure orbs stabbed into him at his refusal. "I think I get what's going on with him. Maybe a bit of a man-to-man'll help him come to his senses, alright?"

Lightning's gaze flitted to her hand, then back to the wall with the small spider crack. It was probably best if she cooled off some before seeing Hope. Sazh said he thought that he knew what was going on with him. Maybe Sazh talking to him would get him to stop running off. To stop leaving her. "I'm giving you twenty minutes. Get him back here or it'll be both your asses." She turned back to her elder and watched as a broad grin broke out on his face. "Scram. Nineteen minutes fifty-nine seconds. Fifty-eight. Fifty-seven."

"Alright, alright," he sighed as he began to rush out of the cave. He turned tail and ran out, one pistol ready at his side.

Lightning fell into silence, though the count continued in her mind. Was she doing the right thing? Who could know? It wasn't just Hope she had to protect. It was Sazh and Zalera, too. By taking them along, it made her accountable for their lives. She had to trust Sazh. It was about time that she started showing faith in other people.

Turning her back to the wall, Lightning slid down it until she sat slumped against the harsh stone. She didn't know what to do. Not with Hope. Not with the crystals, nor Castea, nor the new world threat. She didn't know what to do with herself. She had no idea what to do.

"You aren't going to kick my ass?" Zalera sat down beside the soldier, eyeing her bleeding hand. It wasn't anything to worry about and Hope would be able to heal it once he got back. It was the pain and rage that had caused the action that was troubling.

Shaking her head, Lightning clenched her jaw as she squeezed her eyes shut. "I don't know what to do. Should we go after the crystals? If we do-"

Zalera placed a calm hand on her shoulder, ceasing her words. "There are a lot of what ifs. A lot can happen. We have to get the crystals. There is no other way to continue without them. If we intend to take out Belphagor, then we'll need the power. You were _all_ l'Cie when you took on Orphan." Lightning immediately tensed and dropped her shoulder, letting Zalera's hand slide off. The Pulsian carried on, knowing that her words needed to be said and heard. "And there were six of you. If we just ignore this, Castea will keep attacking until he has nothing left. And I don't think he has much more to give."

It was true. The blonde attacked ruthlessly, relentlessly. Her legendary power and sly tongue seemed to be marvelous weapons for bringing Hope to his knees. Lightning couldn't keep letting Castea get so close. "How am I supposed to help him?"

Zalera sucked in her bottom lip between her teeth, gnawing on it as she thought. Hope needed reassurance, guidance and faith. They had to try their best to give them to him.

"You saw him, Zalera. He has all but given up on surviving. I don't think he believes in himself anymore." Lightning ran a frustrated hand through her roseate locks, withholding a sigh. She hated this restlessness she felt lingering in her gut. The fact that she needed advice on helping Hope wasn't making her feel much better about their situation either. But she truly didn't know what to do. "I don't think he believes in anything anymore."

Swiftly, Zalera stood and walked over to the cave entrance, her eyes scanning over the white lands around them. It was odd to see Lightning in such a state. She was so very unsure, her confidence in her abilities and her partner waning. What was becoming of their team? Their quest had just started and they were already falling apart.

If they were going to get through it all, they were going to need each other. They were going to need to hope and pray and fight. They couldn't give in to the lingering doubt and the dark cloud of despair.

"What would you do for Yeul?"

Zalera withheld the sting of her name from showing in her features. No matter how much time passed, it never got easier to deal with. "I was her guardian." It was a simple statement that held far too much meaning. At times, Zalera had hated that title, had hated her position. Being her protector kept her at Yeul's side, but it also kept them at an unbearable distance. Zalera's guardianship of Yeul had erected a wall between them that couldn't be breached. "Do you want to be his guardian?"

Lightning didn't know how to answer that. She had never considered herself as Hope's guardian until Castea's followers had insisted on calling her that. However, she supposed that that had been what she had become back when they were l'Cie.

"If you are his guardian, you are supposed to be his strength and his shield. You protect him from any and all opposition. You help him fight. You guide him towards the right path and follow him wherever that path leads." It was almost the exact words she'd heard long ago, when learning of her possible future guardianship of Yeul. It seemed fitting advice for Lightning now. "But also, you are human. You are allowed to feel your own doubts and have your own weaknesses. Trust me, I know weakness well. You just can't let those weaknesses and doubts hold you back. Hope's life is to remain your number one concern. You give up all that you are for him. You give up your body and your soul for him. That's what being a guardian entails."

Lightning stared hard at the ground, contemplating. Hope was already what she held most important in her life, especially seeing as Serah was currently crystal. The soldier knew that she'd give up everything and more for him.

She was going to accept her role. She was just like Zalera, it seemed. She was a guardian and she'd protect Hope, all else be damned. But what of their relationship? How could she be his guardian and his girlfriend? She couldn't be his shield and his partner, could she? "I have to give him up, don't I?" That was the one thing she found herself hesitating on. Now that she'd allowed herself to indulge on expressing her feelings towards him, on accepting their feelings towards each other, could she hold herself back? "I can't be his guardian and his lover. It doesn't work." To be with Hope, she would see him as her partner, her equal. They would protect each other. But if she was his guardian, she could only see him as her charge. She couldn't allow for Hope to put his life on the line for her. And he would no doubt want to.

Zalera had fought with her own feelings towards Yeul for years. It had made her cold. She didn't take Lightning's concern lightly. "The bond between a Guardian and their charge is stronger than anything. It transcends all meaning. A love forms between them and nothing can ever break it. It's your choice what kind of love that is... But there's no doubt that it's love."

Swallowing heavily, Lightning stood, feeling each and every step she took towards Zalera deepen her concern. She would never let Hope die. She'd fight for him with everything she had, but she wouldn't give him up. "Did Yeul know?"

Her fists tightened at her sides, clenching her worn and singed skirt. Zalera shook her head slowly. Yeul's life was limited. Zalera had had no right to hold Yeul back with her feelings, or to mar their relationship with such emotions. Zalera's job was to watch and protect, to console and guide. As her guardian, she could love Yeul, but she couldn't express it. "To truly protect him, to truly become his guardian, you have to make sacrifices. Having to withhold your desires would be one of those sacrifices-"

"Then I won't do it. Screw being a guardian. No offense, but you lost Yeul while you were her guardian. You gave up everything for her and you still lost her." Lightning could feel Zalera's cold stare on her, but she ignored it. She'd finally let Hope in. She had someone to live for again. She wasn't going to give that up. Not again. Her feelings had been denied for too long. "I can protect him and be with him too." Lightning then walked away to the back of the cave and leaned against the wall. "Sazh has five minutes and fifty-four seconds before his ass is mine."

With surprised eyes, the Pulsian turned back to watch for their two companions. Lightning truly cared for Hope. That was what he needed right now, not some cold protector. Lightning had made her decision, and Zalera could only smile.

* * *

_"Wake up, dude. You'll catch a cold if you stay like that."_

_Hope's eyes fluttered open at the sound of his best friend's voice. A disgruntled noise came from him as he sat up, shivering at the light, cool breeze that caressed his tired body. Bleary green eyes opened to be met with amused violet. "What, Cass?" His groggy words came out slowly before he yawned. He looked around, soon recognizing his surroundings. He was in the field he'd woken up in, with the friends he'd left behind._

_A light laugh sounded through the air as Cass chuckled. "You have some grass on your face, dork."_

_Hope pouted at the laughing runt beside him. For a thirteen year old, he was quite a pain in the ass. Of course, that was just Cass. The two years since the fall hadn't done much to change him. Not that he'd seen anyway. Hope's hand came up and wiped away the small blades of grass that clung to his cold cheek. "What happened? How'd I even get here?"_

_"You don't remember?" Cass' brows knit together as he sat beside Hope, resting back on his palms with his legs stretched out before him. "You had another little quarrel with the sperm donor. I called you to see if you wanted to come to my place and hang out with me and Kori, but you said you were too pissed off. It's been three hours since then." Cass shook his head at Hope's bewildered expression. He really didn't remember. "I tried calling you again a little while ago, and came looking for you when you didn't answer. I knew where you were. You're not all that hard to figure out."_

_Hope fell back into the grass, expression solemn. He remembered now. His father wanted him to become his successor. It meant that in the event of his father's death, Hope would be the new director. But he had no idea how to be a leader. And he couldn't lose his dad. Not now. Not after he'd lost everyone else. He could handle the constant bickering and never being enough for his father, but he couldn't handle being alone._

_That had been the reason he'd come back to where he'd been found. To where this whole part of his life began. He'd run off to come back to the family he'd left behind. Because even though they couldn't see him or hear him, even though they were lost in the deep dreams of stasis, he didn't want them to be as alone as he felt. He took comfort in their presence, and he hoped that his presence helped them._

_Hope's hand slid across the grass until it brushed against Cass', their fingers soon interlocking. He couldn't keep living in the past. He had family and friends that needed him in the real world. Hope was alive and out of stasis. He could live. It was time he started doing so. "Thanks, Cass."_

_Cass snorted at the contact, but neglected to move his hand away. Instead, he squeezed his best friend's hand tighter. "Yeah..."_

_The cold air passed over Hope again and he snuggled deeper into the ground. He didn't want to leave yet. He couldn't just leave them behind. The elder teen closed his eyes, ignoring the world for only a little while longer. If he stayed just like that, cocooned in his ignorance and denial, everything didn't seem so heavy._

_"C'mon, Hope. You gotta get up."_

_Hope tried to ignore Cass, though he knew he was right. He couldn't stay there forever._

_"Get up,_ _dude_ _. The world's waiting."_

* * *

Hope sat up, the world around him a blinding white while a dark gray loomed over him, the heavy clouds promising only more falling ice. He could hardly feel any part of his body, it having gone almost completely numb a short while before. And as Hope stared across the large expanse of snow, he attempted to numb his heart as well. His best friend was dead. The self-preserving haze lifted, making way for the soul shattering truth, decaying what was left of his heart.

He was losing everyone. Slowly, Yeul's vision was coming true. It would only be a matter of time before this world died allowing for a new one to be reborn from its ashes.

With much strength, Hope managed to stand and drag himself along to a small, iced over river bank. His stiff hand wiped away the snow as he knelt by it. He could then see his reflection staring back at him.

He could hardly recognize the worn out husk in the ice. The extreme red flush of his skin. The harshly chapped blue lips. The blood shot, hopeless eyes. No, this was a Hope he recognized, it was just one he hadn't seen in a while.

Dull eyes looked back down at the exposed brand on his arm. Hope could only feel pure hatred as he stared at his fate. It held all the cards. As it always had.

Before, Hope had liked his brand. Once he'd gotten past the devastation, he found that his l'Cie powers made him stronger. He could fight. He could protect.

Now, he was just a tool of destruction once again. He was the l'Cie menace, just like six years prior.

Drawing up his blade, Hope brought it back to just under his mark. He couldn't let it all continue. This war had to end somehow. Hope was going to keep cutting his brand off until either it or he didn't exist anymore.

"What are you doin'!"

The loud call jolted Hope out of his state. Quickly, he threw a massive thundara towards the voice. With a large crack, the bolts struck through a tree, bringing most of it down beside a very startled and wide-eyed Sazh.

They stared at each other for a few silent moments until Sazh coughed at the slight smoke wafting off from the now ripped apart tree. His eyes gazed over it, taking in the fact that if Hope had hit him, he'd be the one in such a state or most likely much worse.

Hope stared down at his hands, watching the last remnants of the spell fizzle off of his fingertips, the vapid energy dying out and fading back into his veins. It was Sazh. It had been _Sazh_ that he'd just attacked. He lowered his head, attempting to calm himself down.

Sazh scrambled up from his spot, clumps of snow falling from his clothes as the stun wore off. The pilot watched as Hope shook, his long, deep breaths puffing out into the bitter air. The gunblade that had been previously perched atop his young companion's arm laid on the frozen snow, resting innocently despite its owner's intentions for it moments before.

What the boy had been about to do could only be guessed and what Sazh was thinking had him storming over to the quivering Hope. Enraged, he snatched up the blade and tossed it carelessly away, soon kneeling before the silveret as he desperately searched for an answer within Hope's eyes. Once brilliant green orbs were clouded with such heart wrenching despair. "What are you doin'?" he repeated in a breathy whisper. Never before had Hope resorted to such actions. Not to his knowledge. No matter what opposing forces he'd met or dark influences he'd encountered, Hope had always found a certain resilience. This incident had Sazh questioning just how deeply lost Hope had found himself.

His urge to run and his urge to retch fought only to end in a stalemate as he remained deathly still. Sazh was not supposed to see that. No one was supposed to see him in those moments of distress and desperation. He needed the brand gone. That was all. But he would go to great lengths to relieve himself of his mark.

"If it just went away..." Trembling fingers traced over the bright blue symbol on his forearm. It was smooth and blended perfectly into his skin as if it had always been there, like a birth mark. "Not just the brand, but the fear, the pain, the anger, this... _unbearable_ ache in my heart..." If all of the past mistakes were gone, if he didn't feel any of it, then he could carry on and continue with the mission. But it wasn't going to happen.

Sazh rubbed his forehead as he settled beside the director. _So he was trying to cut off his brand... Never even thought of that._ There was dried blood all over Hope's arm and in the snow where Hope's weapon had previously laid. _I guess it didn't work._

"Why, Sazh? Just tell me why," Hope spat, his anger broiling. He couldn't figure it out. He never could. Why did it have to be him? "Why me? I never wanted to become... _this_." He was nothing but a monster. Someone who should just be put down.

"To become what? A hero?"

Hope's face contorted into confusion as he looked toward Sazh. The man just smiled softly at him and put a comforting hand on his back. _A hero?_ That's not what he was. He was a monster intended to be used only for wicked purposes. A slave to a fal'Cie's fancy. A hero he was not.

"The way I see it, you're the only person who could do this." Hope was a brilliant, strong and extremely gifted young man. He had a tremendous amount of compassion for everyone and everything on the planet. He felt more than anyone and fought hard for what he believed in. "You can fight this, Hope, I know you can."

"But-"

Sazh shook his head. "You're one of the strongest people I know. You can fight through this battle. I don't think that anyone else could go through everything you have and survive. It has to be you." A chilly gust of wind had Sazh pulling Hope into his chest and wrapping his coat tightly around them both. It was freezing. With Hope's condition, it would be amazing if he didn't catch hypothermia.

"You've fought through loss, loneliness, hatred, extreme bigotry, heartbreak. You've survived assassins, torture, and the viciousness of battle. You even won over the girl o' your dreams and seriously, no one could've thawed her icy heart like you have," he added with a laugh. Hope chuckled lightly in return as he seemed to be returning to his old self little by little. "You've overcome so much and you've grown into a better man than any of us could've predicted." With a tight squeeze, Sazh hugged him closer to his body, joy filling him as Hope wrapped his arms around him as well. This was such a nostalgic moment. He remembered consoling Hope many times over the years when his father was too busy. He'd always made sure to be there for Hope when he needed him. And this was one of those times.

Hope cleared his throat. His lids were heavy with tears, but he tried to keep them at bay. Sazh saw only the good in him. He was _proud_ of him. "But all of those people... How do I live with the deaths of all of those people? Of my people..."

His eyes slid shut as he heard Hope's raspy voice. He sounded so small, so young. It was like Hope had become a child again in his arms. Hope sniffed and Sazh could tell by his harsh breathing and the quaking of his form that he was breaking down.

The young man in his arms didn't know what to do with all of his grief or how to deal with all of his guilt. Sazh didn't have answers for him. He could relate in some ways. He hoped his next words would be enough to help Hope see that it wasn't his fault. That he could bear the pain until he could clear all of the tragedy Castea had created. "If I didn't have the pain of my late wife, I probably wouldn't be so depressed all the time. After she died, I thought about givin' up Dajh." That wasn't something Sazh liked to admit, but he had. Raising Dajh had seemed impossible without Wilda. Living was tough enough.

"If I didn't have the grief of losin' my son to all this, I wouldn't've put my gun to my temple. Some days, I can hardly breathe when I think about him... But that grief and that pain are there to remind me of what I have and what I live for. You can't change what's happened, only what you'll do." A few tears slipped from Sazh's eyes as he let Hope sob into his chest. Hope had been holding it in for the last few days so Sazh just let him cry.

As much as he hated to admit it, this was all he could really offer the teen. His words and a shoulder were all he had to give. Sazh would remain by Hope's side, he would fight, but he knew that most of the future relied heavily on Hope. He couldn't protect Hope from what was coming. He couldn't guarantee Hope would even survive.

It killed him to admit that.

* * *

Lightning had been about ready to jump up and storm out of the cave when she saw Hope and Sazh approaching from the distance. Hope was huddled against Sazh, practically hiding in his coat. Fury rose within her, but she snuffed it out, bit her tongue, folded her infuriated hands and remained where she was. Hitting and scolding Hope wouldn't change anything. She was angry and hurt that Hope had run. She wanted to know why Hope had wanted to be away from her so desperately. But he'd gone because he needed space. So she would let him come to her.

"Gods, Hope." Zalera helped Sazh bring Hope into their small cavern. The young director shook in her arms causing her great alarm. Why Lightning wasn't helping or even showing concern stumped her.

"I'm f-fine." Hope truly didn't feel cold at all. All he felt was a burning warmth inside of him that he knew was from his l'Cie mark. He wasn't worried. The mountains were the least of his problems.

Sazh and Zalera set him down against the wall by the fire. Despite Hope's persistent words that he was fine, Sazh took off his jacket and wrapped it around the frozen child. He then stepped back, standing beside Zalera as they both looked down on Hope who stared down at the fire. "We stick together from here on out. Got it?" He meant it mostly for Hope, but everyone in the cave needed a reminder. They were a team. They were going to act like one.

"Yeah," Hope breathed as he snuggled deeper into the olive jacket surrounding him. He could feel the chill slipping away as the warmth of his brand grew, but the comfort of Sazh's jacket kept him grounded.

Zalera nodded and gave a curt verbal affirmation as well, her focus still on her nearly silent companions.

"You too, soldier girl." He received a slight glare which had him smirking and shaking his head. "Rest for now, Hope. We'll talk about this all later."

Sazh laid himself down by the fire. Deep brown eyes gazed at the ceiling. _These kids are gonna be the death of me._ He looked over as Zalera laid herself beside him. She ran her hands down her face before meeting Sazh's eyes. Her weary green orbs and despondent expression cast worry within the afro haired man. Zalera just closed her eyes and put a hand over her heart. Sazh understood then. He knew loss and the misery that it brought.

Zalera jolted at the light touch of Sazh's hand. She looked down at it on her forearm. The gesture, warm and reassuring, let her silently know that he was there. It brought a spark of happiness to her. She really felt like a part of a family.

He brought his lips to her forehead and gave it a light peck. It was what he always did when calming Dajh. He'd even done it to calm Vanille. He remembered it being the last kiss that he'd given his wife before she'd been taken from him. When he was laying in bed with her, assuring her that everything would be okay.

Sazh laid back against the ground and looked over each of his teammates. These people, these kids, were his family and he was going to keep them safe. He wanted them all to meet his son when Dajh woke up. Sazh grew quite excited at that thought. When his son came out of crystal stasis, their little family wouldn't be so small and broken anymore.

When Hope had sufficiently thawed, he made his way over to Lightning, his movements a tad stiff. He sat in front of her and stared at her. She had her eyes closed, but he knew she was awake. He knew she knew he was there. Her muscles had tightened as soon as he'd sat down. She was ignoring him. Or she was waiting for him to make the first move.

Hope's eyes caught her injured hand and he straightened up at the sight. She'd gotten hurt... or hurt herself. _She got angry again. She hurt herself because of me, huh?_ Hope carefully took her hand in his own and kissed the injury apologetically. He hated hurting Lightning. He despised himself for it.

The eldest Farron opened her eyes at the light contact on her abused knuckles. She could see the sincere regret and anguish in the young man's eyes as he regarded her hand. Soft fingertips traced over her wound tenderly, a cure spell dancing off of them and into her torn tissue. Lightning's lips curved upward into a smile at how gentle he was. _This_ was her Hope.

He gave her hand another soft peck when he was done before looking up into his mentor's eyes. The light gleam in them made him blush and sheepishly rub the back of his head.

"You done worshiping my hand now?"

Hope laughed quietly, taking the joke as it was. He held onto her hand tighter, never wanting to let go. He was going to keep Lightning at his side. There would be no losing her. "I'm sorry, Lightning. I'm right here. I'll always be right here."

Hope's sincere words caressed her heart more than she could express. He'd hit the nail on the head with that one. She was always so afraid of losing him. If she lost Hope, she lost everything. She knew it was wrong to depend so much on him, but he was all she had.

"Thank you for allowing me some time and thank you for letting me come back on my own. I'm going to do better. For everyone. For you, Light."

Lightning's throat felt constricted, all words getting caught in the enclosure. So instead of talking, instead of using words that she wasn't too good with anyway, she pulled Hope in, encircling him with her arms. Her tight grip on him kept her together. She could feel herself melting under that gorgeous gaze. Her name on his lips sounded so right. She never wanted anyone else to say it.

_Light..._

He was her savior. Not the other way around. The way she had always seen it was that, without Serah, Lightning would have faded away, drifted into nothingness. She would hardly be a person. Just as she had begun losing Serah, losing her purpose, losing herself, she had gained Hope.

Hope showed her that she was more than just an older sister. She was more than just a soldier. Hope helped her begin again. Serah could have her own life.

And so could she.

Lightning didn't have to become a pitiful shell. She didn't have to hate and envy Snow for stealing her sister away. She didn't have to believe that being human made her weak. Hope liked who she was. He liked who she really was underneath all of the masks and lies. He saw her for who she was and he stayed.

Pulling back from her and stealing a quick kiss, Hope beamed at her. Things were going to be okay. He was going to make it _all_ okay.

* * *

"Pulse's castle is a little over a two week's journey depending on our speed and on the opposition we face. Now, I need to ask this question one last time. Are we doing this?" Zalera stood in front of the fire, her three comrades sitting around it. Her stance was tense with worry over everything to come. This was not going to be an easy quest. They all needed to be completely sure about their decision.

Sazh held his hands by the flames as he sat still in the questioning of their coming journey. All he could think of was Dajh. His son was sitting in a broken building in a decimated city, protected only by the barrier that sealed him from reality. If they succeeded, he could have his boy back. But if they failed... The pilot glanced over at the teen to his right. _If we fail... I lose both of them._

Putting on a broad grin, Sazh leaned back on his palms. "What are we waitin' for? We've made it out this far, might as well go all the way." He would just have to make sure that they didn't fail.

Cool azure orbs studied Hope, who seemed oddly, yet unsurprisingly withdrawn. Lightning abhorred the thought of tomorrow. She knew that this excursion would cause only more pain for Hope. They were going into enemy territory. They were likely to encounter hundreds of vicious creatures, if their last visit into Pulse had taught her anything, and Castea's l'Cie, as well. They were going after mythical crystals that contained god like powers, and Hope was expected to consume and control those powers.

Lightning had always been a realist, especially as a soldier. She knew things were going to be bad. She knew that most likely some of them wouldn't make it. That was what war and sacrifice guaranteed, right? "It's up to Hope." She let her tone lay flat, as if she really were giving him the say. Really, they had no other option but to go. Living in a cave until the end of days wasn't all that appealing.

And then all eyes fell to him. He who only a matter of years before had been the weak link of the group. The bottom of the food chain. Now, he decided if they ran or fought. If they lived or died. _Now's not the time to second guess yourself. This will take down Castea. This will save your city and possibly Cocoon._

_This will bring_ _back_ _your friends._

"We are getting the crystals." Hope looked into the eyes of his team mates, solid determination flowing through his veins. "This is for Academia. For Cocoon. For Snow. For Serah." His gaze caught Lightning and he knew he couldn't back down. "For Dajh." He looked at Sazh, seeing such pride in the man's eyes. "For Fang and Vanille." His eyes fell to the entrance of the cave, Hope holding back the ache in his heart. "For Yeul." Zalera caught his attention next as she gasped, a small tear sliding down her cheek.

"I will fix this." No, that wasn't right. He was not alone. " _We_ will end this." They didn't need to restart in a new world. They could begin anew in the world they had when the battle was over. Because they would survive.

"For our future."


	23. Deviation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "For our future."

Time dragged by at an excruciatingly slow pace as their little team hiked through the mountains. It had already been nearly three days since they'd started on their mission and there had been no change in scenery and truly no change in spirits. The heavy grey clouds loomed over them in a giant mass, blocking the sun's brilliant light from illuminating their journey and its warm caress from touching their stiff, nearly frost-bitten skin. The snow came in heaps, not flakes, falling from the sky with little grace and clumping on the ground. Harsh winds bit at their quaking forms, the silvery gusts threatening to blow them right off their feet.

"This whole journey sounded a lot more favorable when we were sittin' 'round a campfire in our warm little cave!" shouted Sazh as he tugged his jacket closer to his body. Zalera had said that it would take four to six days just to get out of the Argodian Mountains. That statement seemed intent on proving itself true. "I'm gonna be a popsicle by the time we finally get outta this mess. I think my hair's frozen solid," he muttered, his legs slowly forcing their way through the packed snow surrounding him.

"That would be a frosicle then, wouldn't it?" Hope nudged Sazh's forearm with his elbow as he chuckled. He nearly toppled over as his elder playfully shoved him away.

"Oh, ha-ha. Just hilarious."

Zalera spared a glance behind her from her position at the head of the group and smirked. "Quit your griping, old man. We'll just leave you here. I'm sure the beasts would love a good meal. Frozen or not." She watched Sazh wave her off with a tired sigh and gave a snort. There wasn't much she could do about their circumstances. She had never even been on the Argodian Mountains before. Most Pulsians knew of its horrible year-round winters. It was not habitable to the faint of heart. Their current trail was the only way she knew to take without risking getting them lost.

"Let's just keep moving," came Lightning's sharp command. They still had a long ways to go and she could tell that they were slowing down. Sazh wasn't doing well under the conditions akin to that of a frozen tundra and she could see that the severe hiking was getting to Hope too. He was a strong fighter, but he wasn't a soldier. He wasn't trained to adapt like she was. But even she was starting to feel it, the heavy iciness that was beginning to overtake her functions. They needed to pick up the pace. She wasn't even sure if they could stop to sleep again until they were out of the god forsaken mountains.

The heavy reality of death sat perched in their minds as they strode forward. Sure, they joked and gibed. Appeasing and nearly empty smiles sat on their faces, stiffening their facial muscles. They were facing the world with optimism, determination, humor and denial. But they all knew what was coming.

The darkness and undying winds clouded Hope's vision as he fell into step beside Sazh. He'd decided a while back to remain beside the pilot, keeping him company while watching out for him as well. He was fine letting Zalera lead the way while Lightning kept her ever watchful eyes sharp and her even sharper blade ready at her side. He found it amusing and sweet as Lightning kept an even keener eye on him than their surroundings. The young man could feel her eyes focus on him every few minutes. The fact that she was sparing the time and thought was heartwarming to say the least.

Of course this vigilance went both ways. Green irises kept their gaze almost firmly locked upon Lightning's back, her form always within an arm's length. He had meant every word spoken to her back in the cave. Every mental declaration. Hope would never let her go. He never wanted to know a day without her presence. The teen knew too well how it felt to have her out of his reach. But even so, he could never imagine a day where she was out of his scope for good.

He would keep going, keep fighting, and keep smiling for her. He would be the best man he could be for Lightning, as he'd set out to be long ago. Though the overwhelming waves of misery never receded. Thoughts of ending things never ebbed away. They wouldn't. Not until their mission was complete and the threat was gone.

He was ever doubtful that that day would come. When everything would be over. Reality was harsh and unyielding, stabbing and slaughtering every hopeful thought and feeling that threatened to emerge. Every step was another leap towards his demise. His soul seemed welcoming to the idea of his end. It wished to see anything outside of the dark, dreary place it was lost in. Anything outside of their current task. It was longing for the simpler days.

Days slaving away on the massive pile of paperwork at his desk while Alyssa pestered him to no end. Nights at NORA with the gang, drinking until they were stupid and laughing until they couldn't breathe. Times with Rygdea when the man would train him and help him with his hopeless form. The fleeting moments with his father when Hope would get a genuine praise and a congratulatory pat on the shoulder.

Anything but this constant worry. Hope couldn't handle any more blood, any more conflict. The deaths at his hands were driving him deeper into a pit of emptiness. The further and further he fell, the less he could see the sun. The longer this war dragged on, the farther away from his future he was.

It was getting harder and harder everyday just to see a future for himself. The dreams and desires he'd had were fading. That marvelous future he had envisioned for himself, for his city, was slipping from his grasp. Only faint traces of his tomorrow remained in his heart.

Instead, all he could see was nothing. The world was a void filled only with death and decay. A war had raged, leaving no one victorious. The two worlds, the floating nest of vipers and the hell below, had finally met as Cocoon was nothing but shattered shards scattered across Pulse's landscape. Crumbled heaps were all that remained of the cities, settlements and villages.

And of the people? Of the fal'Cie? No one remained. No corpses. No souls. Gone like faint whispers in the wind. All life had evaporated into a history never to be told. The fear, the hatred, the rage, all the stifling emotions that had led to such a devastating battle, meaningless. Any dreams or hopes that had fueled the fire, had been fruitless. There was no new world, no savior to rescue the remnants of a dying planet, no Maker to give its children new life. There was no future.

Only nothing...

Hope recoiled at his own thoughts. Nearly purple fingers scratched at the covered brand on his arm. Hatred for his brand still stewed within his being. The bright blue mark only promised a prolonged, torturous death. His leash tethered him to a faceless monster and an undeniable fate.

Gone was his buoyant thoughts and sanguine nature. There was no longer a limitless sky above him. He could only continue to sink into the ocean of despair and the resentment he held towards himself. His brand would continue to drain him of all of his happiness, snatching away all he held dear and stealing away any thoughts of a bright tomorrow.

Hell. He was in hell.

_"Cease those useless words, little one. I will not fight beside one who harbors such ill thoughts."_

A voice of reason halted his spiraling thoughts. Alexander's disappointed words caused Hope to visibly flinch. _Sorry, big guy._

Alexander. The one thing he could thank his brand for. The Eidolon was his savior, his friend. His partner was always there, ready to fight at a moment's call. Hope could sense the being's uneasiness within him and realized just how much his own thoughts could affect Alexander. Hope's eyes clenched shut briefly. He felt deeply ashamed.

_"Wars are fought not only on the battlefield, but inside our hearts as well. We must always stay firm and strong. We must never let the enemy conquer us. Never grant them that much power."_

Words that had been spoken with such sincerity and strength so long ago, reminded him of just how powerful his connection with Alexander was. Words that had given Hope something to cling to, when the world had felt too dark. Back when he had first met the giant, those words had done well to soothe him. Alexander was just as much a part of this team as the others.

A loud roar from the distance broke the fragile air of silence surrounding the group. A few more responding cries followed, echoing off of the mountain side. The team froze in their haste, listening to the chorus rising from the distance. All that could be seen was the bleary, snow-fogged image of maybe fifty feet before them. But they all knew. By the sounds of it, they were coming across a herd of Behemoth Kings.

"Shit." Zalera's hand flew to her chakram that had been holstered on her back. Her fist tightened around the weapon, though her skin rejected the frozen metal. This had not been a part of the plan. Not at all. She hadn't known.

The roars continued for a good few minutes until they died out into the whispering winds. "T-that sounds like a lot…" stammered Sazh, looking ahead with wide eyes.

Lightning looked to Zalera with a stern eye, a small amount of controlled panic hidden within her icy irises. "That's a Pack." Stomping up to the Pulsian, Lightning switched her blade into gun mode with a snap of her wrist. "You're leading us into Behemoth territory?!"

Jaw tightening, Zalera kept silent, thinking. "It's the migration," she admitted, her voice soft, almost apologetic. "It happens twice a year, but I thought they'd be on the other side of the mountain by now."

"Tch." Lightning turned her head away, her muscles in her arm constricting with fury as she gripped her gunblade impossibly tight. They didn't have time for this. They needed to get out of the mountains. The soldier wasn't even sure if they could handle one Behemoth in their condition, let alone a pack. "By the sounds of it, there's at least seven, too."

"I counted eleven different calls." Zalera's face remained impassive as the others gaped around her. "And that's how many I could hear, the ones that made a responding cry." Letting out a resigned sigh, Zalera rested her weapon back in its straps. "If there's eleven and more, then it's the Alpha pack. There are at least thirty in its family. There's no way we can take them all." Pulsian villages and tribes kept track of the monsters surrounding them on Pulse. It was a way to keep safe and assure that unless you were looking for a fight, you'd be safe from the wild beasts on Pulse's landscape.

Lightning growled, ready to bark at the woman until she felt a calm tug on her wrist. Hope gave her a subtle shake of his head, eyes pleading.

"What do we do then?" inquired the silveret, his hold on the soldier firm as his eyes rested on Zalera's back.

"Nothing, I'm afraid. We have to let them pass."

Hope felt Lightning flinch before she tore herself from his grasp. She was wound too tight as it was, putting their survival on her own shoulders. Her current temperament was understandable, but it wouldn't get them anywhere. "Lightning, please-"

"What's wrong with you?" The Pulsian's calm aura was pissing her off. Did she not understand just what that meant? Anymore waiting could get them all killed. "You lead us into this mess and you don't even care?"

"How long could it take to let them pass?" inquired Sazh, bravely stepping between the two women.

Zalera swallowed, unsure of the whole situation herself. They couldn't wait any longer, but they couldn't just run headlong into a pack of feral beasts. "I can only guess, but judging on their current position, maybe three hours."

"It'll be night then, you realize?" came Lightning's fury filled words, thinly veiled in a cold calmness.

"Isn't there any other route? Why can't we just go around the herd?"

Sazh's questions sparked her own anger, and she felt the words lash out from her throat. "We would have to backtrack to take another route!" Zalera snapped. Did he think she was a moron? Of course she thought everything through. They were stuck, and it was her fault. "Besides, I know no other way. Sure, I have a vague lay of the mountain, but I will not risk getting us lost. And 'go around'?" She gave a gruff scoff in spite. "They'll smell us if we get any closer, you know that. I'm surprised they haven't found our presence already."

Sazh's shoulder's dropped. They really could only wait. As the bellows of the pack sounded once more, the elder swallowed heavily, his hand hovering over his weapon. What if they came towards them? What would they do then? Just sit and wait until they were eaten alive? There was too much at stake. He had a son to save. Being a Behemoth's dinner was going to have to wait.

Hope noticed Sazh's uncertainty. His frozen hand reached out to the man, but just before he could reach his shoulder, a loud screeching sounded from overhead, jolting them all out of their argument.

Lightning's eyes caught sight of a swarm of winged creatures coming toward them. The Cie'th surrounded them in seconds, hardly giving them time to draw their weapons in defense. Yanking out her gunblade, the soldier had just enough time to swipe away a Chonchon's wing attack. Ducking another wing strike, she drove her saber up into the underbelly of the Cie'th, hearing the monster give a guttural groan before falling to the ground.

Sazh swiftly drew out his pistols, firing quickly at any of the winged creatures that came his way. The Chonchons were irritatingly adept at avoiding the bullets, but Sazh had been perfecting his marksmanship skills over the years. Hitting a moving target was child's play, no matter how fast they could dodge.

Barring the winged Cie'th from tearing into his flesh, Hope's gunblade sat firmly between its teeth. Hope pushed back against the monster, causing it to sway in the air before coming back at him. Hope waited, his gunblade ready. Just as it opened its dark chasm of a mouth, ready to eat its meal, Hope stabbed his blade into the Chonchon's mouth and through its throat. It let out a horrid, choked howl before crashing down onto the floor.

Hope sharply inhaled as another came at him. He held up his weapon defensively, blocking a slew of deadly wing strikes. It attacked mercilessly, its sharp wings clanging against Hope's saber threateningly. The sheer power behind each strike bore down on Hope, causing him to sink into the snow and almost causing him to slip. "Enough!" he yelled after being pushed back quite a ways by the beast. The palm of the teen's hand heated up instantly, a raging fire soon fleeing from his fingertips and into the relentless Cie'th's chest.

Zalera grunted as the sharp curve of a wing sliced against the side of her thigh. The Cie'th's attack had given her a small split second opening and she took it, stabbing down in between the monster's wings. Ripping down the back of the Chonchon, Zalera watched its body spasm, an exceptionally large screech emanating from it. She cringed at the gash in her leg, but didn't give it any more thought.

"Can we get the hell off this mountain now?!"

Zalera's brows furrowed as she heard Sazh's cries come from above her head. Looking up, her eyes widened as she watched the pilot being carried away, the back of the collar of his jacket in a Chonchon's mouth. Sazh was attempting to aim at the Cie'th's wings, but they were out of range in his position. The sight would have been comical had this not been a dire situation. She took aim with her chakram and let her weapon free. It caught purchase in the monster's left wing. On impact, the bird-like creature dropped Sazh, the man crying out on his way down.

He face planted into the snow, his shout cut short. Picking himself up, he shook himself off and caught his breath. He really didn't like these mountains. "Damn Cie'th."

"You alright?" Zalera came up to him, checking on the man. That hadn't been too far of a fall, but it was all in the landing. Sazh nodded, his hand tiredly waving her off.

A large blast caught her attention next as Zalera watched Hope deliver a powerful thundaga to a few other winged beasts. "How many are there?" The question slipped from her lips just before she felt a searing pain ripple throughout her body. Her remaining chakram slipped from her fingers' grasp as her body seized up. Knees buckling, she fell to the snow, her head spinning. A loud cry tore from her throat as she felt intense agony in her limbs.

Sazh felt it too. His whole body convulsed almost as soon as he hit the snow. He could see Zalera beside him, hear her cries, but he couldn't truly register anything outside of the sheer pain running throughout his body. The throbbing seemed to slip deep into his bones, even pulsing in his veins.

Hope and Lightning both stopped momentarily in their fighting, hearing their comrades shouts and sobs of anguish. Catching sight of the two incapacitated, they ran to Zalera's and Sazh's aid.

Two Chonchons were heading straight for the vulnerable prey, but Lightning intercepted them easily, guarding her friends. The woman was momentarily caught off guard as the blade of her weapon began to emanate a rich orange glow. A snake of fire wrapped around her gunblade until a spark ignited at its central ridge, flames surrounding its entirety. An enflame spell, for sure. Lightning glanced back at Hope briefly, nodding at him in approval and gratitude. She turned back to the winged Cie'th, ready for action.

Hope came over to Sazh, kneeling next to the writhing man. Recognizing his anguish as the infliction of a pain spell, the young director made quick work of summoning up an esunada to counter it. Hope drew the healing magic from deep within his core, hoping to eliminate Sazh's and Zalera's disabilities fast. It had been a long while since he'd used such a strong healing agent to remove a status ailment, but the silveret found that such things were second nature to him. After all, he had always been the best medic of the team.

With a jolt to her system, Zalera felt the effect almost instantly. The raging burning in her blood, the exceptional ache in her bones and skull, the constricting grip on her heart, it all ceased, though the echoes of the pain remained. Slowly, she gathered herself and sat up, trembling in the spell's aftereffects. She gripped her lone chakram, the other still embedded in the fallen Chonchon a few feet away.

Sazh felt Hope's grip on his shoulder and he flinched, his body wary and sensitive to the touch.

"It's just me. You guy's okay? Sorry it took me so long." His eyes took in the shape of his friends, a frown on his features. He watched Zalera heave herself up, her stance shaky. Words were on the tip of his tongue, but they would have to wait. A guttural groan sounded from above them and Hope found himself having to defend his teammates while they collected themselves.

Zalera sucked in a breath, shoving the lasting remnants of the spell from her mind and ran for her other chakram. The second her weapon had slipped back into her eager hand, Zalera threw it with all of her anger, aiming for the heart of a monster. She wasn't going to let such minuscule beasts as Cie'th best her. It wasn't her time to die. She had a world to save. She couldn't redeem her lifetime of mistakes if she was dead. The Cie'th attempted to deflect the chakram with an aero spell, but because of its aerodynamic circular shape, it wasn't an easy weapon to send off course. It sank deep into the beast's chest, staggering it greatly.

Sazh then drew himself up, shooting at Zalera's enemy. Two shots brought it down, ending it for good, but more Chonchons were waiting to take its place.

Lightning allowed her flame infused sword to tear through the wing of one of the monsters. She pulled her gunblade away and watched as the Cie'th attempted to still fly, but it failed. It came to the ground with a thud and a shriek. It thrashed for a few moments, black blood seeping heavily from the wounds, before Lightning shot into its head with a fiery bullet.

Turning away from the beast, Lightning was then swept up by a blast of wind. She flew through the air, landing a good hundred feet from her original position. The landing was harsh and she gave a loud shout at the impact. A couple breathless coughs forced themselves from her, the icy snow sticking to her face as she drew it from the ground. Her iced over bangs fringed out in her vision as she blearily looked towards her comrades. Shaking her head, she tried to dispel the dizziness, hoping to find her equilibrium. Just as she was about to get up, the ground began to shift beneath her. Before Lightning knew it, it was caving in.

Lightning struggled to keep herself up as the snow and earth gave out from under her. Clutching onto the snow covered ground, Lightning looked down momentarily to stare into a small, but very deep hole that was just waiting to swallow her up. Her heart thudded in her chest as she imagined the fall, knowing that most likely she would not have survived. With a huff, she turned her gaze away and back to her team. They were all still fighting, unaware of her absence. She had to get back into the game.

Using her upper body muscles, the soldier began to pull herself out of her dangerous, dangling situation. _You can do this, Farron._ Lightning didn't need anyone to help her. To save her. She never did. Lightning didn't rely on people, she relied on herself, on her own strength. If that wasn't enough, then she figured that she wasn't good enough to survive anyway.

She stood and looked back at the hole wearily. _What could have caused that?_ The hole was old and had most likely been covered with ice and snow before her fall had broken through it.

Freeing her thoughts from it for the time being, Lightning turned her attention back to the battle, seeing Sazh and Zalera fighting at opposite ends of the battlefield. Hope was in the middle. She watched as the young man swiftly switched his weapon's modes, a light chill rising from the blade. It was encased in a crystal-esque ice, enfrost having been used. Hope stabbed into one of his enemies, the monster freezing into an icy statue in the impressively aggressive spell's haste. Using a heavy gravity spell, Hope launched the monster into two others, skewering them onto the frozen Chonchon's wing. All three came down to the ground, a puff of snow coming up in their wake.

Lightning smirked. Hope had definitely changed over the years. The deep, inspiring conviction and resilience of his early youth still remained, but he was almost overwhelmingly stronger, his experience and skill shining in his battle. She could watch him fight for hours, marveling at his growth. This new grace and power captivated her. She wasn't his mentor anymore. He didn't need one

Coming to out of her musings, Lightning mentally cursed. _What are you doing to me, Hope?_ She couldn't keep standing there. They had a fight to finish.

Giving him backup, Lightning came up beside Hope, helping him take on some of the last straggling members of the Chonchon swarm. They battled in sync, fighting in a harmony previously unknown to her. She'd never fought so well beside another soldier in her life. It instantly brought her back to her l'Cie days when they all would gather themselves into an arranged technique, balancing themselves and their powers to the current fight. It was amazing how easy it was to fight together with him, even when she had no god-like powers to speak of. Usually, fighting alongside others slowed her down. Now she was realizing that she didn't mind.

When the fighting was over and the Cie'th had been slain, they all took a collective breath. Hope turned to Lightning, sheathing his gunblade as he frowned bitterly at the bodies of the winged creatures. "Thanks for jumping in. I was getting a little overpowered by the mass of them."

She gave a slight shrug. "Not like you needed the help," she replied nonchalantly, a hint of pride and respect in her tone.

A wide grin surfaced on his face before it morphed into a pain filled grimace. Hope hunched over the ground, his hand gripping into the fabric of the clothing covering his chest. Instantly drained from battle, Hope felt as if his strength had been zapped out of him in mere moments. He'd drawn too much power too quickly. He really needed to get used to his new brand. It wasn't like his old one. It was like it demanded more power, forcing him to use more of his strength than necessary when using his magic.

The feeling eased quickly, having not even lasted a full minute. He could feel Lightning's hand on his back and her piercing gaze boring into him. Pulling away, Hope simply shook his head and waved her coming worry-filled questions off. "This brand..." He slid up his sleeve, exposing the mark. His eyes wearily traced over its pattern, seeing nothing different than usual. "I can conjure up stronger magic, but it eats away at me a little more."

Lightning didn't like the sound of that at all. His brand was supposed to make him stronger, not weaker. "Then you should be careful." She wanted to tell him to stop, that he should quit using the brand if it was going to cause such effects, but she couldn't. They needed his powers if they were going to complete the mission. If they were going to survive.

This incident did cause a question to form in her mind, however. If the brand continued to gain more power, would it continue to eat away at him until there was nothing left?

Were they slowly killing Hope?

Hope gave her troubled expression a tired, gentle smile and slipped her hand in his, bringing the back of it to his lips. His eyes then glanced back to the mountain, his look wistful. "I wish we could be home right now." Hope's brow scrunched up in sorrow and remorse. The reality, that they didn't really have a home to turn to, was almost too much to bear. Whether it be Academia or Cocoon, their homes had been stolen away from them. But as Lightning's grip on his hand tightened, the young man realized that his wish was unnecessary. His family was his home. Even if he was tirelessly fighting relentless beasts on that frozen mountain, he was with his family. He was home.

"Well, if that wasn't a party and a half," commented Zalera.

Hope laughed lightly, loosening his hand from Lightning as Zalera joined their side. He knew how much Lightning despised open displays of affection, even the innocence of simple hand holding. "Where's Sazh?"

All eyes darted around, expecting to find their worn out elder walking their way, but he was nowhere to be seen. Lightning muttered an expletive as she visibly searched for the man. Her temper couldn't handle a disappearing act along with all of the rest of the shit she'd put up with that day.

"He didn't get dragged off by one of those irritating bats again, did he?" Zalera's question had a lilt of amusement in it, but it was also etched with worry. She had a nagging feeling that the Behemoths and Chonchons were just the beginning.

"Sazh!" called Hope, his hands circling around his mouth to amplify the sound. Nothing returned the call except the roaring winds. His head whipped around, his gaze desperately seeking out the form of the pilot. He wasn't anywhere. "We gotta find him."

The group split up, covering the ground of their battle. They searched the snow, around and beneath the bodies of the dead Cie'th, anywhere in the vicinity. The man had yet to appear.

Lightning's heart jumped into her throat as she caught sight of snow covered metal. Sazh's gun laid forgotten in the snow. It was nowhere near its owner, though it was right next to a hole that could have been a cloned copy of the one she had almost fallen into before. _No..._ The roseate stared down into the hollow, narrowing her eyes at its intense depth. She couldn't see an end to it. If that was indeed where their friend fell... she didn't want to go there.

The soldier called out to her remaining friends, her eyes still stuck to the hole before her. Sazh was down there. She could feel it.

"Did you-" Hope's question died out as he caught sight of the weapon in her hold and the opening in the earth in front of her. "No, you can't mean..." Lightning's blank expression said it all. "Sazh!" Hope's shout echoed down the hole as he leaned directly over it.

Zalera's face paled. This was her biggest fear. Losing those that were closest to her. Hope kept calling and crying into the hollow, no answer returning. She watched the tears well up in his eyes as he shook his head, disbelief inside his vulnerable orbs. Lightning's expression was calm, but she could see the ache lying in wait.

"What is this?" inquired Lightning softly.

Zalera could only guess, but she suspected that it was a burrow. She knew little of the monsters that lived far beneath their feet, those indigenous and only found within the Argodian mountains. "I think it's a borehole… created by some of the creatures of the mountain." Her throat grew dry at the sight of its depth.

"How deep are they usually?"

"I don't know. They tunnel all throughout these mountains."

Lightning's jaw clenched. "Are they hostile?"

"Hostile enough." They were like any other monster of Pulse. The only difference was that they kept to themselves in their little dens, only attacking those that ventured into their territory.

Lightning drew a glow stick from her pack, cracking it in her palm. Without a word, she dropped it down the hole. The green light fell into the dark depths until they could no longer see it. Her heart sank as she lost sight of it.

"I'm getting him." Hope began to scramble, pulling himself closer to the edge, his legs dangling over the drop.

Immediately pulling him back, Lightning tugged him away as far as she could before he yanked himself from her grasp. "I'm not letting you die, too."

The words stabbed into his being. _Too?_ Had she already given up hope on Sazh? The man was their glue. He kept all of their flaring tempers and emotional lash outs at bay. He made sure to stay upbeat and humorous just to keep their spirits up. Sazh had been there through everything. Hope wasn't going to accept this loss. Not this one.

"We're not completely sure he's in there and..." Zalera spoke grimly, her body rigid with distress. "I doubt he would have survived the fall if he is."

The implications of that statement did nothing to sway his resolve. He was finding Sazh. Stepping resolutely towards the burrow, Hope attempted to continue on his way. Lightning pushed past him, staring back into the depths, looking as if she was quickly pondering something.

The hole looked old. _It had to have been made quite a while back, but..._ The dirt walls that she could see were frozen and appeared to be well packed in. The chances of it keeping hold and not caving in were good.

"Keep him up here, Zalera." Lightning sifted through the contents of her pouch before tossing something into the elder woman's hands. "Give me a half hour. If I'm not out by then, use that to get down. Hope knows how to use it."

"You're going down there?" Zalera questioned incredulously.

Hope shook his head, snatching the object from the shocked Pulsian's hands. "No way. You can't do this, Lightning. You can't stop me from going and then just plunge in there yourself. When are you going to stop treating me like a child?"

Lightning rolled her eyes and fixed the man with a callous stare. She was fed up with this conversation. She didn't still see him as a kid. His growth had been solidified in her mind ages ago. Dating him wouldn't have even been an option had she still viewed him as her fourteen year old underling. "Don't be ridiculous, Hope. I'm going to scout for Sazh first. I only have one single serve Grav-Con. Last I checked, I have much more experience with gravity tech than you do. Besides, if we all go in at once, it'll be easier for whatever's down there to sense us."

Lightning snapped her fingers, the feeling of the AMP's electrical waves sending shivers along her spine. "I'd much rather you all carry on if I don't make it out within the next thirty minutes, but I'm not delusional. I know you'll come for me." Her eyes met Hope's and she prayed to the Maker that he couldn't see the vulnerability that she knew was lying in her eyes. He cared so much for her. She knew it. He cared enough to throw himself down a hole to rescue her. She was at least going to make sure that his landing would be soft and that he wouldn't be going on a complete suicide mission. "That gravity bomb will stop your fall."

Not sparing another second, Lightning leapt down into the borehole, the electric barrier surrounding her form. She kept her eyes focused before her, watching the hollow's walls whip past her. The journey took a while before there was a turn. Swiftly raising her hand, Lightning slowed her Grav-Con's propulsion so she could direct herself into the turn easier. She slid out of the hole immediately following the change of course, the unit catching her fall as she came upon a large passageway within the mountain.

Snapping her fingers again, the young woman shut down the AMP, conserving its energy. Her glow stick sat at the base of the hole, the only light within the otherwise pitch black area. Lightning slipped her hand into her pouch, deftly procuring her flashlight from it before switching it on. Looking into the hole, she could see the sudden turn the burrow took. If someone were to fall down it, they most certainly would have died there. _So, since Sazh's body isn't here, he's either not down here, didn't die when he fell, or..._ She could feel the grimace pinching her face. _Something carried him off._

Lightning left the glow stick where it was, knowing that she would need to find the specific hole after she was done traipsing around in the monsters' den. Using her flashlight, she cautiously took in her new surroundings. The hollow passageway was considerably bigger than the hole she had come through. By the size of it, it was made for something much more massive than whatever creature had made the burrow, or possibly made for a large mass of monsters to scurry through. _Or both. That doesn't really improve my optimistic outlook on this little side mission._

The dirt walls were frozen, but slightly damp with a small buildup of condensation. It was frigid, though the temperature was still more favorable than up above. Lightning took in a small breath, immediately regretting it afterwards. Restraining a gag, the soldier steeled herself. Although the scents characteristic of such a place were expected, such as must and dirt, there was a very strong odor that had blindsided her.

The entire place reeked of death and fresh blood. _I should have expected this. But... not this strong..._ She was in a monster's home, after all. They had to feed too. _And from what I've seen of monsters in general, they aren't very delicate when eating._ Holding her gloved hand beneath her nose, Lightning began breathing only through her mouth.

Swallowing back the bile forming in her throat, Lightning pressed on. _Just... Maker, tell me that isn't Sazh._ Focusing her mind, she trudged on in search of her friend. She had a limited time to find Sazh. Not only could he still be alive, he could be in incredible danger. But she also had to think of Zalera and Hope. She most definitely didn't want them down with her. She had to be quick to make it back out before her half hour was up. If she didn't locate Sazh by then, then she would leave him.

A ways down, Lightning came upon a small cave. With her hand ready on her blade, she slowly guided her flashlight in. The cave was empty. Of anything alive, anyway. To her immense displeasure it was full of bones and lasting remnants of carcasses. Her azure irises scanned over all of the remains, careful to look for any detail that could pertain to her search. A quick assessment told her that all of the remains in sight were of monsters. Ready to carry on, she was stopped by the minute sound of claws scraping in the dirt. One of the mountain's critters was coming towards her.

Lightning swiftly shut off her flashlight with an imperceptible click and ducked into the little gore-filled room, masking her presence with the darkness. She waited for the creature to pass, not allowing herself to think of the squishing bodies under her boots or the sharp bones biting into her skin. Closing her eyes, the soldier listened to it, building a profile of the monster in her mind. One stride held six perceptible steps, claws scratching against the dirt with each step. Something much like a tail seemed to sway along in the dirt behind it. A light hiss sounded from it as well, the noise bouncing around the cavern's walls.

Though she kept her muscles locked and her body still, she couldn't help it as her boot slid in some of the gore she was hiding in. A loud squelch came in return, along with a queasy feeling in her gut. The monster stopped, its hissing hitching for a brief second. Waiting and listening for any further disturbance, the monster made no move. _Just keep moving on._ It then changed course and Lightning held her breath as she heard it come closer.

Sniffing. That was the next thing she heard, and it was almost right next to her ear. The creature began sniffing inside the cave, attempting to ferret out what had made the noise. The soldier was up against the wall of the small cave, still out of sight, but the being's nose couldn't have been more than five or six feet away. Each sniff was sharp in the soldier's ear, cutting deeply into the calm she was attempting to hold onto. Lightning kept her hand tightly wrapped around the hilt of her gunblade, ready to attack if it caught her presence. She'd have to end it quickly with her blade. A bullet would be far too loud and most assuredly attract even more unwanted attention. Its hissing began again, this time sounding much more feral. Lightning readied herself to strike.

But then it quieted. The monster turned away, slowly slinking off down the underground corridors. She didn't allow an inch of movement nor a single breath until the critter was out of earshot.

When the silence reigned once again, she heaved in some quick breaths, drinking in the air into her lungs. Cursing the muck that had almost given away her position, Lightning made her way back out into the underground chamber. Deciding that risking exposure and a tussle with one of the beasts wasn't worth it, she carried on in the opposite direction of the foul thing.

She had to find Sazh. She had to. Just imagining that creature tearing into the man sent her into overdrive. If any of them had harmed him, then Lightning would take them all out.

* * *

Zalera remained on guard, vigilant, keeping her ears open for the location of the Behemoths and her eyes peeled for any more on coming enemies. They weren't going to be snuck up on again. The woman did occasionally allow her eyes to glance at Hope, the man sitting rigidly at the edge of the burrow, his gaze never leaving its depths. "Have faith in your girl."

"I do," snapped Hope in a barbed tone. It was the first words he'd spoken since Lightning dove underground. He waited impatiently, anxiously, the fingers of his right hand wound achingly tight around the hilt of his blade. His other hand gripped the rim around the deep hole. Emerald eyes taking on a deep intensity, they remained dedicated to their spot, trained for any sight of pink that may arise from the darkness. He was beyond irritated and restless.

His anger was mostly directed at himself. _How could I have let him slip away so easily? I'm supposed to watch out for them. For my family. If I'm supposed to be so fucking powerful, how come I can't ever protect the ones I care for?_ Biting his lip in vexation, Hope could only pray to the very beings that had bestowed him and his comrades with such a fate. He abhorred this. Waiting. He wanted to be down there, finding his friend and decimating any creature that dared to get in his way. But, once again, he'd been stopped and another was sent to take his place. Because he wasn't strong enough. Because he wasn't skilled enough. Or, the reason that pissed him off the most, because he was too important.

How was his life any more important than the lives of his soldiers or his people? Why was he the only invaluable soul that couldn't be spared? He wanted to lead his people not only from behind his cozy desk, but also on the front lines. Yet no one would let him.

Here he was, yet again letting another take on the responsibility. And it was none other than Lightning, the woman he loved, holding his burdens. All he wanted for the woman was a calm, peaceful life. The life she deserved after all of the battles. She'd selflessly sacrificed herself enough. She'd given up enough for Serah. He wasn't going to have her give up anything more for him.

_I do trust you, Light. I know you can protect yourself. I know that better than anyone._ She had always been on the front lines with Snow and Fang, taking most of the hits and defending him, Sazh and Vanille. The woman never walked away from a battle, always stood her ground, and did it with pride. _You're the strongest person I know. But is it so wrong to want to protect you as you protect me? To want to fight with you? You don't have to fight alone. Not anymore._

"Please, come back to me in one piece, Light." Hope let the minutes tick by, restraining himself from going down early. "I trust you..."

* * *

The quiet air left Lightning with goose bumps as she crept around the corridors. An indescribable aura hung over her head. Almost haunting, in a way. As if the ghosts of the eaten monsters clung to the walls, eternally damned to the dens of the very creatures that had so gruesomely ended their lives. Was that to be Sazh's fate?

Lightning shook off the unwanted thoughts. Letting her mind go there didn't help. She needed to focus on her search. She could worry about the consequences of not finding him later. Her time was running out. She hadn't come across another mountain critter yet, though she was certain that that wasn't the last that she would see of them. Every time she turned a corner or peeped into another cavern, she was ready for one to be there.

Coming up ahead of her was another, much larger, cave off to her right side. She took a moment, calming her restless thoughts and tensing up her muscles before peering cautiously inside. Her flashlight slowly slid in, illuminating the room, for otherwise, the den sat in darkness as the rest of the tunnels did.

Lightning's eyes widened as her light hit one of the monsters. She quickly jolted back, her light now off. When a minute passed and no noise or noticeable movement could be detected, she warily turned her light back on and flashed it over the creature. It lay there on its back, paws up and in the air, twitching slightly. Its eyes were closed, its jaw in a gape as a small, growlish snore erupted from its throat.

It was asleep. It seems she'd caught a break. Lightning allowed her flashlight to linger on the beast, keeping the light out of its eyes. The monster was no bigger than the pup of a Lobo. It had grey fur, except on its back where a large, dull black shell rested. Six small legs held large paws with small, yet very sharp claws. A long furry tail laid limply on the ground. A particularly loud grumble caused Lightning to look once again at its mouth where very jagged and uninviting teeth waited. Its snout stuck out quite a bit, its nose ending in a point. In her mind's eye, she could see just how close she had been to the other mountain animal's nose. She was amazed she'd gotten away undetected.

Drawing her light away, another noise came from the other side of the room. As she went to search its owner out, she saw just how many monsters she'd stumbled upon. Nearly twenty monsters lay around the room, all in some form and depth of slumber. _Thank the Maker for small miracles._

Her gaze caught one detail that caused a shiver to run up her spine. In the center of the pack were a couple large carcasses of Chonchons. _Well, I guess we know who preys on who around here..._ The beasts' mouths and claws were covered in blood, presumably of the fallen birds. Some of them seemed coated in it, as if they had rolled around in the stuff. _And if I don't get my ass out of here, it's going to be me that their covered in next._

Lightning went to turn away, set to continue on further, before a harsh whisper caught her attention.

"Hey! 'Someone there? Help me, please?!"

The urgent call sparked some recognition within the eldest Farron's mind and she whirled around, her light flashing in the direction of the plea. _Holy shit..._ It was Sazh. The man was still alive. She had hoped for this outcome, but she had been sure that she would find him dead, or not at all. "Sazh?" she hissed.

"Lightning?"

Sazh laid beside two other monsters, Chonchons as well. One was dead, the other still hanging on, though it wouldn't last much longer with the gash across its chest. The three of them were in the corner of the den, past all of the monsters.

Apprehension gripped her limbs as her eyes took in the rest of the room around the pilot. All self-preserving thoughts left behind, Lightning forced herself forward. Silently and confidently she made her way carefully around the monsters. Around the corpses and bones. Her eyes held onto Sazh's terrified ones, making sure he knew, without doubt, that she was getting him out of there.

Sazh felt immense relief fill his quivering body. He'd been laying there awake for the past ten minutes, trying to find a way to get up and out of his position. With his busted leg, he'd almost lost hope, but a light began to glow in his room, like an angelic sign letting him know he wasn't alone, ready to guide him out. But it hadn't been divine intervention. It was Lightning. How she had been able to find him, he didn't frankly care. He was beyond ready to leave the horrifying place those creatures called a home. Sazh had listened to them tear into the Chonchons. They had ripped into the shrieking Cie'th with delight, some so excited that they had literally bounced and rolled in the blood and remains of their feast, or so he assumed from the sounds.

That wasn't going to be him next.

Lightning came to his side, her foot taking one last step out of the danger zone and over the belly of the enemy. "Are you hurt?"

_Would I still be lying here otherwise?_ Sazh nodded, gesturing to his now very bum limb. "My leg," he croaked. He attempted to shift, a roaring pain then shooting through his body. Clenching his teeth, he stifled his agony filled cry. Worn hands fisted against the ground as he continued to get up. He had to bear the pain and get out. He didn't want to die. He couldn't. How would Dajh survive without him? Sazh couldn't bear the thought of his son waking up to find him gone.

Lightning stopped the persistent man and shoved a bottle into his hands. It was her last potion and not a very strong one, but it would have to do until they got to Hope. Using her light, she turned to look at the man's leg. It looked excruciatingly painful. Claws had torn through the pants of his right leg and into the awaiting skin and muscle. Blood covered most of the wounds, burying most of the severe trauma from sight.

Sazh drank the potion swiftly, allowing the tonic to hastily flow into his system, repairing and regrowing a minimal amount of his shredded flesh and ripped apart veins. The pain that it eased was only slight, but still significant enough. He winced as Lightning hefted him up, his arm around her shoulder and hers around his waist. Most of his weight was placed on the soldier, but she only grunted in complaint.

Lightning handed him the flashlight so she could focus on getting him upright. She was aware of every unintentional and reflexive sound they emitted. It was unfortunate, but necessary. With Sazh's serious injury, she was surprised at how quiet he was while being jostled around.

The light crept over the room again, this time by Sazh's control. It was shaky, but he could hardly steady his hand as the trembling wracked his frame. There were so many. He'd known that there were a lot as he'd listened to them all, but he had tried not to imagine any of it. Every one of the monsters had quieted and calmed dramatically after their meal. He'd expected them to go for him next, but instead, he'd begun hearing snores.

They were everywhere around the small room. Sazh couldn't see an easy pathway in sight. How was he supposed to get through? Hop over them all? He could hardly walk, let alone jump. A quick glimpse of the soldier's perturbed face told him she was thinking the same thing.

Sazh tried unsuccessfully to put his weight onto his leg again. He had to do it. He had to get out of there. All it did was send a jolt of searing pain through his limb. Remorse and sorrow watered his eyes as he thought about the woman who'd come for him, the woman that was trying desperately to get him out. Sazh considered his options. He wouldn't be able to maneuver around the beasts laying at their feet. Not with enough grace to keep them in their slumber.

He had to think seriously for a long moment. Was it right? Should he put his life above the soldier next to him? The chances of him getting out were slim. But Lightning could still make it. Her experienced and limber form could make it out before he'd even made the first move.

If she stayed with him, futilely trying to get him out, they would both get caught and they would both die. He couldn't let Lightning die for him. She had an entire life ahead of her. A life to live with Hope. And Hope would take care of Dajh. They'd already talked about it once before.

Lightning sensed his hesitancy and didn't allow his sacrificial thoughts to take root. "I'm not leaving you," she breathed, heaving his body up even more onto hers. She would leave no room for argument.

Before Sazh could respond, the dying Chonchon let out some last defiant shrieks, its body writhing as its wings scraped dreadfully against the dirt. And like that, the room began to stir. The once content and slumbering monsters began to rise, their teeth bearing in the wake of the sounds and in the bright, harsh light.

Lightning leant Sazh onto the wall and whipped out her gunblade, her body remaining protectively in front of the man. Sazh warily reached for his lone pistol, holding it in his unoccupied hand. "You got anything other than your gun, Sazh?"

He shook his head, knowing what she was getting at. She didn't want to draw in even more creatures with the ruckus. "You can still leave. I'll hold them off," he offered, strong determination in his eyes.

"Not a chance." She sent a smirk over her shoulder. She wasn't leaving the man to be mauled. He meant too much to her to leave him behind under any circumstances.

One beast lunged at her, its teeth primed to claim her. Lightning slashed at it with her blade, only for her weapon to clang against the creature's shell as it ducked. It curled up into a ball then, its body encased in the hard cover as it rolled towards her. Dodging the monster, Lightning fended off another attack by another set of teeth. Shots sounded, resounding throughout the tunnels.

The critter fell dead as smoke rose from Sazh's barrel. "I guess we'll be livening up the joint then." The creatures screeched and howled in the wake of their kin's fall. All then scrambled up from their positions and joined the fight, snarling and striking at the attackers in a frenzy.

* * *

They let the passage of time sink into the backdrop until Lightning's requested thirty minutes crept by. Both were incredibly antsy to get their teammates back and their hearts were practically thundering in tandem as they waited. It'd been long enough. Hope seized the resting gravity bomb from its temporary place in the snow.

"At least this saves us the trouble of finding an alternate route where we wouldn't get detected by the herd." Hope's brow crinkled in confusion as she came up to his side. "Didn't you notice?" Zalera's narrowed gaze returned to where they'd last heard from the pack. "They're getting closer. Even if Sazh hadn't gone missing, we wouldn't have survived up here. I think our only option is down."

Hope's stare turned cold as he looked up to the Pulsian. "But we'd all still be together. We'd be able to make the decision together, had this not happened." Hope turned to the device in his hands, his finger hovering over its switch. "What if we don't find him? What if we don't find either of them? What if they're..." The word sat in his throat like a rock, choking him and watering his eyes. A tense hand landed on his shoulder, but he didn't let its owner speak. "No, we have to find them."

Zalera faced him, their gazes locking as a strained smile surfaced upon her features. "Lightning doesn't die. She has her own brand of immortality. As for Sazh...We won't lose him." The woman nodded, assuring herself as much as the teen beside her. "We can't lose our pops, can we?"

Hope couldn't help the chuckle that bubbled up from his chest. He gave her a genuine smile, extremely happy to have Zalera at his side. He'd never regret befriending the woman. She completed their team well.

With a deep breath, Hope activated the tech and dropped it down the hole. He waited a few moments, making sure it would have enough time to hit the ground before he would. "Wait two minutes, just to make sure that we don't land on top of each other."

She barked out a laugh, envisioning how that would play out. "Alright, let's go rescue their sorry asses."

Unable to contain himself any longer, Hope jumped, leaving the howling winds and icy flakes behind him. He had a family to pull back together.


	24. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Alright, let's go rescue their sorry asses."

The fight was a blur of teeth, claws, howling and yelling. Darkness and the surroundings allied with the mountain dwellers, allowing them to get ahead in the battle. Lightning didn't allow this to deter her, however. Her instincts were ready and roaring, assuring her with quick reflexes and ease of movement. Sight was lost for the most part. Since Sazh had also been swept up in the crazed brawl, the light was going this way and that, aiding him, but only distracting her. So she shut it out, letting her other senses guide her.

She wasn't faring badly. A few nips and claw scrapes were her only wounds whereas she'd managed to take out much of the beast family's number. Every swipe of her blade and every shot of her gun managed to hit some piece of her target and that was all she could really ask for in such circumstances.

Her mind was clear of all outside interference, all nonsense that could distract her from her battle. She didn't let her thoughts stray from landing another hit or dodging another blow. The only thing she let herself think about was survival. Her concentration was held solely by the decimation of the still unknown creatures she was fighting, and the injured man fighting beside her.

One last howl rang in her ears as the mountain pup collided with the ground, its body producing no further movement. With the ending of the cave dwellers came a few, very precious moments of peace. Lightning allowed her guard to lower, her hand loosening from its firm, iron grip around her weapon and her tense stance relaxing as she leaned against the wall for brief support.

"That could have gone... better," sputtered Sazh before he too came to the ground, the flashlight slipping from his fingertips and rolling away in the dirt. His leg had finally given out. Leaving was already going to be a trial. And now he had new wounds that hindered their escape even more.

Swiftly, Lightning hurried to his side. "Sazh, you-"

"No." The man's strained voice was steely and stern. There was no way he was getting out of the caverns. If this was to be his end, he wasn't getting Lightning killed too. "You gotta go. Now. If you stay here, we're both dead."

Her left eye twitched irritably at the pilot's command. Apparently he hadn't heard her earlier. "I said-"

"And I said-"

"Dammit, Sazh, I will knock you out and drag your ass out of this hell hole if I have to. Look at me." Sazh did, seeing only a faded shadow of the woman's wholly serious face in the dim, off focused light. " _I'm not leaving you,_ " she ground out as she grabbed his shoulder and forced the man up. "You're important to this team and I'm not letting you be another casualty of that bitch, got it?" She was getting Sazh through this mission and she was going to get him home.

Sazh shook his head at the stubborn brute of a woman, but found that his stamina was already far too weak to endure the simple strain of an argument. With a breathy scoff, he conceded. "Fine, but when we're being feasted on by those ravenous... things, I reserve the right to say I told you so."

Lightning smirked and began making her way toward the exit of the little monster corpse riddled cave. She dragged Sazh along beside her, his boots scraping languidly against the dirt as he tried to help. Their pace was excruciatingly slow, but they were getting somewhere.

The quiet caves and their heavy pants were the only sound until more screeching was heard ahead of them, halting them in their tracks. Lightning's hold strengthened instantly on the man as they stood there, listening to another batch of the mountain monsters making their way towards them. She could feel Sazh's trembling worsen as the cries increased in volume and number. The man wouldn't make it through another battle. Not in his condition. Not this time. He could hardly stand, let alone fight.

"It'll be alright, Lightning. We need to keep moving." Sazh wasn't going to wait and hide until they were spotted. He wasn't a coward. If he was going to die, it was going to be fighting.

Lightning could only agree. They had to try and get out when they could. If there was still any way that they could escape out of there, then they had to take it, even if it meant an ensuing battle in the mix. But intense trepidation instantly rippled under her skin. Her feet would not move. Her muscles ignored her brain's commands to continue forward.

If they engaged in another brawl, Sazh would not make it.

A stream of gunfire mixed in with the howling and snarls, causing the soldier's blood to run cold. A loud explosion rocked the caverns, presumably some semblance of a fire spell. _Oh, Etro..._ Had her time limit already run out? It was a serious possibility considering how much time it had taken to seek out their missing companion and fight off the vicious monsters from consuming their meal.

"Zalera!"

The loud call of the Pulsian's name furthered Lightning's worry and concern. Hope was down in the caves. Hope was fighting those very same beasts that had been a handful even for her.

"I'm fine."

Zalera's pained gasp followed her declaration, only proving otherwise. Lightning's muscles trembled and her fingers twitched, itching to rush out and fight. She needed to go out and protect her comrades. She needed to protect him. But she already had a severely wounded teammate that needed her protection and she had a duty to defend and shield the man should any critters find them.

Lightning had no choice but to wait and trust that Hope could handle himself. She had to put faith in his growth and newfound experience. Hope was indeed older. He was very much stronger. The small quivering boy that she'd once sheltered and guarded no longer needed her coddling or safeguarding. He was now a man that could fight and fight well. Over the years that she'd missed, Hope had trained and fought, gaining the skill and power that he'd once lacked. Hope could protect himself. Hope could fight and protect his friends.

_I'll leave this battle to you, Hope._

He was very capable of saving the world. She had to let him fight his own battles. At least, every once in a while. She'd be damned if she was going to abandon her duty to protect him completely. For now, she had to wait. For now, she would let him fight.

_I trust you..._

Sazh took a small, unsteady step forward, only to be held back by the soldier's unyielding grasp. "Aren't we-" Her expression was schooled, withdrawn of any decipherable emotion. The man was stunned by the fact that she was not rushing to their friends' aid. It was extremely unlike her and he couldn't understand why, of all times, the woman had chosen to freeze up now. Repeatedly, he attempted to move in the battle's direction, but Lightning's pertinacious resistance didn't allow him to slip an inch from her grip.

With further observation, Sazh could see it - the serious strain she was forcing herself to endure. Her jaw was set, teeth clenched, and her dread filled azure orbs stared at the entrance. The fingers that held Sazh's arm like a vice were digging deeply into his muscle. Lightning was doing everything she could to hold back.

The battle seemed to go on for ages, every minute causing an ever increasing sting in her heart. She could hear the resonant metallic sounds of Hope's gunblade and Zalera's chakrams as they met the shielding barriers atop the monsters' backs. Every growl and yelp the creatures made met her ears, along with every grunt and groan of her allies. Hope and Zalera weren't far and the silence of the caves illuminated the sounds of their battle greatly.

Lightning could only imagine the mass that would no doubt be coming for her comrades soon. If she and Sazh could hear the fight with such clarity, then the rest of the mountain's residents could surely hear it as well. It was only a matter of time before more would come to the beasts' aid.

* * *

The bodies of those already defeated littered the ground at their feet. Hope had ignited some of their carcasses, the remnants of the critters breathing new life into the flames, illuminating the room and giving the two struggling warriors their sight back.

Zalera's chakram embedded itself into the attacking monster's eye just before the creature could ball itself back up. It fell dead and the green haired woman swiftly yanked her weapon back to her side.

Zalera turned away from her last kill to face another snarling beast. Its slimy nose rose in the air, sniffing rapidly as it eyed her still bleeding thigh hungrily. The beast yearned for a fresh meal of something much rarer than their usual monster meat, but Zalera wasn't willing to be the next main course.

Balling itself up, the creature rolled toward her. Flinging a chakram at the ball, Zalera watched it uselessly strike the shiny black shell. The mountain critter lunged out of its ball as it came to Zalera's waiting form, some of its claws lodging themselves in her side. The paw's nails, now deeply embedded in her abdomen, scraped down her skin. The woman cried out at the strike, finding the pain to be overwhelming.

A long tongue slithered out from between the monster's jagged teeth, soon lapping at the blood that seeped from Zalera's wound. Raising her arm to strike the beast away, Zalera was caught off guard by another rounded creature. It hit from behind, knocking her backwards and over it. Back hitting the ground, the Pulsian tried to immediately scramble up and out of her vulnerable position, but failed as her original attacker - whose claws were still rooted inside her - pounced fully onto her form, keeping her firmly pinned to the ground.

The beast bared its teeth at her, eyes alight with sheer delight at its trapped prey. Blood red irises focused on her throat and a thick vein that slightly protruded through the skin. With a sharp growl, it attacked, teeth rapidly descending toward the awaiting meat.

Sucking in a sharp breath, Zalera swung her chakram before her, protecting herself from the creature's snarling mouth. It's teeth clicked hard against her chakram's spike and she swallowed heavily at the thoughts of those teeth sinking into her flesh. The monster attacked fervently, snapping and biting down onto the offending weapon as its claws ripped against Zalera's abdomen. Cringing, the woman felt the rabid beast's drool drip down onto her face and its saliva spray against her.

It kept at it, attacking and attacking. Zalera was losing strength and her chakram began its own slow decent towards her, the monster's eager eyes widening with each inch it gained.

Desperate fingers clawed the ground beside her. The green haired woman reached towards her other chakram that had previously been knocked out of her grasp, her slender fingers stretching out as far as possible. The lone hand withholding the beast wavered as the nails of her other hand scraped in the dirt until just grazing the metal of her chakram. The critter was getting closer, but so was she. _Almost... there..._

Cutting off the head of another mountain creature, Hope took note of the large mass of new monsters coming their way. He couldn't let them get any farther. With a flick of his wrist, the young man sent out a dozen small aero cyclones into the approaching herd. It appeared to have no affect against them as they only continued to scurry closer.

Backing up, Hope nearly stumbled over a fallen monster as he cast a libra. Immediately, he was able to see through his enemy almost entirely, their bodies exposed before his eyes like an x-ray. His heightened sight allowed him to see the enemy's every detail internally and outwardly. His knowledge about the creatures automatically increased, their strengths and weaknesses flashing through his mind in an instant. Their greatest vulnerability appeared to be fire.

Bursting out from his fingertips, a firaga flew through the air, immediately clinging onto the spinning tornadoes. The flames fed on the oxygen, soon engulfing the cyclones completely.

A chorus of shrieks and screeches rose from the mass as the fiery tornadoes swept the monsters up, burning them until nothing but charred bones remained. Hope watched their bodies in the blazing show, eyes wide and hands trembling. His instincts had sent him on overdrive, allowing his body to move without thought or command.

Now as he stood, captive to the scene before him, he realized just how deadly he was. The creatures all howled and roared in pain as the flames ate at them. _How could I have..._

Hope turned away, disgusted at the sight. "Zalera!" he shouted as his eyes swept over what was visible of the rest of the cave. Sweat poured down his back from the exertion and the fire that was rapidly heating up the caverns. He attempted another call, but began choking on the hot smoke around him. With one quick check back, Hope assured himself that all of the oncoming attackers were dead before drawing back his spells. The fires instantly died out, the remaining tornado winds then dispersing into the air.

Pulling up his shirt in front of his mouth, the director searched out his last companion, not seeing her anywhere. As he was about to call out once again, he was struck from the side by another monster.

Hope rolled in the dirt, his body colliding roughly with the wall. Holding his throbbing chest, he glanced up, taking in his newest opponent. One surviving pup stood, its shell charred as a light smoke drifted off of the beast's body. Burns covered most of its exposed skin and blood matted down any remaining singed hair. Although one of its eyes twitched, looking horribly wounded, the other blood filled orb stared sharply into Hope's soul, promising vengeance and a merciless death.

Lip curling, the lone mountain dweller charged at its target. Hope stilled for a moment, seeing the monster come at him with such intense zeal despite its thoroughly wrecked body. The man could only admire the savage beast - its strong avidity and determination - even as it met its end to the gunblade held within his hand.

Nearly collapsing against the wall behind him, Hope stared at the bodies of the defeated, his slightly unfocused gaze regarding every wound he'd inflicted. _This shouldn't have had to have happened. You should have been able to continue living on peacefully in your caves... But we weren't giving you Sazh..._

His regretful gaze scanned the hall, searching out his teammate once again. Her name was on his lips when a hoarse groan erupted from a creature's body. Scrambling for his gunblade, Hope watched its form shift slightly, the body slowly rising from the dirt. It wasn't until the body was thrown to the side, that Hope realized that it was already dead.

Zalera groaned with the effort it took to topple the dead thing off of her. When she was free of the weight, she began coughing harshly on the smoky air still drifting in the caves. Her hand immediately came shakily to her side as she sat up. Her breathing was shallow and she found it incredibly hard to take in air, but at least she was breathing at all. Her stunned eyes focused on her weapon that was thoroughly lodged in the previously attacking monster.

A relieved smile came to Hope's face as he bolted over to the Pulsian. He'd doubted her for a minute there, but he should have known better. The woman's blank face stared at the creature she'd wrestled off as her remaining chakram stayed clasped tightly in her palm. "Zalera? You can let go now." Hope drew the weapon from her clenched fist and set it beside him on the ground.

The woman made no other movement and didn't even seem to register his existence. Biting his lip, Hope glimpsed her injuries, soon beginning to heal them where they sat. The wounds put up a small struggle. There was a poison laced in the gashes and lacerations that caused his healing spells to falter. It appeared that the creatures had a hidden talent that had gone unnoticed before.

As he continued to fight the poison off and heal Zalera's wounds, he could feel the poison from his own injuries slowly creep into his veins. His marks were mere scratches compared to the Pulsian's battle ailments, so he held off healing himself.

Wincing as she felt Hope's magic sewing her skin back together, Zalera bit the inside of her cheek. This process was always painful. She could remember when she'd first experienced the work of a healer. Back when Yeul's true guardian still lived. The magic was always warm and soothing, caressing gently over the wounds, but the regeneration of skin and veins as they stretched and reconnected, of bones as they joined back together, generally clouded over any comfort the magic first gave. "Thanks," she croaked automatically as the teen finished.

Hope grinned at her, seeing life slowly coming back into her hazy gaze. His mirth was cut short when he heard a loud snort sound from behind him. Spinning around, Hope met a sight that instantly brought even more joy to his features.

"Laying around on the job, huh?" Sazh joked as he clung to a certain soldier's side.

Hope's smile fell as he took in the sight of the man, the venom from his lacerations most assuredly making its way to Sazh's heart. Leaving Zalera to sit and recover, Hope bounded over to the two newcomers, soon taking Sazh off of Lightning's hands. He set the man down against a wall, readying himself to attack the many wounds.

Lightning almost couldn't believe her eyes. Hope was alive and nearly unscathed. The paralyzing fear that had grasped her heart receded as the young man came forward. Such unbearable relief and elation filled her and she couldn't stop herself as she gripped Hope's collar and pulled him in close.

Rough lips captured his in a bruising kiss he hadn't seen coming and he basked in their warmth. Lightning was alive. She had found Sazh and kept herself and the pilot alive. His happiness was immeasurable. Kissing her back with equal fervor, Hope entwined his fingers in her hair before pulling away. Their eyes met as Hope let his hand cup Lightning's pale cheek. _I missed you._ Long fingers slid down her smooth skin until they reached her neck, the slightly erratic pulse playing beautifully under his fingertips.

With an uncontainable smile, Hope kissed her once more. He could have stayed like that forever, with his beloved in his arms, but he had a man to heal and repair.

Allowing Hope to begin helping Sazh, Lightning stepped away. She didn't know what had come over her. Seeing the man still whole and smiling had instantly arrested her heart and pulled her to him. It was a magnetic pull that she had never before felt.

_He's okay. Really, truly okay..._

The craving to be near him had been sated for now and she made her way over to the silent, elder young woman. Zalera was a mess of sweat and blood. Sticky monster saliva dripped off of her chin and began to pool on the ground beneath her. Yet she sat there numbly, her hands limp at her sides and her gaze resting on the dirt. Taking out a cloth from her pouch, Lightning cleaned off some of the muck from her friend's exposed skin, putting herself to some use.

No words were spoken as Lightning and Hope busied themselves caring for Zalera and Sazh. None were needed. For now, they basked in the tranquil silence that wrapped around them both.

Hope's hands grazed over Sazh's leg. The poison had already seeped well into his system and it took a lot of Hope's concentration to heal the man. The pilot's breathing was labored as his chest rose and fell at an alarming speed. Sweat dripped down Sazh's clammy skin while he came under the beginnings of a fever. The silveret kept a close eye on the man's heartbeat during the healing process. Excessive healing had been known to cause heart attacks. That coupled with the poison caused Hope to become beyond nervous. The palpitations of the organ remained relatively normal under the circumstances and for this, Hope was extremely grateful.

As his trembling hands accomplished their job, they came to rest atop his own thighs. "You oka-" The man rested peacefully before him, his breathing ragged, but calming slowly. Taking a breath, Hope spent a few moments healing his own injuries, the task being far easier. Emerald eyes rose to look upon his elder and he patted his shoulder gently, mindful that his body needed this small nap. "It's good to have you back with us, Sazh."

"'Is he in one piece now?" asked Lightning from beside Zalera. The Pulsian was still staring off at nothing in particular, her muscles incredibly tense even after the spans of time since the battle. Lightning wiped one last spot of slobber from the woman's shoulder before tossing the cloth aside and standing to join Hope. "Must have been some battle. She's out of it."

Hope grimaced as he glanced at the zoned Pulsian and then the slumbering pilot, both surrounded by carcasses and blood. "I think she's just stunned, is all. She took some harsh blows." Taking in the woman before him, Hope jolted into action, seeing Lightning's wounds that too needed healed.

"I'm fine, Hope. They're just scratches-"

"They're laced with poison, Light." Adamant eyes stared back into her intense stare. His gentle hands grazed over each scrape and every bite, though they didn't need to. Hope always took his time, making sure every trauma was tended to and healed to perfection. "I'm so happy you're okay. You have no idea how worried I was."

Hope's tender touch only added to the extreme ease that came with the healing of her injuries. After healing a mark, his fingers would lightly glide against it, caressing the newly mended skin. A sensual flame sparked beneath each small contact and it left her speechless.

It had nearly killed her. Every second of their separation. That feeling of complete dependence with a wavering lilt of obsession caused pre-l'Cie Lightning to internally scoff. But a part of her, a small shard of her soul that seemed to grow bigger and stronger every day, reveled in the evolution of her emotions. She would have to _properly_ thank the man later for such a development.

As a hazy fog in her mind grew and as the pulsing magnetism between the two strengthened, Lightning could only submit to the sheer yearning she felt for him. "Neither do you." Sealing off any possible replies with another heated and thought consuming kiss, the roseate let their surroundings melt away. She needed Hope to understand how maddening their separation had been for her as well, to feel her true feelings that she couldn't otherwise express.

The woman's attentions brought Hope to a screeching halt, his tightly wound nerves and lightly lit aggravation easily being assuaged by the unusual, impassioned actions. Hope allowed himself to simply slip into her warmth, his awakening lust firmly heightened by her rich taste that was always so agonizingly enticing. Heated breaths left parted lips as he lifted his gaze to meet hers. After all this time it was still shocking to find that these little moments weren't just the mere illusions of a crystallized fourteen year old.

"You, Estheim, have some nerve making your subordinate worry like that."

A grin surfaced across his visage. This woman filled him with feelings she could never understand. "And you, Farron, have a lot of nerve making your superior wait like that."

"Good to know that mine and Sazh's predicaments don't stifle your libido at all." Zalera stood and collected her chakrams, regarding the two lovesick dorks with an expression of amusement. "Really, my stomach is already doing flips, your _adorable_ little display is going to make me hurl."

Disentangling herself from Hope, Lightning folded her arms across her chest and shook her head. "You're one to talk. Your sappiness could rival Hope's sometimes, I swear."

"Hey!" Hope exclaimed jovially, a little affronted, yet clearly pleased with the lighthearted teasing from both women.

The corner of Zalera's mouth twitched with the hint of a smile. Bringing her senses back from her rather close call, the Pulsian ran a hand through her deep green tresses, her fingers getting mildly stuck in the messy strands. She sneered as her hand came back sticky and wet. "Well, isn't that pleasant?" With a roll of the eyes and a slow, calming sigh, she turned back to her teammates. "Is Sazh okay? I can't believe... How'd you find him?"

"Dumb luck. They had already engorged themselves on the Cie'th they'd caught. Sazh was just laying there. His leg was messed up from getting dragged around so he couldn't move, but all of the monsters were sleeping like they didn't care. If they hadn't gone to sleep... He wouldn't have had a chance."

Zalera gave the dead beasts at her feet a look of extreme distaste. "I guess, but a lot of Pulsian monsters and animals keep their rare finds and kills for their-"

A brain-splitting screech emanated from the bowels of the caves. Hands instantly clamped over ears as they ineffectively tried to shut out the haze inducing noise. A rumbling quake sent them all to their hands and knees as something made its way towards them. The shrill shrieks continued on as it closed in on the debilitated group.

Hope struggled to push himself up. His concentration was shattered as all thoughts rebounded to the agony inducing cries. "Ugh... what... is that?"

Raising herself up, Lightning attempted to will away the screaming howls and focus on the apparent new target. Her head ached and she could feel a warm liquid running from her ear and down her neck. A quick swipe of her fingers along the trail confirmed her suspicions. Her ear was bleeding. Steadying her gaze, she could tell that both of Hope's and even Zalera's and Sazh's were too.

Firmly gripping her weapon, the soldier stood before her comrades. _Come on. Come at me._

With large, rage-filled stomps, a massive monster burst through the darkness, its red eyes wild. The beast was an enormous version of the pups they'd been fighting and Lightning no longer had to guess what the extra room in the main passageway was built for. Hair standing on end, the creature's eyes flew from body to body of the dead critters surrounding the invaders. Sorrow and fury seemed to fill the creature before it let out another skull-shattering yowl.

"For fucks sake, can't you all just die already?" Lightning brought her gunblade above her shoulder, her body taking up a usual stance in preparation for the fight. The beast snarled at the woman, its nose twitching.

Zalera came up beside her, slightly more unsteady on her feet. "You think that maybe they were saving Sazh for big mama here?"

Gritting her teeth, Lightning came to remember the circumstances she had found the pilot in and her rage towards the beasts reawakened. The fact that Hope was still struggling to collect himself from the giant's screeches only added kindling to the building fire. "Like I give a damn." _I'll take all of you out if I have to._

Bearing its jagged teeth, the monster snapped towards Lightning. The woman back flipped away, shooting directly into the mountain creature's face.

Sending his boomerang towards their target, Hope gave it a strong electric pulse to the nose, one of its more sensitive spots according to his libra analysis of the beings earlier. The shock was nearly insignificant to the monster, being of little consequence when compared to its large size. This was just fine for Hope. The attack was only used to distract the creature from Lightning.

Hoping to use a more invasive librascope, the Academy leader sent another spell deep into the core of the beast, groaning when the monster appeared to be immune to this tactic.

Zalera aimed her chakrams at the creature's paws, trying to topple it down and get a better angle at its face since the rest of its body was safely tucked inside its protective shell. This action only succeeded in pissing the giant off as it swiped at Zalera. The girl had just enough time to draw her weapons up as a small barrier before she was blown back into the cave wall. She hit the ground, her body falling heavily into the dirt before rolling a ways into the Argodian beast's path.

Hope's eyes widened as he noticed a massive paw rising to stomp on the disoriented Pulsian. While using his gunblade to shoot into the monster's eyes, Hope cast a protectra towards Zalera, praying to Lindzei that it would make it in time.

Zalera heard a loud stomp echo from above her. Lifting her head from the dirt quickly, she turned herself over to face the bottom of the enemy's foot. Its step had been hindered, a spell stopping it mere feet from her body. A nearly transparent barrier rippled beneath the monster's foot, its sheer and flimsy appearance masking its strength.

A massive amount of flames shot in front of the beast, soon snaking around its vulnerable paws. Although the attack did serve to pull the mother creature away from Zalera, it hardly frightened the beast unlike with its kin. Instead, the large mountain dweller grew angrier, letting out another enraged shriek.

Cursing at the harsh throbbing in her skull, Lightning ran at the enemy, shooting in its eyes and hoping to take out its sight. The monster attempted to lash out at her as it had Zalera, but Lightning managed to dodge the attack and jump onto its outstretched limb. Running swiftly towards its shoulders, the young woman made it up, then shooting down at her opponent's head.

The sight of Lightning atop their combatant spiked Hope's blood pressure into even worse levels than it already was, but all he could do was continue the fight and try to protect her from below. _You never make it easy for me, do you?_ Hope cringed at the thought of the giant, sharp claws of the beast hitting either of his partners. If they survived the attack, they wouldn't outlive the subsequent jolt of poison to their system - assuming this beast was just as venomous as the rest.

Without another minute of contemplation, Hope made quick work of casting veils over his group as well as himself.

Attempting to fling the soldier off of itself, the creature flailed its front legs around. Lightning kept herself balanced, jumping from spot to spot on top of the furry beast. One particular bat of its paw hit harshly against the wall directly above Sazh. Hope watched as some of the wall began to crumble and cave in. In a flash, he was above the man, the dirt and rock falling onto his own body instead.

"Hope!" Before Zalera could make it a step towards the teen, Lightning's loud grunt caught her attention.

Tired of uselessly attempting to shake the woman off, the beast balled itself up. Lightning fell off almost instantly and just barely caught herself as she landed. She watched the ball roll away and felt instant pins of fear strike every nerve in her body.

It was rolling towards Hope and Sazh.

Hope coughed as he lifted himself up. He shifted some rocks off of his back and drew in some heavy breaths, trying to recover quickly. Sazh was still knocked out and blissfully unaware of the goings on around him.

Frantic shouts stole Hope's attention and he turned to find the reason for his friends' worry. The beast was coming at him. Before he could react, his brand instantly pulsed with a bright yellow light that soon shot out in front of him. The light acted as a barrier and shielded the two from the incoming hit.

Through the magic Hope still took a strong blow. As if he'd taken the hit to his chest, the wind got knocked out of him and this sent him to his knees. With a few chokes and wheezes Hope remained in front of Sazh, staring at his brand in amazement. It took him too long to realize that it wasn't his brand that had protected him this time. It had been his eidolon. Since Alexander couldn't deploy without his enormous stature crumbling the caves, the fortress had attacked from within his host, sending out a shield of magic to protect his master.

After hitting against the wall of magic, the monster rolled back a ways before unfurling itself. Gripping her weapons with renewed vigor, Zalera sent them towards the Argodian monster, still trying to topple the beast and take out its mobility.

"Hope, are you okay?" Lightning ran up to Hope, seeing as Zalera was currently keeping the monstrous being occupied.

It took the man longer than usual to respond, his mind still thoroughly ensconced in what Alexander had just achieved. "Ah... yeah," he replied with a nod.

"And Sazh?"

"He's fine," Hope assured. He gave the man another shielding barrier from a protect spell in case something of the like should occur again.

"Good. Now... got any bright ideas on how to take this thing down?" Inquiring azure orbs flickered between him and the battle. The beast was strong, calculating, and fast. Its swift and jerky movements had kept Lightning from shooting its head or face, and she had been directly on top of it. _And with its shell... Hope's offensive magic doesn't seem to be doing a damn thing against it either._

"It's definitely stronger than the others." Brow furrowing, Hope set his mind on overdrive, analyzing the creature and its attacks. They had to take the creature out. Their lives were on the line. _If we don't make it out of here..._ Hope's eyes slid down to his brand and then over to Lightning. _...then everything we've gone through would have meant nothing._

A fierce recollection surged forward from the back of his mind then. Back when he and Zalera had been fighting their way through Pulse to get to salvation. Flashes of Zalera's strategy against one ferocious behemoth king brought up an idea.

"We need to get under it."

Lightning processed his words before a snicker fell from her lips. "Of course. Zalera's been trying to bring it down with no success and going at it from the top just brought even more pain to my neck." With a plan finally in motion, Lightning flew forward.

Before Hope could even get a word in, he watched Lightning make haste to put down the massive creature. _I didn't necessarily mean for_ you _to do it, Light._ Springing into action himself, Hope joined Zalera and attempted to keep the beast's attention diverted from his beloved. "Zalera, we need to keep its focus on us. Lightning's going to take it out from below."

With a slightly concerned glance toward the soldier, Zalera nodded. While Hope alternated between different abilities, Zalera switched her focus from the creature's feet to his face.

Lightning made her way to the Argodian beast, dashing between each of Hope's carefully calculated spells and dodging the monster's staggering footsteps. Judging by its current lack of balance, it was being overwhelmed. This was good.

Although the mountain dweller was massive in size, it's belly, like the others, was still very close to the ground. It wouldn't be too hard to slice into it. But that wasn't where the problem lied.

_How do I get out from beneath it..._

In the haze of dust and the stumbling movements of the beast, Hope had lost sight of Lightning, but he kept himself focused on his task. Another ear-piercing shriek rang throughout the cave as the large monster began to topple over into a wall. It wailed in agony, its legs struggling to stay standing.

_Lightning did it._ A grin spread across his expression until the monster began to make its descent towards the ground. A foreboding feeling lingered in the air.

Where was Lightning?

After slicing down from the beast's chest to its belly, her gunblade had managed to get thoroughly lodged into its tough skin. As the monster began to fall to its side, Lightning held on tightly to her weapon, her feet leaving the ground for a few heart attack inducing moments. With a swift tug, she ripped her blade from its stomach, gagging on the spray of black blood the action brought forth. This seemed to be the final straw as the massive being's legs gave out from beneath it. Lightning froze as she watched the creature begin its fall.

Time slowed and she couldn't hear anything but the heart beating in her chest. She could feel it in there, palpitating, fast and strong. Within her racing pulse she felt fear. Fear in battle was new to Lightning, especially when directed towards herself. She'd never cared about surviving the battle before. The fight had always been just that - a fight. She strove to win, but didn't care if she lost.

But right now, her heart was protesting her usual ways something fierce. It wanted to survive. It wanted to live.

Strong arms wound around her waist and hefted her up. She was barely able to register being tossed onto a shoulder before she was being carried away. Eyes wide, she watched the beast fall as if she were oddly detached from the scene. She felt as if she had split from her body and was watching it all happen, her sense of self merely floating and hanging in the balance, waiting for Etro's divine judgment.

And then she was being set down and the sounds of reality assaulted her. Rough, dirt-encrusted hands were cupping her face. She regarded the owner with a slow blink before actually focusing on his words.

"-standing there! Light, what were you thinking?!"

His arms wound around her, tight and comforting. His words were harsh and angry, but she could hear the serious panic that had seeped into his tone. "I'm sorry," she mumbled into his shoulder. She'd been completely caught off guard and the whole situation had shaken her, not just in its initial moments, but in hindsight as well.

His eyes narrowed in confusion at the meek apology that he truly hadn't expected to hear. He shook his head as he chuckled. "It's okay. We're okay... You're okay..."

Another screech sounded from the dying mother and Hope looked at it with pity. Its last resounding death throes sounded extremely painful.

Zalera, on the other hand, looked warily back at the creature at its last shriek. There was a lilt to it that she recognized all too well.

It was calling for help in its last moments.

A chorus of howls and cries came from the darkness behind the monster, a nest surely residing in its depths.

Zalera's exhausted body fell back into the wall. "No, not again..."

Hope turned and faced the large monster's dying body and the coming onslaught of more. They couldn't keep fighting. They couldn't. He had to stop them from getting any closer. His only option was to get to them before they could even emerge.

Kneeling on the ground, Hope put his palms down, his fingers digging into the dirt. He had to be quick. He gave the beast one last look and frowned knowing what he was about to do to its kin. "I'm sorry."

With extreme concentration, Hope drew forth a quake spell. He had to put every bit of his mind and every ounce of his soul into the attack. One distracted thought or small interruption and he could end up killing everyone, himself included.

Like an extension of his body, he felt the spell ripple throughout the dirt and stone of the mountain. He felt it course along the walls and the ground of the tunnel until he could feel the scurrying footsteps coming towards them. There were a lot; it was probably most of the remaining mountain creatures. _There are so many..._

And he was going to crush all of the critters before they could even make an entrance.

"I'm sorry." With one tremendous pulse into the cave's walls, the young l'Cie brought it down. The entire path in front of them caved in. He could feel the earth compacting around the monsters. He could feel their bones breaking, shattering. He could even feel the last beats of their hearts. "I'm so sorry."

Zalera and Lightning marveled at the scene before them. Their rapt and shocked attention fell from the now dead end to the very cause sitting before them.

Hope drew his fingers from the dirt, now feeling his energy waning. His muscles contracted with his utter disdain for his own actions. He was beyond tired of killing.

"Hey." Lightning's low voice drew him out of himself as it was her turn to do the comforting. Coming up beside him, she rubbed his back some, a little lost and more than humbled by his display of power.

Strong and assured hands tugged at his stiff shoulder blades until he complied, falling back into Lightning's embrace. The earlier warmth was no longer present as Hope only felt sorrow blossom from within. _Please forgive me..._ The silence of the darkening caves served to increase Hope's inner struggle. The home of the monsters they had just conquered was nothing but a tomb now.

"We should get going." Tightening her hold on the man before letting him go, Lightning stood. Her protective gaze lingered on the wall of dirt and rock. "If any of those things survived, they'll be burrowing through in no time."

Hope swallowed heavily as he stared ahead. He hung his head in a respectful mourning before rising himself. "Don't worry. They didn't." Masked green irises glanced into her shocked blue for mere moments. He turned himself away from the situation then and began lifting up the still unconscious Sazh. After a pleading look towards Zalera, the woman scrambled over to help lift up the other man's side onto her own shoulder.

Putting the other half of the man's weight onto herself, Zalera gave a light hiss. Her body was extremely sore. A good, long nap sounded incredibly tempting, but if she was this exhausted, she had to consider her teammates. Hope looked deathly pale from that last pull of magic, and Lightning hadn't looked so hot after her last brush either.

"You okay, Z?" came Hope's concerned words.

Looking past the head of the conked out pilot, Zalera gave him a slight grin. "All good. Thanks for earlier, by the way. Didn't really feel like getting splatted today. That shield worked wonders."

Hope gave a small chuckle and a nod of acknowledgement before they began to make their way through the main hallway. "You comin', Light?"

Lightning watched in a small stupor as Hope snapped to attention and began taking the initiative. The fragile man of moments ago was instantly repressed at his command. It was like looking into a mirror. "Yeah, I'm coming."

* * *

Hope watched Lightning lovingly, his gaze doting on her form. He laid beside her until her breaths finally evened out, telling of her slumber. The very visible serenity that had befallen the soldier during her sleep gave great comfort to Hope and he smiled as he brushed her dirty bangs from her face. A swift kiss was given to Lightning's forehead before the young man made his way to Zalera at the entrance of their small cave.

The group was still well inside the caverns of the mountains. They'd trekked for a good forty five minutes before finding an empty hollow to shrink into. Sazh had yet to awaken and his body had been weighing heavily on them. They all needed to recoup and figure out the next step anyway, so they'd made to rest for a while.

Hope stretched, groaning as his back popped. "I was about ready to cast a sleep spell on her."

Zalera gave him a lopsided smirk, her amusement illuminated by the fire within the room. "She would have been _pissed_."

His eyes strayed back to Lightning, her body laying beside the slumbering old man. It had taken plenty of time to get Lightning to even attempt to rest, the woman extremely wary. It didn't help that he'd run off the last time she'd left Hope awake. With Zalera promising first watch, Hope had even resorted to his old tactics of feigning sleep to get the soldier to lay down. Once she was sure he was resting, she was dozing right beside him. "Yeah, well, she needs the rest."

"So do you..."

Her comment held an accusatory tone, to which he paid no mind. Gaze now turning wistful, it swept over the dark hallways outside of their tiny cave. "Man, how are we going to find our way out of here?"

A shrug was Zalera's response as her own green eyes followed his path. Despite her half-hearted gesture, that question reverberated through her mind. _How_ are _we supposed to get out? I'm their guide. They trusted me to lead them to the crystals._ "We'll figure it out."

"We don't have enough Grav-tech to get back up through the burrows, even _if_ we could find a hole that would take us to the top, and we're too far down to tell." The gears in Hope's mind whirred and shifted, trying to figure out the logistics to get them out.

A pregnant silence settled between them, causing Hope's eyes to wander over to his older partner. He could see the frustration in her eyes, sense the anxiety surrounding her. "Hey, Z? You're okay, right?" Only receiving an inquisitive look in return, he explained further. "I know you took some pretty heavy hits back there."

The memory of the beast's teeth clicking in her face, its hot breath and saliva on her neck, and its nails clawing into her being caused her fingers to clutch onto her previously injured side in a reflex. "It was a pretty close call," she admitted quietly, visibly showing how much it had shaken her.

It had shaken him too. "I couldn't see you..." His tone was quiet, apologetic as his eyes traced all of the corners of their small room. "For the longest time I couldn't see you."

His eyes finally met hers and she was slightly startled to see how upset he was. Between this, the way Lightning had been opening up to her, and the way Sazh had treated her after the crash... _I really mean something to all of them..._

"I couldn't hear you and it-it scared me. I thought you were-"

"Dead?"

The lone word came out harshly in the cave and Hope tensed. He'd been so worked up in waiting for Lighting and in his fear over Sazh. By the time he'd been able to do something, to fight and search for his comrades, he'd lost track of his other partner. _I... lost myself there._

"I couldn't get out from under it and... for the briefest moment I thought I was going to die." Holding herself against the wall, Zalera let her earlier feelings assault her. "And for a tiny second, I was okay with that. Yeul's gone and... I probably won't see her for the rest of my life."

Hope's searching gaze jolted up to hers, but her stare remained in the darkness of the corridors. The woman hadn't spoken of Yeul around him for a while, though he knew the seeress' death still haunted her. He also knew that that was part of the reason she was still with them.

"I don't know how the cycles of her life are, but I know that there is a lapse in time between her death and rebirth. If... If I can see her. If I could see her and my mentor and my family... death might be okay..."

The broken and shaky words struck Hope deeply. He remembered well what that misery felt like. After his mother… and then his father... "You've never really spoken of your family. Your _true_ family."

"There's nothing really to tell."

"What changed your mind? What made you wanna fight?"

"Hope." Hope's eyes went wide and Zalera chuckled, savoring the small bit of humor in their otherwise dark and uncomfortable conversation. "Not you. Well, partially, I guess..." Her laughs died down as she sniffed. The silveret gave her an encouraging smile, urging her to continue. "Hope that I was finally doing something right. That by staying on this path, I could truly redeem my past mistakes. And also the knowledge that... if I did give up and go through Etro's gates, I wouldn't be able to face myself, let alone Yeul."

Hope nodded. "Well... Personally, I think you made the right decision. And I'm glad you're here."

Zalera gave him a small, watery smile before straightening up. "You should really sleep, Hope. I'm most certainly not going to be able to. And I know that your magic is eating at you something fierce. So you should-"

"Rest up?" Hope smirked as she glared at him for cutting her off. "Maybe..." He swallowed harshly as he glanced back at his companions. _How am I supposed to sleep..._

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" he asked, his brows pinching together in confusion.

The young woman simply stared at him, her long lingering gaze seemingly intruding into his soul. _I know how much you hate taking a life. No matter whose or what kind... I'm really sorry you had to do that._

And he understood. _Me too._ Retreating back to his original spot, Hope plopped down heavily beside Lightning, not hesitating in the slightest to wrap his arms around the woman and bury his nose into her hair.

* * *

When all was quiet again and all she could hear were the restful breaths and snores of her mates, Zalera stepped into the dark passageway. She sought out a solitude of some kind, a space that didn't lend to the claustrophobic atmosphere they inhabited. There was a memory working its way to the surface of her mind, a memory that may help her lead them out.

_Zalera had been staring at the back of the young girl's head for hours now. Her curiosity only seemed to grow with each passing minute. She had to ask. The fourteen year old Pulsian's eyes travelled up towards the stoic guardian at Yeul's side as they sat around the campfire. She knew he didn't like her asking Yeul too many unnecessary questions, but she had to know._

_She waited until the man left the fire, his form stalking into the shadows, presumably to do his rounds around their group. She went to walk forward when a small, tan hand wrapped around her wrist. Her gaze travelled down to its owner, the guardian to be. The one who was supposed to take Yeul's current guardian's place, should the need arise._

_The brunet's young gaze was warning as he gripped Zalera's arm tightly. "He don't like us talkin' to her, 'member? You're gonna bother her."_

_Zalera could never get her mind to wrap around how such a small child, one of the exact same age as Yeul herself, was supposed to become her protector. It was none of her business, however, and she gently extricated herself from his tiny grasp. "It's just one question."_

_The boy shook his head, but made no further move to stop her. His blue eyes only turned to the subject of their conversation, his entire demeanor changing to one of warmth._

_"Yeul?"_

_The delicate girl looked up from her log, her small hands smoothing her intricately woven skirt. "Hello, Zalera." Her calm and soft voice held such melancholy, though her lips formed into an inviting smile. She let her hand fall gracefully onto the log where her guardian previously sat. "You wanted to ask me something?" Her vibrant green eyes gave the newest addition to their tribe a knowing glance and she giggled softly at the teenager's apparent stun. "I could feel it."_

_Sitting down cautiously beside the blue haired child, Zalera merely nodded. The little girl was so odd. She was definitely not like any other six year old she knew. Of course, she supposed that a seeress with a soul that withstood time wouldn't be. "I've been trying to figure it out, but... Whenever we leave to a new place... everyone follows you... like you're the leader here and..." She drew in a breath, trying to find the right words and arrange them into a form that the girl would understand. "How do you know where to go? How do you know where to take all of us?"_

_Yeul's small smile never faltered and she took her hand into her own. "It's like how I knew you were sitting over there in the grass, waiting to talk. I just know. I can feel it."_

_The answer didn't sit right with Zalera. It was entirely too simple. They all just followed dutifully behind a small six year old and her gut feelings?_

_Another quiet giggle disturbed her thoughts. "He likes to call it my special sense." Her eyes travelled over to the almost imperceptible form in the darkness. "Along with my special sight, I have a special sense. Etro guides me as she does all of her children. I just feel it more than others."_

_The dark form of her guardian began to return and Zalera hastily stood. She didn't want to deal with his scolding today._

_"I asked him to leave so we could talk. You don't have to be scared."_

_The elder Pulsian scowled. "I'm not scared."_

_Yeul shook her head and carried on. "Sometimes it doesn't work though. I don't know why. So when I'm lost or misled... I just have to ask, and Etro will guide me."_

_Zalera gave the girl a smile and a bow of gratitude before walking away. She didn't know what to make of the conversation, but at least she had an answer of some sort. As she returned to her spot beside the pouting boy, a small whisper hung in the air behind her, though she wasn't sure if she was supposed to hear it._

_"... I think she'd guide you too..."_

"Please, I don't know where to go, what to do. I have to help them." Zalera's pleading voice carried through the hollows. If Yeul was right, then maybe Etro would help them. Help her. "I have to help them someway, somehow. I'm supposed to be leading them. I'm supposed to ensure their path and safety... But I don't know these caves." _Here I am again. Begging these heartless creatures for help. Yet it never comes._

With a huff, Zalera tried to stop her raging thoughts. Today wasn't yesterday. She had to stop dwelling within all of the yesterdays past. She had to try to really pray and hope, to rely on her faith, dwindling as it was. Instead of sinking into her cynicism, she would open her heart.

"Please, Etro, I need to see. Grant me this one favor. I ask as your servant..." Zalera bit her tongue at her words. "As your child. Show me the path I should follow. Please."

The young warrior fell to her knees, the cold, compact dirt catching her graceless decent. As all she received was silence in response to her cries, tears fell from her eyes as her heart shriveled closed once more. "God dammit! Am I not your child too?!"

_"... I think she'd guide you too..."_

Wrenching herself from the floor, Zalera stood and let out a bitter chuckle. _I'm sorry, Yeul. I guess you were wrong this time._

Before she could turn back to her team, a bright glow began to emanate from the ground beside her foot. Zalera stepped back from the spot, eyes narrowed while her hand lightly gripped her chakram. Dark green eyes widened as the light began to grow, just as a seedling, little by little. And just as a seedling, the silvery glow slowly grew a stem with leaves. Zalera's jaw fell slightly as a brilliant bloom came to be, slowly unfurling itself into the form of a daisy.

Her breath caught as she knelt beside the bloom. Her hand cautiously reached out to touch its soft, radiant petals, only for her fingers to pass right through it. Her hand sunk into air. Before the warrior could question this, another bright light appeared on the ground a ways away, followed by another and yet another. A long line of daisies began to spring up along the halls, their silvery luminescence creating just what Zalera had been asking for. A wide smile illuminated her pale features as new tears joined the old ones. These out of immense joy and an unexplainable euphoric high.

"A path..."


	25. Unbidden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do what you want, but when you get stabbed in the back by your people, at least you'll have your blind faith. Because I'm not going to be there to watch."

Sazh felt an almost overbearing peace nestled within his core as he began to finally awaken. He was acutely aware of the goings on around him. His arms, sore and tired, were draped across the slender shoulders of Lightning and the broader set of Hope's as they pulled his body forward. His legs dragged behind them, his heavy boots creating an echoing sound as they skidded along on the dirt and rock. He could smell the dank, dampness of the cave, its pungent odor of death still hovering below his nose, though there was a wavering scent of life and crisp air that threatened to overtake it.

Sazh didn't open his eyes, nor did he want to. It was selfish of him, he knew. He should want to let his comrades know that he was all right and take his weight off of their exhausted bodies. But all he could think about was the lingering tendrils of sleep that resided in the back of his mind, pulling and yanking him back into blissful unconsciousness. They promised the happiness that most nights brought - of dreams filled with his son's laughter and the bright smiles of his wife.

He could still see them from their last visit into his mind as he'd slept. It was as if nothing had changed from the way his life had once been. And for a short time, he could imagine that it was truth. Wilda sitting beside him in her yellow summer dress that accentuated her curves beautifully. The way her silky brown locks fell gently down around her shoulders. Her chuckles as their growing baby boy that was nestled in her lap tugged at her hair in his face. They were sitting in their home, happy and content. Sazh knew that this was what peace was like. That was the way he wanted to spend the rest of his days. With his small, yet completely perfect family.

Fate had chosen something different for them, of course. His wife had passed. His son had become cursed with a mark that bound him to his current crystal state. And Sazh was now a part of a tiny rebel group trying to save the world.

He never wanted to be a hero. Not even when he was a sprout with the world ahead of him. He had always wanted a simple life. Snow could keep his dreams of being superman to himself. Sazh just wanted the world back in place and his son back in his arms. If Hope, Lightning and the gang could be beside them, then he would have the closest thing to perfection since his days in his pale blue house on Sconson Drive.

With one last thought to his family, Sazh allowed his eyes to open as the group came to a stop. A breath of fresh air filled his lungs and he was nearly deliriously happy to see that they were now rid of the caves behind them.

Clouds of salmon and vermillion swam in the sky, the sun giving off its dying rays in the distance. The team had emerged near the very bottom of the mountain, right into what appeared to be a large, desolate kingdom. A castle hung overhead, massive, yet dwarfed by the towering mountains behind it. A village lay before it, buildings burned and broken, left hollow and lifeless.

Sazh coughed as the new air came to be too much for the elder man, startling those supporting him.

"Sazh!" Hope smiled at the man as they led him down to the ground, his eyes tinged with a great amount of concern. "How are you feeling?"

He cleared his throat and swallowed, trying to get the dryness of his vocal chords to lessen. "Like a new man," he replied with a sloppy grin. "I believe I have you to thank for that."

Hope shook his head, green irises only slightly watery. He gripped the man's shoulder tightly, his gaze moving to Lightning who was less visibly happy, but still very relieved. "We all had a hand in that." A punch to his right shoulder was earned for his comment.

"Take the appreciation you're due, Estheim," snapped Lightning in her clipped tone, though the corners of her lips hinted toward a smile. "We can rest here for a while if you need, Sazh."

"Nah, I think I've slept long enough. Besides it's time we get back on track, yeah?"

"Actually," interceded Zalera, "this will be a good place to stop. We're near Pulse's Castle, but not near enough to continue forward. We should rest here." Zalera's eyes swept before the village in front of them. It was odd, the connection she felt toward the place and the lost souls she could nearly sense lingering there.

Lightning grunted in reply, not happy with yet another stop, but she had to trust that the Pulsian knew what she was doing. She had gotten them out of the caves, after all. Lightning's brow furrowed as she considered just how Zalera had managed to find their way out of the seemingly never ending maze of tunnels and burrow holes. Their path out had hardly been easy, nor particularly logical at times. Though when asked, the woman had replied with an 'I just know' and left it at that. "Where are we?"

Hope took a stab at the answer. From his studies of the Cavalry's maps and the sparse history scrolls he could find about Pulse, it only took him a quick minute to formulate his guess. "One of the four kingdoms, right, Zalera? Judging by its architecture and location, either Arturia or Mythnea."

Taking in a breath of the new air, Zalera let it out slowly through her nose, allowing her restlessness to settle. "There were four grand kingdoms before the war. This was the second... that fell to the greed and malice of the first. The kingdom of Arturia."

The words stayed suspended, their weight stiffening Zalera's shoulders visibly enough for Lightning to notice. The roseate didn't know anything about Arturia or any kingdoms, she didn't care much for the geography of Pulse, nor had she been awake long enough for it to truly matter in her work yet, but she could recognize that there was some significance there. Zalera's expression held an intensity that Lightning had only seen in the woman's past recollections of her life before, and Hope's face held an expression of complete wonderment. "Is it safe?"

Hope turned to Lightning before his gaze followed hers to Zalera. He didn't think she'd make the suggestion if it wasn't safe. _It's a valid question, though._

"We shouldn't stay in any of the buildings or homes, but camping in the middle of the square should be fine."

* * *

Hope stared at his hand and watched it tremble in the campfire's light. If he thought that leaving the caves would put his mind at ease, he was wrong. He could still feel the scampering steps, the vibrations of their squeaks and screeches. And when he found his body at its most restful, he could feel a pulse resting there in the core of his palm. Like a freshly procured heart beating in his hand.

A heart he would come to squash.

Sazh watched the torment flicker in Hope's eyes from across the campfire. Something had happened back in the caves that Sazh wasn't privy to. Something had disturbed the boy enough to bring him close to the edges of his sanity again. He felt very responsible for it. "So, Zalera," Sazh began. He smiled as Hope jolted at the start of a conversation and dropped his hand back to his lap, full focus on the reality around him. "You said this used to be a 'grand kingdom'? What happened to it?" A little history lesson never hurt anyone.

Zalera visibly flinched at the inquiry, but didn't question it. "Some years after the Mythnea kingdom came under the reign of their first princess and the second prince of Arturia, it's said that they grew tired of being one of many. They claimed to be the one true kingdom and slayed anyone who opposed. They took over all of the kingdoms, this one first. And even that wasn't enough. They began to take towns and villages, killing any within." Zalera's disgust was surely evident on her face, for she made no attempt to hide her contempt. Greed and power had been what killed the prosperous kingdoms as they tended to consume and destroy everything in their path.

"Arturia's prince married another kingdom's princess and then took out his own home kingdom? Damn, no loyalty amongst royals."

Zalera shrugged a shoulder. "The marriages between kingdoms were supposed to keep peace. They mixed the blood to keep a balance of power between all of them. But even the best laid plans have their flaws."

Hope, highly intrigued by the tales of Pulse he'd never heard before, was eager to learn more. "What happened to them? The rulers of Mythnea and their people? Did they conquer all of Pulse? Or did they finally come across an opponent they couldn't match? Or-" A hand halted any of his further inquiries as Zalera chuckled.

"I don't know. Most of the written records of that time period were lost in the war. Any accurate information I have was from the elder of our tribe or from Yeul's Guardian when he would speak about his past, which was rare. Anything else are rumors."

"That's a pretty large chunk of Pulsian past to become nearly forgotten," spoke a disappointed Hope. "So it's mostly a lot of speculation and tales of legend, rather than actual facts."

Sazh gave a snort, shaking his head at Hope's words. "Isn't that most of history? Who's to say that all we know of Cocoon's past, or hell, even the origin of the whole planet, isn't just a bunch of 'speculation and tales of legend', as you put it?"

Hope only nodded, recognizing the pilot's point, and looked to Zalera to continue. Even the gods that had tied him so ruthlessly to his fate were only made of faith, validated by man's words and interpretations. Their proof of existence was still heavily marred by conjecture and theory.

"Some said that they eventually became gods, ruling over the lands they had once claimed. Others say that the gods smote them for their sins, but their unholy spirits were rejected by Etro. They haunt the lands, having become creatures of folklore and nightmares. As kids, we all would scare each other with the story. That they would come at night and steal all you had, including your very soul. They were our scary stories, our monsters under the bed…" A quiet, dark laugh fell from Zalera's lips as she recalled the moments of her childhood. "The most believed and popular theory is that their greed finished them off. They killed each other, each wishing to claim the power for themselves."

_Classic tale._ Lightning sat to the side, her blade on her lap as she checked over its functions. Her mind, as most of theirs, was still trapped within the past events in the cave. That feeling that had washed over her in her moment of vulnerability had not been acceptable. It had rendered her immobile. It had almost cost her her life, as well as that of Hope's. At that, her cerulean orbs caught sight of the teen. He was engrossed in Zalera's story, almost overtly so. She wondered if he was trying to distract himself as she was with her weapon.

They all spoke for another few hours until a quiet seeped in and stole away the conversation, allowing most of the group to become aware of their shared exhaustion. Hope sat and stared out into the darkness that had fallen around them, listening to the sharp crackles of the fire and allowing the warmth to seep into the cold numbness within him.

"I wonder how Academia's doing," Zalera spoke tentatively from her spot beside Sazh, opposite Lightning and Hope.

Sazh cocked his brow at the utterance and gave a pensive hum. "They got the shields up, right? So they were at least protected from any further attacks. The focus then would just be recovery and rebuilding… They'll be alright. I'm sure that by the time we get back, the Academy, Corps, and Cavalry will have stitched everything back together."

The conversation, as innocent as it was, stabbed deeply into old wounds. Hope grimaced and busied himself with grabbing another small log and applying it to the fire. Although, inner thoughts tumbled out that he couldn't help. "Realistically, I wonder if I'll be seeing Academia again at all. Or if I'm just doomed to remain a l'Cie weapon until I die."

"Dammit, don't say things like that," snapped Lightning, turning sharply to look at him with icy eyes.

"I hate myself for what I've done. For _everything_ I've done."

"Those creatures were going to kill us."

"So it's okay for me to kill them all?!" Hope gained a heated glare to match her icy stare. He'd killed all of them. She didn't, couldn't understand how that felt. "I just basically killed off an entire species. I just did what the fal'Cie is trying to do to us."

Lightning's mouth opened as if to retort, but she held herself back. She could see he was hurting and although it pained her to hear and see him bear his sorrows, she much preferred this to him hiding it all behind a hard mask of indifference. In no way did she wish him to be like her.

"I don't know what to do, Light. I want to fight. I want to protect people. I can't be a leader and stand for my people and not fight for them... But I can't..."

"Kill."

Hope winced and led his gaze back to the floor. He could feel everyone's stares on him and was very conscious of Zalera's and Sazh's silence, though he was kind of grateful for that. "I don't think I'll ever be okay with taking a life." When he'd been that young scared boy at Lightning's heels, he'd had no choice but to fight. It was their lives on the line. But the guilt afterwards had eaten him up all the same. He'd never grown to accept killing. It was one of the reasons he'd planned to become a researcher within the Academy after it had first been established. He could work to create ways of protecting people without having to risk lives. He wouldn't have to force others to kill for him. Even soldiers had to have hard times killing too, right? Why should they have to commit their souls to the horrors of taking lives?

"What do you do? How do you..."

A few fleeting emotions, sharp and nauseating, flashed to the surface before she swallowed them back down. Lightning knew the feeling Hope was referring to. After her first real battle with an enemy, she had battled with herself for hours, the term _murder_ being the only thing she could think about. Lightning had managed to come to terms with it eventually, but Hope didn't seem to be able to. "When I'm faced with an enemy... I don't just see him. I see the situation. I see his past and his future. What he's done. The chances he'll do it again. If he'll hurt me or others... Mostly I think… _Is this person worth saving_?"

Hope's brow furrowed. He didn't think there was anyone that was unworthy of being saved.

"Your judgement holds more weight than any gun or blade. Some people can handle killing better than others. And some people feel the weight more." She kept it all as uncomplicated as possible. It was all true, but she feared that it may have been too blunt for Hope's magnanimous nature.

"How many people have you killed?"

"Too many to count," Lightning replied as such a thing as a kill count had never interested her.

"One-hundred and twenty-three."

"What?"

"One-hundred and twenty-three. That's how many people that I _know_ I have killed. There are probably dozens more. Who knows how many that were my fault. Those that I didn't kill with my own hands, but that died because of me and my actions."

"Don't. It'll drive you insane." She couldn't help the anger that had seeped into her tone. What was he thinking keeping track of such a thing? _Don't. Stop. It'll only tear you up more._

"Isn't that the price of taking a life!" Hope asked with a shout. There had to be some sort of cost for such a deed. "Having to carry their dead souls on you for the rest of your own life?" Hope was shocked out of his fury momentarily as his collar was seized by the sergeant at his side. He watched as she raised her fist, but resisted in letting herself hit him.

She wanted to smack him, to punch him. How dare he let such darkness corrupt his pure soul. How dare he struggle so deeply with something like this. He'd never harmed anyone because he wanted to, but out of necessity, to protect himself and others. How dare he question any of his actions that had kept himself and others alive. The scum and monsters he'd killed didn't have the right to steal his happiness from him. How dare he think such things. And how dare she let him fall into such a rut. She couldn't watch him do this anymore.

Lightning jerked him back and out of her hold, taking a few steps away to cool down. _What am I supposed to say? With Hope's unyielding compassion for fucking everything, it's no surprise that he feels this way._

Hope stared down at his hands, idly playing with the frayed edges around a hole in his jacket. "I've lost too many people. I'm not a hero or a leader. I can't even call myself a soldier."

"A soldier protects all he or she can. There are going to be acc-"

"Don't you dare say acceptable losses," Hope bit out. He hated those words. Of course, it was how a soldier was trained to see battle. The lives lost were seen as a necessary cost for safety and peace. "I know you're a soldier, but you're also a person, Light. You're human. You can't be okay with all of this death and destruction. A soldier may be okay with _acceptable losses_ , but a person isn't. Where does the soldier end and you begin?"

Lightning turned slowly to face him with a long, level look. When had this become about her? Since when had this become a debate about her dwindling humanity?

"You are more than a soldier and you know it. What about Serah? A soldier, an honorable and obedient soldier, wouldn't have left her post, forgotten her duty, to save her sister."

Her voice came back quiet, but harsh. "But I didn't with you. The perfect soldier let you be tortured for the good of a team of men."

Hope let that statement set in. This bitter resentment Lightning held towards herself over this issue was growing into a stagnant problem for them.

"Reveling in your mistakes, in the actions that you could've taken instead of what you have taken, won't do you any good, Hope. It only makes you question yourself in the future. Doubt creates hesitation. And hesitation only leads to an early grave."

He could only disagree. "I don't think so. It reminds me of what I fight for. The people I've killed... the people I couldn't save... I won't let their deaths mean nothing." He could only continue forward. Yes, he had to let the deaths within his past rest within him, but he could channel all of his sorrow and anger and regret into something more. Something better. "I'm going to get the crystals. I'm going to free those in stasis. I'm going to defeat anyone who tries to get in my way. I'm going to live for those who can't anymore."

It all had to mean something. If he could at least make their deaths – all of their deaths – mean something, then he could not only avenge them, but find some sort of inner peace with himself. They weren't _mistakes_ or _acceptable losses_ to just acknowledge and disregard. You don't throw away a bad grade and act like it never happened. You learn from it. And you do better next time. Or, better yet, you fix it and make it right.

"I want to be able to face myself in the mirror every day. I want to create a world where everyone can live and not cower in the face of some ominous fate or horrid destiny. Every time I fight, every time I take a life, I see one more person being freed from their crystal delusions. One more person living their life in Academia and not hiding out in a bunker while the city is destroyed."

Hope took a breath, finding himself – his own words – assuaging his own dilemmas. He then delved deep into Lightning's stern gaze, praying that he would find something there. Something that wasn't a product of training and pain and anger and fear. "I fight for my future and the future of others. I see the future when I fight. What do you see?"

_Visions of a grand life…_ It was almost laughable. Her future didn't have a white picket fence, a nice life nestled in peace. No matter how deluded she allowed herself to become in Hope's arms, she had become a soldier for a reason. _…are a distraction…_ When she completed that thought there was a sudden hollowness that built in her gut. It was like she was missing something by not believing how Hope did. Like the future meant nothing. She could only live in the present. The past and the future held nothing for her. She couldn't fight and worry about how each step she took would affect that future she desired. Having that cloud over her head would only lead to more instances of freezing up in battle. "I see the battle, and then I see the next one."

Her answer stung, though he sort of expected it to. "Lightning-"

"I mean, what are we trying to do? Who are we trying to save? A bunch of people who hate us? People who would rather see us dead or kill us themselves?" Lightning stood with her arms out, exasperation etched into her features. How many times was she going to have to watch his selflessness get him hurt? Until she was standing in front of his grave? She was sick of cemeteries.

"Those soldiers attacking you really affected you, huh?"

She let her arms drop to her sides. It wasn't just about them. It was about all of the evil bastards in the world that Hope was willing to take a bullet for. "Maybe they should all just rot."

"No." Hope refused to give up. He couldn't see how Lightning could suggest it either. "Don't you get it? Don't you understand?"

"Understand what?"

"They're from Cocoon."

"So are we," she retorted, unmoved by the explanation.

"Exactly. And what were we taught? What did we grow up hearing? We've always known Pulse to be hell - that Pulsians and l'Cie were the enemy. I can't blame people for what they've learned as truth. They believe what they've always been told. And we aren't going to prove them right. We'll show them that they're wrong. As a Pulsian, as a l'Cie, as previous Cocoon people. We'll show them that we are all the same and have one goal. We will protect the people of Cocoon and the people of Pulse alike. I don't care what it takes. We all have to share this planet, why can't we coexist together?"

"Alright, okay," interrupted Sazh. "We're getting a little ahead of ourselves now. World peace is great and all, but I think we gotta handle Castea first."

"Right, but we aren't turning our backs on the people I swore to protect."

"I can't stand the thought of those ignorant ass holes hurting you," Lightning murmured.

Hope watched as Lightning tensed and a strong amount of hurt swam in her eyes. "Light..."

With a growl, Lightning snapped back. "No, you know what they said?! 'Who gives a shit about a little punk like Estheim? We should have killed him the first time around when he was a scrawny pipsqueak. Maybe then there would still be a Cocoon.' I'm sorry, Hope, but I will not just blindly protect people."

"You're a soldier. Isn't that what you're supposed to do?"

"My orders are to protect you. Not the scum that are still clinging to fal'Cie chains."

The young director shook his head as he felt yet another wall come up. "I will not give up my faith, especially not in the face of conflict."

"Good, it's great to see you get your resolve back." Zalera stood and put her hand on his shoulder, giving him the support and morale he obviously needed. She had watched and let the two argue and bicker. They'd gotten their frustrations out. For better or for worse? Time would tell. "And you're right. We won't let their deaths be for nothing."

Hope's eyes remained locked with Lightning's. When she failed to back down or say anything at all, he found that he was going to let her stubbornness win out this time. "Lightning-"

"Do what you want, but when you get stabbed in the back by _your people_ , at least you'll have your blind faith. Because I'm not going to be there to watch."

Hope bit his tongue and swallowed all of his apologies and regret-filled words. How could he apologize after such a statement? No, this wasn't about pride. It was about his personal ideals and boundaries. It was about her lack of respect for them and him in general. It was about her callous disregard for his truest thoughts actually hurting him. He had thought that at some level, she would agree with him.

They stared at each other for a few intense minutes. There was a silent battle here, one with words neither could say. Not yet.

The time went by. The agonizing silence that slipped in and swiped away any resolve either might have had. And then, Hope walked away, the tension in his shoulders a clear indication of his lingering frustration.

Zalera then followed, a scowl deeply set into her expression. She kept her gaze from meeting Lightning as she briskly sped to Hope's side until they were both lost amongst the buildings of the kingdom.

When neither could be seen, Lightning sat back down with an amused, but mostly irritated huff. "Of course she takes his side."

"No one's takin' sides. She just agrees with his point a little more than yours, is all." Sazh gave her unimpressed look a smirk as he idly prodded the fire with a stick.

"Trying to placate me, old man?" She busied herself with weapon maintenance again, needing something easy to do. Something she could do on auto, in her sleep, while she ignored her brain's inner rants.

Sazh let out a slow chuckle, his gaze stuck on the spot Zalera and Hope had disappeared into. "I got a brief recap of recent events from Zalera. I get your point. He did what he had to do. Now he's just dealin' with it. Although, I think you should give some thought to the things he said."

"I never wanted this for him…" Her eyes lifted to meet Sazh who only looked at her skeptically. "Okay, maybe when we first met. I wanted him to stop being such a whiny wuss."

A few mirth filled laughs erupted from the man as he nodded. He remembered exactly how Hope had been - young, innocent, and scared, as expected of a fourteen year old. And Lightning had been rude, impatient, and abrasive. Not the best mix.

"But not after I began to know him. Not after I gained a little insight. There should be no reason for him to get his hands dirty. That's for soldiers like me."

"And even there you disagree… Hope… He still has to figure out what kind of man he wants to be. He'll get there. And you'll be right beside him through it all. Right? You're not goin' to run from a little trouble, are you?"

"He can't seriously be this dense. This naïve." There was an old jealousy there. One she'd never admit to and one that could only be seen in the set of her shoulders and the bitter frown just touching the corners of her mouth. He was still so innocent, seeing the world in such a hopelessly optimistic way. Her mentality was you kill what you have to, to protect the people you care for, as well as for what's right. His mentality was that no one had to die. It was dangerously naïve to harbor such thoughts as 'everyone can be saved'. Simple and stupid, it was, especially for someone of his intelligence, but she envied him for retaining such a childish notion even after all he had seen - after everything he had been through. It was both a relief and a horror, but it was very Hope.

Pinching the bridge of her nose, she collected her thoughts that were becoming too jumbled for her liking. Their current state was a mess because of the emotions mixing in without warrant and destroying her sanity. She never liked to talk about these things, with friends that were practically family or not. "I know he was once received as this brilliant and adored director, but if those ungrateful people can just turn their backs on him the minute he's branded, then they don't deserve a shred of his compassion."

"It wasn't always like that, y'know? He was hated in the beginning." The soldier's eyes flickered up to meet his, confusion written in her aqua orbs. The woman had missed a lot of Hope's life, so it made sense that she didn't fully understand his turmoil. Hope wasn't as blind to the cruelty in the world as she thought. "I know I wasn't around for too much of his beginning after the fall, but I know what his father told me, as well as Rygdea and Hope himself. He was ridiculed by his classmates and hunted by furious and well-trained people. People we all gave our lives for before the fall."

Hope had worked hard to earn Academia's trust and admiration before he'd been granted his position as Director. All for nothing, it seemed, as they had all regained their pitchforks the second his brand had reappeared and a new war began. "He knows what they're capable of, but he chooses to protect them anyway. That's what the good guys do. They fight to save who they can, even if it's they're mortal enemy."

Lightning clicked her tongue as disgust tinged her features. "And that's how the good guys get killed."

"Well, then it's a good thing that this good guy has an extraordinary woman to watch his back." Sazh let the conversation fall off there as he laid back on the log he had been perched on and looked up at the stars. Real stars. Not manufactured ones controlled by a fal'Cie. There were definitely some small bonuses to life on Pulse. Life on a real, genuinely natural world, seemingly ungoverned by any overbearing beings, being one of them. The stars above made their world seem so small, their problems insignificant.

She let her gunblade fall to the side, its ungraceful meeting with the ground loud in her ears. _I'm not the extraordinary one here..._ Staring at her weapon, she found that she didn't quite miss its presence from its place glued to her side as much as she usually did. It could lay there on the ground covered in dirt and rust forever for all she cared. A hollow, raw feeling developed inside of her and she didn't automatically want to barricade it away or tear it out. She just sat there, joining Sazh in staring at the stars.

* * *

Hope ignored Zalera as she came to his side, too focused on stewing in his anger. She stayed quiet, lingering near him, yet giving him just enough space so that he didn't feel crowded. Staring at him, she could see how upset he was. His emotions were plain on his face. Deeply wounded was probably the best way to describe what she could see on him.

The glowing moon cast its light down on the town and Zalera could appreciate the kingdom's beauty, even in its broken and desolate glory. There had once been life here. People had once called this place their home. Before hatred and greed had shredded it apart, this had all once been a town that had thrived and prospered. Much like her own home…

Hope swallowed down his emotions. He hated fighting with Lightning, but it had been unavoidable. It had all been the truth. He had people to fight for. He wasn't going to give up. Not on anyone. Not for anything. There was good in these people, and he was going to protect that. If Lightning had a problem with it… _then maybe we have a lot more to work through then I thought._

Zalera's silence at his side drew him to looking at her. She wasn't paying him much mind, just silently offering him some comfort through her proximity. Although, as he looked at her, he could see that there was something stirring inside of her. She had been acting oddly for a while now. Originally, he thought it had just been the caves, but as he looked at her fearful expression, eyes wary, he could tell that something was very off. "Is there something you're not telling me? Is it not safe here?" Returning from her thoughts, she looked visibly startled and now had Hope's full attention. "Because you've been…"

Zalera furrowed her brow, a little annoyed at being caught off guard. She thought that he would have been preoccupied with his and Lightning's little tiff, not with analyzing her body language.

"What? Thought I wouldn't notice," he continued with a subdued smile.

"I thought you were busy focusing on much more pressing matters than my sense of unease," she replied with a small smile of her own.

"Seriously, though, what's up?"

Zalera's gaze slid to the side, her hand coming up to shakily graze the rough stone of one of the buildings that still stood, as though needing something to ground her. "Did I ever tell you how I came to join Yeul's tribe?" At Hope's silence and curious gaze, she continued. "As my name suggests, I wasn't born into it. I was born Zalera of the Lin clan of Hondura. My town was small and old, but it was my home-" She broke off in a choke. Old memories were something she often dwelled upon, but it was different speaking of them. "And in one night, it was gone. Burned to ashes, while my family... everyone was slaughtered. I just watched, too weak to stop it."

Hope's eyes widened as he took it in. "So this kingdom..."

"It affects me. I was born in a tiny, lonesome village near Skatsboro, nothing near the size and greatness of this kingdom. Yet, on its haunted grounds, I feel as if I could be standing in my fallen home. I can see what happened to these people. I can feel what they all felt." The cries and shrieks sprang up in her memory, accompanied by the smell of smoke that burned her nostrils and churned her stomach. She could still feel the fear that had gripped her as her bare feet slapped against the ground. She ran and ran, but she could never get far enough away.

Hope reached out a hand, wanting to help, wishing to ease the pain for his friend, but he stopped short and let his hand fall back to his side. Zalera was trembling now, but her face was turned away from him, hidden away by her long, beaded hair. He gave her a few quiet moments until her form stilled and she regained her composure.

"Mother always said I was the treasure of our town, born not only with green eyes, but green hair as well. Green was the patriotic color of our town. The dragon of Hondura - our ancient guardian – had been spoken of as having scales of a vibrant green…" Sniffing, Zalera glanced back at Hope with a somber smile. "When it was all gone, I decided to represent Hondura and its people with all I could. I wear it with pride."

"I'm-"

She didn't want to hear any apologies or sympathies, well intended as they might have been. "I know what it's like to survive from this," she spoke softly, gesturing to the village surrounding them. "And now you know, too. Except… Academia is resilient. Your people have survived and Academia will once again flourish."

The silveret hummed in agreement. "Provided we succeed." Hope watched the town silently beside Zalera, now feeling a sort of kinship with its people. He could understand Zalera's sentiment. He had been through what these people had experienced, but there was a striking difference between Academia and Arturia. There hadn't been any survivors to rebuild Arturia back to its former glory. Hope wasn't going to allow Academia to fall into its same fate. "Do you know who took Hondura?"

"A small tribe under the orders of a much larger one," she replied, her tone cold, yet coated in resignation.

"What happened to them?"

Zalera stepped away from the wall, her eyes meeting Hope's fleetingly before she chose to look up at the sky. "Yeul's Guardian killed them all."

* * *

Lightning stood, rigidly watching the world around her. She hadn't spoken to Hope since their fight. She wanted to, but there wasn't anything to say. Hope wanted to save the world. She didn't think the world deserved it. The end.

It wasn't entirely true. She didn't want the world to end or _everyone_ to die, per say. She just wished quite a few of her species could meet their demise a little sooner than expected. But she would rather watch all of those men that had betrayed Hope become kings then let Castea and that Belphagor fal'Cie have their way. She wanted them to burn. And they would, she'd see to that.

Lightning's hand went to her chest, her nail's digging into the fabric of her sweater vest until the pressure nearly hurt. Her own brand had not been absent from her thoughts during all of this. She would love to kill the witch with the same powers Castea so obviously prided herself on. That would be a kill Lightning could take pleasure in. Hope's stern look of disapproval flashed across her mind and Lightning groaned.

Turning to look at the sleeping young man, Lightning couldn't help but give a huff in annoyance. "Honestly, Hope, can't you keep your morals to yourself. Especially within my own mind." Chuckling, she shook her head. "And now you have me talking to myself like a loon."

Inwardly, she admired Hope's determination, his 'give all, do all' nature towards everything. She always had. But on this issue, she had to disagree. _I mean, how deep does his reservation towards killing lie? Could he kill Castea when the chance comes?_ Lightning could only shudder at the thought, because, deep down, she couldn't see him pulling the trigger. Yes, he'd killed people before. She'd trained him to do so. He'd killed people that had done far less than Castea. But with his deep seeded hatred for killing resurfacing, and after the incident in the mountain, she could see Hope choking when being faced with the opportunity.

And the result would be horrifying.

The ruins of the once supposedly grand kingdom sat before her, leading Lightning's mind only deeper into chaos. _Is this how Academia would look? If Hope brought back the Maker… Academia would become the same. A crumbled ghost town. As well as the rest of the world. Or… would it all just vanish?_

Never being one much for religion, Lightning had never cared to lend a thought towards the gods. Not until their branding, of course. And even then, she'd merely thought them to be useless and overrated. She and her friends had been used as tools to bring the almighty Bhunivelze back and none of the gods had done anything to stop the fal'Cie. _Almighty, my ass._

And it was all happening again. This time to Hope alone. Despite her words, she wasn't going to watch from the sidelines, no matter how idiotic Hope was being. She wasn't going to have Hope fight alone. And she most certainly wasn't going to let Castea win.

Even if she had to pull the trigger herself.

* * *

"Your fascination with her is quite intriguing, Sebastian." Castea cast her gaze upwards toward the l'Cie at her side. She had been giving the man his freedom in messing with the Farron girl, but she couldn't say that she wasn't interested as to why he fancied her so much. Maybe it was her likeness to his late wife…

Sebastian gave a faint smile. "I find her about as amusing as you do the Estheim boy," he responded, his tone formal, yet tinged with the familiar affection he couldn't hide. "She is merely a toy, as you would put it. Fascinating and entertaining, but ultimately meaningless. And as you well know, this heart beats for only you, my lady." A bow was given as he put his hand over his heart to accentuate his point.

_Ever the loyal dog._ With a nod, she let herself stare back out across the landscape, a sigh of boredom slipping through her lips. "They are nearing Pulse's Castle. I want you ready and waiting. I'll let you have your fun as I get what's rightfully mine. I'll even keep the others entertained for you." A wistful eagerness lit up her eyes as she smirked at her right-hand man. "As soon as that piece of the crystal is in his hands, it shall be time to play."

* * *

Whereas Etro's Shrine was tall and slender, willowy much like a lone tower, Pulse's Castle was very large and wide. Its height was nearly half of Etro's, but it made up for this shortcoming with its breadth. It was giant and perfectly crafted, at least to Hope's perception, though there was one thing that he couldn't help but find agitating about the castle.

It didn't have an entrance.

There were no doors, no windows, no possible airways for ventilation, nothing. It held firm to its title of impenetrable.

"Maybe it's just for looks. Made to be worshiped in Pulse's place." Sazh turned his head to the side, hand coming to his chin as he rubbed his beard in thought. "Maybe they worshipped in the courtyard?"

"Not a very appealing thought, Sazh. I don't see a piece of crystal anywhere, do you? There's gotta be a way in." Zalera stood before the castle and eyed it, trying to pull up an idea, a memory, anything. She had passed this structure many times throughout the years with Yeul's tribe. Something about it had to have come up in conversation. All she could remember was that it had been sealed back during the War of Transgression. All doors and windows had been taken out and replaced by solid stone in hopes of keeping out anyone who would want to harm it.

Lightning came back around, having circled the perimeter twice, not finding a single clue. "I don't get it. Why make a building no one can enter?"

"It was sealed to protect it," spoke Zalera, her eyes scanning over its walls. _There has to be a trick. They couldn't have wanted to secure it forever._

"From who?" Zalera ignored the question as if it held an obvious answer. And, really, it did. "From us."

Zalera sighed at Lightning's words. The animosity between the people of Cocoon and Pulse had been at its highest during the war. The Pulsians had wanted no chance of others getting into their sacred ground of worship. They would rather see it destroyed. Those that had worshiped Lindzei had felt the same. From what Zalera had heard, their methods had been even more drastic.

Hope stood before a large, rough stone set in the middle of the courtyard. His eyes swept over it, taking in the intricate designs and patterns that wound around a weeping face. A sizable tear, also intricately etched with a swirling pattern, fell just inches from the face's right eye. There were two holes within the stone, the rims around them left jagged, as if pieces had been harshly scraped out. A sentence was written at the top of the statue in what had to be a very ancient Pulsian language.

_It has to be significant. It wouldn't exist if it wasn't significant._ There was nothing else within miles of the castle. No other buildings or towns. No other stones or rocks. There weren't even any trees or bushes or brush at all. Just a lonely castle and its little statue.

"Why don't we just blow a hole in it? That'll get the job done."

Hope gave Sazh a glare, but it wasn't he who came to the castle's defense.

Zalera smacked the old pilot on the back of his head. "You want to just smash our way into a sacred castle? Yeah, that's a brilliant plan."

"Besides," added Lightning, "If the crystal is really in there, then there's probably some way of getting to it. And something guarding it, for sure."

"Could'a done without ya hittin' me. Whatever happened to-"

"Respecting your elders. Blah, blah, blah. Sorry. I seem to forget someone's age when they say something moronic."

"And you thought you could smack some sense into me?" Zalera gave a shrug. Sazh sighed. "You really think someone could be guarding it? How could a person survive in there?"

Lightning's return was automatic. "Who said they had to be human?"

"Zalera, can you read this?" Hope called, his eyes glued to the symbols in the stone. He had studied a lot of Pulsian language, but all he could make out of this was a very basic water symbol and some scrawls that suggested some sort of 'light of despair'. _If I even read that right…_

The Pulsian joined his side, her brow scrunching up in concentration as she read. "I… don't know if I can read this. I-It's in what looks to be _Hatvian_? Only Pulsian elders use this language."

Hope's shoulders slumped, but the news did nothing to his determination. He knew that there had to be some kind of connection. They had to figure it out. "You can try, right? Here." Hope brushed his fingers under a circle that had two tails. "This is a symbol for water, right?"

A moment's pause was given before she shook her head. "This symbol next to it – with the slash – makes it mean 'tears', I think." Zalera took a step back, reexamining the words. Hope's eyes lit up as he could see her mind working. "And this cluster of symbols here has to mean cry, or-or weep. No, wept, it means wept. The tears past wept shall… find…? I don't know."

"No! You're getting there. C'mon." Hope brought Zalera's concentration back to the scripture. "I know in some cultures of Pulse, this means light. 'Light of despair', maybe?"

Zalera narrowed her eyes at the few marks that Hope was pointing to. In her culture, in their era, it meant light, but in previous eras… _Dammit, I didn't learn languages. I was trained to fight instead._ Stretching her mind, Zalera could recall some of Yeul's Guardian's words. He spoke in a few different tongues and, at one time, it had been extremely fascinating to her. It had taken her a while, a long while, but she had managed to get him to teach her some of it… "Path! Now it means light, but before it meant path. And that doesn't mean despair. It means sadness. Or… sorrow? But with the _Ith_ here it's plural. It means sorrows!" Zalera exclaimed in triumph.

"Keep going," Hope urged.

While she and Hope worked, Sazh continued to examine the building before them and Lightning took to staring at the rough statue as well, only her eyes were drawn to the missing pieces as she knelt before it. _They were definitely taken out deliberately._ Both of the holes were about the same size and appeared to be following a path down from the face's eyes. _Like the tear. In fact, they're the same size as the tear…_

"'The sorrows once wept shall lead the way'!" Hope smiled brilliantly at Zalera, giving her a high five in glee. "Yes, now, what does it _mean_?"

"If ya even got the translation right, you mean?" Sazh came up to their sides, idly tossing a small rock in the air.

Zalera turned towards him, glowering at the man. "You wanna give it a go?"

"Nope, not even gonna attempt."

Lightning stood abruptly, drawing everyone's attention. "This is what it means," she cut in, pointing at the holes. "They're tears. The missing parts are tears."

"Of course," spoke Hope. "'The sorrows once wept'… they're tears. So… if we find them, it'll give us a path."

_I could really use some more glowing daisies right about now._ "How exactly would that work? And where in the- _fuck!_ " Zalera clutched onto her foot as she stared at the sharp rock that had landed on it. "Sazh, watch where you're tossing things." Zalera grabbed the rock and half-heartedly tossed it at Sazh.

"Hey!" The man ducked, narrowly escaping a blow to the forehead. "It slipped. No need to get all homicidal!"

"Oh, you don't want to see me get homicidal."

Lightning ignored their banter and wandered over to where the rock had landed. There had been something odd on that rock. "Thought so," commented the roseate as she picked up the rock that wasn't just any ordinary rock. It was a piece of stone. A piece of very familiar stone.

"What is it?" Hope watched as Lightning brought it over. Shock registered on his face as he got a closer look. "How did you notice that?" It had designs etched into the smooth face of the stone. Designs that perfectly matched the tear on the statue. "It's a tear!"

"I noticed it while Zalera had it in her hand."

Sazh gaped. "You could see that from over there? For that brief amount of time?"

"Trained eyes." Lightning smirked at his expression. "Where did you find this at?" The soldier pushed it into the hole, flinching when a loud sound echoed after the tear's placement was sealed.

"What was that?" Sazh looked around the area, only a plain field and a castle in sight.

"It sounded like a click. Did we just unlock something?" Hope's eyes went back to the stone. _I guess it worked._

Determined, Lightning made her way back towards the castle. "Spread out. We need to find the last one."

"Hold it." Hope scooped the tear back out, cringing as another sound echoed. He held it in his hand, studying its formation, feeling its curves and edges with his fingers. "There's no way to know if that other tear is even here. Sazh finding this could have been a stroke of luck. And if it is here, it could take hours to find. Hours we don't have." Hope opened his other hand beside it and concentrated his energy into his palm. _Please work._ Hope's confidence in his magic had diminished since his last performance. On one hand, he had easily been able to draw up the abilities necessary in their battle. On the other, there was a deep want to toss away all of his responsibilities and never use his brand again. He supposed that that desire had always been present. His resentment towards his brand had just grown even more as a result of recent events.

_Stop it, you're fine. Just concentrate. We have to get in. You can't keep agonizing over this._ Slowly, he brought up a blizzard spell. It was small and very concentrated, but that was the point. Drawing out the spell, he began to manipulate the ice within his hand, hoping to morph it into shape.

Lightning watched, amazed and astonished, as the ice swirled and spun, dancing in his palm. Hope worked the ice until it was almost an identical form of the tear. He clicked the stone tear into place before pushing the ice one in the spot beside it. Two more clicks thundered around them.

"I can't believe that actually worked."

Sazh stared dumbfounded at the statue, agreeing fully with Hope's comment. Before he could form a response, however, the ground started to shake and shiver. The ground beneath the statue began moving back, causing everyone to scramble away from it. It shifted and rolled back a good fifty feet before it stopped, leaving a dark chasm open in the ground.

"Oh, yay, look. Another underground tunnel," Zalera drawled with a less than joyful edge to her tone.

Sazh just continued to stare, marveling at the sight, though he could relate to Zalera's feelings towards another coming escapade beneath ground. He had just gotten a small feeling of security back. Now he could almost imagine beady red eyes glaring at him from within the dark passageway. Sazh swallowed. "How'd you know that would work?"

The teen pushed himself up from where he'd gracelessly fallen back and stared out at the new path. "I didn't." Taking a step, Hope began to walk forward when he was stopped by an abrupt arm at his chest.

"What are you doing?"

Hope gave Lightning a slow blink as if the answer should have been apparent. "Investigating. I imagine we aren't going to just gawk at it forever."

"I'm okay with gawking. Gawking's good," Sazh piped in.

Lightning ignored him. "You can't just dive right in. I think we all learned our lesson last time."

"I wasn't going to," spoke Hope through contained frustration. "I-"

"We aren't sure where this leads," Zalera added, hoping to knock out the tension before it could grow any stronger. "I mean, sure, the assumption would be that this leads us into Pulse's Castle or at least to the crystal, but it's not certain. It could be a trap, for all we know. The crystal's bound to have some safeguards."

Hope drew in a deep breath. He knew all of this. He knew he had to be cautious. "I get all that. I do. But what other choice do we have? It's our only clue as to where to go." Did they just go through all of that to come at a standstill over a hole?

Lightning gave the new opening a glance. Hope had a point, but so did Zalera. "I'll lead."

Hope scoffed, but stepped aside and gave her a mock bow, gesturing her forward. "Whatever you say."

The restrained hostility was clear, the bitterness obvious, but she simply clenched her jaw and walked forward. Hers and Hope's interaction was bound to be heavy with unpleasantness, but she would prefer that any day over his death due to a lack of caution. Besides, if the feeling in her gut was any indication, her silent battle with Hope was going to be the least of their worries.


	26. Devotion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes! Now we're finally all caught up with where this fic is at on FFN. Thank you so much to everyone who comments, kudos, and bookmarks. You make this story worthwhile. 
> 
> Hope you all like and comment :)

Lightning strode forward, the bright sunlight quickly being replaced by the smothering darkness of the tunnel. She kept her fist tightly enclosed around her blade as Hope, Zalera, and Sazh followed behind. A striking determination settled into her muscles as she began leading this time. This time, it was her that had to keep her teammates going safely in the right direction, not Zalera. "Hope, some light."

"Is there a please in there somewhere?"

She turned to fix him with a glare, unsure if he could make her expression out or not. She supposed he didn't have to see it to know by now. " _Please_ ," she grit out, rolling her eyes.

Hope complied, bringing up a fire spell in his palm. His gaze fell briefly upon the soldier's back before his eyes turned to skim the walls, appreciating how well excavated the passageway was. There was a drastic difference between the tunnel here and the ones in the Argodian Mountains. This had definitely been made by people, rather than ravenous creatures.

"How far do ya suppose this goes," asked Sazh in a whisper. He knew he didn't really have to speak so low, but he wasn't about to chance it, not after what they found in the last underground area they'd had to traverse through.

"Considering that the stone was pretty close to the castle," spoke Hope, "I'd say not far."

"But who knows if that's really where this leads," Zalera quickly added.

Sazh faced her with a grimace. "Why thank you for the reality check." He could have kicked her for her wink back.

Their steps were quick, but still paced and cautious. A cold dampness permeated the air and Lightning cringed at the familiarity of it. The silent halls echoed every step, every breath, even the steady flow of energy in Hope's palm seemed to emit a distinct sound that only served to put the soldier on edge.

"Hold up!" Lightning stopped, inspecting something they came upon. The short way they had come had been barren, nothing but cave walls. This was new.

Hope's brow rose at the sight. An archway had been added, the walls built to surround it, as if welcoming guests forward. White and smoothed into a polished finish, its shine had only dulled with time. The same swirled etching that decorated the stone outside had been carved into the arch. It was well done, but peculiar in its placement. Why wouldn't it be at the beginning of the tunnel? Or the end? Why about a quarter mile in?

Sazh felt the archway with the tips of his fingers, marveling at the feeling. "It's smooth, but it has a bit of a rough edge, wouldn't you say?"

Zalera gave it a glance, easily recognizing it for what it was. "It's bone." She nearly laughed as Sazh snapped his hand away in disgust. "It's amazing how well some craftsmen can work with the remains of the dead."

Eyes lighting up with a sort of twisted fascination, Hope took to examining it further. "Is it… Is it human?"

"Most likely. I know that when this place was still open to worship, many devout followers of Pulse would take their lives before his statue. Their bones were then set into the grounds so they could protect Pulse and his castle in the afterlife."

Hope felt a sharp tug from within. He knew there were people that were willing to do anything for their faith, but to take their own lives in the hope of serving their god in the spirit world? He wasn't quite sure what to think of that. It seemed sad, that people would give up the rest of their lives for something that was so uncertain, for something they had never truly known. But it also sounded kind of amazing, to be so sure in what you believe, to feel so connected to a higher power and want to protect it. Idly, Hope wondered if it worked. And if it did, where were those followers now?

They continued forward and came upon another, and another, and yet another of the odd archways. Lightning couldn't help but waver in her stead. There was that strong feeling of dread developing in her gut again and she couldn't help but feel sick. There was something there, something ahead of them that would make her wish she had turned back. But she kept forward, the knowledge that they had no other choice resounding in her mind over and over.

On the other hand, Hope was beginning to feel strange. He didn't understand the feeling of urgency that enticed him forward. It was like something was pulling, compelling him deeper inside. There was a strong spark that resonated with the magic inside of him and it made Hope grow stir crazy. He knew it was the crystal. It had to be.

The group travelled a long while before they finally came upon a room. The tunnel opened up to it, a chamber so large that it rendered the meager flame in Hope's palm nearly ineffective. The musty air carried with it only silence, but there was something unsettling about the space. It was as if a presence loomed over it, bringing with it nothing but ill intentions.

"What do-"

Lightning held up her hand before Sazh, listening to the open blackness before them. There was definitely something there. It fluttered, like wings steadying mid-flight, or cloth catching the wind. The sounds came from multiple places in the room and from the look on Zalera's face she could tell that the Pulsian could hear it too. It was enough to make her uneasiness grow tenfold.

Taking a glow stick from her pack, she broke it, holding it before her. "Hope, you should-" Lightning's speech was interrupted as her light source was suddenly knocked to the side. She then took a painful hit to the chest, a firm strike to her collarbone that caused her to fly into a far wall and let out a cry that echoed around her long after she hit the floor.

Dizzied by the blow, Lightning attempted to get up, fist clenched in the dirt beneath her. She heard Hope yell out for her, but she could only respond with a wheeze. Soon his sudden cry joined hers in echoing through the air, along with Sazh's and Zalera's.

They were then surrounded by darkness, the four of them split up in a room of undeterminable size with something that they could not detect. The quiet calm that descended was eerie and Lightning desperately wished for her sight back. But if she had to fight blind, she would. Once again she let her other senses guide her, her uncertainty drive her. She let her impaired sense be overcome by her other ones.

But even as she did so she could hear nothing, the odd fluttering gone. She could feel nothing but the grainy dirt beneath her body and that sense of horrible dread being fed into a monstrous size as the moments ticked by. Collecting herself and knocking her jaw back into place, she stood. She couldn't hear anything. None of the enemy, not one of her teammates, and that scared her.

"Hope?" It came out as a hoarse whisper, so she tried again. "Ho-" Again she was knocked back, but this time she stayed against the wall, her limbs splayed against it. It was like there was an invisible barrier holding her there and it rendered her incredibly vulnerable. A fury began to boil within her. This wasn't going to happen again. She couldn't just be held back by a monster threatening her family. _Not again. Never again._

With a rage she had reserved only for Castea, she tried to speak again, to lash out at whatever was binding her, to find Hope and the rest of her group, but something lightly scraping across her throat stopped her.

It felt like razor sharp talons.

"What makes you think you are worthy to speak on these hallowed grounds?"

The voice was raspy and came out like the slither of a snake, wholly unpleasant to the ear. Lightning went to speak again, but the talons dug deeper into her skin.

"You are the leader? One of such vile ancestry?"

_Vile ancestry?_ "Do you want an answer to that, or do you just want to show off that pretty voice of yours?"

"Insolence!" The talons swiped across her neck and she could feel the very thin line that had been drawn into it, along with the small amount of blood that seeped from the painful, but ultimately insignificant wound. "You dare insult a warrior of our great Creator?!"

Now she was getting somewhere.

She was beginning to get really tired of this already. Facing an opponent she couldn't see where she couldn't even move was hardly fair. Before she could reply, another voice shot out.

"No! I'm the leader of this group. You got a problem, I'm the one you want!"

Zalera's voice rang out from somewhere not too far away and Lightning breathed a sigh of relief. Until what the woman said had time to sink in, of course. "Zalera, what are you-"

"Shut up, Lightning! Did I say you could talk!?"

Zalera's words shocked her, but she understood what she was doing. A sharp grunt of pain came from the Pulsian and Lightning's eyes searched hopelessly through the darkness to find her.

"Do you think having a Pulsian speak for you is the wisest option? Ha, not this one. I do not wish to speak with someone so impure."

"Who are you? What do you want?" Lightning demanded. She wouldn't let anyone take any beatings for her, and it was obvious that the tactic of having a Pulsian representative talk for them would lead them nowhere. A heavy gust of wind, ice cold on her skin, was the only indication of movement before the being was directly in front of her once more.

"You ask such questions when you have trespassed into Pulse's domain? Without proper blood or tribute? I believe _we_ are who should be asking those questions, but we already know what you want. And you most certainly are unworthy of wielding such power."

Lightning smirked. The crystal was there after all. Before any more words could be exchanged, a massive pack of fireballs flew in all directions, lighting up the room. The being before her shrieked and attempted to shield itself from the magic.

In the fiery glow, Lightning could only catch a glimpse of her enemy, a giant, floating being wrapped in shadow.

It wasn't alone, as her earlier observations had suggested. Other dark beings floated beyond it, scattered around the room, all screaming at the flying flames. The fire never touched any of them, their movements too quick, but it didn't appear to have to. The beings burst into ashes almost as soon as they were visible, as if the light was enough to leave only dust behind.

The deaths of whatever had attacked them loosened the grip on her body and she fell to the ground, the harsh dirt biting into her skin. Lightning's head shot up and she instantly looked for the source of the fire, knowing who she would see and finding immense comfort in the sight.

As if on cue, the area lit up, yellow crystals built into the walls and ceiling all shining at once. An ethereal glow swallowed the room, the remnants of the beings slowly drifting up from the floor before dissipating into nothingness.

Lightning got to her knees and by the time she looked back up, Hope was in front of her, helping her up.

"I'm sorry it took me so long. I kind of got knocked out." He rubbed the back of his neck before remembering himself and turning away from her. "You guys okay?!" he yelled through cupped hands.

Sazh helped Zalera to them. She limped in his hold, her arm holding her side, although looking otherwise okay. Hope surged forward to heal her after they'd crossed the room, but she waved him off. "Save your strength, Hope. I'm surely only bruised."

"Okay," Sazh huffed in a breath, "what were those things?"

"Sounded like they were protecting Pulse and his castle." Hope gave a glance to Zalera. "I think we might have just met some of those devout followers."

"But… they looked so horrible. Like-"

"The undead," Zalera finished, turning to Sazh. "Why is that surprising? That's what they are, in a sense, isn't it?"

"You'd think as a God's protectors they'd… I don't know, look like angels, or something. Floating souls, maybe even ghosts, but not rotting corpses."

Her teammates had gotten a better look at their opponent, but Lightning shook the thought off. She'd have more time to reflect back on the creature later. "It doesn't matter, we need to get going." Lightning pulled herself together, letting her anger cool before checking out the rest of the room. _That's the_ last _time I'm getting blindsided._ There was another opening across from them, a staircase that led to the only way out. "I don't suppose these tiny crystals here are what we want?"

The silveret shook his head. "No, I'm not sensing anything from them. I think they're just a light source."

"Figures," she muttered. "Let's keep moving."

"We should probably discuss this first." Hope grabbed her shoulder for a few moments before letting go. He could see the frustration crouched low in her jaw, the burning desire to fight swirling within her aqua irises. "Are you okay?"

"What's there to discuss? We find the crystal," she looked ahead, absolute certainty flaring within her eyes, "and get out."

* * *

The yellow crystals seemed to invite them forward as they entered the first level of the castle. The space was empty, filled only with thick dust and heavy, stale air. Amongst the crystals were stone statues, Pulsian writing and crude drawings along the walls. Most of the words were beyond Hope, just as with the stone in the courtyard, but it was clear that the pictures told the stories of the castle's master from the birth of Pulse to his great creations upon land. Much of it aligned with what he'd seen amongst the ancient scrolls back home.

Hope ran his fingers along the rough walls, mind wandering, He thought about the devotion it must have taken for those people, all of Pulse's followers. They gave their lives to serve him and, in the end, they gave him their deaths. There was an odd thrum echoing through the hall - echoes of memory, of lives past lived, of wants and desires and passions all drifting and swirling within the air. It all became one cohesive presence that haunted them. Those beings weren't finished. Hope could feel it.

Lightning stood before the massive figure of Pulse, eyes boring holes into the stone. This whole mess was their responsibility. She would have hit the giant statue if she thought it would help at all. She may not have ever put much stock in the Gods' power, but she remembered the one night she had attempted to call out to them, a night she spent begging them to heal her mother's illness before the suffering had turned her cold. _What a waste of words those were…_

She wasn't sure what they were supposed to be looking for. She wasn't stupid enough to think that there would just be some large crystal on a pedestal in the middle of the room with a helpful sign pointing to it saying 'Here, this will solve all of your problems and save the planet and all of your loved ones!' Blind optimism was Hope's thing. Watching him in her periphery, she saw him tracing his fingers along some old scrawls with a tempered wonder. She would have found it endearing if their argument wasn't still a nearly tangible wall between them. Her mind flashed back to the hurt in his eyes, to the betrayal sunk deep into his expression, to his impossible insistence at defending the people that could and would easily kill him in an instant.

A question of if he knew anything that could help them was on the tip of her tongue, but lost will and drew back. She knew it was petty, but she didn't need Hope to find the crystal shard. She could do this without his help. To be honest, she hoped they wouldn't find it at all.

"Man, I miss the big guy." When all eyes turned to him, Sazh found the need to clarify. "Snow always had something uplifting to shout at times like these."

"Something like," Hope clapped him on the shoulder and with a wide grin shouted out, "The heroes always win! We'll show you a miracle!" He could barely get the last sentence out due to being almost overcome with laughter. Those lines definitely didn't sound right coming from him, no matter how big and boisterous he made his voice or how far out he puffed his chest.

Sazh could only laugh right alongside him, noticing how even Lightning couldn't prevent a small chuckle at the display.

Zalera shook her head, an amused smile on her lips. "He sounds a tad on the obnoxiously optimistic side."

"You have no idea," spoke Lightning, a hint of reluctant fondness to her tone. "That idiot could hardly protect my sister and he thought he could save the world."

Hope gave another laugh. "C'mon, you have to admit that he was pretty good at lifting spirits."

"Yeah, he was a total riot," Lightning deadpanned, "Remind me why you wanted to knife him again?" She hadn't meant to say that. She really hadn't meant to say that. She cringed at the silence that fell over the room and kept her eyes focused on the statue in front of her. There was just so much bitter anger swirling inside of her that she couldn't stop herself. When Hope spoke again his voice was small, hoarse in a way that made Lightning want to pound the stone idol even more.

"I'm going to check the next level."

Sazh watched him walk off and up the next flight of stairs. When Hope was out of ear shot, the pilot rounded on Lightning. "What was that?! How could you even bring that up at a time like this?!"

Pinching the bridge of her nose to stem off the coming headache, she turned to face him, unsurprised to see him furious. "I don't know, okay? It just slipped out…"

"Just slipped out? You think that's some sort of excuse? I know you guys are fighting and all, but that was a low blow, even for you."

"You think I don't know that?" Lightning snarled.

Zalera looked between the two, baffled at the reason for all of the animosity. She'd heard a lot about Snow, but she'd never heard anything about Hope trying to kill him. "I don't know what's going on here, but Hope really shouldn't be alone."

"Then why don't you go protect him? _You_ can be his guardian! You two would be perfect for each oth-" The sound of the smack registered in her mind long before the initial action or the sting. She slowly moved her hand to her cheek and glowered at the other woman.

"Now, why don't you get over yourself and go apologize? I have a feeling he deserves it a hell of a lot more than you do."

Lightning turned her gaze back over to the deity sitting in the center of the wall, channeling all of her hatred into it before attempting to let it go. Swallowing, she turned to the staircase and made her way forward, expression resigned. "Yeah, alright. You guys finish down here and then meet us when you're done."

* * *

It took longer to find him than she thought. He was in one of the castle's barren rooms, just standing there facing the wall. Attempting to bat her pride aside, Lightning strode forward, still completely unsure of what to say. She called out to him, but he didn't react. She could hardly say she was surprised. He had a right to ignore her. She stopped in the middle of the old, dusty room. The yellow light of the crystals cast an innocent glow around the young man, only deepening her guilt.

Fine, if he wasn't willing to speak with her yet, then she'd just have to make him listen. "I'm sorry, Hope." He didn't move, not even a twitch of muscle indicated that her apology affected him at all. Which was weird for him. Maybe her words struck a deeper chord than she'd thought. "That didn't come out right. I didn't mean to make light of what happened back then, I just… It pisses me off. Snow's a good man, I know that now. And he's a good match for Serah. I know he'll try his damnedest to protect her even if it means his death." Now that she thought about it, Snow's maddening need to protect Serah aligned quite well with her own desperate need to protect Hope. She found her fondness for the man grow a little more. After everything that had happened, after finding her own other half as Snow had, she found she understood the man much more. He was still a dumb oaf, though.

"But his gung ho attitude about saving everyone, no matter the cost… His dangerous, half-assed attempts at being the hero… I can never forgive him for losing Serah. She became a l'Cie. She got taken by Anima. She turned crystal-" Lightning broke off in a choke. She'd forgotten just how much grief she still held inside about her sister. There was an incredible amount of hatred she still harbored for Snow in there with it. "And it all happened on his watch! He swore he'd protect her! He swore he loved her, and _god damn_ it if I didn't believe him. I may not have liked him, but I believed him when he said that he was always going to be there for her. And where is he now? Just as lost in crystal as she is." She huffed out a breath, staring at Hope's back. She wanted him to turn around, needed him to look at her, to tell her that her grudges were stupid, but he wasn't saying anything.

"And I know that your mother's death wasn't really Snow's fault. I know you've forgiven him for any part he played, but maybe I haven't. Because I still remember how much pain you were in. I remember the hatred you harbored, and the anguish that led to your actions that day. Maybe you wouldn't be an orphan right now if he just thought everything through more."

" _Lightning…_ "

It was raspy and quiet, strained with emotion, but now she knew he was listening. Hope still wouldn't face her, but he was attentive to her words. She just had to keep going. Brutal honesty was killing her, but that was okay if it helped her assuage the damage she'd dealt to the man she cared for most. "Maybe… maybe it was just a snarky remark to get to you because of our," she refused to say the word fight, "disagreement, but I didn't mean it. Not really. I'm sorry for speaking about your mother's death like it was nothing. I'm so, so sorry. For everything." Desperation hitched into her tone near the end of her sentence, a perfect companion for the odd shaking that had taken over her balled fists.

She waited for him to respond and when nothing came, she found her shoulders drooping as an exasperated sigh left her. He still wasn't moving and she didn't know what to do. It wasn't like apologizing had been easy. Apologies weren't something she took lightly or made half-heartedly.

She found it incredibly bizarre that he had yet to acknowledge her aside from the utterance of her name. Hope was hurt, maybe angry, but this reaction wasn't like him. Not in the slightest.

That's when she noticed that something was truly off with the situation she'd walked into. Hope wasn't simply standing there, he was completely solid in his stance, and as she reached out to touch him, she found that his muscles were taut with tension. "Hope?"

"… _Run, Light…"_

Hope's distraught words reached her ears, the two syllables just as strained as her name had been. Before she could discern the cause for his predicament and run to his aid, a familiar chill washed over her. It was a trap, and she walked right into it.

Something was there, watching, waiting. It was quiet, but wholly noticeable, like a stone disturbing still waters. She wasn't going to let it get the drop on her. _Never again._ Swiftly turning on her heel, Lightning shot at the presence behind her. It was too late, and it wasn't enough. The shots burrowed into the creature, but disintegrated in its shadows. Now nearly face to face, she could see the thing for what it was. The undead was not far off.

It was a ghoulish figure, face gaunt with leathery skin that was nearly melted into the bone of its skull. Its large body floated in the air, wrapped in mists of shadow that swirled like unbridled chaos around its form. Its fingers were black claws, sharp and jagged and Lightning could feel the small cut on her neck begin to sting anew at the mere sight of them. She swallowed as she looked up into the being's eyes. There was nothing there. Hollow sockets were all she could see, but there was a haunted agony in their depths that was tangible to her soul. A need laid within the being, a need to be acknowledged, used or broken free.

By the time she managed to will herself back into a fighting stance, the being swiftly swept forward. She braced for impact only for its body to phase right through her. She didn't understand what had happened until her muscles seized up and she found her heart aching as it was invaded by foreign emotions.

A crippling sorrow bore down upon her, ripping her apart from the inside. She could feel it clenching around her soul, suffocating it with loneliness and rage. Loss and desperation began to fester within the crevices of her heart and she could barely stand the feeling as it threatened to break her and leave her in an empty abyss, void of any life or purpose.

The being sat before her, once again simply watching as its own anguish tore through her. Lightning stared back at it, a strange empathy blossoming as she adopted its pain. This creature was definitely one of Pulse's guardians. It had once been a devout adherent, but it was struggling under the weight of centuries abandoned. Just as the rest were…

For years they'd dwindled away in their own isolation. Those devout souls, once bright and brilliant, had been left to wither and decay, the absence of their great deity heavy in their breasts. They had given up their lives, pledged their souls to an eternity of servitude, and they were still no closer to their God.

Her own anger spiked in response as a shroud of chaos began to envelop around her. A glance to the side showed her that Hope was fighting the same battle she was. At this, she felt her rage soon begin to consume her. The darkness was beginning to overtake him. If she didn't find a way to stop this, it would consume him completely.

She didn't have to worry for much longer, because just as her concern began to grow, the chaos receded and she fell to the floor, her limbs crying out in relief. Hope was coughing beside her, grasping the floor as if it were the answer to his prayers.

The being drew back to the middle of the room, the chaos flowing towards it as if being summoned into its robes. It swirled with the being's own shadows, curling around it as it nurtured the creature's growth. Larger and larger it grew until it became a flowing ball of chaos, no longer a floating soul, and still it continued to expand.

Lightning picked herself up and stumbled her way over to Hope. He was still out of it, just as dazed from the pressure as she was, but she wasn't sure just how long he'd had to endure it. _If only I'd noticed sooner. And here I was stupidly tripping over my apology while Hope was being attacked. What a dumb ass._ She pulled him to his feet as he gathered his wits. She turned back to the being only to choke on its current status.

There was no longer one giant ball of shadow, but two shifting in mid-air. The chaos was highly unstable, trembling as it evolved. The balls eventually morphed until they became shadowy replicas of human bodies. But not just any human bodies. The two forms of chaos were perfect imitations of Hope and Lightning.

"I tried to warn you." Hope cringed, throat incredibly dry, as he stared at the dark form of himself take shape. Every detail was the same, only covered in a shaded black, like a silhouette cast from the light. Its eyes were still hollow, but overflowing with emotion that haunted the depths of his soul.

The door to the entrance of the room slammed shut, causing Lightning to curse at their predicament. She tightened her hold on her blade, her eyes quickly scanning over their newest enemies, trying to pinpoint any weak spots before they could fully form. "Well this is new. Get ready."

Hope yanked out his gunblade and made to reply before Lightning spoke again. Except it wasn't Lightning. It was her voice, but it came from one of the creatures before them.

"What's the matter, Lightning?" the shadow that mimicked the soldier's appearance hissed. "You afraid to fight yourself?"

"She may not be scared," the new form of Hope cut in, "but he definitely is. Poor fraidy cat Estheim. Scared of his own shadow."

Shadow-Lightning chuckled before turning back to her prey, soon stalking around the girl as she spoke. "What are you going to do now? Whine to the gods again and pray that they save your sad, little life? As if you're worth their time, _Claire_."

"How about it, Hope?"

Hope brought his attention back to the dark form of himself, noticing with mild anxiety that the being had gotten closer. The silveret unconsciously stepped nearer to Lightning's side as he brought his weapon in front of him.

"Think you can kill me? Or are you too chicken to even do that?"

"Don't listen to them." Lightning stepped towards Hope as well until they were standing back to back, each facing their respective opponents. "I don't know what these things are, but they aren't even worthy of our attention."

"What? You think I don't know how terrified you are?" Shadow-Lightning smirked, tilting her head to the side as her hollow stare penetrated the woman. "That I can't feel the tremors going down your limbs? I am you. I know what you fear. I know just what to take from you to make you fall."

"Stay away from him!"

"Lightning, calm down." Hope gripped Lightning's wrist from behind, assuring her that he was fine. "They're just trying to rile us up."

Shadow-Hope laughed. "And it's working marvelously. Come on!" The being invited Hope to fight with the subtle incline of his head and the taunting smile on his face. "Are you really just going to stand there and have her fight for you _again_? I thought you loved her. Why do you always force her to fight your own battles?"

"Shut up!" Hope ran at the creature, wanting to wipe the smirk off of its face and put an end to its ridiculous lies.

"Hope!" She couldn't stop him as he charged for the darker version of himself. Before she could even attempt to move in his direction, the heavy blade of a gunblade came down towards her and she barely managed to catch it with her own. The weapons screeched with the force and Lightning could only stare incredulously at the replica of her blade. It was a perfect match, and so was its owner. Shadow-Lightning jumped back and landed poised in Lightning's usual battle stance. Everything was the same, her clothes, her weapon, her intimidating aura, even the necklace that hung from her neck. It pissed Lightning off immensely.

She surged forward, Shadow-Lightning catching her attack easily. The sergeant recovered quickly, striking ruthlessly at the dark being with all of the strength she held within. She grit her teeth in frustration as every blow was parried, as if it knew Lightning's attacks well before she executed them. Realizing that continuing her current approach would prove fruitless, she withdrew only for the other to come at her, attacking her with a fervor equal to her own.

Confusion descended upon her brow as she matched each swing with a solid block of her own. She caught each swipe, knew each blow like the back of her hand. No one had ever fought her like this. She'd met and challenged many strong warriors, but none of them could manage to copy her actions to a tee. None of them had ever before been able to predict her movements as accurately as this one. It was like she was truly fighting herself.

Hope quickly came upon the same realization. None of the attacks with the blade or gun of his weapon were working. Not even his boomerang was having any luck. Apparently Shadow-Hope had not only a shadow-gunblade, but also a shadow-boomerang and was as thoroughly trained with both weapons as Hope himself was.

The young director ducked the black boomerang and watched as it swirled back to its master. This problem worked both ways, though. Where Hope couldn't land a single blow, neither could the other. They both knew their own strengths and limitations. They knew and owned the same fighting style.

Testing out a theory, Hope let a fire spell burst free from his palm, more than a little agitated as the flames were instantly iced over before they shattered into tiny crystals that scattered on the floor. Even his l'Cie powers could be handled and mimicked. That was more than a little alarming. _How am I supposed to defeat myself?_ He stared at the ground, desperately trying to find a way to resolve this issue.

Shadow-Hope was more than happy to take advantage of his lapse in attention. "I'm surprised you have the guts to use your abilities anymore. Aren't you afraid you might kill someone?" He tossed a ruin towards his distracted opponent, a little caught off guard as Hope managed to summon a shield before impact. "That's what you are, right? A killer? A destroyer? You don't deserve to share the same air as your friends, let alone fight beside them!"

"Just shut up!" Hope threw every spell he knew at his enemy, his anger rapidly turning into a fiery wrath, but still nothing struck the creature. All of the spells were met by their counterparts, or were easily snuffed out before they could get very far. A desperate panic quickened his breaths as he took in the state of Shadow-Hope. The bastard was hardly even affected.

"There's no point fighting ourselves!"

Lightning's voice buoyed him from his dismay. He turned his attention to her own fight, soon seeing that they were in the same stalemate.

Lightning tried one last strike towards Shadow-Lightning before flipping back away from her. She landed beside Hope, her fierce gaze finding his. "But what about each other?"

Hope blinked at the suggestion before beaming at her for such a brilliant idea. "But what about my abilities? He has l'Cie magic like me."

"I'm not worried." She switched sides with Hope, facing his opponent and leaving him to handle hers. "Besides, you should be more concerned for your own sake. You really think you can beat me?"

Hope shook his head at her teasing and reluctantly conceded before coming to face a displeased Shadow-Lightning.

"How pitiful. Surrendering your position to a man, Claire? You ought to be ashamed of yourself."

Lightning ignored her, assessing the new Hope in front of her.

"You don't actually think you can best me, do you?" Shadow-Hope spat. "I'm destined for God's power. I have the potential to crush this entire planet. You're no more than an insignificant ant waiting to be squashed under my boot."

Lightning raised an unimpressed brow and glanced back at Hope. "Tell me you aren't really this conceited in your head."

Hope scoffed in reply before Shadow-Lightning was on him, striking at him mercilessly. It took a lot of his strength just to keep up with her blows. He was covered with sweat by the time she retreated to recoup. During the brief respite, he tried to think up a plan of attack. He knew nothing of how to take on this new enemy. It was immune to his libra, so he was going to have to do this himself.

But this opponent wasn't actually all that new, was it?

Shadow-Lightning was just like Shadow-Hope. He couldn't fight himself because Shadow-Hope knew and used all of his own moves. As he watched Shadow-Lightning, took the brunt of every hit and swing, he realized that he just had to think of fighting Shadow-Lightning as fighting the real Lightning.

Pinpricks of guilt stung him as he evaluated her movements, trying to spot her weaknesses. It felt immensely wrong looking for the flaws in Lightning's fighting. A large part of him didn't want to know how to take her down. He didn't want to know the ways Lightning could be brought to her knees. But a better part of him, the more logical, practical part of him took over, silencing any protests his more emotional side had.

Lightning was strong and controlled in her fighting, having been trained in the militant arts. All of her moves held purpose, to strike swiftly or to draw out her opponent's weaknesses so she could find a hole to take them down. Her eyes were ever calculating, keeping pace with her remarkable ability to read an enemy's moves. She was constantly on the offensive, not allowing the enemy to get a decent hit in. Her attacks were sure and she always struck with confidence, moving fluidly and gracefully in battle. She'd been trained to fight, and she'd been trained well.

With this training, though, came a fault. Her style was based on fundamentals, practiced and perfected move patterns that were guided by muscle memory. When given certain, specific attacks, Lightning would respond predictably. Her acrobatic fighting style made it hard to detect, but she had a predetermined plan set for every step. It wasn't something just anyone could see, but Hope hadn't spent so much time watching the rear for nothing.

Hope made a swipe for her left leg as she swooped in and she responded accordingly. Abandoning her original move, she spun out of his attack's range and came back to deal a blow to his right side. Hope was already there to parry it and their blades met with a satisfactory clang. Backing off, this time he went in for her legs, swiping a little lower than his last attack. Before his weapon even made it halfway, she jumped over him. She landed directly behind his back, prepped to make a devastating slash at his unguarded body.

Again, he was ready. He ducked her blade and pivoted on his heel, pulling his weapon back towards himself as he readied to plunge it into her abdomen. He was ready to make the final move. This was it.

But he couldn't do it. His arms locked into place with his gunblade frozen midway. He couldn't move, and this time it wasn't due to some spirit keeping him in place.

It would be so easy. Just stab her in the stomach and leave the blade in so it couldn't be healed. His opponent would be dealt with. She would be dead in seconds. Lightning would be dead.

He could see it already; Lightning was on the ground, bleeding out until her heart stopped pumping. Until the air left her lungs. Until the light left her eyes.

He couldn't do this. He couldn't kill Lightning.

_It's not her. It's not her. It's not Lightning!_

He could tell himself it wasn't her a hundred times over, but it wasn't helping him make the final move.

"You can't do it, can you? You're still just as pathetic as you were back in the Vile Peaks."

She came back at him, ruthlessly assaulting him with everything she had. He just barely managed to dodge each blow until she caught him off guard with a boot to the chest. She kicked him back and he flew to the ground with a pained grunt. Just as he managed to get back on his feet, she assailed him with a barrage of shots. His protect absorbed most of the damage, but his left side took a hit. He staggered with the force of the bullet, hissing at the pain as his boomerang left his fingertips.

"Using magic is kind of a cheat, you know? Why don't you face me like a real man?"

Hope found a tired smile pulling at his face as he held his wound. The bullet had gone straight through, but he didn't think his opponent would allow him the time to heal it. "You have your strengths, I have mine. Speaking of," his smile grew and Shadow-Lightning's face scrunched up in confusion before she was knocked to the ground by a harsh strike to the back of her head. Hope caught his trusted boomerang when it made its way back to him. "Sorry, that was a little underhanded, I know."

"Just you wait, you little runt," she growled.

Hope repressed a shiver, but _Oh, that was good._ That growl had some dark, raspy undertones that didn't belong to the Lightning he knew. They were finally getting to the creature hidden inside the façade.

Lightning had never imagined what it would be like to fight Hope. It was a completely new concept for her and the idea churned her stomach more than she thought it would, but he was just another opponent. This Hope was in her way, and she had to stop him. Simple as that.

In order to accurately observe Hope's fighting, she had to draw the moves out of him, even if it meant using herself as bait. As they fought, she left openings for him and attacked only to reveal his failings. She had to be quick, lest he gain the upper hand.

Hope's fighting lacked method. It was obvious that while he was a skilled fighter, he lacked formal training. His style was a rough mixture of instinct, adaptability, and learning experiences from previous battles. He had always been quick to learn. This had carried into his fighting as well, it seemed. The way he fought was wild and unrefined, but willful and complex. He was always ready to deflect whatever came at him however he could, to strike in whatever manner allowed him to survive. It made guessing his next move nearly impossible.

That wasn't to say that he didn't have any weaknesses. Hope lacked a strong base. He was quick on his feet, but he relied on his adaptable, offensive movements too much. His defense was impaired by his ill stance. Without a firm stance, his attacks lacked strength and it left him far too vulnerable to heavy strikes from an opponent. A tree without good roots didn't have a hope of survival.

Lightning redirected her attacks to account for her observations, but Shadow-Hope appeared to catch on instantly. As if realizing that he couldn't take her head on, he threw her off course with an aero. The air spun around her, lifting her up and off of her feet as she flew back. She quickly recovered, landing in a crouch a few paces away. Her eyes locked back onto her target, but she found herself grow unnaturally weary.

A thick haze clouded her mind, causing her to trip over her own feet and gracelessly flop onto the smooth stone floor. "A… daze spell…" Though her eyelids felt heavy as lead and she fought to keep her sight, she watched as Shadow-Hope drew up another spell.

It was coming for her. She needed to get up.

_You aren't going to keep letting the enemy have the upper hand. Do something, you moron!_

Through sheer willpower, she got herself up in time to dodge. Lightning slid out of the way of the wave of water that crashed towards her, soon having to skid around several more before making it to her current enemy. She would have managed to slash his face had he not already prepared a barrier around himself. The moment her weapon struck the protect spell, a powerful shock of electricity leapt through the blade and into her body. The gunblade fell from her grasp and she fell to the floor as her muscles spasmed in the aftermath.

"I'd say I told you so, but that just seems a little childish." Shadow-Hope walked around her, turning away to watch the battle going on across from them. "Maybe I should just leave you here and help her finish him off. That would be worse torture, wouldn't it?" When there was no reply, he turned around only to jump back and screech at the flames that scorched his being.

Lightning dropped her drained manadrive to the ground, satisfaction flashing briefly across her face as she watched the creature cry out, its form greatly disturbed by the fire as wisps of chaos bled from it. _Guess it came down to fighting magic with magic._ She was surprised that it had affected him, especially to this extent. It had been one of the few manadrives she'd had when they'd fled Academia, and even though she'd charged it to its maximum potential, she was still shocked to see how easily the magic consumed Shadow-Hope.

When the flames died down, the being seemed to no longer be able to hold its shape. It reverted back to its original, ghoulish form, hissing out quick breaths and sounding quite wounded.

"So the fire _does_ hurt you," commented Lightning. "I thought your friends below were destroyed by the light, but it really was the fire."

"Don't you dare insult me!" the Pulse adherent yelled. "I'm nothing like those treacherous weaklings! They lost their faith in our great deity! They're not even able to face faint traces of light! Never compare me to them! Those who cannot even protect our most precious domain do not deserve to dwell here!" The being breathed in, drawing in more chaos from any of the shadows and dark corners that lied around the room. The darkness pooled into the form of a large blade at its hand. "Your magic is weak, human, but your light is strong. I won't underestimate you again."

Lightning struggled to get a firm grasp on her weapon as the follower came at her again. It drew up its sword and she just barely lunged out of the way of its heavy swing. She watched, amazed at how the strike split the ground as if it were merely tender flesh.

Hope took notice of the change in Lightning's battle, but couldn't help her. Shadow-Lightning hadn't taken his one triumphant hit well. She was angry, battling him with a fire he'd seen ignited within Lightning only a few times before. Fighting her was harder than he had previously thought, but he needed to end her before she managed to convert into something akin to what Lightning was fighting now.

He had listened to Lightning and her opponent's exchange. It appeared that in their time protecting the castle, Pulse's guardians had withered not only spiritually, but physically. The ones their team had faced in the bowels of the castle had been the weakest of their kind and could only dwell where the light could not touch them. These followers were stronger, not as lost and hopeless, but they were still weary from the long centuries past. If he could find a stronger light source than his fire, maybe he could win this.

He ducked another swipe from Shadow-Lightning and came back at her with a few fire-infused shots. The bullets didn't simply fuse into her form as the previous normal ones had. She screamed as they lodged into her body and she came down to one knee. Hope brought his hand up, mentally flipping through all of the abilities he knew and trying to come up with the one that could bear the most light. _It's not Lightning. You can't hesitate this time._

Lightning was knocked back by the Pulse creature, but this time there was no follow-up blow. Instead she watched as the being went to the other's aid, aiming directly for Hope. An icy fear electrified her being and had her sprinting towards the unaware teen. "Hope!" She got in front of him just in time for the blow to hit her instead of him.

He watched her fly sideways into the wall, her body crashing into the stone with such force that he wasn't sure if she would ever get back up. "Lightning!" Hope faced the floating creature with an unmasked rage, his hand coming up before him as a spell formed between his fingertips. It didn't matter what spell it was. All thought ceased as instinct took over. All that mattered was decimating the being in front of him.

It yielded the same familiar static crackling as a thundara, but held the searing warmth of a fira. Instead of either, a brilliant white glow began to emanate from his hand. He marveled at the new ability forming at his fingertips, his anger quickly being dispelled as confusion and awe claimed him. It was incredible. Exhilarating and incredible. The magic drew the breath out of him and it was like he was suspended, his body and mind simply letting the magic take over. The power surged through him, collecting in his palm. It pulsed, slowly growing bigger and stronger until the light came to encompass the entire room. The sheer brightness of it became too much and Hope closed his eyes. Screams and cries sounded around him as everything was swallowed by the white light.

And then it was quiet. Hope opened his eyes to the whiteness that his brand had birthed. He could feel the emptiness around him, the distinct lack of presence.

_How… is this possible?_

" _Don't let it command you, Hope."_

Alexander's words prompted Hope to return to himself and he pulled his magic back before it could do any more damage. His body shook, utilizing all of its lasting strength to restrain whatever it was he'd unleashed. For a frighteningly long moment, he thought he wasn't going to be able to.

When the power receded, and the spell vanished back into his being, Hope found his vision begin to fade as he collapsed to the ground. The creatures were gone, vanquished as far as he could tell. A bright blue sphere spun in the center of the room, its glow calling to him, but he couldn't keep his eyes open as the darkness invaded his consciousness. Loud shouts reverberated around the room, calling to him and Lightning. He wanted to take comfort in those familiar voices, but he could only drift off into a dark, dreamless sleep.


	27. Affliction

The blinding brightness was the first thing she opened her eyes to. Her aqua orbs sought out Hope's form as she struggled to see through it, but all she could spot were the two Pulse guardians shivering in the whiteness. Their screams were shrill tells of the pain such light brought them as their shadowy bodies disintegrated into the air. It was an enrapturing sight, but eventually the light began to sting her retinas and she closed them tightly with a hiss.

It was a long, drawn out moment before the light finally faded. Lightning hesitated in opening her eyes, unsure what she would find. A lone thud from across the room had her eyelids flying open faster than she'd wanted. Her vision was blurry and she had to blink several times to get the white spots to clear, but when they did she spotted Hope's fallen body in the middle of the floor. Terror consumed her as she stared at his prone form. He laid there unmoving, possibly not breathing, and quite possibly dead. Before she could call out to him she heard the doors slam open, Sazh's shouts carrying over to her. She attempted to move so she could see the entrance and her teammates rushing to their aid, but the slight tug drew a near scream from her throat.

It wasn't until then that the state of her own body registered to her. Everything hurt. Her entire left side felt broken and fractured, all of it too limp to move. The rest of her had an uncontrollable twitch, her nerves still partially frayed as they fought off the remnants of Shadow-Hope's thundara. The worst was her neck that felt unbearably tight and rigid, like the tendons and muscles were being stretched to their limit without even a moment of mercy given.

Zalera stood over her, panic in her eyes. " _What_ happened to you?"

The woman attempted to turn her over, but just the light pressure as her palm met her forearm had her crying out. Zalera quickly backed off. "H-Hope," Lightning croaked, "is he-"

"Sazh is tending to him. For now, just focus on my voice. This is going to hurt like hell."

Before she could question that statement, the Pulsian yanked her over onto her back and pulled her up into her lap, the movements causing her to scream out in blinding agony. The pain rippled all throughout her body, drawing tears from her eyes as her fingers scraped uselessly against Zalera's thigh. Just as she was about to yell at the woman holding her, a bottle was quickly pressed against her lips and she tried her best to swallow the substance as it was practically forced down her throat.

"Alright," Zalera cooed as she brushed the bangs from the girl's forehead. "That should help… At least I hope so. I was never very good at this."

Lightning grimaced at the taste, but the effects of whatever she'd been given easily overshadowed its grainy, dirt-like flavor. The warmth collected in her belly before spreading out to the rest of her limbs. She could feel it settle into her body as it connected bones and tissues, reduced the burning inferno that had taken over her muscles, and smoothed over the jitters of her nerves. It was a calm current that soothed over every inch of the trauma, her breath hitching in discomfort every few seconds as something snapped back into place. Whatever it was packed quite the punch.

When the pain finally waned, her injuries still present, but a fraction of their previous severity, she sat up and pulled herself away. She glared over her shoulder at Zalera, distaste creasing her features. "What did you just give me?"

Zalera's expression fell, her eyebrow twitching in annoyance. "You could at least say thank you." Lightning only gave her a slow blink in return and she heaved a long sigh. "It's an old healer's remedy. I made it back in the mountains figuring it would come in handy if one of us ever really needed it. Call it a Pulsian version of your potions, if you want. It saved your ass, so you could at least be a little grateful about it."

Lightning ignored that last comment, standing up and wiping her lips with the back of her hand. Her gaze fled from the disgruntled Pulsian over to Hope and Sazh as the latter knelt over the silveret, bandaging his side. "How is he?"

Sazh stood as the soldier made her way over. "He has a bullet wound by his hip, but the bleeding's minimal. His skin's a little hot, but he looks healthy otherwise… Did that light come from him… or that?"

Lightning followed Sazh's finger as he pointed to the middle of the room. Her jaw slackened as the hovering crystal came into sight. "Is that…?"

"Would seem so." Zalera stood and walked over to the shard, gazing at it intently. "So _this_ is what all this has been about?" She couldn't help the irritation that seeped into her tone. This tiny crystal fragment was what the four of them had been sent after. This thing had been the cause of the fall of her tribe. _You took everyone from me. You took Yeul!_ In a flash of impulsive anger, she reached out to grab it. She didn't even know what she would do with it except smash it against the wall.

But as her hand just barely grazed the blue orb of light that emanated from the shard, an immediate spark shot out. Zalera suppressed a scream as she yanked her hand back. She gazed down at her palm, cringing as the ghost of pain scorched her hand, but there was no visible damage. Everything was as it should be.

Sazh was by her in an instant. "You alright?" He tried to look at her hand, but she sheltered it against her chest before he could get the chance.

"Fine," she spat. "Just don't touch it. That damn thing must know its owner." Her eyes settled on the unconscious teen, hoping that it wouldn't hurt him the way it had lashed out at her. "How'd you guys find this thing, anyway?"

Lightning shook her head, running a hand down her face. "We didn't. We got trapped by more of those spirits. I guess defeating them summoned it." She gave a groan as it reminded her of the throbbing in her side. "And where were you two while we were fighting for our lives?"

Sazh and Zalera shared a glance, both wincing at her accusatory tone. "We kinda got… locked out," explained Sazh.

"What do you mean 'locked out'? You guys couldn't even bust down the door? We could have used you!" Lightning glanced back down at the slumbering Hope, concerned that he hadn't woken up yet. She turned back to her two companions, crossing her arms as she cocked a hip.

"We tried," Zalera snapped, irked at the soldier's overall behavior, "but it wouldn't budge! You know what-"

Sazh came between them, his hands resting on Lightning's shoulders as he looked her over. "You should sit down. You look like hell."

"I _feel_ like hell, but I… What even was that? That light was so intense…"

"No kidding." Zalera kept the crystal in her periphery. As much as she hated the thing, she knew that everything that had befallen her wasn't its fault. Somehow, she had to make peace with that fact. "It was bright enough to shine out from under the door." She glanced down at Hope before focusing back on Lightning. "You really should rest."

Lightning noted the guilt resting within her tone. Both Sazh and Zalera looked deeply upset by the fact that they hadn't been able to help, but their feelings weren't her priority right now. "Not until Hope-" A sudden groan startled her out of her sentence and had her rushing to a certain man's side as he sat up.

Hope went to hold onto his head as the room spun, but his arm couldn't quite make it there. It landed back on the ground with a thump, limp and numb. He felt completely sapped of his energy and it was a wonder that he could even move at all. Everything ached, his bones, his organs, they all felt like they had been squeezed and drained of every ounce of his life-force. It took a lot of willpower to even move his tongue. "What… happened?" Lightning knelt beside him, her expression wrought with concern as she helped him stay sitting. "You're okay."

"Yeah, but you're not." She grasped his chin and forced his gaze to meet hers. She searched his eyes for any sign of brain trauma, but he appeared to be fine. "Can you stand?"

"Don't really wanna try." He laughed at her eye roll. "I'm fine, just exhausted is all. I-" Hope stopped short as his gaze dropped to his hand. It was the same as it had ever been, but he didn't understand what exactly had come from it. That spell had been a lot more powerful than any he had ever used before. "I'm not really sure how I did that."

"What was that?" questioned Sazh, something tightly restrained in his voice.

"I think… I think I used holy magic… in its purest form…" He stared at his brand, completely in awe of the abilities it held. It seemed almost whiter now, but it still held its finer, fragile blue. "I've never done that before."

Lightning pursed her lips and glanced back up at the crystal, wondering if its close proximity had managed to instill a stronger, more dangerous magic within Hope, or if this was simply his brand evolving on its own again. She didn't know which was worse. "The crystal's here, but no one can touch it. It has some sort of barrier or something." She hesitated with her next sentence, her grip on Hope tightening even more. "I think it's up to you."

He tensed with the mention of the crystal. He could already feel the intense power radiating off of it in waves behind him. It held an energy that spoke right to the core of his senses, attempting to lure him in as if it were singing a siren song. A deep desire arose from within Hope as his eyes finally locked with that radiant blue. But for as much as he wished to simply snatch the gem from its perch and claim it as his own, he didn't want to go near it. It wasn't just the crystal's luminous light that resonated with him, but the immense darkness that laid hidden inside. He could do so much good with its power, but it was a double edged sword. It's potential to do harm was just as great as its ability to do good.

He couldn't ignore the eyes of his comrades that no doubt remained on his form, nor could he disregard his lack of choice in this matter. The crystal shards were their only hope. With this in mind, Hope brought himself to stand. He almost immediately fell back to the floor with the lack of strength in his body, but Lightning was there to catch him. She easily pulled him up against her, her steely gaze assuring him of her unyielding support. Together they walked to the middle of the room, the crystal's vivid luminescence only seeming to shine brighter as they neared. Pushing his fears to the back of his mind, he reached out, his fingertips just grazing the glowing sphere of blue light that surrounded the crystal shard.

"I'm sorry." The words escaped Lightning's throat as if they held a will of their own. She wanted to tell him that this felt wrong, that they should walk away, but even as she felt the danger tingle up her spine, she knew she couldn't protest. The truth burned her from the inside out and she couldn't just ignore it. They needed the crystal, but she knew that once Hope held even a portion of the gods' powers, there was no turning back.

For some reason she had to make sure that they were okay. All of the turmoil, every word spoken in anger or spite, didn't mean a damn thing and he had to know that. She had his back. She always would. "About earlier, I-"

"I know," he replied, a strained smile on his features. "I heard you." Her words had reached him even as he was caught in the grip of the spirit's emotions. Her apology hadn't made the pain go away, nor did it erase what still lingered after their fight, but it was enough to push him forward. After all, they didn't have time for such squabbling, petty or otherwise.

Before Lightning could say anything else and before he could lose his resolve, Hope swiftly grasped the crystal. He winced, closing his eyes as he waited for something horrible to strike. But nothing happened. He opened his eyes after a few moments passed and looked down at his new prize.

It was lighter than he thought it would be. It laid within his palm, now a mere object rather than a mystical legend. Its ominous vibe seemed to fade and Hope breathed a sigh of relief, feeling the tension in Lightning's body also give when all was clear. It was easy to forget what the crystal really was as it sat there innocently, no bigger than a comm device. A little too easy, in fact.

Suddenly the crystal's glow began to grow darker and its weight became heavier. Hope drew in a sharp breath as it began to sting his palm, its energy burning into his skin.

"Drop it, Hope!"

But he couldn't. The shard was already embedding itself into his hand. He could only watch it disappear into his skin, blatant terror in his eyes. He shoved Lightning away as the energy lit up his veins with unbearable pain that brought him to his knees. He cried out as his heart began to beat wildly, his organ trying to fight off the intruder. Clutching at his chest, Hope tried to calm himself, but it was no use. He began to hyperventilate, his lungs being seized of all of their air. It was like his body was being invaded by alien matter and it didn't like it one bit. The crystal energy pulsed fiercely within him until it began to slow, soon keeping time with his heartbeat as it finally fused with his own energy.

When he found himself able to breathe again, Hope sat back on his heels, shaking his limbs out as their earlier lethargy vanished when the shard settled. He felt along his torso, noticing that his bullet wound was also gone.

Lightning came back to his side, her hand cautiously gripping his shoulder as her eyes frantically searched his form. "Hope, what-"

"I'm fine." He clasped his hands around hers, his body finally steady and sure. "I think it's-" His eyes widened and he drew up a hand to his mouth as his stomach unexpectedly tightened. He turned and puked on the castle floor. He heaved and heaved, unable to stop even as he came to notice that he was vomiting up an unhealthy amount of blood. He was dizzy when the urge to wretch quieted. He sat up again, shaking it off. "Okay… I think I'm really alright this time."

"How can you think you're alright after that?!" Lightning yelled. She grabbed Hope's chest, her fingers gripping tightly onto the fabric of his jacket, as if she could reach in and snatch the crystal back out. She wanted the vile thing out of him before it could do any more damage. She couldn't believe she let him do it. It was her job to keep him safe. "We have to get it out of you."

"How, Lightning? How do you expect to do that?"

"I don't know, but we can't just-" Lightning's brow furrowed as she felt a sharp pull on her abdomen, like she was being tugged back by a leash. It was persistent and she didn't understand what was going on. The tugging stopped only for it to feel like a giant, invisible hand was clutching around her middle. Lightning had just enough time to shove Hope back before she was ripped away from her spot on the ground. Her body flew backwards through the air and she clenched her eyes shut, waiting to feel herself slam back into the wall. But it was like she never made contact. The sound of collapsing stone met her ears and she opened her eyes to see the walls break around her. A sharp change in direction pulled her through the floor of the next room. She blacked out shortly afterward.

"Light!" Hope went to run after her only for his own body to seize up. It was like something was physically trying to pull him away, but he couldn't see anything even as he glanced behind him. Whatever it was, it wasn't letting go, even as he forced all of his willpower against it. He turned his head to Sazh, his eyes pleading. "Go after her." It was all he could manage before he was pulled backwards in the opposite direction of Lightning.

Sazh and Zalera exchanged frantic glances before going to run off after their friends, Sazh after Lightning and Zalera after Hope. They were stopped, however, as l'Cie warriors quickly filled up the room. Sazh narrowed his eyes at their enemies, finding that this abrupt separation made sense now. They were being attacked again and this time by a foe they knew well.

Zalera drew up her chakrams and stood beside Sazh, a deep worry and aggravation searing into her being. It was no mystery who was behind this little charade.

* * *

Lightning awoke once more to the aching stiffness of her bones and a grainy dust in her lungs. Incredibly sore after having been thrown into the building's walls thrice now, and mildly bewildered at how she was still alive, she sat up and surveyed her surroundings. She was still in the castle, that much she could tell. She was about to marvel at the large hole in the ceiling she had made with her entrance, when her sharp senses alerted her to another person within the room. She turned and immediately kicked them in the gut before rolling a safe distance away. It was with a great exhale of relief that she found her gunblade was still in its holster, but this relief was short lived as she came to recognize the face of her attacker.

"It's been a long time, my fair guardian."

Lightning sneered as Sebastian stood before her. "Not long enough."

"You wound me with such harsh words." He brought a hand to his chest, as if having been truly hurt by her statement. "Personally I find our encounters to be quite enchanting."

"That makes one of us." Her eyes swept the room as she continued to back away from him.

"You can relax. We are the only ones here. Just me and you."

"That's supposed to make me feel better?" As she glanced around, she found that his words rang true. There was no one else there. None of his teammates, none of hers. They were alone. It was almost unnerving how much that disturbed her. She was growing too dependent, too soft. She pulled out her weapon and switched it to gun mode, aiming it at his face. "What did you do with Hope? Where are Zalera and Sazh?"

A gruff chuckle of amusement rose from him before he spoke. "Your friends are currently occupied with my brethren. And the child, well, milady desires some time with him."

Her breath cut short as she took a step back in her momentary stun. She was being distracted, yet again, by Sebastian as the conniving woman had Hope in her clutches. She locked her jaw shut with an audible click as pure hatred welled up within her. She wanted nothing more than to end the man right then and there, but she had to get to Hope. She would never forgive herself if Castea hurt him again while she was busy messing with the overgrown barbarian.

Hope was strong, yes. He could take care of himself, yes. But this was Castea. This was the woman that had taken everything from him. She'd be damned if she took anything more.

Sebastian, recognizing the look in her eyes, stepped aside from the lone doorway in the room, extending his thin, but incredibly sharp blade out to guide her to the exit. "Three rooms down there's another hole in the wall. It will lead you right to them."

Lightning eyed the entryway, and then stared at the man. _He went through all that trouble just to get me here and now he's just going to let me leave? As if._ "I don't know what game you're playing at-"

"No games." Sebastian stepped a little farther from the door, blade passive as it joined his side. "I don't desire a fight like our last two encounters. If you're too concerned about your burden, your mind won't be here."

The soldier didn't like it. Not one bit. But she ground her pride down with her teeth and was ready to walk away, only for her gaze to find the long knife holstered at his side. She recognized the blade, though not from her own memories.

Long weeks and months Hope had spent within the ark, his body and soul being carved into by that knife, by that man that she was set to disregard. Castea may have been the mastermind behind it all, but Sebastian had been his main tormentor. _He_ had been the person to cause Hope unbearable pain time and time again. A strong distaste climbed up her tongue as she could see the emptiness in Hope's eyes, the resignation that had claimed his features, all as if it were happening before her right then. She could feel his will to survive hollowing, almost as if she were in his position herself.

With the simple glimpse of that weapon, Lightning knew she couldn't abandon such an opportunity. This man had killed a part of Hope that she could never get back. Castea would get what was coming to her, but Sebastian had to pay first, and he would pay with his life. She pulled herself back in her stance, a little weary on her feet after all she'd endured that day. She wasn't sure how much more her body could take, but he wasn't going to get away with what he'd done. She couldn't believe she'd even considered giving him a pass, but now that she knew even more of Hope's torture since the last time she'd faced him, she felt her need for vengeance burn even stronger.

He laughed again, drawing up his own weapon back from his side. "You want to fight?" he asked, his eyes skimming across his sword with an indecipherable gleam. "Man to man?"

There was something dwelling beneath the surface of his excitement and it had Lightning's suspicions rising tenfold. She didn't know why he seemed to enjoy battling her, but she would make him regret it.

"No, man to woman."

* * *

Everything was a blur. He flew through the air as if he was weightless, a fish caught on a line so strong that it was useless to fight against it. The walls and floors crumbled instantly as he passed through them, the thick, heavy stone reduced to rubble and dust. He didn't feel the impact, not once.

His journey slowed as he came through the last barrier and he was only given a moment to register that he had been brought outside before he was unceremoniously dropped onto the ground. His body slid to a stop, his skin scraping against the dirt as he suppressed a groan at the biting pain. Laying there for a few moments, Hope felt his injuries almost instantly heal over. He frowned as he watched a scrape on his forearm seal up. He'd used no abilities, summoned no magic, used no potions, but the mark was gone all the same. There was a familiar buzz within his veins, though, and he knew, in his gut, that it was the crystal at work. It was protecting him, much like his brand had back when he'd tried to cut it off. He didn't know whether he should feel gratitude or fear.

An overwhelming sense of unease came over him and he shut all unnecessary thoughts out. She was there. He could feel her presence. The woman that had taken his city, had killed his friends, stolen his family. It was undoubtedly her. All of his dormant feelings came back full force and there was no stopping the anguish that washed over him. It was like he was back in Academia, his wounds fresh from all of the fighting, all of the loss. Emilina's screams for her father rang in his ears. Georgina's lost gaze and Maqui's stricken face flashed in front of his eyes. Cass's dead weight still sat upon his chest.

He wanted to kill her. He wanted to maim her. She would die and it wouldn't be pleasant. He would inflict upon her everything that she had dealt to those he loved. She would feel everything he had felt within the ark. He would bring her to the brink of death, and reel her back in. By the time he took her life it would be a mercy she still didn't deserve.

"So what now?" Hope hauled himself up from the rubble, coming to stand before the woman who was far too close to a man who was trying to rein in his homicidal intent. His eyes met hers and he let his emotions out in one slow breath. "Come to take the crystal from me?"

"Smart boy."

Castea grinned and Hope felt another strand of his sanity being plucked by the simple action. "You could have given me a moment to catch my breath, but I suppose it would be foolish to expect such kindness from you." Finally taking the woman in, he found a dangerous hunger in her eyes. Their usual wolfish gleam had intensified with a yearning Hope could easily guess at the cause of. She wanted the shard badly enough that she was practically salivating over it. "You can't have it. This power isn't meant for you." Her answering smirk was too predictable.

"You fancy yourself the hero, Hope?" Her tone was taut with stress, each syllable of her sentence thick with unrestrained resentment and longing. "There's something you have yet to learn. Evil wins. I watched it win in the civil war that took many kingdoms. I watched it win in the last great war that took everyone else. And I watched it in your war with Orphan that took your home. There's no fighting it, Hope. If I am the evil in this tale, then you are doomed to lose, oh great hero."

She spoke with such certainty, a sincere sorrow in her eyes despite the confidence squaring her shoulders. It threw Hope off. He wasn't used to such emotion from the woman. Anger, satisfaction, pain, yes, but never sadness. "I can't speak about your civil war. I know nothing of your origin, except that it is centuries past. But Cocoon and Pulse survived the War of Transgression. As did the people of both worlds." His previous resolve returned to him as he looked upon his brand. Now was not the time to question his path or to fear the new addition to his abilities. He had one of the crystal shards and he would continue to find them. "And we may have lost Cocoon, but that doesn't mean that we lost altogether. We triumphed." He closed his open palm into a tight, determined fist. "And we'll triumph again." He was stronger now. The power of the crystal thrummed with the beat of his heart. There was no way he would let Castea have it now. The only thing she would receive was a painful death.

He could sense the spell coming at him before she had even lifted a finger. The lightning crackled and he could feel it surge throughout his body, but instead of crippling pain, he felt refreshed by the magic. It was as if he had absorbed the spell.

Castea gaped at him, her eyes wild with shock. "You should not be standing…"

Some part of him knew that. He felt the force of the thunder spell, even if he'd failed to suffer the repercussions of it. It had been potent, but he was too strong for it. Not sparing her any time to collect herself, Hope sent three of his own spells toward the woman. She managed to deflect the first two, batting them off easily with a wave of her hand, but she wasn't quick enough to catch the last. It seemed that fire had been his lucky element lately.

She screamed out in agony as the flames ate at her face, her vision covered by orange flashes and her flesh as it sizzled and melted. In a desperate frenzy, she attempted to snuff out the fire with her hands, the sleeves of her robes, anything that would stop the searing pain. She crumpled to the ground, flailing and clawing at the rocks beneath her palms.

Hope watched the bright flames sear into her skin, amazed by its enriched light. The fire burned stronger and more brilliant than any product of his previous fire spells. It was a vibrant and lively orange that burned white at its core, its enhanced energy blazing with crisp purpose. Ignited by feelings of retribution, the fire consumed its meal with immense satisfaction. Hope, on the other hand…

Her screams gratified him at a primal level, but he couldn't help but feel disgusted with himself for enjoying her pain. Although, he couldn't understand why. She had killed and maimed and tortured. Without a hint of remorse she hurt every single person he held dear, and she would continue to do so with a smile. She was the ultimate monster. A creature of nightmares that remained long after one awoke. A demon that refused to be vanquished by mortal tools. She deserved this. She deserved every flicker of pain he managed to inflict.

The heartbeats stopped his thoughts, his spiral into a sadistic rage. He had killed those mountain creatures that had almost eaten Sazh. They had almost eaten Zalera. They could have killed Lightning. But killing them hadn't put him at ease, it didn't serve to fulfill him. Their deaths were necessary for survival. It wasn't out of revenge, or out of a twisted desire to hurt. Those were never supposed to be reasons to kill.

He looked down at Castea, watching her frantic movements, her own attempts to survive.

The mountain pups weren't just monsters. They weren't just ravenous beasts to put down. They were their own beings just looking for a meal. They were just trying to survive, like he himself had been.

Those Pulse disciples weren't just undead husks. They were human souls, trying to protect what they believed in, just as Hope was.

As he thought about the previous foes he had slain, Hope couldn't help but see Castea not as the viscious villain he had always known her as, but as the human that was currently crying out beneath his spell. She could feel pain. She could feel sadness and anger. Standing there, he could only wonder what she'd survived through to become what she was. He could only wonder what she believed in. What she was trying to protect.

With remorse coloring his thoughts, Hope went to use his abilities to draw back the flames, to heal over the cruel harm he had dispensed. But he was too late.

Castea finally gained a handle on her faculties, beginning to tame her panic. The rational part of her mind reached blindly for her magic, a healing spell finally springing forth to soothe over her skin. She let her body slump in relief. It took longer than she would ever admit, but she managed to cure away the pain.

The damage to her face, however, wasn't going away as easily. An alarming tightness had her groping her cheek to feel healed over bumps and mutilated skin. "No," she gasped in horror.

The devastation to her tone just drove another spear of guilt through him. The right side of her face had been deeply marred by his fira and, for some reason, the damage had scarred. He cringed at the sight, watching as her healing abilities failed again and again.

She covered her face with her hands as she gasped in sharp breaths. None of it was working. Nothing she tried repaired any of it and a new panic rose from within, but she couldn't allow herself to fall apart. Not in front of him. Not in front of a man.

Below her shock and strain, Castea found an odd humor sitting at the edges of her emotions. This had been what she had wanted. He was supposed to get stronger. That had been her goal. Get the boy strong enough to obtain the crystals. She just couldn't have imagined that this would be the outcome. To go home with a wounded face and empty hands was just icing on the cake. _This is laughable. I helped him do this to me._ She couldn't stop the chuckles that bubbled up from the depths of her self-loathing

It was a few moments before a low laugh broke through the quiet. It grew until it became a manic cackle that caused Hope to stiffen with caution.

"You're finally getting strong enough, _little Estheim_. Though I wonder how long it will take... until your sanity is in shambles... until you can hardly function with the power of the crystal... until you have nothing but the crystal as your company."

His brow creased as he frowned down at the woman, sympathy still tinging his features despite the irritation resurfacing. "What are you talking about?"

Her hands fell away, revealing her mutilated face that held an expression of crazed amusement. "You have nothing. Your city doesn't trust you, not after you abandoned them. All you have left is your little rag-tag team. And even then..." She came to stand, but didn't attack. Her words were enough. "What would happen if we found the new Yeul? Who do you think Zalera would side with then?"

_Stop it._

"And if we procured Dajh? Where would Sazh's allegiance lie?"

_Stop it. Stop it. Stop it._ Hope knew this already. He knew where he stood with his teammates. But it didn't make it any easier to hear.

"And we all know how deeply Farron cares for her sister. What lengths she'd go to to protect her. Not that you could trust her now, anyway…"

Hope held his feelings back from making any outward appearances, but she read his blank face just as easily.

"Oh? Didn't she tell you? She knows…"

When the implications of her statement settled into his mind, he found her words stabbing into his gut just as fiercely as a physical blow. _She… knows?! But… no, Lightning would tell me. She wouldn't just keep that from me. Not something like this._ But something inside of him told him she would. He remembered the way she'd almost immediately stopped pestering him about it, and how the look in her eyes after the incident had been so full of anguish and defeat.

For the second time that day, he felt the ground vanish beneath his feet.

Castea's face was wicked with glee. "What do you think I was there for? Just visiting her sister? I showed her everything that we went through together in that lovely ark." She laughed, her entire body shaking with mirth as she hugged her middle. "Trust is such a crucial thing in any relationship, isn't it? Doesn't seem like there's much around here, though…"

"Leave them out of this!" He was done listening to her. What was he doing trusting her over Lightning anyway? "You don't get to talk about them. This is our fight."

"They are _all_ a part of this," she spoke, finding it obvious. Did the boy really think that he could spare the teammates he'd taken into battle? _You have to lose what's precious to you, before you can be victorious. You should know that by now, Hope._ "But in the end, it'll just be you. Whether they're dead or not is up to you."

"I'll never abandon them."

"But will they abandon you?" She watched him take in her words, his eyes glazing over in a way that kept her in her fragile high. "I'll enjoy watching how you handle the crystals. I always loved your screams of anguish. And there will be plenty to come."

Hope looked up from the ground to find her gone, but her words hung in the air as a strong and true promise.

"You're mine to kill, Estheim. Do not forget that. If anyone else thinks that they can take that pleasure away from me, they are sorely mistaken."

* * *

Sebastian kept her on her toes quite literally. Every time she landed, he was ready with another blow. Instead of being able to land any of her own hits, she was hopping around from place to place like a hyperactive Ceratosaur. He was fast for his bulky form and his strikes didn't disappoint. Despite his slender blade, his attacks were heavy and substantial, strengthened by his firm stance.

They battled it out for a good while, each striking at the other, but never managing to make contact. Lightning studied his movements from beneath her fringe, his green eyes trained on her as he did the same. When neither made any progress, they backed off, allowing a small lull to pass in silence.

It wasn't until she leapt over him, shooting down at him from above, that she managed to find a weak spot. He may have been fast, but he lacked agility. She landed behind him before he could turn around and delivered a good slice to his back. As she went to strike again, though, he was ready for her, knocking her back with a strong swipe of his elbow. Attempting to retain her balance, she almost missed another swing of his weapon. She quickly blocked its path towards her chest, catching the hit with the flat of her gunblade, but the impact had her stumbling backwards, most of her body a wide open target as her boot slid in the rubble of the ceiling.

She was losing focus. Her speed and strength were already heavily burdened by her fatigue and the throbbing in her limbs that was starting to return, but it was her concentration that was becoming her own worst enemy.

She couldn't focus on the battle, on what was going on right then and there. She couldn't see past the months Hope had spent strapped to Sebastian's table. His pain and his hopelessness were all she could feel and those emotions were only fueling her fury into an outrage she could not control. She drew in quick breaths as Sebastian stepped back, a certain understanding capturing his visage.

"The past haunts your thoughts," he stated, shaking his head. "However are we going to have a fair, honest battle with you in such a condition?"  
Lightning brought herself up and stood strong, a spark of defiance lighting her gaze. "Why?" she asked in an exasperated exhale. "Why did you hurt him? What did you gain from all that?!" Her shoulders heaved with the force of her questions. Sebastian said nothing. That irked her more than any answer he could have possibly given. "How many times did he have to beg you to stop before you were satisfied? You took him and broke him and…"

"It was my duty to see that he reattained his brand."

Her head snapped up at his response. "I saw your face. You _enjoyed_ what you did to him! It was more than just an order," Lightning barked, nose crinkled in contempt. "Yeul, Zalera… Hope, they were all just playthings to you, weren't they?"

Sebastian brought his most prized possession from his side, staring into the reflection held within the blade. When he spoke, it was filled with a deep melancholy. "I didn't used to be this way, but I am what I am. I've become what I needed to be… for her."

She didn't know what kind of answer she'd been expecting, but this one left her completely dissatisfied. She didn't need to know, anyway. Asking questions only wasted time. It was about time for Castea's dog to be put down. Pulling her gunblade back up at the ready, she began her next attack only to be overcome by a blizzara. The frost crept up her limbs, paralyzing her body as ice encased her almost entirely.

"Cheap shot." Lightning struggled in the magic's grip, but it held firm. "Where's your honor as a swordsman?" _As if I expected you to have any._

"My honor was stolen from me years ago. I'm sorry, but I must cut our battle short. My queen calls."

His hand grasped her chin as he looked into her eyes with an unwelcome tenderness. Unable to do much else, she wriggled free from his hand and spat in his face. He laughed, not bothering to wipe her saliva off.

"How I do love your fire, my dear."

Just as he was about to bring his blade back up toward her, he too was frozen in place, his entire body quickly freezing over into an icy statue. It was a few moments before he shattered, pieces of the frozen warrior littering the ground.

"Light, are you alright?" Hope ran into the room, his hands instantly roaming over the ice covering her form. It was thick, solidly built around her body. Choosing to ignore his newly born aversion to the ability, he let a fira burn beneath the skin of his palms as they continued to glide along the ice, thawing it until she could break free on her own.

Lightning didn't allow the space of a minute to pass before she wrapped her arms around him, securing his safety beside her. "She didn't hurt you this time."

He looked down at the top of Lightning's head, feeling an odd mixture of irritation and disgust take over. He'd been excited to find her, and relieved to have gotten to her in time, but…

_Didn't she tell you? She knows…_

Castea's disclosure echoed in his mind and it had him pulling away from the roseate a little harsher than he normally would have. This wasn't the time to be thinking of such things, but he couldn't help it as it leapt to the forefront of his mind. "We need to get to Sazh and Zalera." He took off, pointedly not looking down at the mess he had made of Sebastian, nor at the puzzled expression of Lightning. He couldn't think about it. Any of it.

Lightning gazed after him, bewildered by his actions, but she didn't question it. Not when there was so much still lingering between them. Glancing down, Lightning stomped her boot down on a rather large piece of Sebastian, finishing their fight with an unsatisfied huff. It was hardly a consolation, she doubted that even being shattered into many bits could kill him, but it was going to have to do for now. After one final squish of what she could only hope was something important, she ran after Hope, keeping him in her sight being her top priority once more.

* * *

"Why won't it heal?" Castea asked as she wrung her hands in her lap. She knelt before her master, her eyes pleading with his façade of a form. "Why won't it go away? The pain is gone, but the-the... It's like a-"

"Scar?"

His deep tenor rumbled around her and she flinched as if having been struck. "Why won't it heal?" Her fingers trembled as they brushed over her ruined flesh. The skin was tight and thick, knotted at her cheek and webbed up around her eye. She swallowed down her grief and looked forward, steeling her expression as best she could.

"You disobeyed me, Castea."

The anger within his voice made her insides twist with guilt, but she didn't regret her choices. She knew she was the rightful owner of the crystals and she was willing to do anything to prove it.

"You went on a mission to kill Hope Estheim. Did you think I would just allow something like that? You are powerful, but not powerful enough to wield the crystal-"

"How would you know-"

" _Silence!_ "

The burning sensation flared up and she clutched onto her face, crying out as it felt like it was on fire once again.

"Do _not_ interrupt me."

The pain settled until it was a mere whisper across her skin. She quieted her whimpers and bowed her head for him to continue, a swift apology crossing her lips.

"If we lose the boy, we lose the new world. You lose your ultimate position of power. We have nothing without him." Hs voice softened as he continued. "I care for you deeply, my child."

She could feel the ghost of a caress across the right side of her face and she leant into it, a small tear falling from her undamaged eye. Then the touch suddenly grew harsh as it gripped her cheek.

"But never forget who you're dealing with. I am in charge here, not you."

The invisible hand fell away and she fell to the floor, pained gasps leaving her. "B-b-but, sir. The..."

"Think of this as a lesson. This is your punishment. A cruel irony. You marked your husband for his betrayal so he would never forget who he belongs to. This is much the same. Now leave me."

Her wide eyes searched the stone statue of her fal'Cie, but there was nothing to find. He was indifferent to her pain. She crawled away before finally being able to lift herself up. He'd barely touched her, but she felt just as beaten and broken as if he had abused her in the cruelest of ways. She lingered in the doorway, her gaze looking out into the empty space. Gray eyes were soft with a desperate plea for him to reconsider.

"I said to leave me. _Now_."

And so she did.

* * *

The battle was over by the time they reached the two missing pieces of their team. Lightning and Hope found Zalera and Sazh in the same room they'd been in before, both exhausted as they remained hunched over, panting and covered in sweat.

"What happened?" asked Hope as he stood over the tall woman and put a reassuring hand on her back. Her breathing was harsh, but he could sense no deep injuries. Her chakram fell from her hand as he was alerted to her palm's very raw state. Her hand had been burned badly in the scuffle, it seemed. He took it into his own hands, soon healing over the blistered and scabbed skin. The look of it reminded him a little too much of Castea's face. He refocused his gaze on the woman in front of him.

Zalera caught her breath as she gave Hope an appreciative nod for his healing. "Castea's little followers happened. They just kept coming until they finally disappeared." Wiping the sweat from her brow with the back of her unoccupied hand, she made a disgruntled noise in the back of her throat. "I'm getting sick and tired of fighting phantom enemies."

"You alright over there?" Lightning knelt down, her eyes glimpsing over Sazh's body to check for wounds.

"All clear here," he reported, dazed on his feet. "Got lucky this time."

"What about you two?"

Hope looked up into concerned green orbs, unsure of what to say. He settled for shaking his head at her, hoping she'd let it lie. She didn't.

"Don't give me that crap. What did she do this time? You still have the crystal, right?"

Hope groaned in irritation as he finished up sewing her skin back together. He gave her a look, but it did nothing in the face of her determination. "Of course I still have the crystal. And she didn't _do_ anything… I'm fine."

"You don't sound so sure of that," Lightning stated from his left.

Hope's face flushed with anger. _What? You think_ I'm _lying, Lightning? Me? That's rich._ But he said nothing, giving a half-hearted shrug instead.

Sazh took up the silence. "So we got the crystal. What now?"

Lightning didn't like it. Hope wouldn't look at her and it was obvious that something Castea had done had affected him. Tendrils of worry writhed under her skin, but there didn't seem to be much she could do about it. She didn't even know where to start. She was still reeling from the remaining emotions of their fight. Now she had to fret about not only that, but the crystal that had had some seriously negative effects on Hope's body, and Castea who was still a hovering threat. "We head to the next one." Her tone was even more lifeless than usual.

"Are…" Zalera faltered with her words, annoyed by her own uncertainty. "Are we sure about this? The path we're heading down… there will only be more of this waiting for us." Her eyes were fixed on Hope and Lightning, the two having taken the heaviest hits.

"What choice do we really have?" asked Lightning.

Sazh holstered his weapons, finally feeling it safe to do so. "There's always a choice. But we've made ours. We're on this path. Let's see it through to the end."

"We should get going." Sazh's words should have been inspiring. They should have made him feel invigorated by the idea of his freedom to choose. As if he could really take another path. As if he wasn't bound to walk the one fate had chosen for him "I want to put some distance between us and this place."

* * *

Castea looked back at her reflection in horror. She quickly covered her mouth, her eyes falling away as she could no longer stomach the sight. Her beautiful face was gone, covered in disgusting, disfigured skin. Absent was her right eyebrow, the eyelid beneath it left with limited movement and an involuntary twitch. The right corner of her mouth was even permanently twisted into the gnarled skin of her cheek. She now looked every bit the monster she claimed to be.

A cruel irony, indeed.

But her repulsive appearance wasn't what had her so thoroughly devastated. She could barely breathe as she thought back to her master's words. _"You disobeyed me, Castea."_ She clenched her teeth as she shook with rage. _"This is your punishment."_ His betrayal stung deep, filling her veins with a poison that sunk into the depths of her heart.

"You'll get wrinkles if you keep that up, Hun."

Castea's eyes widened at the gentle, melodious voice of the woman she knew well. Her heart pounded harshly in her ears as she turned, unable to believe her eyes. " _Cecily_...?" Her name came out in a gasp. She could hardly make out her form as her eyes blurred with tears, but there was no mistake.

"Hi, Sis."


	28. Reminiscence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Origin story time! So, I've been getting a lot of inquiries on Castea's background and past with a lot of people wanting to know how she became evil or what motivates her to do these horrible things to Hope and company. Therefore the next two chapters are all about Castea's history. I have made them completely skippable for those of you that don't care to read any of it. Chapter 30 should be up within the next two weeks (I emphasize the word should) which gets right back to our main gang.
> 
> For those of you that do read this, I hope you enjoy and comment :)

_The light breeze drifted through her snow white tresses, causing the strands to dance in the wind. Her radiant smile shown in the sunlight along with her glimmering grey irises and glowing skin, reflecting her innocence and youth. The girl of fourteen years stood proudly before her audience of two, her posture regal as a crown of thornberry sat perched atop her head._

_"All hail her royal majesty, Lady Mythnea Vil Castea!" announced one of the grand audience members before her. The young boy grinned toothily as the girl bowed in response. The thirteen year old began clapping eagerly as a small girl beside him gave a loud cheer._

_"Go, sissy!" she yelled, her excitement echoing around the fields surrounding them._

_The princess giggled before shaking her head at the two, a light blush staining her skin. "Oh, Cecily, I don't think that will do at my actual crowning ceremony. We have to be very formal as the proud royal family," she stated in a matter-of-fact tone. She then turned to her friend, giving him a wink. "Your announcement was perfect, Sebastian. I think I'll make you my royal herald."_

_Sebastian laughed. "Really?"_

_"Of course." She walked up to him and brushed his unruly auburn bangs from his eyes, assuring eye contact. "Are you doubting your future queen?"_

_"I would never."_

_"Good. Now, get up. Both of you. Enough of this." She extended her hand to the young boy, yanking him up from his place in the dry grass. Then reaching for her sister, she brought Cecily up and gave her a hug. "I will not be queen for many, many years. Father's going to be around for eons, right, sis?"_

_Cecily's smile grew as she latched onto her elder sister's hand. "Yup."_

_Castea then began to climb the tree they had gathered beneath. It was their favorite spot, out in the fields nearby Sebastian's family's land. They felt themselves at peace there. Their own little area to do what they wanted. The girl climbed and climbed up into the large tree, having little difficulty despite the gown she was wearing._

_Sebastian climbed up after her, Cecily hanging on his back. With one final yank up by Castea, they all sat in the confines of their precious tree. Their own little castle, they called it. It had just been Castea and Sebastian's until Cecily had been old enough to tag along with her sister._

_They let the quiet air lay around them, Castea laying on a large branch with Cecily cuddled up in her lap and Sebastian on a neighboring branch beside her. "She fell asleep," Castea whispered after a good deal of time passed. The eldest princess tucked a piece of golden hair behind her sister's ear and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead. Castea never really minded when Cecily would want to play with her and Sebastian. She adored her baby sister and since their mother had passed during Cecily's birth, she was usually left in Castea's care seeing as their father had a kingdom to run._

_Sebastian gave the two a look of fondness. His eyes wandered over Castea's form, admiring her beauty. A grim smile took his features as he thought of the coming arrival of a certain prince. "I don't want him to come."_

_Castea knew of whom he was speaking and rose a delicate brow, but otherwise did not reply. She was unsure of how she would handle the coming days of the prince's visit. She grabbed Sebastian's hand, trying to cheer him up with an assuring smile, but his eyes wouldn't meet hers._

_"Things will change once Arturia's second son arrives." Everything was changing already. He hardly got to spend any time with Castea anymore. She was becoming a lady and learning to be a proper princess in order to become a proper queen when the time arrived, or so he was told. In truth, he wished Castea hadn't been born of the royal family. He knew she was going to be a fine ruler one day, but her status only separated them. "Do you want to marry him?"_

_A pondering hum came from the fair blonde as she considered his question. She'd known almost her whole life who she was going to marry. What she wanted wasn't a factor. "I've never really been asked that before..." Sebastian's hand squeezed hers in a reassuring gesture. "I have met him only a handful of times. He was always polite and kind. Other than that, I'm not sure what I think of him or whether I want to marry him."_

_Sebastian nodded, only somewhat satisfied with the answer. "Well, come on, your highness. It's nearly time for supper and we wouldn't want the entire kingdom to send out a search party."_

_Castea rolled her eyes and thumped him on the head. "Call me by my name, Sebastian. We're best friends, after all."_

* * *

 

 "Cecily," Castea gasped again, her voice taking on a tenor of intense trepidation. "You can't be here. You can't… You're-"

"And why ever not?" Cecily cocked her head to the side, a bright smile lightning up her face. Castea knew it too well. "It's been so long, my dear sister. Haven't you missed me?"

Shaking her head, Castea backed away from the woman before her. Fear lit up her gaze before it sparked into a familiar anger. "Why are you here? What do you want from me?!"

"What do I want from you…? You're the one who sent for me."

Castea's brows furrowed, but she didn't dare respond.

"You needed to remember, didn't you? Remember everything that made you who you are now." Cecily walked forward, her light blue gown and golden curls bouncing with every step. For every step she took, Castea took a step back, her limbs shaking with emotions she'd long ago thought she'd lost. "That's what I'm here for. To help you remember." Castea's back hit the wall, but Cecily kept coming forward until they were but three feet from each other. She lifted her hand, moving it as if to caress her cheek, but stopped just shy of the action. "So remember."

* * *

 

_She couldn't stop fussing with her appearance. She'd been standing in front of the mirror for the better part of an hour. She had already changed gowns three times, tried on four different pairs of gloves before deciding to rid herself of them entirely, and had readjusted the bow around her abdomen until it was creased with disappointment._

_By the time she made it to her jewelry she was an indecisive mess. Her hand hovered over the selection before her, but by the time she managed to make a decision, another necklace caught her eye._ Why is this so hard? I've never had a problem dressing myself before? _She huffed and was ready to just hide under her bedclothes until dawn when a soft knock drew her attention. "Yes?"_

_Her father stepped in, his eyes kind with a knowing gleam in their depths. "The prince has arrived."_

_Castea gave a whine and threw herself down on her bed, her body bouncing on the plush comforter. "Oh, father, I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like I've completely lost the ability to dress myself. Maybe I'm ill? If I'm ill do I still have to attend, father?"_

_The man gave a warm laugh. "It's just nerves, darling. It's a good sign."_

_"And how, pray tell, can my incompetence possibly be a good sign?" She watched her father shut the door behind himself as he settled against the wall._

_Mythnea Vil Epsian was a wise man who ruled his kingdom with firm, but fair principles. He wasn't a large man, but for what he lacked in stature, he made up for with trained strength and honed skill. He had always shown great strength in times of conflict, but he was known for his kindness to all, no matter their rank. Beneath his own roof, though, he showed a gentleness no one but his two daughters and his late wife had ever seen. He may have been the ruler of one of the grandest kingdoms on Pulse, but his family was what he lived for._

" _It means that you're beginning to care what the young prince thinks of you."_

_Castea's face scrunched up as she sat propped up on her elbows. "But I never cared before…" She'd always felt very indifferent to the prince's presence. Her eventual marriage to him had always seemed so far away, and she'd never really cared to get to know the boy. Their age difference hardly helped. He always treated her like a child. But now…_

" _Your union is coming, Castea. It's best you two get close before you have to join together. The fact that you are already feeling nervous at meeting with him again is more than I could have hoped for."_

" _If you say so. Can you at least help me pick out a neck piece? I have no idea which one suits me."_

" _They all suit you perfectly."_

"Dad _," she groaned._

" _Right." He gave a sigh, his eyes perusing the contents of her jewelry. "It's times like these that I do so wish your mother was still around to counsel you."_

_Castea stayed quiet for a moment, watching her father and the gloom that had befallen the usually cheery man. "Do you think mother would have approved of him now?"_

_"Oh yes, dear. She would have adored him. He'll do right by you, I shall see to that." He turned with his pick in hand before placing it around Castea's neck. "Rubies always suited you well."_

_Castea glanced up at herself in the mirror, watching as her father placed a steady hand on her shoulder. It was warm and strong and easily gave her the confidence to finally go down to meet with her betrothed._

_They were to have dinner out on the terrace. It was a lovely setting. The servants and the gardeners had done a wonderful job of setting it all up for them. The food was delicious, prepared well by one of their finest chefs. Everything was quite perfect, if she could get herself to speak, of course._

_She peeked at him from beneath her long bangs as he ate quietly, his eyes staring out wistfully across the terrace. She'd always thought Barsilisk to be plain in appearance, but it was odd how time had changed her opinion of him. His features just seemed all the more striking, his dark hair and eyes giving him a mysterious allure she'd never considered. His growth had done him well, it seemed, as he had developed into a very handsome man._

_This only made her more self-conscious of her own appearance as she fidgeted in her chair. She had to mentally scold herself for the action._ Ladies don't squirm. _She'd had that drilled into her head enough times during her lessons growing up._

_"The stars are quite beautiful tonight, aren't they?"_

_Caught off guard by the abrupt question, Castea quickly grew flustered. "A-as always, your highness."_

_Chuckling lowly, the seventeen-year old turned to face her fully. "There's no need for the title, darling. We are of the same station, are we not? Besides, we are due to be wed soon. I think that calls for some familiarity."_

_"I suppose, Barsilisk."_

_"Much better." His eyes sparkled with amusement as he gently took her hand and brought it to his lips, brushing them lightly over her fingers. "I must say you have grown into a fine young woman since we last shared a meal. I can't imagine you becoming any more stunning. The next couple of years will give you some more time to grow into those ears, though."_

_She instantly drew her hand back, quickly covering her ears with the front strands of her hair as shame rose to her cheeks. "I apologize. I-I usually keep them hidden…"_

_"It's nothing to be too ashamed of. As I said, you'll grow into them, I'm sure. My brother, however," his tone darkened as he glanced back out into the night, "those fish lips of his will always remain." He laughed, but it was a bitter sound, harsh in his throat. "Serves him right. First born, arrogant waste."_

_"You don't like your brother?" It wasn't a serious question, his dislike for his brother was obvious, and she could guess why. She knew many were envious of the kingdoms' first borns, including their very siblings. A first born to a king and queen was always chosen as the successor for the throne. Any following children could only lead if they married the first born of another kingdom, or if anything happened to the eldest sibling, though that didn't occur often._

_Barsilisk was the second son of Arturia. By birth, he could not inherit the crown and would instead watch his brother take over his kingdom. She could understand some resentment for that, but Barsilisk still got to rule. He would be marrying her. He would be king of Mythnea. Didn't that make him any happier?_

_His eyes flicked over to her, the slightest amount of loathing etched into the rims of his midnight irises, before it instantly warmed and he let out a light laugh. "He is of no concern. Let's not talk of such matters." He drew in a breath, the new air seeming to calm him some. "Your father just announced your sister's betrothal, if I'm not mistaken. She'll be marrying into the fourth kingdom."_

_"Your ears have not betrayed you," Castea replied as she regained her bearings bit by bit. "She is due to marry their third son."_

_"Ah, I have met Erevet. He is a good kid. Much too meek to lead, but I suppose that won't be a problem for either of them." Castea deflated at his words, which didn't go unnoticed by him. "This troubles you?"_

_"No, no. I'm glad. I fear such a task as ruling a kingdom would tire my sister. Her spirit doesn't belong on a throne."_

_"But yours does?"_

_A small fire ignited within her gaze as she detected the challenge within his question. She sat up, squaring her shoulders with the utmost confidence. "I am Mythnea Vil Castea, the first child of Mythnea Vil Epsian and Falto Ryn Montronae, and the next ruler of this kingdom. Do not question my loyalty nor my commitment here. When the time comes, I will inherit what is rightfully mine. Will you?"_

_His lips drew into a frown as he sat back, crossing his legs as he leant his jaw down to rest within the palm of his hand. "Interesting. Insulting your betrothed? That is hardly nice."_

_Her eyes widened and she ducked her head down, embarrassed at her outburst. "I didn't mean to offend you, I was just…" He waved her off, but she could tell by the stiffness of his limbs that he still wasn't pleased with her. She mentally berated herself for her actions. He had been nothing but a gentlemen to her all night and here she was spitting in his face. Why did she always let her mouth ruin things?_

_"Why don't we have a walk around the terrace? I hear it is lovely here during the harvest..."_

* * *

_"But I don't agree with your decision. We need this treaty, Barsilisk. It's the only way we'll be able to make peace with the people of Cortone and the rest of the Nazreal nations." Castea stopped as Barsilisk spun around so fast that his tail of hair smacked against his back like the crack of a whip._

_"A king handles matters, not a queen." His voice was low, but the threatening tones threaded through it captured Castea's attention all the same. He smirked as she shrunk back minutely. "I do not require nor desire your presence, but the king insists his daughter take chair. What a foolish man."_

_Castea felt her insides burn at his words, but she knew better by now to keep her tongue dull. Her husband didn't appreciate her back talk any more than he did her insights. She'd learned over the past couple years that she wasn't to spurn his pride with any of her 'womanly nonsense', but this was_ her _kingdom, as well. She couldn't allow Barsilisk to ruin relations with any of the other kingdoms or nations. She had to speak, if only to stand for her people. She was used to stepping back to allow Barsilisk to take charge, but this was too much. "You are not a king, yet. And I won't allow this. You are wrong, Barsilisk. I will share my thoughts with the council. I have a duty to uphold, just as you do."_

 _Frighteningly cold eyes glowered down at her. "You_ will _stay silent. You are there to support me, that is all." His hand wrapped around her upper arm, his hold tightening uncomfortably with his next words. "You will respect my wishes or so help me-"_

_The council room doors opened and Barsilisk instantly ripped his hand away as the king and his most trusted advisors came into view. They all sat around the conference table, attentive eyes glancing towards the two newcomers._

_"Took you both long enough. I feared the trees would relinquish their leaves before you were to grace us with your presence."_

_"Oh, let them be, Lasseter," spoke her father. "Come, join us. We were just about to get into the thick of the discussion." The king gestured with an open palm to the last two seats beside him._

_Barsilisk bowed and joined him at his right as Castea gave a quick curtsey, soon following behind. Barsilisk was practically beaming as he took the seat right beside the king, just as he did at every council. His happiness wasn't surprising; it was an honorable spot. The king's right and left chairs were reserved for the most trusted advisors at the table. She could understand the pride that came with such privilege. She sat beside her husband, a gracious smile curving her lips even as tendrils of envy traced her heart._

_The king cleared his throat, smiling lightly at his daughter before speaking. "Now that we are all here, I think it would be wise to flesh out everyone's opinion of the treaty that's been waiting in the wings. The Nazreal have been kind enough to give us until the end of the harvest to reach an agreement on our answer."_

_Lasseter, Castea's father's left hand advisor, huffed in obvious displeasure. "I think it's ludicrous. Why should we have to sign a formal trade agreement simply because the Cortone tribe has changed heads? Those barbarians should know their place."_

_Another advisor, the second youngest of their group and the most idealistic of them all, Jordane, spoke up in response. "Barbarians? They live in less luxury and you see fit to call them barbarians? You speak ill of people you don't understand."_

_"And you understand them so much more, eh? When was the last time you served them a visit? You've never met them. How can you so easily refute my claim?"_

_Before Jordane could speak in protest, Holsted stood up from the opposite end of the table. "Neither of you know what you are talking about. As the head of our trade commission, I have met and spoken with those of the Nations many times. They are far more intelligent and worthy of our time than Lasseter gives them credit for. Even so, I have yet to form an opinion on this treaty."_

_The rest at the table kept talking. Castea's eyes widened as she took in the men's words, most in complete opposition towards any sort of formal deal being made with those that were considered beneath them. Was she really the only one that thought well of the agreement?_

_"Barsilisk," the king turned his eyes over to the prince, "what are your thoughts on this matter?"_

_"Their social status aside," the dark haired man began, "I do not believe that a treaty with any of the Nazreal is necessary, and certainly not the demands they have listed within it. We shouldn't have to expand our trade routes or provide more incentives for their men to fight for us. No, certainly not. If we even entertain such notions, just imagine what the other nations will think? Will they be changing our current agreements in order to make such outlandish demands? I also vote to reject the treaty."_

_The king hummed as he rested his chin against the palm of his hand. His amber eyes flickered from his new son to his daughter. "And you, Castea."_

_The blonde's head snapped up, her wide eyes meeting her father's inquisitive gaze. She opened her mouth to speak only to instantly snap it back shut. What was she to say? Was she to play her part as the supportive wife as she had always been taught, or was she to speak her mind as the queen of Mythnea? As the ruler she was born to be? "I think-" A forceful hand squeezing her knee halted her words._

_"I think Castea agrees with the majority rule. Right, dear? You said so in the hall, yes?"_

_A coldness nestled within her chest as she looked towards her husband. The man's eyes were lit with an oppressive fire, silently urging her to share his opinion. When she kept silent, his grip tightened on her leg until it was almost painful._

_"Right, Castea?"_

_A silent battle went on in her mind in those moments as midnight irises bore into troubled gray._ Am I a queen or a wife? Am I not both? But if I speak…

" _Castea?" her father inquired._

_In the end, she chose to ignore his attempts at coercion. The whole of Mythnea was more important than avoiding a small domestic quarrel. "Actually, I believe that such a treaty would help our kingdom, rather than hinder it."_

_Barsilisk's expression reflected his shock at her proclamation. "Cas-"_

_"I see.." The king gave her his full attention as he placed his chin upon steepled fingers. "And what is your reasoning?"_

_She pushed Barsilisk's hand, now limp in his stun, from her lap as she stood, soon coming around the table to stand beside her father. Turning, she met the eyes of his council, addressing the table with firm resolution._

* * *

 

  _"_ _I'd say, my dear, you were incredibly impressive up there. You are a queen already."_

_Castea flushed at the compliment from the large man before her. "Oh, Holsted, I just said what I thought, is all. There is nothing to be impressed by, least of all my meager knowledge of your trade." But even as she said that she couldn't help but feel proud of herself. She'd managed, with the help of a few of the more reserved council members, to sway the tide into agreeing to the treaty. They had yet to set the terms and articles of the agreement, but that was a hurdle for a different day. For now, she could be satisfied with the outcome of the first time she stood up like the queen she would be._

_"Wondrous words, Castea!" exclaimed the king as he strode up to her side. The rest of the council chambers had cleared out, leaving the two of them alone. "Simply marvelous. I thought I was going to have to undergo the task of taking them all on by myself, but you took over and I hardly had to say a word."_

_"I am sure you would have said it with much more eloquence and authority, father. I hope I didn't wander over too many toes."_

_"Nonsense! My council loves you, and you nearly managed to persuade them all. The rest will lick their wounds in due time."_

_The two continued talking as they made their way out of the room and through the halls. After some time, the king stopped, features pensive. Castea halted her steps as she noticed his contemplation. "What is it, father?"_

_"I would like to ask something of you. I know it would be breaking tradition, but I cannot see a way around it." Taking a breath, Lord Epsian smiled down at his daughter, putting his hands on her shoulders and gripping them gently. "Barsilisk is a smart man, but he is still learning to lead. I think you should take his place by my side at the table, for now."_

_She gaped as she took in his words, unable to believe her ears. It had been her dream for so many years to sit beside her father, to council him during his most important decisions, to be one of his most trusted, and to learn directly from his side. She couldn't believe her father was allowing her such a privilege. She couldn't even speak._

_"In the future you will have to guide him. Take charge. Pulse knows where we would all be if I hadn't had your mother at my side in the beginning of my rule." Her father pulled her in for a hug and in her shock she nearly forgot to reciprocate the embrace. When they pulled apart, they were interrupted, one of the king's advisors requiring his attention. He gave her a broad smile before heading off._

_Castea turned away, her father's smile reflected on her lips as she felt as if she were higher than the clouds. That is, until she turned the corner. Her feet slid to an abrupt halt as her eyes met that all-too-familiar and all-too-furious midnight gaze._

* * *

 

 

_Barsilisk's anger was always strong and swift. In merely seconds she would be on the floor, pleading with him to stop. His eyes were cold and cruel, and no matter how much she begged, he wouldn't stop until his frustrations had been released upon her._

_As per his instructions, she made herself small. She didn't speak at the table unless she was spoken to, her replies meek and always in agreement with her husband. The marks and bruises laid hidden beneath long sleeves and silk skirts. He never struck her face, as committed to their secret as she was. She didn't say anything, despite the desire to run to her father whispering in the back of her mind._

_He would only be disappointed in her, and she wouldn't dare disappoint her father. Cecily was her next choice, but she was too young, too innocent. And as her protector, the last thing she wanted was to get her little sister involved. So she chose to go to someone else, the last person she could trust. She could find solace in his presence, in that little barn on that small farm on the outskirts of their kingdom._

_It still smelled of that same blend of hay and pine as she stepped through the heavy doors. The rays of bright sunlight shone through the rafters, the only light to speak of in the quiet space. Castea stared up at the rafters and could almost hear their laughter ringing down from above, as if they were still children, still wild and free. She'd received many splinters and cuts playing above the barn floor, but she never regretted any injuries she sustained with her best friend. Her time with him was much too valuable to regret._

_The sharp thwack of an axe cutting into wood turned her attention to the back of the barn and she made her way further in. Sebastian's large form was turned away from her, his axe poised to strike its prey once more. She watched him from a distance, thinking back to the days when she thought she needed nothing else. Just that young boy and the creaky, old barn._

_As the warm sunlight glimmered across her face, she let her eyelids flutter shut and succumbed to the feeling of safety and security. She sank into her mind as she allowed her thoughts to wander through scenarios and daydreams, through secret wishes and desires. She thought of stolen kisses and twilight meetings. Of hushed confessions and feelings turning into memories. Of a bond built on love, not on royal match making._

_But such silly thoughts should never be allowed to remain._

_"Castea?"_

_She opened her eyes to find Sebastian before her, wiping the sweat from his confused brow with an old cloth. The axe now laid silent against the wall._

_"What are you doing here?"_

_"I just came for a visit." She didn't miss the flicker of agitation that crossed his face. "Is this a bad time?"_

_"Actually, it is…"_

_"Something the matter…?" His gaze fell away from her, but she saw the hollow sadness lingering within his sage irises. "Is it your father? Is the farm okay?" He didn't speak, but he didn't have to. Her eyes travelled along the distance he purposefully kept between them. "It's me, is it not? You don't want me here." He still failed to answer her, though his muscles tensed in response to her statement. She gasped as she recognized his tell. "Why are you pushing me away?"_

_"I can't do this." He went to walk past her, but she stepped in his way. Putting a firm hand on his broad chest, she met his uncertain gaze._

_"Is it why you didn't come to my wedding?"_

_He scoffed, but didn't deny it. Instead he just looked down at her, as if the answer was obvious._

_She quickly pulled her hand away, protecting it against her chest. Her eyes flickered with a realization that hurt more than any physical blow Barsilisk could have ever inflicted; Sebastian was pulling away from her. It only dawned on her then, though she should have known. She should have seen it. He'd been distancing himself from her for quite a while. He'd stopped visiting, and every time she visited him, he was either gone or too preoccupied to see her. She'd thought that it was just him becoming busier as his responsibilities with the farm grew, but now she could see that he was actively avoiding her._

_"I couldn't," he said, voice strained. "I just couldn't go."_

_The day of her union was supposed to have been one of her happiest, but it wasn't. Even with her beloved father and sister there to support her, all she could think of was that lone spot that sat silent and empty. "Out of everyone, I wanted you there. You were supposed to be there!" she yelled as her eyes watered. "You're always supposed to be there."_

_"I'm sorry-"_

_She shook off his apology. This wasn't why she came. "I wanted to talk to you." Her bruises ached beneath her clothing, demanding attention. She wondered if Sebastian could see them, all of her wounds, her pain and sorrow. The old Sebastian always could. "I trust you-"_

_"I'm getting married."_

_Her first tear fell swiftly down her cheek before she could stop it. She tried to keep her face still and the devastation from becoming visible, though there was a slight shake to her limbs that she couldn't control. She watched as he ran a frustrated hand through his messy strands, fingers ripping through curly, auburn locks. He looked back at her stock still form and tried to reach out to her, but she stepped back out of his reach. She didn't want his comfort. Not then. Not when he was so keen on ripping out her heart._

_"She's a teacher down in the village," he said, expression withdrawn, but his tone fond. "All of her students love her and the villagers all think highly of her. Giselle and I met at the last…" He trailed off as Castea spun herself around, the woman unable to look at him any longer. "Ma thinks she'll be good for the family and the farm. I'll be taking over sooner than we thought, since Pa took ill last winter. Giselle, she… I'll be lucky to have her."_

_Castea clenched her eyes shut and tried to will it all away. Maybe if she wished hard enough she could go back to the simple days. Back to when responsibility and duty were just words that had yet to have meaning. Back to when their eventual unions were just a formality in the face of their close bond._

_"I can't do this," he repeated, determined even as she could hear the hesitation in his voice. "Whatever 'this' is."_

_"We're friends, Sebastian. Always."_

_"No, we're not." Castea choked on an audible sob, but he kept going. "You should leave. And never come back."_

_She ran from the barn, nearly tripping on her skirts in her haste to retreat. She didn't dare look back, not wanting to see his expression. The one of affection for his new bride, nor the one of disdain for her. She got that look enough from her husband. Instead she kept running with no real destination in mind. Her feet worked beneath her, carrying her off into a forest several miles away._

_She finally stopped at a small pond and came down to her knees. She could hear her own quick, heavy breaths, but she could hardly feel anything past the devastation tearing at her heart. The thick forest howled and croaked and whistled around her, the night alight with life. Shards of the moon's light shone down through the trees, the water glistening a brilliant white. She stared down at the water, a lost look in her eyes as she tried to comprehend Sebastian's words._

_He was resigning from their friendship. The one friend she valued, the one friend she'd always had, was leaving her. Or maybe she'd left him long ago… But what could she have done differently? She had a duty to her lineage, her kingdom, and her husband. She was bound by her royal heritage, a fate she had never thought to curse until the day she stood on that alter._

_"The water shines like your hair."_

_Castea jolted in a reflex of panic, whipping her head around to face the newcomer. There stood an old man, face weathered by a long life and hair just as dirty and unruly as the cloth that hung from his bony frame. His expression was calm, smile kind as he leant against a long wooden staff._

_"I didn't mean to startle you, child."_

_Letting out a small chuckle, she shook her head and wiped her eyes, relaxing back into the ground as she determined that he was no threat. "No, I apologize. I just failed to hear a tell of your approach, is all."_

_"When you make home of a place such as this, it is wise to keep your steps to yourself."_

_"You live here?"_

_"For now, yes."_

_Castea's eyes widened and she quickly stood from her spot. "I am sorry for treading on your land uninvited," she said, bowing in apology._

_The man clicked his tongue as he brought two fingers beneath her chin and gently urged her head back up. "Do not be sorry, young one. This land belongs only to our maker. We are all trespassers here." She straitened up and he gave a nod of approval. "Now, what has brought you out to these old woods?"_

_Her eyes misted over as memories of the day came back to her in an unwelcome flood. "I just… needed to get away." She held herself, fingers tangled in her silken sleeves as she looked back out into the water._

_"Away from what? Or is it whom?" The woman winced, and he made a small hum in acknowledgement. "Well, take all the time you need. For a stunning woman such as yourself, I'm sure the world will wait for you to return." The man began to step away to allow her privacy, but stopped as she seized the flimsy cloth at his shoulder._

_"Will you just… stay a minute? I will leave soon. I have to, but… Can you just stay here for now? Please?"_

_Her words were hushed, her tone as fragile as that of a lost child. He could only smile in response and sat beside her in front of the pond. "As long as you like."_

_When she made it back to town, she was met with disorder and pandemonium. The people were in a frenzy as horns were being blown by the men in every guard tower around the kingdom. The warning blew the town into chaos and Castea was sure that they were either on the brink of war or a disaster of mother nature's bidding was on the horizon._

_It turned out to be neither._

_"Castea! Oh, gods, Castea, the entire castle has been searching for you."_

_The princess turned to meet the frantic gaze of the head servant of the castle. Marguerite was adorned in her night clothes, her curly brunette hair wild and her eyes brimming with exhaustion even in her panic, as if she had just been woken from deep sleep. She stumbled down the steps and brought Castea into a tight hug. "I was afraid we'd lost you. No one could find you and-"_

_"What is going on?" Castea pulled away, bewildered. She knew Marguerite cared a great deal for her, she had been like another mother to her after her own had passed and she felt much love for the woman in return, but to put the whole town into such a tizzy because she'd left for the night? That had never happened before. "Is all of this about me? I've left the castle unannounced to go to town many times before. Why this now?"_

_Sadness suddenly clouded the older woman's face. "Castea, there is… Something has happened."_

_The remorse and regret coloring Marguerite's gaze made Castea freeze up as her stomach knotted. She shook her head and pushed the woman away, though there was little strength behind the action. "No, not today. I can't- Please, nothing more today."_

_Marguerite swallowed heavily, dragging the girl back into her bosom as she wrapped her arms protectively around her. "We must get you to safety, Castea." The woman gripped her tightly as she fought her own tears. "The king has fallen."_

* * *

 

_She knew. The second she saw his face, the perverted glee in his eyes, she knew who killed her father._

_The crowning ceremony took place only three days after they'd sent her father's body out to sea. She was still deeply in mourning, but a dignified smile remained in place as she looked out to her people. Her sister, who she had hoped to latch onto in this moment, was absent. She had locked herself in her room with only Marguerite to keep her company as she wept into her bed skirts. Castea stood there alone beside her husband, keeping her thoughts away from her father's death, from Sebastian's once again empty space. From her husband's betrayal._

_It had been announced that Lasseter, her father's right hand advisor, had slain the king. His dagger, engraved with his initials, had been left in her father's chest and the portly man had absconded in the night. No one had seen hide nor hair of him since the morning prior to the murder. No one knew why he would have done it. The consensus was that it had been due to differing opinions and an argument that had gotten out of hand. It was true that the two had been arguing more often as of late. Lasseter was not fond of the treaty, nor many of the king's newest policies, but Castea knew it was all a sham._

_He was loyal to her father. More so than anyone she had known. It hurt to see his good name be tarnished so her husband could go unsuspected. But it did not hurt nearly as much as the fact that she could do nothing about it. She could not clear Lasseter's good name. She could not seek justice for her father's death. For when she met Barsilisk's gaze, all she could see now was the blatant challenge in his eyes. She knew, and he knew she knew. But they also both knew what would happen if she spoke. If she chose to betray their union, he would not hesitate to kill her, too._

_Festivities went on around her. Smiling faces danced to the music that rang out to celebrate the momentous occasion of the crowning of the new King and Queen. Castea could only watch as a silent fury boiled beneath her skin. An anger sank its poison deep into her veins and all she could see were traitors. Blind, ignorant fools celebrating a murderer. Didn't they know? Couldn't they see? Her hands balled up into tight fists as they all laughed. She hated them, every single one of them. Most of all, she hated him. He who had taken her sweet father from her. He who would reap the most rewards from his death. He who would pay._

_Castea gasped as she loosened her fists. Her form trembled in the wake of such thoughts._ How could I… I would never… _She looked out into the sea of people, saw her husband's cheery face amongst all of his newly appointed advisors, and had to get out._

_Again she ran from it all as she fought the urge to vomit. Castea ran out into the town, past all of the townspeople and their homes until she reached the outskirts. She had almost made it into the forest when she tripped on the lining of her dress. She braced herself for the fall, though it never came. Instead she fell into the arms of a familiar man._

_"Nice to see you again, my dear."_

_Castea gave a watery smile before falling completely into the arms of the old man, crying into his robes. "It's you. Oh, thank goodness. It's you."_

_It took quite a bit of comforting, but as the moon made its way across the sky, he managed to calm her._

_"I have never felt so angry before. I just-" She stared down at her palms, wondering how such rage could have gripped her heart so easily. "I just want him to pay for what he has done. He cannot be allowed to murder my father and get away with it!" she shouted, a cold fury slipping back into every word._

_"So why not just kill him?"_

_Her eyes widened as she glanced back at the elder of the two, her brows creased in disbelief._

_"Kill him before he can kill you."_

_"But I-"_

_"You can't, can you?" There was a touch of disappointment in his voice, but there was an odd note of acceptance accompanying it, too. "You fear that anger you feel. You fear what it might make you do."_

_She looked back down at her hands and watched as they shook. "I could never take a life. Especially not my own husband's. No matter what he has done, I-" She bit her lip, fighting back the words that were too hard to say. "But I can never forgive him. I fear I will harbor these feelings of ill will until I die."_

_"Then let those feelings drive you." The old man stood up from his spot on an old stump and came to grasp Castea's shoulders. "Do not fear such anger, such rage. Embrace it. Let that be what drives you towards your own happiness."_

_She let the weight of his hands ground her. It was comforting. His touch, that reminded her so much of her father's, put her at ease when nothing else could. "But I fear I will not last. What if he decides that I am just another obstacle? That I need to be cast away just as easily?"_

_"You have worth, my dear. He cannot toss you aside. Not yet. I may not know much of your royal customs, but he needs an heir, does he not? And one of royal blood, I assume."_

_She nodded, though that didn't make her feel much better. He would keep her around, but only so she could bear him a new ruler._

_"You just need to endure. Endure, Castea, and let your feelings grow until you can one day reclaim what you have lost and strive for so much more."_

_She sniffed before looking back up into his eyes. They glimmered brilliantly with a passion so foreign to her, and she desired to share such conviction. "How do you know? How can it be so simple as to just keep moving forward? How can you be so certain?"_

_"Because I was just like you" he replied as he planted a soft kiss upon her forehead. He pulled back as he cupped her face, staring into it as pain clouded his gaze. "Lost, abandoned by the only beings I ever cared for. Trust me, Castea. Your day will come. The day when you will learn of the true power you hold within."_

_The man held out his palm as a dazzling white light shone out from his skin. Castea stared into it and could see herself within it. Held within that vivid glow were all of her aspirations turned reality, a peaceful kingdom, a glowing family, a smile that never wilted. Everything she'd ever dreamt about was right in front of her. She just had to endure._

_"You do trust me, don't you?" he asked as the light faded away._

_"Yes. I trust you, Belphegor."_

* * *

 

  _She sat in her chair by the window, her gaze lazily watching the townsfolk go about their work. Marguerite stood behind her, brushing her long white hair out in slow strokes. It was a warm day as the summer sun streamed in from outside. In the cozy heat, Castea felt at peace._

_Loud laughter pulled her out of her haze. She stared down at the commotion, watching as her husband strode away from the castle walls. He was arm and arm with another woman. Just another random girl she couldn't identify. Marguerite scoffed behind her._

_"Off with his latest courtesan, I see."_

_"Watch your tongue, Marguerite. You mustn't let anyone hear you speak so lowly of him."_

_The brunette snorted. "I do not fear that man." She watched the two with scorn in her eyes until she could no longer stomach the sight. "How can you stand to watch as he makes light of your bed?"_

_"He makes it very easy," Castea said as she slipped her sleeve down to cover more of her arm._

_Marguerite watched the action, noting how it slid over her most recent bruise so quietly. She reached down and gently patted her wrist, letting the woman know that she wasn't alone in her pain. Marguerite knew, and she wasn't abandoning her. Castea gave her a small, placating smile. She turned her attention back to the queen's hair as she attempted to free herself of those thoughts. "You have the most gorgeous locks, Castea. How I wish I had been graced with such fair hair. Instead of this frazzled mess." She ran her hand through her own hair with a laugh._

_Castea chuckled. "I was never fond. I always thought my hair made me look like an old beggar woman."_

_"Nonsense."_

_"But… It has always reminded me of mother…"_

_"Yes. It is much like lady Montronae's. In fact, you are so much like her. I know she would be proud."_

_"Would she?" Castea looked back out, but her husband had long since left her sight._

_"I have no doubt."_

_Castea warmed to the other woman's words. "You sound like Belphegor. He has such confidence in me. In my future."_

_Marguerite couldn't help the frown that pinched at her lips. "That mysterious old man, again, dear? You've spoken to him again?"_

_"Not since the half moon, but he'll be by again soon. He's always around when I need some encouragement."_

_"You've been speaking of him quite often, as of late."_

_"Have I?"_

_She gave a deep pause, contemplating her next words. "Are you sure you can trust him?"_

_Castea opened her eyes at that and looked back at the head servant with an expression that was surer than ever before. "More than anyone."_

_In the late afternoon sun, Castea went out on a walk. She casually greeted the rest of the townsfolk and bought some of their wares in the marketplace, as well as a trinket or two for Marguerite. Mostly, she just wanted to feel free, away from her world that had grown so small._

_"Castea?"_

_She slowed to a stop and turned, seeing Sebastian for the first time in years. He looked so much older, wiser. There was a slight crinkle around his eyes that spoke of a weariness that hadn't been present in his youth. But there was a happiness to his gaze that was new, too. As she looked at him, even after all the time that had past, she still felt such fondness._

_"It_ is _you, Castea. I thought-"_

_"Watch how you speak to your queen," one of her guards called out from her side._

_Castea glared over at the man. The guards had been an unwelcome addition to her life after she'd been crowned. It hadn't been her idea, and each of the men had been handpicked by Barsilisk. "Watch how you speak to my people." The man seemed taken aback and she watched in amusement as he apologized and bowed. "I would like to share some words with him. Surely you can give your queen some privacy."_

_"Certainly, your grace." They backed off, creating a small perimeter around her and Sebastian. It wasn't as much privacy as she would have liked, but it would do._

_Finally she turned back to him, though his attention had strayed to the royal guard surrounding them. "Hello, Sebastian."_

_"You have guards?"_

_"Yes, I suspect they are more for keeping me in line than for my protection, but…" She caught herself from speaking out any further. "Is that all you wanted, Sebastian?" She didn't mean to sound so brusque, but their previous interaction still tormented her thoughts._

_Guilt fell into his expression as he looked back at her. He stared, taking in all of her features. "How… How are you?"_

_"Does that really concern you?"_

_He flinched at the sting of her words. He deserved her anger, he supposed. He knew that he had abandoned her at a time when she needed him most. But there had to be some way he could make up for that. "I was wrong. We are friends. We always have been. I just… needed to realize that." He'd been a coward, and Castea had paid the price. He knew that now. He couldn't push her away anymore, even if it hurt more in the long run. "I am deeply sorry."_

_She had told herself that she wouldn't fall apart in front of anyone anymore, but this was_ Sebastian _. The man that would always hold a piece of her heart. She found it increasingly difficult to keep her composure._

_He went in to hug her, but a look from the nearest guard stopped him. "How have you been?"_

_"I'm fine," she said, and gave a smile that was about as hollow as her statement. "I'm always fine. A queen handles her struggles with dignity and grace. I just feel so…"_

_"Alone? You aren't alone."_

_She wanted to take comfort in those words, but how could he say that when he hadn't been there to support her?_

_"I'm sorry I haven't been here." He swallowed, green eyes misting over as he looked down at her. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you after Lord Epsian passed. That- The grief must be unbearable, even now."_

_"I'm fine."_

_"When was the last time you said that and meant it?!" he snapped._

_She flinched back, her fingers unconsciously fiddling with the hem of her sleeve._

_Sebastian traced the action with his eyes and saw the fear within her expression as she stared down at the ground. Slowly, so as not to startle her, he carefully took her wrist and gently tugged up the lace to reveal a deep, purpling bruise. "Tell me that isn't the king's handiwork." When Castea didn't speak, he glanced over at the guards, all now conveniently looking away and acting ignorant toward her plight. "It is, isn't it? Gods, Castea, why would you let him-"_

_"How is your wife, Sebastian?" She cut him off, reminding him that it wasn't his business. The state of her physical well-being was no longer his burden to bear. Her sleeve fell back into place as their conversation turned. "I heard…" The words caught in her throat and even clearing it didn't seem to be effective in dislodging them. "I heard… I heard that you are expecting your second. Congratulations."_

_Sensing that she didn't wish to speak of herself anymore, he indulged her question. He spoke about his wife and his daughter, and the new one on the way. He spoke about the farm and their troubles. About how his wife no longer taught, but had taken to motherhood just as well._

_Happiness. That was all Castea could hear in his voice. She didn't need to pay attention to what he was saying to hear it. He was happy. She knew somewhere in her heart that she should share in his joy, but all she could see now was a happiness she could never attain._

_"How about you?"_

_His question brought her back to their conversation and she shuttered her sorrow behind a mask of interest. "What did you say?"_

_"I asked about you. Are you two…?"_

_His cheeks appeared to flush and she suspected it was due to something other than embarrassment. "Trying. Barsilisk wishes for a boy, most avidly."_

_"Well, I know any child of yours, boy or girl, will be lovely. And will hopefully carry the tradition of your hair." He stepped into her space, ignoring the glaring eyes of the men surrounding them, and ran his large hand through her fair blonde locks._

_"My sister's has always been better. Golden like sunshine."_

_Sebastian shook his head. "Yours is white and pure, like untouched snow."_

_She noted the affection within his voice. It hurt to pull away, but they couldn't continue on in that manner. Nothing good could come from it. "I best be off," she began as she stepped out of his reach. "I wish your family the best." She truly did, even if it killed her to do so._

_"I'm here, Castea. Never forget that."_

_"I won't, Sebastian."_

_Her husband arrived at about the same time as nightfall. She still sat at the dining table, her supper untouched. She couldn't stomach it, not then. Not when her husband came waltzing in rife with the smell of illicit actions._

_"You haven't eaten?"_

_"I thought I would wait for you…" She let her words drop off, her disgust and disappointment clear in her tone. He met that with a look that chilled her to her core, though she hardly cared anymore._

_"I heard you went out into town today. Spoke with some commoners?"_

_"I'm surprised you could hear anything outside of whatever bed you were occupying this afternoon-"_

_Barsilisk slammed his hand down on the table. "That," he spat, "is enough."_

_He strode across the room, soon coming to her side as he glowered down at her. She only looked back up into his eyes. His frown softened into a slight smile as he bent down and kissed the crown of her head. "I don't wish to quarrel today." He stood back up as his palm slid down into her white locks._

_Castea repressed the urge to pull away. She didn't want his touch. His fingers weren't like Marguerites, so careful and soothing, or like Sebastian's that spoke of years of past intimacy. They weren't like Belphegor's that brought her feelings of safety and the promise of a better tomorrow. No, they were as callous and harsh as their owner._

_She yelped as he gripped her hair in one hand and yanked her head back. In that position, she was forced to meet his eyes, to watch as his smile lilted back into a sneer. "Yet you continue to try my patience." He pulled her up by her hair and dragged her into the next room. "I'm not sure this style is fitting for a queen of your stature. Maybe it's time for a cut."_

_"Barsilisk, please-" She stumbled after him as his grip tightened. After a few more strides, they were in front of the large, beveled mirror that decorated the sitting room. He held her there, both of them staring into their reflection as Castea fought off her renewed fear of her husband. He caressed her paling face with his free hand and she squirmed as she tried to move away from him. His face darkened, in response._

_He grasped her chin, his fingertips digging into her jaw. "A queen should not cavort around with commoners, especially not someone like that Sebastian fellow."_

_A steel weight sank into her gut as realization dawned on her. This wasn't about her hair, or her speaking openly about his affairs. This was about how she chose to spend her afternoon, and who she chose to spend it with. A familiar fire lit within her and she readied her tongue to speak against such blatant hypocrisy. She fell silent as he drew his dagger from his side._

_Bringing the knife up against her neck, he acted as if he were simply indicating the length that would be cut from her hair. "About there. It will be beautiful, yes?"_

_It took everything in her to stay still. The dagger was cold against her skin, its sharp edge serving to remind her who held the power between them. "Whatever you think is b-best, l-love."_

_"Well, then, what are we waiting for?"_

_With a swipe of his blade her snow white tresses fell. She shut her eyes against the image, her face scrunched up as she steadily felt her head getting lighter._

_When he was done, she opened her eyes. There was almost nothing left. Her chopped up hair came down to just past her ears. She could only stare dully at her reflection, unfeeling as he embraced her from behind. "Much better than that horse hair you had. We'll have Marguerite trim it up better tomorrow. Now, why don't we retire early? Etro knows, maybe we'll finally conceive our son."_

_She watched as he put his hand against her stomach. She didn't feel it. She didn't feel much of anything for the rest of the night._


	29. Rebirth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Double update! If you started out on this chapter and didn't read chapter 28's author's note. You may want to head back and do so!  
> As explained in the previous chapter notes, this is all about Castea's history and is completely skippable. I thank any of you that do choose to read through it, though I understand if you choose not to. The next chapter will be getting back to the main storyline.

_Seasons passed and soon enough the time had flown by Castea with no mercy. She attended her sister's marriage, watched as her smile, born from love and trust, lit up her face as she pledged her undying devotion to her husband. Erevet looked just as in love. The whole ceremony nearly made her sick._

_Her sister left the castle and went to live in her new husband's kingdom. Castea watched her leave. Her little sister was all grown up. Her little sister was so happy. And again Castea could only think that happiness was not meant for her._

_She endured it all, just as Belphegor told her to. The day rolled into another and then another and then another. Sebastian was happy. Cecily was happy. But she still couldn't attain happiness. She still couldn't even produce an heir._

_Barsilisk had only grown more and more cross with her as she failed to give him what he desired most. As she failed at the one thing he was keeping her alive for. Some part of her was glad. She didn't want to give him a child. Why should she have to give him any more of herself? And once she gave him a baby, he'd be free to do away with her. The next time she chose to mouth off would be her last._

_But another part of her wanted to have a child. She wanted her life to have meaning. She wanted to have someone to love and love her in return. She wanted to be a mother, had since she was young. As her own mother had told her, nothing gives one more happiness than the love of a child. She wanted that._

_Yet her body wouldn't give her one. It betrayed her, just like everything else._

_She sought comfort from Sebastian. She knew it was unwise to visit him, but she needed to speak to someone, get out of her own head. Even Marguerite's own words and assurances had begun to lose meaning._

_"How is Giselle?" Her name had gotten easier to speak as time wore on. "And the kids? How did they fare in the winter?"_

_Sebastian beamed, fatherly pride tinging his words. "Oh, they're wonderful. Just as hardy as their pa," he laughed. "Cassidy took ill for a few moons, but was as bright as a daisy when it passed. You should'a seen her. Bouncing off every surface in the house."_

_Castea chuckled quietly. "Must have been quite the sight."_

_Sighing into silence, he looked back over at her as he stopped gathering the corn. "And, Castea, how are you? You've smiled less and less over the seasons."_

_Her earlier mirth vanished so easily. She gazed back into his deep green eyes, filled with such loyalty, and spoke. "I… I just never imagined that starting a family would be so hard."_

_His face fell and he dropped the pile from his hands as he brought her into his chest. "It will happen, I promise you. It would probably be a lot sooner if he spent more time cherishing you than beating you." She tensed up in his hold, so he backtracked. "Just give it time. And drink some chamomile. I know Giselle said it helped her, uh, better conceive, I guess."_

_She laughed as he scratched the back of his head._ Time. Just a little more time. That's all anyone tells me.

_She looked back at Sebastian, whose gaze was trained on the trees._

_"What is it?"_

_"I just felt off, y'know. Like someone was watching us. You left your guards behind, right?"_

_"Marguerite kept cover for me. Told them I was sleeping off a long night with Barsilisk."_

_Sebastian clicked his tongue at that, but turned his gaze back to the woman. "Must'a been my imagination."_

_If only it had been._

_Castea snuck out once again and ran under the moonlight to Sebastian's home. She was beginning to feel at home there again. Giselle had even begun inviting her inside. The woman was welcoming even through their awkward first greetings. And she'd gotten to meet Sebastian's daughters, both as terribly stunning as their father. She was looking forward to another night among their family, amongst their love and happiness, but she wouldn't get another one._

_She hadn't made it through the trees before the smoke hit her like a wall. She coughed against it, but strode forward. When she got far enough, she could see the orange light and hear the loud blaze. When she realized what was happening, she began to run. She picked up speed until she could barely breathe._

_She collapsed on the lawn before the little house that was now engorged in flames. It was bright and hot and she couldn't see a way in or out. Something inside pulled her in, wanting her to try and save any of that precious family. Any of that happiness. Yet the more rational part of her told her to stay, reminding her that she would never achieve any of her own happiness if she moved._

_The house groaned and began to cave. The roof toppled into the third floor, a burst of fire and embers shooting out of the new crater. She was about to give into despair when a figure emerged from the front door. It ran forward unsteadily, something cradled in its arms. Castea nearly cried out in joy as she recognized Sebastian._

_She ran towards him, but he fell to the ground before she could make it to him. Whatever he was cradling slipped from his grasp and rolled towards her in the grass. Castea let out a sob as she came to find that it was his little girl. She quickly knelt down before her and set her fingers carefully along her neck, ignoring the horrifying feel of burnt flesh. The queen prayed for a beat, or any sign of life, but she was gone._

_The house finally collapsed, jolting Castea into action as she went to Sebastian's aid. He, too was burnt, but not nearly as badly. The smoke wafted off of his body, and Castea could only wonder how long he had been in there. He was crying and yelling at the house, his words jumbled and hysterical. The only words she could make out were the names of his wife and children. He could barely move, large gashes littered along his body. But she knew the pain of his physical wounds meant little to him now._

_She sought to comfort him in the only way she knew how. "Shh, Sebastian, please." She pulled him into a light embrace, careful of his injuries. She held him as he struggled and his pained shouts fell into anguished whispers. "Gods, Sebastian. Please. It's- I'm here. Please, you'll only hurt yourself more."_

_He suddenly stilled in her hold and as the silence became deafening she looked down at him to find that he was no longer conscious. She scrambled to listen to his heart. It still thrummed, though it was slow, quickly losing its fight to go on._

_"No! No, you can't take him, too!" she cried out. "You can't have him, please!"_

_But her pleas fell on deaf ears. No one was there to help her. No one would come to save him._

_"Castea, move away from him. Quickly, now!"_

_She jumped off of his still form to find Belphegor at her side. Where he'd come from, she couldn't guess, but it hardly mattered. "Please, you have to help him." She clawed at his robes in desperation, her strength pulling him down to the ground beside them. "Please!"_

_"I'm trying, my dear, but you must release me."_

_She did. She sat there, tears trailing down her cheeks as she watched the man lay a hand upon Sebastian's chest. Everything stilled for the next few minutes until a faint white light emerged from Belphegor's palm. It was so vivid and it reminded her of the light she'd looked into that day in the forest. She watched as the light seemed to seep into Sebastian's body. The visible gashes he'd had closed up almost immediately as his chest began to slowly rise once more._

_His eyes jolted open as he breathed in a loud gasp. Belphegor removed himself from the man as Castea came back between them. Sebastian coughed loudly, every breath he took sounding harsh as he wheezed. Castea couldn't believe her eyes. He was alive. She was sure he had died, but…_

_She cradled the man's head against her chest as she stared over at Belphegor. "How…?"_

_"This is simply the power I hold within."_

_"Castea?" She brought her gaze back to Sebastian as he took in his surroundings, his eyes wild and his voice rough. "What… I-" The fiery glow drew his attention then and a renewed agony filled his expression as tears streaked his face. "They're g-gone, aren't they? I couldn't save them! I tried to-to save them, but they were already…"_

_He curled into her side and Castea had to fight off her own urge to fall apart. "Sebastian, how did this even-"  
He howled out his misery into her stomach, and she held him there until he could speak again. "There… there have been raids out in the north. It must have been them- they took… those bastards! I should have been here… I just- I had to p-pick up the grain!" A cough ripped its way out of him and he took in a series of breaths before continuing. "I should have been here. I should have saved them. I tried, but… but it was too late. Cassidy was barely breathing and…" Castea tried her best not to look at his daughter's body that now laid unmoving in the dirt. He curled back into her, crying out his apologies as he clutched onto her form. "I'm sorry, Cas! I'm so sorry..."_

* * *

 

_Only Sebastian survived. When this had been confirmed, Castea could only reel at the news. She tried to find out what happened. She wanted to find the people that were responsible. And do what to them, she wasn't so sure. But there was nothing. None of the neighbors saw or heard a thing. No trail or evidence had been left behind. There wasn't even a tell of how the fire had been started, as if the house had spontaneously burst into flames on its own. It didn't make sense._

_Not until Belphegor made the suggestion._

_"Didn't your husband warn you away from him?"_

_She couldn't handle the thought. If she allowed herself to entertain the idea, she would have to come to terms with the fact that it was her fault that they died. It wasn't some random raiding party that tried to steal from the farm._ She _had brought such misfortune upon them. Upon Sebastian._

_No, her husband couldn't have._

_But as much as she didn't want to admit it, some part of her wouldn't let it go. The thought only grew as Barsilisk continued to isolate her._

_When he took Marguerite from her side, she nearly lost it._

_"It's alright, Castea. I'll be fine." She tried to hush the girl's cries as they stood outside of the castle gates. The brunette stared up at the king as he smiled down at her from the window. It took everything in her to not show her hatred. She knew anything she did would only harm Castea in the future. "I will be alright."_

_"But," she said as she looked up, tears and snot dripping down her face as she couldn't contain herself. "He can't send you away. He can't! What will you do? Out there by yourself?!"_

_"I'll be okay. I have family out past the Southern Ruins."_

_"But you'll never make it out there! Not by yourself! The journey, it's-"_

_"I will be okay. I was allowed an escort and I will get on just fine." She smiled down at the girl and took her arms from her waist. "Now come on, this is not how a queen should carry herself." Marguerite cleaned away her tears and the snot from her face with her sleeve. "Much better."_

_"But-"_

_She gave her a stern eye and Castea instantly quieted. "I will be fine. It is you who needs to be careful. You must keep living on, Castea. No matter what happens, no matter what he does to you, don't let him take your soul from you, you got that? You are such a wonderful person, Castea." She embraced her, her arms tight around the girl that she had known since Castea had first been born. "Never let him change you."_

_She saw Marguerite to the outskirts of the kingdom until her guards wouldn't let her any further. Belphegor offered to keep an eye on her, but his powers only extended so far. He couldn't assist if something happened on her journey._

_And something did. Marguerite didn't last a fortnight on such a hard trek. Belphegor wouldn't tell her how or why, no matter how much she pled with him._

_"Such knowledge will not heal your pain, Castea. It will only cause you more agony."_

_"I have to know! I did this to her! It was my doing!"_

_"No, my dear." He knelt beside her, stroking the side of her face. "It was not you who sent her on a journey that was hopeless from the beginning."_

_His words sank in. Her anger grew._

* * *

 

_Her fingertips ran along the slight swell of her stomach. She smiled at herself in the mirror, happy even as the nausea had yet to dissipate. She had done it. She was finally going to be a mother. After so long, after so many miscarriages, she was finally going to have a baby._

_She dressed herself for the day and went out into town. Barsilisk had been gone for the better part of a month, his duties having taken him to the Falto kingdom. He was due home that very day and she'd decided that she was going to tell him that night. She couldn't wait to see his face. She finally did something right. Something she could be proud of that would make them happy. At this point in her life, that was all she wanted._

_Even though she suspected Belphegor already knew, she didn't want anyone else to know before her husband. She couldn't have anticipated running into Sebastian in the market that day, nor could she have known that he would be so perceptive._

_"You're positively glowing, Castea. I know that look." He laid a hand upon her lower abdomen, his smile wide as he felt the slight firmness beneath his palm. "You're going to be a mother!"_

_His smile was almost instantly reflected on her own face, although she felt uneasy speaking about such a topic in his company. "I just-"_

_"Why didn't you tell me?"_

_He sounded upset with her, and she quickly tried to explain herself. "You just lost your daughters, Sebastian. I-"_

_"I'm happy for you, Castea." The grief was still clear in his eyes as only a handful of seasons had come to pass since their deaths, but there was an undeniable mirth to his features that showed how happy he was for her despite that. "You'll be a wonderful mother. The fool probably hasn't even noticed yet, huh?"_

_Against her better judgement, she laughed. "You shouldn't speak that way of your king."_

_"He's not my king."_

_The uneasiness returned as she watched his expression darken. She never told Sebastian of her suspicions of her husband, for fear of what might happen to him if he ever tried to go after Barsilisk, but his earlier dislike never waned. After the incident, she had tried to cut off her interactions with the man, not wanting to test Barsilisk's patience further, but he insisted that they remain in contact. After all, he reminded her, who else did he have left?_

_She spent a good deal of the daylight hours in his company and only retreated back to the castle when evening had fallen. Upon arrival, she had been informed by the gate guards that the king had arrived a few hours earlier, but that he didn't wish to be disturbed. She was going to respect those wishes. She knew what happened when she didn't._

_She ate alone. She allowed herself a long, luxurious bath. She spent much time just staring at her naked stomach, her hands caressing the skin. When her excitement got the better of her, she made her way to their bedroom. She knew he wouldn't be happy with her for interrupting his rest, but she thought that the news would surely make up for it._

_Although, she hadn't quite known what a 'rest' entailed._

_"Barsilisk," she gasped as she walked into the room. "What… What are you doing?" It came out in a whimper as her eyes took in the other woman, exposed and entangled in her sheets. She'd never thought that he would bring one of them into their bed. She didn't think he thought that little of her. Again, she was proven wrong. He didn't even care to look ashamed._

_"Castea, you were told to leave me be."_

_Castea could only gape at the disapproval in his tone, at the look he gave her despite her obvious distress. She watched as he gave the other woman a long, deep kiss, even as she seemed troubled by the presence of his wife. He turned back toward her and shooed her away with a wave of his hand._

_"Go on. And do not disturb me again."_

_He moved to continue their earlier activities, but stopped as a large object flew towards him. He ducked it, the vase shattering against the headboard._

_"How dare you!" Castea screamed. "How dare you do this in_ our _bed! After everything you've done, all you've taken, you-" She couldn't finish and instead went to grab something, anything within reach. It was the last straw. She was carrying his_ child _and it still wasn't enough for him. He had done too much, and she couldn't stop herself as she reached out to grab the small bust they kept on a table by the door. It had almost left her hands when Barsilisk caught her by the neck and pushed her up against the wall._

_Her body slammed back, her rage suddenly extinguished as fear overtook it. Her eyes widened and she tried to apologize, but his hold on her neck didn't allow her the luxury of speech._

_"How dare I? How dare you throw things at me!" He pulled her forwards only to slam her back against the wall. "How dare you yell at me! How dare you embarrass me in front of a guest!" He let go of her and smacked her across the face. "Do not ever disrespect me!"_

_She held her cheek with one hand as she protected her stomach with the other. "I- I'm sorry, Barsilisk. I didn't mean to-" He smacked her once more, the blow sending her to the floor. "P-please, Barsilisk, stop. I'm-"_

_"You dare give me orders?!"_

_He sent a series of kicks her way, each one gaining strength. She gasped in terror as one connected with her stomach. She tried to curl into herself, to protect her abdomen from his wrath, but he seemed keen on harming every inch or her._

_When he tired of the action, he pulled her back up by her hair. "Barsilisk, p-please. Our ch-" She tried to tell him once more, as the tears streamed down her face and the blood dripped from the corner of her mouth, but he wasn't interested._

_He continued to beat her. The woman had long since gone by the time he stopped. He gave a huff of exhaustion as he threw on his robes and left the room, but not before leaving her with some last words. "Tell me, Castea. What exactly were you going to do with that bust? Were you going to take my life?" he mocked as he spat down at her crumpled form. "As if you could."_

_The door slammed behind him and then there was silence. She didn't move. She could barely breathe in fear of how it could further harm the baby. When the pain grew to be too much, she forced herself up. She gasped in agony as she sat herself against the wall. Slowly, she drew her arm up and placed her shaking hand against her belly. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have-" She hiccupped in a breath and sent out a prayer, "please let my child live," before she dragged herself up and out of the room._

_She tossed on an old cloak as she slipped from the castle walls in the darkness of the night. She ignored the pain of her injuries and the blood that seeped down her thighs as she ran with only one destination in mind. This was not something medicine could fix. She couldn't trust a doctor to care for her. She could only trust him._

_The forest seemed to welcome her back as she finally made it. She collapsed into the dirt as her feet gave out from under her. Protecting her stomach, her back took the brunt of the fall, and she cried out as she felt something snap. She laid there for a long while, her heart hammering away in her chest as she held her child. Covered in the darkness of the trees, she could only wait until Belphegor returned._

_"My maker, Castea, you're-" He halted his words as he knelt before her. She woke up to his call, gaze frantic as she grabbed his arms._

_"Belphegor, save my child!" she cried, "Please, you have to… Do whatever needs to be done! Please!"_

_He nodded, his palm coming up to quickly heal whatever damage he could. He told her to close her eyes. She did so without hesitation._

_She felt the warmth instantly soothe many of her wounds and injuries. It was like being swaddled in a blanket of sunshine. This was a feeling she never wanted to relinquish. It was the feeling she wanted to give to her child._

Survive _, she asked it._ Endure, just like mama. 

_When the pain had all but disappeared, she opened her eyes. She smiled as she looked down to see all of her cuts and bruises gone. Even her old ones had vanished. But that smile quickly fell away as she looked into Belphegor's eyes. "What about my child?" she asked, breathless and desperate._

_He swallowed, expression grave. "There was nothing I could do."_

_She screamed out as she cradled her stomach, her arms squeezing it as if that could keep her baby from leaving her. She bent forward, her forehead against the ground as she curled into a ball once again. She cried out into the darkness, Belphegor's hand unwelcome on her back even as he tried to calm her._

_"He took everything from me! My kingdom, my father, my family, my ch-" Heartrending sobs devolved into harsh coughs and pained breaths. "I can't do this anymore."_

_Belphegor brought her back up into a sitting position and stared into her lost gaze. "You mustn't say such things. You need to endure-"_

_"I can't anymore!" She shook herself from his grasp and scrambled back against a tree. "You wish me to endure more of this?" She gestured down to her person. "What kind of cruelty do I have to endure in order to earn my happiness? Tell me that, Belphegor."_

_Giving her a look of sympathy, he slowly made his way to her and sat at her side. He spoke once he thought she'd calmed down enough to listen. "It is almost time, my dear."_

_"I no longer care."_

_"You do. You didn't go through all of this to abandon your goal now, did you?" She wouldn't look at him, but he could tell by the clenching of her fists that he'd hit the right spot. "I swear to you… you are nearly ready." To prove his words, he brought his hand to the back of her neck. She hardly flinched as his fingers dug into the skin, but she couldn't help the scream that tore from her throat as a searing pain developed beneath his hold. She tried to get away, but he wouldn't let go. She stared at him, betrayal sunk deep into her expression, before she squeezed her eyes shut at the pain._

_When he finally let go, she crawled away from him, her fingers groping the back of her neck to figure out what he'd done. "Why?!" Was all she could get out. She couldn't believe he'd hurt her, but as she felt the odd smoothness beneath her hair, and looked back at him, she realized he hadn't. She traced the pattern with her fingertips, laughing humorlessly as things finally fell into place. "A l'Cie? You made me a l'Cie?"_

_"Not just any l'Cie, my child. You are unburdened by a focus and are not tied to the strings of death and time. You shall soon be filled with limitless potential" he spoke, sharp voice commanding. "You are now_ my _l'Cie."_

* * *

 

_Time drew on. She explained away her lost child to Sebastian, the word miscarriage utterly inadequate on her tongue. Barsilisk now seemed to ignore her presence entirely. He didn't even want to see her, much less touch her, and instead warmed their bed with the company of other women._

_Castea forgot to care. She spent most of her time lost among her thoughts, some along marketplace streets, and some in Sebastian's company. The time she enjoyed the most, though, was in her training sessions with Belphegor._

_They hadn't progressed far, Belphegor intent on waiting until she was 'ready.' But he showed her the simple things and started her out small. Learning easy spells, how to sense incoming dangers, how to feel the pulse of magic within her. It didn't add up to much, but it was enough to keep her going._

_Her days progressed much the same until the news reached her kingdom. Prince Erevet had passed due to an overwhelming illness. Soon after his sending, Cecily came back to her home, but not as the bubbly girl she once cared for. She had been devoured by grief. Castea held her through her sobs, watched her in her fitful sleep, and helped her through her time of pain._

_Through it all she could admit that it felt nice to be needed again. She enjoyed having her sister back in her life, probably more than she should have, given the circumstances. Amongst the feelings of sadness and anger she felt towards her sister's pain, she also felt a strange sense of satisfaction mixed in. As she watched her sister struggle through her despair, she felt her smile grow. Cecily, such a bright, happy girl, finally got to feel some of the misery and desolation she'd felt for half her life. To Castea, such a reality check seemed long overdue._

_It was custom of a widow to spend most, if not all, of her public life within the confines of a mourning veil. Cecily did so, even in the quiet spaces of her own room. As time passed she began to come back to herself. Little by little, the light came back to her eyes and she spent more of her time out amongst the people._

_They adored her. All of the women flocked to her, the men admired her, and the children looked up to her. Castea only grew more bitter._

_"Why don't you come out with me? You've been cooped up in here for so long, Castea," Cecily whined, attempting to drag her sister out by her sleeve._

_"I have things to tend to." It wasn't like she didn't want to. She had always enjoyed going out into town. But now it was like the entire marketplace revolved around Cecily and her gorgeous smile and her golden, shimmery tresses. There was no place for her there._

_She told herself that it didn't matter. She didn't care about the attention Cecily was being lavished with. She didn't really, not until she caught the eye of her husband._

_Castea watched their interaction. His eyes always seemed to stray to her form at the dinner table, his gaze magnetized to her. He would ask her opinion on certain topics and allowed her to give answers that did not reflect his own thoughts. Every few days he would even accompany her into town._

_Castea thought she was being overly sensitive. Everyone was drawn to Cecily, why would her husband be any different? It didn't mean anything. Cecily never returned his glances. She was still deeply in love with her late husband._

_"Your beauty shouldn't be hidden."_

_Hearing her husband's words as she neared the sitting room, Castea quieted her steps and glanced in, careful not to be seen. Barsilisk sat beside Cecily, the two uncomfortably close. He lifted the black veil from her face and delicately dropped it back behind her head._

_"Erevet wouldn't want you to hide away."_

_Cecily stared at him, her eyes wide with a slight panic swirling in their depths. Castea was just about to step in when her expression calmed. A light blush stained her cheeks as she cast her gaze down to the floor._

_"I suppose you're right," she said, voice shaky._

_"He wouldn't want you to suffer in loneliness, either." He cupped her chin and when Cecily didn't immediately pull away, Castea fled the scene, unable to bear much more._

_She spent the rest of her day training beside Belphegor. She felt invigorated as spell after spell flew from her hands, but none of it ever felt strong enough. Her thoughts fell back to Cecily and Barsilisk, their closeness and the desire in his eyes. With a rough cry, Castea let loose a thunder spell that ripped across the forest floor, scorching everything in its path._

_She heaved in a few breaths as she stared at the result of her fury. Belphegor clapped behind her._

_"Well done. That was your strongest yet." He joined her side, but frowned when he saw the dissatisfaction written in the contours of her face. "Something troubles you, my child?"_

_She shook her head. "I don't wish to speak of it." She turned toward him, one brow rising as she redirected her thoughts. "Why do you appear in this form?"_

_Belphegor let out an amused laugh. "I apologize. Does this body not suit me?"_

_"I didn't mean to imply-" Castea flushed a deep scarlet. "I- You're a powerful fal'Cie, yet you appear as an old man that can barely hold his posture."_

_"This is only an alternative look I have adopted. I have many other forms. But my appearance matters little. At my core, I am simply a fal'Cie that wishes to create a better world. And I believe you, my dear, can help me create it."_

_Castea's blush deepened as a small smile slipped onto her lips. She was flattered by his belief in her, but felt it was completely misplaced. "I'm just a l'Cie."_

_"Ah," he said as his eyes lit up. "But you can become more than just a l'Cie. Has anyone ever told you that l'Cies, when given the proper freedom, can evolve?" Castea merely blinked back at him. "You can become a_ mage _, and have all of the power you could ever desire at the tips of your fingers. You just have to want it." He stepped back behind her and drew her hand up, his palm beneath hers. That white glow that she'd come to know so well dazzled between their fingertips. He brought his mouth beside her ear and whispered into it. "You just have to take the final step."_

* * *

 

_She spent many moons wondering what that final step would entail. Belphegor wouldn't tell her. He said it was something she had to figure out for herself. She laid in her bed for hours trying to figure it out. It was nearly maddening._

_As she waited for it to come to her, she became almost obsessed with watching Cecily and Barsilisk become close. She watched them smile. She watched them dance. She watched them laugh. Until she'd finally had enough._

_She confronted Cecily, but what she was met with astounded her._

_"You two have formed quite the bond…"_

_"You should really treat him better, Sis."_

_Castea's eyes bulged as her sister's sentence met her ears. She was being counselled on her marriage by her sister, of all people._

_"If you just listened to him he wouldn't be so harsh with you."_

_"What did you say?"_

_"You can be quite stubborn at times, Sis. You have to admit that."_

_Castea almost screamed back at her. What could she possibly know about her life with Barsilisk?! She hadn't been there. She didn't know._

_That thought cooled her fury. Her sister was simply ignorant, and it was due to her own actions. She'd gone to great pains to make sure her sister had been left out of her darkest moments. She'd kept her in the dark about every cruelty Barsilisk had ever inflicted upon her. It was her own fault, once again._

_When this realization clicked into place, she knew it was only a matter of time._

_Castea had long ago chosen to leave their room. She now stayed in her own quarters, allowing her husband the utmost privacy. But every night she waited out of sight, her eyes lingering on that room that used to be her own. Much time had passed since she'd witnessed another woman enter, but she knew it was because Barsilisk was now waiting for the right one. He was waiting to bed the one woman he knew would hurt her the most._

_He didn't have to wait long. Castea was there to witness as Cecily slipped down the hall, her light gown whispering along the floor after her. She came to stand outside of the door, but stopped just shy of knocking. Her hand paused there, poised in the air. She stood there for a few long moments until Castea thought that she might actually turn back. She was her sister, after all. Cecily wouldn't do that to her._

_The knock was quiet, but deafening in her ears. She watched as Barsilisk opened the door, and Cecily giggled as he led her inside._

_Castea sat there until the sun rose. They had yet to come out. She slipped back to her new room with one thought in mind._

* * *

 

_From then on her magic changed. It was as if every spell was electrified with her most fervent emotions. She put her entire being into her training and it was paying off well. A fira sprung from her palm and decimated the last flan before her, the being leaving only a murky ooze behind._

_Again, she heard her fal'Cie applaud her actions, but his praise barely phased her. She silently fumed as her eyes searched for another monster to take on._

_"Congratulations, my child. I think you are ready for your next step."_

_She looked over at him as her shoulders heaved with exhaustion. "Next step," she repeated, her heartbeat picking up in her excitement._ Am I finally ready to become everything he believes me to be? Am I ready to become a leader that will bring a new world? Will I finally be able to have my happiness?

_"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to take a life, darling?" Belphegor snapped his fingers and Castea's eyes widened as a puff of smoke appeared in the middle of the clearing. When the smoke cleared, it left a lone guard behind. The man was clearly disoriented, but a clarity came to his gaze as he recognized the woman in front of him._

_"Lady Castea?"_

_He sounded so confused, unsure of if he should bow to her or fight off whatever had brought him into the forest. Castea shook her head as she looked over at Belphegor. "What is the meaning of this?"_

_"Aren't you tired of being treated like filth?" His gaze burned into hers. She found she couldn't look away even as she heard the guard's questioning call behind her. "Don't you wish to make him pay for what he's done to you? To your family?"_

_Castea could feel that rage build back up inside of her as her fists tightened at her sides. It all came back in glimpses. Her father's funeral. Sebastian's burning home. Marguerite's retreating back. The feeling of her empty womb. It all came back to Barsilisk's smiling face and she let herself be overcome with hatred._

_"Let him feel your wrath, Castea. Let him know who is weak and who is_ strong _."_

_Castea turned her attention back to the guard who still looked dazed on his feet. She rose her hand, but stopped as Belphegor gave out his first instruction._

_"Remember what I taught you. First, you must immobilize your target, so he can no longer harm you."_

_She did as instructed and focused on the man before her. With a twitch of her fingers, she sent out a petrification spell. His shaky movements slowed until his body tensed up, the blood circulating through his body freezing up in response to the magic. His gaze turned wild with terror as he became completely paralyzed. She smirked at his fear._

_"Now strike. Take his life as he has taken yours."_

_Castea began to draw up another spell, this one much more lethal, but as she continued to look at the man, she felt hesitation slip into her bones. She dropped her arm and shook herself free of her anger. "I can't. This- I can't do this."_

_"Yes, you can, my dear. He's a monster, just like the flan you just slayed!"_

_"This man is just a guard! He has done me no harm!" She went to pull her magic from his body when Belphagor suddenly gripped her wrist._

_"He defended his king, your husband. He ignored all of the pain that man caused you. He treated you like a prisoner in his presence. He is_ not _just a guard. You must eliminate him!"_

_She bit her lip as she stared at the man. She knew that Belphegor was right. He'd done her more harm than good. He was just another puppet of her husband's that would not hesitate to kill her if asked._

_But she couldn't. No matter what he had or hadn't done, she couldn't do it._

_Disappointment clouded Belphegor's gaze as she gave up. With a sigh, he let her go._

_"I'm sorry. I-" A high-pitched scream caught her ears and she looked over just in time to watch the guard's body explode. His blood and limbs decorated the forest floor and Castea could only stare._

_"It's time, my dear. You just have to realize it."_

_"But I-"_

_"Will you let him claim your sister as he casts you aside like used cloth? Let your sister laugh at your back as she takes your throne?"_

_She understood what he was asking of her now. She just didn't know how to do it. Or if she wanted to._

_She chose to give them another chance. Barsilisk would tire of her sister, as he did all of his women. Cecily would realize her mistake. She would give up on him and all would be well again. But that never happened. The two continued to get closer until Castea could no longer take it._

_She followed them out into one of the nearby villages. Eclipsed in old robes, she hid in the darkness of a tree as they walked arm in arm. She used one of the spells Belphagor taught her to enhance her hearing and listened to their conversation._

_"You look absolutely stunning in that gown. You have such fine taste."_

_She giggled, tightening her hold on his arm. "Thank you. And thank you for purchasing it for me." They kissed and Castea turned away as it drew on. Her head whipped back around as Barsilisk spoke again._

_"I love you."_

_Castea heard the same words slip from her sister's lips and instantly felt abandonment and resentment tighten around her heart. She couldn't believe it. She couldn't stand it._

_She couldn't let it continue._

_Throwing out her arm, Castea called forth another petrification spell, sending it directly into Cecily's body. The girl gasped as her body seized up._

_"Cecily, what's the matter?"_

_"I can't move, Barsilisk. It's like-"_

_"Like someone is holding you there?" Castea emerged from the shadows, a smirk in place as she came into view. "Sorry, but it is high time that my husband and I discuss some pressing matters."_

_"Sis, what are you-"_

_"Castea!" Barsilisk bellowed. "You have defied my orders for the last time!" He began to make his way toward her, but she stopped him easily. An invisible barrier shot up in front of him and he strode right into it. As if having walked into a brick wall, he fell to the ground with a groan, rubbing his nose at the pain._

_"Oh, really?" She tilted her head to the side, mocking smile in place. "I don't think so, love."_

_"Castea, what are you doing?!" Cecily fought against the magic, her body shaking as it attempted to move. "What is this?"_

_Castea cackled at her futile struggle._ Trying to save your lover, no doubt. _"I wouldn't speak if I were you, Cec. A whore like you has no business being in this conversation."_

_"Castea, please-"_

_"Please?" she spat. "Please, she says. Do you know how many times I have said please? Nobody listens to please. You want something, you have to learn to do it yourself."_

_Barsilisk recovered and stood back up. He advanced on her again, his expression furious, but she didn't let him get far. She created another barrier. She laughed as he slammed into it again, though this time he didn't fall._

_"You think you can threaten me with those fists, again, darling? Not anymore. Not_ ever _." The fury in his expression deepened and she felt that familiar fear sting into her being, but she shoved it back. She held the power now. He was at the mercy of her will, and she loved it._

_The townspeople congregated around them, gawking at the scene. By the time some of the king's guards had been alerted, it was too late. A ring of fire circled around the three of them, the flames so high and so hot that no one could penetrate it._

_"Ah, ah, ah." She wagged a finger at the guards. "This is my show."_

_"Castea!"_

_Her sister's distressed call drew her attention. Cecily was now free of her spell and standing beside Barsilisk, the man protecting her behind him._ How precious.

_"How are you…" Her gaze took in the fire surrounding them until it rested back on her sister. "How are you doing this?"_

_"This is the power I have now. The power of a true ruler. The power he tried to take away from me." Her eyes slid to her husband. He remained speechless. "What? Nothing to say? You always have something to say. 'Quiet, Castea!' 'Be still, Castea!' 'You are not a queen, Castea, just a king's wife.' Or how about my favorite. 'Were you going to take my life? As if you could.'" She sneered as the blood drained from his face. "Still think I can't, love?" The flames roared around them, her furious energy fueling them._

_He drew Cecily closer to him, in response. "You're insane."_

_"You have yourself to thank for that." She walked closer to the two, her steps bold as her eyes lit with a crazed anger. They both backed away from her until the flames were hot at their backs. "Shall I kill you now? Or should I take your lover first?" She let loose a waterga that knocked her sister from his arms._

_The water surrounded Cecily like a large snake circling its prey. "Castea," her sister whimpered, but she would hear none of it. The water engulfed her, soon surrounding her until she was caught in an unbreakable ball of water. She beat her fists against it as she gasped for air, but it was no use._

_"Cecily!" Barsilisk ran to the floating ball and pounded on the thing with all of his strength. When that yielded no results, he turned back to his wife. "This is your sister. How can you-"_

_"That's right. She is my sister. And what have you been doing with her these past few seasons, hm?"_

_"You let her go, right now."_

_"Or what?" Again, he moved toward her, but stopped as he saw the challenge in her expression. "That's right, Barsilisk. I no longer fear you. What will you do now that you cannot threaten me? Now that you can no longer beat or control me?"_

_His face fell and he looked back at the blonde encased in water. She was gasping and crying out for him, but he could do nothing to get her out._

_"I would hurry, dear. She's not going to last much longer."_

_His eyes flickered back and forth between them as he debated. When he finally made up his mind, he stared at Cecily, his eyes pleading with her to hang on. He turned back to Castea, a certain acceptance in his eyes. "Castea, I…" He swallowed before continuing. "I'll do anything, just-"_

_"Anything?" She looked out to the villagers and guards that still stood around the flames, some trying to extinguish it with buckets of water. "He says he'll do anything." She turned back to him. "I want you to beg. Beg for my forgiveness. Beg me for her life. And maybe I'll spare it."_

_To her utter shock, he did. He got down on his knees as he bowed his head. His hands gripped the ground in desperation. "I beg of you, Castea. Do not do this. Cecily is innocent. She does not deserve this. I'm the one who has done you wrong. I was a horrible husband. I… I hurt you when you did nothing. Kill me, Castea. Take my life."_

_He began to weep and Castea could feel her heart crack a little more. She had been wrong. Barsilisk hadn't gone after her sister in his desire to hurt her. He loved Cecily. He truly loved her. He was even willing to die for her._

_"I'm begging you. Do not take the woman I love."_

_The bubble burst behind him. Cecily fell to the ground as the water rushed down with her. She coughed and gagged as she drew in the air around her. Barsilisk ran to her and embraced her. He was still crying, but now out of happiness as he held her._

_Castea stared at them, her expression a mixture of sorrow and pain. This was not what she wanted. He wasn't supposed to care so much for her. He was a cold bastard. A monster incapable of love. At least, that's what she had thought._

_"Castea, stop this." Cecily stood, her legs unsteady beneath her as she gave another few coughs. She tore herself from Barsilisk's arms as she looked at her sister, anguish in her expression. "Why are you doing this to us?"_

_"Why?! You spend your nights in my husband's bed and you have the nerve to ask me why?!"_

_"I'm sorry… This… We…" Her words lost strength as she looked back at Barsilisk. Her eyes filled with love as she looked at him, but she could only face her sister with an expression of sorrow and regret. "I did not mean for this to happen. I did not know I could fall in love twice. If I could have stopped these feelings, believe me, I would have."_

_Castea scoffed. "You think this is all about your filthy affair? Don't flatter yourself. This is about the pain I have endured for all these years. He will pay. And you along with him."_

_"Please, Castea," she begged. She made her way closer to her sister, her steps slow as her sopping gown weakened her stride. She stopped as Castea glared at her. "We can work through this. We can overcome anything. Isn't that what you told me every time I was sad? Isn't that what you told me when I was scared about leaving the kingdom? I love you. I'm your sister. Please. Stop this madness."_

_Castea's eyes widened as she listened to her sister, her bottom lip quivering as she fought off the emotions swelling in her breast. She took in her sister's drenched form, Barsilisk's tear stained face, the flames around them, and the villagers beyond it all that looked terrified beyond words. She fell to her knees as she lost her will to fight. She thought about all that time she spent protecting Cecily from this darkness. About all of the days they spent playing together, just her, Cecily, and Sebastian. About her cuddled in her lap in their tree, back in those days that had been filled with such warmth and promise._

_This wasn't what she wanted. This had never been what she wanted. She just wanted to be happy. Just like everyone else._

_"You said you would always protect me, Sis." She reached her hand forward toward Castea, her other hand over her heart. "I know you're suffering. I'm suffering, too. We can get through this together!"_

_She blinked and it was like she was still in that dark forest, holding her stomach as she mourned her child._ Suffering? You don't know the meaning of the word. _Castea drew herself back up, her lips twisting into a vicious snarl. "You're suffering?" Cecily brought her hand back to herself and stepped back away from her, but it was too late. "Then let me put you out of your misery." Castea threw up her arm and cast out her strongest thunder spell. The lightning crackled above Cecily's head, but she didn't look up. Instead she stared deep into her sister's eyes, one last apology written within her blue irises, before she closed her eyes, welcoming her punishment. The lightning struck Cecily down, instantly taking her life._

_Barsilisk cried out her name as he ran to her. He attempted to grab her lifeless body, but the lightning still rippled around her, and it sent sharp shocks through his own body. "No… My Cecily…" He turned his despair-laden gaze toward Castea and yelled, "You monster!"_

_She smiled at the name. "That's right. I'm the monster." She was done being the victim. If that meant she had to be the villain, then so be it. She would take his happiness, she would take everyone's happiness, if it meant she could finally attain her own. "And you shall never forget it."_

_She stepped carelessly over Cecily's prone form until she was directly in front of her husband. She bent before him and snatched the dagger from his waist. In one swift movement, she slashed his face, leaving one jagged cut in the blade's wake. "You're mine, Barsilisk. You can sleep with as many whores as you like, but now you will never forget who you belong to."_

_He grunted at the pain, but looked at the blood dripping from his chin in confusion. "You aren't going to kill me?"_

_She laughed. "That would be too easy for you, my love. No, you shall face an eternity at my side. I can think of no better punishment than that." He fell back to his knees and Castea left him there to weep. She turned back to the gawking townspeople, all stunned silent. She let the flames die away before addressing them all._

_"I, Mythnea Vil Castea, am your queen, your ruler. You will all pledge yourselves to me and only me. Any who oppose me shall meet a fate far worse than my sister! Now, who shall be first?" She watched as one by one they all bowed to her. She couldn't imagine a better sight._

* * *

 

_"So you finally took that step. I could not be more proud."_

_"I would call it more of a leap, Belphegor, but I am here now. And I live to serve you, as do all of my followers."_

_"Ah, right." He looked out the window of the castle, watching the townspeople congregating beneath it. "They have devoted themselves to the cause readily?"_

_"My people know what to expect. They will become immortal and join in the war for the new world. Anyone who opposes shall be turned cieth and die in their agony and grief." She chuckled as she stared down at them. They all bowed as soon as she came into sight._

_"You are using fear, then?"_

_Frowning as if having sensed his disapproval, she deflated. "It was easy. Everyone knows that the fate of a Cieth is worse than death. For now fear is a useful tool. They will all follow me willingly soon enough."_

_A loud knock at the door pulled her attention to an incoming visitor. "Come."_

_A guard stepped in, a familiar man at his side._

_"Castea..."_

_She watched his gaze, laden with sorrow as he stared at her from across the room. He had undoubtedly heard of what had transpired the day before. She didn't want his pity. "I am your queen, Sebastian. You shall address me as such."_

_He snapped his mouth shut and bowed his head._

_"I have no use for pretty farm boys." She came to stand before him. Taking his chin in hand, she rose his head until their gazes met. "What I need is a warrior. A blood thirsty dog at my side. One I can trust and count on. Can that be you, Sebastian? Can you do this for me?"_

_He stared down at her and even as the fear crept into his expression, the devotion in his eyes was ever present. "Anything. Of course, my lady."_

_She smiled a true smile this time, one that crinkled the corner of her eyes, and nodded over to Belphegor. The elder nodded back before stepping before Sebastian as he brought his hand up in front of him. Sebastian's gaze flickered with panic, but Castea spoke quickly to soothe his mind. "Do not be afraid." He calmed to the soft cadence of her voice. "He helped me realize the true glory and power I held inside. He helped free me."_

_Sebastian frowned, seeming unsure, before his limbs relaxed and he faced the old man with a look of gratitude. "She's happy. I am forever in your debt." He put his fate in her hands with a nod of his head._

_"If you will, Belphegor," she signaled and he began searing his brand into Sebastian's skin. "My husband is next."_


	30. Deceit

Her thoughts settled back into the present, the stress of a few lifetimes creasing her expression. She brought her eyes up to her sister, seeing an expression of pity that was entirely unwelcome.

"If I'd known-"

"You would have what?" Castea hissed. She didn't want to hear any of her apologies or excuses. She was far past any desire to reconcile her relationship with her sister or mend the damage that had been done. Even if she was interested, nothing she had to say could make the renewed pain gnawing at her insides go away. "If he'd been a better man would that have lessened your offense?" Cecily's mouth snapped shut and she smirked back at the girl.

Her eyes looked Cecily over once more as they lapsed into a short silence. Despite having been dead for hundreds of years, she looked as beautiful and full of life as ever. Her eyes were a crystalline blue, the tears only highlighting their allure. Her golden curls were radiant, surrounding a face that spoke of a timeless attractiveness. Her skin was unblemished, free of any marks as it told of a life sheltered from any harsh truths, much unlike her own. Castea's smirk soon disappeared as her face fell into an annoyed scowl. "What are you doing here? I-"

"Killed me?" Cecily's own smile formed on her face as it was Castea's turn to be shamed into silence. "Does my presence lessen your offense?" she countered.

Castea could feel an old wound tear itself open. The regret she'd buried with her past self had reawakened with her sister, it seemed. There had been times in the past where she'd wondered what it would have been like if she'd let her sister live. If she'd just allowed that small amount of untarnished light to remain in her life. But light didn't linger in the dark depths she was descending into. She didn't need it. She would get it all back once she finally won.

Which brought her back to the question. Why was Cecily here now?

"You're falling apart, Sis," Cecily replied, as if privy to her thoughts. "I'm here to mend the seams. I stand here as a reminder of what you've come from." Her sister came to stand in front of her. She leaned out of reach as Cecily went to touch her, but the girl was determined. Her fingers pet her hair, each digit gently gliding along every white strand that was maintained short and slicked back. They strayed down to feel around her grey eyes that had grown dark like storming skies. One thumb brushed along her injury, teasing the ruined flesh. "Who are you now? You've abandoned your true identity almost completely..."

She sounded disappointed, and Castea squashed down the feelings of insecurity that lone sentence inspired within her. She smacked her sister's hands away, stepping out of reach of that innocent touch. "Once I took over, I made sure nothing would get in my way. I took out everything in my path. I became _stronger_." _Yes, and I don't regret it. You can't make me regret it. I won't let you._ She took out kingdoms and nations, burned down villages and tribes. Any person that didn't pledge their life to her lost it to her blade. She became a name worth fearing, until she became fear itself. "Then the War of Transgression came. Belphagor said it wasn't our time; other fal'Cies were making their move. We vanished, went so far underground that no one could find us and then went to sleep."

Why they didn't participate in the war, she didn't know. She'd questioned Belphegor once. Asked why they couldn't assert their dominance and take on such an easy task. It would just be another step towards his goal of a new world. But he was adamant that they remain hidden. He shared no explanation, no further words of guidance. He simply handed down the order, and she'd obeyed like the good little l'Cie she was.

"When it came time, he woke us up, told us that there was a child, the key to the future we were to create. That was all I needed to hear. I adopted my surname and abandoned my kingdom of origin." She walked back over to her reflection and felt no shame as she looked into it this time. "I became the monster that got things done."

"At what cost?" Cecily's pitying expression wouldn't relent and she felt the need to smack it off of her precious, little face.

"Lady Hidon?" Sebastian's call entered the room before he did. He waited obediently before entering, as always. Cecily put a finger to her lips as Castea called him inside.

"What is it?"

Sebastian walked in, but his gait faltered as he took Castea in for the first time since they'd left. "You're… face…"

Castea pursed her lips. She didn't know if it was agitation, embarrassment, or humiliation that she felt more in that moment. "It's a permanent part of my features, for now. That a problem?"

He was quiet for a while, his face falling as a deep frown marred his features. He looked devastated and she could guess why. It had been a long time since he had seen her take any lasting damage, and never such a galling scar. She could see a silent sorrow and rage simmering behind his eyes, the same look he used to give her when he'd witness her sporting another penalty from her husband. "No. No, of course not."

"You came to brief me, correct?" she asked, her expectant gaze quickly turning impatient.

He gave himself a slight shake, stepping back into his duties. "The group is still heading towards Lindzei's crystal, but they have a tail."

Castea cocked an intrigued brow. "Continue."

"They've stepped into the Heraldin Tribe's territory. Their chief has already sent out some scouts and fighters to collect them."

"Interesting. I wonder if it will be Hope's negotiation skills or Lightning's combat abilities that get them out of this one."

"That's not all," Sebastian said as he came in closer. "This tribe. It's the one the boy attached himself to. He's one of the ones that's trailing them, as we speak."

"Hmm. Maybe this way he can be of use to us…" Castea couldn't say that she was pleased with the change of events, but their hopes of utilizing the boy's history with Zalera had not yet been dashed. She looked over her shoulder towards Cecily, more than perturbed as she felt her penetrating stare. Her gaze was sharp, but it wasn't directed towards her. Her sister was looking at Sebastian, her eyes observing his movements, as if she were evaluating his entire demeanor. She was about to comment on it, but remembered Cecily's gesture from before. A bout of curiosity stirred in her mind as she turned back to her underling. Cecily's presence didn't seem to faze him. A more accurate statement would have been that he didn't seem aware of her presence at all. "Keep me updated, Sebastian."

The man bowed and left without another word. Castea refocused her attention back onto the irritant within the room. Cecily looked like she was about to crack from heartache.

"What have you done to him? He always had such a beautiful soul. Now it's-"

"He can't see you, can he?" She asked, stepping around the girl to see if she was truly there in the room with her. Her touch had felt real enough, but Sebastian hadn't noticed her despite her form being within sight. He wouldn't have ignored her. _No, if he'd seen Cecily he would have reacted._ "Nobody can, but me. Why do I get to be so damn special?" she bit out.

Cecily only gazed back at her, face now forming into a sweet smile. She wanted to gag at the pure, doe-eyed look she'd perfected.

Castea drew her fingers up to massage between her eyes. "I must be going crazy if I'm conjuring up dead people out of thin air. Or maybe you're just a figment of my imagination?" She let out a beleaguered breath. "No, if that was it, I would have done away with you long ago."

"Whether I'm a spirit or a projection of your mind, it doesn't matter. I'm here because you need me." Cecily strode up to her and hugged her, a glee-filled hum slipping passed her lips as she did so. "And here I'll stay."

* * *

"You all mind if we rest a bit?" Sazh called out from his place behind the group. He'd been lagging for a good half-hour, his joints on the verge of locking up and his feet hounding him for some peace. "I feel like we've been walking for _centuries_. My pups could use a break."

Lightning halted them all quickly as she turned back to face him. "It's only been two days." Her response was far terser than she'd intended, but she could attribute that to the lingering effects of their time in Pulse's Castle.

"Yeah, well. Two days without much rest is enough for me."

Zalera put an impatient hand on her hip, but a smile of amusement lightened her features. "I thought we were trying to make it there within ten days."

"Maybe we should relax that schedule," Hope chimed in, looking towards the green-haired woman.

"Really now?"

He gave an unapologetic smile. "Sorry. We just aren't built like you guys."

Lightning and Zalera both turned towards each other, sharing a look. "Men," they said, perfectly in sync.

"Such babies," Zalera continued.

Hope and Sazh both laughed at the comment. "Hey, now," Hope defended. "No need to go into the gender debate. Let's just settle it on the basis of training and upbringing, okay?"

"Still babies."

The pilot pushed a tired hand through his hair. "How do I always end up with a bunch of headstrong young'uns?"

Hope shook his head as Sazh let out a weary sigh beside him. As easy as it seemed to have come back to them, this had been the first time that the group had managed to get back into their usual rapport since the few days before. A harsh, overbearing silence slunk into their company as they made their trek to the next crystal. It wasn't welcome, and none of them seemed to enjoy it. Each of them had tried to lighten the mood, but none of it had stuck. This seemed to be just another one of those times as all of them fell back into the arms of that same dour atmosphere they couldn't let go of.

They decided to rest after a bit more ribbing from the female half of their team. Sazh came over to him after a while, thanking him for pretending to be winded for his sake. Hope just nodded, though his decision to stall the team hadn't been completely for the elder man's well-being. Hope just wasn't sure what to do anymore. His mind was so jumbled that he could hardly figure out which way was up, almost as if he were caught in a drunken stupor. He felt so haggard and delirious that even walking in a straight line began to feel like a struggle. His mind was caught in a haze of thoughts and his emotions didn't know what to do with them.

Was he supposed to feel happy? Happy that his team was safe? Happy that he had survived? Happy that he'd walked away victorious? Hope grimaced at the thought. He had by no means won in his little battle with Castea, even if he had managed to walk away unscathed. Her face popped into his mind, all scarred and disfigured, and he blinked it away as he stared down at his hands. He flexed them in his lap, watching the skin stretch over his palms and as the veins surfaced closer to the skin. His gaze traveled over all of the creases and toughened calluses until he couldn't look at them anymore. He couldn't recognize them. His hands no longer felt like his own. They hadn't in a long while.

He wasn't sure if they even felt human.

The same could be said for the rest of him, he supposed. Whatever the crystal was doing inside of him, he couldn't truly know, though he could feel it stirring every now and again. The energy would pulse before he could feel a new fire burning its way into his veins and settling into his brand. The same thing would happen shortly after, but in reverse. It was like a circuit. The brand and the crystal were feeding off of each other in a silent match, as if only one could win the power if it held on long enough, if it was strong enough. He didn't know which one he should have been rooting for.

He directed his mind away from thoughts of the crystal, though it landed into more uncomfortable territory. " _Didn't she tell you? She knows…"_ Castea's words were still buzzing around in his head, bouncing around every nook and cranny of his skull until they came alive, forcing him to recall every moment of his time in the Ark. Only this time it was like he was outside of himself, watching it all happen. It was easy to tell whose perspective he was seeing it from.

His gaze fell onto Lightning's form from across the fire. She was staring at him again, her mind whirring with all of the concern he could see reflected in those blues eyes. She refused to look away, unashamed that he'd caught her, but Hope dropped his gaze quickly enough that she didn't need to. He couldn't face her. He couldn't deal with her right now. He suspected that Lightning knew that, and that was why she had yet to approach him, but it was coming. She wouldn't let him run away from her for very long.

His mind kept going around and around at a dizzying speed until he allowed himself to succumb to the fatigue weighing him down. He wasn't going to figure anything out by working himself up. He had to let things unfold as they were. As Sazh had said, they'd chosen this path. He just had to keep walking.

Lightning watched Hope as he settled back into a log and closed his eyes. She waited until his breathing slowed, his features softening as all of the hard emotions melted away. Only when she was sure that he was asleep did she let out a sigh of exhaustion. She let her guard down for a few brief moments as she reoriented herself. The past two days had been hell. Between the mountain monsters, the Pulsian disciples, and Castea, Lightning had been drawn into a constant state of paranoia. She couldn't shake the feeling that Hope was going to be snatched up so suddenly, so quickly, that she wouldn't even notice he was missing until it was too late. Worse were her thoughts about the crystal and his brand consuming him. She hadn't liked how winded he was on the mountain, how pained he seemed after using magic he had once enjoyed. Seeing him puke up his guts after the crystal had been introduced into his body only served to further put her on edge.

Hope was struggling. In more ways than one, she knew, but she couldn't help him. Even if she knew how to, he didn't appear to want her help. He'd taken snippets of advice and little words of sympathy and gratitude from Zalera and Sazh easily enough, but whenever she tried to speak to him, she was met with an empty smile or a silent shrug. He didn't wish to speak with her. The realization only caused her to become more frustrated with herself.

"Not looking so hot there, Firefly." Lightning stiffened at the nickname before giving Zalera a flat stare as she approached. "How have you been holding up since the last couple of fights?"

"I'm fine. My body can handle whatever those ass holes throw at me."

"I know that. I wasn't really referring to those."

Lightning lifted a confused brow until she noticed that the woman was looking at the slumbering silveret. The fact that Zalera felt the need to check up on her after hers and Hope's spat just caused her agitation to rise. "Mind your own business."

Surprised by the gruff brush off, the older woman gave her a look of disbelief. "This is my business. You don't think that having you two standing at odds could put us at risk?"

Lightning's eyes widened and she floundered for a reply, but Zalera wasn't done.

"We need solidarity, here." Zalera thought back to all of the fighting and quarreling, all of the unnecessary words spoken and the unresolved issues. The tension in the air was so thick she felt like she was damn near choking on it. "If we're going to survive this, we have to be a team that works like one cohesive unit. You and Hope-" She glanced down at her boots, licking her lips as she thought of how to complete that sentence. "You have a lot to deal with. I get that. But if you both are too preoccupied with your fight and keep avoiding the real problem, you could get us all killed. And that, Lightning, is definitely my business."

Zalera stormed off, not even allowing her a word in edge-wise. As much as Lightning hated to admit it, she knew the woman was right. Hope had run off into a trap over what she had said about Snow. Her own feelings led her into a battle with Sebastian that had nearly cost her her own life. The two of them had faced enough repercussions, she didn't want to even imagine how Sazh and Zalera were being affected.

Her strained gaze fell back onto Hope. His serene expression calmed her storming thoughts, but she knew better than to trust such a temporary reprieve. She took a deep, fortifying breath, and decided to clear the air when he awoke.

* * *

Zalera stirred from her place on the ground. Roused from sleep in the dead of night, she went to shift into a better position before she stiffened at the presence of someone standing over her. Without allowing a second to pass, Zalera grabbed her chakram from its place at her side. She raised it as she sat up, ready to strike down her opponent, only to freeze as she found out who it was. "Lightning," she breathed in an exhale of relief. "What are you doing there? I could have just taken you out at the knees, you realize?" But the soldier wasn't listening. She stood there, her muscles taut with what appeared to be suspicion and anticipation. "Ligh-"

"Shh!" Lightning closed her eyes, her ears open to the sounds surrounding them. She listened to the cold wind as it slithered through the rustling leaves, to the fire as it crackled and sputtered, and to the light chirps of the crickets that wandered the grasslands. She honed her senses to the breathing of her teammates, listening to the short, shallow breaths coming from Zalera, and to the deep and relaxed respiration of Hope and Sazh. Her heart pounded in alarm as her perceptive hearing caught the very slight, almost silent breathing of a fifth person in their midst.

Whoever it was wasn't alone. As soon as she caught it, she could hear the tell-tale signs of others. They weren't as close, but they were there, all coming in to quietly surround and ambush them. She couldn't believe she hadn't noticed them sooner, although it wasn't a completely shocking turn of events. They were surrounded by trees and brush. Protected by the cover of night and the dense brush around them, it wasn't surprising that their approach had gone undetected thus far.

She opened her eyes as her hand moved slowly towards the hilt of her gunblade. "Zalera," Lightning said quietly.

"I know." She brought her own weapons up and stood, soon walking out just past their little campsite. She nodded towards the other woman before her gaze turned sharply toward a nearby tree. She could sense the intruder, too. The person was incredibly skilled at hiding themselves amongst the branches, but there were some traces of oneself that a person just couldn't hide from people like her and Lightning. She took a breath before she quickly threw out her chakram towards the presence. It spiraled in the air and cut its way through the branches, soon disappearing from sight. She could hear the person scramble out of its way and saw as a blur of purple passed into another tree before she heard the deep thunk of her weapon striking the trunk.

She listened as their breathing quickened into sharp, shattered breaths. They sounded startled, but hardly scared. She readied herself to throw her other chakram, but a voice stopped her.

"It's been a long time since I was on the receiving end of one of your attacks, Zalera."

Hope and Sazh finally began to stir, but Lightning quieted them. She came to stand in front of them, shielding them as they collected themselves and their own weapons.

A green brow rose in intrigue. By the very masculine tone, she could at least tell that it was a man, and a young one, at that. A young man that she apparently knew. Something about his voice spoke to the very depths of her memory, but his identity remained out of reach. "We've faced each other before?"

"Many times. I should have put my sword through you, back then."

"Big words for someone still in hiding. Why don't you come on out and we'll see if you're more than just talk?"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he asked, voice thick with unrestrained scorn. "Get rid of me once for all?"

Before her mind could fully process that statement, the others emerged from the surrounding brush. At least six Pulsian fighters stood around them, all brandishing their own sabers and spears. Zalera glanced at all of them, her expression quickly growing alarmed at the anger and disgust written upon the shadowed faces of her fellow Pulsians. None of them looked familiar and not one of them looked friendly. With a growing sense of unease, she stepped back until she was back within her group, all of them falling into defensive stances.

"What's going on here, Z?" Hope asked, gaze wary. Most of the Pulsians' none-too-kind expressions were directed at him and he subconsciously tugged his sleeve down further over his brand. They knew what he was. There was no other reason for them to single him out the way they were, even if it was only with their eyes.

Zalera gave a slight shake of her head. "I don't-"

She was cut off as the first intruder finally stepped out from the shadows. He jumped from his hiding place, his feet landing with a quiet whisper on the ground. He revealed himself as the young man he sounded like, his skin lightly tanned and his clothes denoting his Pulsian culture. His brunet hair shined in the moonlight, the strands swaying gently with the breeze. His sea blue eyes were hard with a long harbored hatred as he stared at the woman before him. He wielded two swords in his palms, his grip on them tight with the promise of death.

Zalera swallowed against the lump in her throat as she looked at him in barely concealed astonishment. _It can't be him. He's supposed to be…_

"Noel?!"

* * *

The group had been corralled away from their camp and brought to the home of a Pulsian tribe. Noel led them and met every question and word of complaint with hardened silence. Lightning had been ready to put up a fight. She didn't want to just follow a bunch of strangers. Who knew where they were leading them, or who they were working for. But Hope stopped her. He wanted to see what was up. He was confident that they would be okay. Lightning wasn't so sure.

They'd entered a small village and were met with more looks of anger and distaste. There were some startling expressions of fear and wonder mixed in, though those were more from the youths within the group. Before long, they came to sit around a large campfire with the leader of the tribe in front of them. They were still surrounded by the warriors that had brought them there, their expressions still afire with malicious intent. Their leader was different, his deeply creased face gentle with concern, even as his shoulders were squared with the authority of a commander.

"Daichi-"

The man waved Zalera off as he gave her a disapproving stare. She complied, adopting a reluctant silence.

"You know these people?" Sazh inquired. She didn't reply, her head bowed in respect.

"I have known Zalera for many years. But that is not the issue that has brought you here." The large man looked down at Hope, his cautious gaze attentive to his every movement. "You have a gentle soul. I can see that within you, but you wield a dangerous weapon. I apologize if my people seem unkind, but you inspire a collective… nervousness among us. "

 _You mean fear._ Hope's hand came down to grip his left wrist, his brand feeling incredibly bare despite the cloth concealing it. He couldn't say that he was unused to being feared. After his branding by Anima, it was the emotion he'd been met with the most. Even after he'd lost his brand, those unsettling looks of fear only diminished. Now as he witnessed those same looks and hate-filled glances, he realized that it never got any easier to deal with. "I mean you all no harm."

"I'm not sure you can say that with such certainty. The nature of your brand is harmful. We have all heard of its intentions. Whether you share those intentions or not is irrelevant."

Hope's brows furrowed as he looked back down at his arm. He supposed that the man had a point. No matter how sure he was that he wouldn't hurt anyone, it didn't guarantee that he wouldn't. His brand's power was already beginning to slip from his control. The crystal was hardly helping.

"I disagree." Lightning stared at the man, an itch of irritation lingering beneath her skin. The more the man talked, the more the itch grew. She didn't like this. She wasn't just going to let these people treat Hope like he was some form of terrorist with a bomb built into his body. They had no idea what he was going through to keep the peace and stop the world from ending. She glanced around the grounds, gaze unflinching as it met the ugly expressions surrounding them. The looks from these people reminded her of one person. A person that had already tried to take Hope out because of a bunch of assumptions and preconceived notions. "Are you the ones who sent an assassin after him?"

Hope's head whipped around to look at Lightning. He hadn't thought about that. He could still feel the sting of his wound, as if his stomach had never fully healed from that arrow and its poison. His eyes widened as his gaze took in everyone around him, now hyper aware of the overbearing feeling of contempt in the air. A slight shake formed in his limbs as anxiety gripped him, before it almost instantly burned into anger. _Did these people kill my father?_

"We are not the ones who sent her to you. Though we are some of the many who chose her."

Startled by his apologetic gaze, Hope cooled some, but the question weighed on his mind until it slipped out. "And the others?" he asked, voice choked. "Did you decide on the others?"

"Others? I have no knowledge of any other attempts."

He let go of the breath he'd been holding. He sensed no lie from the man, only honesty as their gazes met.

The man put his palms down on his knees as he sat forward. "We know of the power you hold. We've seen the destruction your kind creates." He pressed his lips together, expression soured by his words. "It's nothing against you, son. We know your restraints, but we cannot ignore the threat you pose to our world."

"So what are you planning on doing with us?" Sazh spoke. He sat back, leaning his posture on one hand. He kept his composure relaxed despite feeling about as nervous as Hope and as livid as Lightning. "It's clear that you all don't like Hope. Personal or not, you don't trust him or his brand. You ambushed us and gave us little choice in coming here unless we wanted a fight. So, what do you want with us?"

The chief pondered that question for some time, his hands tracing the tattooed patterns that danced along his toned arms. "The three of you are welcome to leave at any time. The only one that poses a true threat here is the l'Cie-"

"He has a name," Lightning snapped. The man looked taken aback at her outburst. She couldn't quite find it in her to care for politeness or formal protocol right then. "His name is Hope. It's about time you stop treating him like the bringer of death and start talking to him like he's a person. This is not some vicious creature's fate you're deciding here. He's a _person_." Lightning brought her gunblade out and placed it in her lap, the action just threatening enough to make a point, but passive enough to make the men around them question their next move. "And if you think we're leaving our friend in your murdering hands, think again."

"Lightning!" Zalera yelled.

"Lightning, that's a little-"

"No, Hope." Hard blue eyes stared into soft green as she met his objection with fierce indignation. "Are you paying attention? What do you think these people want with you? You think they're just inviting you to tea? Because they look an awful lot like those soldiers back in Academia." She raised a hand, stopping him from speaking as he opened his mouth to. "And don't tell me that you trust him? You're really going to take him at his word that he wasn't more involved with Aida? Or that he didn't send others after you? Seriously, you can't-"

"Stop!" Zalera barked, the lone word halting everyone in their tracks, even those simply milling around the tribal grounds.

Lightning snapped her attention back to the woman. She had her eyes closed, face twisted in pain, as if Lightning's words had physically harmed her. The roseate was about to finish her retort, to tell her that she had a point to make, but was once again stopped as she spoke.

Zalera opened her eyes and met the chief's heavy gaze. "May we speak?"

* * *

They went off alone to a small hill that overlooked the entire grounds. Zalera stood with her gaze trained on her friends, making sure that her people would not harm them in her absence. _My people… I am still one of them, right?_ She wasn't sure if that was true anymore. She'd been away from her Pulsian brethren for so long and became so involved with Academia's people that she felt so different from the Pulsian warrior she'd once been. Being on the receiving end of such harsh glares alongside her company only caused her to question her standing even more.

"As watchful and protective as ever, neh, Hondura Lin Zalera?" The tribe leader stood off to the side, his gaze cast down towards his own people, as well. He walked slowly over towards the girl and dropped a heavy hand upon her shoulder. "After we found Noel and heard of what occurred... I'm very grateful to the gods and goddess that you survived and although he doesn't show it, I know he is as well."

Zalera closed her eyes as she drew in a breath. There were questions circling in her mind, dizzying her with the force of her curiosity. _How did Noel survive? Where has he been? Why didn't he try to find me?_ But she couldn't find the strength to ask them. Seeing Noel again only caused her heart great pain. The last time she had seen him, Yeul had still been alive.

"You have quite the family now, don't you? It's been many moons since we've last seen each other. Even then you were so... lost after Caius' passing."

A tear fell as she heard his name. It had been so long since she had heard it. None of them had been able to say it after he'd died. Not her, not Noel, not even Yeul.

"I saw you struggling without his guidance-"

"I'm still struggling!" Zalera jerked from his hold, her hand coming up to grip over her heart. "There's holes... giant holes inside of me where they used to belong..." Her mind conjured up the images before she could stop them. She could see Yeul's bright face and Caius' stern expression in her mind's eye as if they were still there. The images only caused her to feel empty, like a hollow shell that laid forgotten by the sea. "…but they've helped me. Their kindness, their acceptance... their presence alone eases me. They fill holes I didn't even know existed." Her eyes caught sight of her group and she felt the hollowness continue to recede.

She turned back to the man at her side and watched as his expression softened at her words. She trusted Daichi. He was the main person that had helped her get back on her feet after Caius was gone. He was the only person besides Caius that had believed in her as a guardian. The only person that thought she was just as capable of protecting Yeul as her guardian had been. _He's just another person I failed._

She cut those thoughts off. "You cannot give the order, Daichi. Please." She took his hands and cupped them in her own. She squeezed them as desperation pooled beneath her eyes. "They are not outsiders. They want to save this land and protect our world! They want to kill the person who took Yeul just as much as we do. They are as much a part of Pulse as I am. Please don't."

"There's been talk about you, too, Zalera."

She instantly dropped their hands and jolted away from him as if she'd been burned. "Why?! Because I'm not fully Pulsian?!" she nearly screamed. He frowned, but said nothing. She'd spent most of her childhood as an outcast amongst most Pulsian tribes, but that had changed when she'd been taken in by Caius. And Daichi had never seemed to mind before. He'd never once spoken of it. He had always treated her like one of his own. Always. The guilt in his eyes only made her angry. "I won't let you kill them."

"You will die for them?"

" _Yes_."

He seemed momentarily perplexed by her unyielding conviction. "You know that I have to," he replied, though he hardly looked happy about it. "A chief has to look out for their tribe. I cannot allow outsiders to remain on our plains. Especially not one as potentially dangerous as him."

"Daichi-" His stare silenced her.

"They do have good hearts, I'll give them that. From my perception, they are the perfect companions for you."

She grew confused as she saw the raw emotion in the depths of his eyes. There was a happiness to his gaze that she had only seen once before. There was also a hint of pride shining within it as he looked back at her.

"It shall start at dawn."

Betrayal sunk into her chest before she realized the implication behind his words. He was giving her a warning. A way out. "Thank you..." she whispered.

"You still have business with me, Zalera."

Noel jumped down from his hiding spot above them. He'd been sitting in the tree the entire time, simply watching the exchange. Zalera had known of his presence and so had Daichi.

"Don't think you can get away from me that easily." He brought up his blade and advanced on her.

"Go ahead." She turned towards him and spread her arms out, welcoming his attack. "Give me your best shot, Noel." Her challenge caught him off guard, his limbs stilling with hesitation. "But you let them leave," she said, jerking her chin in her team's direction. "They have nothing to do with this. So, come on. Give me all you've got."

Noel said nothing as his brooding stare took her in. She looked deep into his eyes, trying to figure out what it was that he wanted from her. His animosity towards her was nothing new. Noel hated her. He'd hated her from the moment she'd become a candidate to become Caius' successor. That hatred had only grown since Caius died, the circumstances of his passing sealing her fate at Yeul's side and barring Noel from his destiny. But there was a new hatred residing in the depths of his soul. Something far darker and far more savage sat there like a caged beast ready to rip itself out. She was sure that he would attempt to take her life. If not now, then she would be tasting his blade sometime in the future.

When enough time had passed and Noel had yet to make a move, Zalera dropped her arms and turned away. She descended the hill, leaving the two men in silence.

"You should go with them, son." Daichi's gravelly voice broke through the quiet.

"What?" Noel asked, his face twisted in disgust.

"You've been missing your people, your true tribe. You said you would give anything to have them back. Well, here she is," he gestured to the now empty space Zalera left behind, "a part of your missing family. You feel like an outsider here, right? Your soul is still very restless. You should go with them. I'm sure her family would welcome you, as they did her."

"I..." Noel wavered, expression torn. He wanted his family back. He'd spent so many nights desperately wishing to be back with them. To be by Yeul's side as she smiled and laughed. To spend more hours enduring one of Caius' grueling training sessions. _But not with her. Never her._

"And you want to stop all of this... That is their goal. To right the wrongs that have been made towards their home, our home... towards you and Yeul... Go with them, Noel."

He snapped himself out of his thoughts. There was no point in wishing for the impossible. He was alone now, as he always would be. "Never."

* * *

"How do they know so much about my brand? About me?" Hope wondered aloud.

"I've been thinking about that since Aida," said Lighting. She'd calmed herself since their meeting with the tribe's leader, but she still felt restless within enemy territory. And there was no doubt in her mind that they were in enemy territory. "Have the people of Pulse always been so tuned in to our affairs?"

"I assume so," spoke Sazh, "or Castea's got a lot more puppets than we realized."

"I thought we decided that Castea didn't send… Aida." Her name caught in Hope's throat and felt unpleasant on his tongue. The woman still produced mixed feelings within him. He knew he shouldn't care much for the assassin that had come so close to taking his life, but he couldn't help the guilt that sat on his chest as he thought back to her bloody body chained to their interrogation room table. "Or at least that she wasn't directly responsible for it."

Lightning mulled over Hope's question for a moment, turning her gunblade over in her palms. The men around them had backed off, but they still stared at her uneasily as she openly fingered her weapon. "Maybe she wasn't directly involved, but that doesn't mean that she didn't spread the word. What better way to stop us from forming any possible alliances with the Pulsian populace than to let out little whisperings about you and your brand?"

Hope fought back the bitter anger that rose as Lightning spoke about Castea. It wasn't the time or place. "How are we going to get out of here?"

"We wouldn't even be here if you'd just listened to me."

"You're right. I'm sorry."

Lightning paused, stunned by the apology. "It's… fine." She looked up towards the hill where Zalera and the man were speaking. It looked like a pretty intense conversation, but they were too far away for her to read much else. "I'm hoping that's what Zalera's talking to him about. Maybe her connection to these people can get us out of this mess. I wouldn't count on it, though. They seem very keen on keeping you."

"Ugh," Hope groaned. "I'm so sick of everyone deciding my future for me. Can't they just let me be?"

"Hey," Lightning scooted closer to him and laced their fingers together. "Don't worry. I'm figuring out an exit strategy as we speak. We'll be back on track to getting the second crystal in no time."

"Yippee," he grumbled, but he took comfort in their connected hands. He still felt ill-at-ease in Lightning's company. Their fight had only continued to snowball with recent events. The fact that Lightning knew about his torture made him want to pull away. The fact that she'd kept it from him made him want to vomit. But he did neither of those things. Instead he allowed himself to push the revelation out of his mind.

" _Didn't she tell you? She knows…"_

He tightened his grip on Lightning, as if that would stop Castea's voice from worming its way back into his mind.

"Is it just me, or is that kid staring at us?"

Lightning rolled her eyes and paid his question little mind. "Everyone's staring at us, Sazh."

"Gee, no kidding. I meant… more than everyone else. He's just _staring_. It's starting to creep me out."

Lightning looked over to the child that Sazh referenced. He was definitely staring at them. His amber eyes were concentrated on their group as he stood over by a hut nearby. His expression was blank, oddly void of any emotion for a child his age. It was more than a little unnerving. Lightning tilted her head as she came to realize something. "He's not staring at us. He's staring at you."

Hope caught Lightning's glance and looked back at the boy. He jumped in his spot as he noticed that he had moved towards them. "Um…"

"Did that kid get closer without even moving?" asked Sazh, shuffling closer to the others. Hope nodded mutely. The elder man blinked as he looked back. "Oh, god, he got closer."

Hope chuckled lightly, if not a bit uneasily. "Maybe he just wants to talk to us."

"Or maybe he wants to kill us all in our sleep and cackle as he dances in our innards."

Hope gawked at his comment. "What the heck, Sazh? As a father, I would have thought that you'd find kids endearing."

"I do. But that one's just creepy."

"His name is Oak." The whole group jumped as Zalera's voice came from behind them.

"Dang, woman. You couldn't have given us a warning?" Sazh brought a hand up to his chest as he drew in a breath. "You all are going to owe me a new heart. Between you and that kid over there-"

"You mean this kid, here?"

Sazh turned back around to find the boy not six feet from him. "Holy mother of-" He instantly jumped from his spot and hid behind Zalera. "He ain't gettin' my innards."

Zalera let out a hearty laugh. "He's just shy, you dingbat." She smacked him upside the head, laughing even more as he gave an indignant squawk. Brushing away the tears forming at the corners of her eyes, she nodded towards the young one. "Hey there, Oak. You're one of the few I recognize around here."

The boy bowed deeply, but his expression didn't flinch. His gaze travelled along the group members, from Zalera to Sazh to Lightning before it finally settled back on Hope.

The silveret cleared his throat as he moved to kneel before him, putting them at about the same height. "Hi, my name's Hope. It's nice to meet you." He held out his hand, but the boy only stared at it with the same blank expression. Hope frowned, glancing at Zalera for help.

"Oak doesn't talk. And he doesn't really like touching people-"

Hope's eyes widened as the boy slowly reached his hands out towards Hope's face. His hands paused in the air, as if waiting for permission. Hope gave it with a nod of his head. Oak laid his palms on his face, and Hope had to stop himself from cringing at the rough, foreign skin on his own. Oak's fingers slowly felt along his cheeks and up towards his eyes. He closed his eyelids, waiting as his fingertips felt along them, as well. He opened them as his hands descended down, tracing over his lips that formed into an anxious smile. They continued down until they paused on his chest and pressed down over his heart. Hope's brow creased as Oak grabbed onto his own hand and brought it to the boy's chest. He could feel the boy's heart beat against the pressure of his hand. It was a slow rhythm, quiet and at ease.

Oak nodded towards him and closed his eyes. Taking that as a signal, Hope followed his lead, but his vision wasn't filled with the blackness he had expected. It was as if he had closed his eyes only to open them to a completely different world. His body was no longer on the plains of Pulse and was instead eclipsed in a dark void that surrounded a calm, but vibrant river of energy. It flowed along in the air before him, streams of blue light just swirling and dancing together to create one cohesive stream. Hope felt compelled to touch it, but didn't dare try.

He waited there, watching as the energy floated off into the distance. Hope wondered how long the river was and where it was going. It looked like it just continued on forever, a steady stream that never stopped. It held the sound of light buzzing and smelled of life, like the air after a rainstorm, a strong scent of rain and wet grass, but also sunshine and warm earth. Hope felt it odd that he could feel so at peace in a place so dark and lonely.

A soft whistle blew through the air and the energy shifted. It winded around and formed into two giant hands. Hope took a cautious step back, but knew that there was nowhere he could run even if he wanted to. So instead he planted his feet down and accepted them. They wouldn't hurt him, right?

They drew forward slowly until they sunk into his chest. Hope felt a tender heat surround his heart, little fingers of warmth tracing its edges until the energy invaded that too. He gasped as a strong emotion welled up within him. He felt a deep respect and admiration, as if the energy held him in high regard and was giving him its praise. He could also feel his very spirit grow stronger as the odd current flowed through him. His soul felt lighter, not as burdened by expectations, loss, and fear.

Then the hands slipped back out. They crept away, their shape altering until they turned back into the river that continued to flow. Hope could feel something attempting to draw him back and he opened his eyes.

A small, quiet smile formed on Oak's face, a twinkle in his eyes as he pulled away. He bowed again, this time towards Hope, before scampering off out of sight.

"Oak… usually doesn't do that." Zalera watched him run off, her gaze full of wonder.

Lightning looked over at Hope, concerned. "What did he just do?"

Hope sat back on his heels, staring at his hand before he put it over his heart. "I don't know."

"I think he just gave you his blessing," Zalera suggested.

"Blessing?"

She nodded. "Oak comes from a long line of pureblood mages. They've been known to give blessings from time to time. The last time I saw him do that was with Yeul. She said that it was his way of casting protection upon one's soul."

"Why would he do that? Why doesn't he fear me like everyone else?"

"Maybe he doesn't think you deserve to be feared," she responded with a smile.

Hope's lips turned up into its own smile. He felt a sense of tranquility sink into his core as he thought about that. There was someone that wanted to protect him. Someone that didn't just see him as a filthy l'Cie. Someone that didn't want to condemn him for things beyond his control. "He's a mage? I didn't know that mages even existed. Outside of short passages, I haven't come across them in Pulsian history."

"Of course they exist, but their bloodlines thinned out as our numbers dwindled over past centuries. Oak is a rare bird." Zalera's eyes narrowed as she looked at the Pulsian fighters around them. "I'm surprised they let him near you, actually."

Hope looked out to where the young boy had disappeared. He reminded him of himself at the beginning of his trials. Not by his appearance. The two couldn't look more different. The boy held dark brown hair and tough, bronzed skin reminiscent of Fang's. A thick cloth was wrapped around his waist and slender lines traversed his upper torso, tribal tattoos that Hope assumed were a custom of his culture. He appeared earthy, wild and untamed. But he was still such a young boy of maybe twelve or thirteen years and he already held the burden of immense power.

"Is he mute by choice or…"

"You could say that. When mages come into their powers they're forced to make a sacrifice. They give up a piece of themselves in order to gain the right to wield magic. Oak chose his voice. He is physically capable of talking, but if he breaks his silence, he breaks his oath to his ancestors and would be stripped of his powers."

 _A sacrifice?_ Now that sounded familiar. They all had to make a sacrifice to gain power. The mages give up a piece of themselves, a sense or a right others take for granted. L'Cies and even fal'Cies are bound to live their lives in servitude. Every Yeul gives up the bulk of her lifetime to receive glimpses of the future. And his sacrifice? Would it be his life? His humanity?

"So what's going on, Zalera?" Lightning questioned. "They don't actually intend on hurting us, do they?"

"Not us. As Daichi said, they just want Hope. But if we stay, they'll pass judgement on us, as well."

Lightning glared at the people around them. "Judgement?"

"Why don't I like the sound of that?" Sazh asked as he sat back down.

Zalera clicked her tongue and sat down to join them as she explained. "When a tribe determines someone to be a threat, the chief makes the overall decision of what is to be done with them. With l'Cies, the chief usually waits to give an order. He either decides to let them go, kill them, or seek council with other tribal heads and go from there. Once the order is given, it cannot be changed and must be carried out no matter what. Daichi is waiting to give the order until dawn."

Sazh looked around the group and asked what was on everyone's mind. "What does that mean?"

"It means we have until dawn to get out of here."

"Let's get going then." Sazh stood up and made to leave.

Lightning quickly grabbed his collar, trying to act casual so as not to alert those around them. "They're not just going to let us leave, Sazh. We have to wait until the crowd thins out a little, right?"

Zalera gave a nod of assent, her eyes also carefully gauging the crowd. "Everything will settle soon. Trust me. We'll leave soon, but not until the right moment."

"And if the right moment doesn't present itself?" Zalera glared at the afro-haired man, his hands instantly raising in surrender. "Just being realistic. Something always happens and I'd like to be prepared."

Lightning had been thinking about that, too. It wasn't that she didn't believe Zalera. As Sazh said, things happened, especially around them. Nothing seemed to go simply or smoothly for them, much to her displeasure. "Hope could always just put everyone to sleep or something." Her eyes glanced in his direction, but he looked reluctant, to say the least. "Your more passive abilities can come in handy."

"I'd really rather not. I don't know what kinds of consequences even my passive abilities may have for others. The less I have to use my brand, the better, I think."

"I agree," Zalera said. "And we wouldn't want to give them any reasons to follow us."

Hope smiled. "So we wait."

* * *

They waited until the night stilled to make their escape. It actually wasn't too hard to slip out unnoticed. The men around them had withdrawn as the chief retired, and as the last few Pulsians began to turn in, they made their move. They'd almost made it out before they caught the eye of one warrior guarding the perimeter, but as his gaze met Zalera's, an understanding formed in his eyes and he turned the other way, allowing them unhindered passage.

It wasn't until they were miles out of the tribe's reach that they felt like they could breathe again. The first rays of the sun were peeking out over the horizon when they decided to make camp, once again. Since they were by a stream, Sazh ducked out, deciding that he wanted to rinse the last week's worth of grime off of his body.

"If anyone needs me, I'll be having a soak."

"Is that really smart? Should we be separating so soon?" Hope was leery of the false security everyone had so easily adopted. While he didn't doubt that they were far enough away from the tribe to camp, he still knew that other dangers lurked in dark corners. They'd already almost lost Sazh once. Splitting up just seemed like a bad idea.

Zalera took his question into consideration, but found little problem with it. The stream wasn't too far away, and Sazh could hold his own well enough. "We're quite a ways away, Hope. I don't see much harm. Besides, Sazh can protect himself, right?"

"Course. I got my duelers keeping me company." He spun one of his pistols around his finger in a lazy show of capability.

Lightning shook her head at her goofball of a teammate. "If anything happens, I'm sure we'll hear him hollering," she quipped.

"Hey! Now that's just unkind."

Hope laughed and let his feelings of wariness ease as Sazh made his way out of sight. The young director's attention then fell to Zalera. Her gaze was intense as she stared out past them, her eyes watching the trees as if she expected something to pop out and attack. After last time, he couldn't blame her.

"I'm going to check around the perimeter, just to be safe."

Zalera left the two of them alone as she, too, went off on her own. Lightning almost objected. Being left with Hope alone meant that she finally had to own up and talk to him. She had to be an adult and take advantage of the opportunity. She'd resolved to do it the night before, why was it so hard now? "That just leaves you and me, I guess."

Hope said nothing, just began to fuss with the things inside the pack at his hip.

"Listen, Hope. I know you don't want to talk to me, but-"

"Who says I don't want to talk to you?"

She scowled and walked around him so they could face each other. "Don't give me that passive aggressive crap. Before we were whisked away," she began with a tense roll of her hand, "you were either outright ignoring me or placating me. And I hate being placated even more than ignored."

He dropped his task, finally raising his gaze to meet hers. "What do you want me to say? I can't…" _"Didn't she tell you…"_ He brushed those words off. This wasn't about that. He couldn't let it be about that. "I can't ignore what you said back there. I know you were angry and I know you were hurt, but that doesn't mean that you didn't mean any of it."

The fire in her eyes quieted, but she was no less determined. "I already apologized for that…" It had taken a lot out of her, and he'd seemed to accept her apology back at the castle. She'd apologize again, if she had to. If it would get him to finally open back up and let her in, she would do it without a word of complaint.

"Not about my mom and Snow. About before. I can't change who I am, Light."

"I don't want you to."

"Yes, you do," Hope quickly replied. "I know why you're worried. You think that my compassion will leave me vulnerable. That I won't be able to take the enemy down when the time comes." She wasn't alone in that thought. He'd already begun to hesitate. For all he knew, if he'd just kept going and taken advantage of her vulnerable state, the threat of Castea could have already been eliminated. "And maybe you're right. Maybe the next time I face Castea or whatever opponent comes next, I won't want to kill them." His hand balled into a fist at his side as his stare hardened. "But maybe I won't have to. Did you think of that? Did you ever consider that maybe there's an alternative to killing the enemy?"

"She has to die, Hope." Lightning could feel more bricks being added to that wall between them, but she wouldn't waver on this. No matter what Hope thought, no matter what he wanted, Castea was going to die. "I don't know why you seem so averse to the idea. She wants you dead. She tried to kill us multiple times. She kidnapped your friends. She caused the deaths of Kori and Cass, possibly even Lebreau, Alyssa, Hildough, and so many other people. God, even after all she did to Academia and you're _defending_ her." She couldn't understand it. It was maddening and she hated how much it affected her. How much that woman affected her, but not Hope. Just the thought of Castea threw her into a blind rage. She wanted to decimate her, make her regret her existence for everything she did to them, to Hope. "She tortured you. After everything she put you through-"

"What do you know about what I went through?" Hope stared back at her, provoking her with his eyes. _Say it, Lightning. Admit what you saw._ He didn't know why he wanted her to say it. He was treating her like she was the evil one. Like she was the one that strapped him to that table and forced him to feel every ounce of his mortality. He just felt so betrayed, so hurt and frustrated by her keeping something so important from him. It was hypocritical of him and he knew that. He jumped through so many hoops to keep it all from her, put them both and their relationship through such strain. But it didn't matter. She knew now. She knew and she never said a word. _Why, Lightning? Are you ashamed of me now? Do I disgust you? Are you trying to forget what you saw because if you didn't you wouldn't be able to face me anymore?_ Hope shook his head as he turned away from Lightning and the thoughts surrounding her. _Stop. Stop projecting your own feelings onto her. It's not fair._

"I don't."

 _Ah, and there it is._ The lie. She was outright lying to him now. He couldn't even say he hadn't expected it. Here she was trying to get him to stop running away from her, when she was too busy still running from him.

Lightning sprang forward and grabbed onto the front of his coat. She gripped it hard, shaking him until he finally looked back at her again. "But I was there when you were gone." She couldn't keep the emotion from her voice as she continued and she was painfully aware of how broken she sounded, of how broken she looked, but she didn't care, not when she felt so desperate to convey her feelings toward him. "I counted the days when you were in her hands. I endured nightmares and horrifying visions of what you could have been going through. I had to force myself to act like I was okay when I was falling apart because you were gone." Lightning could feel old tears of pain and sorrow return anew as she remembered what it was like to lose him. It had been so hard to hold herself back from tearing the world apart to get to him. Her grip on him strengthened, as if she were afraid that he was going to disappear once more. "And when I saw you in that hospital bed… saw what I could have prevented… I will never forgive her. And I don't understand why you're so ready to."

Hope brought her into his arms faster than her namesake. He held her for a few moments, making clear that he understood her pain. "Don't misunderstand, Lightning. I don't forgive her. I can't. But a part of me can't condemn her for it either. Don't ask me why." Her arms wrapped around his waist and he felt reassured when she didn't immediately pull away. "I don't know what I'll do in the future. But I have to know that you'll still be there with me when I make the decision, and that you'll trust me enough to let me follow through on that decision when I make it."

"I'll be there. I'm sorry I said that I wouldn't. I didn't mean it." She squeezed him tighter as their hug drew on. She'd missed this intimacy and the simple assurances it brought with it. "Are we okay?"

"Not yet, but we'll get there. Nothing can change the fact that I love you."

Lightning burrowed her nose into his jacket and muttered, "…Forever and always?"

He barked out a watery chuckle at the adorable way that she'd asked that, the words so full of hope and insecurity. "Yeah…" It didn't matter where they stood, or what they were going through, Hope believed that there would never be a time when he wouldn't cherish the woman in his arms. Even if she could be a giant pain in the ass sometimes. "Yeah," he said more resolutely and pulled back just enough to kiss her on the forehead before he tucked her head back beneath his chin. "Forever and always. Mind, body and soul."

 _Why can't you tell me?_ He let that question rest within the confines of his mind. He wasn't sure he was ready for the answer, or if he ever would be.

* * *

Zalera stalked off into the trees, keen on finding the person trailing them. She knew who it was. There was never any doubt. "I know you're there! You might have kept yourself just far enough away to remain undetected this time, but that doesn't change the fact that I know you're there!"

"You're just so smart, huh?" Noel stared down at his former companion, an unimaginable rage coiling in his gut. She still looked so strong and willful, like the days without Yeul had no hold on her. How come she hadn't been destroyed by Yeul's death like he had? How could she stand there, so calm and collected, when she'd failed the soul she'd sworn to protect? It wasn't right. It was unforgivable.

"No, you're just too predictable." He jumped down from his spot and came to stand before her. His body, rigid with anger, blocked her path back to her group. But that was just fine with her. They didn't need to get caught up in her problems. She could handle Noel on her own. "What do you want from me, Noel?" Zalera asked, her words heavy with exasperation.

Noel tensed up even more at the question. "What do I want?" He scoffed, turning to face her as scorn darkened his features. "I want what you took from me."

"Took from you?"

"You took Yeul!" he screamed. "You…"

Zalera watched as his frustration crumbled into grief. A sudden twitch developed in her fingers, her body seeking to comfort the boy she had watched grow into a man. The boy she had spent so much of her life with. But she stilled her hand. The days of her comforting him were long past. Right now, he wanted her head. She had to focus her mind on Noel as the enemy, not as her friend.

His face scrunched up as the sorrow threatened to swallow him. It was too much. There were so many emotions he'd swallowed down so he could survive, so he could stay alive and keep moving. He hadn't dealt with Yeul's death, not completely. Now, standing before Zalera, he was forced to confront those demons he kept locked up for so long. "You were supposed to protect her and instead you just… You let her die!"

"Is this really about Yeul?" Zalera asked as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. Noel's face twitched in irritation as she said her name. "Or is this the same fight we've always had? I became her guardian, a title originally meant for you," she said as she pointed a finger at him. "You were born with that destiny. You lived and trained and breathed knowing that it would one day be your job, and then I swooped in and stole it from you. That's what you're mad about. That's why you couldn't just let me leave and forget I ever existed. You're clinging to something that doesn't even matter anymore."

"Don't! Don't you dare say it doesn't matter! It means everything." In one furious movement, Noel hilted his smaller dagger into his larger blade and hefted his great sword into a fighting stance. "I'll take back that title. I'll protect the next Yeul. You don't deserve the right."

"You want to fight me, Noel?" Zalera lazily untucked her chakrams from their straps and brought them down at her sides. She stared him down, her eyes evaluating his form. In many ways, he was the same Noel she'd known for half her life. In many ways, he wasn't. _Just what did losing her do to you, Noel?_ She drew herself back, ready to catch the attack he was gearing himself up for. "Just like old times…"

Noel lunged forward, his sword diving straight for her abdomen. She swung her chakrams down, the three weapons colliding with a loud screech. He didn't back off immediately, and that caught her off guard. The old Noel would have. Instead he hefted his weight forward, determined as he pushed her back. Her boots slid in the dirt and Zalera could feel her muscles screaming at her as she tried to hold the man's attack.

Giving a loud grunt, Zalera strengthened her stance before she shoved him off. She pulled back, but Noel didn't let up. He attacked her again, this time with a hefty swipe aimed at her side. She easily deflected it, but before she could blink there was another one. Noel pivoted and swung his sword back around towards her other, unguarded side. She quickly brought one of her chakrams up to catch the attack, but the block was inefficient. Noel's great sword allowed him to put his whole being behind his swings. Catching him with one hand was the wrong move and she could feel her wrist twisting as it took the brunt of his weight.

_When did you get so strong?!_

Bringing her other chakram down, she broke their weapons' connection and drew back again. She tried to put some distance between them so she could freely throw one of her chakrams. Before she could even attempt, Noel was back in her space, his sword diving low as he swung at her feet. She jumped over the blade scant seconds before it could connect with her ankles. She'd barely landed when the sword came back and she jumped over it again.

_When did you get so fast?!_

Her landing was off, and she remained unbalanced on her feet as he continued to lash out at her. Every swing came in faster, harder. She narrowly dodged each one, becoming slower and weaker as the time drew on. He leapt off the ground to land a hit aimed at her head. Again she caught his attack, but his swing managed to steal her chakram from her hands. It spun away from her until it stuck itself in the dirt.

 _You really want to kill me…_ The realization devastated her more than she thought it would.

When he didn't immediately attack again, she let out a rush of air and ran the back of her unoccupied hand over her forehead. Sweat dripped down the sides of her face and down the length of her back. Her arms felt like jelly as she dropped them back at her sides. Her only consolation was that Noel looked just as tired as she felt. "Not bad. You're improving."

"Don't talk like him," Noel barked. How dare she sound like him. Like she was Noel's master and he was her student. He had one master, and she'd taken him from him. "You're not him. You will _never_ be him."

Zalera considered his statement and the fury it had been loaded with. "Or is this about Caius? Is this because I killed him?" It took everything in her to sound unaffected. "Is this because I killed him when you couldn't?"

"No!" he yelled as his eyes widened and his nostrils flared.

"It is, isn't it?"

He shook his head adamantly in denial, as if he could erase the truth with one simple action.

Zalera steeled herself until she was ready for his revenge. If Noel wanted to blame her, then she would let him. She already blamed herself. Noel's desire to take her life only reinforced her feelings of guilt and shame. "I killed him, took your title, and got Yeul killed! I deserve to die, right? Then kill me!" He lifted his head at her demand, but didn't make a move. As Noel hesitated, Zalera lashed out one last time, the swipe of her chakram ripping his great sword from his grip and sending it flying.

Shock registered on Noel's features before it sunk into resignation. He fell to his knees, his body hitting the ground with a dull thump. "Why can't I ever win?"

Her chest heaved in quick breaths and she felt more than just the strain of her exhaustion dragging her body down. She stared down at his form, his lost expression striking her heart with pity. With a sigh, she went to collect her other chakram and his sword. She latched her weapons back into her back straps and went back to stand before him. "Here." She held his blade out in front of his face.

He looked up at it, his eyes gazing along the length of the sword before he hung his head in disgrace. "I don't deserve it."

She growled as she yanked Noel up from his spot and forced his weapon into his hand. "Take it." She waited until his grip tightened before letting go. "He gave it to you. You earned the right to wield it a long time ago. Now act like the man Caius thought you were."

Noel gazed down at the sword for some time, his eyes just tracing the flames that the blades resembled. "What are you doing, Zalera?" Noel asked passively, his words lacking any of that former fire he'd faced her with.

"What do you mean?"

"Here. With them."

She watched his face pinch in distaste and was surprised by the reaction. She didn't think Noel would hold the same view as the rest of the Pulsian populace. He had always been pretty receptive when Yeul would speak about the possibilities of peace between the two worlds.

"He's the reason they took her. They killed her because of him."

 _So that's why._ Zalera was quickly realizing that they needed to start addressing and eradicating the rumors circulating on Pulse. They were stirring up trouble and would only lead to more people coming after their group. "No, Noel. It wasn't Hope's fault."

"I don't believe you."

She bristled, but calmed herself before she could lash out at him again. "She wanted him to succeed."

Noel went wide eyed at that. "Huh?"

"Yeah," she replied, staring off as Hope and Lightning emerged from the trees, their frantic gazes searching her out. She looked at Hope's face and all of her guilt and regrets began to ebb away. "She saw what was going to happen and she wanted him to win. So I'm going to make sure her wish comes true." She turned back to him, her gaze strong as a spirited smile perked her lips. "I'm still following her lead even if she's no longer here in front of me."

Zalera began to walk off, ready to let her teammates know what was up, but was stopped by a gentle tug on her forearm. She looked back over her shoulder, Noel's fervent gaze meeting hers.

"I'm coming." His hand fell from her and came back to the hilt of his sword. Caius had given him that sword so he could protect Yeul. If he couldn't do that, then he could at least protect her dreams. "If it's for her, then I'm in."


End file.
